I'm Preston, a fourteen-year-old boy stuck in a religious family. That might not be bad except that if Dad had any idea of my desires, he would say I'm gonna burn in hell! I thought I was gay, and Dad claims the Bible says that’s an abomination. I'm not quite sure what that means but I'm sure it's really bad.

The only time I've ever read the Bible was following along in church on Sunday. At least I pretend to follow along or else Dad give me a hard time. Otherwise I never read the Bible. From all the bad things Dad's told me are in the Bible, there isn't anything I'm interested in reading.

Dad is especially homophobic. I'm not as sure about Mom, but she usually goes along with whatever Dad says. I struggle with my gay feelings. I jack-off a couple of times a day – always in complete privacy. My parents would never approve of that either. What is troubling are the things I think about when I jack-off. I think about sucking cocks. I've seen porn of women sucking cocks, but the men sucking was the best, and I would imagine myself doing the sucking. I knew that was completely gay but didn't know what to do about it.

Dad always told me I should confess my sins and repent. We belonged to a Protestant denomination, so unlike the Catholics, we didn't have secret confession. Sometimes people would do an open confession during church service, but I could never do that – especially about being gay!

We had a Youth Pastor – Pastor Scott who was a pretty cool guy. He always told us that he was there for us any time we had something of concern. I felt pretty comfortable talking with him but wasn't sure how safe it would be to do so.

"Pastor Scott, may I ask you a question?" I said one day, and he welcomed it.

"I was wondering if conversations people have with you are private," I asked, "Does anybody else ever find out?"

"Anything you tell me in confidence I am bound to keep secret," he replied, "In fact it's legally protected, just like doctor-patient privilege."

"So my parents wouldn't know?" I asked.

"Not even other members of the clergy," Pastor Scott assured me, "I would take you secret to the grave."

I liked Pastor Scott, and with that assurance I told him I'd like to have a private conversation with him. We agreed that I would come see him at church Monday night at 7pm.

I arrived a little early on Monday and Pastor Scott greeted me, offered me a cola and we went to his office. He closed the door and said, "Now we are all alone and completely private – what's on your mind?"

It was hard to find the right words, but finally I said, "I'm struggling with homosexual feelings."

I felt like I was the only one in the world with this problem, but Pastor Scott assured me that it wasn't very unusual. "Unfortunately, a lot of conservative religious people feel very negatively about that, and it sometimes causes disagreement in the church.

"My dad thinks that all homosexuals will burn in hell," I said, "Is that what will happen to me?"

With a look of deep concern, he said, "No Preston, God loves all his children – he made you this way."

"Dad says it's a choice influenced by the Devil," I replied, "He says God doesn't make junk, and would never make a faggot!"

"He's right that God doesn't make junk," Pastor Scott agreed, "But you certainly aren't junk!"

"It's all so confusing," I said, "I just don't know what to do."

"I think you need to find someone safe to explore your feelings," he advised.

"You are the first person I've ever told this to," I responded, "And I don't know if I could ever tell anyone else."

"Would you like to explore your feelings with me?" he asked.

"I'm not sure I would know what to do," I said.

Pastor Scott stood up, unbuckled and unzipped his pants. He slipped his pants and shorts off and stood there, naked from the waist down. I'd seen this in pictures but never before in real life. He stood immediately in front of me, his large, semi-erect cock bobbing inches from my face. I reached toward him but paused.

"It's okay," he assured me, "Go ahead and touch."

I touched his cock with both hands, and it felt wonderful. Soft and warm yet firming up in my hands. I put one hand under his balls and gently cupped them, afraid I might hurt him. Pastor Scott closed his eyes and moaned softly.

"Am I hurting you?" I asked.

"Not at all," he replied, "You can hold me more firmly – I'll tell you if you begin to hurt me."

I squeezed his cock and began to stroke it. I knew this part well from having jacked-off, but I'd never done it for anyone else. I watched in wonder as his cock grew to enormous size and he told me I was doing very nicely. For once it seemed so wonderful to have someone affirm my secret feelings. I never thought that handling a cock would be this amazing! I wanted to suck him, but was reluctant. I wanted it, but should I? I wasn't sure I even knew how – how do people learn these things anyway? As I held Pastor Scott's fully hard, and now really huge cock, I couldn't resist the temptation to kiss the tip and lick the head.

"That's good," Pastor Scott encouraged, "Keep going."

My lips parted and I sucked him into my mouth. It felt so perfect there – like it was supposed to be there – was that part of God's plan? I was sure it wasn't anywhere in the Bible!

Pastor Scott gasped as I moved my tongue around – I didn't really know what to do, so I just tried different things and he told me when it felt good, so I kept doing them. Running my tongue back and forth along the bottom of his cock head worked really well, and soon I felt him pumping his semen into to my mouth.

Of course I knew that was how cocksucking would end, but I was so consumed with the experience that his climax caught me by surprise. It was strong tasting, but I welcomed it – it was Pastor Scott's way to rewarding a job well done!

"Very nice, Preston," he said, "It's okay to swallow."

I knew that swallowing was usually expected, but now that he reminded me I eagerly did so.

"Thank you for helping me though this," I said as he pulled out of my mouth, "I really appreciate it."

"I think it would be good if we met regularly to explore these issues," he said, and I gladly agreed.

I met with Pastor Scott often, and made a point of participating in any of the youth activities he hosted. He would usually have me stay a little while afterward, and we would find a private place for me to blow him. I found it wonderful that there we only needed a few minutes of privacy for him to give me his load.

One day he asked if I sucked any other boys and I told him that he was the only one.

He told me that many boys would welcome my talented mouth and would introduce me to some if I wanted. I quickly agreed, and soon he had me meet with Jim and Brad – guys I had known for a long time but had no idea of their interests.

They had the opposite problem from mine – they wanted to be sucked and needed to find someone to do it. Thanks to Pastor Scott we found each other. I sucked them both off, and they appreciated my work and thanked me. By then I had a lot of practice, thanks to Pastor Scott, and I became really good friends with Jim and Brad. After a while they said we were "friends with benefits" – a term that was gaining popularity.

Over time I developed many other such relationships. It was wonderful to be able to indulge my desires with guys who valued my work and kept my secret. I would just ignore Dad when he went on his fire and brimstone tirades – I was a cocksucker, and darned proud of it!

  To be continued . . .

Feel free to contact me with your comments or requests.
    –Bill Beaumonte (oral_guy_2000@yahoo.com)