Date: Wed, 22 Oct 2008 00:58:58 -0500 From: Andy Smith Subject: Asleep on the Beach Chapter 21 Asleep on the Beach Chapter 21 Disclaimer: Please be advised that under aged youths are advised to not read this material, and indeed doing so may be illegal where you are – so check your local laws first as there are sexual encounters ahead by youngsters in this story. If this offends you, perhaps you should not have read this far, and I certainly would not advise continuing further. Everyone else is welcome. Any comments are welcomed: prompt and courteous replies from: andyoutwest@live.com Chapter 21 Back to the Beach It takes me a few seconds to gain my bearing as I was deep into my self-induced trance, but Lenny isn't the sort of kid to let something so simple as a distracted boy keep him from his intended mischief! Realizing I wasn't all together with him as he tugged on my arm to get me off the bed, he used more assertiveness to achieve his desired results: he jumped back atop me pinning me back to the bed proceeding to tie a massive kiss on me. His delicious tongue parting my lips - the hunger and ferocity of his kissing soon enough brought me to the present. My hands found their place by snaking under the bottom of his shirt and caressing his oh-god-so soft and sexy skin, then one hand finds its way under the elastic of his shorts (couldn't really tell...underwear, or no?) to cup his perfect globe of boy-flesh – which I fondled tenderly. His body was warm to the touch. (I found out later he ran most of the way to my house.) I began really getting into this kiss when my mind reminded me I was kissing Lenny, and not Jason. Perceiving that something had once again wrestled my mind from his control, Lenny wiggled up off me enough to dart his hand inside my loose shorts and grab my dick. THAT got my attention! His small fingers wrapping around the shaft of my boyhood and with practiced confidence he began jacking me to full blown hard-on. My breathing, now erratic and my returned kissing back on the level of passion with young Lenny – he ratcheted the intensity up a couple of notches – before I knew what he was doing, he had my shirt off, left arm raised over my head, and his mouth planted in my armpit swabbing me with his warm tongue. He was growling and moaning – this was apparently a turn-on for him. Hmmm...something else new for me to try! God...where does this kid come up with this stuff? Needless to say, he was making me horny as could be. I've never considered my armpit as something sexual, or sexually exciting...or anyone else's pit for that matter. I know now that we all have what are called erogenous zones – and that arm pit can be sexually stimulating to some folks...who coulda guessed that? Jeez...I've really got a lot to learn about human sexuality I can tell for sure. But, back to the pit thing...I was thinking "man, I gotta try this with Jason!" Soon, Lenny abandoned my now slippery wet armpit and moved his tongue bath down my torso to my abdomen where he began kissing and licking all around my belly button. I was squirming and twisting on the bed, lifting my buttocks in a way to press my abdomen more tightly to his kisses; anticipation of his target was pushing me to the edge. Without realizing, I placed my hands in his hair and began pushing him downward toward my throbbing penis. By now, my dick was leaking pre-cum copiously which Lenny licked my from my dick - root to tip like a popsicle. He moaned his pleasure with the leaking fluids he tasted, and after encircling my crown a couple of passes with his tongue Lenny dove down on my pole with abandon. Oh shit! The combination of what I had been daydreaming - Jason and me making love before he left - then this hot passionate kissing, tonguing, body-touching...and now sucking I was getting from this little nymph all together spelled a short duration of the pleasure. Despite wanting to prolong the experience of this hot mouth and these velvety lips engulfing my dick – I just couldn't hold out much longer. I warned of my nearing orgasm, but he waved me off – this was exactly his plan all along I guess. In no time, my balls started boiling down deep, deep next the base of my dick where they'd drawn up. Then I could feel the pulsing start in my dick before my sperm shot out. I have become a kid who shoots a whole lot of sperm, and this time it was a whole lot for even me. Wave after wave of pleasure passed through me – it felt like my dick was the very center of the universe. I looked down at little Lenny, who was bobbing feverishly up and down my shaft, and saw some of my cum escaping his lips and running down the length of my dick. God. This was an amazing blowjob...but come to think of it...aren't they all? Really! Euphoria. Unbelievable intensity. I hadn't had boy sex for two whole weeks...since my Jason left. The only release during this whole time has been by my own hand – but even as talented as I am with my hand – there's no comparison to this! I'll take a blowjob from this boy ANYTIME! I had to physically pull the blondie off my dick and up to my chest. He protested, wanting to suckle the dribbles of cum that my dick kept producing, but it was just too sensitive now. Besides, I wanted to lick the cum off his lips! This, of course, meant a whole `nother΄ (I know...that's not a word...but it's how we Texans talk...okay?!) round of kissing and tongue-sucking. At this rate we'd never leave the bed, much less make it to the beach! Lenny's dick was at full mast and I could feel it throbbing beneath the thin material of his shorts. I pushed him over on his back so I could return his favor. He didn't resist. When I reached for the waistband of his shorts and slipped my hand beneath, I discovered the little nymph was indeed free-balling it! God. He is a maniac for sex! (But, what teenage kid isn't...okay, he isn't a teenager yet...but you know what I mean...I think). As I pulled his shorts down and off, he lifted his hips to accommodate me. I sat back a bit and just admired his perfection: golden tan skin, scrumptiously toned abs, well defined thighs and calves. His pecs were just beginning to show, and there was yet to be a noticeable bulge in his biceps...but I'd still rate him at perfect! Not a hair one on his pubic mound, and only a dusting of hair on his calves. Other than that, all the rest of the hair on his body was on his head! Yum. His perfectly shaped penis was rock hard and pointing nearly straight up toward his face, only slightly away from that sexy belly. It was throbbing; he was hurting for release – his eyes begging me to touch him – yet he was relishing in my worship of his body too. Finally, unable to resist – I lowered myself to kiss the underside of his dickhead, teasing it with my tongue. Once again, I was treated with his boy smells – a tiny hint of stale pee, a whiff of soap from his morning shower, the slight dampness of his morning activity – that elusive boy-sex muskiness that you just can't quite LOCATE but know exactly what it is. I inhaled these mixed aromas deeply through my nose, and a groan escaped my throat as I exhaled. I licked my lips and tasted him there, closing my eyes I kissed his dick with full wet lips. Pointing my tongue into a dart, I played with the slit on the top – my fingers lifting his dick slightly away from his body so I could get a better angle. He was so hard I was almost afraid it would break off! Remembering his attack on my pit, I decided to return the favor, and to see if it was as much fun to give as to receive. It is! Oh god...it is! This is such a turn-on. Before I knew it, my limp dick was no longer limp. I was going to have a very hard time keeping myself from fucking him – I wanted it sooooo bad. But, again, I had made a promise (give me sec and I'll explain that better). So, what I did was push his knees up so I could kiss his bottom. Only, I couldn't JUST kiss it...I had to lick it too...and touch it. Lenny went orbital when he realized I was about to kiss his cute little pucker. "Ohhhh..." he moaned and pulled his knees higher to expose himself more fully to my tongue. Next, I moved my mouth back to his hard dick and went down all the way on him. He bucked and cried out with ecstasy. Pulling off his sweet dick after a few bobs, I took both tiny balls in my mouth and rolled them around with my tongue. At the same time, I was probing his ass-hole with my finger and his hole just opened up, my finger sinking slowly all the way inside. Lenny jumped as if he'd be hit...but it wasn't pain he was reacting too! He clamped his legs around my head and forcefully grabbed my hair with both hands and pulled my mouth up to his dick and humped the throbbing member all the way into my mouth. I could feel his pucker gripping and releasing my finger as I messaged his hole, and every time I touched his prostrate with my finger his dick throbbed inside my mouth. The pleasure Lenny was experiencing was mind-blowing. I can't tell you how it made me feel to know I was bring him this intensity. Finally – he convulsed; his entire body rigid and his dick pulsing and throbbing in my mouth. His ass had a death-grip on my finger – so much so that I couldn't push or pull any longer. Knowing the immense pleasure he was experiencing, I didn't try to force it, but just left my finger inside for his body to luxuriate around it. In my mouth, I could taste the thin fluid that came from his dick. It was thicker than water, but not as thick as Jason's cum. The taste was definitely different...sort of sweet tasting. Jason's has this pungent taste and strong odor - boy-sex musk and very intoxicating. Lenny's taste was ...beautiful (I know...not a proper adjective for a taste...but work with me here...). Unable to resist the urge to climax myself, I let his orgasming body down on the bed and raised up on my knees settling between his spread legs and began jacking my dick like there was no tomorrow. Only a dozen or so stokes and my jiz spewed out all over his belly and pubic mound, finally dribbling out on his dick and balls. Spent, I collapsed on top of him and he wrapped his arms around me, accepting my weight, cradling me to himself like a lover. Our hearts were pumping wildly and our breathing was ragged. Eventually, I lifted my head and kissed his chin. Lenny moved enough for us to kiss some more. Finally, I had to tell him to stop or we'd have all our equipment fall off on the floor! "My god, Lenny," I said, panting, "that was intense. How did you learn all this stuff?" "Practice," he quipped in a whimsical tone. "PRACTICE!" I exclaimed, "with whom! Who are you having sex with little mister?" Lenny giggled his answer, "My boy friend, silly!" "Holy Shit! What the fuck am I?" I rang out in mock anguish. Already I'd guessed he and Brant must have been messing around...I mean...I WOULD had I been in Lenny's situation...hell...Brant is one hot looking kid anyway, he's sweet, funny, and has an infectious way about him that makes everybody around him like him – everybody but his stupid brother, that is. Lenny kissed me tenderly...his joking over...I felt the quiver in his lips and knew this was important to him. Placing both hands on my face and touching our noses together Lenny whispered, "Liam, you are my...my savior." He blinked out a tear and stared intensely into my eyes. "I know we can't be boyfriends now, you have Jason. And...that's the way it should be. But, I love you more than I know how to say." With that, he wrapped his little arms around my neck and wept silently with his face pressed beside mine and in my hair. I could feel the warmth of his tears as they made their way down his cheek. Knowing this moment was special to him, I managed to keep my idiocy-proned tongue quiet, and simply cuddled and caressed him while he loved me with all his strength. The stickiness of my cum between us was getting unpleasant though...I decided I didn't much like the way dried semen smelled when the odor hung in the air like this. I loved to smell Jason's old underwear...but his smell was different. I wondered if it was just because the smell was mine, and not Jason's...or Lenny's. Whatever...I needed a shower. "Come on," I pulled Lenny away a tiny bit. "Let's go get in the shower and then we can go down to the beach. My folks are gone all day today, so we can do whatever you want to do. How's that sound?" I kissed his perky up-turned nose. He wiped my kiss off and jumped from the bed. The moment had passed. He was back to his impetulant self. I love this kid. *Sigh* Some of you are going to hate this paragraph – so skip it if you just want the sex stuff, then come back and read it afterwards – the rest of you want to know what I'm talking about when I told you I promised to not fuck Lenny (sorry...that sounds way too crude...maybe I should say I promised I wouldn't...what... "pork" him? "shag" him? Or, "screw" him? See...it's a delicate thing that doesn't have a delicate word. *geez*). See, Jason and I talked about Lenny before he left...before Jason left (I know...you're dying to know about that shit too...please be patient with me...I'm just a kid you know). Jason told me that I needed to look after him – in more ways than one. He believed Lenny and Brant would be up to sex stuff, but, as I was the one who brought about his sexual awakening (so-to-speak), that I needed to be there for him to help him understand and deal with all the things he would be going through. I know it's a pretty heady and serious conversation for fourteen year old boys to be having about a twelve year old; but it's what happened. Basically, Jason said it'd be ok with him if I had oral sex with Lenny, but he believed Lenny was just too small and young for me to be having full-on sex with him again. We talked a lot about it. Jason knew that Lenny was a hound-dog about sex, but he also knew that we needed to kind of take a "big-brother" approach to him and not let him get too deep into the shit yet. "But," I asked Jason after a bit of silence in our conversation, "I mean...ummm...won't it be like...cheating on you if me and Lenny do stuff together?" I was anxious this whole time about how me and Lenny and Jason were going to deal with this love, friendship, sex stuff. I mean, I LOVE Jason and no matter what, I won't ever do anything to jeopardize our love and friendship...but damn, Lenny is SO fine! "I dunno," Jason said thoughtfully. "I know what me and you have is different. With Lenny – correct me if I'm wrong – with Lenny you care about him, he's way sexy, and even more horny: but it's mostly about the sex...isn't it?" I nodded. I'm really confused about all of it, to be truthful. "And with me," he continued, "well...with me it's...it's different...right?" I nodded again. I'm feeling like a bobble-head doll about now. "So...I say let's just take it slow and see what happens. Let's agree to talk to each other about stuff that we're doing and agree that we won't get mad at one another until we both can come up with rules we both agree on and understand." Damn. That is some deep shit. It doesn't sound like a kid. Now I'm really confused. I suppose I looked glassy-eyed because he offered up an explanation. "I...ummm...kinda talked to his Dad about stuff." I jerked my head up. My ears perked up like a puppy might do...I know I looked goofy as hell. He giggled at me. "Lenny. Lenny's Dad? I talked to Leslie." "About..." I queried. "Us." Jason answered. "About us, and about Lenny. I'm so confused about it all myself...and confused even more about my Dad...(he swallowed hard and looked away for a second)...I just needed to sort some shit out, and he offered to help me if I had any questions. He said even if I thought they were dumb, or embarrassing...he said he wished he had someone to help him when he was a kid." Jason sighed deeply. I understood more clearly then. At least...I understood that Jason had as many questions as me...and that we could sort them all out together. We were going to be okay. Taking Jason's hand and holding it until he looked at me I said, "Jason, I love you. I love only you. I'll never love anyone as much as I love you ever in my whole life. I'm serious. We're way too young to know if we can always be together...I suppose we are anyway...but even if something happens tomorrow and we get pulled apart by people messing around in our lives...I want you to know you are my first love...my only love." My heart was racing like a kid about to take the plunge on a high-dive at the city pool. The excitement of what is to come propelling me on beyond my fears of what was about to come: a strange dichotomy of emotions beating in my heart at the same moment, competing for supremacy...but I could feel love conquering fear. I sensed Jason felt the same. We didn't cry (bet that amazes YOU...doesn't it?!!); we gazed in each other's faces for very long moments and slowly leaned forward and met in a very tender kiss. These lips were becoming very familiar – the softness, the contour, the way they felt under my lips – the way he pursed them when we touched them together...the taste of Jason. "So," Jason said to me as we broke off our kisses, I was dreamily savoring the kisses, eyes closed, breathing heavy. "So...I suppose a tiny bit of fooling around with Len is ok...but only him...and only just a little bit. But...no...you know...no..." and he held up his hand and made a gesture with his index finger impaling his circled fist on the other hand – I completely knew what he meant...no fucking Lenny. I was relieved. In a way...looking back...I wanted Jason to tell me no. I wanted him to feel what we have is special enough to restrict to between the two of us only. I wanted him to give me the cover to be strong enough to resist what I knew Lenny would try (or I assumed Lenny would try...try to get me back inside him again. This way I had both...a reason to say no - because of how I felt about Jason...that he felt it too...and a way to be strong to say no to Lenny because Jason wanted me to say no. Now I wanted to cry again...but didn't. So...no screwing around with this little nymph...but a bit of fun was safe territory! God. I'm gonna love being gay...I can already tell this beats the hell out of straight - nine ways to Sunday! We walked to the beach – Lenny and I – it was pleasant enough weather, and being out of the house was actually a great relief. Mom and Dad had tried for days to get me to snap out of my funk and to go mess around with my other friends...but Lenny was the first to actually motivate me to do so. We talked as we walked. Occasionally we would bump into one another as we were walking so close together. Most of the way, Lenny played with my hand as we walked. I guess you'd all it holding hands...but it was the sort of thing a little kid does absent mindedly with someone he is totally comfortable with. Thinking that thought brought a smile to my face – thinking that despite all that we'd all been through these past very turbulent days...Lenny was comfortable with me. I like holding hands with him. In fact, I stopped once, pulled him to me and kissed him full on the lips right there before God and everyone! The look on his face was priceless. He barely stopped talking between the pause and kiss...but the look in his eyes told me he was reading my mind and was happy to make me happy. *Sigh* More walking, hand in hand. More incessant gibberish and babbling from him...I zoned out. I know I was out in outer space somewhere, because felt him squeeze my hand and pull my arm a bit to get my attention. I hadn't heard a word he'd said in a while I guess. "Dufus," he said, waving a hand in front of my face to get my attention, "Earth to Dufus...Come in Dufus!" he giggled. Blinking my eyes back into focus I looked at his smiles and dimples and grinned back at him. "Sorry." "What `cha thinkin?" he asked in a little boy sort of way. "Nuttin," I answered absent mindedly as I turned to continue our trek to the beach. By now, I had begun to get pretty warm, so I tugged my tee-shirt up and over my head and tucked it into the waist band of my board-shorts. I had on tennis shoes with no socks. Lenny had already beaten me to that point and we looked like brothers walking down the lane together. I kinda like it, I smiled again at how others might be seeing us as we plodded along – two care free boys, enjoying a warm summer day, not a care in the world – if only that last part were true. Damn...my mind was all over the board...I wonder if I'm going crazy...how would I know if I were? Dos a crazy person know they are crazy? How do they figure it out if they do? God. Lenny nudged me in the ribs, reminding me there was yet an unanswered question between us. I looked at him, he had the "Well...I'm waiting!" look on his face. I giggled at him and nudged him back. "Oh...I dunno...shit, Lenny. I. I'm just so confused right now...is all." I didn't want to bring him down with my longings and yearning for Jason. I was so tired of missing Jason already, and he'd only been gone from me two weeks! That made me feel guilty. I should be more patient – but I was wrapped in the selfish need to hold him, to kiss him...to love him again. I kicked a medium sized stone as we walked. Lenny held my hand tighter...he even pulled it over to the front of himself in a protective sort of way. I could tell his mind was racing with just what to say to me...but I also know that there just wasn't much he could say to comfort me just then. "Why did he have to go?" Lenny asked very quietly – as if just posing he question might cause me to break down or something. I shrugged my shoulders. Tears threatened to overwhelm my senses again...for the zillionth time in two weeks. I swallowed and blinked - willing them back to their silent bed buried deep within the confines of my eyes. They didn't want to obey my command...but I'd made a promise and I was determined. The tears receded. "Please," Lenny begged tenderly, "I haven't heard exactly what is going on." He looked at me to see if he could read something in my body language to satisfy him that I was going to answer. Sighing deeply I gave in. I stopped walking and turned to face him. Lenny stood up on the curb, I stood down on the road's pavement. I hadn't realized that the difference in our heights was only a curb's distance. Somehow, I thought I was much taller than he; but, obviously we were now eye to eye...so my since of spatial perception is wacked – or Lenny has been growing. He's patiently waiting for me to say something. I can't talk about it. It hurts to goddamed much. I open my mouth – no words come out. Lowering my glance to my shoe tops, I try again – no better luck. My shoulders heave slightly. Two weeks of strength-training to prevent tear-flow is wasted – In mere seconds I'm a blathering idiot – but at least I am one wrapped in the arms of a friend who really cares. There on the side of the street, though not very busy or crowded, stand two boys embracing; one crying and the other comforting. I imagine we were a spectacle. The local gay-bashers missed a prime chance to bash some brains. Eventually, Lenny managed to get me to turn to the right and begin our walk again. I felt awkward and wanted to turn back to his embrace again, but he wouldn't let me. I was too overwhelmed to resist him. Soon enough, though, he had lead me to a nearby bus-stop bench and made me sit with him. I can't honestly say I remembered a bench being there ever before – I see I was wrong – `cause my ass isn't floating here in space. I calmed down a bit, and realized we were cuddling together in public...I didn't particularly care just then though. Lenny was being so...so...what I needed just now. He amazes me yet again. "When that creep raped him," I managed to say finally, "he messed with Jason's mind. That is what my Dad and his Mom says. Daddy said that Jason couldn't possibly just `get over' this...not without some serious and trained help. Dad says that holding that shit up inside you just eats away at you like a cancer. He said that sooner or later it gets so built up inside a guy that eventually it all just comes out – but that if that happens and you aren't prepared to handle it well...that Jason could end up hurting himself...or others the very same way. Dad told me that kids who are abused often abuse others." Lenny said nothing, only sat there rubbing my back in attempts to show solidarity. I don't know if he was understanding all I was saying. It all just came flooding out though. "See...me and Jason had sex a couple of times after me and you did. And every time it was so...so...ummm...well, it's hard to put into words. It didn't feel like sex, Lenny." I looked at the sweet blond headed boy beside me – he is definitely a boy I could love...I mean...I DO love...but not the same as Jason. *Sigh* Lenny nodded in response this time. "It was more than sex. It was `special.' Being with Jason like that made me feel like I was finally okay. Like...like what I was missing all this time was now there...not there...here," I said as I tapped my chest slightly. I sighed deeply and pushed back on the bench. I was slightly amazed that my feet didn't touch the ground when I was all the way pushed back into the back of the bench. I guess that is one of those milestones a kid always yearns to reach...being able to touch the floor with your feet when sitting on a church pew, or park bench. The realization that I couldn't reach the ground made me feel incredibly small somehow. I shrugged it off though, too much other shit to worry over how damned tall I am right now. "After we...ummm...did it, we like talked. I've never ever know Jason to be so affected by anything Lenny. I mean. This has been eating at him a long while, I guess. I was spooned up beside him, had him all cuddled up. We were laying on our sides and I could feel his whole body tremble when he talked about how all that other stuff made him feel. He said it made him feel all confused about what was `right." He wants to be `normal' and like girls – but every time he thinks of sex, all he thinks about is being with Mason and Cody. He said it's like permanently stuck in his brain or something. "Only...ummm...he said that the only time he thought about sex and didn't think about what happened was when me and him did stuff together. Even so, at night, when me and him weren't sleeping together (I blushed at that statement...but somehow managed to keep talking) and he jacked – all that shit keeps coming right back to his brain." I sighed again really big, and turned to put one leg up on the bench to face Lenny. He turned in a similar way, though we continued to hold hands between us. "Jason's told me he is afraid that he will get all twisted up in his mind and could hurt someone like Cody hurt him. I told Jason he was crazy to think that...I KNOW Jason...I know he could never hurt someone...especially like that. Well, Jason said that his problem was that something made Cody snap. He said that Cody was just a normal kid once upon a time...and that something made him just go crazy over sex...so crazy that he hurt other people just to make himself feel good. That is what scares Jason. He doesn't want to hurt people. It was so terrible in his own experience that he wants to make sure he never does that to someone else. "Put that crap together with the thoughts of maybe being gay...well, he was just about to go berserk in his mind. He was getting all sick inside himself with worry and grief over all this. I told him he had to talk to his Mom...or my Dad...somebody." Finally I stopped talking ad just sat there in the morning sun and cool breeze with Lenny and let all just hang in the air. ""Liam?" Lenny asked in hushed tones after some long delay, "Umm...so...I get it that he was all confused and hurting on the inside...I mean...I am confused a lot of the time myself. Me and my Dad talked a whole lot about how I feel about boys...about being...gay. But, why did Jason have to go to rehab?" Lenny's face was screwed with concern and confusion. "Is being gay something you have to get over? Is what we...what I feel inside wrong? I don't get it." A light went off in my head then. Lenny thought Jason "HAD" to be sent away...or had been "TAKEN" away! He thought Jason was in trouble. Shit. I hadn't even thought about him thinking that way. I was so close to the decision and decision making process that I just knew what had happened. I have to fix this quick. "No, no!" I jumped in quickly, "Lenny, no – Jason wasn't in trouble. Jason didn't get arrested or nothing like that." "But," he countered, "He went to a rehab place...isn't that where they take juvenile del...delinkets...or whatever?" I giggled at his stumbling over the word, though he was spot on with what he was thinking. He rolled his eyes at my laughter, but otherwise let me enjoy his youthfulness. "Delinquents," I corrected, but not too smartass like, "they're called juvenile delinquents." "Whatever," he shrugged. "No. I mean, yes. I mean...Grrrr. He did go to a facility that is for rehab for juvenile delinquents, but HE isn't a juvie. They also have group sessions for kids who are having problems...stuff like drug abuse, alcohol problems, behavioral problems...and even sex problems." "Oh," he said matter of factly. Then, raising is head quickly he added, "Does Jason have a sex problem, then?" "No," I said flatly. "Jason is confused. He was hurt...hurt bad. And he has to sort out how he feels about me and him too." "Oh." Silence "Liam?" he asked quietly. "Yea? "Ummm...I think...I ummm...Can I tell you something?" Lenny asked with his head down, his voice even lower than its normal sexy gravely state. "Dude," I punched him in the shoulder, "you just did!" I smiled warmly at him. I could tell whatever was on his mind was important, but I wanted to keep him comfortable. "Shut up," he quipped cheekily, but his smiles gave away his true feelings. "I'm serious though, I have something to tell you. "I know...Len – you can ask my anything in the world...or tell me anything. We're buds. Nothing you could ever say could change that." With that, I pulled him into a guy-hug and patted him warmly on the shoulder. We pulled apart so he could continue. "Do you remember when we all showered together?" he asked meekly. I nodded. "Well...ummm...me and Jason...I ummm. Well we..." he stammered. "Dude," I said as gently as I knew how to do, "I know that you two were going at it." He blushed. "I know you know," he sighed. But I gotta talk about it some, okay?" he asked in an almost whiny voice. I nodded for him to continue. "He was so...he looked so good with all the water dripping off him...I just couldn't help myself...I had to reach out and touch him. I don't think he wanted to do stuff with me at first...but I DID. I got on my knees and took his big...ummm...you know...and I put it in my mouth. I know me and you had already done stuff...and I loved it. I love you! But, Jason was just so..." he trailed off his thoughts. I could tell he was struggling with the propriety of his choices, but I'd also learned over the past few days that sometimes a guy just has to work things out in his own head...so I let him talk. He also was starting to sport some wood in his shorts...this could get interesting! (Sigh...I'm such a sex maniac myself!) *Good grief* "I loved to feel him in my mouth...knowing I could make him feel like that. When he started rocking back and forth, making his thing go deeper...he started groaning...I knew he was feeling really good. Then he put his hands in my hair and was holding my head...not mean like...but like he was...like he loved me. The water was coming down on me, his hands running through my hair...then I felt his thing get bigger and he started shooting cum in my mouth. I thought he was going to fall down, but he held on tight to me...that pushed his thing even deeper in my mouth. I could smell his...groin, his balls and stuff...his hairs down there. The soap, the water, the skin...the cum in my mouth...I was so horned up!" When you came in the shower...I was afraid you'd be mad at me...I think I woulda, had it been me." He looked up at me apologetically. I waited to answer so that there would be no misgivings about what I was about to say. Reaching out for his hand again, I pulled him over to me so sit right up beside me – my right arm draped over him in a "big brother' fashion. Breathing in a deep breath purposefully, and exhaling steadily, I took my time to be completely in control when I answered. "Len, I know what you two did. I was there. And, I KNOW...trust me...I KNOW Jason is a hottie! We really haven't had a chance to get e real go at it in the shower alone...I can't wait for that to happen though!" My face was awash with pleasure at the thought – Lenny beamed a knowing smile too. "What I'm saying is I don't think bad of you for doing that. We're all boys, we all know that we like doing things together...but most important – and this is V.E.R.Y. important – we're all friends." He smiled happily at that – but then a bit of darkness crept over his face. "But," he queried, "do you think I made him do that? Did I make things worser on him...I mean...with the way he's all confused and stuff?" It was the question of an innocent boy. His question showed his true heart - the heart of a tender kid who would rather die before he purposefully hurt his friends. I knew he was so proud and happy to have friends...to have me and Jason as friends. This must be the real question he had on his mind. "Well," I answered honestly, "first, Jason did what Jason wanted to do. Not too many people force him to do stuff he don't want to do." I paused a second to consider that Cody certainly did...but Jason was a lot younger, and weaker then. "Yea, I know – Cody forced him...but Cody was a bully. Cody was bigger, stronger, and older. Cody used blackmail too. He used fear against Jason. So, what you did didn't mean that Jason couldn't have just told you to stop. He could have made you get out! In fact, Jason could have kept you from getting IN the shower in the first place. "But, even so, doing stuff with you could be weighing on his mind. I mean. He WANTS to be straight, but he's had sex with four boys now: Mason, Cody, me, and you. That has to be adding up in his mind to mean that maybe he isn't straight. Trust me though...I don't mean this to sound harsh...but YOU aren't what's troubling him so much...it's me." A tear threatened me again...but I swallowed and forced myself to force it back into hibernation. Lenny looked up at me with confusion. "You?" he asked dubiously. "Me." I nodded conspiratorially...guiltily. "He loves me. I know that. He knows he loves me. He told me he loves me. Only...he says that he doesn't feel the same about every boy. He thinks he can only feel this way about me. Yea...what he did with you was hot – he liked it – we talked about it." Lenny blushed slightly. That hue was adorable on him – also so was the way his smile curled up at the corners when he was embarrassed sometimes. "Still...he says that he doesn't think he can do a lot of sex stuff...even with you." I punched him softly on the arm. We both smiled. "So," Lenny asked, "when is he coming back?" I sighed. Staring off into space, I finally stood up, held my hand out to him to help him up off the bench. Hand in hand, we turned to finish our trek toward the beach before I answered. Lenny was content to await my answer. "A month...he has to be there a month." "Cool!" Lenny skipped and jumped while holding on to my hand...he was so much a little boy then. "Cool? What's cool about a month!" I protested. "I' not finding it very cool," I pouted. "It's cooool...becauuuuse...that means only TWO WEEKS LEFT UNTIL HE'S HOME!" Lenny shouted and jabbed his fist in the air and beginning to jump and cheer. At our favorite spot on the beach we were greeted by several of the guy's They were all excited to see me come up, all of them were bummed out that Jason was gone. By this time, all of our group knew what had happened to him – they didn't talk about it where I could hear them, but I knew they knew. We al also knew what Will had been doing to Brant. I wasn't sure if they all knew about Ray and Brant – but they were all cool...very happy to have m there with them again. We all laughed and played and splashed. It was a welcomed relief to the stress of the last few days of missing Jason. About an hour after we got there, Brant came walking down the waterline towards us. Seeing him first, I nudged Lenny (who was nearly plastered to my side) and motioned down the beach toward Lenny's "boyfriend." He broke out in a huge grin, looked to me for approval – which I nodded to him – then he leapt up and ran to meet Brant. The two met and hugged and jumped up and down as if it'd been weeks since they last saw each other. They turned to wave at me, then walked off down the edge of the water, absent-mindedly holding hands at the fingertips all the while giggling and laughing and enjoying being together once more. I could definitely see the love between them. It made me happy to see them. Actually, this was a bit of relief to me. Lenny and Brant together made it easier for me to concentrate on Jason. I wonder what he is doing right now... Someone I didn't know was hanging out with Lenny and Brant. I couldn't be certain...something about him made me feel uncomfortable. Was I jealous? I shivered at the thought, and decided I had to get control of myself before I turned out to be someone no one wanted to be around. Still...I wonder if I should go check this dude out? I dunno... 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