Date: Sat, 14 May 2022 13:09:00 +0100 From: Andrew Passey Subject: Coming Out Part Nine (Young Friends) In the days following the match I actually spent a fair bit of time with Jamie. He'd sometimes hang out with us at lunchtime and I had one lot of football practice with him as well as in theory a match. Although the school we were supposed to be playing for my second game dropped out at literally the last minute so we had a small practice match instead. I felt like I was settling into the team well and that was definitely due to Jamie involving me in everything. Whether it was a protective arm around my shoulder or him telling me how good I was I definitely felt like he was improving my self confidence and not just at football. Having a popular boy take me under his wing meant I got a much easier time from any potential bullies. Now it was really just the odd gay insult and shout by boys from my year. I no longer felt like I might be physically threatened. I think what happened to Henry helped and he was definitely acting like his wings had been clipped post school suspension. I suspect he was on his final warning that if he fucked up again that might be it. After the impromptu football practice in lieu of an actual game , Jamie and I talked about films we liked as we crossed the playground. As we exited the school to my surprise Jamie didn't turn right for the bus but started walking my way, "You don't live this way!" I pointed out. Well done Captain Obvious, after all Jamie clearly knew where he lived! "Yeah but I can't go home with you labouring under the misapprehension that Marvel films are any better than any other whizz bang superhero movie!" Jamie said continuing the minor disagreement we'd had about Marvel films! "They are though! There's so many different movie types in there!" I protested. "What like the one where the rich one spends money being a superhero, or the strong one smashes up stuff and the flying one flies around?" "Ha ha, very funny. Have you even watched all the films?" "Actually I've only watched Thor and that was shit. Oh and Venom which was also shit with Tom Hardy redefining overacting." "Venom isn't even a Marvel film, it's Sony!" "Same thing isn't it?" Jamie said with a wink at me. "No!! So you're missing out! There's Ant Man which is a heist movie, Captain America 2 is a Cold War 70s style thriller, Guardians of the Galaxy a space opera, Thor Ragnorak a comedy, Iron Man...What why are you smiling?" I asked suspiciously. Jamie shrugged, "It's just...it's nice to see you happy and passionate about something. I know you've got football as well but I remember when I first met you with your black eye from that wanker Henry. You looked so lost and broken, you virtually shrunk into your seat. It's nice to see you smiling and looking happy. It's nice to see your face light up when you talk about these films." "Well you need to watch all the films so you can then argue from a position of knowledge rather than just repeating edgy talking points you found on Reddit !" I said with a smile. "Maybe we should watch them together? You can make sure I watch them in the right order." "Good idea!" I said enthusiastically. Wow, watching films with Jamie, just the two of us, that would be pretty amazing. Many hours of us sitting next to each other just hanging out watching films. The sort of thing I would love to do with him. Yes I got to hang out with my best mates all the time but this was different. Even though I knew nothing would happen it would still be nice to spend time with someone I really fancied! "No talking or explaining the plot though, let me work it all out for myself. If there's a plot that is!" "Haha very funny. Well we could start this weekend?!" I asked very optimistically but thought I might as well press an advantage when you have it. Jamie sighed, "Not possible I'm afraid, got family stuff Saturday and catching up with my girlfriend Sunday." So the rumours were true. No surprise I guess, any girl (or gay boy!) would want Jamie as their boyfriend. I knew that he was just a friend but still, just hearing those words did hurt slightly. "So what films do you like?" I asked changing the subject. Last thing I wanted to talk about was Jamie's girlfriend. "Anything good so definitely nothing by Michael Bay! But good films by good directors. Christopher Nolan, Denis Villeneuve. That sort of thing. I loved Arrival, Interstellar oh and I absolutely loved Dune. Blade Runner is one of my favourites as well, the directors cut though not the morose voiceover in the original one." "Oh wow me too! I am a massive sci-fi geek. Do you read as well?" I asked excitedly and feeling pleased that we had something else in common. "No I can't read." "What?!" I asked in shock. "Of course I read you fucking idiot! "Do you read?" What sort of question is that? I spend all day in school don't I!" "I mean for pleasure! Reading books is the most pleasurable thing you can do pretty much!" Okay so at this stage my enthusiasm had a bit out of control and had caused me to massively over-exaggerate. Jamie laughed, "Sam, are you really sure that reading books is the "most pleasure thing" a teenage boy can do? Really?! I mean I do like to read but there's something all teenage boys do that I do every day that gives me a bit more of an instant pleasure hit than reading a chapter of a book does!" I blushed bright red at the thought of Jamie wanking which is clearly what he was talking about. "Uh yeah, good point!" "On that note I better go home and maybe get an instant pleasure hit! It was great to chat and I'm looking forward to proving you wrong about all those Marvel films!" I said goodbye and watched him head off back down towards the school and his bus stop. Things were going really well between us. If he was feeling comfortable enough to subtly mention wanking then I reckon we were well on our way to being good friends. Half of my jokes and conversations with Jorge and Olly were smutty wanking or sex ones so it was nice that Jamie felt he could say those sort of things to me as well. The girlfriend thing was disappointing but it wasn't a shock. I always knew that he was supposed to have one and who was I kidding anyway? Anybody in the closet at school wasn't going to start a relationship with me. The openly gay boy boy from year nine. Just hanging out with me was suss enough I bet. I fully expected I would be single until I was able to go to university or something like that. Which I guess was fine. I was only thirteen after all. My birthday was fast approaching so for a few weeks I'd be the same age as Jamie but then he'd be fifteen and I'd be fourteen. School was going to be a trial I needed to get through for the next few years before I was free of all the homophobic bollocks. I got home, took my clothes off, lay on my bed and as Jamie said got an "instant pleasure" hit! I wondered if he was doing the same thing as I was at that moment? The thought of that made me really hot and horny. It was funny to think at the same moment I was wanking, thousands, probably millions of boys all over the world were doing it at the same time. A worldwide collective orgasm! After I cleaned up I felt a bit of guilt that it was Jamie I was thinking of. He was a friend after all, but then again maybe he'd be flattered? I know I was gay so it was a bit different but I wondered if I'd ever be someone's wank fantasy? And if I was I'd be very very flattered! Over dinner later that evening Mum quizzed me on how school was going. I know she was still really worried about me.No surprise really, after all I'd come home with that swollen face and massive black eye. I knew it hurt her the way I'd been treated. "So no more bullying?"she asked when I said things were fine, I hesitated slightly, I didn't want her to worry but I also didn't see the point in lying. "Not really, a little bit of name calling, sly comments, that sort of thing but that's school isn't it. I don't think I'll ever stop having some boys calling me names. I've got allies, I've got friends, I've got people on my side. Things were really really bad a few weeks ago but things are looking up. I've joined the football team, I'm in the SPB, at times I'm very far out of my comfort zone but as Jamie said life is about taking risks." "I think that's the most words you've said to me for a couple of weeks!" Mum said with a smile which blatantly wasn't true. We always talked over dinner even if admittedly a lot of my answers would be non committal and there was usually liberal use of the teenage classic "fine" when parents asked how things were! "Who is Jamie?" Mum asked. I explained he was at the SPB and we'd become friends and how he persuaded me to join the football team. "Hmm well he sounds nice but be careful around all this talk about taking risks. Teenagers are infamous for taking risks and it often backfires. If someone asks you or suggests you do anything you're uncomfortable with then just say no. Even if you worry you come across as boring you don't want to end up in the hospital because you weren't brave enough to say no!" "Mum! Leave Sam alone!" Tom said. "He's sensible, Jamie is sensible. No one is about to take any crazy risks. I think Jamie was referring to Sam taking the risk of joining the football team when he knew the whole school knew he was gay." I nodded and Mum sighed, "Sorry boys, I know you're both growing up and it's sometimes hard for me to let go and not be overprotective. I guess what I want to say is that risk taking isn't inherently good. So for example Tom, having unprotected sex with Alice would be taking unnecessary risks and definitely not what life is all about! You do NOT want to become a father aged sixteen!" "Mum!" Tom protested as I spluttered water over the table in amusement. "I'm just saying, be responsible and use condoms! Both of you!" She then laughed at us both, "honestly your faces are so red I could warm the house with heat coming off them. Just showing that your silly old Mum can still make her son's blush with embarrassment when she wants to! Now who wants pudding?" I'll give it to her, she did a very good job! Condoms though, not something I would need to worry about for many a year...