Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2001 14:00:23 -0500 From: fsw99 Subject: Chapter 18 of Dear Diary Legal Notice: The following story contains descriptions of graphic sexual acts. The story is a work of fiction and has no basis in reality. Don't read this story if: **You're not 18 or over, **If it is illegal to read this type of material where you live, **Or if you don't want to read about gay/bi people in love or having sex. The author retains copyright to this story. Placing this story on a website or reproducing this story for distribution without the author's permission is a violation of that copyright. Legal action will be taken against violators. E-mail responses to the stories, story suggestions or other 'constructive' comments or advice may be sent to: fsw99@mindspring.com. All e-mails will be answered. DEAR DIARY By Stan Chapter Eighteen Thursday, August 24, 2000 Dear Diary: Today was a fun day. Lots of laughs. I had a History test this morning, and wasn't sure how well I did. I know that I missed more questions than I had thought I would before I took it. My concentration just didn't seem to be with me today. I wonder what could be distracting me? Was I still worried about Matt and Tad? Hell yeah. Who wouldn't be? Matt kept assuring me that he had it all under control, but that didn't exactly make me feel better. Finally, it was lunch and time to talk to Tad. I wasn't looking forward to this at all. Right now, I would lots rather eat all my meals for the rest of my life in this cafeteria than talk to Tad. OK, I take that back. At least talking to Tad wouldn't kill me. I wasn't sure about eating 3 meals a day, 365 days a year here. I was pretty sure I wouldn't reach 16 that way. Tad was already eating when we walked up with our tray of goodies. He looked up quickly, said hi, and went back to shoveling the slop down as fast as he could. That is the way we all ate. Get the `food` out of sight as quickly as we could. Tad finished first, and said quietly, "I'll meet you outside when you're finished, OK?" "Sure," Matt answered. I didn't say anything. We finished not long afterwards, and walked out to where Tad was standing. "Tad, look," Matt started. "No, let me say this before I chicken out, OK? I'm so sorry for asking you what I did yesterday. I never want to do anything to come between you two. I really don't. I don't even want to do it any more. I thought about it all night, and I don't really think I'm gay after all." "Oh, that's too bad. Jamie and I talked it over, and we were going to do what you wanted," Matt answered. "What?" Tad asked, looking up at both of us. "You heard me. Isn't that right, Jamie?" I looked at Matt and then at Tad. "I guess so. Matt seems to think it's what we should do, and he convinced me to trust him. I do, so I agreed." Tad's eyes got really big. "Are you both sure?" "I thought that you had decided that you weren't gay," Matt teased. Tad actually smiled a little bit at that. "Well, I'm not sure I am, but I guess I lied a little bit. I still do want to find out what it's like." "I thought so," Matt laughed. "Look, we want to be honest with you. We wouldn't do this for just anybody. So, when we get to your house on Friday, we all have to talk about what this means to everybody. OK?" "Sure, anything you say. Oh shit. Here comes Mark. We can't talk any more right now. Maybe tomorrow, OK?" Tad said quickly. That was fine with me. I didn't want to talk about it ever again. "Hi Mark. How are you doing?" Matt asked when he walked up. "Not bad. How are you guys?" "Just wonderful," I dead panned. Matt elbowed me in the ribs. At least Mark coming up ended the conversation we were having. That was fine with me. I still knew something bad was about to happen between Matt and I. Sunday, August 27, 2000 Dear Diary: I ate breakfast quickly Friday morning. I really wasn't hungry at all. Mom even asked if I felt OK. I wasn't sure. I didn't sleep very much last night. All my thoughts were on Matt and I teaching Tad about gay sex. I didn't want to do it. I just knew, somehow, that it was going to cause problems with Matt and I and break us up. I was really dreading it, but Matt still thought it was a good idea. He wouldn't even tell me what his plan was. He just said it was a surprise. That was what I was afraid of. I carried my big backpack to school that morning, since I had to take clothes for two days with me. Matt ran out to meet me as I walked to their door. He sure seemed happy. And that didn't exactly calm me down. If anything, it just made my apprehension grow. We didn't see Tad until lunch. He did have a big grin on his face as we ate. How he could grin and eat this slop was beyond me. When we were finished eating, he almost drug both of us back to our `spot`. If anything, we even walked further away from the school. "Thanks for doing this for me, guys. You don't know how much I appreciate it. Matt called me last night and told me that this can be only one time, and I agree. I don't want to do anything to break you both up. If I really find out I am gay like I think I am, I want to find a boyfriend for myself. Then, the four of us could hang out together, and no one would feel out of place," Tad said quickly. I just looked at Matt. He hadn't told me that he had talked to Tad last night. I wonder who else he had talked to. Snap out of it, Jamie. You are letting your suspicions go crazy. "That would be fun, Tad. Maybe all four of us could go camping sometime," Matt answered. "Well, I have never been camping, so I don't know if I would enjoy that or not," Tad said. "Oh, I think you would. Jamie had never been, either, but he sure liked his first time camping. Didn't you, Jamie?" Matt kidded. "I guess you could say that," I answered, smiling back at Matt. "You both did it when you went camping, didn't you?" Tad asked. "Come on, Tad. We have already told you, no personal questions," Matt scolded. "OK, OK. Sorry. I can't wait for the school day to be over. What do you guys want to do first?" Tad asked. "Why don't we just take it slow and easy when we get there and let you decide, OK?" Matt asked. "Yeah, that would be fine with me. I'm just kind of nervous, you know?" "Sure, we both understand. Let's go ahead and get ready for P.E. Shooting basketball for a few minutes will take your mind off of it," Matt answered. "Ok with me. I don't know if I really want anything to take my mind off of it, though," Tad joked. We started walking towards the gym, just as we saw Mark rounding the corner. "Hi, guys. Where are you going?" he asked. "We're going to get ready for P.E. and shoot baskets for a few minutes. Want to come and shoot with us?" Matt asked. "Sure. That would be fun," Mark answered, as he joined us. We all went to change, while Mark started to warm up in the gym. He was busily shooting away when we finally came into the gym, and he was very good. "Boy, Mark, you sure can shoot," Tad said. "Thanks. I think I'm going out for the basketball team this year. I've been playing in recreational leagues since I was eight. My Dad even coached our team for the last three years." "I'm going out, too. You play guard, right?" Tad asked. "Yeah, either point guard or shooting guard or both. Why?" "Well, I plan to try out as a forward. I just wanted to make sure I didn't have to try out for the position you were going to be playing," Tad answered. Mark just smiled at the compliment and all of us started to shoot. Tad was right, Mark never seemed to miss. He was really good. "Hey guys, I had better go to my next class. What are all of you doing this weekend?" Mark asked. "Jamie and I are spending the weekend over at Tad's house. We're leaving right after school. Don't you live near Tad?" Matt asked. "I'm not sure. Where do you live, Tad?" Tad told him and Mark said, "Yeah, that's not very far. I could ride my bike over. You guys want to play some two on two on Saturday?" "Sure. That would be lots of fun. Tad has a really nice basketball goal next to his garage. All concrete, level, and lots of room. What do you guys think?" Matt asked. Tad didn't look very happy about that. I think he would rather just have sex 24 hours a day this weekend. "Sounds good to me," I said. "Sure, I guess," Tad answered, clearly not very enthusiastic. "Come over about noon, OK Matt? We should all be up by then," Matt said. "OK, see you guys then," Tad answered, and ran happily out the door. "What did you do that for?" Tad asked. "What? You have to take a break sometime, Tad. You'll have plenty of fun, just don't get too greedy," Matt answered, kidding him. "Oh, all right," Tad answered grumpily. That caused both Matt and I to laugh at him, which just made him madder. The Coach came in and interrupted us, or Tad might have gotten too mad. He had plenty of time to get over it, though, as today was lap after lap around the track again, followed by exercises. I hated P.E. almost as much as detention. When school was over, Matt and I added our Math book to our back packs and met Tad on the other side of the school where we had agreed to meet. What's wrong with Math teachers? Don't they give us enough homework during the school week? For some reason, they think they also have to give it over the weekend, too? Oh well, I guess I can do it Sunday after I get home. Tad had a big smile on his face, as he saw us walk up. "Come on guys. My bus is this way," he said. Matt and I lived close enough to the school that we could walk, but Tad lived further, so we had to show the bus driver our parent's permission slips so we could join Tad on his bus. The bus driver looked like he could have cared less. He let us on without hardly looking at the slips. We sat in the very back, where all three of us could sit together. Tad's smile seemed to get bigger and bigger as we got closer to his house. I had always liked Tad, but now I wasn't so sure. I was pretty sure I knew what he wanted, and that was Matt. And Matt had been being very secretive lately. I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all! Soon, we were getting off the bus and were at Tad's front door. He lived in a very large house, much bigger than either mine or Matt's. I was already impressed. He let us in and immediately locked the door. He put one arm around each of us, and said, "What can we do first?" "Why don't you fix us all something to drink, and then show us your room," Matt answered, as he took off his shoes out of habit. I did the same, putting them next to Matt's in the corner next to the door. Tad just looked at us like we were crazy, then took his off too and added then next to ours. I guess his Mom didn't have the same rules as Matt's. But Tad was also an only child like I was. Maybe three kids just make three times the mess as one does. Tad fixed us all a glass of coke and then almost ran up the back stairs to his room. He had a huge room over the garage. He said it was called the bonus room. In any case, it was bigger than any room in my house, maybe as big as any two rooms. He also had a king size bed, 32" TV, and a great looking stereo. I wanted to be adopted by his parents. He locked the door to his room. I guess he wasn't taking any chances, even though his parents had already left for the weekend. "What do we do now?" Tad asked shyly. "Well, why don't you pull all the covers to the foot of the bed. Then I want to tell you both something," Matt answered. Tad almost yanked all the covers completely off the bed. I could tell he was nervous. "OK. I want to go over everything we talked about last night with Jamie listening this time," Matt said. "Fine with me," Tad answered. "Look Jamie, I love Tad. I've loved him for years, and will always love him. He loves me, too. But, I don't love him like I love you. And he understands that. We both agreed that we have too much friendship to ever try and love each other any other way. We are more like brothers. Even if you and I broke up some day, we both agreed that neither of us thought we could ever be together. We would always be friends, always support each other, but that was as far as we would ever go. Even if you were out of the picture. Get it?" Matt asked me. "Yeah, I guess so," I said, not quite convinced. "Look, Jamie, maybe I can put this into words better than Matt can. I have my own phone line, and so does Matt, so we knew we could talk without anyone overhearing us, and we talked for a long time last night. He really loves you, and I think that's great!! I really do. He told me that he and his brothers won't do anything except give each other an occasional hand job now and then. You agree with that?" Tad asked. "Yeah. But they're brothers, and all three brothers have boyfriends," I answered. "He said that Bruce is always super horny. Before Matt met you, why didn't Bruce and Matt have sex together when Bruce couldn't be with Dave?" Tad asked. "I guess Bruce just thought that would be cheating on Dave," I answered, not sure where this was going. "Me too. Sex between Matt and I will also almost be like between brothers. Not quite, but almost. I want it, but only once. Only once, I swear. After this weekend, Matt and I have agreed that we will never have sex together again. See, I don't think I could even tell anyone except you two. I certainly could never ask anyone to teach me except Matt and you. Actually, I am more attracted to you than Matt." "Easy, Tad. Tell him what we said about that, too," Matt interrupted. "Hehehe You're right. Matt said that after this weekend, if he even sees me eying you up in the shower, he will cut my balls off," Tad laughed. "And I will, too," Matt giggled. "I guess I'm confused. If that is the way both of you feel, what the Hell are we doing here?" I asked. "I don't know if I'm gay or not. Sometimes, I still like girls. But, boys turn me on, too. I am so confused, I don't know what to do. Look, I keep your secrets, so you both will keep mine, too, right?" Tad asked. "Sure," I said. "You know I will," Matt answered. "Well, my parents were gone one weekend, and Stephanie Walker came over. I haven't shown you our pool, but it's pretty big, and has a high fence all around it so no one from the neighboring houses can see over it. Steph and I went swimming. In the nude. We made love next to the pool. I really liked it and so did she. We did it several more times after that." "Wow," I said. "Yeah. I liked doing it. No, I loved doing it. So, I'm really confused. I still think I like boys more. I have to know if I can be gay or bi or whatever, or it's going to drive me crazy. And who better to ask to help me than you and Matt?" Tad asked. "Nobody, I guess," I answered. Finally, it was all starting to make sense. And maybe Tad wasn't after Matt at all. I finally smiled. "If you and Matt ever do break up and are not going to get back together, you can always give me a call," Tad said smiling. Oh shit! He isn't after Matt!!! He's after me! "Tad, want to keep your balls, or what?" Matt asked, playing like he was getting angry. "Balls, no balls? Hard question. I guess keep them. Thanks for asking," he answered, as all of us laughed. "So, does that make any sense, Jamie? I just want this weekend. We have all seen each other naked a bunch of times. Not hard, of course. I've never seen Matt hard, ever, and he hasn't seen me. If you can do this for me, I'll be your friend for the rest of my life. I just have to know. One weekend. Nothing ever again. You agree?" Tad asked solemnly. "Yeah. I guess I've been worrying too much. Matt has told me to quit worrying, but somehow, I just got it into my head that you wanted to take Matt away from me," I answered. "No way. Why would I want a little pipsqueak like Matt? If I like guys, it would be an athlete like you?" Tad kidded. "Pipsqueak? PIPSQUEAK??? OK, your balls are history, mister," Matt kidded, as he rushed Tad. "Just kidding. But you know damn well that we could never be together. Just too much history behind us. I do love you though, Matt," Tad said, as he blocked Matt's fake punches and pulled him to him in a hug. "I love you too, my ass hole best friend,"Matt giggled, as he hugged him back. Then, with his head resting on Tad's shoulder, he looked at me and smiled. With his free hand, he motioned me over to join them. I walked over and said, "Get your arm off my boyfriend," forced his arm off of Matt's shoulder and on to mine. We all shared a group hug. All of us grew hard. You could feel each other as our bodies pressed together. That's how it all started. To be continued. We have our own web site now. Come visit our group at www.gayfreezone.homestead.com. Comments are appreciated and always answered. Comments can be sent to fsw99@mindspring.com and are forwarded to a group e-mail account so all the guys can read them too.