Counting

Chapter 18

by Tux

This is all fantasy fiction. None of the events are real.

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Proton Mail: Foxfire3730@proton.me

Edited by Andrew Thomas

This story is an original work of fiction ©Copyright 2022 Tux - Please do not copy or post without permission.

Hey guys it's Tux and I can't express the joy that I have that you all love reading my story. I wasn't really sure in the beginning but working with Andrew, he built my confidence and I wrote my story down. I'm so excited to keep writing the story and bringing you more emotional connection, drama, and victories for young AJ and Zack. After writing so far into the story, I've become very attached to AJ and Zack, more than I thought I was going to be able to, and I look forward to sharing the rest of his story with you.

I appreciate all the emails, suggestions, offers, and support that I get and for those who haven't emailed yet and are waiting or don't feel comfortable or safe emailing let me, let me express my gratitude for reading my story and tell you a little bit about my story. I've been reading nifty for many years about two months ago I just decided to start emailing people and let them know how much I appreciate their stories. I got replies almost instantly. The responses were supportive, encouraging, and some even held spoilers. I struck up a friendship with Andrew and it grew with my confidence and now Andrew is my most trusted editor. I cannot do this without him. Other authors like Lucas and Eric Murphy offer advice and support with my stories and it means the world to me. So, take a leap email an author and tell them how you feel, did you like the story did you not like it, all opinions matter to the author. Do you have suggestions on where you think the story could go, all suggestions interest the author. So take that leap and email your favorite author, you can change his day for the better, and might even influence or change the story. Thank you to all those that were supportive to me and I can't wait to show you the rest of... Counting.

Chapter 18 - Why is he crying?

Twins

Heading down to the first floor to sit next to mom on the couch, "No Zack, you sit down with your brother," says dad as he comes in holding a cup of coffee.

I get up, trudging my way over to the love seat and sit down next to Zeke. I push his leg over on his side, he pushes my shoulder, and dad tells us both to stop. He leans on the archway trim and takes a deep sigh, giving us `that look' we both know so well, the kind that makes us feel guilty even if we don't know why. "Which one of you wants to start?"

We both look around so as not to look at each other, and then it is like a stabbing pain in my head as a thought that isn't my own says, "You almost killed him. You go first!" I turned on my brother, who was recovering from his own stabbing pain in his head, and I grabbed him by the shirt, bringing him closer to me and yelling in his face, "You take that back!"

He grabs my shirt and pulls me even closer than I had him and shouts, "I didn't mean to, but I had to, to protect AJ!" Our eyes go wide and our grip loosens even before dad and mom jump up to pull us apart.

I jump up and take a few steps back, "How did you know I was thinking that?"

Zeke stares at me hard and his voice cracks, asking, "I didn't say that out loud. What's going on?"

I turn and look into dad's eyes and rush to him. He takes me into his arms and says, "Calm down, boys. I was hoping this would skip a generation. You two are holding on to some massive secrets, and you're beginning to share those thoughts if you want to or not. You're twins. You two can't have secret from each other. One way or another, it will come out."

He moves me back to look me in the eye, "Tell me," he said.

My eyes fill with more tears and I start to talk, but my voice cracks and I cough. He lets me calm down and nods. "I think....I, um think... I forgot AJ's..." the last word sticks in my throat. I shake my head and look at mom, pleading with her not to make me say it.

"Awwwee honey," mom says with open arms, and I shift into her warm embrace. "The injector broke. It wasn't something you did or didn't do. When you were needed, once again, you stepped up, and I still have my son." She holds my head and pushes it away to look me in the eyes to say, "You did good. You didn't panic, and you did everything right. You both didn't panic and are great brothers." The doubt I have been carrying all evening falls away, washing me in the light of relief. I feel so much better that I didn't inadvertently try and kill my boyfriend. At that moment, I had totally forgotten about Suzie. Leave it to Zeke to remind me.

"AJ probably would have been fine though if you hadn't treated him like shit all afternoon! Where were you? He spent every minute he could looking for you and you disappeared. The rest of us had to pick up the slack! We don't have the connection you two have, but we did the best we could. Did you know he peed his pants twice and had to let his friends help him because you were just gone! Chet and Brian said he was almost I tears. You flaked on him!"

Dad steps in between us, expecting what's coming. I pulled my shoulders away from mom and stood my ground. I can still feel her soft touch on my shoulders, as if she is afraid to let me completely be without restraint. "Take it back!"

"You're such a great big brother to him, aren't you? Then some girl holds his hand and kisses his cheek and you lose sight of what should matter. He loves you, you idiot!"

Zeke walks towards me, and dad lays a hand on his chest, holding him back, but dad doesn't get in the way so we can talk face-to-face. When he started talking about Suzie holding AJ's hand and kissing him... kissing him, I didn't even know that! Mom's grip became like vice grips and held me a few feet from my brother. "She kissed him! He let her kiss him!" I was practically yelling at him at this point.

"Look at you, unraveled by a girl! You are so jealous you would rather sit alone on the bus and hide, than be with the one you love. You know, I love him too, just as much as you, and I stepped aside for you, like I always do for you! The way you acted today, you don't deserve him." I recoil and look between mom and dad. "I should have never let you talk to him first. He would have fallen for me if I had just acted like I normally do, but I didn't. Did I? No, I knew you were as in love with him as I was. You have no idea what I sacrificed to protect him. I've done things I can't even talk about! I've seen things I can't unsee!"

Those words hang in the air and mom and dad exchange looks. A massive wave of disgust and hatred slams into me, almost knocking me to my knees. I say wincing, "...sacrificed, what... you're talking about Missy, aren't you? What did she have on you that was so damning that she could make you do those things?"

Dad speaks up and interrupts Zeke, "Looks like a lot has gotten aired out here today. Let's retreat back to our corners and calm down. Let's do this again tomorrow night and we'll keep doing it till you two stop fighting!"

I really want to know what he must have done that was so bad he wouldn't want his own twin to know, but dad is right, I'm suddenly exhausted. Mom gives me a hug and asks me to meet her in her room. I nod and head that way, but not before giving Zeke one last glare. He is returning my glare and dad turns his head so he has to look at him while he is giving him a butt chewing.

Entering mom's room, I head over to the bed, and sit down as she closes the door. She sits next to me, and I instantly lay my head in her lap. I confess, "I hate that she is touching him and the thought of her kissing him is... I can't stop myself from thinking the worst. What if he likes kissing girls? What if he wants a girlfriend also?"

Mom giggles a little and says, "I wouldn't worry about it, AJ wouldn't know how to feel. He's still in that `Girls are Yucky' phase. He loves you, Zack, and you need to stop fretting over it if he truly does. I'm telling you, as his mother, he loves you more than life itself."

I sit up and shyly look into her eyes, asking softly, "How do you know?"

"Oh Zack, his every thought is of you. When he wakes up, or talks about school, or anything, your name is always included. He only thinks of you. No girl's kiss will change that. It took a kiss from a caring, respectful, mature, responsible, and loving young man to capture his heart. The sooner you accept this, the happier you'll be."

"How can you be so calm about me and AJ? I mean... how can you not be mad that he and I... do stuff. You're so nice to let me sleep in the same bed and kiss him in the open... why? My friend's moms would freak."

She smiles and gives me a warm hug. "Did you know AJ wasn't supposed to live past his sixth birthday. See young boys have a small growth spurt around that age, trust me, none of your clothes fit for very long. I was told that when he hit that growth spurt, his spine would not withstand the pressure and I would lose him." She's quiet for a little bit. Then she wipes her tears and continues, "But it came and went, and my little AJ powered through it and came out of it with stunted growth and he couldn't talk for a year. That's why he's so small. Puberty is going to be a big deal for him, because he has his second growth spurt and he barely made it past the first one. I just want him to be as happy as he can be between now and then. Zack I don't mean to scare you, but he will need you when it starts. He's already showing signs and there isn't anything that be done but sit and wait."

She gives me some time to hash out what she has just said and then tells me we should go check on my brother. But before we leave the room, she turns me around and tells me, "Look, I'm making this completely clear. You are not to bug your brother about the video Missy used to blackmail him, understand? Your father and I don't want you or anyone else to see it. It's a shame we couldn't stop Zeke from seeing it. Honey, once you see it, you can't unsee it, and if you saw it, it would hurt AJ so much. So, I don't want you to mention it anymore, understand?"

I stand there a little shocked, and all I can do is nod. What could Missy have on Zeke that could have hurt AJ so badly that they won't let me see it or talk about it? Did he do something to AJ?

Jack

Zeke watches the rug to make sure it's not moving, I guess, as I watch Alice and Zack go upstairs to her room. So far, it's going to plan. Well, I didn't see their twin connection extend to thoughts. That was a surprise. I think their father and I couldn't do that until high school. I'll have to sit them down later and talk about it. It looked like that was the first time for them both. Tensions are so high nowadays, it's no wonder why it's happened now.

Once we're alone, Zeke stands up and walks over to me and rests his head on my chest. On the way to me, I can see his shoulders quivering, giving me the clue that he's crying. I wrap him up with my one arm while trying to not spill coffee on him. "Hey Zeke, what's the matter?"

His crying is blurring his speech, so I move us to the couch. He sits down and lays in my lap. "He knows I'm hiding something. I can't keep it from him much longer. It's easier if I just avoid him, but the closer he gets, the worse I feel and he knows," I hand him a Kleenex and he dries his tears and blows his nose.

"The guilt you have for seeing that video and the things Missy made you do is not only tearing you apart but your brother also. You are both moody and biting each other's heads off. Zack is even getting after AJ. I want you to see Doctor Ford. She helped AJ, and I think it'll help you."

"Uncle Jack I don't want to! I can do this. I just need more time."

"Always the tough one. After your father died, I spent years with Dr. Ford. Give her a chance, okay?"

Zeke studies my face and gives in, "Oh... okay, I'll give her a chance, but tell her up front. I'm not talking about that video. It's bad enough I have nightmares about it, I'm not going to relive it during the day." I'm about to tell him no promises, when Zack and Alice come down the stairs. Zeke quickly machos up and sits on the loveseat.

Twins

We rejoin the rest of the family down in the family room. Zeke is sitting on the love seat and I can tell he's been crying. Mom joins dad in the sofa and I sit next to my brother. An uncomfortable silence falls over the room, and then, as if a mouse speaks as it is moving through the room, Zeke says, "Sorry. I take it back."

I sit there, not sure what to do, I offer him my fist and he bumps it. Dad smiles and mom begins to talk, "Okay, now that that's out of the way, no more fighting you two. We need to talk to you about Missy,"

I get a wash of disgusted shame from Zeke, and I have to hold my head to keep from passing out. "You have to get that under control! I don't know what is happening to us, but you have to get your feelings under control!"

"Sorry, I'm not as good at this as you are," he says as he struggles with his emotions.

Mom and dad exchange looks, and he lays his hand on her lap, reassuring her that we'll be okay. I grit my teeth and got myself under control. "I'm good now," I say, while still holding my head. "Can I sit over by you guys or at the bar would be best."

"Nope," Dad says quickly, as if he was expecting my question. "You will have to get used to this and your brother's current emotions. It's a great training tool. Welcome to being twins." He knows I hate it when he says that.

Dad nods to mom and she takes over, "Missy has been enrolled in a boarding school for girls. She leaves tomorrow morning. Zeke will be moving into her room. Your father and I will be sitting down with AJ and filling him in on what's going on when he wakes up. We will be only telling him what he needs to know, you two will not fill in the blanks. While we talk to him, you two will be outside playing basketball and not fighting."

"But it is freezing out there!" I interrupt.

"Then you can do chores! The horses haven't been brushed and cleaned, and I'll be checking hooves, so work together and get it done."

We both nod in agreement with a sigh. Zeke's feelings are mellowing out, either starting to get the hang of it, or fretting over doing chores in the cold night air.

Jack

The boys walk over to get their jackets, boots, and hats on while Alice goes and gets AJ. I watch them, making sure they don't start up again. When it looks safe, I head to the kitchen to get more coffee, and when they walk by, I remind them, "No fighting! I can not be more serious. You are twin brothers, act like it." I get half-assed agreements and reassurances as they head out the back door. Truth be told, the horses don't need brushed or shoes, but I know that if they were in the house while we talked to AJ, it wouldn't work. Talking to AJ is going to be uncomfortable. He's bound to get upset and loud, and it's going to take time to get him calmed down.

Alice comes down with AJ in his underwear and his throw blanket around his shoulders. He still looks half asleep. I think we should wait, but with Missy leaving tomorrow, he has to know. She sits him on the couch, and he rubs one of his eyes as he groggily yawns. She opens the end table drawer and removes AJ's black emergency medicine pouch. Watching him makes me really regret that we couldn't have had this talk with him earlier. We were going to talk to all three of them after they got home on the bus, but shit happens.

"AJ, honey, we have to talk to you and it's important. Can you stay awake for what we have to tell you?" His mother asks. I knew once we started he'd be locked on to every word we said. He gives a little nod and brings the little blanket around himself, lifting his feet on the couch and brings his knees to his face.

Alice looks at me, and I give her a nod, even though I know he's not ready for this. "AJ, what I have to tell you is going to upset you. I need you to remain as calm as you can," she says in a soft tone. His face changes a little as concern begins to cross his little face. "Tomorrow morning, before you get up, I will be taking Missy to a special school."

His little eyes shift back and forth between the two of us and then he says, "...and?"

"...and she'll be gone until summer break," Alice responds, and then waits for him to respond.

"Okay... where's Zack?" He asks with very little interest in what Missy is doing.

"Honey, do you understand what Zeke and Missy were doing the night you saw Zeke in the hall?"

I can see it in his face. He's not sure how truthful he wants to be and it almost made me laugh, but he answers, "The same thing me and Zack do?"

"Yes, that's right, except for one huge difference. Zeke didn't like doing it, and he felt he didn't have a choice. Do you understand?"

"Yup, Zack already explained it to me. I guess she had a video and when Zeke saw it, he did anything she asked." Alice turned to me, and I gave her a little shrug. Trying to keep a secret in his house is near impossible. She left the chair next to me and knelt next to AJ, "Honey, do you know who was on the video?"

He looked at her and then at me. I tried hard to keep my face supportive but steady. Alice reached up and placed her hand on his foot and tried to say something, but the words got caught in her throat. "Who mommy... who was on the video?" Her voice quivered and she covered her mouth as if to hold back the news that would crush her little boy's heart. "No! It can't be!" He kicks at her, knocking her back out of kicking range. "You said it was deleted!" He shouted and jumped up to his feet, throwing the blanket at her. "You said no one would ever see it and that the police deleted it!" He stomps his feet, accentuating every word. Anger swells up in him as he swings the couch pillows on the couch and at Alice.

My big hand intercepts them so as not to hit Alice, who is crying and unable to move. "AJ, calm down, son!" I say with enough authority to stop the tantrum. He stands looking at me as intimidating as a nine-year-old can be if he were trapped in a six-year-old body. His pale chest heaved up and down, his arm muscles were taut with swelling anger, and his eyes were thin as if he was planning his next attack. "This isn't your mother's fault. The video was emailed to Missy and she told Zeke she would show everyone at school if he did t do what she told him to do."

His eyes work through what I told him, and Alice goes to hug him. He pushes her away and yells, "Wait... has Zeke seen the video of me and daddy?" Anger is quickly replaced with fear! "No... he's going to hate me! Did he see it all? Please, don't let him see it all!" I personally have not seen the video myself, so I'm not sure exactly why he's so worked up, but I have the gist. The video must be pretty bad for not only AJ to act like this, but for it to reduce my emotionless, tough boy twin son to a crying heap. This poor kid.

"I don't know how much Zeke saw," which is the truth. "But he saw enough where he feels terrible and is totally on your side. He knew he needed to do something to stop it from getting out."

AJ begins to walk in a circle, shaking his hands and muddling to himself. Then he erupts, "Daddy!" He practically shouts, startling Alice and me. "Daddy must have sent it! It's a warning! He knows I tattled on him and he's mad!" He moved around as if he was looking for an exit. I quickly leaned over and grabbed the small boy. He quickly latches onto my neck as I hug him tightly. "Don't let him get me, dad! Don't let him hurt me again!"

I rub his back and assure him that I'll protect him no matter what. Tears ran down my face as I held him tight to my chest while he broke down. Alice stood up and joined us, completely rapping AJ in loving arms. How could anyone hurt this little boy? How messed up would a person have to be?

Twins

After getting the horse bucket with all the brushes and other stuff in it, I entered Stepper's stall. "Hey buddy, how you doing? Do worry AJ will be riding you in no time," the brush glides over his hair and I lay my face on his chest. Stepper breathes deeply and it moves my whole body and feels amazing. "Good boy, Stepper."

Zeke enters the stall next to me, and I can hear him checking the shoes on his horse, Chester. "Just what I thought, Chester doesn't need shoes. Is Stepper dirty?"

"No, but he deserves it. He misses AJ, I can tell."

"Look the things I said... I don't think like that-"

Hopping on the stall wall so I can look over at Zeke. I interrupt him, "Yes you do. You can't hide your feelings from me, remember. You're right, you kind of got the shaft in all this. I owe you everything for the connection I have with AJ, but no matter how I feel about him, our connection is different and I need it as much as I need air."

Zeke climbs up on the wall next to me and says, with a cheeky smile, "Well, I do miss our crazy sex sessions." Then he wiggles his eyebrows.

"Those were the great. But making love with AJ is indescribable. He's so passionate, intimate, and untamed. It's like everything is new to me. Something like sucking a dick is an entirely new experience. Zeke, what we did is the definition of fucking. With AJ, I make love."

Zeke lays his head on the wall while he listens to me. I can feel the wheels turning in his thoughts as he suggests, "I would never suggest that you let me have sex with AJ, but how about a threesome? I understand he's your boyfriend, but I would like to be more included. I... miss you. I hate sleeping alone. It's like you've been missing since AJ and you got serious. Like I've been replaced."

The last sentence was in a whisper, and I could feel the hurt in my brother. I gave it some thought about what he must have been going through these past few months, and I feel terrible. I was so lost in my love of my little soulmate that I was totally ignoring my twin. "You're right, I feel the void also, and I'm sorry. I'd have to talk to AJ first, you understand, and he'd have to be okay with it, but I bet he'd be okay with it," I tell my twin, and his smile crawls across his face. He leans towards me and my head switches to auto-drive. It leans towards him, turning slightly, and our lips touch softly together. His hot breath on my face feels amazing and everything around me fades into everything secondary. The only thing that matters at this moment is the merging of our faces. Our tongues come together and energy floods my mind. He slips over the wall while I unzip my jacket, dropping it to the floor as our tongues connect again. He grabs my head and takes charge of my actions, showing me what's next in our merging.

His coat hits the floor and my hands fumble with his belt buckle, and he suddenly steps back. His fists are clenched and the look on his face is pure frustration. "Can't... stop... You have to talk to AJ first," Zeke says, not looking at me. He picks up his coat and refastens his belt buckle. He leaves through the stall door, slamming it hard out of frustration, and leaves me on my knees in the straw next to Stepper. Tears fall quietly as the barn door opens, releasing the cold night air to sweep through the stalls only to stop suddenly after the barn door slams shut. The feeling of loss is too evident to me now, and I weep.

AJ

The covers are pulled back on my bed, and I can feel Zack climbing into bed. I anticipate him slipping next to me and becoming the big spoon, but he doesn't. He doesn't touch me at all. I turn my head to see what he's doing and his back is to me. Soft sounds come from him and I realize he's crying,

What should I do? I've never been in this position before. Why is he crying? Should I ask? What would he do if it was me crying in bed? I pull the bed covers back and slide my legs out to the floor I walk slowly to his side of the bed and pick up his covers. He wipes his eyes and helps me get into bed with him. I cuddle up next to him, placing my head on his chest, I can feel his chin on top of my head. I lace my fingers through his and sigh lovingly. "This is how we sleep together in this bed," I whisper to him as I look up into his eyes and our lips touch. It is soft and tender. His tongue touches my lips, and I accept it like I accept everything about Zack. Electricity surges through my whole body, causing my dick to stand up, poking him in his belly.

"You're sleeping naked?" He asks with a sniffle.

"I am now," I answer, hoping for a little play.

He hugs me and closes his eyes, getting comfortable on the pillow. "Tonight I just need to hold you, if that's okay."

I figured giving my body to him was the only thing I could do to make him feel better. He's never turned down a chance to play with me. Has he seen the video also? If he has, then he wouldn't want to do anything with me because he'd see that I'm a bad boy. Maybe I'm over reacting and he just wants to cuddle. I do feel safe and warm against his bare chest. That must be it. I close my eyes and snuggle as close as I can before I drift back to sleep.

If Zack has seen the video, then he wouldn't want to do anything with me. He will see that no matter what the police and mother says about that night. In the beginning, I wanted my father to touch me. It excited me! Made me feel loved. I wanted his dick in my ass. My father and I had been working towards that night for over a year. But father... father changed that night. His soft touch became a steel grip. His kisses became harsh words. His gentle movements became painful thrusts. His motives shifted from making love to me to just wanting to make me scream in pain. He hurt me, he punished me because I am... I am a bad boy.

New York

Some Time Ago

I walk through the office door that says `Johnson's Private Detective Agency' on its frosted glass window. Inside is a small room with two couches and a small coffee table with outdated magazines scattered around it. In the corner is another door and a little old lady sitting at a small desk. She looks up to me and says, "Mr. James?" I nod and she buzzes me into the next room. After months of no information I am hesitant to go through the door again to hear bad news. With my hand in the knob I give it a push open stopping the buzzer.

In the smoke filled office a man sits at an old desk cluttered with papers, a phone, a very expensive camera, and other normal things found on a desk. The man sitting on the other side of the desk is straight out of a 1950's movie. If he was colored in black and white I wouldn't be surprised one little bit. He's dressed in a white shirt with his red tie loosened hanging around his neck like a noose. His almost bald head is encircled by the smoke trailing from his half burnt cigarette.

"Mr. James, I've got good news today," my hopes go up as I take a seat by the desk. He puts a folder in front of me. "Well the information you gave me about your son's rare spine disease was a huge help. I figured it would pay off if we waited long enough. A hospital had a nine-year-old patient, on your boy's birthday, that died twice, and was brought back to life at the last minute. My contacts went to that hospital and took these photos. Is this your son?"

I take the photos and begin to cry. I nod and he continues, "He was under a different last name, which made finding him harder. That ex-wife of yours is a pretty smart lady."

The thought of her stealing the kids away while I was in jail flushed me with anger. I mean she could have the girls, I just want my little man back. After a little while, I realize the PI stopped talking, so I wipe my eyes and look up to him. He studies me and says while holding a paper against his chest, "My payment, in full please." I place $150,000 in a dark yellow envelope on his desk. He smiles looking at it and hands me the paper.

Not being able to wait one second longer, I look at the address- Mrs. Alice Docker, 53892 old Bank Road, Cut Bank, Montana. Docker...Docker... wait this is the Montana property and come to think of it, we bought it from a old man by the name of Docker. Hmm she is smarter than I gave her credit. I never thought I could get my loving Wallstreet Trader out of the big city. It seems Amy changed their names, all except Andrew Junior. That was dumb Amy. It made it that much easier to find you. I look up at the PI and say, "This is great! I'll take it from here."

As I pick up the folder and head to the door he inquires, "What are you going to do now? Nothing crazy I hope?"

I turn back at him and give him a smirk and answer, "Just take back what's mine."

End of Counting - Chapter 18 - Tux

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