Date: Thu, 26 Oct 2000 07:19:13 -0400 From: Sidney Gittler Subject: Camp Au Naturel: Week 6 Mike walked into the bunk Monday morning of our next to last week and posted the week's activity schedule. Jake and Ally were the first ones there and a second later started high-fiving each other. Ally slid over to Mike and gave him a big kiss. "When's the sleepover?" Brett asked. "Tuesday night," Ally said with a huge smile across his face. "Thanks Mike, I know Mr. Adonis usually doesn't like overnights with this big an age difference." "I let George do most of the talking, after all it was his bunk who asked for it. Besides with three of you already dating three of them." "I'm not dating Lonnie, we're," Jake said and stopped. A puzzled look crossed his face, and then he sat down hard on Pedro's bunk. "You OK Jake?" Mike asked. A slow nod, "I guess I am dating Lonnie, it's not just sex. Holy shit." Somebody in the back started to snicker but Jake glared and silence fell. "Happens to the best of us Jake. That someone special sneaks up on you and grabs hold. You just hope you realize it before he lets go," Mike said softly as he squeezed Jake's shoulder. Jake just nodded and we finished cleaning the bunk around him. We were all quieter than normal. I know I was thinking about how some innocent sex play with Pete on opening day had progressed to, to what? Affection, caring, or is it love? Whatever it was I would have to wait till the sleepover to express it. Fortunately, Tuesday afternoon came fast enough. After our second afternoon activity period we went back to the bunk, took our last indoor dumps, got our gear together and got dressed. Yes dressed, well at least shorts and sneakers for the walk through the woods to the campground. We met bunk six on the way to pick everything up. While I wasn't surprised when Pete came over and took my hand or Lonnie took Jake's it did when I realized that both bunks had completely coupled off. Even Mike and George were walking close together and talking softly. I realized they could be plotting something but somehow doubted it. A half-hour later all eighteen of us were fully loaded and on our way. Even little Joey, Ally's boyfriend had his hands full. Though the bags of rolls were mere inches from the ground. There are three official campsites in the woods surrounding the lake. We were assigned to the largest and furthest because there were two bunks involved. This was my bunk's third overnight of the summer but first at this site. We marched halfway around the lake and after a five minute rest headed up the mountain. It was a different path than that opening week hike I told you about, an easier grade and wider. But before we reached the top we turned off onto another trail and after five minutes entered a huge clearing. "Food on the right side of the barbecue, Everything else to the left but not too close," George said and we rushed to follow instructions. I sighed when the pack finally slid off my shoulders, and glared when Mike took a fifty-pound bag of charcoal out of it. "Hey, who else is big enough to carry it?" Mike said. "I'm not carrying it out." "Nobody does, it stays until the last overnight of the summer next week. I'm sure I'll find something for you to carry out though." Mike and George divided us into groups and gave us our assignments and we hurried off to do them while they got the fire going. Pete, Pedro, his young amigo Hector, and I busied ourselves separating the half-frozen hamburgers and franks from each other. "Hey bro, can't we just make meat loaf?" Pete called while he struggled with a particularly difficult stack of burgers. "Stick them up your ass baby bro," Mike said. I caught the gleam in Pete's eye as he put the stack down. Slowly, sensuously he took his shorts off. He spread his legs. "Rod, you heard Mike. I'll shove them up there but you have to hold my cheeks apart." Pete picked up the meat, bent down and started moving the stack toward his delectable bottom. "Pete don't," Hector called and Mike turned around to look at his little brother. "Peter Allen, one more inch and I'll shove it up there and it'll stay in there till we get home," Mike snapped. "But you told me," Pete whined. "Just put your shorts back on before I toast your buns," George said. I have never seen Pete put clothes on that fast. An hour or so later everything was set up and the food was cooking. Everybody was still wearing shorts, don't want to get certain areas dirty you know. By the look of things the next orgasm wouldn't be the first of the trip for some of us. Pete wanted to wait till darkness gave us a measure of privacy. We sat around the barbecue eating, talking, snuggling, and finding out more about each other. When Pete finished eating he moved between my legs and leaned his bare back against my deeply tanned chest. I felt his body heat through both layers of cloth and my cock stirred. "Later," Pete said and snuggled further into me. "Then sit still." George picked up his guitar and started playing softly. A soft, magnificent voice started singing along. Seconds later a slightly deeper equally magnificent voice began harmonizing. We turned our heads and my jaw dropped as I saw it was Lonnie and Jake singing. Lonnie was facing Jake and I saw something new in Jake's eyes. "I don't believe it," Pete whispered. "Me too, he seems at peace for the first time." "I've never heard Jake sing before, and those voices," Pete fell silent and my arms hugged him to me. We sat and listened while we kissed, hugged, looked into each other's eyes and noticed couples around us doing the same. Bob and Ray paired up as did their younger dates, and all four seemed happier with their true loves. I don't know how long they played and sang, nor how many love songs. The sky darkened unnoticed. Their voices, one voice really, drifted to silence as the guitar played a soft medley. Pete and I broke our deep kiss and looked over and saw Jake and Lonnie locked in a deep embrace. Jake was planting small kisses wherever he could reach, Lonnie just held him tighter. A sniffle brought me back to my love. "What's up?" "Just so happy for both of them. Neither one's had it easy with his folks," Pete said. I brushed the tear away and brought his lips back to mine with a passion that passed the quiet romantic ones we'd been sharing. And felt it instantly returned. My hands felt his strong, firm back as his six-pack pressed into mine. Caressing his cloth-encased buns was especially arousing, to both of us. Pete's hard cock pressed into me, begging for release. "Bedtime," he whispered. "To sleep?" I asked as I thrust my hips into his. "Not on your life," he said while he squeezed my cock between his thighs. After a quick trip to the official piss area we undressed each other and slipped into my extra-large, extra-long sleeping bag. As arousing as feeling his shorts had been the heat of Pete's freed body was ten-times more. When his hot, moist mouth encircled my cock it was almost too much. "Gentle, gentle." My young love wasn't and I quickly filled his mouth, throat and stomach with my seed. When he was finished sucking me dry he moved up and we kissed. I tasted my scent inside him. I knew there'd have to be a way for us to see each other before next summer. "I told you we would find a way," Pete said and smiled. "I've got to remember your special talents my love." "What did you just call me?" "My love," I said and I think I was just as surprised, and happy as Pete. "Nobody's ever said that to me before." "That's good, because I've never said it before. Now let me pleasure my love." Our lips locked for a long moment and then started kissing my way down his hairless bronzed chest. I stopped at his left nipple to nip at it and Pete's teat rewarded me by coming to full erection. I sucked on it as I probably did my mother's breast, receiving the same emotional satisfaction, I thought as I moved to his right nipple and went to work on that tasty treat. His hands pushed me deeper into the depths of the sleeping bag. I paused for a short while to suck on his innie and Pete tried pushing me further. "No fucking way, you've got to move up," I whispered as my knees stopped bending. Pete moved the exact number of inches to bring his rock hard cock to mouth level. I started licking the head, tasting the musk-laden sweat. I savored the taste of boy hunk cock for a while and then slowly swallowed him. Once I had his full length in my mouth I sighed at the sexy flavors I was savoring. He slowly started thrusting deeper into my mouth and I matched his rhythm. Slowly Pete quickened and deepened his love making and I felt him getting closer to the edge. How I prayed to taste his cum. Right then I had to settle, though that's not the right word, to a strong dry orgasm that shook his entire body. While I enjoy sucking on him even after he's done, especially since he doesn't have to recharge it doesn't take long to re-orgasm. But this time I pulled off and swiftly stretched to my full length and got my head out of the bag and gasped the fresh air. Pete was still breathing hard and when he saw me gasping he laughed and started choking. I slapped him on the back and he recovered. We kissed and looked around the campsite. Of the eight other couples two were sleeping, another pair were talking. And then there was the foursome at the far side. I turned Pete that way and saw that Ally and Brett had opened their sleeping bags and brought them together so they were together with Joey and Robin. It was a beautiful site as well as hot as hell watching our four friends make love. Pete fumbled around and I heard a package rip. As he kissed me he unrolled the condom over my cock. I unzipped the bag a bit so he'd have air to breathe. My lover turned around and placed his hole just were it needed to be. I unfolded the bag just enough and slowly entered him. Once in I put my right arm around him, more to caress him than to hold him in place. "I could stay like this, right here forever," Pete whispered. I stroked his flat torso. "It gets awful cold up here." "You'll keep me warm and I'll keep you warm." "We could build a hut next to the barbecue. Hunt for meat." "There's only one piece of meat I'm interested in," Pete said and squeezed his ass muscles tight. "I'll feed it to you every morning and every night," I said as I started slowly stroking his insides. "What about the afternoon?" "You'll feed me yours," I said and started lengthening my strokes as I came to full erection. "Sounds like a plan," Pete said as I grabbed his erection and began stroking him in time to my gradually quickening thrusts. I felt my cockhead rub along his prostate gland and his cock twitch in my hand each time it did. The clouds parted and the moon seemed to shine on us alone. The dim light caressed Pete's face, and so did I. Pete reached up and took my hand in his. That simple, gentle touch brought me over the edge and I filled my love with my love. The moon went back in, I zipped the sleeping bag up and we slept. I sensed more than heard movement around us and tried to stay asleep. "Everybody up, everybody out of your bags now!" George yelled and before we could react Mike was kicking our bag. "We're coming, we're coming," Pete moaned. I stood and looked around as I helped Pete up and saw confusion on most faces, concern on the rest. I looked slowly around the campfire. Joey was missing. "Now once again Ally, what happened?" Mike asked. "Joey woke up some time during the night, had to take a leak. I offered to go with him but he said no. I pointed him in the right direction and told him I'd stay awake till he got back. But I didn't, couldn't hold my eyes open and now he's, he's," Ally slumped to the ground and started crying. Brett sat next to Ally, taking his love into his arms. Ally turned and buried his face into Brett's shoulder. "Look guys," George began, "we've got to look for Joey now. But we've got to be smart about it. Jake, can you find your way back by yourself and get help?" "Let me get my shorts and sneakers on and I'm gone," Jake said and went back to his bag. "Eyes and ears to me," George snapped. "Watch where you're going, make sure you can see at least one person on each side of you. If you find Joey yell. Everybody else will stay where they are and be quiet so Mike and I can get there fast. Understand?" I was at one end of the line and Mike the other as we walked away from the campsite, past the latrine area and into thicker trees and underbrush, then into an untended field. After fifteen minutes Mike called a halt. Pete came over as his older brother and George talked. "Pete, do you, you know." "Sense anything?" I nodded. "He's your friend." I watched as Pete closed his eyes. "There's something, but there's too many people around here to be sure." "Mike," I called. Mike and George started over but Pete put his hand out in the stop position and then pointed at his brother. Mike turned to George and came on alone. "Mike, Rod knows," Pete said. "You're OK with it?" Mike asked. "It's part of what makes him so special," I said. Mike looked at me, nodded. "Anything?" "Something, but too many people around to get a fix. Don't even know if it's him or even a person." "I'm not leaving you alone," Mike said. "Leave Rod, I can tell him from anyone else. Just have everybody start back and we'll stay behind." "Rod?" "When you get back to the tree line stay behind. I'll be able to spot you. And I'll take care of your bro," I said. "Thanks Mike," Pete said. I was confused but when Mike smiled I realized that Pete had read his thoughts. "What did Mike say?" I asked after Mike headed back to George. "None of your business love. Now hush and let me get ready." I watched as everybody else headed back. They'd moved twenty feet to the left to cover slightly different territory. With their concern none of our bunkmates noticed we weren't there. While I waited I scanned the area for anything out of place but didn't spot any. Suddenly Pete grasped my thigh and I turned around. "What is it?" Pete pointed on an angle back toward the campsite but off to the right. I stretched but didn't see anything. I took his right hand and led him through the grass. His left hand remained outstretched. If we detoured around a log or hole his hand moved back to his point. The need to ask was growing but I knew better than to interrupt. Don't know how I knew, just did. We approached a stand of trees and Pete slowed down. I looked down at Pete, afraid that he'd lost whatever it was we'd been following. There was a big smile on his face. "The bastards sleeping," he whispered. "Can you wake him?" Pete shook his head, "doesn't work that way, least for me. Let's go." I turned and saw Mike already running our way. It took Pete and me another few minutes to reach Joey. We knelt by the sleeping, snoring boy and looked for any obvious injuries. "How is he?" I whispered. "Scared, cold and expecting to get the shit beat out of him when discovered." Pete stroked Joey's hair and the boy stirred. "Come on Joey, wake up." The small naked boy's eyes flew open; he curled up and turned away from us. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I got lost, it was an accident." I felt his fear. Pete sat next to Joey and hugged him. "Nobody's going to hurt you, just happy you're all right." Joey looked into Pete's eyes. "Promise? Nobody's going to beat me for getting lost?" "No Joey, nobody's going to hurt you. We're not your daddy," Mike said as he slid by me. As Joey looked at us awareness flooded in. "You found me, how'd you do that." "Heard your snoring and figured it was either you or a chainsaw," I said, "Can you walk or do you want me to carry you back?" Joey struggled to his feet and stretched. "I'll walk." "Don't worry about what you said before, and we won't tell your daddy either," Pete said. "How did you know?" "I'm your friend and I'm ten. Now move that butt before I kick it into gear," Pete said, laughed and ran off. Joey ran after him and Mike and I stared after them. "He is amazing at times. Let's go, I'm hungry," Mike said. Halfway there we caught up with the younger boys. Joey looked at me and something clicked. "Ally?" "You are about to make him the happiest boy on Earth," I said. Joey smiled and picked up the pace. The four of us went charging into the woods and when Pete started a war cry the three of us picked it up. Everybody was standing as we broke into the clearing and Ally tore out of Brett's arms and bear hugged Joey. "I'm fine Ally, I'm fine." "I should have gone with you, I was so, so scared," Ally wept. Running footsteps distracted me from the scene. I turned in time to see Jake lead Bunk 20, the oldest bunk, and its counselor into the clearing. "Bruce, what you doing here?" Mike called. "I found them leaving the first campsite. Figured it would save time," Jake panted. "Sent Kip down to camp," Bruce added. "Thanks, but we found Joey. He just got back, and if Ally will let him breathe he can tell us what happened," George said. Joey repeated what he'd told us, and included my line about hearing his snoring. Jake looked at Pete, shook his finger and smiled. "He know?" I asked. "Always accused me but I never confirmed it." "I think you just did, but he'll keep quiet." We watched him head over to Lonnie and give his boyfriend a kiss. Pete raised his arms and I lifted him till we were eye-to-eye, and just as importantly mouth-to-mouth. "Thanks Rod, I wanted to help but didn't know how. I've lost too much," Pete whispered. I shut him up with a kiss. Our tongues invaded each other mouths. I felt his need and let him draw it from me. I carried him to a corner of the campsite as the three counselors started making breakfast for twenty-four hungry boys. We sat there kissing and hugging until Ally and Joey brought us heaping plates of bacon and eggs. "Thanks guys," I said as I took the plates and forks. "I want to thank you. I don't know if you really heard my snoring or you figured it out another way, don't matter. I was scared out there, think I cried myself to sleep. Woke up in middle of the night and wasn't sure what to do. Thinking about my Dad got me thinking about heading out, getting really lost for good. Then I thought about all of you guys in the bunk, and especially Ally." Joey looked up at Ally and got a smile in return. So I stayed. Knowing now how worried all of you were." Joey collapsed into Ally's arms bawling. "Joey, I want you to listen to me," Pete said. He stopped crying and bobbed his head. "Look at me." Joey did. "You're daddy." "You promised you wouldn't tell. Joey jumped to near panic. "We promised and we won't. But I need the truth. Does your father beat you, verbally abuse you, anything like that?" Joey nodded, "He drinks and when he comes home drunk he hits and kicks me. He says my name is Shit and I have to answer to it." "Your mother?" "Gone," Joey said. "Do you want to go home to him after camp is over?" "No place else to go." "I think right now you have a lot of choices," I said. "Could always use a younger brother," Pete said. Mr. Adonis, the camp's owner, showed up at that moment. "Status?" "They found me Sir." Joey said. "You all right son?" Mr. Adonis asked hurrying over. Joey nodded. "Sir, when we get back we all got to talk. Joey needs help getting away from an abusive father," Ally said. "Is that true Joey? It's a very serious charge," Mr. Adonis asked gently. "Yes Sir," Joey said in a barely audible whisper. "Ally?" "Yes Joey, what is it?" "Can I go home with you?" "Got to talk to my folks about that but I'm not letting you out of my life no matter what." "What about Brett?" Ally laughed and kissed Joey's forehead. "Brett would be awfully upset if his lover walked away from someone he cares about and who needs him," Brett said and put an arm around each boy's shoulders and slowly led them away. "Damn it, I thought this was the summer," Mr. Adonis said. "Sir?" I said. "Sorry, I've been going to, working at and running camps for almost my whole life. Every summer there's a boy like Joey. With less than two weeks to go I thought maybe the streak would end." I didn't know what to say. "Rather it kept going than it end because nobody found out. Good work boys," Mr. Adonis said and headed over to the counselors. I looked at Pete and he raised his hands again. This time he buried his head in my shoulders and I felt tears flowing. "Why the tears, we did good today?" "Six weeks together and I never sensed anything wrong." "Because for six weeks there was nothing wrong. No father to be scared of every night. Last school year we had a speaker on abuse. Once we recovered from looking at the pictures the guy said one thing that totally blew my mind." "What?" Pete asked as he turned his head toward me. "Most abused kids are great actors away from the abuser. `Everything's fine,' `the bruise is from falling on the steps,' `Daddy would never hit me.' Shit like that. A lot will even fight being removed from the abuser when it's discovered. What counts my love is that we, you got him to open up before his father took seven weeks of anger out on him." "Eleven of us and I don't remember anything more than a single slap on the butt and only if we really went over the line. I turned him and brought my lips to his and we resumed the deep kissing and hugging that Ally and Joe had interrupted when they brought breakfast. A breakfast we hadn't eaten a rumble in the tummy reminded me. "In the mood for cold eggs and bacon?" Pete started giggling and squirming in my arms. As we sat and quietly ate cold runny eggs and charcoal burnt bacon I surveyed the campsite. Everybody had spread out into their couples, and it felt wrong. I stood and Pete gave me a look. "Need to get everybody back together, enough thinking." "Yeah," Pete stood and as we caught our friends' eyes we motioned them to the center of the campsite. "Hey George, get that guitar and play some rock," Pete yelled. "I'm not," George started. "Yes you are, it's fun time," Mike said and gave him a kiss before handing him the guitar. "Now play my friend, play." He started of softly and I took Pete in my arms and we began to dance but the music picked up quickly and we switched to a different kind of dancing. Pairings merged and changed. Each of us playing off each other. At one point Ally and Joey joined me and Brett and the smiles on their faces dissolved all fears. After a while the music paused and when it resumed it was a slower pace. I turned and saw Mr. Adonis had taken the guitar and Mike and George were dancing. Lonnie waved and headed over to Jake and Pete returned a second later. Yes there's awkwardness in dancing with the big height difference, but I didn't give a damn. It felt so good to have Pete tight against me, knowing he felt good about being in my arms. It took a couple of days for things to get back to normal. Oh we went right back into our normal schedule Wednesday afternoon but it wasn't until after supper Thursday, a softball game under the lights against Bunk 13 that the overnight really faded into the background. Part because it was our fifth game of the season and each bunk had won two. The two counselors had decided on an incentive. The fifth and deciding game would be suck softball. As other activities ended the stands started filling with naked boys and staff of all ages. Even without the blow jobs as a reward it was a great game. After the regulation six innings the game was tied at six. After nine it was still tied and we were exhausted, and a look across the way showed the other bunk was slow heading out to the field for the tenth. The stands were also filled with the other 144 campers and every staff member. I went over to Jake and Ally. I whispered my suggestion and they called everybody else over. With a unanimous decision Jake headed out to the mound and talked with one of his numerous sex-partners, pre-Lonnie of course. The pitcher turned and waved his teammates in and they talked at second while we congregated at home. The pitcher turned, "by position?" "At position," Jake said. "Let's do it. OK guys, go man your position. There's going to be a lot of balls flying." "You heard the man, we've got to go catch half of those balls," Jake shouted and sprinted to third. Before I headed over to first base I reset the home score to zero. There was confusion in the stands for a minute till somebody said "sixty-nine? Sixty-Nine!" Ah what the hell did you think this pervert would come up with? A hell a lot more than I bargained for, that's what. My opposite number was already there when I arrived at first. "Cool idea buddy," he said as we mashed fists. I gave him a quick kiss, "thanks. Now let's do it." "Yeah," he said and stuck his tongue down my throat. We separated and eased to the ground. My head was resting on first base as seven inches of uncut boy meat made their presence known. I welcomed those inches in the nicest way possible all the way down my talented throat. He reciprocated naturally, and most pleasantly. My cock responded as his had. By becoming longer, thicker and a hell of a lot harder. He, and to be honest I forget his name, started leaking precum which helped lubricate the process. We were really getting into it when a rumble startled us. Thunder? We lifted our heads and saw the stands emptying. I started to get up when something fell; no someone jumped on me. "You're not going anywhere," Pete shouted. I looked around and saw naked boys claiming spots on the field, and staff too. A large shadow blocked out the lights. "This your idea pervert?" "Who else Andre?" "Just get down here honey and make it a four way," my fellow first baseman said. Andre knelt down and looked at Pete. "You're Mike's kid brother right?" "Yeah," Pete said. "Took my cherry with that big cock of his three years ago." "Cool, but it's too late to return the favor." "Look, the two of us were busy before you guys showed up. So while we get back to work put your cocks where they belong," I said. I swallowed a still hard cock and felt Pete's hands spreading my cheeks. I almost bit down when I felt Pete's tongue at my hole. Man I wanted him in me but I concentrated on the cock in my mouth. A gasp blew hot air around my cock and realized that Andre was having his own fun. The cock in my mouth started dripping precum, and so did mine. The tongue at my hole pressed through my sphincter and I started humping a hot mouth harder and faster. And so did he. The tongue disappeared and was replaced by two fingers that started massaging my prostate. I filled that hot mouth with my cum. And swallowed his load. When we were both drained dry we separated and turned to our lovers. Pete and I kissed and I swallowed his rock hard, throbbing cock. "Oh yes, you make me feel so good. Suck lover, suck my cock off." I'd never want to do that, but I started sucking faster and harder on his boy cock. He tasted so much better than the last cock. And that I knew was because of love versus sex. Don't get me wrong, I'd suck that cock again. But only if Pete wasn't around. He kept his hands on the side of my head to keep my mind on his cock, but my tongue was doing that job very well. I drank sweet boy sweat dripping from his cock and balls. I felt his rod throbbing in my mouth. Sensed his growing excitement, and held his legs as he came in my mouth. A long hard orgasm that left him collapsed on the field. I sat and drew him up on my lap. After a long, loving kiss we turned and surveyed the ball field. Andre was plowing his boyfriend. Over at third Lonnie was sucking Jake who was caressing his first true boyfriend's body. In right Ally, Joey, Brett and Robin have set up a daisy chain. Timothy Robins runs by and gives Pete and I a quick kiss and then jumps into a pile of bunkmates. The sound of sex comes from everyplace the lights touch, and probably just beyond. Pete and I sat stroking each other's cocks, enjoying sounds that ranged from pure sex to pure love. Pretty soon we started ignoring everybody else and moved into our own sixty-nine. Slowly we started to work, no make love to each other. Enjoying each other's bodies with our hands and mouths. Our hearts. It took a while but we orgasmed together. I kept his dry orgasm going as he drained my balls. When we separated the PA system blared. "Parties over folks, curfew in ten minutes. Now move those buns." Friday afternoon Pete and I both had the same free period, and I guess you know what path we walked down. And what we intended to do. We were cuddling, kissing and gently stroking each other when Pete stopped in mid-stroke and picked his head up. "What?" I said. "Hush," he said. "Mike's on the path looking for us. Sighing I released my lover and he went out and brought Mike back. "This better be good," I said. "I'm not sure if it's good, but it is important and something we need to talk about in private." "Everybody OK?" Pete asked as he clutched my hand. "Yes, but this is one of those good news, bad news kind of things. The good news is that dad finally got that big promotion he's been waiting for." "Great, what can be bad about that?" I said. "We've got to move," Pete answered. "To Northfield, we move a week after we get home," Mike said. "Northfield, as in Northfield, Michigan?" I asked. Mike nodded. "Well that solves that problem," I said and kissed Pete. Pete turned to me, hesitated, and said, "you're kidding?" "Guys!" Mike said. "Sorry bro, you tell him Rod." "I can ride my bike anyplace in Northfield in under twenty minutes from my house. Two towns even use the same high school." "Cool, now there's only one problem left with you two," Mike said. "We'll work on it, now get out of here while Rod and I still have a little time left." Mike left and Pete locked the gate. "Blow me lover," I said, and he did. Concluded in Week 7