I 'm Bill, and for a long time I struggled with what I thought was a terrible secret. I considered myself to be completely straight, yet I wanted to suck cocks. I'd never done it but wanted to badly. It all started with online porn. At first I looked at straight porn – usually women in alluring poses. Then I found the pictures of men and women together and they were even more arousing.

Of all those action pictures, I found the blowjob pictures to be the hottest. I hadn't yet begun to date, but from what some of the older guys at school told me, most girls won't do blowjobs, and the few that do wouldn't let guys cum in their mouths, claiming they would never take that vile stuff in their mouths. Naturally, swallowing was out of the question.

But the women in these pictures seemed to like it, and soon I found these blowjob pictures to be the hottest. I imagined these women sucking me, but one day I began to wonder what it would be like to be in the woman's place. Don't get me wrong – I had no desire to be a woman, but I wondered about cocksucking. Soon I was fantasizing about sucking the guy in the picture, and came more quickly than usual, but then I felt a horrible feeling of guilt and shame wash over me.

I came while wanting to suck a cock! To me, that was about the worst thing a guy could ever do! It kind of spoiled the climax, but the next time I went to jack-off, I pulled up blowjob pictures and again fantasized about sucking, only to feel bad when I came.

After the guilt passed, I wondered what cum actually tasted like, so I resolved to taste my cum the next time. I jacked off to a picture of a guy cumming in a woman's mouth, and then shot my load into my other hand, planning to lick it up immediately afterward. But I lost my nerve once I came – I later learned that it was sometimes called a "change of heart", but as I looked at the load in the palm of my hand I just felt disgusted. I ran to the bathroom and washed my hands, watching my cum go down the drain.

I tried other times, but it was always the same. I didn't understand why I was having those guilt feelings – the thought of sucking really aroused me, but afterward the thought of my being a cocksucker really bothered me – I could never really do such a thing – it was just a jack-off fantasy.

Then I remembered seeing gay porn. I'd always skipped past that, but now looked for it and the cocksucker pictures were even more arousing than the straight pictures. But what surprised me was the way the suckers all seemed to be having a wonderful time! I knew it had to be good for the guys being sucked, but what were the suckers getting out of it? Maybe they were like me, getting aroused from sucking a guy.

Or was I just like them? No way! They were faggot cocksuckers and I was straight! I would never really suck a cock – it was all just a harmless jack-off fantasy – nothing more.

One day I had just begun to jack-off when the doorbell rang. I zipped up and went to the door. It was Jon, my friend from next door. John was a year older than I was and went to the same high school. He had no idea of my secret desires, and I intended to keep it that way.

We walked toward my room, with Jon just ahead of me. Then I realized that my computer was still on, and I had a gay cocksucking picture displayed. Jon saw it as soon as he entered my room and took a closer look.

"You like cocksucking?" he asked. My heart was pounding and I struggled to find a plausible excuse for this. My cock was hard, but hopefully hidden in my pants.

"I just found that by accident," I lied.

"But you like it," he said, "I can tell by the bulge in your pants – you were jacking-off to it, weren't you?"

"I was looking for some straight porn to jack-off to, and found this by accident," I insisted.

Jon went to my computer and hit the "back" button on my web browser. Another gay cocksucker picture displayed. "Was this one an accident too?" I couldn't think of a good explanation, so I said nothing.

Jon looked back at previous pictures, finding a total of five guys sucking. "Well, it looks like you really like this sort of thing."

"It's nothing," I finally said, "I was just curious about it."

Jon turned to me and rubbed his crotch – I could clearly see his bulge, and it was a lot bigger than mine. Maybe he wanted to suck cock as well.

I couldn't help but stare, and Jon quickly noticed. "You want to try sucking me?" he asked, as he unzipped and took out the biggest cock I'd ever seen! I wanted it but didn't dare let my desire show!

"I'm not like that!" I protested, as Jon drew closer. He put both hands on my shoulders pressing me down. I knew he wanted me on my knees but I tried to resist, but I grew weak and soon my face was inches away from Jon's enormous cock!

"I saw the porn you were jacking-off to," he said, stroking his cock to full erection, point right at me, "And the way you are looking at my cock tells me you want it."

"Just curious," I claimed, "That's all."

"Curious about tasting it?" Jon asked.

"A little," I admitted. Why did I say that? I wished I could take it back!

"Then go ahead – take your time, get to know it," he said, as his cock seemed to grow even bigger and almost reach out to my mouth!

With Jon's cock only an inch away, my willpower was beginning to fail, and I said, "Maybe just this once – if you promise not to tell." Jon drew closer, touching his cock head to my lips. I couldn't help myself, as my tongue slipped through my lips and licked the underside of Jon's cock head.

"Mmmmmm – nice!" said Jon, "Taste more of it – I want you to grow accustomed to every bit of it – my length and girth."

I was really nervous – I really wanted this but was terrified.

"Take some more," Jon urged, "I won't tell – as long as you service me."

I suppose that meant that if I stopped now that he might tell others, but if I sucked him, he wouldn't. I was still really nervous about this but parted my lips and Jon's cock entered my mouth.

I could only take the head and a few inches of the shaft, and he was really thick – I felt like my mouth was wide open – I hoped I was doing this right.

My inhibitions began to subside as my arousal took over. I took more of Jon's cock in as he pressed toward me. When his cock reached the back of my mouth I gagged, and Jon pulled back for a moment, and then pressed in again, making me gag once more.

"That's normal," Jon assured me, "In time you'll learn how to suppress your gag reflex."

For a little while we practiced, each time Jon gagged me a little longer. I didn't like the feeling of gagging, but sure liked what was causing it! My eyes were watering and soon tears ran down my cheeks.

"You like that, cocksucker?" Jon asked. I definitely did, but sure didn't like being called a cocksucker – that was about the worst thing a guy could be called!

After all that gagging, I needed a rest, so I pulled back, and watched Jon's huge cock withdraw – it was amazing that I'd taken so much of it! "I'm not a cocksucker!" I insisted.

"That's exactly what you've been doing, so why not face up to it?" he replied, "It's not an insult – in fact I really like you being a cocksucker!"

"I don't think I'm very good at it – I probably suck like a girl," I said.

"You're new at this, but you'll get better with practice," assured Jon.

"Will you teach me to do it right?" I asked, surprising myself that I'd ever ask such a question.

"Yes, I will be your suck mentor, and nobody will ever know," he said.

"What must I do?" I asked.

"Just suck me every day," Jon answered, "Practice makes perfect, and I'll make you a master cocksucker."

"Jon, are you gonna cum in my mouth?" I asked.

"Yes," Jon replied, "You're gonna swallow it and thank me for it."

"But I heard it tastes really terrible," I protested, "I don't want to puke."

"I think you'll like it," he explained, "And will begin to crave it."

"Maybe I could just finish you off by hand this time – would that be ok?" I pleaded.

"No," he said firmly.

"You have come this far," added Jon, "You know what to do. It's what you're meant to do. It's what you want to do!"

I want to, but I'm afraid of how I will react. "Please don't cum in my mouth. Isn't this enough for my first time?"

"You deny that you want it, just like you denied wanting to suck me. You know you want my cum."

"I promise I'll take it next time," I tried to bargain with Jon.

"You'll take it now!" Jon said, and plunged his cock into my mouth, gagging me once again. Then he put his hands on my head and held me firmly as he pumped his huge cock in and out of my mouth. I later learned this was called a "face fuck", but it felt like I was being orally raped, but I kind of liked this.

I was helpless to resist, but in truth I loved every moment of it. "I'm gonna cum soon," Jon said, "And I'll hold your head, so you take it all. When I cum, don't swallow just yet."

Suddenly Jon's cock began squirting his hot load into my mouth. It was strong tasting and unlike anything else. Kind of a shocking taste at first, but as I held it in my mouth the taste seemed to improve. I loved the fact that my fondest jack-off fantasy had come true just now!

Jon pulled out, leaving only his load in my mouth. "Now keep it in your mouth and jack-off for me," Jon said, "Show me how much you loved sucking me."

I needed no further encouragement, and quickly struggled to get my fully erect cock out of my pants. I stroked myself and in only a few minutes I had the most amazing climax. I shot my load into my hand as I'd done many times before, but then the guilt and shame hit me worse than ever!

I'd crossed a line and could never go back. How could I ever hold my head up, now that I was a cocksucker? I wanted to spit out Jon's cum – in fact I just wanted to escape all of this!

"Swallow," ordered Jon. Despite the way I felt, I swallowed, surprised that I could, given my shame.

"Good," he added, "Now eat your own cum."

I'd never had the nerve to do so, but at Jon's urging I brought my hand to my mouth and licked up my cum, swallowing it. It tasted strong, but a little different than Jon's. I was kind of glad that my shame didn't paralyze me, but wished it wasn't there at all.

"How do you feel about what you've just done?" asked Jon.

I couldn't make eye contact with Jon, and just looked down at the floor, answering, "Kind of ashamed."

Jon stepped closer and put his hands on my head, tilting it upward and saying, "Look me in the eyes."

I made eye contact, a little embarrassed that I sucked his cock.

Then Jon continued, "You are a cocksucker – no question about it, and soon you'll be a very good cocksucker. I know you'll be sucking me every day to protect your secret. What you've done is an honorable thing, though not something you want everybody to know about. Now open your mouth."

I opened my mouth and Jon put his cock back in. It was soft now, but still huge. My shame was beginning to fade, and I realized that his cock actually felt good in my mouth, like it belonged there.

"Look up here," Jon said, and once again I made eye contact, but this time with his cock in my mouth.

To my surprise, he had his cell phone out and snapped a picture of me sucking him. I was shocked!

"What's that for?" I demanded, feeling like I'd been violated.

"It's for your protection," Jon explained, "In case you change your mind, this picture will remind you that you are a cocksucker, and you will continue to suck me, just to keep others from seeing the proof."

"But you promised to keep this between us!" I said.

"And I will," assured Jon, "You just need to keep up your end of the bargain and suck me every day."

"I will," I promised, knowing that by wildest dreams had now become a reality!

Later, as Jon was leaving, I said, "Thank you for letting me suck your cock – and thanks for cumming in my mouth."

Special thanks to my online friend Jon Thomas, for inspiring this story

  To be continued . . .

Feel free to contact me with your comments or requests.
    –Bill Beaumonte (oral_guy_2000@yahoo.com)