I'm Brad, a fourteen-year-old struggling with my gay desires. It was my own private struggle until one day I came out to my best friend – then I had a whole new set of problems! I knew I was gay because I thought about cock every day – in particular, whenever I would jack-off. I'd imagine myself giving a blowjob and usually cum when my imaginary partner unloaded into my mouth.

I hoped to be actually doing it one day, but for now it was a fantasy. I varied it a little by changing the identity of my imaginary partner. I would imagine myself blowing guys I knew at school. I wondered if I ever would really do it – would they really let me blow them if I asked? That was crazy! I didn't dare ask – how could I let my secret out?

Most often I fantasized about blowing Tom, my best friend. We'd been friends since before we started school – I wanted so badly to share my secret with him – but would we still be friends? I didn't know and was afraid to risk it.

My only confidant was Art, an online gay friend in California. He always seemed to give me good advice. I wished he were a lot closer. I lived on the east coast and was two thousand miles from Art – but at least I could tell Art anything, and I chatted with him online several times a week. He was an adult, but he remembered being a struggling gay boy like me.

Art helped me feel less alone, and often helped me think through difficult decisions. One day I made a big decision:

Me: I keep thinking about sucking Tom – he's my best friend but has no idea I'm gay

Art: Why are you afraid of coming out to him?

Me: I'm afraid it will ruin our friendship

Art: If he's such a good friend he will still be after he knows – you can't keep it a secret forever

Me: I don't know where to start

Art: Just start anywhere and be sincere – the details will work themselves out.

We continued to chat, but that was the most important part. It wasn't the first time we'd had that conversation, but this time I resolved to act on it. The next day when I saw Tom, I said, "We've been best friends forever, and I need to tell you something, but I'm afraid."

"You can tell me anything," Tom replied, "What's there to be afraid about?"

"I don't want to spoil our friendship," I confessed, "But I feel so confused."

"Just say what you have to," said Tom, "We're best buds – what could possibly be so bad – are you an axe murderer or something?"

"Almost as bad," I confessed, "I'm gay."

"You mean you like guys, and not girls?" he asked.

"I like girls," I replied, "But I want to do things that straight guys don't do."

"Like what?" Tom asked.

"I wanna suck cock," I confessed, and was immediately ashamed.

"Wow!" responded Tom, "That's pretty gay alright."

"I've never really done it," I insisted, "But I think about it a lot."

"Everybody thinks about stuff," Tom assured me, "That doesn't make you gay."

"But I really want it," I said, "And would do it if I could."

"Gay or not," assured Tom, "We're still best friends."

That was all we talked about. I was glad I told him, but really didn't know why I did. The next day Tom approached me and said, "I've been thinking about what you said, and I have an idea."

"Oh?" I replied, "Tell me more."

"I've never had a blowjob but sure would love one," Tom replied, "And you want to do it, so ..."

"You want me to blow you because I'm gay!" I said, feeling insulted. This just didn't feel right.

"Isn't that why you told me?" he asked, "Now I'm confused."

I felt like our friendship was falling apart and I didn't want that to happen. "I am too," I admitted, "Let's give this some time."

For the rest of the day I thought about blowing Tom. Part of me wanted to but I wasn't sure – I felt torn up inside about it.

After sleeping on it I saw things differently. When I saw Tom at school I said, "Okay, I'll do it."

Tom smiled and we agreed to meet at his house after school. I thought about it all day – how many times I'd jacked off thinking about Tom in my mouth and soon it would really be happening!

At Tom's house we were both nervous and he asked me how this was supposed to work. I had no idea what to say, so I just knelt on the floor and told him to take his cock out. He did and I stared at his cock for a moment, and then eagerly took him into my mouth.

It felt amazing! Tom's cock in my mouth felt so right – like it belonged there. As I sucked I knew it was what I really wanted. I looked up and our eyes met. While I loved Tom's cock in my mouth I felt odd about making eye contact. I could tell that Tom now looked at me in a way he hadn't before.

I realized I was doing exactly what I'd wished for, so I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the wonderful feel of Tom's cock in my mouth – it was perfect for me and I intended to enjoy every precious moment of it. I moved my tongue around his contours and learned the shape of my best friend's cock. As I felt him enlarge slightly, I anticipated his load and welcomed the feel of him pumping into my mouth. It was strong tasting, as I expected, but I'd waited so long for this that I just enjoyed the manly taste of Tom's cum.

I continued to hold him in my mouth until he pulled out and said, "I need to be alone now – sorry."

That took me completely by surprise. I just gave Tom a blowjob and now he's asking me to leave – that sucks! I got up and departed. This really bothered me. I just did Tom a wonderful favor, but now he wanted me out of there – like he didn't want to be around a faggot.

I got online and looked for Art. When I connected with him, I told him all that had happened, and he had some surprising insights:

Art: A lot of guys have a change of heart when they cum – he may have been feeling some guilt

Me: I don't get it – I thought he really liked my work!

Art: It doesn't always make sense, but give it some time – he'll be horny soon

I knew Art was right but didn't relish the idea of Tom only wanting me around when he needed a blowjob. I feared that I may have ruined our friendship. As much as I liked sucking him, our friendship was far more important. I replayed what happened in my mind over and over but could make no further sense of it.

I felt so ashamed about ruining my friendship that I avoided Tom at school the next day. It was pretty easy because we didn't have any classes together but had the same lunch period. We usually had lunch together but today I got my lunch and sat by myself far away from our usual place. I hoped he wouldn't see me but soon I heard, "You mad at me?"

I looked up at Tom and said, "No."

"We gotta talk," Tom said, sitting down next to me, "Brad, I'm really sorry for what happened – I took advantage of you and now I think I've screwed up everything."

"Is that why you kicked me out afterward?" I asked.

"I'm sorry about that too," he replied, "I just felt so guilty I couldn't handle it. After you left, I got over it but realize I took advantage of you, and I'm so sorry."

I never imagined that was behind all this. "Tom," I thought I messed things up when you said you wanted to be alone – you gave me the chance to do something I really wanted, and I loved it!"

"So you're not mad at me?" Tom asked.

"No," I said, "But I value our friendship above everything else, and I don't want to mess it up."

"Do you think if we kept doing what we did it would be okay?" Tom asked.

I wasn't sure, but knew I wanted his cock in my mouth again, so I agreed, and we planned to go to his place after school. The rest of the school day I thought about sucking Tom again, and my cock was hard all through class. I had to hold my books in front of me when I walked between classes.

After school I went to Tom's and he welcomed me in. He asked if it would be okay if he was naked while I sucked him, and I quickly agreed.

Tom stood naked before me and I gazed with desire at his cock. He was semi-hard, but once he was in my mouth he quickly grew to full size. Tom moaned as I sucked him and ran his fingers through my hair. I put my hands on his hips and then moved to hold his buns in my hands, pulling him to me as I pressed my nose into his pubic hair. It all seemed so wonderfully right, and I knew this was the way it was supposed to be – and hoped that Tom felt the same way.

His hard cock was a little too long to fit comfortably into my mouth, since the head would hit the back of my mouth, causing me to gag. I couldn't hold him there for long, but it was important to me to learn to take it, and I would press my nose to Tom's body, forcing him in all the way. I learned to tolerate the gag feeling for a bit, but soon had to back off. I repeated this, and made swallowing motions with my throat as I did and it really got Tom going. "I'm gonna cum!" Tom exclaimed, and I pulled back a bit so he would shoot into the front of my mouth and not down my throat. The idea of Tom shooting directly down my throat was arousing, but I wanted to taste every drop of his strong cum.

His load was strong, as before, but it somehow tasted better this time. Perhaps my desire for Tom influenced how I perceived his taste, but it left me wanting to get as much of his cum as possible. Now that he came, I worried about his having another change of heart, but it was different this time.

"Wow!" said Tom, "That was intense! – I gotta sit down." Tom pulled out and sat down on the couch. I sat down in a chair across from him, holding his load in my mouth. I was glad Tom didn't kick me out like he did last time, but instead he was looking at me in a way that was different. I realized that I was a faggot and he was a real man – was that the way a real man looks at his faggot?

His faggot – I thought about that as I moved my tongue through Tom's load in my mouth. If I was going to be anyone's faggot, I wanted it to be Tom’s – I realized that our relationship would never be the same again and just hoped it would include a lot of cocksucking.

Finally, I swallowed Tom's load and said, "You seem to be looking at me in a strange way – like I am somehow less in your eyes?"

"No!" insisted Tom, "That's not it at all – I don't know exactly what I'm feeling, but I somehow feel closer to you than I ever have before – and I like it!"

"Any regrets?" I asked, wanting to make sure everything was alright.

"Just that this was very one-sided," Tom said, "I wish you had cum as well, but I just can't return the favor."

"I would never expect you to," I assured Tom, "But if it's okay with you, I could jack-off with your cock in my mouth."

"Brad," replied Tom, "It would be so hot if you did that – just knowing that sucking me is so exciting to you is wonderful – take off your clothes and let's give it a try!"

I took off my clothes and got on my knees once again. Tom stood up and approached. I took his soft cock in my mouth and lovingly moved my tongue around it as I began to stroke. I felt Tom enlarge in my mouth as I sucked and stroked – this was better than any jack-off fantasy I'd ever had – it only took a few minutes to cum and I shot my load into my other hand.

Tom smiled as he saw me cumming. I looked at my cum in my hand and thought I'd just go wash my hands, when Tom asked, "You gonna swallow that too?"

"Sure, why not?" I replied, and raised my hand to my mouth and licked up my cum. While I wasn't accustomed to swallowing my own cum, it became a tradition for me to do so whenever I came sucking Tom. Whenever Tom's cock was in my mouth, I just felt so close to him, and really loved the way we could share our cumming in this way.

Tom said that whenever possible I should cum with his cock in my mouth, so whenever I blew him in private, I came that way. There were other blowjobs – quickie's – that were done quickly between cars in a parking lot or behind bushes, but I got a chance to cum more often than not.

Tom told me that my sucking him made him feel differently about me. At first that concerned me, because I thought he might be looking down upon me as a "lowly cocksucker". I was delighted to find that he meant that he really appreciated me more, and that our friendship was stronger than ever.

Tom invited me to sleep over at his house on Friday night. He said he had a spare bed in his bedroom, but I doubted I'd be spending much time in it – at least not alone.

I arrived Friday shortly after school – before Tom's parents got home from work. Tom was looking at some girlie magazines. I thought he was getting worked up for a blowjob, but instead he commented on how much he loved a girl's ass. I looked at the magazines and saw that the featured ass pictures – some spread wide – and pictures of anal sex.

"Could I see your ass?" Tom asked.

That was unexpected, but I went along with it. I undressed and stood there with my back to him.

Spread your legs and bend over," he said, which I did.

"Now spread your cheeks," Tom asked. As I did, I heard him gasp.

"That's so damn hot!" Tom exclaimed, and he approached me and ran a finger up and down my crack.

Tom led me to the end of the couch and had me lean over the couch arm with my legs spread.

He knelt behind me and I felt his hands spread my cheeks and felt his lips kiss my hole. Next his tongue slipped into me and it felt wonderful! I would have never imagined anyone doing such a thing, but it felt truly wonderful. I moaned with pleasure and felt my cock hardening.

Tom got up and I thanked him. He explained that it was called rimming, and he had always wanted to rim a girl's ass, but never found one who would let him.

"There are just so many things a girl won't do," I said, "I like them, but I like cock better."

"Brad, your ass looks just like a girl's ass," stated Tom, "Except for the balls hanging down, which I can easily ignore."

I thought I knew what Brad really wanted. He'd told me he had tried to talk girls into letting him fuck them in the ass, and none would. I didn't know what it would be like, so I said, "You can fuck me if you like, as long as you don't hurt me.”

"I've been reading all about it," said Tom, "And I think I know how to do it so it will be good for both of us – I just need to go slow and use plenty of lube.”

"Then let's do it!" I said.

Tom took lube and spread it all over my hole, slipping his fingers in and out. It felt strange, but really nice – I hoped his cock would feel as good.

Next he lubed his cock and pressed the head against my hole. "Now just relax as much as you can, and press out, a little, like you're taking a dump.” I did so, and felt Tom stretch me as he pressed in.

"You okay?" Tom asked, and I said I was. He was stretching me, but I liked the feeling. Once his cock head was in, he told me to just hold him in there and get used to it. I enjoyed the feeling of Tom entering me this way, and soon began to push back against him to get more. Tom obliged me by slipping in all the way. Tom put his hands on my hips and began to pump in and out of me.

I don't have the words to describe how I felt, but like the first time I sucked Tom, I knew it was right and wanted more of it!

I knew that Tom was loving this, but it seemed that I was the one being treated! Soon Tom came and pressed all the way in as his cock drained into my bowels. I'd read stories about guys claiming they could feel the cum inside them, but I don't think they are true, but I sure felt Tom's cock inside me!

Tom pulled out and went stepped out of the room. When he returned, he said, "My cock is clean so you can jack-off now."

I eagerly got on my knees and stroked, holding Tom's mouth lovingly in my mouth. I moved my tongue around his cock, enjoying the now-familiar details of my best friend's cock. I was careful to be gentle about it since he'd just cum and was really sensitive. Even so, his spent cock began to respond and became semi-hard. I really loved the way Tom responded to my attentions, but it aroused me as well and soon I came in my hand. As usual, I licked it up and swallowed. I wished I was swallowing Tom's cum as well, but it was nice to have it up my ass!

Tom's parents would be home soon so we got dressed – there would be more fun at bedtime. After his parents were home, we had dinner and watched TV for a while, before retiring to Tom's room, where we played video games. All the time I thought about what had happened. Blowing Tom made a lot of sense, since I'm gay and he's straight – or so I thought. Fucking me made a lot of sense, but I was really surprised when Tom rimmed me. Sure, I loved it, but a straight guy would never stick his tongue up another guy's ass!

Our relationship changed when I first sucked Tom – but this was more than I could have imagined. At bedtime Tom told me I could use the bathroom first, so I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed – and more. I got into bed while Tom used the bathroom. I lay there naked, eager for Tom's cock once again. When Tom returned he sat on the bed next to me. To my surprise, he leaned over and kissed me. I'd never kissed a guy before, but went along with it, and soon I began to like it.

"I love you Brad," said Tom, once again surprising me.

I didn't know what to say, so there was silence for a bit, and I finally replied, "I sure didn't expect that!"

"I've liked you for a long time," said Tom, "But every time you sucked me, I liked you even more, and now I'm in love with you."

"But you're straight!" I protested.

"To everyone else," insisted Tom, "But this is just between us." He leaned over and kissed me again, and I responded with enthusiasm. Tom climbed up and knelt over my head, and I eagerly took his cock into my mouth. Soon he was hard and ready to cum, but he pulled out, saying, "I don't wanna cum too soon."

He pulled out and lay next to me, handling my cock as we continued to kiss.

Since then Tom and I were lovers as well as best friends. We both date and enjoy girls and try to go as far as we can with them, but know we always have each other to fall back on.

We married and found every opportunity to get together, especially when our wives got tired of sex, which happened a lot faster than we expected. Hunting and fishing trips were great covers, but we rarely came home with much. Our wives complained that we weren't very good at it, but we just said we loved the time outdoors. Truth was that we love the time together!

  To be continued . . .

Feel free to contact me with your comments or requests.
    –Bill Beaumonte (oral_guy_2000@yahoo.com)