I 'm Joey, a middle school guy who has struggled to get by in a world dominated by guys tougher than me. The fact is that I'm small and frail, with delicate features that some think are feminine. In truth, I like them and really wish I was a girl, but I was born a boy and have to deal with it. For much of my life I've been picked on by other guys, sometimes called a faggot (or worse).

I have an older sister, and I've collected some of the clothes that she's outgrown. When I am home alone, I like to dress in her clothes and admire how wonderfully girlish I look in the mirror. Other times I wear panties under my boy clothes, except on days with gym class, because we have to change in the locker room, and I sure wouldn't want the other boys to know my secret – then they would really pick on me.

That worked out well until one day I forgot and wore panties on a gym day. I considered skipping class, but knew I'd get in trouble if I did. I was a good student, and just didn't do things like that.

I decided to arrive in the locker room a little late and delay until the other guys had changed and left – then I'd quickly change and join the class. The teacher, Mr. Benson, noticed me slipping into class late and assigned me extra pushups and a few laps for my tardiness. That was sure better than letting my secret out!

After class I killed a little time until all the guys had left. Then I quickly changed my clothes. Just when I thought it was all working out okay I heard "Well look at this – Joey's a little girl!"

I looked up in horror and saw Dave and Chris, who I thought had already left. I couldn't have been in a worse condition – I was wearing only the panties and socks! They approached and Dave grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to him. Chris took my clothes out of my locker and walked away with them.

"Leave me alone you guys!" I said but was beginning to cry.

"You look like you're already part-way to being a girl – you cry like a girl – you wanna be a girl for me?" Dave said, looking especially menacing.

"Please, just leave me alone," I pleaded, as Dave unzipped his pants and took out his cock. He was so much bigger than I was.

He stepped closer and said, "Go ahead, you know you want it – just suck me off and you'll get your clothes back!"

I refused and Dave punched me in the stomach, making me fall to my knees. He mistook this for submission and brought his cock to my lips, but I resisted. "You want another punch?" he threatened.

I didn't want him to hit me again, so I gave in and opened my mouth. He slipped his cock in and took hold of my head and pumped his cock in and out. He was literally raping me orally, while Chris watched, probably expecting to go next. Dave came in my mouth. It was a terrible taste, and I just wanted to puke. Dave let go of me and pulled back. As he did, I fell to the floor and just stayed there, hoping they would just leave.

Suddenly I heard, "What the hell is going on here?" It was our gym teacher, Mr. Benson. He quickly assessed the situation, seeing me on the floor and Dave with his cock out.

"You guys got shit for brains?" he demanded of them, "If Joey makes a fuss about this you could both be expelled, and you'll be off the football team!"

Dave and Chris tried to talk their way out of it, but Mr. Benson wasn't buying any of it. He told them to get out, and said if they were smart they would make it right with me and not to tell anyone! I couldn't imagine how they could possibly make this right with me.

Then Mr. Benson came to me and asked if I was alright. I thought I was in a lot of trouble for sucking Dave, but my teacher was more concerned about me. He took me into his office where I sat down, still wearing only panties and socks. Mr. Benson called the school nurse, who showed up in a few minutes and looked me over. I felt really humiliated. She asked me to tell her what happened and wanted me to name the boys who did it. I said I didn't want any more trouble and just wanted to put it all behind me.

Mr. Benson knew the boys, but wasn't saying anything. Finally the nurse said, "I think we should call your parents."

"Oh, please don't do that!" I pleaded, "That will make it even worse."

After a little more discussion and my assurance that I was okay, she agreed not to call my parents or even make a record of this happening. Mr. Benson found my clothes and I got dressed.

I was sure that, despite Mr. Benson's warning, that Dave and Chris would tell everyone, and this would be all over school. I felt so humiliated that I actually considered suicide. Life had been difficult enough for me until now, but now it seemed unbearable!

The next day Dave and Chris approached me and I feared he would make trouble for me. "We just wanted to apologize to you for what we did to you yesterday," said Dave, "It was wrong and we shouldn't have done it."

I said nothing, and the two guys seemed to get nervous. "We promise we won't pick on you in any way from now on," Dave continued, and extended his hand, "Can we be pals?"

I took his hand and shook it, nodding my head. They invited me to watch their football practice after school today, and I accepted. Perhaps I could get to know some of the popular guys and my life would change.

I saw Mr. Benson in the hallway, and he asked me to come see him in his office at lunch time. I agreed and wondered if I was in trouble about yesterday. I worried about it all morning, but when I went to see him, he just smiled and said he wanted to check in with me to see how I was doing.

"I'm okay," I assured him, "I was really shaken by what happened yesterday, but it's okay now."

"I realize that your wearing panties doesn't necessarily mean that you are gay," he said, "But if you are, it's best to keep that secret."

"I've been trying to do just that," I said, "But yesterday I forgot to wear my boy underwear."

"I'll bet you won't do that again!" he said, smiling.

"I sure won't!" I agreed.

"If you are indeed gay," he continued, "You may have urges that are difficult to control, and if you need to act on them, it's good to find someone who is good at keeping secrets. I would never reveal your secret."

I had to think about this for a bit – what was he saying? – was he propositioning me? I thought I better be sure, so I asked, "You mean, if I had such urges, I could act on them with you?"

"If you want," Mr. Benson assured me, "It's up to you."

I thanked him and left his office. All afternoon I thought about what he had said. I could suck his cock in private and be completely safe about it. Since Dave had orally raped me, I'd had been haunted with really strange thoughts. The rape was frightening, but I kept thinking about his cock in my mouth, especially when he came. It was really bad tasting, and swallowing left me with a bad aftertaste, but for some strange reason I was now thinking fondly of it – and wanting more. Maybe I should try blowing Mr. Benson.

I had a free period at 2pm and asked for a pass to see Mr. Benson. Students were not permitted in the hallways during class hours without a pass. Obtaining the pass, I went to Mr. Benson's office and found he didn't have a class then either.

He was surprised to see me, but was very friendly, as before. "I thought about what you said earlier," I began, "And would like to take you up on your offer."

"Okay, just to be sure," he responded, "You want to suck me?" I nodded. His office had no windows, so it was completely private. He closed the door and turned to me, unzipping and taking his cock out. It looked incredibly huge to me – I'd never seen an adult cock before.

"I'm new at this," I said, almost embarrassed, "Yesterday was my first time, and Dave did all the work."

Mr. Benson was very understanding and guided me through the entire blowjob, even warning me when he was about to cum. This time I welcomed the load, which tasted really strong, but this time I found that I liked the strange taste. He pulled out of my mouth and thanked me, assuring me that my secret was safe, and he would be glad to help me out any time I needed. I left and returned.

There was only an hour of school left, and I spent it replaying the blowjob in my mind. It was so different than Dave's oral rape – I wondered what it would be like to suck him under other circumstances.

I went to the football practice and both Dave and Chris greeted me. The entire team was practicing in their uniforms, which had tight-fitting pants that clearly revealed the outlines of their athletic cups. I knew it wasn't their cocks, but it sure looked masculine – I'd never noticed that before, but found myself admiring the bulge on all the athletes.

I thought about sucking Mr. Benson and wondering what it would be like to suck Dave in a friendlier manner. I was surprised to find that I actually began to look back on my oral rape with fondness! It was a violent act that Dave forced upon me, but oh so manly!

I was experiencing a lot of confusing feelings! Why on earth would I want to do anything like that again? But I did, and couldn't stop thinking about it. During a break in the practice Dave came over to talk with me.

"You're quite an athlete," I said, "Thanks for inviting me to watch."

"I'm glad you are enjoying it," Dave replied, "I can't make up for what I did to you yesterday – I only hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

"I think I can," I replied without even thinking about it, "But I'd like to try it again, but in a more friendly way." I realized that I'd just offered to blow him again – and I couldn't take it back!

"You really mean it?" he asked, filled with surprise. I nodded, and he said he would drive me home after the practice. As I watched the remainder of the practice couldn't stop thinking of Dave's cock, making my little boy cock stiff. I sat there fully erect, though it was so small nobody else could notice, but I sure did.

After the practice I waited for Dave outside the locker room and we went to his car. He assured me that this would be completely secret and made me swear I wouldn't tell anyone. I quickly agreed, having more to hide than Dave did.

He drove to a local park and we walked into the woods to an area surrounded my bushes and small scrub trees.

I was about to kneel as Dave unzipped, but then he made a special request, "Are you wearing panties today?" I nodded.

"Would you mind stripping down to your panties?" he asked, "That's so hot!"

I surveyed the surrounding area and decided that it was secure, so I undressed and hung my clothes on a tree branch.

Then I knelt and took Dave's cock into my mouth and began to suck. He was easier to suck than Mr. Benson, because he was smaller, though still much bigger than I was. This was so much better than yesterday! I fully enjoyed Dave's cock in my mouth and he was moaning as I did. "I'm gonna cum!" he said, "You want it?" I just grunted and continued sucking, and soon I tasted Dave’s hot seed. Strong, but now tasty – it was so much better in this nicer environment.

Dave finished and withdrew. He zipped up and then took my clothes from the tree branch and helped me get dressed. That completely surprised me – it was like he was being a gentleman for me. After I was dressed we walked back to his car. The entire time his attitude toward me was wonderfully friendly, not like the contempt he showed for me yesterday.

When we were in the car, just before he started the engine he turned to me and said, "That was really nice of you, and I want you to know how much I appreciate you. I was way out of line yesterday but now realize that you are someone to be valued, not picked on. I hope this is the beginning of a strong friendship."

"I liked it a lot more than yesterday," I said, "And I'd like to continue to suck you when you need it."

"That might be every day," he said.

"Okay by me!" I confirmed.

After that Dave was almost like a boyfriend to me. We weren't romantic or anything like that, but he often asked me to hang out with him. I wondered what his friends might think, but that never seemed to bother Dave. He also protected me. Whenever saw or heard anyone pick on me, he would take them aside convince them to leave me alone.

As I continued to blow Dave regularly, he began to ask if I dressed in more than panties, and I confessed to him that I did, and wished that I was a girl. He seemed really interested and asked if I could dress as a girl for him. I agreed and brought some girl clothes in a bag the next day. There was no football practice that day, so Dave took me to his house, where we had privacy, since his parents were still at work. He took me to his bedroom left me to change. I didn't do most makeup because I didn't have the needed skill, but I occasionally did lipstick. Once I was changed, I put on red lipsick and called out to Dave.

When he saw me he seemed to be awe-struck! He just stared at me and smiled. Then he embraced me and told me I was pretty. I never expected that sort of reaction, but I was even more surprised when he brought his lips to mine and kissed me, slipping his tongue into my mouth. It was my very first romantic kiss and it was incredible. It lasted for more than a minute and it was clear that we both enjoyed it!

I put my hand on his pants and rubbed his hard cock, and said, "I think you need some attention here!"

Dave unzipped and took his already-hard cock out as I dropped to my knees. I sucked Dave with more enthusiasm than ever – he was making me feel wonderful! Soon he came. As he pumped into my mouth he reached down and tilted my head up until we made eye contact. He was smiling at me and made me feel completely wanted and appreciated.

"Thank you Joey," he said, "I really like you as a girl – I wish you could always be a girl for me."

"I'd like that," I said, "and probably can most of the time."

"Do you have a girl name?" he asked.

"No, but you could give me one," I said.

"How about Janey?" Dave asked.

"I'm your Janey," I confirmed.

It was time for me to change back into my boy clothes. Afterward Dave drove me home. This was more amazing than I ever could have imagined!

From that point on I was Janey for Dave whenever I could be, and he was my secret boyfriend. He would sometimes take me on dates to a nearby town, so we wouldn't run into anyone we knew. I grew to really love sucking him, and gladly surrendered my virginity to him. If only I could be real girl then maybe he could marry me, but what we had was great.

I continued to blow Mr. Benson about once a week. Sometimes he would have me over to his house and occassionally he would have friends come over. I always wore my panties with Mr. Benson, but never dressed completely – that was reserved for my boyfriend David!

Special thanks to my online friend Michelle for providing the inspiration for this story.

  To be continued . . .

Feel free to contact me with your comments or requests.
    –Bill Beaumonte (oral_guy_2000@yahoo.com)