Counting

Chapter 33 Three Sons

by Tux


This is all fantasy fiction. None of the events are real.

Email me with comments and suggestions:
Proton Mail: Foxfire3730@proton.me

This story is an original work of fiction ©Copyright 2023 Tux - Please do not copy or post without permission.


I appreciate all the emails, suggestions, offers, and support that I get and for those who haven't emailed yet and are waiting or don't feel comfortable or safe emailing let me, let me express my gratitude for reading my story and tell you a little bit about my story. I've been reading nifty for many years about two months ago I just decided to start emailing people and let them know how much I appreciate their stories. I got replies almost instantly. The responses were supportive, encouraging, and some even held spoilers. I struck up a friendship with Andrew and it grew with my confidence and now Andrew is my most trusted editor. I cannot do this without him. Other authors like Lucas and Eric Murphy offer advice and support with my stories and it means the world to me. So, take a leap email an author and tell them how you feel, did you like the story did you not like it, all opinions matter to the author. Do you have suggestions on where you think the story could go, all suggestions interest the author. So take that leap and email your favorite author, you can change his day for the better, and might even influence or change the story. Thank you to all those that were supportive to me and I can't wait to show you the rest of... Counting.

This story and my other work can be found on AO3 at the following link. Tux Edwards - Archive of Our Own

Andrew Thomas and I are trying something new. We have co-written two characters. This chapter introduces Beau and Colt to Counting, however, they originally show up in Boys of Grizzly Valley 3 - Go Bag Find it here

They then show up in Andrew's Trust, chapter 6 for a few chapters. Feel free to read about them here They will be regulars here in Counting.


Chapter 33: Three Sons


AJ

Long after we sat down for dinner and after we had a movie night, Beau fell asleep on Dad, Colt fell asleep on Beau, and I cuddled up on Colt and drifted off, I woke up in my bed in a dark room. I roll over on my side and stare at the green, glowing, blurry circles on the ceiling. I know they're stars and planets from my memories, but without my glasses, which are across the bed on the other nightstand, I hope, all I have to go on are my memories.

The silence of the room surrounds me, and at times like now, I feel the most alone. There is no soft rhythm to Zack's breathing or the slight heat from his breath on my neck. I can't even hear myself breathing or the breathing of the two boys laying inches away from me. I roll over on my shoulder and look into the blurry form of Beau and wonder:

`Did I mess up?'

`Does he hate me for the kiss I took a chance on?'

`Has my leap of faith cost me a new friend?'

When the silence becomes too much to bear and my nervousness builds too much, I whisper, not expecting an answer, "Are you mad at me?"

Suddenly, Beau rolls over and stares into my eyes. I'm afraid to move, and his steel-like eyes lock onto me. Then his mouth moves, whispering something. `No, tat hat?' What? `Jot bad?' Damn, I hate reading people's lips when they whisper. Beau's eyes move again, and I can tell he realizes that I can't hear him. He sits up and carefully reaches for the nightstand on Colt's side of the bed. Laying back down on his side, he hands me my hearing aid. I plug it in and lay back down, getting as close to Beau as I can.

Our faces are inches apart, and we can feel each other breathing. It's super relaxing. I search deep into his eyes, looking for anything that lets me know if he feels the same way about me as I do about him.

"No, not mad," he softly whispers.

Of course, duh, I've got to get better at reading lips. "Did you enjoy the kiss?"

He stares at me, and he fidgets a little, saying softly, "Yeah, I did, but something tells me that you can melt anyone with that kiss of yours."

Feeling a little embarrassed and confused by his answer, I ask softly, "But..."

"Look," he whispers and checks on Colt. Seeing Colt is still asleep, he continues, "Colt is the only thing that matters to me. I've seen a lot of boys our age naked at school, and tons of men. None of them made me feel like you do when you look at me. AJ, I'm confused about what those feelings mean to me. It scares me. I sometimes feel like you can see right through me."

We stare into each other's eyes, and he slowly gets closer. I can feel his stiff cock rubbing on mine, and soon he will have to turn his head so our noses don't touch. As our lips touch, I feel his tongue licking my upper lip. Tenderly at first, then our mouths open, and we get lost in being one. I wrap my arm around him and pull him as close as I can. My hand explores the small of his back and slides down inside his underwear. I time my kissing rhythm with my hand caressing his plump butt cheeks. Needing them and pulling one to open his rosebud. I pull his underwear under his butt and work my way to the front. My hand brushes his hard, stiff pole, making him jump, and he pushes me off the bed!

I land with a thud on my bare ass. "Hey!" I protest a little angry.

Beau looks over the edge of the bed and whispers, "Shh, you'll wake Colt."

"Why did you push me?"

Beau just looks scared. It seems like he wants to do something, but something is stopping him. He begins to talk again, but nothing comes out. I stand up, totally confused, and lift the sheet to get back into bed. As soon as I lay down, he gets close and whispers, "I'm sorry, I'm just not ready to be touched... down there."

Now that I'm close to him, I can see he's crying as he lays his hands flat on my chest. His hands are warm and trembling. I lay my hands on his, mimicking him, and feel his racing heartbeat. He shakes his head and begins to draw his hands back. I grab them and whisper, "If anyone understands, it's me. My father raped me on my eighth birthday, and he videotaped it. It was bad. I couldn't have anyone touch me there for a long time either. Shortly after I moved here, an eighth grader found the video on the Dark Web and got the idea to rape me in the bathroom to entertain his friends." I kiss his hands as he listens to my story, and at the end, I'm sobbing as I add, "Zach was there for me; I want to be there for you. Don't push me away."

Beau nods and leans his head forward, whispering, "I'm sorry your dad did that."

I angled my forehead until it touched his, responding, "...yeah, me too." I hold his hands and watch him close his eyes as tears stream down our faces. Soon he falls asleep, and I follow him to dreamland. Hopefully, I will meet him there, and we will have a good time.

Beau

My eyes flicker open, and my arm reaches for Colt to find an empty bed. I sit up and shield my eyes from the morning sun that fills the room like a lighthouse. "Maybe this room isn't the best one ever. Where are the curtains?" I asked no one in the room. Where is AJ? Where is my little brother?

I stand up and rub my eye as I yawn. Next to the bed, the nightstand has AJ's teddy bear with the overalls back in its resting place. His hearing aids and glasses are missing, and on the floor are Colt's Sesame Street underwear, with brown streaks on the bottom--yuck--lying inside-out. That means my brother is running around naked, sigh. I hurry down the stairs and round the corner to head to the first floor, but then I hear Colt giggling in the bathroom. I lean against the door and hear AJ and Colt talking with the shower running. Pinching my legs together, I'm reminded that I haven't peed all night.

I knock on the door, and AJ yells back, "We're still in the shower! Can we do my medicine after?"

"It's me, AJ; I have to pee real bad."

"Go downstairs."

I start the pee-pee dance and knock on the door with my forehead, speaking with each knock, "AJ. Not. In. My. Underwear!"

I hear them giggling, and then Colt says, "Otay, my bwover can coom in and pee," and the door unlocks and opens a little to reveal a bare-naked Colt running back to the shower covered in soap suds.

I shut the door and pull my yellow underwear down just enough to get my morning wood out to pee. "Colt, why are you taking a shower with AJ? I always give you a shower."

AJ cranes his neck to see my dick until he sees me notice, and he goes back to washing Colt's back with some kind of fluffy scrubber. "Sorry, Beau, I just knew you had a hard time sleeping, so I planned on letting you sleep. I was only trying to help."

My need to pee finally overrides my embarrassment at letting AJ see my little dick, and I sigh in relief as the pee hits the toilet. "Thanks for helping AJ. It's just the first time I, um," I begin to shake my dick to get all the extra pee out.

AJ says as he rinses all the suds off Colt, "Don't shake it more than three times, or you're playing with it."

"What?" I ask, trying to count how many times I've already shaken it in my head.

AJ laughs and shakes Colt by the shoulders to make his little dick flop around, saying, "It's just something Zack used to tell me to make me stop playing with it. I've always liked to see it swell and grow hard."

"That's understandable, you have quite a lot to watch," I grumble as I push my little dick into my underwear. The shower turns off and the two naked birds come giggling out, so I sit down on the bench next to Gomer and watch AJ's long, dick swing as he dries Colt with a big, fluffy towel. Seeing his soft dick as long as my hard-on is upsetting. When will mine get that long? They play back and forth, and I can't help but eventually smile at the goofiness. Soon there is a knock at the door.

"AJ, honey, are you ready?" Alice calls out from the other side of the door.

"Yes, Mom, come in," and before I could remind him that he and Colt are naked, Alice walks in. She walks in and acts like she sees three boys, two of them naked, in a bathroom every morning.

I blush and toss the towel to Colt, who tosses it to AJ. "Colt, cover up with it! It's not polite to be naked in front of a lady," I harshly whispered to him.

"Now, Beau, I appreciate it, but you're little boys, so I think that's allowed," and she gives a wink that makes Colt blush from head to toe. AJ bends down doggy style and rests his hands on the toilet, pointing his perfect butt at me. His rosy butt cheeks naturally parted, exposing his little pink star. I blush at thoughts of how it must taste and how tight it probably is. I mean, it has to taste better than a man's butt. I used to hate that so much. AJ's butthole looks so soft and clean, not like a man's. There is all stinky and hairy.

AJ turns to me, bringing me out of my `AJ versus man butthole' comparison, and smiles, looking a little embarrassed. At first, I thought maybe Alice was going to spank him, with how he was positioned and all. I had a cowboy that liked to spank me doggy style till I was red and crying, then he'd fuck me until he had to hold me up. I shake the memory from my head, telling myself, I'm not like that anymore, just in time to see Alice stick a full syringe into the white box on AJ's back. Colt climbs on my bench to get a better view as he plays with his little penis.

I stand up to watch, and Alice side-eyes me and smiles, instructing us, "See, the syringe is putting the medicine into the injector on his back."

"Does it huwt, A-yay?" Colt asks worriedly.

"No, honey, he doesn't even feel it. The box has a tube that connects to his spine. Do you know what that is?"

Whether he knows or not, Colt nods all the same. He stops playing with his penis, puts his fingers in his mouth, and asks, "A-yay, does dat medashin make you feewl bedder?"

"Yeah, Colt, well, when it's working, it does," AJ answers him.

Alice lightly slaps his butt, warning him, "...and when he gets a new one, he'll be all better. Hopefully, for AJ's sake, the hospital will tell me he didn't break this one." She puts a lot of different pills into a little cup and then hands AJ the cup. He takes the pills and uses the drinking fountain on the vanity to fill his mouth with water and swallow them. He shows Alice his empty mouth, and she motions for Colt and AJ to leave, saying, "Okay, you two giggle monsters. Let's let Beau enjoy his shower. Come downstairs and have breakfast with the rest of us when you're done, Beau."

The door shuts, and I take my yellow underwear off and toss them in the hamper with a light blue `AJ' on the front. I sit down on the bench and breathe, thinking about how a real family looks. I almost feel like everything that I've always been afraid of in my old life doesn't exist here, and it kind of scares me.

I will admit that it was nice showering alone. I didn't have to entertain Colt or try to get him to stop dancing in the water. I am able to get all washed and just stand there until the water turns cold. I get out and dry off, then wrap the towel around my body. I open the door and head upstairs, but then I remember that I don't have any clean clothes. So, I do what I have to do.

"AJ!" I yell downstairs towards the kitchen. "... can I borrow some clothes?"

"Yeah, of course, the underwear is in the drawers at the bottom."

"Thanks," I holler back.

Heading upstairs, I go to the wall with the dresser. I take my towel off and toss it on the bed. I play with my dick for a little while, sliding the foreskin up and down. Soon my breathing quickens, and I feel the soft, warm feeling that extends from my body, so I let out the air I'm holding in that I didn't even know about in a long moan. I turn and lean against the wall with a little thud. Faster and faster, I move my foreskin over my shaft, and my dick begins to swell. I open my knees, and my finger from my free hand finds my rosebud. Rubbing it in small circles, it loosens and my finger slides in, then it happens.

The same thing happens every time I get this far, and instead of a glorious orgasm, I get memories of Dallas painfully wrenching my legs wider and wider so he can ram his cock in me. I let go of my dick and hold my head as he pushed and pushed. The pain was indescribable, and the memory is so strong that I can still feel it. I squeeze my legs together tightly, and tears flow down my face. I can't breathe as he chokes me while he moans and tells me how tight I am. I fight for air. I fight to assure my body that it's not real. That it's all in my mind. Dallas is gone. He can't hurt me anymore. Suddenly the memory is gone, just as fast as it came.

I lay on the floor to catch my breath. "He can't hurt me. I don't have to let men fuck me anymore," I say out loud to convince myself that I'm safe. I'm safe. At least until the next time I start to play and the orgasm creeps up on me, triggering the next Cowboy flashback. They feel so real. How do I ever break free? How do I explain to AJ that I'm broken?

My empty stomach forces me to stand up and get dressed. I open the dresser and look over his clothes. Damn it, I forgot about him being so small. None of this will fit me. I pick up a pair of underwear and think that I'm not even sure these will fit Colt. How does his dick fit in these, and what happens if he gets a boner? What am I going to do now?

AJ

Mom, Colt, and I are sitting in the breakfast nook, eating eggs and bacon with the leftover biscuits from last night's supper. Mom just got after me for tickling Colt's butt while we are eating cuz he might choke. I guess she's right, but he started it by pinching mine. The kitchen door opens, and the twins pile inside. They're wearing their barn clothes, which look like onesies. They unzip them and climb out, then toss them outside on the porch. Both of them are only wearing boxers now, and as they move about the kitchen, I watch the movement of their dicks swinging back and forth. Drooling just a little, I realize their little free-balling display is affecting me between my legs. For fear that Colt will see it, I push it down and hold it between my legs. As I check to see if Colt has seen my woody, I notice that he's been playing with himself this whole time and has worked himself into quite a nice little boner.

I giggle at the size and shape of his little hard willie, and he looks at me and giggles too. He pushes it down and lets it spring back to its original position, sticking straight out from his very small balls. I smile at his openness and release mine, letting it flop up against my stomach. His eyes go wide, and he wiggles back and forth without taking his eyes off mine. I copy him, and it feels nice to have someone watch me. I'm not sure how long we play with our hard-ons, but Mom gets up to get the twins breakfast, and she warns me, "Stop playing with it and eat, or you'll lose this privilege."

Colt and I sit up and work on our eggs, all the while giving each other side-eye looks and giggles. Beau walks into the kitchen without a shirt on, and his shorts from yesterday are sagging really low. Like, I think his dick is the only thing keeping them on. "I thought you were going to get dressed in some of my clothes?" I ask with a mouth full of eggs.

Mom guides Beau to the table and sets a dish full of bacon and three eggs in front of him. He digs in and responds with an equally full mouth, "None of your clothes will fit me. You and Colt wear the same size of underwear, I think. There was no way I was squeezing into a pair of those."

"Oh, I'm sorry none of my stuff fits you," I say with a little more sorrow and shame than I intended to show.

"Don't worry, honey; Zack be a dear, and when you're done eating, please go find a shirt that's too small and give it to Beau. After the hospital trip, we'll go shopping for Beau and Colt. I'm thinking you need more than a few pairs of underwear and clothes."

Beau blushes a little, I think, but with him just getting out of the shower, it's hard to tell. I shift my plate next to Beau, scoot my bare butt closer to him, and whisper, "You look really nice."

He looks down his well-defined and muscled chest to his old, dirty shorts and asks, "In these dirty shorts?" And when no one is paying attention to us, I lean over and give him a peck on the cheek. His hand instinctively goes to his cheek as if to hold the fading kiss from falling off as he blushes for real this time.

He turns his face to me, and I whisper again, this time kind of embarrassed, "You look nice."

"You're, um, you're naked, and you've got a boner," he says loudly enough for the table to hear. I'm not sure if he was warning me that my dick was erect or that somehow, I didn't know that I was bare-naked at the breakfast table.

"Luk, A-yay, and I awe bof naked," Colt says, standing up on his seat and swinging his little penis back and forth. Too bad he has since lost his stiffness; it would have been way funnier, but we all laughed pretty hard, except Beau, until Mom spoke up.

"Colt, we don't stand on the bench; please sit down."

Beau looks shocked and asks softly, "Why are you guys naked?"

Mom cleans off Colt's face and picks up the random pieces of egg that he dropped on the table while saying, " AJ has decided to enjoy running around naked. I, on the other hand, don't like him at family functions without clothes. So we compromised; since Lana is normally gone to work in the mornings, it would be okay if he was naked at the breakfast table since it's just him and me most of the time anyway. He also has free range upstairs to `run free' if he chooses." She helps Colt around the table and pats his little bare bottom, making him giggle, and she continues, "This morning, Colt said he would like to try it, and as long as they behaved, I didn't see an issue with it."

"Yeah! Let's get naked!" The twins shout at the same time, and they jump to their feet.

Mom turns and covers her eyes, laughing, "Oh, no! You two aren't little boys anymore! You're lucky I let you walk around in your boxers."

Even Beau laughs at that, and I laughed so hard I almost peed.

After a quick trip to the bathroom, where Colt and I shared the toilet, we raced up to my room to get dressed. Beau is sitting on the bed with his arms in Zack's old tee shirt, and Colt leaps on him. "Colt, you sure are giggly this morning," he says, struggling to finish putting on the oversize tee.

Zack is over by the dresser getting my clothes out and sets them on the bed like he does every morning. I jump on the bed and tackle Colt gently. He hops on me, and Beau tickles his sides, making him giggle and wiggle all over me.

Zack doesn't say anything; he just walks past and lets us play until he sees the ring and its chain on the lampshade. "Hey, why aren't you wearing this?" He asks, holding it up for all of us to see.

Zack

"We're not boyfriends anymore," AJ snaps back, instantly choking up and fighting back his tears. "You won't even do sex stuff with me anymore!" The floodgates have now been opened. The two other boys blankly stare at me to see what I'll do. So, I walk over to AJ, take him by the hand, and lead him to a pair of rickety kiddy chairs.

"Sit down," I command him. AJ sits down, and I do the same, taking his hand. I drop the ring in his hand and say, "Look, this ring doesn't have anything to do with us being boyfriends, and it definitely doesn't have anything to do with us having sex. I didn't give it to you to get you to have sex with me! I knew you didn't understand when I gave it to you. That is one of three rings. They are all Zeke and I have left of our father. I gave you that ring to make you one of us, a brother. All Colter males get one. To symbolize my promise to you to always be there for you and to protect you no matter the cost to me, to us." Now it's my turn to tear up. The other two boys have sat down and are locked onto every word. "You wear the ring to tell the world you're a `Colter' and it best leave you alone." I look to Beau, who is holding Colt, and finish by saying, "That goes for you two now as well. We'll have to get you rings also."

AJ takes the ring, puts it over his head, and hugs me. Before I can react, the other two rush over and hug me with so much force, the chair collapses from the weight. Oh well, it's a cheap chair anyway. We all get up from the floor, with the three little ones laughing at the chair. "You boys best get dressed," I mention to them as I pick up the chair and walk out of the room.

As I leave, I hear, "I wike it hewe, Beau. I luv Ayay and evewyone else!"

"That's great, Colt. Come on, let's get you dressed. We don't want to make Alice mad."

"Yeah, trust me, that's a bad idea," AJ agrees with Beau as he looks over the underwear, shorts, and tee-shirt combo that I just left on the bed for him.

Beau

We all get dressed and head downstairs, where Alice herds us into the Chevrolet Suburban. AJ and I get Colt strapped into his car seat, and AJ gets in his and latches it by the time we get out of the driveway. The drive is pretty uneventful. AJ is real quiet on the drive to the hospital. He told me once that he's got a lot of bad memories there.

The hospital was boring; we didn't get to watch as much as Jack had thought. I held Colt's hand, and we sat on a couch/bench outside the room. We heard AJ scream once, but the room fell silent soon after. Thirty minutes later, AJ and Alice came out of the room, Colt rushed into his arms, and Alice gave me a hug. I guess she thought I needed one.

Anyway, the suburban is pulling into a random parking spot in front of a store full of clothes in the windows called 'Natties'. AJ seems excited, and that energy bleeds over to the rest of us. He practically dances inside, with Colt hopping up and down next to him. AJ is acting so differently.

"It's the injector," Alice says as she holds the door open for me.

"Huh?"

"His injector is fixed, and he's back to his old self. Things are about to get crazy. See, he's not feeling sick all the time or fighting to stay positive," she says with a little hug. We stand at the door as AJ and Colt play an odd form of tag where they use the clothes racks as safe zones. "Go on, Beau, go play."

I look up at her, and she smiles and gives me a nod. I smile back and join the game. As I run off to run in and out of the racks, trying not to be tagged, I hear, "Well hello, Alice, how are you all doing? What'd you been up to?"

She was a black lady of about Alice's height in a black, with yellow polka-dots, dress. I could tell right away that she was a real nice person. Alice makes an open-arm gesture towards us kids playing and says, "We're in trouble. I've got two new bouncing boys with no clothes." She grabs Colt as he runs by, and he explodes in giggles when she lifts him up on her hip. "This one is Colt; he's seven. The one playing with AJ is Beau." She calls for us to come to her, and we stop running. "I'll take Colt, Nattie; can you take Beau and measure him for me?"

"Sure thing, sugar," Nattie says, showing us the way.

"AJ, stay with Nattie and behave yourself," she said with a smile, but by the look on AJ's face, it was more of a warning.

"This way, my two sweet things," Nattie says, and she heads to the back corner. AJ is right on her heels and waves at me to hurry. There are like a million different clothes here, on racks, in folded piles, and on mannequins. These clothes are real nice. I've never been able to afford these kinds of clothes for me or Colt. AJ must have caught me gawking, and he takes me by the hand, pulling me to the measuring area. It's a small stand with three mirrors on one side. There is a little shelf with lots of tape measurers, scissors, thread, sewing needles, and a notepad. She motions for me to get on the stool, so I climb on. I fidget with the part of my shorts that is over my dick without realizing it, but soon my erection sends a chill through my bones as I see it in three mirrors.

"Let's take this oversized shirt off," Nattie says while she pulls my shirt over my head.

"AJ," I say, worried that she can see my woody. I hear some movement, and when the shirt clears my head, I see AJ standing in front of me with his hands covering my hard-on. This makes me even harder, but it is cool of him to hide my dick from Nattie.

"Sugar, hold your arms out, and I'll get this over with as fast as we can," she says with the nicest voice that I'm sure was made for singing. She holds a measuring tape from my neck to my wrist, then does the other arm. She wraps the tape around my chest and waist, then writes down some measurements on her notepad.

AJ looks worried again and whispers to me, "Close your eyes; this next part is going to feel... uncomfortable for you, but she has to do your, um, crotch."

What! "Hold on, this won't hurt you, but little boys always say it feels weird," she warns me, and AJ takes my hands, holding them tightly.

I close my eyes and feel her hand hold the tape to my ankle, then slide it up my leg and inches from my nuts. She slows down and feels around my balls, and I look at AJ with pleading eyes. He's sympathetic and holds my hands tighter, saying, "She's almost done."

To his word, I feel her hand slip off my balls and up to my taint. In the mirror, I can see her look up at the tape and then let go, and with that, I let go of the breath I'm holding in. "There you go, Sugar, all done. Just let me get a look at the tag inside your shorts," Nattie says, and I spin around looking terrified.

"There's no reason to be afraid, young man."

I wave AJ over with one hand as I hold my hard-on down with the other one. He climbs on the box, and Nattie watches, questioning what's going on. I whisper to him while keeping an eye on her, "AJ, I'm not wearing underwear; none of your briefs fit me." AJ giggles and looks down at my dick, and I whisper, "Don't let her look, please."

He nods and works his way to my butt and pulls my shorts open, then asks, "What numbers do you need?"

Nattie explains to AJ what she needs, and with a little tugging and fishing around, AJ tells her the numbers she wants. She turns around and heads to some clothes racks. I feel a pinch on my ass and a little giggle next to my ear.

I turn around, saying, "Did you pin..." then AJ locks his lips around my open mouth and his tongue slips down mine, causing my head to fill with fog. Our tongues dance from my mouth to his and then meet in the middle, where they slowly and sexually move over each other. I've had to kiss a lot of men, but wanting to kiss AJ has changed how I feel about kissing. My tense muscles relax, and when he pulls away, I smile.

He blushes and shyly whispers, "That's your reward, okay?"

I smile at him and gently place my hand on his chest. He smiles back, and I tell him, "You're it."

Alice

I can hear AJ and Beau laughing and the sound of their shoes running on the store's hardwood floor. I think maybe a trip to the park is in order before we head home to burn off some of that energy. Colt giggles in my hands as I undress him for the third time. His underwear is in shambles, and every time I touch it or have to pull it back up because the waistband is about all stretched out, I'm afraid it will just turn to pieces.

"Can I gow pay wif A-yay and Bwo, pwese?" Colt asks, and suddenly he squirrels around like he has no bones.

"Oh, Colt, honey, let me get you dressed," I tell him as I fight my own laugh trying to get him to hold still long enough to get him decent. He dashes off, almost running into Nattie, who dodges him with expert skill. We laugh and watch the boys weave in and out of the racks. After a few seconds, I ask, "Did he hold still long enough for you to find out how big he is?"

She laughs and gives me a half smile, saying, "I'm not sure still is the right word, Alice, frozen in place is more accurate. Little AJ, bless his heart, held his hand to try and keep him calm." She shows me the rack of clothes that are Beau's size. We go over the different styles quickly, putting together a few outfits for summer, play, family outings, and underwear--lots of different kinds of underwear. Nattie makes a few notes. She puts five complete outfits for each boy in bags, and I order ten more for each boy, plus lots of underwear.

We head back to the Suburban, and we all head to the toy store across the street. "Hi Ben," I cheerfully say as I release the boys in another store.

"Why, hello, Mrs. Docker. I see your numbers have tripled. What can I do for you?"

"Yes, Beau is nine, and Colt is seven. What is popular nowadays?"

He asks, "Isn't young AJ nine?"

I pick up a baseball glove and set it back down, saying, "Well, AJ... AJ is different." Speaking of the devil, we find AJ playing with a puzzle box in the education section. His fingers move fluidly over the box's surface. It looks to be made of wood and is stained in many different colors. There is a Japanese-looking design on the sides with a Japanese dragon in a circle carved into the top. The puzzle box's container has `For Adults with an IQ Over 140' printed on its lid.

"I'm sorry, son," says Ben as he reaches for a toy closer to a nine-year-old's IQ level. "Let's get something closer to your age level." Then we both hear a click, and the puzzle box opens.

"Look, Mom!" He celebrates by handing me the prize that was inside the box--a fifty-dollar bill. I look at Ben with a shocked look on my face. The sounds of Beau and Colt playing the next row over grab his attention, and he's off to pretend to sound interested in baseball, basketball, spaceships, and laser swords.

"I didn't think anyone could ever open it. It's sat on that shelf for ten years with no winners," Ben says, a little lost for words.

Handing Ben, the puzzle box, I say, "See, different. I don't have any normal toys at our house for nine- and seven-year-olds."

Ben recovers from the shock and smiles, hands me two notepads with pencils, and says, "Here, take these, and have the boys write down what they want. I'll deliver it."

I thank him and go looking for the boys. I see AJ chasing Colt with a spaceship in his hand. I find Beau one row over in a more girlish section. He's staring at something in his hand. The creak in the floor from my feet makes him jump, and he quickly, almost in a panic, bobbles with something and turns to me, looking absolutely embarrassed and terrified.

"I was, um, just, um, I'm sorry. I was just looking; I know I'm not supposed to like it, but..." he pleads as he begins to tear up and shake. I walk up to him, pull him into a hug, and tell him it's okay. "Don't tell; please, don't tell anyone. What's wrong with me?" I comfort the boy the best I can in response to his pleas for forgiveness for a crime that isn't one. I look past him at the tipped-over bottles of nail polish and sigh.

After two hours of running around the toy store and an hour at the park, we are finally on our way home. With the back of the SUV full of boxes of toys, bags of clothes, and a small bag with red, purple, and blue nail polish bottles in it sitting next to me, a lot should be on my mind, but the only thing I can think about at this moment is how the view in my rear view mirror fills me with pride.

Three soundly sleeping boys.

Three truly innocent boys.

Three different boys.

Three strangers.

Three brothers.

Three friends.

Three sons.



"The Universe is Made of Stories, Not of Atoms" -Muriel Rukeyser

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End of Counting - Chapter 33 - Tux


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Edited by Andrew Thomas


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