Date: Sun, 13 Oct 2002 23:33:40 -0400 From: mr. axl Subject: eddie and the axeman 6 disclaimer if your not supposed to read it then don't this means if your too young go out and live it instead of reading about it' if your old enough but live in a place where the power's that be believe your incapable of makimg such decisions then leave before you get in trouble. and if you insane then read no further as i would hate for a young person to be hurt because of my imagination. and oh yeah this is my shit so don't steal it. axl EDDIE AND THE AXEMAN 6 So there Iwas in this "boys haven".my left arm in a sling,I had a gash in my back 3 or 4 inches long that hurt nearly all the time.and I was being charged for assault with a deadly weapon,and attempted murder.What a bunch of shit,my lawyer said they were makin an example of me,but I had nuthin to worry about I would walk on self defense.You gotta love this fuckin legal system. The first several days went by without incident, my thoughts were consumed with how much I missed my Eddie,(I meanI missed mom and dad) oh god how I missed Eddie,its amazing how much you miss things when they are not tangible,you take these very same things for granted when they are tangible. The other boys werent much bigger than I so they didnt fuck with me too much even though I was a lame duck.I managed to make a few friends but I spent alotta time in counseling and physical therapy so I kept pretty busy,I was amazed at the diversity of the kids here, I mean some were animals and others were simply innocent prey,I was there for 105 days and I was amazed at what I saw in such a short time. I would tell Eddie about it but he was unphased by it simply because of his own past. when I was just starting to get used to bunking alone they brought in a room mate. He was a little guy. "so what's your name?" I asked as soon as they left us alone "Andrew"he said timidly he wore glasses over his green eyes,they were the kind of green eyes that would change from green to hazel.he had shaggy dark brown hair,and he was skinny as a rail.his skin was pasty and white. I couldn't help but think to myself"this kid ain't got a chance in here. "how old are you?"I said tryin to be tough ,I mean this was a boys haven the nice shit wasn't goin to fly here. "I'm 12" again he replied timidly "well you get the top bunk Andrew age twelve,I'm alex if you need anything." he put his few belongings away,toiletries a change of undies,socks,pants and shirt,and a towel and washcloth.(we did laundry everyday) he climbed up on his bunk. I heard him weep,I was suddenly reminded of Reese and my guilt took over, I wanted to protect this kid too but hell I didn't know him from Adam. I just lay there feeling the throb in my arm and thinkin about Eddie.He was supposed to visit me tomorrow and I was so lookin forward to it,his folks wouldn't bring him, so my mom was gonna.It had been nearly a month of hell without him. I dont think we went longer than two days without seeing eachother since we met unless one was outta town, even when we were pissed at one another. I was gettin destracted by the weeping,one thing I came to learn in my torrid life was that the weeping was par for the course but you never quite get used to it and this was my first experience with it,it was one thing to hear it through the door but this was right in my damned ear. "hey Andrew? you alright?" "yeah"he replied "well what you here for anyway?" " I burned down a building. but it wasn't my fault. it was an accident" "accident hell,you either burned it down or you didn't" I said coldly "I was just tryin to keep warm" "so why didnt you just go home if you were cold?" "it was my home" "so turn up the heat" "I had none,only a fire" "you mean to tell me your mom and dad dont have a furnace?" "they're dead"he said coldly I went silent I didnt know what to say. the silence was broke by an orderly tellin me it was time for my session,I wanted to find out more but I was sure I would have time. For the next week I only saw Andrew at night as we had different classes and counseling sessions.My arm was outta the sling and it was feelin better,I would have more free time now that I didnt have physical therapy any longer. Up until now I had the luxery of showering alone most times as my therapy was in the mornings most days and afternoons others. Now I was back with the pack and forced to fit in. For as sexy as it would seem being in an all boy environment it really is not,some of them were pure animals,they fed off of hurtin other kids.I hadn't been showering with them three days, before I saw a kid get raped.I couldn't believe it I thought that shit only happened in prison films. There was a black kid about 15 and two white kids each about my age or so,they wasted no time jumpin on this asian kid who put up one hell of a fight but they were too much for him.they pulled him across one of the benches each of the white boys holdin an arm as the black kid who was atleast 9+inches long and quite thick jumped on and forced himself into him without mercy.The asian boy cried out and even screamed at first until one of the boys covered his mouth with a washrag. I remember that look Jesse got when he gave himself over to Eddie,of blissful acceptance,but there is another look too and I would see that a few times in my stay here.Shortly after the guy is completely in you,when you realize your already raped and you get so tired from struggling you cant anymore.I saw that look come into the boy's eyes and he just lie there and waited til that huge dick was removed from him. When he had finished the white boys took turns on him neither as big as the first but quite well developed.Each time a boy entered the boy would struggle abit but not much.Hisuncircumsized boydick never got hard.That was the first time I saw a boy get buttfucked and not be hard,but it was also the first rape I saw. When they finished they washed up and left him there,I started to walk over to check on him but a kid grabbed my arm and looked at me as if to say dont get involved. Glad I didn't. another boy did goto him and the next day they beat the hell outta him the black boy sayin'"stay away from my bitch" when I got back to my room my head was still spinnin' Andrew lay on his bunk weaping.I asked what was wrong but he didn't reply. He did eventually climb down from his bunk I noticed him limping,then I saw a huge bruise on his thigh. "what happened to you?" "one of the boys kicked me" "yeah they get pretty rough at times" "hey I have to go to the bathoom,will you go with me?" "Andrew if you wanna suck my dick you can do it here" "what!NO"he turned to look at me"they keep beatin me up,if that's what it will take for your protection fine" "we'll talk about it later,let's go" when we got to the bathroom it was full of boys I stood right next to Andrew at the urinal. "hey Andy Panda" a boy about 14 said Andrew just ignored him I glanced over and noticed Andrew was done but wasn't moving he had a nice dick and already had a bit of hair there. when I finished he zipped up at the same time as I. "so Alex you really kill a guy?" everone knows eachother's business in a place like this. "dunno is he dead yet?" the kid just looked at me,I made it a point to put an arm around Andrew and say "lets go" when we got back to the room I said"about that protection,time to pay up" Andrew only looked at me and started to tremble "well get undressed" he did right away I took in his beautiful boy body so skinny with a small tuft of hair above his thin uncircumsized penis "come over here and give me head"he hesitated at first but he was instantly on his knees infront of my bunk he looked up at me pleadingly as he undid my pants. "get dressed"I said I had never forced a boy to have sex with me and I wasn't going to start now. He hesitantly got dressed as I re-adjusted myself I motioned for him to sit next to me. "I'm not like these animals Andrew, I won't force you to do anything you don't wanna.I'll keep an eye on ya though"I said smilin at him"now relax and stop trembling O.K" we talked awhile turns out his mother wasn't really dead but she didn't give a shit about him .his father died of cancer and when his mom got even more distant from him he simply left he had been on the streeets nearly a year now. About two days later while in the shower the huge black kid,Demarcus was his name walked up to me and said "I hear you gotta little boyfriend" "naw just a friend" "well let me tell you somethin white boy,I'm the big dick in this pin and I dont care how many times you hit that boy with your axe" "I just wanna get outta here,I'm lookin out for my bunk mate is all" "like I said don't get in my way,you ain't got no axe here to protect you" "Demarcus I know your the bull in this yard, I aint gonna get in your way,I just want out of here,that's all" "well this is a summer camp compared to where we goin"he walked away laughing. what the hell was he talkin about an axe? I later found out they called me Axeman behind my back,the rumor was that I hit a kid repeatedly with an axe,rumors gotta love em. my protection of Andrew was makin things tense,kids would still jump on him but only when I wasn't around.And they looked at me with contempt when I was. Iwasn't exactly playin up the image. I just stayed close to him and that confused and pissed the others off. One day in the rec room they were boxing, we could only do that when there was an instructer around to referee as we woulda killed eachother if there were not. I saw Joshua in the ring he was one of the guys that ran with Demarcus, he was a cute guy but his attitude sucked and he liked to hurt people I didnt like that. "hey Axeman why dont you put on some gloves and climb on in here?" that was the first time anyone called me that to my face.I definately wasn't scared of this punk and I had boxed when I was younger. "sure you wanna get whooped infront of everybody?" I headed to the ring.We had to wear headgear which was fine cause a coupla kidney shots and this fucker was gonna piss blood for two days. Right away he came at me but I had the reach so I kept circling to my right and jabbing which meant he would have to jab as I moved away from his left. He switched to southpaw so I moved my left,he'd jab I'd slipit and uppercut right on the chin. He was gettin pissed and started to grab on which I was hopin for as I would kidney punch him several times before the ref broke.Joshua was gasping for air after one,I pulled my mouth piece and said "three rounds right?" by the end of two Joshua staggered over to the corner. In the third I played with him coupla jabs and POW uppercut finally he went down blood flowin from his nose when the ref saw it he stopped it. "who needs an axe when you got two hammers baby?" I gloated "you pretty good"Demarcus said smilin"want some of me?" "hell no"I said smilin"I'm crazy I aint stupid" he walked away laughing. What happened in the rec room just stirred the shit even more and they fucked with Andrew even harder.I couldn't be there all the time and they knew it,they wouldn't challenge me but I wouldn't go lookin for them either that would have made me the aggressor and that was suicide.Like I said crazy not stupid. I had been there exactly 60 days(about two months) when all hell broke loose,I hadn't seen Andrew all day although I was in my room all day. I had assumed they either transfered him or he was released or sumthin' Late that night a heard I stirring in the hall and a thump at my door,I knew I was gonna get jumped on for sure, I had no weapon so I grabbed the heaviest thing I could find which was a hard bound version of "the stand" by Steven King(anyone that has read it knows it a heavy book) and I moved towards the door no one in sight so I opened the door and stepped back book drawn back. What I saw still haunts me to this day infront of the door lay Andrew naked and crying. I leaned down and helped him up and in.Now in all that I had done in my life,one thing I had never done was clean blood and shit off of someones ass.He was barely consciouse and I lay him on the bed and whipped his ass off like a baby. When I got him cleaned up I lay there next to him, he was shivering so I covered him with a sheet but he threw it of weekly. I pulled him to me and held him tightly,me in my boxers he completely naked and trembling, he was so small how could they hurt him like this? fuckin animals. "where were you?" he whispered and cried I cried too, I couldn't be there for him always. I knew it and he knew it too.Lookin back now I think thats what haunts me more than the site of him lying there on the floor. He finally drifted off to sleep in my arms. Andrew never told me who hurt him but I had an idea. The next day in the shower there was the boy from the bathroom that day,his name was Gary and he was talkin to Joshua and a bunch of other kids they were havin quite a laugh. I walked up to all seven of them and looked right at Gary and said. "seen Andrew lately?" my eyes never left his,the other boys moved around me. his eyes dropped and said smilin"maybe" "wanna try with someone a bit bigger?" the others moved closer,then this big boy about 16 moved behind me. "I got your back Axeman"his name was Jack but for some reason they called him "Cactus"(never figured that one out ;)) "me too" it was a boy a bout 15 named Matthew eveyone knew he was gay but no-one fucked with him (another mystery) I grabbed Gary and slapped him around,open handed like a bitch slap. When he swung at me I dodged right and punched him tweice in the mouth his lip split wide and he bleed heavy. I kneed him in the gut and let him fall to the ground one last kick for good measure,the others only watched and I walked away and got dressed. "thanks Cactus,Matthew. I owe you guys" My actions did no good at all infact it just kept on. one day I was in my room and I heard all this yelling I just knew it was a fight,I ran towards the yelling and the bathroom and I saw Andrew for the last time,his little body hangin from the I beams by his own little belt. no-one knew rather he did it himself or if someone else did it. I learned the truth when I opened my book and found a note. dear alex, i know you can't always protect me. i'm just so tired, no-one needs me. they all hate me,i'm sorry for whatever i did to piss god off so bad, i didn't mean to. thank you for being my friend i never had one before. your the only one i'll miss. bye andrew. I cried and cried more. I don't remember crying so much in my life. I too couldn't figure out what he could have done to piss god off so bad,why did he deserve to be treated so badly. perhaps I should have stayed out of it. I cried until I slept. The days passed slowly. Oone day in counselling my counselor tried to grill me and shot back at him. "why are you so angry Alex?" "I'm not" "what were you afraid of?" "what do you mean?" "why were you carrying that knife?" "ummm, maybe to protect myself,kind of a good idea don't you think?" "but look where it got you?" "if not for that knife I mighta been dead,or my friend Eddie" "so you were protecting your friend?" "yeah I suppose" "who's protecting him now" "oh give me a break,you gonna fuckin tell me that I fucked up by stabbin that bitch?" "well you are in here now aren't you?" "hey man, I ain't one of these fuckin animals,I'm a bit smarter than that.Try your weak textbook lines on someone else. You probably shoulda read more than one chapter of that psych book" he just looked at me"now your angry" "yeah a bit, I'm in this hell hole listening to you practice what you are obviously not qualified to practice.you may know these animals but you don't know me man.How long would you last here?" "but I'm not here" "ever been stabbed in the shoulder?" "no" "if it happens you better hope you have a knife and your half as tough as me or you'll pass out before you can use it" he only glared at me. "you know i'm innocent, but you have a job to do,I understand.Is there anything else" he shook his head no "can I leave then?" he nodded.so I started to leave "hey Alex.. be careful i dont wanna see you here again you can do so much better" "thanx"and I left. after 105 days of hell I was free they dropped the charges as it was self defense. I guess the point was well taken,I wonder if that asshole judge or prosecuter could have cleaned the blood and shit,the smell alone would have sent them runnin,oh i'm sure either could have pulled that body from the rapters that would have just been business as usual,part of the job. I couldn't wait to see Iddie. I only got to see him twice the whole time I was there not his fault but no-one had time to bring him and mom and dad couldn't bear to come nor could I face em. Life was gonna be back to normal I was so happy(ever been locked up?everything changes nothing is ever back to normal) and I was out before my birthday.i briefly thought of Reese he had his 11th birthday and I missed it damn. School had started I had missed the first two months. but it was all better now.... continued i know the story took a strange turn,i was just excorcising demons. thanks again for the wonderful feedback it truly inspiring. if you heard your name mentioned,it may have been intentional. however if you have failed to write then you can assume it wasn't ;) others i just know and i'm not that original with names lol thanks again axl