Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2008 17:53:30 -0600 From: Andy Smith Subject: Asleep On The Beach - Chapter 25 Asleep on the Beach Chapter 25 When it Rains, It Pours Disclaimer: Please be advised that under aged youths are advised to not read this material, and indeed doing so may be illegal where you are -- so check your local laws first as there are sexual encounters ahead by youngsters in this story. If this offends you, perhaps you should not have read this far, and I certainly would not advise continuing further. Everyone else is welcome. Writer's notes: Lenny is not forgotten. Be patient, let the story develop. It's monumentally important that we take these next steps together. You've trusted me this far...hang just a bit longer. Any comments are welcome: prompt and courteous replies from: andyoutwest@live.com Chapter 25 When It Rains, It Pours. Big Jim Rose at the door was looking tired, frustrated, and weary. I could easily see emotional night had taken its toll on him. Even through the glass of the door I could see the dark circles and bags under his eyes, the unshaven face, the weariness. Seeing the hollowness in his face made me recall a passage of Scripture I'd picked up from somewhere in my church attendance..."their countenance doth witness against them..." Big Jim's face was telling off on him. Dad opened the storm door and welcomed Deputy Rose inside. Jim seemed reluctant to come in, as though the information he had to share might be too upsetting. Dad assured him there would be no peace in the house until Jason and I knew all the details anyway, so it was just best to get it out in the open. If the news was too drastic, at least he and Mom were there to help us sort it all out. "Okay," Jim said reluctantly, "I know you boys have already been through a lot, and have witnessed more than any l kids deserve already." He looked between Jason, Dad and me before beginning. "Actually, I'm here to talk to you boys anyway, so I'll start there. Let's all sit down, shall we?" He motioned towards the couch for Jason and I, I suppose he figured nobody was going to peal us apart anyway by the looks of how we were plastered together. He and Dad took chairs opposite us, Mom walked in and sat down beside me. I felt her hand gently rubbing my back in a very motherly manner...she could sense the news coming, of that I've no doubt. "Boys," Big Jim said after Mom settled in (and their adult politnesses taken care of), "First, let's talk about Brant." Jason and I both drew in sharp breaths. "No, no. It's okay, Brant is going to be okay. He is suffering from a couple of broken ribs," I winced at this news, knowing very well what kind of hella pain THAT was, "he has contusions on his face," Jason and I both looked immediately to Mom for an interpretation - `bruises' she mouthed silently. Big Jim sighed, "We believe he was raped as well." Silence. My heart pained. It's an odd sensation...that sinking feeling (sort of like the world has shifted or something, like your falling...only no one else is falling. I hate it...it almost always means something bad is happening...at least that's my experience anyway.). Jason's grip tightened on my hand...to the point of hurting me...I turned to look at him, Jason's face was getting very red...not with embarrassment, but in attempts to control his rage. He caught my glance, then my shifting eyes to our hands...he lessened the grip...the tiniest amount. "There was some head trauma as well," Jim added with great concern in his voice. "He made it through the night, seems to be functioning physiologically okay. He is responsive to normal stimulus...touch, light...movement. His vitals are normal for a kid who's been through what he has..." Jim let that settle in on us. "Also, we believe he was bound at the wrists by what appears to be duct tape. There are bruises and sticky residue left on his little wrists...that would explain part of the other bruising and evidence we've seen. He put up a hell of a fight for a little guy. Kid's got spirit, I can tell you that. "He's not given a statement. He remains completely silent about what happened. There is the look of trauma still very prevalent in his eyes. Mind you, I'm not doctor, or psychiatrist...but I have seen plenty of trauma in my carrier." He paused, I could see him reflecting on old memories, my mind wandered back to my dream of walking down corridors of memories lining darkened bookshelves...wondered what sort of dark memories lurched in the recesses of Big Jim's mind. I shuddered at the thought. That brought Jim back to the present. "Brant's Mother is with him," Jim said distractedly. Then, with more clarity and sense of purpose, to Jason and I, Jim asked, "Boys, the other night, back out at the beach...when Brant said the assailants were after you...what do you suppose he meant?" Memories of Jared lingering on the beach around Brant and Lenny popped into my mind. I shivered this time. Why the hell would they want to hurt me? I didn't do shit to them...THEY started the fight, not me! Swallowing twice before I could talk, I said, "Ummmm...I...ummm..." I sighed, gathered my thoughts and determination and continued, "the last time I saw Lenny and Brant...they were out on the beach, holding hands...all excited to see one another. They were going off down the beach to play...I saw someone with them...it was the younger of the two boys who beat me up a few weeks ago out at the ball fields. I couldn't place his face that other day when I saw him with Lenny...but last night I remembered his face. It was him. He may have lured Lenny and Brant aside in attempts to get me to come check on them." Fear was tearing at my emotions...as was a feeling of guilt for not protecting my Lenny, and Brant. But I swallowed both emotions back. "I can do this. I can be of use," I kept repeating to myself silently. "Yeah, Officer Hauk told me that much. Have you thought of any other clues that can help us?" I considered a moment before nodding negatively. "Officer Hauk and I both think it may do some good for you two to come by the hospital to see Brant. His Mom is there with him, she said she also thought seeing some other kids he is used to being with may help him feel safer. It is possible he may say something else to give us some help." Big Jim looked between the four of us for approval of the plan. Dad was first to respond, "We've already made plans to go see the boy this morning. We just finished with breakfast when you came up. Care for a cup of coffee while we finish getting ready? We'll all follow you back over to the hospital, it that's okay with you." "No, I appreciate the offer, but I have several things to run down, time is very critical at this juncture. I will meet you back at the hospital perhaps...but please, please...call me or Officer Hauk if you remember anything , anything at all. Don't worry about something sounding too simple, or irrelevant -- leave that decision up to us. Okay?" We all nodded ascent. He got up and moved to the door. "Right then, I'll be off...I'll look forward to hearing from you soon. Boys?" he looked directly at Jason and I, "I know you two are..." He started to just come out once blurt out that we are gay...but he caught himself and the look on his face was priceless. He wanted to warn us...but realized he might be just about to out us in front of our parents! His consternation was remarkably kind -- he is a kind soul, I can tell. "It's okay, Jim, my parents know about us," I offered. Jim was obviously relieved that he hadn't just put his foot in his mouth. "Well...the point is, I'm not worried at all about that...that you are...together. But, you two be careful out there...there are plenty of creeps in the world who need very little reason to perpetrate hatred and violence. Just be careful." He slipped out the door and we heard him walk to the squad car, heard the engine roar to life and Big Jim Rose hurried out of the drive and off to take care of his list of things. I hope he finds Lenny. He'll rip that sucker limb from limb. Of that, I also have no doubt. A walking giant of a man, Jim Rose is...a man who makes you feel at once safe, and scared shitless at the same time. Whoever did this had best be praying God doesn't let Big Jim at him first. Big Jim had barely made it out of the drive when we heard another car pull up. Dad looked out the window on the door. It was Coach Fowler! I felt better instantly. If there is a man outside my own immediate family (I suppose this also means Jason's Dad too) that makes me feel good, safe, loved, and special...it's Coach Fowler. No...he doesn't perv on us boys...he mentors us. He loves us. Tough as shit on us; demands excellence, settles on nothing that hard work -- but knows when we've given that to him. He's quick to lavish praise, and is quietly firm when we didn't. We've all grown to accept his authority over us...in nearly every aspect of our lives. He stopped the beating I was getting back at the ball field. He could have waited for a police officer to help...but not Coach Fowler. If one of his team was in peril...Coach didn't hesitate. Without hearing word one from him just now, I knew he'd come to help. And he WOULD help. Coach Fowler would be involved in the rescue of Lenny and nailing whoever did this deed. Jason and I smiled at each other, both instantly thinking the same thoughts -- up we jumped and ran to meet the coach. Bounding out the door, we quickly realized Coach had Ray with him. I went around greeting the Coach, and Jason went the other way to greet Ray. After the hugs, we all met at the front of Coach Fowler's car and changed places and greetings. I suppose it was the nature of the tragedy between us (members of our circle) that we were each so clingy...normally we didn't hug...but today we did without question, or reserve. It felt good to have them both here. Dad came out on the porch and greeted Coach Fowler. "Headed to the hospital to see Brant, wanted to stop and see if the boys wanted a ride," Coach told Dad. Dad rubbed his whiskers on his chin a second then replied. "Sure, that'd work out well. The boys are ready, and the Mrs. and I still need a few minutes. We'll be right on up behind you as soon as we get ready." Looking at Jason and I Dad added, "Boys, stay with Coach Fowler. DO NOT LEAVE the hospital...at all...with anybody. Got it?" I found this an odd statement...Dad hadn't spelled out rules like that to me in a long time. I guess he is feeling a bit paranoid because of what is going on. His reservation does cause me to ponder the possibility that I may indeed be a target of foul play. A sinking sensation settled in on my stomach. It just dawned on me how vulnerable I really am. I guess Dad could see the hesitation in my face. "Don't worry...you'll be safe enough with Coach Fowler around. Nobody will try anything with you as long as you are with him. He has all the contact information for Big Jim, and Officer Hauk. Coach Fowler and I have already been talking this morning." Dang...do these people ever sleep? With that assurance, I nodded my agreement with the situation and before I knew what was happening we were all in Coach Fowler's car and backing out of the drive. Just as Coach was checking over his shoulder for a clear lane, a big Hummer with flat-black paint pulled up beside the mailbox. A uniformed man climbed out of the Hummer...It was Jim Lawler, Jason's Dad! In a flash, Jason was out of Coach's car and nearly tackled his Dad as he came around the front of the Hummer and stepped up on the lawn. I was hurrying to catch up to Jason, knowing the elation and joy pumping through Jason just now, but I was so afraid of what his dad's reaction and reception of Jason was going to be. I actually had zero chance of intervening should something have gone wrong...but tell that to a 14 year old rushing to his best friend's side. Coming up on then just as Jason reached his Dad, I saw the tiniest of hesitation on Jim's face (I know now his hesitation was regarding the uniform, and not the boy...back then I wasn't sure). But, Jim reached out and scooped Jason up in his arms and swung him around in a big bear hug like he used to do when me and Jason were kids. My eyes were watering when I saw it...you just can't know how happy I was that Jim hugged Jason. If Jason ever in his life needed a hug from his Daddy...it was at this very moment. God. I suppose He (God) does exist after all. I could feel my own smile spread out upon my face, my heart felt as warm as the sunshine beaming down upon me. I got to them and grabbed them both around the middle so we were all in a group hug. As Jim set Jason back on the ground, he reached his arms around us both and we stood there and held one another. "Dad! When did you get here? How did you know to come? Oh...Dad...I've missed you so much! Gosh, what a cool Hummer! Where'd ya get it?! Can we have a ride in it?" Jason cried and spewed words so fast we could hardly understand him...totally uncharacteristic of Jason. Normally, Jason was emotionally reserved with EVERYONE, including public displays of affection to/from his parents. His guard was totally down. I suppose it was because his need was so great. Jim had the biggest grin on his face, evidentially he was as concerned about what kind of reception he'd get from Jason as I was about him! He was definitely eating up the blatant affection coming from his only son. "Hey, Bud! I just got in...your Mother called me as soon as she knew there was trouble brewing...I pulled rank and hoped a MAC (military air command) flight. I just got here a few minutes ago. Colonel Brandy at the base is a good friend of mine and he let me use his Hummer out of the motor pool so I wouldn't have to wait around at the airport trying to arrange a last minute rental." Releasing us both, Jim herded us toward the house, where by now everybody in the house was on the porch waiting to greet Jim. Coach Fowler and Ray were also out of the car now and waiting to greet him as well. Everybody was excited to see Jim back, and that he had seemed to work through his issues with having a gay son...at least at this very minute all seemed to be worked out. Jason's Mom and Dad hugged and kissed each other lightly on the lips. They exchanged a volume of dialogue between them via eye contact without uttering a single word. I guess I am becoming something of an expert at reading body language between people. Dad told Jim that Jason and I were about to head to the hospital with Coach and Ray, and that he should come on in and let him get caught up on all the latest news. Dad shooed us all away then, so we all headed back to get into Coach's truck. Jason peeled away and ran back up on the porch and grabbed his Dad in a hug one more time. Jim hugged him up tight and kissed the top of his head, and let Jason hold on for as long as he needed. Jason looked up at his father's face, tears were running down his cheeks, "I was so afraid you h.hated me." Jason buried his face back in his father's chest. Jim lowered himself down to be cheek to cheek with Jason. He kissed Jason's cheek and hugged him even tighter. "Son...Jason...I've never hated you. I was just so angry, I was so upset with myself for not being there to protect you. Looking at you - I saw pain that was my fault...at least that's what I felt like. We'll talk about all this later, Son. I don't understand everything you are going through, but we'll figure out a way to get through it all...together." He pulled away from Jason, gripped his shoulders at arm's length, looking his son full in the face. "Right now, you have a friend who needs you. You go see to him. Man up now. Time for men's work. You go with Liam, and bring me back a full report. Got it soldier?" Jason beamed at him, and stood all the straighter. He snuck in one more hug then bounded to the Coach's car in only three or four steps. Just as he reached for the door handle (I had already flung the door open for him and was waiting for him to slide in) Jason turned back to his father and hollered, "When do we get a ride?" as he thumbed over his shoulder to the Hummer. The smile on his face was the old Jason smile...a bit of a smirk, a touch of boyishness, a whole lot of sexy... Shit! I love this sooooo much! Seeing Jason happy like this almost makes me forget what the hell we're about to do...almost. "When you two get back we'll go for a short spin...can't go joy riding in a military vehicle...but we'll make a small exception. I'm sure I can find some `company' business to attend too. See you in a few, Son...now get on with yourself!" Jim waved Jason into the car. He tumbled in and settled in and put on the seat belt, Coach pulled out of the drive...tooting the horn as he pulled away. I glanced up to see if the coach was looking...he wasn't, so I quickly pulled Jason's face to mine and kissed him on the lips. I was soooo happy for him...his Dad was back! Things could get back to normal. There was a sifting and rustling sound coming from the front seat. Coach cleared his throat. Damn! Busted! Shit. "Best be saving that for the bedroom, I suspect," Coach said with his Texas drawl, while looking at me through the mirror. I turned a hundred shades of red. "Don't be so surprised, boys," he said, glancing at us over his shoulder. "I know more about what goes on between you boys than you'd `spect. Not much gets past me." He looked over at Ray, "not much at all." It was Ray's turn to turn red. Wonder what that is about? Nothing else was said about such matters. Jason and I held hands, but kept them discreetly down low on the seat between us, covered mostly by our legs pressed together. Jason and I kept glancing at each other and smiling like little school girls. Both of us too excited at seeing Jim back, and I suppose there was a wave of relief that Coach knew something about us but still hadn't kicked us out of the car. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad...maybe. I could see Ray glancing up at the rearview mirror at the two of us, but he would quickly avert his eyes when he saw me catching him...he never turned around to look at us or talk to us the whole way. I wonder if he saw anything. Shit, one more problem to sort out. I hate this secrecy thing. Is there ever an end to it? Why can't I just love who I love? My mind was swimming with thoughts, and emotions. It barely registered on me when we pulled into the hospital parking lot. We found out at the information desk that Brant was still in intensive care. Only two people at a time could go back to see him. The nurse said only family could go in to see him, but I'll be damned if they were going to keep me out of the room. Coach took things into his own charge and told the nurse he'd go in and see the boy first. He told us to wait there in the waiting room and that he would send for us to come in to see him in a few minutes. Ray, Jason, and I found a place to sit and wait. There weren't any chairs too close together, as each of them had a table between them, so Jason and I had to sit apart. We were just about to sit close to one another, but Ray jumped between us, so we had to settle for what was available; Jason on the left, Ray in the middle, and miserable me on the right. Damn. Neither of us said anything for what seemed like FOREVER. The waiting room was eerily quiet. No one else was in there at the moment, and the TV was off. We all sat around with this awkward, and uncomfortable silence. Ray broke the silence first. "Dude, did you just kiss Jason on the lips back in the c.car?" he asked incredulously. I could feel my ears move, and my face grow red. "How'd you know?" I asked with a panic. "Ummm...I was looking in the side mirror...I could ummm...see you doing something, so I turned to look at you...I saw it," Ray said apologetically, as if he were invading our privacy or something. I guess he was...but WE were the ones doing it...no...I WAS the one doing it in public. Shitshitshit! Jason stood, walked over to me, took my hand and pulled me up to a standing position. "No," Jason said, looking over his shoulder toward Ray, "I kissed Liam on the lips." Then he proceeded to REALLY kiss me...on the LIPS...in FRONT of EVERYBODY...okay...just in front of RAY...but it felt like the whole world was looking on. (no...he didn't kiss me in the car, I kissed HIM...this was Jason's way of dealing with shit...straight on, full tilt, no backing up). Damn! My eyes closed and I could feel his presence on my lips...my god how I love those soft lips. Just a taste of his tongue, a flicker, then it was gone...Jason pulled away, I sighed and then opened my eyes... "Damn..." Ray whispered as he let his breath out. "You have a problem with this?" Jason asked Ray. Our hands touching slightly between us, hanging low...I wanted to grab Jason's business...but knew better. Wrong place, wrong time. "Wha...umm...I...ummm...No! No. I...I'm just...It's cool. I just never expected something like this from...well...you...or him either!" Ray was wide-eyed. I could see his nostrils flaring. He was breathing vey shallowly, as if about to hyperventilate. "I mean...my god...you just..." "We don't want the whole world to know," Jason said to Ray. "I guess it's cool that you know now...I hate keeping something like this behind your back. You have always been a great friend for me and Liam...and if anyone in the world hates us about how we feel...well...it'd be the shits if you hated us." "I...ummm...I d.don't hate y.y.you," Ray was stammering. Something big was whirling around in his head. I wondered if we'd really ever know. "Thing is...I...ummm..." he struggled, but was interrupted by the swinging doors opening and Brant's Mother and Coach Fowler walking out. Coach Fowler held the door open, looked over his shoulder to see if the nurse was watching...she wasn't, so he motioned all three of us to follow him. Brant's Mom went to sit and wait for us in the waiting room, but as she passed she cupped each of us boys by the cheek and whispered "Thank you so much for coming to check on my Brant." She had been crying, and looked very tired. We made our way back to the glassed in ICU room Brant was in. We three boys went inside while Coach Fowler stopped at the nurse's station and said something very quietly to the charge nurse. She smiled, nodded approval, and went back to messing with her stack of papers and files on the desk thingy where she was working. Brant looked like shit. God. My knees buckled slightly once again at the sight of him. Brant; amazing, sweet, innocent, little Brant had been beaten to shit. Who would do this? Whatever else was going through my mind...all of it vanished instantaneously at the sight of this small battered boy. Time had caused the bruising and abrasions to swell and turn purple. There was an IV in his arm, and some wires taped to his chest and one on his finger that had an eerie red glow to it. There were a couple of monitors by his bedside flashing numbers with some moving graphs on them. I knew most of this stuff was just monitoring shit, but it all looked pretty scary anyway. Instead of wearing one of those irritatingly immodest hospital gowns like the normal way...you know...with your butt cheeks shining for all to see...gosh...who was the perv who invented that shit anyway? Brant had on some flannel pajama bottoms (and I could easily tell he had on tighty-whities under the pajamas), but no tee-shirt. He had on a hospital gown, but the front was open instead of the back, and we could see his frail, pasty pale upper torso...that is why I knew there were wires taped to his chest. I could also tell that they had bandaged his ribs with ace-bandage type stuff...not much they can do with broken ribs. I know now that most of the time they don't even bandage them...but I guess they did for him because he was so small...I dunno. Brant's hair was plastered to his forehead, and looked terribly dirty still. He'd obviously not had a shower. Knowing that made me instantly angry...didn't they know the first thing a kid would want after what he's been through was a shower?! I mean...for chrimeny's sake! Damn. Poor Brant. My heart was hurting just looking at him. Ray and Jason were both pale as ghosts as they peered in at Brant. I saw tears in Ray's eyes. He stepped over to Brant and took his hand in his own (the one without the IV). Up to this point Brant had his eyes closed. I was afraid he was dead, the monitor indicated his heart was beating...but one could hardly believe it by looking at the sleeping shell of a boy. Feeling Ray's touch, Brant opened his eyes, and turned his head toward the side where Ray was standing. At first there was no recognition registering on Brant's face. Then, slowly, after blinking a couple of times he began to realize who was holding his hand. Immediately upon understanding who was holding his hand, Brant tried to sit up in the bed. He acted like he wanted to hug Ray...but his sore ribs instantly rebelled at his motion and he collapsed back onto the bed with a great whimper of pain. Ray responded instantly and reaching around the small frame of Brant scooped him up into a gentle hug, his face in the crook of the smaller boy's neck. He was crying now. Ray was. Tears leaked from my face too. This was just too damned hard...to painful...only an un-human could have kept a dry eye just then. I looked over at Jason, he'd scooted back against the glass wall of the ICU room and had slunk down the glass wall to the floor. His elbows were on his knees, and his head in his hands. I was torn between which boy needed me most just then...damn. Being responsible is hard as shit. "I'm sooooo sorry little man," Ray was whispering over and over to Brant. I could tell they were both crying, and seemed to be totally un-aware of anyone else in the room, or the world for that matter. I walked over to Jason, turned, and sat down on the floor beside him. I didn't want to invade his space...but wanted him to know I was there for him if he needed me. I placed my hand on his middle thigh, and just patted him tenderly, and waited. He leaned slightly over to my side and propped himself up on my shoulder and sighed very deeply. Before I knew what he was doing, Jason had turned and put his arms around me and was crying into my neck. No words spoken...none needed. He was reliving some very painful shit, and was angry, felt guilty...nearly all the same stuff I was going through...except that I had never... *Sigh* "Why, God. Why is this happening," I thought to myself. I just sat there and let my Jason pull strength from me, I cradled him as best I could from that position. It felt good though. Really good; this being of use. Usually, I was the one borrowing strength from Jason. It felt so good to be of help to my Jason for a change. Sitting there, I realized that I had strength to give...and if I have strength to give away...I AM indeed stronger than I thought I was. This feels good, damned good. Not that I mean there was ANYTHIG good about Brant being hurt...or Lenny...I'm talking about me being of help to my Jason...that felt good. Eventually, I realized that Brant was talking now, more like whispering to Ray. I nudged Jason, he looked up at me. Without hesitation I leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Brant's awake," I said and nodded toward the rolling bed. Jason and I struggled to help each other rise, and we moved to the opposite side of the bed from Ray. "Hey, Brant," I said quietly as he looked over at me and Jason as we approached the bedside. He tried to smile, but the bruises and cuts on his face made it hard to do. I could definitely relate. "Don't try to smile...it hurts like hell." My eyes beamed at him, as I reached out and gently patted his shoulder. His skin was cold and clammy. My instinct was to jerk my hand away...but I managed to not let myself do that. "Hey, Lil' Dude," Jason patted Brant's leg, and left his hand upon his thigh. Ray wiped tears from his face and smiled at the two of us. "I guess you think I'm gay now too?" "It don't matter none. Are you?" Jason asked Ray. "I..." Ray looked down at Brant, then shrugged his shoulders. "I really don't know...and I...uhhh...don't think now is the best time to talk about this." He looked back up at Jason and me with pleading in his eyes. Jason looked him dead in the eyes, a long time, keeping Ray's gaze locked onto his...then he nodded and the tension passed. Shifting the focus away from an awkward situation, I cleared my throat, getting both of their attention, and nodded down to Brant who had tears rolling down his face, and his lips were quivering. "I agree, this isn't the time." I said firmly. Leaning over Brant I got his attention by putting my face into his line of sight. "Brant, Buddy, it's okay. We're all here for you. Nothing bad is going to happen to you now. The three of us will protect you. "Look, Brant, we need to know...I need to know if you feel up to talking about what happened to you? I know it's scary...I can't imagine what you've been through..." I said very quietly. I waited for some sort of sign from him to let me know if I should go on. He took his free hand and wiped at his tears. He looked so much the small frail child that he was with that action: like a little kid wiping tears. I felt my own lips quiver at the sight. I'm just a softie on the inside. But I have to be strong -- I keep telling myself that, over and over -- be strong. Brant nodded ever so slightly...he wanted to tell us something. "How did you know Jared," I whispered as I leaned closer in to him. He shrugged. "It's important, Brant," I said as tenderly as I knew how, "we have to find him...we have to know how he found you...to do...this...to you." I was trying my best to be gentle with him, but I knew it was still hard as shit for him to deal. "Did you know him? Have you met him before the other day when he talked to you and Lenny out at the beach?" Brant's eyes widened...he didn't know I saw that. He nodded. "Yeah," he whispered. "It was all my fault," he said as he scrunched his face around the inevitable tears. "Shhh," Ray soothed, "No, no, no. None of this is your fault." Brant nodded forcefully up and down. "Yes, yes...I did it." "What? You did what?" I asked softly. Ray shot me a killer look like he would not stand for me asking shit like this. "Ray," I said with patience, and hopefully with consideration for Rays protective instincts, "we have to know...it's the only way we'll find out who did this...who might have Lenny." This time the pleading was in my own eyes. Ray, had, I suppose decided I was right, as he gently sat on the side of the bed, Jason remained standing at the boy's side with his hand still comforting his thigh. "I met him on-line...in a chat room." "Jared...you met Jared in a chat room?" Brant nodded. We waited for him to continue. "Well, every since my brother Will got sent away, ummm...well...I started looking at his computer see...he ummm...he has lots of porn and stuff on there...and well...I ummm..." Brant was uncomfortable with what he was about to say. I was about to try to comfort him, but Ray beat me to it, "Look Lil' Dude, it's okay. None of us will say anything to get you in trouble...I mean...we won't be busting your balls about stuff. Don't worry about what you have to say...it'll be okay...me, Jason, and Liam will still be your friends tomorrow no matter what you say right now. Right guys?" Ray asked looking to Jason and me. We both nodded. Brant swallowed, and closed his eyes. A tear fell from both eyes as he did so. "I wanted to know if there were other boys out there who felt like I do." Brant said keeping both eyes closed, a steady stream of tears pouring out of them. "Will used to make me look at pictures of..." he blushed. Ray and I patted his arm and shoulder so he kept going. "I found this chat room...it was supposed to be for teenagers who wanted to talk about gay sex...no adults allowed. I knew Will's pass code, so I typed it in and there I was in the chat room. I had lots of fun. There were all kinds of boys...mostly they were way older than me. Like...I dunno...15 and stuff." Brant opened his eyes. I handed him a tissue from the box by his bedside table. He took it and wiped his tears. "This one boy said he was my age...said he was 12. I know...I'm only 11, but that is way closer than 15. So, we kept talking...he was super nice, he said he wanted to meet me. I told him I couldn't do that. He said I could bring a friend with me so it would be safe." Brant grew painfully quiet. We all knew he saw the lie for what it was. A dastardly lie. From a predator. One who meant him harm, not good. It didn't need to be said...we all knew it...especially Brant. Any adult in the room would have spazed to hell and back at this news...the three of us just waited for Brant to continue. "He t.told me to b.bring my friend with me. I told him I didn't have a friend. He said, `Sure you do...Ray...Jason...Liam...Brant.' I wanted to know how he knew that...it scared the bejeebers outta me. He said not to worry, but that he knew I was Ray's little brother. He said Ray had told him all about the team, every one of his friends...that he felt like he was part of the group. I wanted to know how he knew who I was...he said he knew Will was away...and that I would be the only one logging in to that sight with Will's name besides Will. He said that he liked Lenny, because he said Lenny and he were the same age." Brant laid his head back on the pillows, closed his eyes, and continued with his eyes closed. No more tears at this point, only the very tired, sad, and dejected voice...the voice of a defeated boy. He looked up at Ray, "I was too embarrassed to ask you," he whispered. Ray stood up and patted him very tenderly on the cheek. "I...I wish you had little man...I wish you had. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, Lil' Dude." Tears dropped from Ray's eyes onto the bandages on Brant's chest. Ray looked up at Jason and me. Sighed, then looked back at Brant. "Me and...ummm...Lil' Dude here have sorta messed around a little bit." Ray's cheeks went blood red with embarrassment. Jason and I looked at each other, what Lenny had told us flashed across our minds...we both thought exactly the same thing at the same time...now was not the time to even bring it up...dunno if it would ever be right to mention. We nodded silently to each other...silence is golden. Looking back to Ray we both shrugged our shoulders. To us, this wasn't a big deal...news that RAY may be leaning our way definitely IS news...but just two guys messing around with each other is no big deal. We wouldn't take the bait...we let it slide past. For now. "I was afraid that you...might get mad at me for...you know...talking to other kids about this kind of stuff," Brant whispered to Ray. I patted Brant's upper arm and asked him, "Brant, are you gay?" Brant shrugged his shoulders, "I dunno." His spirits were very fragile at this point. I felt Like I needed to help him out some. "Brant, look at me, Bud." He looked over at me, fresh tears rolling from his eyes. "Jason and I are in love with each other." I reached for Jason's hand and he came to stand beside me and snuggled beside me with an arm around my waist. We held hands, looked at each other with knowing smiles, then I looked back to Brant. He was blinking in disbelief. Ray was still a bit taken back...even though he'd seen us kiss earlier...he was still having problems getting a hold of this new revelation. "So...it don't matter none to us if you are...or aren't. I know about Lenny too. I have already guessed you and him were messing around a little." Brant's eyebrows raised, and his nostrils started flaring. "Don't worry...your secret's safe with us...all of us...right?" Both Ray and Jason nodded. "Okay," Brant said thoughtfully, "ummm...thanks." "You asked Lenny to meet you out there that day then didn't you?" I asked, entirely non-combatively, and without judgment in my voice. I know that is how it came across, because that is how I meant it. This was a revelation, not a condemnation. That is why Lenny came to get me out of bed that morning. That is why he wanted to go to the beach. He knew Brant would be along...and he wanted me there for a comfort zone. My heart sank instantly. I'm the one who let Lenny down. He brought me out to protect him, but I let him go off to the slaughter. DID I JUST SAY THAT!!!!!!!!!!! Shit. I nearly choked on my own spit...I could feel hyperventilation coming on again. Jason just squeezed my hand tenderly, rubbed my back with his other hand, and brought me back under control. I don't know how he does that. My near panic attack under control, I realized Brant had picked up on my fear. "You know I don't think you did anything wrong. You know that...right?" I asked. He didn't respond at first. "I just thought we could find someone like us...someone we could...ummm...I dunno...it just seemed like it would be so much fun is all." Brant sniffed. "So...Jared shows up, but he is way older than you thought...that's why you was scared...right?" Brant nodded. "He said he wanted to meet all my friends...wanted to know where YOU were." Brant looked straight at me. "Lenny grabbed my arm and started taking me away when he said your name. Lenny called him a `feakin homo,' and made me walk away from him." My heart fluttered. Lenny was trying to protect me! "Ummm...do you think we could find him on-line again?" Jason asked. "I...I guess so..." Brant said, obviously uncertain of what Jason had in mind. Looking at me and Ray, Jason told us what was on his mind, "Look, if the three of us make a plan to meet up with him, but he only thinks it's gonna be one of us, maybe we can get him off balance and nab him or something. What do you think?" The question was directed at both, but neither of us directly. "Stupid as shit," I said. "What if he's holding Lenny, what then? How would we find Lenny? We couldn't make him talk...what could we do? We need to turn him in to the police...or he's probably never gonna talk...we could get Lenny killed. Shit...I dunno what to do...but we're kids...we can't do this by ourselves. I think we have to call detective Hauk and Big Jim and tell them what we know." Jason sighed, "Yeah...I know you're right...but I'm mad as shit. I just have to do something." "analord28," Brant whispered, "that is Will's user name. Password is 12231993." His crimson face left little to the imagination as to what the password might refer too. "12231993?" I asked curiously. "Will's birthday. December 23, 1993." "Ahhh...got it." While we all were considering just what all this meant to us, and what we should do about it, the door opened and in walked Coach, Officer Hauk, and Big Jim. Coach spoke up, motioning for all us boys to come with him, he said, "Come on boys...looks like our little ball player is awake. These guys have a few questions...let's go back to the waiting room before Attila the Hun comes in and runs us out," the smirk on his face let us know he was teasing about the nurse...but we knew the business at hand was serious and we needed to let the police have their time. I just hoped Brant would open up to them a bit and give them some information. As we shuffled around the bed to leave the room, we all stopped and told Brant goodbye. Ray and Brant gripped hands tenderly, but said nothing. Ray put Brant's hand back on the bed, patted his forearm lovingly, and walked out with us. All of us were drawing deep breaths as we walked down the corridor. This had been a huge emotional experience for us. Jason was no doubt in turmoil over the rape and all the baggage associated with that. I was torn up about Lenny...well...we all were...but I'm the one who was intimate with Lenny. I felt responsible for him. I brought him into our circle...and may be the reason he was in this mess afterall. Ray...Ray was seething over Brant. ~0~~0~~00~~0~~0~ Monday was an absolute blur. Our first day at the new High School. Jason and I rode to school together in his Mom's car. Jim drove us. We went in and got our schedules and found out that we had several classes together...including home-room. I breathed a sigh of relief. I could do this if Jason we going to be with me. New school. New-found homosexuality that was now open...no...I'm not a "new" gay kid...but you know what I mean...all these years of NOBODY knowing how I felt...now it seems the whole damned world knows. Everybody but these stupid shitheads at school. All the hustle and bustle going on the hallways, millions of kids...everywhere...such a much bigger campus than our Jr. High...I wonder how many gay kids are walking these halls right now as scared shitless as me? How many of these bruising looking upper-classmen are homophobes? How long can Jason and I stay under their radar? Which one of these brutes will want to re-arrange my face for me? What will I do if one of them confronts me? Jason would just jump right in fists-a-flurry and discover whose face would be re-arranged by whom. He is just that kind of kid. But no one is going to pick on Jason. He seethes with self confidence. He's not significantly bigger than me...but I get picked on, he gets respected and left alone. Jason and I bumped shoulders as we checked each other's schedules. He looked up and grinned at me...he was as pleased as me about having so many classes together. His smile makes me feel better. Handing me back my schedule, he squeezed my hand and instantly had my attention. "I love you," he mouthed wordlessly. The intensity of his look, the warmth of his smile, the tenderness of his touch...he meant it. I felt his love. I need it. "Me to," I mouthed back. A slam to my back knocked me forward right into Jason. Backpacks flew skyward, scattered shit everywhere on the floor. Haven't a clue where my schedule ended up. I was enraged and embarrassed all at the same time. Getting knocked over caused me to bump my head on Jason's and it hurt like hell. I picked myself up, turned and was just about to tear a new asshole into whoever the hell just blindsided me when I saw who did it. I'm fucked. "Watch the fuck out, you bunch of pussies!" It was a massive football jock. Dunno how I knew it...I just did. Shit...I guess his tee shirt with "VARSETY" written on it would be a hint huh? I'm not the brightest bulb in the pack I suppose. "What the fuck are you jerkwads doing in the middle of the goddamned hall...kissing? Or what? Fuck!" He was mad. Non shit, huh? He was massively huge...steroids anyone? I found out later he was the starting defensive end on the varsity team. And a real shithead. That much I was already sure of. Jason bumped into me slightly as he pushed past to stand between Super-villain here and me. "Fuck-off asswipe," Jason said. Jason was half this fuckhead's size. Didn't matter, Jason wouldn't back down. "Watch the fuck what YOU'RE doing." Jason squared up and bowed up at the big kid. Shit. "Have you lost your mind you little faggot?" Mr. Obnoxious said angrily. "I'll kick your ass to hell and back you little cock sucker." Wham. Jason had bowed up and knocked the shit out of the big guy...square in the face. Oh hell. Our first day...wtf...our first HOUR! God, this is going to be a long year. Orochimaru grabbed his nose and backed up a couple of steps. When he pulled his hand away there was blood pouring from his nose and running down his hands. Girls screamed, kids circled in the time honored way of fights at school. I just knew we were about to get our asses handed to us on our very first goddamned day at our new school. But, there was no way in hell I wasn't going to go down with Jason. Shit no. Mess with my boy and you've got a fight on your hands. Besides, I was pissed as fuck about Brant...and Lenny. I was scared shitless about the new school, about someone finding out I'm gay...I looked at Jason and saw he was preparing for whatever Dr. Doom was about to dish out. I couldn't stand it. Enraged, I lowered my head, screamed the most blood curdling scream I have ever in my life heard and lunged forward. My scream made Godzilla-the-Football-Jock look puzzledly at me as I raced the few feet between us. In a blur of feet, fists, and elbows I plowed into Freekizoid. Before I knew it, the two of us were balled up in bundle of blood and fur rolling on the floor. Gaining position and leverage on me with his overwhelming size difference the big senior raised his fist menacingly. His other hand was around my throat, pinning my head to the floor, and he was sitting astraddle my midriff. This wasn't going to be good. Jason to the rescue...again. Jason grabbed the bigger kid's arm and had found some way to leverage his own body in such a way so that as he jerked back on the kid's arm he pulled the brute backwards. A sickening *crack* came from the boys shoulder as it came out of socket...Jason wasn't playing games. He' just messed Dr. Octopus' shoulder up big time. The whole circle of kids groaned in unison. Freekizoid turned instantly into Pussyboy. Now it was his screams bouncing off the tiled floors, wall lockers, and corridors. ~0~~0~~00~~0~~0~ Somehow, both of our fathers, Coach Fowler, Officer Hauk, and Big Jim were in the office talking to the principle and the superintendent of schools. There was a lot of yelling, a bunch of finger pointing and gestures. Nobody was happy. Jason and I were waiting outside the principal's office on a bench. My new school clothes were trashed. Alan, the kid who picked the fight in the hallway, had torn my shirt, and bled like a stuck pig all over me. Oh, forgot to tell you, didn't I? Right after Coach Fowler got us out to the waiting room on Sunday, Mom and Dad met us. Jason's folks were there too. They took us to the mall to get some school clothes. The past several days had left no opportunity for us to go before, and they said the distraction would be good for us all. It was. Jim said he had to "go to meet with the Recruiter at the mall office," so me and Jason got our ride in that unbelievably cool hummer. Not an H3, or H2. Not even an H1. But a real US Army Hummer! Killer. Awesome totally undershoots the coolness factor by ten gazillion. So...we got clothes...some of which were now ruined. The Football Coach and Principal came running down the hall to break up the fight that Jason had so aptly finished. Jason and I were jerked up by massive hands of the Coach. Roughly, he shoved us over to the principal's grasp after a lightning fast assessment that neither of us were seriously injured. "Alan, you dipshit, looks like these two little Fish (totally un-cool name pinned on all incoming freshmen in American high schools) busted you up nicely. By the looks of you I need them in your starting rotation spot...you won't be playing for me for a very long time, if ever. This was your very last chance to keep your hands to yourself." Coach pulled Alan to his feet...he still had blood pouring from his broken nose...but is shoulder was so seriously out of place everyone in 100 yards of him knew that was his real problem. Looked like it hurt like shit. Good. He deserved it. Coach looked over to me and Jason, "You two. Go get washed up, meet me in the office in two minutes. If you care to live to be old...don't even think of bugging outta here. Now scoot." He waved us off like flies or pests bothering a picnic. The principal wheeled us around at the Coach's prompt, and told the crowd, "break it up...move it on to your classes. You. And you. Come with me," he pointed at two other kids standing there close enough they'd obviously seen something. As we were herded down the hall to the office, the Principal spoke into his handheld radio, "Security all clear. I repeat, ALL CLEAR. I need surveillance camera footage from hall monitor 11c pulled and queued from 10 minutes ago to now." By the time we got to the office the students were all in class and the office was berserk with security and stern looking adults. Jason and I were escorted briskly to the washroom. The security officer leading s by the scruff of our shirts was a black man, of medium size for a grown-up...but Jason and I weren't going to cause any trouble anyway. We hadn't planned on this fiasco either. God. Mom is gonna be so pissed. We tried to get the blood cleaned up off us as best we could...but my clothes were still torn and ruined, and reeked of blood. I was going to be sick. The stink of dried blood was making me nauseous. After cleaning up a little, I discovered none of the blood was mine. Jason did most of the cleaning. I was zoning out. The adrenaline rush was over, and I started shaking like a leaf. Jason wet a paper towel and wiped my face, checking for cuts and scratches...none. He knew I was gonna loose it...so he pulled me to him and hugged me, whispering in my ear. "You kicked his ass, Dude!" he pulled away and smiled at me. God, I love Jason. He always knew what to say to calm me down...it was like he was a walking encyclopedia of how to deal with Liam. "Dude, one righteous punch there! You nailed him!" I smiled at Jason. He looked deep into my eyes. "Come on...let's face this...they aren't as scary as Dr. Death was back there!" Funny how Jason and I both equated the bastard football jock to cartoon villains. Me and Jason were on nearly the same wave-length. Wonder why I love this boy? A quick kiss on the lips elicited a stern throat clearing from the stooge in uniform waiting at the door. He opened the door by leaning against it with is butt...Jason and I walked to the executioner's station to await our fate. At least we'd go down together. *Sigh* What else could possibly go wrong? Sitting beside Jason I assessed my damages. There were some cuts on my knuckles from hitting Godzilla-in-a-teeshirt, but other than that all the blood was his. Mom was not going to be happy about the ruined clothes, my skinned up knuckles...or me fighting, for that matter. Still I was smugly happy that me and Jason tagged-teamed up on a senior and kicked his ass! Clothes can be replaced. Skin'll grow back...this feeling will never be forgotten. ~0~~0~~00~~0~~0~ Okay. Sorry. It's been way too long since my last posting...the writing of these past two chapters have taken an emotional toll on me. Anyway...I simply had to stop here and get this much out for you. I KNOW you all want to know what has happened to Lenny. Trust me, we're getting there. I want to tell you more...but it'd give all the stuff away. Half of you want me to say, the other half of you'd rip my lips off if I did. *Sigh* Hopefully I'll get the next chapter out by the end of a week. Thanks for your patience. Look. I know that some of you have grown so attached to these boys that you are on pins and needles. If I had another way of getting us to the point of having the knowledge of their plight without all the pain involved with learning it...I'd do it. I'm certain many of you want me to just spit it out...what has happened to our loveable Lenny. Next chapter will clear it up...I've simply no place else to go...it's inevitably the next chapter. So, please write me and tell me what you think up to here. If you have serious issues with what's going on, write me and we'll talk. Comments welcome! andyoutwest@live.com