Date: Wed, 18 Apr 2001 16:48:36 -0500 From: fsw99 Subject: Chapter Twenty One of Dear Diary Legal Notice: The following story contains descriptions of graphic sexual acts. The story is a work of fiction and has no basis in reality. Don't read this story if: **You're not 18 or over, **If it is illegal to read this type of material where you live, **Or if you don't want to read about gay/bi people in love or having sex. The author retains copyright to this story. Placing this story on a website or reproducing this story for distribution without the author's permission is a violation of that copyright. Legal action will be taken against violators. E-mail responses to the stories, story suggestions or other 'constructive' comments or advice may be sent to: fsw99@mindspring.com. All e-mails will be answered. DEAR DIARY By Stan Chapter Twenty One When we left, Tad and Mark just stared at each other. "Matt can be a wild man at times, don't you think?" Tad finally said. "Yeah. I think that's putting it mildly," Mark agreed. "I can't believe that they can be so gay that openly," Tad said, trying to cover up the fact that he was also gay. "Well, they really do seem to love each other," Mark answered. Tad looked up at him strangely, and Mark quickly said, "You know what I mean. They can't act like they love each other at school or they would be killed. Both of us know, and I guess they acted like they did just because they knew we wouldn't tell anybody. Maybe it makes them feel better. I don't know. Maybe I'm just completely wrong," Mark said, as he blushed slightly, and pulled his eyes away from Tad. "No, maybe you're right. Matt told me he was gay over two years ago. He just told me about him and Jamie about a week ago. We always talked about it over in the corner after lunch. You know, where you came over to talk to us that first day. Well, they really didn't tell me much, just that they were boyfriends. They wouldn't tell me anything specific. They just said it was too personal. How did you find out about them?" Tad asked. Mark blushed again. Tad definitely noticed. "Matt told me when we went camping this last weekend." "So, he just came out and told you?" Tad asked. "It's hard to explain," Mark said, as he blushed hard once again. "Look, I like you. Both Matt and Jamie trust me. And they trust you. Trust me, too. I swear I won't tell anyone anything you tell me," Tad said. Mark looked up at Tad, and they stared at each other for several seconds. "Well, I guess I had some doubts about myself, and Matt and I talked about them. Then, Matt told me he was gay. Jamie heard us talking, and got really mad about it. He thought that Matt had told me about him too, but he didn't. I don't think Matt would ever tell anything about someone else," Mark said. "Me either," Tad answered, as they stared into each other's eyes once more. "Neither one of them tried to make you do anything last night, right? I mean, you did spend the night with two gay guys," Mark asked. It was Tad's turn to blush. After a few seconds, he said, "No way. They wouldn't ever do that to someone who wasn't gay. Plus, they love each other. Even if I was gay, which I'm not, they love each other. Why would they want a third person?" "Yeah. They're boyfriends. They wouldn't want to have a third party. If you were gay, and I know you aren't, you would be lots better off finding your own boyfriend, right?" Mark asked. "Yeah. If I was gay, I would want to find someone to love, just like they found each other. Wouldn't you?" Tad asked, looking deep into Mark's eyes. "Yeah," Mark answered, also staring at Tad, as he moved a little closer. "Mark, I know we don't know each other very well, but can I ask you something?" Tad asked. "I guess so," Mark answered, looking at Tad's mouth. Tad got a little closer, too. "You said that you had some doubts about yourself when Matt told you he was gay. Do you think you might be gay, too?" Mark stared at Tad in the eyes for a long time. Tears stared to pool at the corners. He finally said, "I don't know. Maybe. I'm just really confused. And so scared if I am. You can't tell anybody, please!" "I won't, I swear. I feel the same way." "You do?" Mark asked. "Yeah. And you know what?" Tad asked, getting closer still. "What?" Mark whispered. "I think I really like you." "I like you, too." Tad didn't wait. He leaned in and kissed Mark lightly on the lips. Mark kissed back. Tad kissed him again, and Mark attacked him like someone with pent up sexual emotions that had been building up for a long time, which they were. They were in a fill lip lock in seconds. Talk about timing. That was when we walked in nothing but our underwear. Matt's big plan!!! I just looked at him, pulled him close and whispered," I don't think they need any more help, Einstein." Matt just giggled, and whispered back, "Hey, my plan has just gone faster than I thought." We retreated quickly back to the den. And put our shorts back on. And gave them time to get acquainted. They deserved it. We finally figured out how to turn on their big screen TV, with all the satellite boxes that we had to turn on, and we sat back and watch some really bad TV. We sure hadn't heard much from the kitchen. We went in to look, and they were gone. We didn't go and try to find them. They reappeared maybe forty five minutes later. They walked into the den, arm in arm. Totally naked. Semi-hard. "This was your idea, wasn't it, Matt?" Tad asked. "Me? What do you mean?" Matt asked, laughing. "Getting Mark over here. Telling us that we both knew that you and Jamie were boyfriends. You wanted us to get together, didn't you?" Tad asked with a smile on his face. Mark didn't just have a smile, he was beaming. "Well, maybe," Matt said, as we both stood up. "Looks like if I did have a plan, it worked out pretty good, doesn't it?" "Yeah. Not bad. We do have a couple of things to ask, though." "OK, what?" "We need you to go with us over to Mark's house and help us convince his parents to let Mark spend the night." "I think we can do that. What else?" Matt asked with a big smile on his face. "I want to tell him everything we did last night, but I won't, without you and Jamie saying it's all right." "It's fine with me. Jamie?" I just smiled and shook my head yes. "And you need to teach us both how to prepare each other. We think we are both ready to try and make love to each other," Tad said seriously. "Don't you think that is an awful big step?" I asked. "Yeah. But you have to understand. Both of us have wanted this for a long time, and were way too scared to do anything about it. We had oral sex upstairs, and then we held each other and talked for a long time. I don't know how to describe it, but it was like I loved Mark when we first met. I just know I could have never told him how I felt. It was like I had known him for years after we had just talked a few minutes," Tad said. "I know what you mean. When we walked off together that first day, it was like we had made a connection. That we were already friends. Maybe, love at first sight does exist," Mark said. "I noticed it, too. That's when I first started making my plans," Matt said and giggled. "Don't take so much of the credit. They didn't seem to need our help in the kitchen when we walked up on them," I added. "Oh, you saw us kissing?" Tad asked. "Yeah. Matt's big plan was for us to walk in on you in our underwear and make you think we had been doing something in the den," I added. "And were you?" Mark asked giggling. "No, I was just trying to figure out what Matt's idea was," I answered. "What finally made you both tell each other you were gay, anyway?" "Tad told me that Matt had told him he was gay two years ago. Then he asked me how I had found out. I guess I caved. I couldn't think of anything to say, so I told him that he had told me when we went camping. He asked if Matt just came right out and told me, and I was caught again. I had to tell him something, and I came up with something lame, sounding like I had some personal issues that I wanted to talk to him about, and he guessed from that. We just continued talking and when I moved a little closer to him, so did he, and like they say, `the rest is history`," Mark answered. "So Matt didn't really do anything. You two did it all yourselves," I asked. "Who asked Mark to come over today? Who made them play together as a team? Who made us shirts and them skins? Who wanted to come inside when we did? Who gave them something gay to talk about when we went into the den?" Matt asked, with a huge grin on his face. "Yeah, right," I answered, grinning back at Matt. He was right, and I knew it, but I wasn't ready to let Matt gloat too much yet. "No, Matt's right. If he hadn't set this whole thing up and got us talking today, I don't think either of us would have ever let our guards down so that we could have talked like we did. Plus, neither of us would have ever let the other know that we knew about either of you," Tad answered. "Yeah, and if wasn't for our expert teaching skills last night, Mark wouldn't have gotten nearly as good a blow job as you gave him upstairs, either," Matt laughed. "Hehehehe I asked Tad when we had finished if he had ever done it before, and all he did was blush. You are really cute when you blush," Mark said, as he leaned over and quickly kissed Tad. Tad pulled him to him and kissed him passionately. Both started to quickly get harder. Hey, you have to look, you know? When they finally broke their kiss, Tad said, "Well, I had to ask them first, and I did. I had asked them to teach me on Thursday at school. Jamie about beat up both Matt and I, he got so mad. He thought I wanted to steal Matt from him. I told him I wanted to find a boyfriend of my own, and I have, haven't I?" "Yep. You can't get rid of me now," Mark answered. "I don't want to," Tad said, and kissed Mark once more. "Guys, why don't you go upstairs?" Matt said, giggling. "That's a great idea, and both of us want to. But we need your help one more time, and then you can do anything you want to in our house. The guest bedroom is right down the hall, you know where it is. Can you teach us, like I asked before?" Tad asked. Matt grinned, and said, "Jamie?" I just shook my head like I was crazy, and said "Fuck it! Why not? Let's make a training video!" "Now, that's a great idea. Tad, do you have a video camera?" Matt asked. "NO WAY!! You're crazy enough to do it, too," I yelled. Matt just screamed out in laughter. "Hey, `Matt and Jamie's Learn How To Make Love` video. Why not? It might make us both rich." "Come here a minute, Matt. I want to explain something to you," I said, as I made a quick move towards him. He was too fast and already expecting it. He playfully dodged away. "We'll be the first to pay, if you will just come up and teach us," Tad complained. "I don't have any money with me, but I can get some, too, when we all go over and see if I can spend the night," Mark pleaded. "What do you think, Jamie? A hundred bucks for both of them?" Matt kidded. "If we can get a hundred bucks a tape, I might like the idea, after all," I kidded back. "Come on, guys," Tad begged. "I think we have made them wait long enough, Jamie. OK Tad, go get out a couple of big towels and pull off all the top covers of your bed. Jamie and I will be right up," Matt said. "All right!" Mark yelled, as he and Tad kissed quickly and then ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Matt and I just laughed as we watched them go. Matt walked over to me, took me by the hand, smiled, and quickly kissed me. "I think we've already done a good thing, and what we're going to teach them is another, don't you?" "Yeah, I do. They both seem really happy together," I added. I hated having to tell Matt he was right. I would hear it for weeks. Hand in hand, we headed up the stairs. No explicit details this time. Sorry. It's their business. I will tell you this, though. We taught them the basics, and made sure that they went slow and careful. We prepared each other at the same time. Then, we made love to each other at the same time they did, right next to them. They insisted. I think that when they were finished the first time, they didn't want to take the chance that we would change our minds or not be readily available for lesson two. Each of their first time was doggy style. It just seems to work best when you aren't used to it. When both Tad and Mark had made love to each other once, Tad wanted to try it face to face, so we did too. After that, we all took a break, Matt and I showered together after Tad and Mark had taken their shower, and went over to Mark's house. Bobby and Steve were home, welcomed all of us in like we were old friends, and helped convince Mark's parents to let him spend the night with Tad. On the way back, we had to constantly tell Tad and Mark to slow down walking back. If we hadn't been with them, I think they both would have run the whole way. We left them alone this time. They both knew enough, and we knew they wanted their privacy. Really, so did we. Matt showed me the guest bedroom, and that became our home away from home. Matt and I got up early the next morning, well, pretty early. 10 o'clock. We took a quick shower, then stripped off the sheets, and went down to the basement to see if we could find the washing machine. We did, put in the two sheets, and started the load. We sure didn't want to leave any tell tale signs. When we got back upstairs, Tad and Mark had wandered down. Mark looked like he was still half asleep, but Tad was already starting to get organized to cook breakfast. Both were still naked. We told them about washing our sheets, and made them promise to do the same thing. "I'll go up and take the sheets off your bed while you cook, Tad," Mark offered. "Well, why don't we do that later? I thought we might go back upstairs for a while after Matt and Jamie leave," Tad said, blushing a little bit. "Oh, OK," Mark said quickly, also blushing. "Hey, guys, this is us. We were both beside you for your first time. You never have to be embarrassed around us," Matt said. "You're right. Really, I'm glad we can say anything we want around you guys. I'm just not used to it yet, I guess," Tad said. "Me either. I'll get over it quick, though. Thanks so much for what you did for us," Mark said, as he went over and first hugged Matt and then me. Matt just beamed at him. "I'm glad I could help." "If Mr. Buttinski helped you both, I'm glad too," I said, as I hugged Mark. Tad came over after checking the eggs he was frying and also hugged us both. "You guys are the best," he said. We finally ate breakfast, and it was very good. I made up my mind to ask Mom to teach me to cook. If Matt and I ever had a house to ourselves, I wanted to be able to cook for us like Tad could do. Matt and I waited until the sheets were dry after changing the load from the washer to the dryer, and put them back on the bed, making sure everything looked just like it did when we went in. We packed our dirty clothes, and carried our back packs downstairs. Matt left the tube of KY Jelly in Tad's room. I thought it was a sweet gesture. "I guess we're going, guys," Matt said. "It's a long walk home." "Uh, Matt, can I ask you one more favor before you go?" Mark asked. "Sure." "I know I don't need to ask this, but if I tell you, both of you can't tell anyone, OK?" "You're right. You don't have to ask. What is it?" Matt asked. "Well, besides you guys, only one other person knows I'm gay. He's gay, too. We've been best friends forever. We told each other we were both gay, but we also knew we didn't like each other that way. You both know Jeremy Myers, don't you?" Mark asked. "Yeah! Jeremy's gay? I always wondered about that. He sits beside Jamie and I in Math and History. You know him Jamie, right?" Matt asked. "Sure." Oh shit!!!! Here it comes. "Well, you did such a good job getting Tad and I together, I was just wondering if you could do something for Jeremy. He really wants to find himself a boyfriend, too," Mark said shyly. "Sure. You know Ben Adams? I'm almost sure he's gay. I think they would make a great couple. They're both blonde, both really cute. Let me think about it for a while, OK?" Matt said enthusiastically. "Great! Thanks!! Jeremy is my best friend, well, at least before I met Tad. Well, Jeremy is still my best friend, because boyfriends are on an entirely different level. Right, Tad?" Mark asked as he smiled at Tad. Tad kissed him quickly, and said, "Right!" "Anyway, if you could help Jeremy like you did Tad and I, that would be awesome. Tad has agreed that we are going to call Jeremy as soon as you leave and tell him about us. We could tell him that you are going to try and help him, too," Mark answered, almost jumping up and down in glee. "That would be great. Maybe the five of us could talk about it after lunch in our same spot. I know Jeremy has the same lunch time as us, he just doesn't sit with us. Tell him to join us at our table, OK?" Matt answered, almost bubbling over with happiness. "That's a great idea. Tad and I will do that today. How soon do you think you can get him a boyfriend?" Mark asked, looking at all of us. I looked around at all of them. All three had huge smiles on their faces. All except me. "NO!!! NO FUCKING WAY!!!" I screamed. "Come on, Jamie. We can do this," Matt said calmly. "NO!!! We're not going to become some kind of gay dating service. I did this once. I'm not doing it again!!" I yelled, as I put on my backpack, and made Matt put on his. "We are leaving NOW!!" I said, as I opened the door, took Matt by the hand, and pulled him after me down the steps. "Call Jeremy. Tell him we can talk on Monday. I'll have Jamie convinced by then," Matt said, as I dragged him down the stairs. "NO!!" I yelled. "I'll call both of you tonight while Mr. Temper updates his diary, OK?" Matt yelled back, as I drug him further from the front porch. "NO!!" "Bye, guys," Matt yelled, as he waved at them as I was pulling him further and further from Tad's house. "NO!!" "Jamie, listen." "NO!!" "Jamie, we can do this." "NO!!" "Jamie, think how happy we've made Tad and Mark." "NO!!" "Think how lonely Jeremy is. He's a really nice guy." "NO!!" "Ben is probably lonely, too." "NO!! NO!! NO!!" "You love me right?" I looked at him as I was almost power walking away from Tad's house, dragging Matt with me. "Yeah," I answered after I stared at him for a while. "And you would never do anything to hurt me, right? I stared at him, and he got a big smile on his face. "Right." "And you know I'm going to do this whether you agree or not, right?" I got red in the face and started to get really mad at Matt, then stared him in the eyes. I slowed my walking speed, which had made Matt almost jog to keep up with my longer strides. I didn't say anything for a long time. Then, it hit me. He was right. If I was going to be Matt's boyfriend, he was still going to do what he wanted to, and there wasn't a DAMN THING I could do about it. And, what he wanted to do was help two other gay boys, who were caught up in the system and were too scared to tell anyone else they were gay, or they could face really bad consequences. And Tad and Mark had turned out great, right? "Yeah, I know, damn you," I answered. "OK, long as you agree," Matt answered happily. "See, this is what I think so far......." It was funny, looking back. I was so afraid of anyone even thinking I was gay. All the hatred. All the ridicule. Hey, people still get killed when attacked by gay bashers!!! How long has it been since I even had any idea I was gay. Two weeks, right? Matt has known for over two years. I was paranoid. I never did anything out in public to let anyone know I might be gay. But!!!! But, I held Matt's hand for three or four blocks while we were arguing, right down a residential street. When I looked back on it later, I had really hoped that nobody had noticed. Well, one had. We were lucky that only one had, really. "Hello?" "Jeremy? It's Mark." "Hi Mark. How are you doing?" "Great! Better than great. You know where Tad lives, right?" "Tad from school? Sure." "You need to come over here right now. Can you?" "I guess so. Why?" "Look, Tad and I have some really good news for you, but we need a favor first, OK? Don't ask why, just do it. Run to your front windows. See if you see Matt and Jamie from school walk by your house. They were heading your way." "OK, hold on," Jeremy said, as he ran to the front of his house and opened the front door. He looked up the sidewalk, and could just see Matt and Jamie coming towards him. "I see them. They seem to be arguing, but they're holding hands. What's up with that?" "We'll tell you later. Just watch them, OK, and see if they quit arguing." "OK. This is really weird. They're walking really fast. Jamie seems to be yelling at Matt, but Matt just smiles at him and talks normally. I can't hear what they are saying. Oh wait, they've slowed down, and they're walking slowly again. Still holding hands. They seem to be both smiling at each other now. What the fuck is going on?" "You want a boyfriend? I have one. Tad!" "YESSSSS!!!! NO SHIT!!!! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN????" Jeremy yelled into the phone. Watch them until they get out of sight, and get your butt over here. We have a plan for you, too. Well, Matt does. He and Jamie are boyfriends, too. They just don't show it all the time. They are having a fight over you, believe it or not." "ME!!! Why me???" "Because I told them you were gay." "YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!! You swore you would never tell anyone else!!!" "Calm down. They won't tell anyone. Remember, I asked if you want a boyfriend?" "Yeah. You're still a Bastard!!!" ] "Trust me!!! We are best friends, right?" "Well, we used to be!!!" "Come over to Tad's. We still are, maybe more so now. Let us tell you what Matt has in mind." "OK, I'll be over in a couple of minutes," Jeremy said, as he hung up the phone and ran towards Tad's house. He got there in under a minute. They filled him in, and my life changed totally. His, too. There was one thing for certain. I couldn't control Matt. He had a new goal. He wanted to bring as many gay couples together as he could. I hated it. He loved it. I had one choice. Accept Matt as he was or break up with him. I loved him. Sometimes, I wanted to kill him!!! But, I didn't. Did Jeremy and Ben work out? Yep!!! Did he bring other gay couples together? Yep!!! He was really good at matchmaking. Did we instruct other couples? Oh, yeah! I was embarrassed every time. But, you know what? Matt was doing a really good thing. He made lots of gay boys, who were totally in the closet, come out and fall in love. I really couldn't say anything negative about that. I just was a control type person. I liked to control everything. Could I control Matt? Can you control a hurricane? Can you control an earthquake? Can you control Matt? NO FUCKING WAY!!! But, you know, he must have luck on his side. I can't remember one time he made a mistake, and I would have used that against him. He was dealing with people's lives here, you had to be careful with your good intentions and your advice!!! And I was ready to point that out, if he did something wrong. But, you know, everything had gone good so far, even with me telling him not to go so fast and make sure he knew what he was doing. I had finally given in. I loved Matt, and I knew he loved me. I knew he had helped lots of couples come to the understanding that they loved each other. I have a new attitude. It's called `Let's try and see what we can accomplish`. Matt helps me understand what I can add to any conversation. He is really good. Maybe together, we can help other potential couples. I don't know. All I know is, Matt has done good! And I love him!!! And I have given up trying to change him!!! Hey, anyone out there need a boyfriend? The End One quick note. This is kind of funny, due to the way the story ended, but I just found out today that Matt and Jamie are now officially boyfriends. No, I had nothing to do with this. Matt did. Or Jamie. Also, I kind of switched the personalities of Matt and Jamie in this story. As far as I know, Jamie is Matt's first true boyfriend, even if it over the net (sorry Ozy, but that is what I believe), but Jamie has a little more experience. Anyway, you will learn more about everybody in my next story, "You Can't Go Back". When do you want me to start publishing? Does anybody care? Not many wrote to me that they liked this story, like they did my other two. Maybe I am losing my touch. Let me know. Later Stan We have our own web site now. Come visit our group at www.gayfreezone.homestead.com. Comments are appreciated and always answered. Comments can be sent to fsw99@mindspring.com and are forwarded to a group e-mail account so all the guys can read them too.