Date: Thu, 10 Aug 2000 23:09:37 -0400 From: dewey2k Subject: For the Love of Pete Chapter 18 This story is a work of erotic fiction involving teenage boys partially based on real people and events. Names have been changed to protect the guilty as well as the innocent. All the usual rules apply. If you shouldn't be reading this now, then don't continue on. Copyright Notice - Copyright August 2000 by Dewey. This story is copyrighted by the author and the author retains all rights. For the Love of Pete Chapter Eighteen While I took my shower, I had time to reflect on the last couple of days. Being with Pete again still had a dream-like quality, but there was also a very real aspect that had been driven home as we lay there in bed together after I woke about five o'clock. His head lay on my shoulder, his arm across my chest, and his leg over mine. I could feel him breathing against me, deep even breaths, a rhythm that set the pace of my reality. He stirred under my hand as I stroked his hair and his back, slightly repositioning himself against me. Then I noticed something hard pressing against my thigh. I quickly realized what it was, and my body responded immediately. I lay there quietly, as still as I could be, torn between desire and fear. Fear won out. The next half-hour felt like an eternity with him sleeping peacefully, his body molded to mine. My mind was running on overdrive, playing the possibilities through. We both wanted to wait, but I wasn't sure it would be possible if this was what I was to wake up to every morning. Pete stirred again, but this time, he kept moving, slowly. I could tell he was still asleep, probably dreaming. His motion began to speed up, grinding himself into me. His breathing became quick and shallow. All I could do is lay there, absorbing all the sensations he was creating in my body, while he... I shook my head. I didn't have time to do this now. We only had an hour to make it to court, and Pete still needed to shower. I only hoped that my excitement would be less obvious by the time I was done. "Brian? Can I come in for a sec?" It was Jason. "Sure. I'll be out in just a second though." He came into the bathroom and started digging through the medicine cabinet. "You sleep well?" I took a moment to respond as I was rinsing my hair. "Yeah. I woke up early though. I'm still kind of tired but I'll be OK." I laughed with no mirth. "I feel about normal." "You always have trouble sleeping?" "Usually. But I'm used to it." "Yeah, I'm sure you are. I'm out of here. Thanks." "Hey, your place, your rules. No big deal." The door shut behind him. I did a final rinse, shut off the water, opened the shower curtain, grabbed my towel, and dried myself as quickly as I could. Wrapping my towel around me, I went back to Pete's room. He was still dozing there as I entered, completely relaxed, and more beautiful than the last time I saw him, not more than twenty minutes ago. As I moved toward him, he raised his head and smiled at me. "Feel better?" "Yeah. More because I am here with you than the shower, though." I sat on the bed next to him and kissed him gently. "Better hurry up if you want breakfast before we go. We're running late." He kissed me again, and jumped out of bed. "Um, I think we should change the sheets." Pete blushed and grinned shyly. "I'm sorry about that. I haven't had a wet dream in almost a year." I smiled back. "Don't worry. I enjoyed it!" His face went from red to purple, and he giggled nervously as he put on his shorts for the dash to the bathroom. I dressed and was downstairs by the time he returned. Kevin was eating, as were Jason and Ray. Joanne must have still been asleep. Sharon was running around the kitchen, both cleaning up and making more of a mess as she finished up making waffles for me and Pete. The meal was a quiet affair. Nothing much was said. I think we were all afraid to jinx the decision by talking about it. Pete came down as I was polishing off my first helping. "Hurry and eat up, kids. We have to go in fifteen minutes. We can't be late this morning." Kevin rose, heading upstairs to finish dressing. Pete and I finished up in short order, completed our morning ablutions, and were waiting at the door for Kevin. He grinned at us as he came down the stairs. "You guys ready? Obviously. Let's do it then." He kissed Sharon long and hard. Pete and I looked at each other with a wry grin. Obviously there must have been more going on than we wanted to know about. "Love you, babe. See you later." I opened the door and followed Pete and Kevin out to the van. We drove directly to the courthouse and parked in the garage underneath. As we took the stairs up to the main level, I caught sight of Brenda and her lawyer getting out of a limo. I pointed her out to Kevin and he hurried Pete up the stairs in front of him. We made it to the courtroom before they spotted us. Van was waiting for us. He gave us an encouraging grin and motioned Pete to his seat. Kevin and I sat behind them in the front row of the gallery. Brenda and her lawyer came in, the weasel was whispering fiercely in her ear, and angry expression on his face. She just looked at him with disdain. The lawyer stopped in his tracks and said, loudly enough for me to hear, "If you decide to do this, you leave me no choice but to remove myself from your case." She turned on him, her eyes cold, expression bitter. "You're bungling lost it anyway. You're terminated." "You'll have my bill by morning. Good day, madam." He turned on his heel and walked out of the courtroom, back stiff, without a backward glance. I glanced to Kevin to see his reaction. He pretended not to notice, but I did see a small upturn at the corner of his mouth. I couldn't see Van's expression from where I was sitting. Pete watched his mom with impassivity, no expression at all. I could see pain in his eyes though. I think I was the only person in the world who could. She came forward and sat without word or glance in our direction, her face neutral, eyes flashing, rigid in her seat. There was so much rage in her that it filled the room. I could almost taste her fury. "All Rise! The Honorable Julie S. Desparo presiding." "You may be seated. Ms. Jameson, do you have anything you would like to say before I render my decision in this matter?" Brenda shook her head sharply. "Mr. Jameson?" Van responded, "Nothing at this time, your honor." "All right then. Moving onward. I won't waste any time here. The petitioner has more than proven his case to the satisfaction of this court, insofar as the respondent is not fit to have custody of this or any other child." I heard Pete and Kevin breath out heavily. I realized I was holding my breath too, and let it out as I turned to see Brenda's reaction to the judges words, but she was stoic. Nothing had changed in her expression. I swung by gaze back to the judge as she continued on. "... has, in the opinion of this court, met the requirements for emancipation from the custody of his natural parents. Therefore, by the order of this court, Peter Daniel Jameson, age 16, is hereby emancipated, and is a legal adult from this moment forward. Counselor, you will have the appropriate paperwork on my desk by tomorrow morning." Van responded immediately, "If it pleases the court, I have the documents with me, your honor." "Very well, Mr. Vanderkamp. I will take them now." The bailiff took the papers from Van's outstretched arm and handed them to the judge. She glanced through them briefly and nodded her head. "Anything else? Ms. Jameson?" Brenda stood, turned around and walked out, sparing not as much as a glance or sneer for Pete. "I'll take that as a no. Mr. Jameson?" Van spoke again. "No your hon-" Pete's hand stopped him mid-sentence. Van looked surprised, as were we all. "If it pleases the court, I would like a moment to confer with my client." "Certainly. Take as long as you need, within reason." Pete and Van huddled together speaking in hushed tones, so quiet we couldn't hear what was being said. Kevin, a worried look on his face, stood to join them, but Van stopped him in his tracks with a gesture. He sat heavily. Pete and Van's conversation took another two minutes. While we watched them, I asked, "What are they talking about, Kevin?" "I don't know. I can't imagine that there is anything more to speak about here." He shrugged. "I'm sure we'll find out soon enough." Van spoke louder now, loud enough for us to hear him. "Are you certain you want to do this?" Pete nodded, resolve on his face. "Okay Pete. It's your decision." Van turned to the judge once more. "Sidebar your honor?" Ms. Desparo looked confused by the unusual request considering we were the only people in the room besides the stenographer and the bailiff, but she motioned Van to the bench. As he moved from behind his table, he stared hard at Kevin, a piercing, measuring look. It was only a second, but it must have spoke volumes to Kevin. I could see his hands shaking. Van and the judge spoke at length, Pete watching them the whole time, his face a rigid mask with no expression whatsoever. Kevin was so nervous he began bouncing his knee at a fast pace. His hands were still shaking as he wringed them together. Van must have had more of an effect on Kevin than I thought he did. At long last, Van retreated to his chair. He sat on the edge, leaning forward, as if poised for action. Kevin noticed as well, and if anything, it agitated him more. "Mr. Jameson, you may address the court." "Thank you your honor. I would first like to thank the court for its judgment in this matter, without which I could not make the following request. I would beg the courts indulgence." At Ms. Desparo's nod, he continued. "As I have been emancipated by this court, and now have no ties to the people that raised me, I think it appropriate that I make a fresh start on my new life, with as clean a break from the past as possible. I have no desire to be associated with the people who abused and abandoned me. As much to forget the past as go on with my future, I would ask the court to authorize a name change for me." Kevin sat up rigidly, ramrod straight, motionless. "I think that can be arranged. You have a name in mind, I take it?" "Yes, your honor, I do. In my life, I have known very few people who truly love me unconditionally. I think it a rare enough occurrence that it should be recognized. I would be honored to take the name Patterson as my own, if Kevin and his family will permit me." Pete turned to Kevin. Kevin's jaw dropped to his lap, I swear. He was completely stunned, speechless, blinking as if he couldn't believe his ears. I saw tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. "Mr. Patterson?" He cleared his throat, and slowly stood. Kevin cleared his throat again, his eyes never leaving Pete's. Brushing tears away, he spoke, his voice thick with emotion. "Judge Desparo, it would be my great honor to give my name to Pete. A great honor indeed." Pete's reaction to Kevin's words was immediate. He closed the gap between them instantly, wrapping his arms around Kevin in a bear hug. Kevin responded in kind. They were both in tears, whispering in each others ear. "Mr. Vanderkamp, please have the appropriate paperwork on my desk as soon as practical. I'd like to file these two orders at the same time." "I will have it for you by noon, your honor." "Thank you. Anything else?" "I don't believe so, no." "Very well then. This court is adjourned." And with a bang of the gavel, Peter Daniel Jameson became Mr. Peter Daniel Patterson. * * * * * The ride home was quiet, with Kevin lost in his thoughts. Pete and I were in the back seat, holding hands and leaning on each other for support. Kevin kept glancing back at us and shaking his head slightly, a small smile on his face. I had no idea what was on his mind, and I didn't care. With a sigh, I rested my head on Pete's shoulder, and he rested his head against mine as he put his arm around my shoulders. He spoke to me softly. "It's over, Bri. I'm free of her. I won't ever have to see her again. You and I will never have to be apart again. I can go wherever I need to so we can be together." He stroked my hair as he spoke. His voice held a vacant quality, like he was unsure of what he said, saying the words to convince me as well as himself that it was all true. Lapsing into silence, he pulled me as close as I could get to him wearing the seatbelt. We sat like that the rest of the way home, my head on his shoulder. When we arrived at Pete's place, Danny's rental was parked in front. Reluctantly, we climbed out and went inside. Danny was talking to Sharon about something that sounded suspiciously like my parents. Jason must have stayed home from school because he was listening to them as we came in. Sharon and Danny stood as we came in the room, a hopeful look on their faces. Kevin cleared his throat again, came up between Pete and I and put his arms around us. He took a deep breath and spoke. "Sharon, Jason, Danny, may I have the honor of introducing to you Mr. Peter Daniel P-Patterson?" Kevin obviously still didn't really believe Pete wanted to take Patterson as his name. Sharon and Jason had the same stunned look on their face that Kevin had had when Pete asked to have his name changed. Danny blinked a couple of times and then broke into a wide grin. He moved forward and embraced Pete happily for a moment, and then backed out to arms length. "So what does that mean, exactly?" Pete looked back to Kevin, who still didn't really have it together. He faced Danny once more. "The judge granted my petitions. I am a legal adult now, emancipated from my... emancipated. After the decision was announced I asked the judge if I could change my last name, you know, for a clean break. She asked me what I wanted to change it to." He put his arm over Kevin's shoulders and looked to Sharon and Jason. "I chose Patterson because your home was the first place I found acceptance when I needed it most. Later, your home became a refuge, a safe place I could go when I was hurting, or afraid, and eventually your home became my home too. What you have done for me I can never repay you for. I thought that, maybe, by asking for your name, I could show you my gratitude somehow. If it wasn't for all of you, I probably wouldn't be alive today." Sharon and Jason came forward, and the Pattersons joined in a family hug. I smiled slightly as I heard murmured endearments and saw them draw closer together. I had no right to feel jealous or left out, but I did. My family was never this close, and Pete isn't really their family. They love him though. That much was obvious. My smile faded as I began to brood on my own family situation. Danny must have noticed my expression change as he came up from behind and put his arms around me, squeezing tight, letting me know I was loved I put my hands on his strong arms and squeezed, telling him I got the message. Pete wriggled out of the group embrace, grabbed me by the shirtsleeve, and pulled me to him. Kevin opened his arms to receive me into the group, saying, "We'd never leave a loved one out of the family. You are welcome here any time, under any circumstances, Brian." Sharon and Jason murmured their assent, and the embrace grew tight once again. For some inexplicable reason, I felt tears rising in my eyes. Maybe it was because I was happy for Pete, or that I had for the first time, excluding Danny, that I had found acceptance for who I really was, not who I had to pretend to be. I felt safe. I glanced over at Danny and saw him smiling at me, approval on his face. Gradually, we separated. Kevin and Sharon asked Pete and Jason to follow them upstairs to the office. I tried to follow, but Danny held me back. "Give them some time. They have some legal stuff they need to clear up, and I need to talk to you anyway." He led me into the kitchen and got himself a glass of water, then sat at the table. I followed suit. "I spoke with your parents today. They have agreed to fly up here for a week and look into the possibility of moving up to this area. They said they had thought about moving up here before you were born, and just didn't. Just don't get your hopes up. And by the way, your stay here has been extended until your parents go back home, but you'll have to travel back with them. They are bringing up your homework. They'll be here on Friday." "I'm not staying with them. I'm staying here with Pete. I belong with him." "Look, Brian. We have had this discussion before. You belong with your parents. I know you are still angry with them, but the fact remains they are your parents, with all the legal rights. They have been really good in dealing with your rejection of them, by letting you live with me, and allowing you to come up here in the first place. They could have forbidden me to allow you to see Pete at all. But they didn't. I think it is finally sinking in for them, that you and Pete are not going to just drift apart." "Damn right we're not!" He held up a finger, forestalling any further comment. "If they decide not to move up here, you are going to have to go home. You have no choice in that. And I won't help you stay if that is their decision. I can't from a legal standpoint. And besides, I can't stay another week. I have to cover another guys vacation. So you have a choice. Go back with me on Sunday, or go home with them next Saturday. Your call." I knew he was right. He always was. But I didn't care about legalities or what my parents wanted. So what? I was a petulant teenager. I knew I belonged with Pete, wherever he was. I sighed. "What am I going to do, Danny? I am so pissed at them. It feels like I will never forgive them, you know? They hurt me so bad. And it's not the first time. Am I supposed to forgive them every time they stab me in the heart? Turn the other cheek? How can I forget it all, and give them another chance, like you keep saying?" I looked into his eyes, and I could see real pain and regret. "I don't know, Brian. If I did I would tell you in a heartbeat. Somewhere in that big heart of yours, you have to find the strength." I snorted. Big heart? Me? Yeah, right. I sighed again. "I'll think about it, Danny. That's all I can promise." "That's all I can ask, Brian, but don't forget, I leave on Sunday." He stood, stretched, and said, "I am going to head back to the hotel. I have some business to take care of. Do you need anything?" "No, I guess not. They'll be here on Friday?" "Yes." "I guess I don't have much time then." "I'm going to take off. You have the number if anything comes up." As I stood to walk him to the door, Danny engulfed me in one of his patented bear hugs. "I'm proud of you, whatever decision you make. I'm here for you, okay?" I nodded as he released me to arms length. "Okay then. I'll talk to you later." He patted me on the shoulder, and then preceded me to the door. As he opened it, he turned one last time and said, "Call me if you need anything, for any reason, okay?" "Okay, if anything comes up I'll call you." He ruffled my hair and went out to his rental. I closed the door as soon as he got in, and settled on the couch to wait for the Pattersons to finish their family pow wow. Grabbing the remote, I turned on the TV and put on one of those cheesy daytime talk shows, but my mind wasn't on the fifteen year old punked out teenagers sleeping with their parent's friends. What was I going to do. With all my heart and soul I wanted and needed to stay with Pete. How could I possibly convince my mom and dad, who both hated the idea I was in love with another boy, that it was in my best interests to be with that boy? That the only way I could possibly be happy was with that boy at my side? That this was right? I shook myself out of that line of reasoning. It was depressing. I would do what I could. I would discuss this as a rational adult, give my reasons, and lay it on the line what the consequences would be for each option my parents had: to let me stay with Pete, or to take me away from him. The decision didn't come easily. I thought about it a lot, for at least an hour. Making the decision to trust my fate to them just happened. The past wasn't a consideration at the time, and why that was the case I can't imagine. Reflexively, I still distrusted them to do what was best for me. But for some reason, be it fate or providence, I had decided to give them the chance that Danny had asked of me. I knew in my heart that it was the right thing to do. As I continued to wait for Pete to come back down, I thought about what it would be like if I could stay here with Pete. My mind ran amok with all the possibilities, like where we would live and what we would do together. It was incomprehensible to me that he was an adult. I mean, he was only a kid, barely sixteen years old. Now he had all the responsibilities of an adult, making a living, paying taxes, bills, and on top of all that, he had to go to school too. How could he handle it all? I didn't even realize that they had come down stairs until Pete sat next to me, a concerned look on his face. "You okay, Bri? We lost you there for a minute." "Oh. Yeah. I'm okay. Just doing some heavy thinking. My parents will be here on Friday. Job hunting, I suppose. Danny leaves on Sunday. I have to decide if I want to leave with him, or leave when my parents do, next Friday. "Really, that's not a choice. Of course I'm staying. The question then becomes, since they will be responsible for me while they are up here, will they let me stay with Pete, or will they make me stay with them." Everyone was seated now, Sharon and Kevin on the loveseat, and us three boys on the couch. "I honestly don't know how they will respond. Yesterday I would have said there was no way. But after talking with Danny about it, and thinking about it, I am going to lay it on the line, and tell them how I feel about right now, not about what happened in the last three years. I think that they have given them a clear picture of how I feel about that. Maybe too clear. And of course, the decision whether or not Pete and I will live close to one another." I shrugged my shoulders to fight off the sense of dread that was creeping over me. Kevin spoke. "You realize that the possibility that your parents will move all the way up here is meager at best, right?" I nodded, afraid to voice my answer. "Brian," Sharon said quietly, "I understand your feelings. Danny told me of your past difficulties with your parents. It takes a lot of strength and maturity to come to the decision you have, and a lot of courage." I cleared my throat. "I don't know about strength, courage, or maturity. All I know is it's time to move on, now that I'm back with Pete. I can't dwell on the past any longer." Pete hugged me close to him, and kissed me on the cheek. I lay my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, relishing the feel of his arms around me. A few seconds later, the realization that I had taken the attention from where it belonged. Today was Pete's day. Pete Patterson's day. Raising my head, I looked into Pete's eyes and asked, "What's next? Where do you go from here?" "Well, we have to revisit the will, and see what my having my majority changes. There are other things, such as getting my name change completed in school, and on my accounts, and filling out the petition for adoption." I did a double take on that one. "Adoption?" He smiled at me and nodded, joy shining on his face. "Yeah. Kevin, Sharon, and Jason all asked me to think about becoming part of the family legally. It won't change anything other than make them my parents. I'll still be a legal adult." He grinned at them. "It didn't take much to convince me." "You're serious?" He nodded. "I... I don't know what to say. I'm so happy for you, Pete! You have no idea!" I wrapped him in my arms and tried to squeeze the life out of him. "Hey, Bri," cough, "Not so hard. You're going to crack a rib! Leggo of me, you dork!" He struggled to get away from me, so I finally released him, grinning. He panted, acting as if he had difficulty breathing, move arms distance away, and happily planted his fist on my shoulder. "Jerk!" "HEY!" I rubbed my shoulder, trying to keep a hurt look on my face, but it was hopeless. We were both excited and had energy to work off. We spent the rest of the day playing around. Jason offered to take us to a movie, and we took him up on his offer. After the film, we headed to the park with the football and the basketball and ran each other ragged. Ray appeared about four o'clock and joined in. When we had exhausted ourselves, we fell into a heap on the grass, sprawled out wherever gravity took us on the way down. Pete's head happened to land on my stomach, which I didn't mind one bit. Laying there, we watched the clouds gather overhead, talking about whatever came to mind. We consciously avoided talking about anything having to do with Pete's majority or my parents, instead keeping the tone light, talking about hot guys (to my surprise, Jason joined in on that topic), football, the movie we saw, the movies we wanted to see, things we wanted to do when we "grew up". We lay there talking until I felt the first rain begin to fall. Although loathe to get up, get up we did, and made our way home at a slow walk, ignoring the rain soaking us slowly. It was invigorating and cleansing for me, washing away some of the tension I had been carrying. By the time we made it back with out being dripping wet. None the less, we stripped to our shorts in the garage and took our turns in the showers. We sat down to a pleasant dinner with the whole family. I really watched how they treated Pete, if there was any hint of partiality to Jason or Ray. I found none. They treated all the kids, even me, the same. A smile here or there, a minor rebuke for some small lapse in manners, an encouraging word as Ray and Joanne reported on their day at school. I was beginning to see what had drawn Pete to ask for their name, and what would move him to become part of this family in truth, and not just in practice. Dinner was over. We boys cleared the table in no time, and Sharon brought out a cake with "Congratulations Pete" written on it. She cut and served it to us while Pete repeated what he'd said in court, and thanked them all again. Ray, however, was not completely happy. I found out later he was depressed since no progress had been made on his adoption. Poor kid. The remainder of the evening was spent in the family room watching TV. The next thing we knew, it was eleven o'clock and I was yawning so hard my jaw popped. I excused myself and went to bed, and was asleep the moment my head hit the pillow, not even waking as Pete wrapped himself around me before he fell asleep. * * * * * I awoke in the middle of the night, completely alert. I had a disturbing feeling in my gut, like someone had slugged me when I wasn't prepared. Sometimes I woke with this feeling, and every time I did, something happened within the next couple of days that changed my life radically. I had the same feeling a day before Pete came out to me, two days before he was taken from me, and a day before my dad gave me Pete's letters. I hate having these premonitions. They mean my life is going to be turned upside down again, and the only thing that popped into my head was my parents refusing to let me be with Pete. I never did get back to sleep. Pete woke up a little after seven. He yawned and stretched out as best he could, considering we were still entangled, and then snuggled closer. I couldn't believe how feeling his warm body against mine made me feel. Complete, fulfilled, content. We lay there for over an hour, neither of us saying anything, or paying attention to erections that occasionally made themselves known, instead, satisfied to lay in each others arms. There was a quick knock on the door. I ignored it, as did Pete. The door opened slightly. "You guys decent?" It was Kevin. "Yeah, come on in." Pete responded through a sigh. He made no effort to separate from me as Kevin came in, so I didn't either, even though I was slightly uncomfortable at him seeing us like this. He just peeked his head in the door though, and seeing us in each others arms grinned. "Aw, ain't that sweet! I'm getting ready to head down town, Pete. You need to go with me to sign the adoption paperwork and pick up your 'I'm an adult' card." He grinned. "So whenever you two lovebirds can manage to get out of bed, we'll get those errands out of the way and you can have the rest of the day to yourselves." "Okay, give me a few minutes and I'll be ready." He smiled as he said in a soft, kindly voice, "Take your time, boys. I'm in no hurry," and withdrew, closing the door behind him. "Time to get up, baby. As much as I hate to leave your arms...." "Me too, Pete." "Well, he said to take our time. Brian, we didn't talk about what happened yesterday. I was so embarrassed. Still am. I didn't mean..." "Shhhh. I know. You have nothing to worry about. It was special to me." "But still... we promised not to have sex until later." "You were asleep! You didn't have control of it. But like I said, it was special to me." I lay quietly for a minute before I continued. "Pete?" "Hmm?" "Where is the line between not being sex and being sex?" "I don't know for sure. That's something we'll have to decide. Realistically we could have sex now, but neither of us want that. Well, we want it, but you know what I mean. How far is far enough then? Maybe we just have to play it by ear." I sighed contentedly, and we lay there for several more minutes. "I'm sorry, Bri, but if I don't get up now, I won't get up." "So? What's so bad about that?" "I'd love to stay, but I do have some business to take care of." He gave me a peck on the cheek. We disentangled ourselves and completed our morning ablutions. We were ready to go by nine. Kevin took us down to the court house to sign the papers from yesterday and for the adoption. It took less time than I thought it would. When all was said and done, Pete came out with a picture ID from the state that had "EMANCIPATED" in bold type across the top. And it was a cute picture, too. Having completed our errands, Kevin dropped us off at the house before heading into his office for the first time since I had met him. "It must be nice to have a job where you can take off as much time as you want, huh, Pete?" He just grinned. "We'll see. Maybe someday you and I will have that kind of life." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Don't worry. Things will work out. If your parents won't let us stay together, at least we can stay in communication now, at the bare minimum. Legally I can move anywhere I want to, even down there. Maybe Danny will let me live with him if they decide to go that way. Brian, things will work out. Trust me, okay?" I sighed heavily. "It's just so hard to trust. To trust anyone, not just you. But I'll try." The remainder of the day was spent much as the previous one. We went out for a movie, ate lunch at a steak house, did some shopping, played some video games, just doing what teens do. No one questioned why we were out of school, which kind of surprised me. Guess I was kind of paranoid. But we had a great time, anyway. That evening after dinner, I began to get nervous about seeing my parents. The more I thought about it, the more nervous I got. They were coming up here to decide my fate, whether I lived happily, or lived devastated. Frightening possibilities began to intrude on my already chaotic thoughts. I imagined scenario after scenario, losing Pete in each one. My breathing had accelerated to short, shallow breaths, and my knee was bouncing. Pete noticed my anxiety, and put his hand on my knee to stop it. Now one thing to understand about me, I am not a person with a lot of nervous energy, almost never bouncing my knee or drumming my fingers. I glanced to his hand, and then at his face. He was watching me with a worried expression on his face, and behind him on the loveseat, I saw Sharon quietly observing us. My paranoia decided to kick in at that point, leaving me feeling like I was under a microscope, and couldn't breathe. I couldn't stand it. I had to get away! I lunged up off the couch and almost tore down the front door trying to open it. Once outside, I ran from the house toward the most wide open area I knew- the park down the street. As I ran, I tried to slow my breathing from fast and irregular to slow and deep, but my body wouldn't respond. I kept going. If I kept running, everything would be all right, just like it should to be. I could live my life with Pete, and my parents could live theirs. Breathe. Even out the stride. Smooth. Breathe. I couldn't get my breathing right. I couldn't slow it down, and I was getting light headed. The park was only a quarter mile ahead. I could make it. "Brian!" Gotta keep going. I'm almost there. "Brian, stop!" I could hear Pete behind me, but I had to finish my run. Only one hundred yards to go. I could hear other voices now, closing in on me. Seventy yards. Fifty yards. "Brian, stop it! This won't fix anything!" Thirty yards. My vision started clouding, all I could see was the bench, but that was enough to get me there. Twenty. My legs started going out on me. I started slowing so I wouldn't run into the bench. I collapsed to my knees as I got there, still breathing too fast, and not deeply enough to get any air. The realization dawned on me all at once as Pete, Sharon and Kevin came skidding to a halt around me. What a complete idiot I was, working myself up into a panic attack, then sprinting almost a mile while hyperventilating. I could very easily have lost consciousness and split my fool head open on the bench. I knelt there, just breathing, trying to relax. Pete knelt beside me, his hand on my back. From behind, I heard the van come to a screeching halt in the parking lot. "Jason, get a paper bag out of the back." "Is he okay?" "Just hurry." A few seconds later, I felt someone hold a bag to my mouth and nose. Without being told, I kept breathing. "Brian, can you understand me?" Sharon. I nodded. "Do you feel faint?" I wagged one of my hands on the bench. I really wasn't that bad. Good thing I was in excellent shape. "I want you to sit down, okay? It will be easier to lay you down if it comes to that." I shifted myself around until I sat on the ground. The whole time, Pete kept the bag applied to my face. I replaced his hands with mine as soon as I was settled, giving one of them a quick squeeze as he withdrew. He looked me in the eyes, and I nodded slightly, not trusting myself to speak. He half smiled, and nodded back. "He's okay," Pete said, "He just needs to calm down a bit." Sharon looked at him sharply. "How do you know that? He just had a major panic attack." "I just know." He leaned over, kissed my forehead, and stood, pulling Kevin off to the side. They spoke in tones I couldn't hear. My breathing was slowing now. The dizziness was gone, as was the tunnel vision. A few more minutes and I'd be fine. Sharon knelt in front of me. "Do you know what caused the attack?" I nodded. "Is the light headedness gone?" I nodded again. "Okay. Give the bag a few more minutes, then you can take it off." I nodded once more. Sharon rose and joined Kevin and Pete in their conversation. Jason, who had been leaning against the van, sat on the bench beside me. Feeling silly sitting on the ground, I move to the bench beside him. "You feeling okay, Brian?" I removed the paper bag, took a few short breaths, and then a long, deep one. Noticing no ill effects, I answered him ruefully. "Yeah. I feel stupid though. I was thinking about my parents and all the possibilities and the what ifs and what it would be like without Pete.... The next thing I knew I was hyperventilating in a full blown panic attack, and just had to get out of the house into the air. Why I ran...." I shrugged. "I've never had a panic attack before." "Meeting your parents really bothers you, huh?" "Yeah. I mean, I know I have to give them another chance. It's the right thing to do. But I don't trust them. I can't trust them. But the only way Pete and I can be together is to get their permission, if not their approval. So, I have no other way but to let them have their choice." "What will you do if they say no?" I took a deep breath, and looked at my feet. "I don't know. I probably won't until it happens." Jason kicked at a loose rock. "I can see how much you love each other. I can also see that you are both scared. Scared you might make a mistake, scared of getting too close, scared of being separated. I know Pete well enough now that you don't have to worry about making a mistake with him. He loves you completely. It's obvious to all of us. Except you, maybe. As far as separation, until you are 18, there really isn't much you can do about it. And it makes sense that you don't want to get too close if that possibility exists. "What I am trying to say here is, maybe it's worth the risk of getting closer. You don't know for sure your parents will go that way. If they do, then you two have that much more to hold you together while you wait. If they let you stay, then you can just keep going. That's my take on it, anyway." I was quiet after he finished. A lot of what he had said didn't make sense to me. Scared to get too close to Pete? That's all I wanted! And Pete loving me completely? Well, I have more baggage than a 747. I just hoped the load on my shoulders wouldn't land on his. All we could do is wait and see. Glancing over my shoulder, I could see Kevin, Sharon, and Pete engrossed in a hushed but animated conversation. Kevin was the only person facing me in the trio. Noticing me watching, he held up his hands, signaling an end to the discussion. All three turned and approached me. I really hated being the center of attention like this. I much preferred being in the background. "Are you feeling better?" Sharon's voice held obvious concern. "Yeah. I'm fine. Can we go now?" I really didn't want to dwell on what caused this stupid episode. Talk about being embarrassed. Sharon glanced at Kevin. "Sure. Come on. Get in the van." With great relief, I did as directed. Once we were all in, we made the short drive back to Pete's house. Nothing was said by anyone. Pete lay his hand in my lap, which I took in my hand. Smiling slightly to let him know I was fine, I rested my head on his shoulder. When we got back, Sharon wasted no time in asking me what happened. I told her, and that it was no big deal. She gave me a look that said, "Yeah... right," but didn't press the issue. Not much later, I made my way upstairs to bed. Pete, who hadn't really said anything after we got back, had just stayed close to me. He followed me up to the room, and shut the door. "It was your parents." I nodded. "Has this happened before? A panic attack?" "No. First time. It's stupid." He must have thought I was the biggest loser on the earth. I began to undress, holding back the tears of humiliation. "Maybe. Brian, I wish you wouldn't worry so much. We will be together. If not now, then soon enough. We went through three years, not knowing anything about each other, and we made it. This time we know. I love you, and you love me. They can never change that. Never. Even if they split us up again, we can still talk. Letters and phone calls. A week here and there. I know it's not the best situation, but we can handle it. I know it." "I hope so. I can't imagine losing you again." I finished removing my clothes, and sat on the bed, watching Pete strip. "You won't. It'll never happen. Even if we're separated." He removed his shirt. I think I started to drool, but I can't be sure. "I am so tired of being afraid, living in fear! Why can't I just live a normal life?" It was more of a statement than a question. Pete didn't respond immediately, instead concentrating on removing his jeans without falling over. He had to hop a couple of times to keep his balance, causing me to laugh. He finally got them off, leaning against the door. "That's what I like to hear. It'll get better." Pulling down the covers, he motioned me to follow him. He didn't need to tell me twice. I snuggled in close to him, molding my body to his. He giggled. "You forgot to turn out the light." I groaned. Pulling myself away from him, I felt his hand trail down my back as I got out of bed. At the last minute, he scooped his finger under the waistband of my boxer-briefs and snapped it. I looked at him over my shoulder, seeing his broad smile. Stopping at the switch, I just looked at him, taking in his every visible feature, from his beautiful eyes to his smile, to his hairless chest, to his tight abs. He grinned at me as he pulled back the covers. I could tell he was excited by the tent in his boxers. He looked absolutely incredible. I can still see that image in my mind's eye. "See something you like?" I stared for a long moment, all the while his amusement was growing. I loved him so much, it hurt. Something clicked in my soul. I knew, in my heart, without a doubt, that we were destined to be together for the rest of our lives, even if we had to live separately for some time. Love does transcend all boundaries. "God, you are so beautiful. I can't take my eyes off of you." He giggled. "I can see that. And you're not exactly ugly yourself." Turning of the light at last, I made my way to the bed, pausing to take off my briefs. As I did, I could hear Pete do the same. Climbing into bed, I met him halfway, our lips coming together in a, tender passionate kiss. Constructive criticism and comments gladly accepted. Please e-mail me at dewey2k@yahoo.com. Flames will be ignored, then deleted. I'd like to invite you to join a list that will notify you of new chapters being released for "Pete". 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