Date: Mon, 12 Jun 2000 01:08:45 -0600 From: Dewey Subject: For the Love of Pete 14 This story is a work of erotic fiction involving teenage boys partially based on real people and events. Names have been changed to protect the guilty as well as the innocent. All the usual rules apply. If you shouldn't be reading this now, then don't continue on. Copyright Notice - Copyright May 2000 by Dewey. This story is copyrighted by the author and the author retains all rights. For the Love of Pete Chapter Fourteen "Brian, we have to talk." Dad didn't have the usual "you've done something wrong" tone, sounding more like he had the night he told me he was going to a counselor. Shooing me into his bedroom, he shut the door behind us. He opened a shoebox he was carrying and removed an envelope from it. I sat in the old rocking chair that mom had gotten from my grandmother, and dad sat on the cedar chest at the foot of the bed. We both shifted and fidgeted as I waited for him to spill it. He played with the envelope for a few minutes, debating on whether to give it to me or not. Sighing, he handed over the envelope as he said, "Open it." "What is it?" "Open it and see." Examining the envelope, I noticed it was postmarked in Portland just a few days ago, was addressed to me, and was from some lawyer dude named Vanderkamp or something like that. The envelope had also been opened. Pulling out the paper and unfolding it, the subject of the letter leapt out at me: Hearing regarding custody of Peter Daniel Jameson. I stared at dad for a few seconds, and then read the body of the letter. "They want me to testify at a custody hearing next month." "Looks that way." "Why should I?" "You've been subpoenaed. You must go." "But I haven't even heard from him since he left." Again, dad shifted uncomfortably, and I could see a sheen of sweat on his face. Clearing his throat, he said, "That isn't exactly true." I was out of my seat like a shot, fury overtaking me. "What do you mean it isn't true!" "SIT DOWN! If you want to hear this you will be silent while I speak." Instantly, I was back in poker face mode, not showing him anything. For all the 'help' he claims to have gotten, nothing has changed. He still shuts me down. I put on an expressionless face and sat, looking at him impassively. "The reason you haven't heard from him is because we, upon advice from our counselor, have been keeping you out of contact with him." My eyes narrowed. They had betrayed me again. It took every ounce of willpower I possessed to stop myself from launching and trying to kill him. "We weren't sure if or when he would ever come back. Rather than let you hope for something we thought was never going to occur, we helped you believe he wasn't coming back, and that he had forgotten about you." I couldn't believe that they hadn't learned anything from what happened before. All this time I thought they were doing better, but they made me believe that Pete had moved on in his life. I had almost given up on him. Now my world was upside down again. "Here are the letters he has written, some as recent as last month. He tried to call too, but we told him you either weren't here or weren't available." He handed me the shoebox. I opened it quickly and saw it was full of letters, 30 at least. "Now that you know what we did and why, neither I nor your mother want to hear any more about this." With that, he stood, opened the door, and ushered me out. The door closed behind me. Clearly the matter was closed for him, but it certainly wasn't closed for me. I went to my room, the one place I could usually relax and be calm, but tonight it wasn't working. Instead I began to pace my room, turning circles in my frustration. I was beyond angry, beyond furious. I was so enraged I was seeing red. How could they do that to me? After all this time, after all the progress we had made. They still chose to keep me from Pete. Shouldn't have trusted them. I shoulda learned the first time around. I was a gullible, trusting fool. Still spinning in circles, my fury reached a boiling point. I let out a bellow of rage, screaming at the top of my lungs. Surprisingly, dad didn't come out of his room and yell at me like he normally would. As I picked up the box, I grabbed my coat and raced out to the garage. Rummaging in the work bench, I found what I was looking for: a flashlight. With that in hand, I opened the back door and tore out straight toward the fort. Crossing the street without looking, a car slammed on it's brakes, skidding to a halt. It wouldn't have hit me anyway. Then I saw mom behind the wheel. She climbed out of the car screaming at me to stop. I was so pissed, I ran on by and kept going. She honked the horn to get my attention, but I ignored her. It took me no time to cross the distance from the house to the fort using a direct path. When I got there I breathed a sigh of relief. I hadn't been here in over a year, but the place hadn't overgrown itself in my absence. Settling in, I opened the box and examined it's contents. I counted thirty-seven letters, some, thick some thin. The first was dated about a week after he left, and the last about two weeks ago. I picked up the first letter, but I couldn't open it. Instead all I could do was stare at the envelope, and hate. A hatred so strong and so complete that I couldn't comprehend it's depth. That man and women didn't really care about me. They just took the path that was easiest for them, and blamed it on their "counselor" when their choice backfired. They didn't even have the guts to take responsibility. I swore to myself that I'd never get close to them or trust them again. I couldn't leave them, legally, but I sure as hell didn't have to love them. I tried to open the letter again, but my hands started trembling. As I took the letter out of the envelope, the shaking became so bad that I had to put the paper on the ground to be able to read it. I recognized his handwriting immediately. Dear Brian, I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you. You were right. I couldn't believe she would do this to us. I miss you so much. I hope you are OK. I saw you fall down in the driveway. We are staying at my grandparents' place for now, at least until mom can find us an apartment. Gram and Gramp are nice people. They have a farm... I skimmed the rest of the letter down to the last paragraph. Brian, I know things don't look good right now, but we will find a way to be together. It may take us a while, but we will. I'm not giving up, and I hope you aren't either. I love you, Brian. I will always love you. Keep me in your heart, as I keep you in mine. Don't forget me. We'll be together soon. Love Forever, Pete Sitting back, I examined myself for a reaction of some sort. The only thing I felt was shame. I had tried to keep him in my heart, but it grew more and more difficult as each day passed with no word from him. There came a point where I actually hated Pete for leaving, even though he had nothing to do with it. Folding up the letter proved to be as difficult as opening it had been. My hands were still shaking like a leaf in a windstorm. I opened the next letter and read it, and the next, and the next, soaking them up, reliving Pete's life through his words. I smiled when he told of the good times he had had with that kid named Ray, and I cried when he told me about the beatings he had gotten from his mom and that bastard Carl. I felt like I knew the Pattersons, and wondered idly if they would take me in, too. He wished me Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Pete signed off the same way in all his letters beginning with the third one. It didn't seem like much, but to me, it told me that he had kept me in his heart. It was a simple sentence. "People say distance doesn't matter if we love with our heart, but I can't tell, because you have stolen my heart from me. Love forever, Pete". Everything he wrote was just right, but doubts still lingered Worry was playing in the back of my mind as he wrote about the crush Ray had on him, and the way Jared was playing him really pissed me off. He said everything was cool, but how did I really know? Has he been faithful to me? I snorted. There wasn't anything to be faithful to or for. I had no hold on him. As I read more and more, my heartache grew until I couldn't stand it any more. Tears fell and fell until I thought they would run out. My throat was raw from wailing to the sky. I struggled to regain control of myself. I couldn't let anyone see me like this. I was too old to cry like this. Sniffing, I rubbed the tears out of my eyes the best I could, trying to stop them from flowing. Then I read the last two letters. They really threw me for a loop. His grandparents dying and him suing Brenda for termination of parental rights because of the abuse. I wasn't sure what to think, but my heart went out to him. He didn't tell me many details about either the case or the events that lead up to his grandparents demise. I'm sure he didn't like to talk about it. I wish I could have gone on that trip to Crater Lake with him. It sounded so cool to have a dad that would play around with you like a kid. My dad wouldn't be caught dead playing like a kid. Again, my thoughts turned bitter. Where was I going to go? I could probably go over to Chris's place, but I hadn't slept there for almost two and a half months. I didn't have a lot of choices, though. The shaking had subsided as I stopped crying, so I had no problem putting the last of the letters back in their envelopes and packing them into the shoebox. Making my way out of the fort, I started back toward Chris's place. I hadn't gotten more than ten steps away when a voice startled me from behind. I jumped and spun to face the owner. "Hello, Brian. Are you feeling okay?" Danny stood there in his uniform, leaning against a tree, arms and legs crossed. He wore a compassionate expression. "What the hell are you doing here! You are just as guilty as they are, so get the fuck away from me. Leave me alone!" Once again the rage overtook me. I wanted nothing to do with them. "I just found out, Brian. They just told me on the phone. It seemed logical that this was where you would come, and hearing you made it easy to track you down." I started to back away, but kept a wary eye on him as I did. "Come on, Brian. I'll get you cleaned up, then we'll figure out what to do. "NO! How can I trust you now! You've already betrayed me once! How do I know you won't betray me again, huh?" "I told you that if I could change what I did back then, I would. I value you too much not to be on the level with you. And I promise to you now that I won't hide anything from you if it concerns Pete. I mean that." "Why are you out here then? To make sure I don't kill myself? To spy on me? To tell my parent's that I'm weak and cry like a baby? Well, I've had it with them. They can all go to hell for all I care! They can shove it..." "I get the idea, and I even share your sentiment. It's pretty obvious that you won't be going home tonight. Where do you plan on going? Chris's place?" I just looked at him, still too irritated to reply. "Fine. Just so you know, my place is still available to you if you feel the need. Give me a call and I'll pick you up, if you can't get there on your own. Call me any time, day or night. Okay?" Still I just stared at him, emotions warring in my head. I wanted to trust him again, but could I open myself up to give him the chance? He turned, walking away. Did I trust him? I made a snap decision. "I don't have any clothes." He stopped and turned to face me. "Huh?" "I don't have any clothes. Or my books for school. I don't have anything." Tears threatened again, but I willed them back. He took a step toward me. "Are you okay, Brian?" His concern was evident on his face, and his manner spoke of someone approaching a skittish animal, trying not to spook them. My head was still awash with anger, but I found I couldn't release it at Danny. As the anger faded, or was suppressed, a new feeling took its place. Pain, fear, helplessness, hopelessness, all of these took up residence in my thoughts, pushing me to the breaking point. Tears began to flow again as I mouthed words silently, unable to put my voice into them. As Danny continued to approach, he opened his arms to me, with sadness and guilt on his face, and said, "Oh, Brian, I'm so sorry." Those words pushed me over the edge. I ran into him, threw my arms around him, and he did the same to me. The floodgates opened once more as the spasms overtook me, shaking me hard with each sob. It was all I could do to hold on to him. If he hadn't been holding me, I would have collapsed. Danny stood there like a rock, murmuring into my ear that everything was going to be fine, and that I should let it all out. He also said Pete and I would be okay and we'd be together soon. I lost track of time as I was crying, and was startled to find it was getting dark when the waterworks dried up. I hate crying. Danny guided me to his patrol car which was parked on a street that was much closer to the fort than I remembered. I climbed in to the passenger seat and buckled in as Danny started the car. He drove us around the neighborhood back toward home. "You never did say what you're going to do tonight." "I don't know what TO do. I can't live at Chris's for the next three years, but I'm not sure that I can live at home, either. I can't ask you to put me up, so it looks like I have to go back home and stick it out. I'll find some way to get by. I always do." "Brian, come stay with me for a week or two. Let the situation settle for a bit, then we'll see where everyone is at. By then you could go home and maybe forgive your..." "Never! They blew it with this one. I'll NEVER trust them again!" "...parents. They only did what they thought best for you." "But they didn't ask ME! No one ever does! They treat me like I'm a five year old, instead of being 15. I am old enough to make those kind of decisions that affect how I am going to lead my life. MY life, not THEIRS!" "I understand what you are saying, but you have to look at it from their perspective, too. They love you," I snorted, "and they want to protect you because you are their child. They have a son who 'thinks'," he said sarcastically, "he is in love with another boy, and 'thinks' he is gay. All of that comes to light in four days. Then the boy their son 'loves' is taken away, and it devastates him. After he gets out of the hospital, he is mad at the world, doesn't communicate, isolates himself from everything and everybody, and then begins a campaign of self destruction." "I did not!" Ignoring my interruption, he continued. "He spends little or no time at home, dedicates his life to working out excessively, plays a sport which he has never shown interest in before solely because it is dangerous and strains his body. He begins to work out seven days a week, worrying everyone around him that he is overdoing it. When wrestling comes around he goes out for it, even though he has no idea what the sport is about. He loses so much weight that he almost has to go to the doctor. He starves himself to help make weight, and STILL works out seven days a week on top of everything else." "I don't do that anymore. I only work out five days a week now." "He also throws himself at his schoolwork for the first time in his life, proving that he can achieve a 4.0 if he only applies himself, but with everything else he does, he is so overloaded that he doesn't give himself time to recover. He drives himself into the ground." "I'm doing fine!" Again he ignored me. "Why does he do this? Because he is afraid to face up to the pain and loss he has experienced. He uses all the activity to run away from it. He can't go to his parents or other friends because he thinks he can handle it himself. Instead of handling it, he suppresses all of the emotions from that painful separation, and then suppresses everything else because he is afraid that if anything slipped through, it would destroy him." I shuddered as the truth hit home, and the shaking resumed. He was right about me, right down to my core, and I knew it. I was an open book to him. "What he has to realize is that all this pain and hate that he is bottling up inside will eat him up. It will ruin his life. All he has to do is talk about it, uncover it and let it out. He doesn't feel like it's safe to do that, though. And maybe it's not. He may not have anyone he trusts that much." "So how does 'he' find someone to talk to , someone he trusts? Everyone he knows has betrayed him, and the people that haven't can't help him?" Danny was silent for a moment. "The only way I can see that could happen is for him to take a chance and trust." I growled deep in my throat. "Maybe not his parents "Maybe not me, cause I betrayed him too. We'll figure it out. Lets go get you some clothes, okay?" He took a right turn, nearing my house. "I'm not going in there if I have to see them. I don't care if I ever see them again." Rage once more began to rear it's head. "Well then," he said lightly, "I'll go in and see if the coast is clear." "I'm not joking about this. I've had it with them. They've broken my trust one too many times." "Okay. Sorry. I'll try to remember that. You try to remember what I said earlier about what it was like for them when you were trying to cope." We pulled into the driveway. Danny got out and intercepted my mom before she could get to the car. I don't know what happened between them because I turned my head so I didn't have to look at her. When I looked again, they were walking into the house. Danny didn't reemerge for quite some time, about an hour as near as I could tell. He had in his hands one of our large suitcases that could hold the entire contents of all of my clothing piles, clean, worn but clean enough, and dirty. As he opened one of the rear doors and tossed it in, he said, "The coast it clear now, go in and get what you need out of your room for tonight. I have some of your clothes, so don't worry about that. We'll come back tomorrow after school and get the rest of it." I hesitated but Danny persisted. "Go on, Brian. They're in their bedroom and won't bother you." "Sure they won't." I obviously wasn't convinced, but I climbed out anyway and made my way to the front door, pausing before it. Some sense of fear and trepidation came over me. I hated that I felt that at my own front door. Without thinking any more about it, I quickly ran through the house to my room, shutting the door behind me. Quickly gathering what I needed for the next day, I put it all in my backpack and opened the door, only to face my mom. "Brian, why are you going?" I spluttered, "Are you serious? You actually have to ask?" Roughly, I barged my way past her and to the front door. "Get back here! I'm not done talking to you! Come here this instant!" Not listening to her, I ran out the front door, slamming it behind me. I couldn't get to Danny's car fast enough. The encounter with my mom really screwed with my head. I was breathing fast, and starting to sweat. Opening the door, I sat hard in the seat. Danny knew what had happened the moment I shut the door. Swearing under his breath, he started the car. As we backed out of the driveway, I started to feel dizzy. I couldn't catch my breath. I was sure I was hyperventilating, but I couldn't say anything. Reaching over, I grabbed Danny's arm, motioning I couldn't breathe. He slammed on the breaks, turned off the car, and jumped out. He was heading back to the trunk, but I couldn't tell what he was doing. My vision was getting narrow and I felt even more dizzy. Danny opened my door and handed me a paper bag. I nodded and put it over my nose and mouth, still breathing quickly. Gradually my breathing slowed. I could see Danny walking quickly toward the front door, intercepting my mom as she tried to get to the car. I watched him block her path, no matter which way she tried to get around him. Their voices carried back to me, but they were too low for me to make out what they were saying. Both of them were angry. Danny stood more erect than normal, fists clenched, and my mother was waving her hands all around trying somehow to make her point. Danny's raised voice caught my attention. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?" He was pissed off now. I wondered what mom had said to him. "It has everything to do with it!" Mom raised her voice too, but they both quieted back down. A few more things were said, and Danny turned back to the car. He stopped in front of the open door, and leaned in to talk to me. "Brian, she doesn't believe you want to go with me. You are going to have to tell her yourself. Your breathing better?" I nodded. "Good. I'm gonna have her come to you. Try to keep it calm, okay?" "I'll try, but I really don't want to talk to her." Nodding, he walked back to my mom, said a few things, and led her back to the car. Mom approached slowly, her face inscrutable. Stopping in front of the door, she stood there just looking at me. I stared back, fury evident on my face. "I don't understand, Brian. You must see that we did only what we thought best for you. Even our psychologist agreed. We only want to protect you." "Like you did when you didn't tell me he was leaving? You remember, that time I went to the hospital?" I spoke in a carefully controlled manner, keeping my anger in check as best I could. "That was a mistake, but this is different." My voice cracked as I asked, "How do you figure?" My voice hadn't cracked for over a year. "Then, we should have let you say good bye, let you have the time with him. But this time, we were protecting you from what is happening now. All the pain and anger. If he hadn't went into court and summoned you, you wouldn't be going through this." I glared hate at her. I couldn't believe she could be that dense. They knew how I felt after the first time. To do this now was... I don't know. All I know is that I wasn't going to give them another chance. "Now you are trying to blame HIM? This is your fault! YOU made the choice!" "Brian, honey, you can't want to do this." "You better believe I do. You betrayed me. For the second time!" So much for control. "I won't give you the opportunity to betray me again." "If you leave, where will you go?" "My problem, not yours. Why pretend you care for me now?" "I'm your mother, Brian. Of course I care. We're your family..." "Not any more you're not! I've had it with you. Family doesn't do what you did to me! Mothers don't do this to their sons! Go away. I don't want to talk to you! I don't know if I ever will again. Just leave me alone. We're through." I shut the car door and turned my head away from her. She started arguing with Danny again, but I tuned them out. She had nothing to say that I wanted to hear. Danny got in the car less than a minute later, started the engine once more, and backed us out the rest of the way. We were both quiet as he drove us to his place. He was muttering, I was lost in thought. No matter how I tried looking at things from my parents point of view, I couldn't understand how they could forget so quickly what I felt for Pete. They completely ignored the fact that I didn't talk to them, that I didn't want to be around them. Instead, they kept his letters from me, making me think he had died or something. And now, two years later, after I had more or less accepted the fact that Pete had gone on with his life, they spring this on me. Two years is a long time. Did I still feel the way I did back then? I really didn't know. He was out of my world now, and I would have to try to let him back in. I hoped I could. "We're here, Brian." I blinked a couple of times. "Oh, okay." "You alright? It looked like I'd lost you for a while." I laughed without mirth. "You did. I was thinking about how to deal with all of this." "Well, let's get inside and we'll get some dinner. Then we'll get you settled in, and I'll give you the grand tour." His house was a traditional ranch house, one level with four bedrooms. I couldn't really figure out why he needed all the room, but I guess it wasn't any of my business. Once inside, Danny went straight to the kitchen and put water on to boil. "Spaghetti okay with you?" "Sure. I love pasta." "I have yet to meet a boy that doesn't. Come on, I'll show you to your room while we're waiting for the water to boil." He led me through the dining room and down the hall to the second door on the right. It was a small bedroom, mostly bare, but it still had a lived in feel. A double bed took up the center of the room, with a dresser along one wall and a closet right next to it. "This gonna be okay for you?" "Yeah. I think so." I took the suitcase that Danny had brought in with him and unpacked it into the dresser as he watched. Him watching made me a little nervous, but I didn't say anything. "Okay, let me give you the tour. The bathroom is directly across the hall from your room. I don't use it except when I'm around the house on a day off, so feel free to leave your things in the shower. Do you need soap or shampoo?" I nodded. "Did you remember your toothbrush?" I shook my head, causing him to chuckle. "Trust a kid to forget the important things. I'll get them for you tomorrow. I'm not working for the next four days, so I'll be around this weekend. If you want to do something, let me know." Again, I nodded. Danny looked at me oddly, his eyes delving into mine. "Brian, we need to get one thing straight right now. You aren't a guest here. This is your home for the time being, so you tell me what you want or need. I'm not going to bite you. Use your voice. It's okay to talk." He put his hand on my shoulder. "I know you are hurting and angry right now, so if you need space, I'll give it to you. But you have to tell me that is what you want. I can't read your mind. Okay?" "I'll try. It's just... I..." I dropped my gaze. "Too much has happened. I have to take it all in." "No problem. What can I do to help? Leave you alone? Spend some time watching TV with you?" I shrugged. "When you figure out what you want, please talk to me and let me know, okay? I don't want you to turn into an albino because you're spending all your time in your room." He softened that with a smile, and I sheepishly grinned back. The water on the stove was boiling. Danny measured out two servings of spaghetti noodles and dumped them into the pot. He grabbed a jar of sauce out of the pantry, emptied it into a saucepan, and rummaged around the cupboard for some herbs to add. I watched him work, trying to figure out what Danny's motivation was. One possibility is he just wanted to help me. Because I was a friend? Because I may be gay? Out of some sense of guilt? Was I now the son he never had? I had now way of knowing, yet. Another possibility I had to consider was that he might be looking for something more from me. I didn't think he would do anything like that, but I wasn't totally sure. Danny had added some of the herbs he had pulled out of the cupboard, then stirred the sauce and covered it with a lid. "Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes." Again he gave me that odd look, his eyes trying to penetrate into my mind. "Are you sure you are all right?" I nodded, and then remembered what he said about talking. Though I didn't feel like it, I answered, "I'm fine. Just thinking." "About what?" "About this whole fucking mess I'm in. No home, no family, no money, nowhere to go." "Well, until something else comes up, you'll live here." "Why?" "Pardon me?" "I asked, 'why'." "Why you will live here? Because you were right. Where else would you go? And as good a woman as Chris's mom is, she can't afford to have another teen under her roof. You guys cost a lot to keep, ya know?" "My parents must be thrilled with how much money they'll save." 'That's not what I meant and you know it. And I do know for a fact that you're parents aren't at all happy this turned out the way it did." "Yeah. All they wanted was for me to forget all about Pete and go straight!" "They love you, regardless of what you think right now. They made another big mistake, and they are sorry they made it. They're only human." "So what do you want me to do, huh? Kiss and make up? Pretend that nothing ever happened? How many times do I have to get shit on before I can say 'enough'? They made a mistake all right. The same mistake they made two years ago. It was wrong then, and it's still wrong now. You even admitted you felt the same way!" "I do feel it was the wrong decision on their part. I'm not so sure that it's the right decision to leave your mom and dad. I am fairly certain that no court would emancipate you for just those two instances. Plus you'd have to get a lawyer, and I can't afford it, even if I did think it was the right way to go." "There is no way I will go back home. I can't trust them. I was stupid to try in the first place. I'm not even sure I can trust you." Danny was quiet for a moment, trying to phrase his response. I beat him to the punch. "Look. I really appreciate what you are doing for me. Really I do. But I... " "You don't trust me. It's one of the things that I wish was different. I can't change the past, and I can't change what your parents did. But if you ever really listen to me, listen now. I know what you're going through. I have been there. "When I was around 12, I finally put it together that I was gay. Back then you didn't talk about it, you didn't display it. You were treated as a pariah if you were found out. I had this real good friend. Tommy and I were as close as you can be and not be twins. All of our interests were the same, we played the same sports, read the same books, we did everything together. When we were thirteen, we started to have sex, and eventually we fell in love. The morning of my fifteenth birthday, my father found us together in my bed, naked, holding each other. "He went psycho on us. I won't tell you the details. Anyway, my father forbade us to see each other. He told Tommy's parents what had happened, and transferred me to another school. My free time, if you can call it that, was spent in or around the house. Dad watched me like a hawk, making sure I wasn't turning into a queer. He searched my room and closet on an almost daily basis. I didn't have anything to hide, except a Playboy or two, and he did find them, and punished me for them. "The worst part of it is I never saw Tommy again. His parents moved shortly after they found out about us, and I have no idea where he is now. I'm afraid to track him down. But I never stopped loving him. I still do. "Remember that this was quite a few years ago. We didn't have all of these expert warning us about hitting your kids. My dad used his belt on me. He whipped me for the smallest thing. He had to 'toughen me up' so I could be a man. He liked beating me, I think. And it continued. "About the time I turned 18, my father decided I'd done something wrong. He pulled off his belt and told me to bend over. I simply said, 'No.' The next day, I was kicked out of the house with a suitcase and the clothes I was wearing. At the time, I didn't know what else to do, and I didn't have any relatives or friends who would or could take me in. I didn't have to worry about it, though. I was drafted about a week later." "Losing my parents like that was one of the worst things I ever had to go through. I want to spare you that experience. Think about it." As I listened to his story, I could see where Danny and I had the same, or similar, problems. He was rejected by his parents, I had rejected mine. He lost his love, someone he had slept with. I hadn't slept with Pete, and we weren't together for very long, only four days. Tommy and Danny had been together for over a year. I wasn't sure his story had made me feel better, except that I knew he might be able to understand. We ate dinner, making small talk as we did. The meal was filling. Danny had made huge salads as a side, and he put everything he had in them. Some of the stuff I didn't even recognize, but it was good. Shortly after we had finished eating, I went to bed. I'd had a long day. The next three weeks flew by. Danny and I settled in together, working out what I was expected to do around the house to earn my keep. Overall, he was more than fair. I didn't see my parents once during that time. About a week after I moved in with Danny, the subpoena was served. I would be going to Portland just a few weeks later. I told Chris what had happened the first time I saw him. He was angry also, but not nearly as angry as I had been. I spent a weekend at his house, and told Kathlene the latest. She took the news in stride, making no comments other than a sigh. Chris and I were still working out. After school I would go to Chris's and lift or run, and Danny would pick me up afterward. It was a good arrangement because Danny didn't have to leave his beat to pick me up. Before I knew it, it was time to go to Portland to testify. Danny had made arrangements to escort me as my guardian, and bought the tickets. I had read and reread Pete's letters to me many times over, memorizing them. We left on a Saturday morning. The flight was awesome. It was the first time I'd been on a jet. The takeoff was unreal, with the thrust pushing me into my seat, and the noise making my ears ring. I kept my nose glued to the window. The view was amazing. I could see mountains and farms, trucks on the freeway, more than I can remember. And the really cool thing was the turbulence we hit as we crossed into Oregon. The pilot told the attendants to take a seat, so I guess it was pretty bad. I enjoyed it. It felt like a roller coaster. One time the plane dropped for, like, a full second. I love the feeling of my stomach dropping out. It was great. Other passengers didn't think so, though. We arrived in Portland and were met at the gate by an older man in a suit. He was holding a sign with my name on it. "I'm Brian Kellam." He looked me up and down, appraising me. I felt like a horse at auction. He then offered me his hand and smiled. "I can see that young Peter has excellent taste in his friends." What did he mean by that? "I am Mr. Vanderkamp, Pete's head counsel. Please call me Van. I don't stand on formality." He offered his hand to Danny, who took it. "I've heard of you, Van. I'm a cop. I've seen your name on a lot of law." "Ah, the trials of celebrity," he said with a smile. "Let's get your bags, shall we?" It was a long way to the baggage claim. I thought we would never get there. As we walked, I asked Van some questions. "How is Pete?" "He is doing well, but the last year or so has been rough for him. You read the letters he wrote to you?" I nodded. "Then you know most of the story. He just got back from vacation not too long ago. This is still a big strain on him. It's not going to be easy for you either, I'm afraid. Once we get you to the Residence, we'll let you get settled, then we have some questions we'd like to ask you. Tomorrow, we are going to do a little bit of acting. I'm going to pretend I am the opposing lawyer, ask you questions they might ask, and see how you react." "When can I see him?" "Not until after you testify. We have to prepare him as much as we have to prepare you, and more so. We want to keep him focused, and frankly, if you were there, he wouldn't be able to concentrate. We haven't even told him you will be here." That comment left me feeling more than a little uneasy. "I will get to see him, right?" He looked over to me and grinned. "Of course you will. You'll have plenty of time to get reacquainted. But for now, I must ask you to wait." "As long as I get to spend some time with him." We finally made it to the baggage claim. Our luggage wasn't on the conveyer yet. Van and Danny talked about how long I would be able to stay and other arrangements that I had no interest in. I stood there as they spoke, lost in my thoughts. I was really worried about meeting Pete. What if things had changed? What if he didn't love me? What if I found I didn't love him? Two years is a very long time when you are only 15. I knew I loved him back then, and I still loved him, but as he was at 13. I didn't know if I would still love him at 16. I wasn't even really sure I was gay. Maybe it had been a mistake. It was only four days. I wasn't really attracted to boys anymore, or girls for that matter. So what was I? Our bags came out first. I had to shove my way through three rows of people and those stupid cart to get our bags. Danny took his from me, and we followed Van down the escalator, through a tunnel underneath the roadway in front of the airport, and took an elevator up to the fourth level. Van led us to a limousine and ushered us inside as the driver placed our bags in the trunk. A limo. This trip was full of firsts for me. We drove for about forty-five minutes through downtown and over a river. Portland looked to be a pretty city. We took the Highway 26 exit, passing through a tunnel and up a hill toward the zoo, according to the signs. Another 10 miles or so brought us to the 185th street exit. We turned left and I saw the Residence Inn just across the highway. Van went into the lobby with us and checked us in, making sure we had a two bedroom suite. The room was nice. We had a full kitchen and separate bathrooms as well. The furniture was new looking, but reminded me of an airport. "You two get settled in. Here are my numbers, and there is a car in the parking lot across the lobby for you. Ask the desk for the keys. Is there anything else you need?" Danny said, "I don't think so. Thank you for your hospitality. I certainly didn't expect this kind of treatment." He offered his hand and the men shook. "Only the best for Pete's good friend. He has told us a lot about you. He cares for you a great deal, you know." Was there a hint of something in his words? "I figured that out from the letters." I smiled, but I still had my doubts. Two whole years, and then some... "I'll be back around four so I can complete the interview. Dinner is on me tonight. Until then," he and I shook hands, "I bid you good day. It's so good to finally meet you Brian. I hope we get to know each other better. Danny, a pleasure." He walked out of the door, closing it behind him, leaving me staring at him in confusion. Van must be really close to Pete. The words he used: "Young Pete's excellent taste in friends", "Pete's good friend", and that emphasis on Pete caring for me. And he wanted to get to know me better. This was weird. "What do you make of him, Danny?" "He is a very successful lawyer, and by all accounts, a good man. If he likes you, that's a good thing. If not, pray you don't go to court against him." "That's not what I mean. I got the impression that he knew Pete on a personal level, not just professional. And was he hinting at something between Pete and I?" "I think he does know him personally. And I don't see how that could be bad. He may have been hinting." He shrugged. "He's not what I expected." "Me either. We have about three hours until he comes back. What do you want to do?" "Take a nap. I don't think this is going to be an easy night." "You'll do fine. Go ahead and nap. I'll wake you about 3:30." "Thanks. And thanks for coming with me." "Wouldn't miss it, kiddo." Shutting the door behind me, I stripped and climbed into the king size bed. Sleep was a bit elusive, but it finally took me about a half hour later. A light knock at my door woke me. "Brian, time to get up, kid. Take a shower really quick. You'll feel better." Danny had opened the door enough that he could be heard, but he hadn't looked in, respecting my privacy as always. "I'm awake." He chuckled, "I know you are awake, but you need to get up!" I grinned at his rejoinder. "Okay, okay, I'm up. I'll be out in about 15." Still chuckling, he closed the door. I showered quickly, dried quickly, and dressed myself. I wore the usual jeans and T-shirt ensemble. Van showed up at four on the nose, and we got right down to business. After setting up a tape recorder, he asked my history, what I remember about Pete before everything happened, and the events that lead to him being taken away. Van was very thorough, evoking memories left and right. Dinner was delivered to the room. I think we had Italian, but I can't remember for sure. I was too wrapped up in telling Van my story. Danny added what little bit he knew, too. The meeting drug on and on, lasting well into Sunday morning. It must have been nine or ten tapes we went through. At last he said, "Let's call it a night. You guys look beat. I am too. Mind if I leave my papers and things here?" "No problem. I doubt it'll get in the way." Danny stood and stretched. Van did likewise. "Alright then gents. I'm off. Brian, I want you to get a lot of sleep tonight. Tomorrow and Monday are going to be very difficult days for you. You'll need as much rest as you can get." "I'll try. It's gonna be hard. I'm all jazzed up." He smiled at me and ruffled my hair. "I can see it in your eyes. I'll see you tomorrow." "Let me walk you out, Van." Danny followed him to the door and outside. I went to bed, and slept well. The next day was one of the hardest in my life. Nothing had prepared me for what happened. Van showed up about noon with another man he introduced as Kevin. I didn't ask if this was the guy Pete was staying with; I would find out soon enough. They set me in a chair in the center of the room, gave me a glass of water and a small table to set it on. Then the questions started. At first it was easy, simple seeming questions, about my family and school and stuff. I answered truthfully, as they asked me to. Then they asked me when I realized I was gay, right out of the blue. It caught me by surprise. I answered by saying I wasn't sure I was gay. They really laid into me then with what I had told Pete on that first day, my actions, whatever they could to try and upset me, and they did piss me off, but I just thought of them as my dad, put on my poker face, and just answered the questions. This went on until three or so, then Van called a halt to it. Kevin and Van both wore broad grins. "We're done. You did great, Brian. We didn't even phase you. I don't know what you do to maintain your cool, but it's a great trait for work in the courtroom." I smiled a cold smile back. I was still in defensive mode. I couldn't switch that fast. Danny recognized the signs of my stress, patted me on the back, and pushed me off toward my room. "Go wash your face and hands. It'll make you feel better." Glad for the escape, I walked to my room and closed the door. Once inside, I could relax a bit, and let some of the stress go. I know the two lawyers were on my side, but they really poured it on. And this wasn't even court. I followed Danny's directions and washed my face with cold water. I did feel better afterwards. I took my time before returning to the main room. When I did, Van and Kevin were gone. "You doing okay?" "Yeah. I didn't expect any of that. They told me they were going to ask painful questions, but grilling me like they did... the only way I could keep it together was to picture them as dad." "All you have to do is get through tomorrow." I sighed. "I know. I hope that doesn't happen tomorrow." "Before they left, Van said that what you just went through is usually far worse than what you get on the stand. They do it purposely so they can be sure you will hold up in court." "Still doesn't make it any easier." "I know. You want to go see a movie?" Danny wanted to escape the room as much as I did. "Yeah. Let's get out of here for a while. It seems tight in here all of the sudden." We walked to the movie theater that was just across the street from the hotel. There were some people there, but it wasn't packed by any means. I don't remember what movie we saw. Something with Matt Damon, I think. We had more fun getting into a popcorn fight than we did watching the movie. The manager threatened to kick us out, so we behaved for the remainder of the show. After the movie, we went back to the room, ordered pizza and watched another movie on TV. I started yawning about half way through, and went to bed. I did not sleep well. ----------------------- Constructive criticism and comments gladly accepted. Please e-mail me at dewey2k@yahoo.com. Flames will be deleted. ----------------------- As always, I post all my new chapters to Authors Without Websites first, and later post them at other sites. AWW is an awesome site that has several authors contributing to it. The stories found there are love stories, not sex stories (although some of that does slip in). I recommend you check it out. The address is: http://www.teenboyauthors.org/aww/ ---------------------- I'd like to invite you to join a list that will notify you of new chapters being released for "Pete". 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