Date: Fri, 19 Jan 2001 19:32:58 -0500
From: insanevisionary@hotmail.com
Subject: Barton 9

"This is gonna be the best night ever," I said.  "Sleeping out is great,
you'll see.  C'mon." I said getting up.

                                  Part Eight

Dinner was great.

I sat across from Barton at the big table.

The grown-ups talked about grown-up stuff like their jobs the whole time,
and Barton's Dad even had to answer all the same dumb adult questions about
how he liked the new town and stuff, like Barton did the night when we went
to the fireworks.

Then Dad made coffee and Mom brought out a big cake with chocolate
frosting, and started slicing into it.

When everyone had some, Barton and I each took a big bite.  It tasted
great, and Barton had a big smile on his face.

I had another big piece on my fork when I noticed that something didn't
seem right.

No one was talking.

The adults were looking back and forth at each other, but they weren't
eating their cake or saying anything.

Suddenly Barton's Dad said, "Barton, did I ever tell you that when I was in
high school, I had a good friend who was gay?"

I had my fork halfway to my mouth and just stopped.

I looked at Barton's Dad.  He was just sitting there smiling, as if he had
just asked, "Would you please pass the cream?"

Barton almost choked, then turned pure white.  "Um..." he managed.

I was trying to be cool, but my mouth was wide open.

My Dad had his left elbow on the table, his head resting in his hand,
covering his eyes which is when he usually says something like, "Oh,
God..."

My Mom was looking right at me with a worried look on her face.

All of a sudden I didn't feel so good.

It started in my stomach as an empty, sick feeling.  Then it moved up into
my chest and throat and coiled around them like a snake, tightening as it
went until I couldn't breathe.

"His name was Mark..." Barton's Dad continued.  "And I guess he didn't have
anyone else to talk to, because..."  Then he stopped, and looked at my Mom.
"What?" he shrugged.  "I just thought..."

Mom moved her eyes from me to him.  "It's okay," she said.

She got up and came around behind Dad, running her hand across his
shoulders, and sat in the chair next to me.

Oh No!

What the Hell?!

This was gonna be bad.

Dad straightened up.

I looked across at Barton.  He looked awful, like he was going to start
crying any second and maybe I was too.

"I'm sorry," Barton's Dad said.

Mom shrugged.  "You did what you thought was right," she smiled.

Then she ran her hand through my hair, and left it resting on my shoulder.
"Barton," she said, smiling now at him, "Would you please come and sit next
to John?"

Barton lowered his fork and looked at his Dad who only glanced at my Mom
and said to him, "Go ahead."

He got up slowly, walked around his Dad and slid into the seat next to me,
looking at the floor the whole way.

When he had sat and the snake had me tighter than ever, Mom said, "John?
You really like Barton a lot, don't you?"

Oh my God!  Get up and RUN John.  NOW!  Run as far and as fast as you can!
Go!  Go NOW!

The snake had me paralyzed.

"It's okay, honey," Mom said.  "I know this is hard, but we're not doing
this to embarrass you.  Just tell me."

I looked up at my Dad.  He had that look in his eyes like when Toby the cat
died last spring.

The snake let go just a bit.  "Yeaahh, I guess..." I said in a half
strangled whisper.

"And Barton," his Dad spoke up.  "You really like John a lot too, don't
you?"

Barton glanced toward me, then looked at his father.  His perfect white
teeth clamped his lower lip.  He swallowed hard and moved his head up and
down real slow.  Two tears fell on either side of his face.  "I'm sorry
Dad," he croaked, "But I really do."

He sounded - different than I'd ever heard him before.

"Oh, shit," his father said, as he got up and came to his son's side.  "No.
No, don't cry Barton, it's okay."

"Aww, crap," my dad said, and everyone looked at him.  "Look, we just want
you guys to know that we know and it's okay with us and that's it, right?"
He looked at Mom and then at Barton's Dad.

"Well yes, but there's more," Mom said.

You can still get up and run, John!  What did my Dad just say?  They know?

"What your father said goes for all of us but there's more.  If you two
want to, uh... do things like what you did by the tent earlier when we're
around, then that is okay, but we want to make sure that you know that not
everyone will be okay with that, do you understand?"  She was looking at me
now.

"What she means is..." Barton's Dad said to him, "... that we want to
protect you, and we think that you guys need to be careful about who you
tell, and who finds out, that's all.

"For example," he said sitting back a bit, "If someone at school saw
something personal that you had in your notebook or something, it could
cause a lot of trouble for both of you.  You know what I mean?"

Barton went pink.  "Daa-ad?"

Silence filled the room.

Barton looked so bad.  I wanted to help him, like when he got beat up last
time.

"Do you understand, John?" Mom asked.

I looked at her.  I didn't want to run now.

"If you want to hold Barton's hand or... whatever, we won't mind, but other
people might.  Especially the other kids."

"In fact," Barton's Dad said to him, "I can see why you like John so much.
He is a very good-looking boy and he's athletic, and... well, he's nice.
And I know it's been hard for you to make friends because we move so much,
but I don't want you to get beat up again just because you've found a
special friend that you like and trust."

Silence again.

Poor Barton.  I can't believe his Dad just said that.

"The truth is," Dad said.  Everyone looked at him again.

He was looking at me now.  "The truth is, that we," now he swallowed.  "We
love you very, very much John.  And we want you to be happy, and we are the
adults here and maybe we don't necessarily understand exactly how you feel,
but we do know how the world works.  And we are telling you, even if you
think you know already, that have to be careful.

You can do things differently around us and we will not tell anyone.  It's
none of their business.  We just don't want you two guys to think that you
have to hide your feelings from us.  Understand?"

He was still looking at me.

"John?"

My Mom's hand moved slowly to my other shoulder.

"K, Dad," I whispered.

They saw me kissing Barton by my tent.  Course they did.  They saw
everything.  Duh.

Barton's Dad said, "That goes for me too.  I love you baby, and I want you
to be happy with John if that's what you want."

Then nobody said anything until my Mom got up and went and picked up her
coffee cup.  "Why don't we take our coffees out on the deck, guys?"

Our Dads picked up their cups and followed her outside.