Date: Fri, 23 Apr 2021 12:09:32 -0700 From: Rick E. Racoon Subject: Becoming Self-Respectable - Part 3 Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction intended for adults. It has only been posted, with my permission, to Nifty.org in the archive describing its content. You have sought it out and are choosing to read it. Please consider making a donation to support this non-profit authors alliance. If you're worried about ending up on a list (as I was) of people who read "dirty" stories, send a check through the post. No one is watching that anymore. You can learn all the ways to donate at: https://donate.nifty.org/ Acknowledgements: I would like to thank Backwoods Boy for his continued support as the editor of this story. Content Advisory: While this story is posted in Gay, Young Friends, this chapter contains a scene with sex play between brothers. Becoming Self-Respectable - Part 3 What's Jizz? That spring as swimming was about to start up at the club, and not long after my fight with Lex, my now estranged friend, my mother was having health issues and told us she would be working from home for a while, starting the following week. "I need a place to work. Liam will share his room and we will turn Ricky's into my study." I wasn't thrilled that I would be sharing - yeah, sharing, I'd be lucky if he let me in to sleep - my fourteen-year-old brother's room, and he was quite vocal about not wanting to share with an eleven-year-old kid. I was still on the smaller side - not yet five feet tall and maybe seventy-five pounds. My torso tilted forward a bit at the hips, causing my butt to stick out and my taught muscled tummy to jut out a little and curve up to my strong but boyish looking chest. My face was also boyish, with ears slightly big for my head and bright hazel eyes that seemed to change color with my mood. My short-cropped brown hair would fade to a light auburn in the summer sun, which also turned my darker Anglo skin (light olive from some distant ancestor) to a deep rich tan. Spending most days during the summer wearing only my Speedo swim briefs, I could expose a butt cheek to show off a Coppertone tan like the little girl in the print ads (https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Coppertone). In the pouch of my suit, my biggish balls and thick dick, pointing almost straight up, and topped by a flared head, made a nice symmetrical bulge. Liam on the other hand, was well into puberty. Both his hair, also buzz cut, and skin were lighter than mine. He had stunning blue-green eyes that lit up on the rare occasions when he smiled. He was also thin but more visibly muscular, and six inches taller than me. His body, toned from swimming and water polo, had a hint of my abdominal curve, but he also had that classic 'v' formed by his well developed abdominal muscles. Rising from his Speedos was a taut stomach with a faint six-pack and slightly protruding pecs. His shoulders and traps were even more defined. The pouch of his suit looked very different from mine. His balls were bigger and moved freely in a loose sack - even after being in cool water. His longer shaft lay over to the side with a prominent circumcised head visible in the thin band of fabric over his right leg. As Mom's news sank in, I realized that I would only have a few more days of privacy. A big deal, as I had become progressively more vocal during my 'self-soothing sessions'. Not only would I be losing my room, the house would now be occupied every day when I got home from school. I was still in a funk about the fight. More particularly about the way people were treating me. As in, everyone pretty much avoided me all together. That next week after the fight, a few kids at school asked me if I really knocked Lex out. But after telling them I didn't want to talk about it, and with them hearing what people were saying around school, they didn't approach me again, at all. If I wasn't really thinking about it before, it was now crystal that I didn't have any friends my own age. The guys at the studio were nice to me, even excited about my "street fighting", but they treated me more like a kid brother or a mascot than a friend. So, feeling sad about losing my only sorta friend and being lonely in general, I had been retreating to my room every day after school, while my mom was still at work. I would strip naked and fantasize about Lex being naked with me, kissing me and rubbing his dick and balls on me. I started to think about putting my mouth on his dick, suddenly connecting the sensation of shoving my fingers in my mouth with having a dick in there. Trouble was, not really having seen Lex's dick, having only felt it through his clothes, my mind conjured the only vivid image available - Jaime gripping his hard shaft through the thin fabric of his khakis. From that moment, the naked body in my fantasy became the older of the two brothers. On the Thursday before the weekend I was to move in with Liam, my last day of complete privacy in my own room, the house otherwise empty, I imagined being with Jaime. I remembered the sensation I experienced when I saw him leering at me with his dark brown eyes, while Lex and I were grinding together, gripping his hard dick through his pants, and how much was sticking down his leg past what he was covering with his hand. Even the day of the fight, when I saw him step off the bus, I got that same jolt in my core, like the beginning of an orgasm but unfulfilled. I didn't like the way he talked to us, calling us faggots, but the certainty of what he seemed to want, when he directed his little brother to "take care of this", was very arousing to me. Naked on my bed, laying on my stomach, I humped my pillow while I pushed up with my arms, arching back, and imagined him giving me that direction as he pushed his hard shaft into my mouth. I ground my hard dick into my pillow as I tried to imagine Jaime putting his hand on the back of my head the way Lex had, only instead of pulling me into a kiss, Jaime would be pulling my mouth onto his long, thick shaft. After a few minutes, I couldn't resist pushing my fingers into my mouth and moaning over them. I must have looked like a contortionist as I balanced over my straight right arm, left hand in my mouth, and arching my torso down so I could grind my dick against the bed by gyrating my hips. I swirled my tongue around my fingers as I pumped them in and out of my mouth. Conjuring the sensation of Jaime pulling me all the way to his belly, I sucked and pushed my fingers deep into my throat. As my orgasm began to crest. I vigorously thrust my hips, driving my dick between the pillow and mattress until collapsing onto the bed and vocalizing my desires. "Jaime, I want you." "*" Liam was really pissed about the impending living arrangements. That evening at dinner he complained. "I'm too old to share with a little kid." He acquiesced after getting a "little fatherly correction" (a mid-century American euphemism for a backhand slap). Though he ceased his resistance, Liam wasn't going to do anything to facilitate the move. He disappeared for several hours the Saturday we were to move my bed and nightstand into his room. The rest of my furniture, that I was specifically allowed to pick out for myself when we moved, yet again, to a new house - our fifth since I was born - was appropriated by my mother. It didn't help that I had 'old person taste' and had selected a room of mid-century modern furniture with western accents that she also liked. That, and she postulated, "There just won't be enough room for the rest of these things in your new space." Which ended up being a mere corner of Liam's room. Mom was getting weaker, degenerating disks in her back from having broken it as a child, and was going to be of no help. Dad was "working the weekend" again, traveling to lobby some legislator. So, I had to enlist Deena to help me rearrange the furniture and move my bed. She was thirteen months older and usually disposed to be fairly reasonable, but she was not feeling charitable today. "I was planning something with my friends, but I'll help if you pay me." "Actual money?" "Um-hum, ten dollars." "Wha...? Oh, fine." We turned Liam's bed so that it was side to the wall under the window and pushed the headboard into the corner. Then we placed his nightstand between the bed and 'his' desk - I would end up using the kitchen table - along the wall with the door. We sorted out the rest of the furniture and ended up with my bed diagonally across the room from Liam's, parallel to the closet, but far enough away to open the double folding doors and move around them. Mirroring what we'd done with Liam's bed, we put my headboard to the wall. To the left of my bed, towards the window, was my nightstand, then my brother's chest of drawers and a bookshelf in the corner, a few feet past the foot of Liam's bed. More or less out of wall space, we put the second bookshelf - my brother was a voracious reader, something I both admired and envied him for - with its back to the foot of my bed. My mom was right, there wasn't room for my other furniture, so with no dresser of my own, I ended up with a couple of plastic tubs under my bed. Most of the morning, and two weeks allowance later, both rooms were sorted. I was pretty pleased with my spacial ability to arrange our room so that it was still functional but allowed the greatest distance between the beds. I had also created a sense of privacy with the heads of our beds and nightstands tucked into the cubbies created by the larger furniture next to them. In practice however, and as made plain by Liam that evening as he glared at me, the orientation of our beds had us in full-body view of each other with just a slight turn of the head. As the week began, the full inconvenience of our new living arrangement became more apparent. My brother was also on the swim team at the club and now had much the same schedule as I did. It put a serious crimp in my jack off sessions. No more laying naked, exploring my body. Now constrained to just one quick rub-out during my shower, and aroused all the time, a strange discomfort began plaguing me. The weather was warming and Liam would sleep on top of his bed sheet instead of under it. Bare chested and wearing only the colorful low-cut briefs he had begun buying for himself, no doubt for the way they accentuated his ample package in the tighter slacks that were in fashion at his school, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. Mom still had me in tighty-whities. I hated wearing anything in bed, so I took to wearing a threadbare pair of hand-me-down sleeping shorts (PJs to some). They were comfortable, but weren't really helping to conceal my perpetual erections. To make matters worse, the morning light coming through the window would filter past the bottom of the curtains and illuminate Liam, a back sleeper, about a half an hour before the alarm would start buzzing for us to get up. The light coming in did nothing to stir my brother, but I would wake at first light. For several weeks I woke early each morning when the sun peeked under the heavy curtains and revealed Liam's near naked body. The scalloping light would illuminate or silhouette the contours of his legs, bulge, and torso. Occasionally, he would unconsciously rub or grab his always stiff dick. His head in the shadow, past the edge of the window, I would picture Jaime and hear his confident voice saying 'come take care of this'. At night, I would try - mostly unsuccessfully - not to get caught ogling Liam's bulging package, as he read before bed. My only reprieves from my fascination with Liam, or more truthfully, his body, had been school and my martial arts practice. Unfortunately, Mr. Bay's studio was a converted auto garage and didn't have air conditioning, and since most of the students attended the university, he would close when finals started at the university and travel to Korea to visit family for the summer. Now, the end of May, school had let out for summer break as well. Having nowhere else to go, I was almost glued to Liam's hip for most of every day. Liam and I would wear little more than our Speedos or tight cutoff jeans, split up the sides like the college guys wore. The other guys on the swim team were almost always similarly clad. I felt immersed in a sea of teen and boy flesh, and it was making me crazy with lust. Trying to find some release from my horny-ness, I started going into the bathroom as soon as we got home from practice, before doing our chores. I would lay down on the floor and push my fingers in my mouth while rubbing myself with my suit or just jerking off. A few days after I started doing this, Liam rushed in and inadvertently overpowered the lock - the flimsy privacy lock on the knob didn't really work well - catching me sucking my fingers with my dick in my hand. In his urgency, he just closed the door, snatched a bath towel off the rack and dropped it on me as he stepped over me to the toilet. "Cover up and go." Getting up and moving towards the door, I pressed the towel to my stomach, letting it hang down in front of my hard dick while I side-glanced to watch as he hooked down the front of his Speedo with his right thumb. Compelled, I turned to stare as I saw his shaft supplely roll over his thumb and hang almost straight down, the fat head pulling it like a carpenter's plumb bob, as the bright stream splashed into the water and the aroma of urine wafted in the air. I was in awe of it. When I peed, I would have to stretch my balls out of the way so I could point my dick down to the toilet, and because my pee slit angled up a bit on the head, I had to rotate my hips and stick my butt out even more so the stream wouldn't overshoot the bowl. Up until the fight, my brother got annoyed at me pretty easily, having a temper something like our Dad's. But recently, he had been more tolerant, even though he caught me several times (a night) looking at him (his crotch). Looking up from his dick and catching my eyes in the mirror, he just gazed until he had my attention. "I'm going." "Might as well wait now. I'm almost done" He began milking his shaft and shaking the last drops off the end. As he was stuffing it back into his suit, it was looking a lot less flexible. Looking up again, he asked matter-of-factly, "Do you always suck your fingers when you jack off?" For some reason, I didn't feel challenged or particularly embarrassed, so I simply replied, "Not always. But it does make it kind of... better, sometimes". He gave a knowing sort of nod while washing his hands. "You can finish now if you want." Smiling and looking at me with his glowing emerald eyes, he stepped up to me and wiped his hands on the towel I was still holding against my hard-on, grazing it a bit. Then, patting me on the head, he pressed past me and out the door. After a particularly intense orgasm, grunting into the towel my brother touched me through, I came out of the bathroom and we started our chores and checked for notes from our mom. She was home most days but 'sleeping a lot', having been given pain pills and muscle relaxants for her back. There was a note on her door asking for quiet. Finishing laundry and such, we donned our cutoffs and tank tops and wandered the neighborhood for a bit before dinner time. "*" Deena had a very different schedule from Liam and me now that school was out. She ran with a pack of tween girls from the club, playing tennis and hanging out at their houses, or being chauffeured around by one or another of the girls' mothers. She would be away several days at a time, sleeping over and such. I think there was some idea from the other mothers of making things easier for my mom. My brother and I had been tasked with making dinners now. This meant, of course, that I was making dinner while my brother sat nearby reading - popping up to look busy if our mom came out or when our dad arrived. Dinners these days were less structured. Mom didn't come out every night, and Dad seemed a lot more relaxed with us without her there. He would even engage us in conversation, asking about swimming and discussing with Liam about his being accepted as a counselor in training at the riding camp - he would be away for an entire month starting the following week. After dinner, Dad would go into the study to read, or go "back to the office" to work on something. Liam and I would watch television for a while and then shower and get ready for bed. While Liam caught up on some baseball scores from the TV - surprise, I'm not a big sports fan - I went for my shower and nightly jack-off session. Remembering Liam's dick stretching down from his muscled abdomen, my orgasm was less intense than the one this afternoon, but I still moaned hard through the washcloth I had stuffed in my mouth, as the water from the shower emulated the sound of his pee splashing into the toilet. Finished with my shower, I opened the bathroom door to find Liam waiting to come in. "Dad went back to the office to finish some work. He said he's taking Mom for more x-rays, and to meet a surgeon tomorrow." As Liam was showering, I lounged on my bed, refolding a 'toy' I fashioned from a silk scarf and some velvet fabric. I made a cylinder with the velvet on the inside and the gossamer silk wrapped around it and hanging loose on the edges. After we would turn the lights out, I would slip my sleep shorts down and brush the silk over my exposed skin. Sweeping my thighs and scrotum would make my dick get really hard. That's when I would slip it over my dick and lightly drag the velvet inside up and down over my swollen head. To me, this was both stimulating and very relaxing. While I might start out very excited, and even get close to an orgasam, it usually had the effect of relaxing me and quieting my racing thoughts, so I could sleep. I had become engrossed in preparing my toy and hadn't heard Liam leave the bathroom. Sensing him in the bedroom, I glanced up to see him looking at me as he walked into the room. Feeling embarrassed, I dropped the tube of fabric into the open drawer of my nightstand and softly pushed it closed. Liam just continued across the room to his bed. As Liam lay back reading a science fiction novel, with an illustration of a voluptuous space girl on the cover, I thumbed through a photo journal about the war in the pacific - like a lot of boys then, I had a bit of a fascination with pictures of ships and tanks, and GI's. After a while, Liam looked up from his book and turned on the lamp on his nightstand. Getting up, he walked over to the door and closed it. As he prepared to turn off the overhead light, he looked over at me. "Turn on your lamp, low." Something felt different. There was a calm intensity in his face and voice I wasn't familiar with. Following his direction - no, his command - I gave the stem on my lamp a twist. It clicked once and the three-way-bulb began to glow dimly. Liam switched off the ceiling light. Instead of going back to his bed, he walked up to mine. Standing close to me, next to my nightstand, the glow from my lamp lit up the fine blond hairs on his legs and stomach. There was a trail of slightly darker, thicker hair rising out of the top of his shiny green low-cut briefs, tapering upward and fading into the short downy hairs below his navel. I could feel his body heat on my skin. I used to be distrustful of my brother being this close to me. He was not often nice. But tonight, it felt very natural to be close. Gazing at his lightly muscled chest and stomach, and of course drawn to the tuberous shaft idly resting in the soft hammock of his underwear, above his right thigh, I was startled when he took hold of the gun metal drawer handle. Opening the drawer of my night table, he gently lifted my toy up by the closed end and looked at it. My ears felt hot as I began to flush with embarrassment. Not hearing any comment, I slowly looked up at his face; his expression wasn't accusatory. It was something else - bemused? "So this is what you play with at night. Show me what you do with it." He held it out to me. As I reached for the soft rumpled cylinder, he drew it back a little. Confused, I looked to his face for explanation. Catching my gaze, he tilted his head and swept his eyes down my body, lifting his chin a bit to complete the signal. I instantly understood. Hooking the waistband of my PJs with both thumbs, I rolled my knees up in a crunch movement and stripped off my shorts, laying them next to my pillow. As I lowered my legs, my painfully-erect dick pressed flat against my tummy, and my fat balls tingled in my tight dark scrotum. I slipped the thumb of my right hand between my shaft and body. Wrapping my fingers around from the base and pointing it away from my body, a bit of my thick shaft was still visible above my fist, below the slightly bigger flared head. Looking back to my brother, I watched in fascination as he extended his arm over my chest and began brushing the feathery fabric over my nipples. I moaned, twitched, and whimpered as he traced the gossamer edges back and forth down my body. "You like this huh?" "Oh, oh yess..." The sensations were so much more intense than when I did this to myself. My muscles flexed and jerked, my ass cheeks clenched and pulsed, and my knees pumped up and down involuntarily. Liam had a look of sheer jubilation on his face. His eyes shone brightly and he giggled like a mischievous child. It was almost like when he would tickle me until I was gasping for air, only now in a nice way. "Oh... Ah.. ahaa.." "Do you want me to stop?" "Aah, NO! Ple-ease no" "Shh. You're gonna wake Mom." Releasing my dick, I grabbed for my PJs and stuffed them into my mouth to quiet myself. Grunting and moaning, I writhed in contented agony and screamed through my shorts. "Mmff aah." I reached out my left hand and found Liam's thigh. He flinched, and stopped teasing me, when I gripped and squeezed him reflexively. I forced myself to relax my hand, flattening it against his inner thigh and caressed the soft hairs I found there. This worked as I had hoped; he resumed his gentle assault. Fighting my spasmodic muscle movements, I willed myself to maintain some control over my body. I moved my hand up Liam's leg and cupped his balls in my upturned palm like I was picking ripe fruit. I marveled at how they weighed down the pouch of his underwear and felt heavy in my hand. The way they moved so freely as I fondled them, too big to hold both in my small hand at the same time, felt so wonderful. Liam moaned out his approval. "O-oh fuuck_Yahh." Encouraged that he was liking what I was doing I rolled my palm around his fleshy balls and brushed up the front and over his hard shaft, still jutting to his right but pushing out against his underwear. My little finger catching under the prominent ridge of the big head brought out another long low moan. Embolden and excited, I wrapped my fingers over the head and traced my thumb around the underside of the ridge from the back to the pronounced crevice of his frenulum. "Uhua! No, stop." Liam stepped back and looked towards the ceiling with his face scrunched up. His thighs were squeezed together, and all the muscles of his abs and chest were contracted. He was holding his arms out to his sides a little and bent up at the elbow. His hands were facing palm out, still lightly clutching the rolled scarf in his left fingers. He shuddered, and panted. "Oh, fuck, hah...aah...whew. Fuck, that was close." As Liam stood breathing long and slow, I took him in. The length of his shaft and big mushroom head were fully outlined by the stretched fabric of his briefs, A small wet spot darkened the green cloth to mark the boundary of the outline at the top. Even though I was captivated by the spectacle, I observed to myself that while the length of my dick changed a lot when I got hard, except for getting fatter and the head getting more arrowhead-shaped, Liam's didn't seem that much longer. Seemingly recovered now, Liam stepped forward. Reaching down to my face with his right hand, he took hold of my PJs and slowly tugged them from my mouth. A string of saliva stretched from my lips to the soggy patch that had been in my mouth and glistened in the dim light. Lifting them to his mouth he rubbed the wet spot briefly against his lips then lowered them to his side. I felt like he had kissed me. "Hold your dick out again." I quickly did as he said. I was really liking the way he was directing me. It made me feel so safe and sure of myself. Holding the silk scarf with the open end facing down, he raised his right hand and extended his bird finger. Holding my PJs with his other fingers, he slipped his digit up into the velvet interior of my toy. Pumping his fist a little he opened up the end of the tube again. Aligning the toy directly above my raised dick, he lowered it ever so slowly onto my dick and twisted it as it slipped down my shaft. "You do it now." I took hold of the scarf enveloping my throbbing dick with my left hand. As I began pumping it lightly up and down, Liam retreated, walking backward, to his bed. Still gripping my shorts in his right hand, he sat on his bed and scooted back against the headboard. Placing his left palm on his stomach he smoothly slid his hand down. As it passed over his bulge, he snagged the top of his briefs with his thumb and stretched them down, tucking the band under his weighty balls and exposing his hard dick. His bright reading lamp was like a spotlight bathing his veiny shaft. Free from its bonds, his dick arched out from his belly, still leaning towards his right hip. He took hold of it, squeezing it once, then opening his hand and pushing it down with his thumb behind the head. Much more yielding than mine would be, he pushed down between his thighs and let it flip back up. It stopped short of slapping the soft brown patch of hair and bobbed back to its starting position. I was captivated, and just stared at him while holding the fabric loosely as my pulsing dick tried to rub itself inside the velvet tunnel. Liam switched off his light, causing the object of my attention to recede into the shadows. A loud whisper followed. "Keep going." I resumed lifting and dropping the scarf on my shaft. Unable to see Liam clearly, I began to focus on the sensations of the loose ends of the silk as they tickled my scrotum and inner thighs. Writhing a little from that sensation, I became aware of the firmer and slightly rougher velvet brushing the corona of my dickhead. Committed to my own pleasure now, I pumped more vigorously and rubbed up my body with my right hand. More whispered instruction emanated from the dark. "Suck your fingers." "Okay." "Yeah, like that." "Mmm." His confident instructions rang in my ears like it was Jaime telling me what to do. I began reaching deeper with my fingers, arching my back and pumping the plush tube in my hand. It was happening again, that jolt behind my balls, my butthole was twitching. "Mmm... Agaa..." "Yeah Ricky, Yeah. That's it, suck them harder." "Agaa... Mmm... " "Ooh fuuck, suck them... Yeah, suck, mehee! Ahaaa... Uh! Uh, uh... Gawd!" "What happened? what's wrong Liam? There was no response. Just the sound of Liam breathing fast. I just listened. Then after a minute or so, it became deep and slow. "Liam?" "Huh?" "What happened?" "Nothing, I just shot my load" "What do you mean? "Don't you shoot jizz yet?" "What's jizz?" "Here, catch." A moment later, my sleep shorts sailed towards me out of the shadows. Surprised, I quickly put my hands up to catch them, and missed. They landed in my left armpit with a light plop. Suddenly, I was inhaling the most amazing smell! It filled my nostrils and expanded in my head; a surge of energy or something seemed to radiate through my body right to that spot where the 'jolt' starts. Grabbing the PJs in my right hand, I brought them to my face and examined the pungent, sticky fluid on them - there was a lot of it. The smell was hard to identify, a little acrid, kind of like pool water and a bit of ammonia. I liked it. "This came out of your dick? Is it sperm?" "Yah, it has sperm in it. It's really called semen, but most guys call it jizz, or spunk" "Can you do it again? Will you show me?" "Maybe tomorrow, if you promise to do something for me." "Of course, I'll do whatever you want. Can we do it now?" "Tomorrow. Go to sleep." I turned off my light and lay down on my side. Pressing my nose into the damp smelly shorts, I located the scarf and rubbed it lightly over my tummy and groin. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep. Thanks for reading my story. I am open to feedback. Rick E. Racoon, Storybynovus@gmail.com