I 'm Jonas, and when I was fifteen I was desperate for a blowjob. I jacked-off to online porn every day, and my favorites were guys getting blowjobs. Sometimes they were being sucked by women and sometimes by men – and sometimes by crossdressers of transgenders. I really didn't care, but I wanted to be sucked off. Guy's who have been all tell me it's the absolutely best way to cum and I couldn't wait to see for myself.

I dated girls occasionally. I say occasionally because they are complicated and often very finicky – it's hard to figure them out and really difficult to get anywhere with them. Kissing was usually pretty easy, and it was often easy to feel their titties, but anything beyond that was tough. Once I got a girl to handle my cock, but she refused to suck me. I tried to get her to give me a handjob, but she was so awkward at it we both gave up.

If I ever was going to get a blowjob, I decided that it would have to be from a guy, but that wasn't so easy either. Pretty much all the guys I knew were either straight or pretending to be. Nobody was willing to be outwardly gay – kids can be really cruel when someone is different in any way and blending in was pretty important – especially at my age.

My strategy was simple – I'd ask various guys to blow me, assuring them that it was just between us. That was my honest intention – if I found someone to blow me, I would certainly keep it to myself – why ruin a good thing by telling others?

I heard that about 10% of the population was gay, so if I asked ten guys, one might be willing. Stanley was a really nerdy kid who seemed like he was gay, so he was the first I asked.

Stanley refused, but gave me some important insights. When he asked me why I was asking guys for blowjobs I explained that I thought I had a one in ten chance of success but being the math nerd that he was he explained that the numbers didn't work that way.

"The 10% probablility applies to each attempt," Stanley explained, "If you asked ten guys, you'd only have a 65% chance of success."

"Well that really sucks," I replied (no pun intended), "How many would I have to ask to find one who will?"

"Technically there is no number that guarantees success," he replied, but if you asked 27 guys you would have less than a 5% chance of being turned down every time."

"So asking 27 guys gives me a 95% chance of success?" I asked.

"Actually slightly better than that," Stanley confirmed.

"But 27 guys?!" I replied, "I don't think I even know that many guys well enough! What can I do to improve my chances?"

Stanely was a pretty smart guy, but I didn't expect him to have an answer, so I was surprised when he said, "You can increase your chance for suck-sess [emphasizing the suck part] if you agreed to return the favor."

I had no interest in sucking cock, but I realized that I could offer to return the favor and just not make good on it. Sure, that would be welching on a deal, but was no cocksucker!

I tried it with a number of guys but couldn't get any takers. Stanley asked how I was doing and I told him about the twelve guys I had asked – all rejections.

"Twelve guys should give you over a 60% suck-sess rate," he said, "Not outstanding, but better than nothing."

"That isn't getting me blown though," I said, "Any ideas?"

"Would you be willing to return the favor?" he asked.

"Sure," I said, knowing it was a lie.

"Well, I might be interested," Stanley replied – now I was getting somewhere. He seemed like a pretty good guy, and it would be a shame to double-cross him, but I really needed a blowjob.

"That would be great!" I quickly replied, "How soon could we do it?"

"You can come to my house after school," he said

"Great!" I said, "See you then."

All the rest of the day I thought about that blowjob I wanted so badly.

After school I arrived at Stanley's, ready to cum, so I was sorely disappointed to find that Stanley had second thoughts.

"Why are you backing out?" I demanded.

"I've just been thinking that since I've been helping you out that you should suck me first," he said. That caught me by surprise, and certainly didn't fit my intent.

"I'd rather go first," I insisted, but Stanley wasn't giving in.

"I just don't feel comfortable doing it that way," Stanley said, "I guess this isn't gonna work – sorry."

The blowjob I craved was slipping away – I began to feel desperate, and said, "How do I know you won't tell anyone?"

"Why would I do that?" he replied, "I have as much to hide as you."

He was right, and I could think of no argument that would change his mind. My cock was stiff and I really needed to cum. "Okay," I finally agreed, "But this is just between us – right?"

"Of course," he replied, and began to unzip. He took out a really impressive cock! I never expected a nerdy guy like Stanley to be so well-hung!

"I don't know exactly how to do this," I admitted.

"Neither do I," said Stanley, "Let's learn together – just give it a try."

I was on my knees and Stanley approached me, bringing his cock to my lips. In my aroused fog my lips parted and took him in. I remember thinking that his cock felt kind of nice in my mouth, and I instinctively moved my tongue around it. It only took a few minutes before he came in my mouth. The taste was surprisingly strong and very different than anyone else I'd ever experienced.

I swallowed, knowing I would expect Stanley to do the same. I stood up and unzipped, eager for my turn.

"I can't do this right now," Stanley said.

"You promised!" I insisted, feeling completely betrayed.

"I just can't do it now," he countered, "Things change just after I cum – I'll make it up to another time."

I zipped up and stormed out in anger. I was completely straight but just gave a blowjob – that just wasn't me – but it was. I was a confused mess!

I was serously pissed as I hurried home. I'd just given a nerd a blowjob and had nothing to show for it but a bad taste in my mouth. If he doesn't come through for me I'll have to come up with some way to take revenge.

Upon arriving home I immediately went to my room to jack-off. My cock was about to burst through my underwear, so I didn't even need to get online a view porn. I just took out my cock and began to stroke. To my surprise I just kept thinking of sucking Stanley. I tried to put it out of my mind, but you can't just NOT think of something – the very act of trying not to makes it even more vivid in your mind. I was surprised to find that thinking about it added to my arousal, which began to concern me, but soon I thought, "What the hell, it's just a private jack-off fantasy – who cares, as long as it works."

And it certainly did! I came more strongly than ever before, but then got hit with a horrible feeling a shame. I just came while thinking about cocksucking – that was definitely gay and I was definitely straight! I'm not homophobic, so I don't understand the shame part – it must have been some part of my subconscious, not approving of the blowjob I gave Stanley.

I had dinner and worked on my homework until bedtime. Then I jacked off once more, and again I found myself thinking about sucking. This time I didn't resist – at least not as much. I thought about the details of the blowjob, like how natural it felt to have a cock in my mouth. I think my mind was somehow rationalizing what I did, making it more acceptable. I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I jacked off in the shower, and once again thought about sucking. At school Stanley approached me timidly. "I'm really sorry I let you down yesterday," he began, "But I'll make it up to you after school."

"You better!" was all I had to say.

Throughout the day I looked forward Stanley sucking me off, but couldn't help wanting to suck him some more. I dismissed the idea as silly, determined to just collect on what he rightfully owes me.

When I arrived at Stanley's he let me in, and nervously said, "I know I have to suck you, but I'm not feeling very good about doing it."

Without thinking I said, "Would it help if I relaxed you by sucking you first?" What was I thinking? I clearly wasn't, but before I could take it back Stanley thanked me and unzipped.

As soon as I saw his cock I was on my knees. This was no rational act – it was prompted by a need deep within me that I just didn't understand. I had him in my mouth and once again marveled at how right it felt – maybe cocks and mouths were SUPPOSED to be together – at least Stanley and I seemed like we belonged together.

I began to fully realize that I wanted to suck cock and was grateful to Stanley for turning me on to it. When he came, I held his strong tasting seed in my mouth, savoring the taste and growing to love it. I swallowed and got up.

Then Stanley said, "I should have sucked you first, because now I just can't – maybe later."

I should have been upset, but for some strange reason I was okay with it – I really enjoyed blowing him and didn't mind if he didn't return the favor.

"It's okay," I said, "I understand – let's do this again tomorrow."

As I returned home, I realized that I'd offered to do the same thing tomorrow – not that Stanley should return the favor! As I thought about it, I knew that my desire to suck was greater than my need for relief, since I could easily do that myself – sucking always required a partner!

I jacked-off as soon as I got home, inspired my memories of sucking. Memories were far more arousing than fantasies, and each time I jacked-off I grew more comfortable being a cocksucker, and soon I felt no shame at all. That didn't mean I was ready to go public – cocksucking was my private secret, shared only by Stanley.

The next day I arrived at Stanley's and he said he was prepared to make good on his promise if I wanted. I was tempted, but wanted even more to suck him, so I told him that I'd rather suck him.

"I really love that, but it seems unfair to you, since I know you need to cum also," he said, "How about if you jack-off while you suck me?"

That sounded good to me, so I unzipped and took out my cock as I got to my knees. Stanley handed me a box of tissues to use when I came. I'd barely started to suck when I became completely hard, and knew I had to slow down or I'd cum to quickly. I paced myself but grew ever more aroused as I sucked. Finally, Stanley came, which sent me over the edge and I shot my load into a wad of tissues.

"That was incredible!" I said, and Stanley agreed.

That became my favorite way to cum, so it became our usual routine. The only change was one day Stanley gave me a shot glass to cum into instead of the tissues. "My mom was wondering about the wet tissues in the wastebasket," he said, "I had to tell her that I might be catching a cold and had to blow my nose a lot."

That was a good cover, but the real reason was he wanted my cum. After I left and Stanley recovered from his climax he sipped my cum. Later he confessed this to me and suggested that we 69. That seemed like a great idea, because I could still get the blowjob I always wanted while still sucking. Stanley led me to his bedroom where we undressed. I got on his bed and lay on my back while he climbed on top, facing downward, putting his cock in my mouth as he took mine into his.

It didn't take long before I came. I feared that I would lose my desire to suck but did not. I continued sucking and soon had a mouthful of my own. We both swallowed and disengaged. "That was great!" I said, and Stanley quickly agreed. This became our new after-school routine, although occasionally I would just blow Stanley – especially if we don't have the privacy to 69.

While my initial relationship with Stanley was purely sexual, it grew to a great friendship over the years. He was great at schoolwork and tutored me in a lot of subjects, greatly improving my grades. Thanks to cocksucking, I graduated from high school with a grade average that easily landed me in the college of my choice – now I just had to find new guys to suck – I wonder about the possibilities in fraternities.

  To be continued . . .

Feel free to contact me with your comments or requests.
    –Bill Beaumonte (oral_guy_2000@yahoo.com)