Date: Tue, 27 May 2008 17:38:24 -0500 From: Andy Smith Subject: Asleep on the Beach Chapter 8 - Young Friends (tt/tb) Sorry to all for the long delay in getting chapter 8 out for all of you who have been so eager to get to the next discovery with these boys. My workload has greatly increased and has affected my effective creative time, but I believe things are getting back under control. So, hopefully the balance of the story can progress at a more tolerable pace. Many thanks for your patience. Additionally, I have decided to tell this chapter from Lenny's perspective. Hope you enjoy the paradigm shift. Perhaps it will help with understanding things from Lenny's point of view. Okay, let's get on to more pressing matters...like our story... Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The people are fictional, and are not intended to resemble, nor relate to any real individual or individuals. The plot is fictional, not real. The inspiration and motivation for this story resides entirely within the confines of my mind. Certain incidences and happenings in my past brought me to the understandings that lead to the creation of these characters and story. If you aren't supposed to be reading about young lovers, don't. Please write if you have comments or questions. All responses are treated with respect and answered as promptly as I can. andyoutwest@live.com Prologue We last saw Lenny asleep after being discovered in bed with Liam by Jason. Jason, ever the observant one realized Lenny seemed to have problems with his butt being sore, and soon discovered the reason. This revelation caused Jason to have to confront a personal tormentor from his past, which had never been dealt with properly. Interestingly, his lack of consternation with what Lenny and Liam had been doing comes from the incoming nausea and fog-of-war at the haunting memories freshly jerked to the forefront of his psyche. Before long he will need to deal with his troubled past in a more meaningful way...and that could cause its own share of dismay. Chapter 8 -- from Lenny's perspective... Hey! Andy (our narrator) tells me I have to tell you all what brought me to be asleep on the beach yesterday...and well...he said I need to talk about my past. Okay, so here we go...hope I don't bore you to tears. I suppose I should start with memories of my Mom. Her name was Alisha. I like that name. Really, I don't like to talk about this too much anymore, but you need to know this before I can tell you about me. Mom was always at home, and always did whatever I needed her to do to take care of me..I remember pb&j's on demand, lots of cuddles and stuff...she always had time to bandage my ouchies, and...I remember her smell most of all. I was her "pride and joy" for as long as she had me! Well...that changed a little when my little sister was born, though I don't really remember her much...she was just a baby after all. I mean...she was sweet enough for a baby and all...but...well...they died in a car crash when I was five. Mom and Lisa (my sister). I don't remember much else about Mom though, except that she smelled really, really good...Mom did. Sometimes, when I'm nearly asleep on my bed at nights, I can almost smell her. I remember the scent anyway. It's really weird...the smell is almost real...I almost feel like I can reach out and touch her sometimes when it's the most intense...but then it's not real...I try to reach out and touch her, but she isn't here anymore. I have a picture of her, but even that doesn't help much anymore. I used to keep it beside my bed...until we moved...here. I'm not supposed to say where "here" is, but I guess if you were somewhere near Galveston Bay, you might could see me sometime. Anyway, when we moved; Dad and me, I just didn't want to put Mom's picture up anymore. It is just to lonely to think about her much like that now. So, it's just me and my Dad now. He's pretty cool, only I don`t see him much...he's always at work -- always. I don't think he used to be this way...I remember going to the park, flying kites at the beach, stuff like that...we used to always have fun together. I always wanted a dog, Dad promised he'd get me one...I wanted a terrier like in the movie My Dog Skip...he just never got to it. Things got really bad, and a dog wasn't exactly the kinda thing I needed to bug him about, and now we don't spend a lot of time together like we used too before Mom died. Momma got in this accident...we...we just don't spend a lot of time together anymore is all. Dad is cool though. He always makes sure I have enough spending money to go to the mall and get something to eat, or to get a new video game and stuff. I do most of the cooking at home, but it's usually just for me though. I'm best at microwave mac-n-cheese. Yum. Don't get me wrong...I love Dad. He lets me go and hang out at the beach when I don't have homework and stuff like that. So long as I keep my grades up, and he knows where I'm at, he pretty much lets me do what I want. The thing is, I guess I look just like my Mom. So, when he looks at me, he sees her. Is that weird? Kinda creeps me out just a little...not in a weird way...I mean...no, no...he's not WEIRD...he doesn't like want to take me to bed or anything...I'm talking about that it makes him way sad to see me...to see her in me. He and I have talked about it some. It makes him cry to talk about it...me too. I hate for him to be sad. So, I don't nag him about spending less time at work. He calls me all the time, and all I have to do is call him and he'd stop whatever he's doing and come get me. He had to do that before. Once, about a month ago I was out on the beach, and sometimes when I am sure I am alone, I like to find secluded spots and just sit naked and watch the water come in. It's kinda scary about getting caught...but that is sort of what makes it so fun. Anyway, one day I was out by the beach in one of my favorite secret spots...I had left my speedos up by some dunes sorta things away from the water. A fella sure wouldn't want to get his trunks swept away in the tide when he was nude, or something like that. I guess I just got lost in my thoughts that day, `cause the next thing I knew I heard some voices...laughing. I jumped up and turned to go get my trunks, and I saw these two older boys running away with them! Darn-it! I couldn't walk all the way home like that...even though it wasn't so far away. I thought about waiting until dark, then trying to sneak home...but that would just be too scary, waiting here on the beach in the dark...naked...alone. Nope, not a good idea. So, all I could do was sneak over the beach to the place where there is a pay phone. I didn't have any coins, naturally, so I called the operator and asked her to make an emergency call to my Dad. She was giving me a hard time about it...I just told her I was twelve years old (nearly), naked, and alone on the beach...AND I NEEDED MY DADDY! It worked. She rang him up... When he got there we had a laugh about it. He didn't scold me at all...just wanted to know what in the hell (sorry...his words, not mine) happened to my speedos (he knows that's all I like to wear to the beach), and how it was I came to be without them. THAT was embarrassing. But, he was cool when I explained about liking to sit and watch the water roll in when no-one was bothering me and I could just get lost in my own thoughts (naked). He laughed and told me he did the same thing a lot when I was in bed asleep...only he tried it with a bit more clothes on than I did! I thought he would get angry about it, but he wasn't mad at me at all...he was worried that it wasn't a good idea for a twelve year old boy to be naked, and alone on the beach. He told me I'd have to stop doing that, or he couldn't let me go back. He said it was ok to watch the water roll in, but not naked. Darn. Well, that lead to a deeper conversation though. We went out to Micky D's to eat after he took me home to get more clothes, and after I ate a couple of kid's meals and was drinking my soda, Dad had more questions. Something like this: "Okay, Lenny. Tell me the truth. Why are you hanging out at the beach so much, and what's really up with the exhibitionist stuff?" "Dad!" I answered, "I don't even know what that word is." "Why are you going around in the nude in public?" "Public?" "The beach." "Oh." "Answer the question." "Umm...," how was I gonna get around this one...I had no clue. My brain doesn't work that fast...and I sure can't lie well enough to get away with it. Looks like I had only the truth as an option. Maybe, if he didn't beat me up over being called to rescue a nude son from the beach (like he's beat me up a hundred times before...NOT!), he would be cool about the truth. *Sigh* (I learned that from Liam...sighing out loud!). "Da..Dad, don't be mad at me." A fresh tear formed in my eyes. "Look, Lenny," he said, "I'm your Father. I'm not the best one in the world, I know that..." "Yes you ARE!" I interrupted but he shushed me and continued. "No, don't...let me finish please. I'm not around as much as I should be. You need me home more. You need a..." He choked up and his lips started trembling. I reached across the table and put my hand in his. He pulled me over and around the table and had me sit up really close beside him. He was crying now...not blubbering like a baby...but still he was crying. I only heard him do that late at night when he thought I was asleep. He wouldn't ever cry in front of me before. I settled in beside him, and could smell his cologne, and feel how warm he was under his shirt. The hairs on his arm were long, and smelled...manly...comforting. I always liked it when he held me close and I could put my face where I could feel is arm hairs on my face and lips, and smell his smells. I put my arms around his waist and he hugged me to his chest. I could feel him kiss my hair, and we just held each other for a long time. After a while, he could talk some more and he picked up where he left off, "Son, you need a mother." I felt my heart sink, and my head spin, and things started going in circles and my world got darker and dizzier. He must have felt me trembling, because he pulled me away from him and lifted my chin up a little. I was crying now too. "Don't worry, Lenny. I know I can't replace her...There could never be another her. I won't do that to you. It's just not good for you to be alone so much. And, I know that. Anyway, I'm not dating anyone. It's been nearly seven years since she's le..left, but I'm not in a hurry to get over her. But we were talking about me not being the best Father, but I am STILL your Father." He was still holding my chin very gently and now he moved his hand across my cheek. He whispered, "Lenny, I love you, Son." Tears fell from my eyes...and his. "I won't ever get mad at you, Lenny. Not mad enough to hurt you, or push you away. I'll never forget that I love you. No matter what you say to me, Son, I'll never forget that. Ever." I cried some more and hugged him fiercely. Some people walked by with some little kids and were looking at us pretty strangely...like they thought Dad was doing something to me he shouldn't. I didn't care though, and kept hugging him tight. He put his chin on my head, and let me hold him a long time. Finally, I sat up a bit, and wiped the tears out of my eyes, I sniffed up a bunch, and Dad stuck some napkins under my nose like he did when I was little. I just took them away from him, pulled back a bit, and blew my own nose (I was NEARLY twelve years old after all). Blowing my nose did make me feel better though, I wonder how parents know that stuff? "Okay," he said, "wanna talk about it now?" "Ice-cream first?" My eyes big and begging. "Sure!" So, we crawled out of the booth and got some ice-cream. I told him I'd be more comfortable in the car, so we got in and just started driving down the gulf coast for a late evening drive. After I had eaten my ice-cream, I sat sideways in the seat and looked at Dad. He was looking out at the road in front of him, one hand on the wheel, the other reached out and patted me on my thigh. "Dad, I th...think...I think I like b.boys, He just loked over at me a moment then back at he road in front of him. "I...ummm...I guess I like boys like most guy's like girls. Dad, does that mean I'm g.gay?" He just kept his hand on m thigh, rubbed it just a little, then put both hands on the wheel. He looked old then. I could see the dash lights reflecting off his face. I could still smell his cologne on my face and hands from when we were hugging and stuff. For a long time he didn't say anything, nor did I. Watching him, I saw the first tears drop from his eyelid and fall down his cheek. The light reflected off of them and they were like little blue balls falling from space. Time had no meaning...everything was so slow ansd intense. It seemed as if I was lost in the space of the moment and the tear drops falling were now the measure of time. Each drop took hours to fall to his lap..I could see every detail, but couldn't focus on anything else. I just don't know what I thought he would do or say...but tears wasn't what I'd expected. Silence wasn't either. I was beginning to get afraid. My mind began to wonder if he was planning o pull over on the side of the road and dump me out and keep driving. I had heard of two little kids once whose Mom and Dad stopped at a place to let the kids go the to the bathroom and they just drove away and left the little kids and never came back. What would I do if that happened to me? I couldn't call anyone. What would happen to me? I stated fidgeting in my seat, and my own heart rate quickened. Dad finally began to slow the car, and I nearly panicked. I reached over and locked the car door and I could feel myself begin to hyperventilate. There was a rest stop coming up and he took the off-ramp for it. I began to scream, "I'm sorry Daddy! Please stop! I'll change! I won't like boys anymore! Please don't!" I was near hysteria. I started flailing and swinging my fists at him, so much that he had to put his arm up to block my blows and keep control of the car. Eventually he struggled the car into an awkward stop...half in a parking spot, half in the lane. Putting he car in park, grabbing me by the arm and turning in his seat almost simultaneously, he pulled me across my seat, out of my seatbelt and to himself the most forceful and strongest bear hug I ever had. He was so much bigger than me, so much stronger. I had never felt him use his strength against me before and I was shocked at just how strong he really was. I was still fighting him...futilely...and eventually with less vigor and energy. Soon, even I could see it was pointless so I just stopped, and went limp in his arms. My fright was overtaken by overwhelming fear of the unknown, and the waterworks were in full flow. Ever so slowly I began to notice he was caressing my hair, and gently rocking me back and forth. Then I heard his whispered shushes and felt the patting on my back. He was comforting me, not fighting me...not hitting me...not making me get out of the car. He had kept his word. Eventually...minutes later...many minutes...He pulled me slightly away from himself. "Lenny, haven't we done enough crying for one day yet" he asked. I sorta grinned through my watery eyes and wipes at my nose with my arm, then with my other, I wiped my eyes. I pulled away from him then, and climbed back over to my seat. Once I settled in, he reached over and took my hand and made me look up at him. "What was that all about, Son?" he asked with genuine concern and tenderness. So, I told him about he story I had heard about the kids, about how my mind was running away with me again (I have a history of this), and that I panicked when he wouldn't talk to e...then when he slowed the car and starting pulling over...well...my twelve-year old mind could only come up with one conclusion. "Okay, Lenny, I'm sorry to frighten you like that. I told you I would never forget I love you...didn't I?" I nodded in agreement. "I meant every word of that. I won't ever, EVER forget that, Son. No. I am NOT going to abandon you on the side of the road. I won't ever leave you anywhere. Period. We are family...and somehow we are going to work through this. I promise." I turned away from him and could feel the tears dropping from my eyes. I was overwhelmed from all that was swirling in my mind. It felt as though my brain would explode at any moment. I didn't replay, just kept looking out the window at the neary abandoned rest stop and at the signs booth with all the message postings, tourist information, maps and stuff...but my mind wasn't focusing on anything. A lone truck driver came out of the restroom and glanced at how we were parked. He nodded at my Dad, who nodded in return. Some sort of unspoken language between men I suppose. "I need to go pee," I said as I opened the door and began sliding out of the car. Dad reached across for me and touching my shoulder. "Wait, Lenny, I'll go with you," and he got out of the car, meeting me in the front of the car as we walked toward the restroom. The bathroom smelled of old pee and worse, but looked pretty clean despite the odor, and it appeared to be empty at first pass. The lights were bright, and surprising to me there wasn't a lot of graffiti on the walls and stalls. I had always heard about these places, but had never been in one myself before. I went to a stall, but Dad went to the urinal trough. It has a steady stream of water running through it, like the ones at school. We both finished about the same time and went over to the sinks to wash our hands. He looked down at me and said, "I just wanted to be sure you didn't run off, or something." I could feel myself blushing, but couldn't manage to say anything, but just shrugged my shoulders. He put his arm around my shudder and walked me back to my side of the car, and he opened the door for me. As I slid in my spot and grabbed for my seatbelt, Dad knelt down beside me at eye level. He had a deep look of concern, his eyebrows scrunched together, and worry was evident on his face. He very slowly and tenderly reached for my face and held me with both hands, looking me deep in the eyes. Leaning in toward my face, Dad kissed my forehead, then turned my face slightly to kiss each cheek. His lips trembled as he did so. Without releasing my face he said, "Lenny, I love you, and would never hurt you. I'll never leave you. I don't know what this means for us, but somehow, together, we'll figure this out. Okay?" I could only nod slightly, while blinking back the tears. Then he leaned forward again and kissed me very softly and quickly, square upon the lips. He pulled away then, stood up, shut my door, and walked back to his side of the car. I watched him walk around the car, and was in a bit of shock. Dad hadn't kissed me in a very long, long time. I was suddenly very content, and felt like everything was going to be okay. So, I went form a screaming maniac, to a contented twelve-year old boy in just about ten minutes. Go figure. Dad started the car and pulled back out on the freeway. "Hey Bud? Wanna go on a little trip...a vacation? I have some time coming from the office (he is an architect)." I was shocked. We hadn't been on a trip together since...well, since Mom died. I shrugged my shoulders, and giggled a bit. "Are you crazy?" I asked. "What did you do to my Dad? Just who are you, strange man?" (This line was a sort of standing joke between us...no, I didn't come up with that all by myself). We both fell into a bit laughter and knee slapping...way too exaggerated for the lame joke, but I suppose we both needed the break from the stress we'd just been through. We ended up driving to Dallas (Arlington, actually), and going to Six-Flags. We got a hotel and went to a water park and went to this wax museum, and ate at a ton of restaurants. There were malls and shopping, and all kinds of great stuff. I wanted to go to a rodeo, so we went to one in Mesquite. It was FANTASTIC! Dad took me to Fort Worth, they call the downtown area there Cow Town, and have all sorts of cool shops and stuff. We had a blast. Neither one of us brought up what I said in the car that night, and eventually, we both even managed to not let it even bother us. We stayed there for a few days, and headed back on Sunday, so Dad could go back to work. He had called his boss that nest morning (after my melt down) and told him he had a family crisis going and would be back in a few days. His boss was a really cool guy, Robert. I had met him lots of times, he was always telling Dad to take off, to take me places...Dad always had an excuse of one sort, or another...this was the first time we had actually done anything like this. What a fantastic trip...it was almost too perfect. On the trip back, he did get back to our conversation from before. I had hoped he would forget about it. No chance of that. We had been driving a while, had just pulled away from a truck-stop for a potty break. I got a soda and some strawberry Zingers to munch on, and we were settled in afterwards when he picked the conversation back up. "Tell me how come you think you like boys, Lenny." He was looking straight forward, but didn't have any anger, or resentment in his voice. I felt completely relaxed. I knew in my heart that this was coming, so I wasn't afraid to deal with it now. This had been he most fun we had had together since...well ever! And I just needed to talk to someone about this. I didn't know what he would say, but he had relieved my mind of fears that he would hate me, or get mad and punish me...so I just started talking. "Well, Dad, I guess I have been thinking about it a long time. Only...I didn't know that's what I was thinking about. Since school has been out and we moved here I started going down to the beach. Well...you already know what I like to do down there," I blushed a bit and turned to look straight ahead. He chuckled a bit but kept quiet. "There's this group of eight graders that I saw hanging out there nearly every day. I'm so much smaller than them, I knew they didn't want a little kid hanging out with them, but I just started watching them. It didn't take me long to figure out they came there just after baseball practice...you know how much I LOVE baseball! Anyways, I kept just far enough away to kinda hear what they talked about and stuff, but they were always so busy horsing around, goofing off and stuff that they have never even seen me. "I figured out a few of their names...Ray and Daniel, there's Will, and he has a little brother who comes with them sometimes...I think his name is Brant. I'm not completely sure about that `cause I only heard it a couple of times, but it's so unusual that I...well, I just remembered it anyway. Brant. There are a couple of others too, but they don't get close enough for me to know who they are yet." That last part sort of hung in the air. It meant that I had every intention of going back...Dad noticed it, but let it slide...for now. "What does this have to do with what you told me, Lenny," Dad said. "Dad," I sighed, "I...I can't quit thinking about hem Dad. I get all nervous inside...I want to be closer and closer. I want to see them in their suits. My...(I motioned towards my crotch) gets hard sometimes when I'm watching them." My cheeks were quite red by then I was sure. Dad suppressed a laugh...I could tell he had to struggle with it...but he was cool to respect my feelings and not laugh at me. "So, tell me Lenny, do you masturbate yet?" "DAD!!" "It's a normal question...considering what you are telling me...and EVERY kid does it. It's a question of when you start doing it...not IF you are going to do it." "Well," I protested, "every kid may do it...but I bet EVERY KID don't talk to their Dad's about it!" This got a broad grin from him, but he wasn't going to let me off the hook. I lowered my head, could feel my ears burning, my hands were in my lap...hiding the erection I was suddenly aware of. *Sigh* "I started doing that this summer," I said meekly, totally humiliated and embarrassed. "Took you long enough!" Dad replied. I snapped my head up at that, and turned to look at him, my mouth open in disbelief. We both laughed out loud at that. Dad had once again defused an embarrassing situation. "How did you learn about it?" he asked. "I sa...saw someone do it," I said quietly. I glanced back at him and that didn't throw him a curve, so I kept going. "It was Ray and Brant. Once they acted like they were going off for sodas at the cantina, but when they got out of sight of the others, they ducked over a big sand dune and seemed to be in a hurry. I followed them. "By the time I got there, and peeked from the other side where they couldn't see me...they had their swim shorts pulled down and were doing it to each other." My blush was glowing. The late afternoon sun was shining brightly into the window, and anyone in ten miles could have seen me glowing over the horizon. "Just what were they doing to each other?" "Dad!" "Sorry, just curious. I want to know so I can help you with what you saw." "Dad," I said rather annoyed at his condescension. "I KNOW what they were doing." He waited. *Sigh* "They were rubbing each other's penises. Ray is about two or three years older than Brant. Ray looked huge down there, especially compared ot Brant. Brant doesn't have any hair yet." "Pubic hair," Dad said. "It's called pubic hair." "Oh." "Go on," he said, "what else did they do?" "I dunno," I replied, "Cause after a few minutes, I could tell they both liked what they were doing...I got really scared they would see me and beat me up...or laugh at me...so I snuck away...and ran home. "I kept thinking about that all the whole time I was running home, and when I got there, no one was home..." I looked at him for some reaction, but he didn't give me one, "so I got naked and started trying what they were doing. It took me a couple of days, but pretty soon I guess I figured it out, because I got this huge tingling feeling. I thought I was going to pee the bed, or pass out...or both." I giggled, he did too. "So, I've been doing that every day since that day...every day." He was silent a long time, then he turned to look at me, "Do you think THAT makes you gay?" I blushed at his question. I suppose if that was it, it would be stupid of me to think such a thing, but I knew there was more. "Dad, that's all I think about." "So...your elev...twelve years old! What else is a pubescent boy going to thing about?" he asked with a smile on his face. "No Dad...not THAT...I can't help but think about those BOYS. When I do stuff with myself...I'm thinking about THEM. That's gay. I know that much." "What "things" do you do with yourself?" *Sigh* "DAD!!" He grinned, but said, "I know...but it's just me and you here...I need to know...so I can help you sort this out." "That's it. I just play with myself like they were...but I do it like a hundred times a day!" "Whoa!" "Well...not really a hundred...but it's a lot." How long can a boy stay blushed red? "Lenny," Dad said patiently, "It won't fall off or nothing." I looked a little relieved, I suppose. He chuckled a bit then added, "and no...you won't run out of sperm either. In case you were wondering." "Sperm?" "The stuff that comes out of your dick when you jack-off?" "Stuff comes out?" "Ahhh..." he suppressed a grin and proceeded to tell me a bit more about my body, and about what was happening to me. He figured out what Ray and Brant had done, and explained why two boys may want to do that together, but that didn't even mean they were gay. Dad said that lots of boys "experiment" with each other at this age...he said we felt it was safer to do stuff with a boy than with a girl. He said boys know we are all "plumbed" alike, and that we already knew what the other boy was thinking...it was safer, we didn't have to try to figure out what girls were thinking...or how to get them alone and in a situation like that...of course...I got het don't try that stuff with girls speech too. His point was that I still couldn't know if I was gay from what I had told him. Fair enough. "Listen, Lenny," he said, "One gay experience doesn't make you gay. Two gay experiences doesn't either. The way I see it, a person IS, or ISN'T gay and a few acts can't "turn" you gay." Great, that helps. *Good grief* "My point is this, don't worry about it. Don't try to label yourself one way or another. Life is short, but it comes one day at a time. Just search for ways to be happy today, let the rest just sort itself out. You are too young to be worrying about that kind of stuff all the time. I know...you can't help how you feel...I'm not saying that. Just...just don't spend time worrying about stuff is all. You are who you are. If not...and you can change things, change them. If you can't change things...quite worrying about it. Remember this, Lenny...I love you...always will." I didn't get around to telling him that afternoon about experimenting with carrots and candles up my bottom. I didn't know how much of this he could handle without flipping out. I wondered how he knew so much about boys experimenting...and "gay experiences" not making you gay...and stuff like that. But, obviously...even with a cool Dad, there are some things you COULDN'T ask a Dad...and some things you just DIDN'T WANT to ask. He did tell me to stop sleeping nude on the beach. He told me to be bold and just go up and introduce myself to the guy's at the beach...but I wasn't so sure I could do that...just yet. I found the thoughts of young Brant, who was near my own age, to be very exciting...I thought of him most of the time when I "Jacked-off" (to use my Dad's term). But, how could I just go up and talk to them about being friends? Over the next few days, Dad tried to spend more time with me...and did a lot more than before...but his job was very demanding, and even with his new efforts, I still had lots of time on my hands. I spent even more time at the beach. Dad bought me a new set of swim trunks. They were the coolest, sexy-blue speedos (my favorites), with white stripes running sort of at a diagonal. They showed off my stuff pretty good. I know I looked good in them, because people always turned to watch me when I walked past them at the beach. I'm not that kind of kid to just try to get people to look at me, but I know when they are. I saw the gang of baseball kids a lot. I was getting to feel more and more comfortable waiting just outside their area. My habit of hiding in secluded spots on the beach continued...but I always kept my speedos on, fearing what Dad would do if I lost them again. Besides, that was too embarrassing...not gonna go through THAT again. The two boys I couldn't name to Dad were obviously buddies. They always hung out together, and whispered together a lot. They looked like they really liked each other...like they were really super best friends. I wondered what that would be like...to have a real best friend. The smaller of the two seemed to always get an erection (Dad taught me that word), he was always trying to adjust his board-shorts...not always very successful at hiding a stiffy though. Of course...by then, I was LOOKING for that sorta stuff. And hardly EVER missed one. I was lonely for a friend. I was tired of being alone. At night, I jacked off thinking about the boys at the beach. During the day, I snuck over the dunes and found a place to be alone and do it more. It was always pretty risky to do it out there...in the open...but I just had to do it. After a while, my tan was pretty god, and with having my shorts down (or off) so much, I really didn't have too much of a tan line. It was pretty sexy looking to me when I saw it in my own mirror in the bathroom. I had to stand up on a stool to get a good look though...I am too short to see everything just standing up at the counter...but that's a whole other story. Some days, I would just fall asleep when I was out at the beach. I would always wake up and know I'd been dreaming about my baseball gang (that's what I was calling them to myself then), and sometimes I'd wake up with a boner (I'd heard that word at school, but didn't know what it meant...a boner...what the hell???...but I figured it out one day sitting out there watching that baseball boy adjust his shorts. I laughed out loud and he turned to look at me...I guess he thought I was laughing at something funny, because he just sat there a bit then went back to watching is friends in the water (I noticed he was giving his "Boner" a workout under his shorts too!). One day...I was really down. I was thinking about what would happen to me when I got back to school. I would be the new damn kid. *Sigh* And, how could I deal with needing to jack all day? What would I do if I got stiff looking at the boys at school? I bet they'd beat me up, or something. Flush my head down the toilet. I could remember boys calling each other "queer", and "fag" at my old school. A couple of kids got beat up pretty badly...they just transferred schools and never came back. I didn't understand it back then...but sitting here so much on the beach and having time to think it through...I figured it out. They got beat up because they were just like me...that meant I would be just like them...and I should expect to get beat up too...the only question was when...not if...kinda like my Dad said about boys learning to jack-off. I must have passed out asleep. I remember thinking about being REALLY hot, but my mind was all wrapped up in my dreams and I couldn't wake up. Then...I felt a hand on me. It was cool...my skin felt burning hot. I opened my eyes...it was the baseball boys from down the beach...One was kneeling over me, the one with long brown hair. The other (with short hair) was standing at my feet. Once I figured out who they were I was scared...I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. They had figured out I was staring at them and they somehow that I was thinking about them being nude and stuff...I was in REAL trouble...I was about to get my first pounding as a gay boy... Okay...new angle...but hopefully now you can see a bit more why Lenny reacted and acted as he did when he met Liam. Still...I know we have more answers to be discovered. We'll get to them...let me know what you think so far. Many thanks to all your kind words and so forth. I promise to answer any email as soon as possible. -- Andy andyoutwest@live.com