Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2008 00:53:36 -0500 From: J.J. Subject: Constantin-chapter 14 Warning: The following disclaimer is partly recycled. If illegal due age or place of residence to read materials found at this website, please do not continue. If offended by such material, do not continue. And I don't want any mean people reading this story AND... if you're hoping the two main characters in this story DO meet up with a bear... then that is very damn insensitive, in fact it is just downright MEAN. They've got enough problems as it is, you know. So. Let's see if we can get them out of this fix they're in, OK? Constantin chapter 14 LATER I found out that if you're hiking in the wilderness there are ten basic items you should never be without: map, compass, headlamp, extra food, extra clothing, first aid kit, pocket knife, waterproof matches, water and a whistle. So we were 0 for 10 on this deal. No wait, what's that EXTRA shit? 0 for 12 then. And it was also suggested that you always exercise common sense (0 for 13) and someone else should know where you plan to go (now just how in the fuck were we going to do that when we didn't know where we were in the FIRST damn place?) (0 for 14) and above all, don't panic. Yeah and HA! (To that part.) OK, let's start over, then. Take a deep breath and think: What to do if you're lost in the woods without your clothes on. Well... first you need to stop and take inventory. So, fact number one, there was a good chance we were fucked. I sort of figured that, but Constantin was kind enough to reassure me. "We're fucked," he said calmly. Yeah, but exactly how MUCH so? Oh well, if we are, we are. So let's move on to some other concerns. So OK then. If you're totally lost then it probably would be a good idea if you stopped getting yourselves even MORE lost. If you stay put in one place then that's less area the search party will have to cover. Hopefully no more than 640,000 square acres. No wait, the others know ABOUT where they saw us last, so it's not quite that bad. But speaking of the others, well, they were kind of fucked, too. Because explaining how this started in the first place... I mean, they didn't have to mention EVERY damn thing but the part about our clothes... well, that was still going to be fairly hard to explain and - "Well, we DON'T have our clothes, so you might as well stop worrying about it because there isn't anything we can DO about it," he cut in. "We'll just tell whoever finds us that it was an initiation, OK?" So as long as the others involved were going with the same story it MIGHT work, but he was right, it wasn't going to do any good worrying about it. We were fucked, so we might as well just put it out of our mind. "So OK," he continued, "while it's still daylight we need to find some sort of shelter if we can-" "But not in a cave. ... If we come across a cave, that's OUT" I quickly added. Just in case he'd forgotten about the bear problem. They hibernate in caves, I was pretty sure about that. "Right" he agreed, "Not in a cave. ... Which really doesn't leave us a lot of options, but... Well, I figure we've got a little over an hour of daylight left. Once it gets dark, that's it, no matter where we are, we've got to stay put because in the dark we could walk right off the side of the mountain, you know?" "Yeah, I know," I said quietly. It really did seem pretty hopeless, but at least whatever we had to endure, it would be the two of us. And if I had to die at least I'd be in his arms when I did it. And I didn't even want to think about the possibility of HIM dying. Well, I did think about it, but I think that was mostly the brownies talking. And come to think of it, that was probably the reason why we got lost in the first damn place, but at any rate I took a deep breath and said, "Well, maybe if we turn around... I mean, I have no idea WHICH way we should go, but we'll just have to keep an eye out. ... Maybe we'll find something." Inside I didn't feel very hopeful but at least I tried to be. Hopeful. It might be only because I was sometimes full of myself, but when asked what I believed in, I would say I believed in the power of belief. It's hard to explain, but I think there are times like that for everybody. But I wasn't praying, I was hoping. And I kept reminding myself that I loved him and he loved me. Nothing was going to change that, I wasn't going to give in. So I was "sort of" praying. Or hoping. Whatever. Directed to whatever higher power might be out there and was paying some attention, "I am not going to stop loving him. I hope you understand that, but then you already do, right? I know we were stupid but none of us meant to hurt anybody. So anyway, if there's a way out of this... well, I'll try a little harder to be a good person, OK? And Constantin will too. I'm pretty sure he will. And I'll mention it to him when I get the chance. But you know... well, could you please... well... make this work out OK?" If you're not going to be DOGMATIC about it, then that does make believing in "the power of belief" a bit uncertain... to say the least... but whatever, about five minutes later Constantin said, "Hey! Do you see what I see?" Well now that he mentioned it, YES! I DID see... something. Which might turn out to be absolutely nothing, I reminded myself, but let's check it out. (So I guess you can surmise that it wasn't a burning cross in the sky.) And it also wasn't a burning arrow saying "Follow me", nothing like that, but it did turn out to be an improvement. Because the reflection we saw glinting through the trees was off the windshield of a long ago abandoned truck. It must've been there for 30 years at least. I have no idea how it got there, but there it was. Rusted out, tires long since rotted away, windshield cracked and turning green, but right then it looked like the Sheraton Inn to us. Unless maybe bears sometimes hibernated in old Chevy trucks. We peeked cautiously inside. Nope, no bear. A lot of cobwebs but we could clean those up and LOOK! A raggedy old quilt. About to fall apart as it turned out, but we were SAVED! Or at least it was an improvement. Not that we got much sleep that night, I might've dozed off for about 30 minutes or so, but even so I kept reminding myself that it could have been worse. If that old quilt wasn't very warm, it was better than nothing. And if the seat was hard and lumpy, it was better than trying to sleep on the ground or at the foot of a tree. And we had each other to cuddle up to, we spent the night almost GLUED to each other. We didn't spend the night having sex though. I did notice that he seemed to be awfully tense, as in, "Hey! Did you hear that?", "Shit, I don't hear anything", "Well just listen then, it sounded like something's coming this way" ... "Nah. Well, it could've been a deer or something" "Well it didn't sound like no deer to me"... and so on until finally I said, "Well, maybe this will help you relax some"... and it did. For awhile. A quick blow job always helps, but you know what? He wasn't one bit hard when I started. So that took my mind off things for awhile as well. Seldom was I able to feel him getting hard in my mouth, so that was a nice bonus. And the fact that even after I started, he wasn't always giving me his undivided attention helped prolong things. But it helped pass time. Because it was a VERY long night. I guess I thought it was about to start getting daybreak from about... 10:30 maybe? Who knows? I just know that was the LONGEST night... But it was also over too soon. Because I kept wondering if this was going to be our last night. I wasn't TOO worried about us dying out there, but I couldn't help thinking about what was going to happen after we were found. We would have no idea what the others told the authorities. I was pretty sure it wouldn't be close to the truth, but we wouldn't know what they told them, so if our story didn't match, then what? And even under the best of circumstances, getting ourselves lost wasn't going to make us look too responsible... and I could go on with all this... but I won't. Because I don't know how much of my worrying was prompted by those brownies anyway. No, I'll just say that if it was going to be our last time (at least up until we were old enough to make our own decisions) I was determined to get as much out of it as I could. I wanted to remember everything like it was the first time, the softness and warmth of his thighs, his smooth wrinkled balls, his ass, the feel of his still soft and downy pubes, his hard little nipples, running the tip of my tongue down into his navel, the soft crevice of his ass checks pressing against my fingers, the smell (which was a little pungent by then)... and his penis. With that wonderful nozzle. Maybe this time I could slip my tongue down a little further inside... so we both got some enjoyment out of it... But mostly I just wanted to hold him. And for him to hold me. Just that. The first time was joy like I'd never experienced, but thinking it might be the LAST time... I just wanted to hold him. Maybe I could remember that without crying. 14-year-olds are good at tragedy. Or at least they're good at FEELING tragic... or at least I sure was, but... When the sun finally started coming up (too soon) and he wanted me to fuck him right THEN, well, I was feeling a bit melancholy at the time, so him bouncing up and down on my pole and squealing cheered me up quite a bit. It seemed to be doing wonders for both of us. Things were starting to look a little better. You could feel it in the air, it felt like Spring again. And this was going to be a GOOD one! I was getting close, I was...and then... could it be? Could it possibly BE? Yes! We heard Isac and Jesse! And it didn't sound like they were very far away, either. Just a couple hundred yards as it turned out. Amazing! Just a few hundred yards off the trail and you would swear you were MILES from ANYwhere! And I'm sure at some point the evening before we WERE a long ways off, but would you believe it? We had almost blundered our way back. And it was Isac and Jesse! NOT the Park Service! Oh joy! Oh JOY! Constantin just started BOUNCING with joy! And kissing me... it was SPECTACULAR! But anyway, we were soon yelling back at them. A bit out of breath, but it was, "Isac! Jesse! We're... here!", and they seemed pretty excited and then we sauntered out. Looking relieved, but hey, no problem. WE had spent the night in the woods without any clothes on and WE made it just fine. "Yeah, well WE spent the night in an OUTHOUSE!" shot back Isac. He seemed both relieved and aggrieved. While Jesse looked to be both relieved and a bit sheepish. Or maybe a little worried. Oh, and they DID have our clothes with them, by the way. I don't think I've EVER been so relieved to get INTO my clothes in all my life. But I guess you might be wondering exactly how and WHY they ended up spending the night in an outhouse. And after a while so were we, so they told us. It was getting pretty close to dark and we hadn't showed up yet. And I've just now thought of something. Exactly when we they going to give us our clothes back if we HAD showed up, anyway? I mean, were we supposed to walk through the campsite naked? Or were we supposed to hide behind some bushes or something right at the edge of the campsite and whisper real loudly "Hey! Yeah you... but don't LOOK!... But ummm, could you tell those guys over at 4-B to ummm... well, could you ask them to come over here for a minute?" Damn! That IS a good question! And nobody even thought about that. So I guess you can blame that on the brownies, too. But whatever, it was getting close to dark. So they decided to go looking for us. Isac and Jesse. The twins were supposed to stay at the campsite in case we showed up in the meantime. And they had already decided NOT to let the park rangers or anybody else know about it until at least the next morning because nobody was likely to start looking for us until then anyway and besides that, we didn't have our clothes on. Which in a way seems a bit irresponsible, but then on the over hand it doesn't. But anyway, Isac and Jesse walked and walked and walked. And of course they were calling out to us, but at last they decided they should probably turn around because it was dark by then. And THEY were getting a little worried about the possibility of a bear too. They said they were worried about us, really, they WERE, but at the same time... THEY were the ones the street preacher was pissed off with in the first damn place... and then... they HEARD... well, maybe it wasn't really a bear... but it sure was SOMETHING... Never venture out into the wilderness while under the influence of ANYTHING. Never EVER! But anyway, they had just passed by one of those outhouses and that's where they headed fast as they could and that's where they stayed until it got light again. They heard all KINDS of noises during the night. So they hadn't gotten any sleep either. Oh, and one other thing. Jesse confessed to us about what was in those brownies. (He had already mentioned that to Isac while in the outhouse.) But we had MADE him share... and he had no idea things were going to turn out like they did, so... could we forgive him? I mean, we did understand, right? And he did seem sorry and we sure had been glad to see them and spending the night in an outhouse seemed like punishment enough, so OK, it would just be between us. "But I don't know what the big deal about getting high is, anyway," Constantin said, "because it ain't worth a SHIT! I thought it was supposed to make you feel good or something." "It's a lot better if you smoke it," said Jesse sadly. "I used half a bag on those brownies and now I don't have any more." "Well, GOOD!" said Constantin, "You shouldn't be doing that shit anyway!" Isac put his arm over Jesse's shoulder, squeezed it and said, "He'll try not to do it so much from now on, so it's just between us, OK?" Up until then I always thought Isac would never find that one person to fall in love with; I just assumed he wasn't looking for that. And maybe he hadn't, but it looked like he'd found it anyway. So I was happy for them. And we were REAL happy that they found us... so like I said, all was forgiven. When we got back the twins were still sound asleep. But they HAD been really worried, that's the very first thing they said when we woke them up. And I'm sure they were. At least a little. We didn't venture very far into the woods for the rest of our stay, though. A good deal of the time was spent in the tent playing Monopoly. And to think, bringing that game along had seemed to be a complete waste of time. But that's OK, it was fun anyway. We did take time out for some quiet sex, but overall we were surprisingly well behaved. We were relieved, that's what we were. That and thankful. I mean, it could have been a lot worse. I don't know how it was with the others, but with me and Constantin it was like we knew no matter how illogical the beliefs we'd been brought up with were, the little kid inside of us was never going to go away completely, that's just the way it was. So we'd just have to manage as best we could. Which shortly before we were to head back home we did. Saturday morning we made another trip into town. We went to McDonald's. Then we picked up a bag of marshmallows, some more hot dogs and few other items and then on our way back we saw the street preacher again. Still carrying on just like before. We cheerfully waved. And that's ALL. But he started yelling. I don't know what he was saying because we were on the other side of the street, but we could tell his mood hadn't improved much so we gave him the finger. All of us did. We were still cheerful about it and then we went away and the earth swallowed him and his sign board up. Oops. You can safely assume you've created God in your own image if he hates the same people you do. And that's my thought for the day. I just wanted to throw that in, that's all. And OK, I made up the part about the earth swallowing him up. o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 It's funny how things work out sometimes though. When I got back home my old man said he wanted to talk to me. Later after we ate. I wasn't in any trouble he quickly added (correctly interpreting my look of concern), it was going to be a family conference. Mom already knew about it, but he wanted us all together. Only I WAS in trouble. Big time. Because while I was off camping, my mom had convinced him to attend a revival service at our church. The one I didn't have to go to anymore. AND he'd gotten "under conviction" (a heady mixture of guilt and fear) and rededicated his life to The Lord. He hadn't touched a drop since that night. The flashbacks were gone. Which was good for him and my mom, but learning that from now on WE would be attending church Sunday morning (both Sunday School and the worship service) Sunday night (both the Young Pioneers and the evening Evangelistic Service) and WEDNESDAY night (prayer meeting)... plus every night there was a revival going on was not good news for me. And it got worse. He didn't want me hanging out with Isac anymore. He seemed to be a nice boy, but he was Jewish. So he was an unbeliever. And of course that ruled out Jesse as well. It ruled out in advance Tyndal who was Catholic. It even ruled out the twins who were Episcopalian because Episcopalians were too liberal. All that talk about diversity was just a camouflage for not believing in much of anything. (Yeah, I guess we were fairly Ecumentical at that.) And he really thought I was spending too much time with Constantin as of late. He wasn't saying I couldn't see him at ALL, but no more spending the night with him, I had my own family. Oh, and Taekwondo was out as well because it was New-Age spiritualism. (WHAT???) AND come summer he expected me to get a job. I was old enough to learn some responsibility. Maybe I find work at a farm, but I WOULD find something. I was numb that night. I could barely think. And every time I thought about how I was going to break the news to Constantin... then I couldn't think at all. I guess the biggest miracle was that I didn't lose it totally next morning. (From now on I would be getting up early enough to eat breakfast with them. And to take part in family devotions.) But I didn't lose it. Not even when I mentioned going by Constantin's so we could go to school together and he said OK this time but I would tell him I wouldn't be spending much time with him from then on because... it just didn't look right, I mean I was so CLOSE to losing it right then... but somehow I didn't. Because if I had, that would have clinched it right then and there. If Constantin had suggested us running away, I would've. I have no doubt doing that would REALLY have clinched it, but even so, when he DIDN'T bring it up I felt... I don't know, like he didn't care? Like it didn't MATTER to him? What I felt was pretty irrational (looking back on it) but I felt lost. And when I told him I couldn't be taking Taekwondo anymore I hoped he'd say well, he'd drop out too, that way we could still see each other after school for at least a LITTLE while, but he didn't. He just said we had to be cool about it, that three months wasn't THAT long... and hey, his folks wanted him to get a job in the summer too, so he'd been thinking about it... I mean he didn't want to say anything about it right then... but maybe by the summer it would be all right. I don't know if you can recall this, but to a 14-year-old three months seems like forever. You can't WAIT that long, it's not POSSIBLE! But it's not forever. I just wanted to end this chapter with a glimmer of hope, that's all. It wasn't going to be forever. After all, there's a reason this story is entitled "Constantin" in the first place. o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 Oh, and as it turned out, while I didn't have much sex with Constantin for awhile, I did end up having quite a bit more than I was expecting on Monday morning, March 20th. Maybe not with him and not right away either (unless you want to count a lot of disconsolate jerking off) (which I don't) but... well, you know what they say about the hidden homosexual agenda? You've heard of that, right? Well it is just the strangest thing... And I don't feel one bit bad about it either. But I guess I can get to THAT next chapter. As always feedback is welcome and I'll always get back to you soon as I can think of something. But thanks for reading and please remember, three months isn't really forever after all. jjjanicki@gmail.com