Goodbye
A novel by Danny
Chapter 3
Once we got back up to the farm, I didn't see Kevin the rest of that day until he came in way late at night. I had not been able to sleep and was lyin' in my bed, lookin' up at the shadow on the ceilin' caused by the moon shinin' through a tree. That was when I heard the screen door creak open and then heard pa yellin' at Kevin for stayin' out so late.
The yellin' turned into muffled words followed by pa shoutin', "Are you drunk again?" and then there was nothing. I waited to hear something but there wasn't anything else said, no more shouts and not even the sound of pa layin' into Kevin.
Then I heard someone comin' up the steps and by the sound of it, it was more then one person. I acted like I was asleep when pa came into our room with Kevin kind of hangin' over pa's shoulder like a sack of taters. With one big grunt pa dropped Kevin onto his bed and he bounded once before layin' motionless. With the moon shinin' in through the window, I saw pa shake his head in disgust and then leave.
Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised when I realized I weren't the only one awake. It seemed that, pa's shouts, or maybe it was the sound of Kevin hittin' the bed so hard that had awakened my two younger bothers. Anyhow, Kyle-Lee and Kane were both up now too. After waitin' to be sure pa had gone to bed, they started to get up, and figurin' what they were gonna do, I got up to help.
Over the past week I'd gotten use to them seein' me wearin' diapers so it didn't bother me too much now and anyway, I was also more worried about Kevin then myself right then.
To say that Kevin smelled horrible would really be puttin' it kindly; the only thing I can compare him too is what a decayin' snake in moonshine would smell like. The front of his clothes was covered in vomit and it looked like maybe he might have been in a fight `cause his nose and upper lip had dried blood caked too it.
This isn't the first time we seen Kevin like this, it happened once before and pa had laid into Kevin so bad that ma had to stop him. I honestly didn't want to be around in the mornin' when pa got a hold of Kevin.
Kyle-lee, Kane and me started gettin' Kevin out of his clothes. Kane was workin' on unbuttonin' Kevin's shirt while Kyle-Lee was tryin' to untie his boots and I was unfastenin' his belt.
"Oh man, he peed in his pants!"
Both of my younger bothers stopped what they were doin' and looked at me in disbelief that I, of all people would say something like that. I felt my face flush hot with embracement and for several awkward seconds they just stared at me with blank expressions before returnin' their attention to gettin' Kevin out of his wet and smelly closes.
Once Kyle-Lee had his boots off, he started helpin' me pull off Kevin's pants. Havin' stripped him down to his undershorts, the three of us looked down in amazement at Kevin's nearly nude body. All three of us have seen Kevin naked lots of times but this was the first time any of us had seen him with his, `you know what' all stiff and standin' up! We stood open mouthed; gawkin' at the yellow stained tent shape of Kevin's undershorts until Kane finally turned around, yanked the blanket off his own bed and tossed it over Kevin.
Without sayin' anything about what we had just witnessed, the three of us climbed back into our beds. I don't think any of us boys, aside from Kevin, slept the rest of that night. I had two images in my head that I could not get myself to quit thinkin' about. The first was seein' Kevin's thing all hard and pushing his undershorts up like that and the other was the scene I knew would play out once the sun came up.
Several things were missin' Monday mornin' from the breakfast table; two of which were Kevin and Pa and the other was the normal mornin' chatter. Every last one of us sat in silence eatin' our fried eggs and toast and tryin' our best not to make eye contact with each other.
As soon as we were done ma kissed us, gave us our sack lunches and shooed us out the door. I was the last one out the door and ma helped me put my backpack on and said, "If'n you need changed, you go to your school nurse just like at your old school."
I started to ask something but she cut me off, "Already spoke with your teachers and everyone else at your school. It has all been worked out."
She kissed the end of my nose, swatted my diapered butt and pushed me out the door before I could say another word or think of someway of not havin' to go to school.
Now, standin' on the front porch I felt for the first time real fear and had I not seen what I saw just then I am sure it would'a brought me to tears and I would have run back inside cryin' and beggin' not to have to go to school in a diaper.
You see, when Kyle-Lee, Kane and I woke up this mornin' Kevin and his dirty clothes from yesterday were already gone from our room. His bed had also been stripped down to the mattress, which had a new and all too familiar lookin' stain on it. The three of us gave each other knowin' glances and Kane looked like he wanted to say something but he managed to hold his tongue.
While Kyle-Lee and Kane was gettin' ready for school I had started to rush to the bathroom to wash myself but was stopped when Kyle-Lee reached out and grabbed my arm.
"Hey?" I said softly in protest.
With just a look, he relayed to me that I didn't need a bath this mornin'. Confused I pointed toward the bathroom and he pointed down at my diaper and gave my rubber pants a flick with his finger. Since the rubber pants that covered my diaper are a sort of dark yellow-brown color, I didn't get what he meant until I lifted my nightshirt, thrust my hand inside and felt that I was dry. I'd been awake all night long so I had not wet the bed last night. I was so happy about it that it did not occur to me until I was on the bus to school that there was no way that Kyle-Lee could have known I was dry just by lookin'. But that thought didn't stay with me for very long `cause a few minutes later the bus had pulled up in front of my school and everything inside my head just sort of went liquid and drained out of me.
Since I didn't need to bathe I also didn't need to have ma, or any of my sisters to help me get changed into a dry diaper. And maybe is was because of the extremely heavy mood that hung in the air all mornin' that made them all forget to ask or offer to help or maybe they all assumed that one of them did it without sayin' so.
Standin' on the porch, I saw pa in the back of his
pickup truck and Kevin was up in the loft tossin'
bails of hay down for pa to catch. They were workin'
like nothing had happened last night. Without stoppin'
their work pa called out, "You kids have a good day at school," and as if it
were something completely normal of him to say he said, "and
Sure, it was just my brothers and sisters that were around to hear him, but I still felt like I wanted to climb under the grass to hide. I was so thankful when Kristen answered for me, "Ma had me put some in his backpack last night!"
The others were all talkin' amongst themselves as we walked up our lane together. Kane and Kristen were whisperin' so I couldn't hear what they were sayin' but Kathy and Kyle-Lee were talkin' almost in normal tones.
"No he didn't!" Kathy said after Kyle-Lee told her about how Kevin had puked all over himself.
"I bet pa is just waitin' `til we are gone before he takes the strap to Kevin." Kyle-Lee said.
"Why don't you two just shut up!" Kristen said so forcefully that it stopped all three of us in our tracks.
"Not you
I still don't know why but I took off runnin' as fast as I could and didn't stop until I reached the stop where my bus would pick me up. And thankfully it came before the others reached the end of our lane so I didn't have to face them again.
On the bus I took the very first seat right behind the bus driver and did not look at or speak to anyone. It was probably my imagination but I felt like every one of them were starin' at the back of my head and whisperin' about me.
Thoughts of my schoolmates didn't stay in my head for very long. They were quickly flushed away and replaced with re-visions of Kevin in bed last night and then seein' Kevin and pa worked so hard together this mornin'.
I had just got back to wonderin' how Kyle-Lee could have known I was dry this mornin' just by lookin' at the outside of my rubber pants. But just as I was really gettin' a grip on that thought the bus had pulled up in front of my school and everything inside my head melted like ice and flowed down through me and out into my diaper.