Date: Thu, 16 Jan 2014 17:23:56 -0800 (PST) From: Eric Foster Subject: In Time part 28 Disclaimer: this story contains sexual material. If you are not 18 or over, or this is not legal in your country you should not read any further. This material may offend if you find homosexual acts offensive or homosexual acts between younger boys offensive. All similarities between this story's plot line, characters, names, places, or any other item are purely coincidence. Enjoy. In Time "Alan...are you ok?" Alan quickly looked over to see Wyatt watching him. He slowly moved his hand and took Alan's in his own. "I'm fine," Alan replied, his eyes darting to the right to avoid making contact. "Are you though?" Alan let his head move just enough so he could lock eyes with Wyatt. It really didn't make things any easier. "I just had 'the talk' with my dad." Suddenly Alan felt Wyatt's arm snake around him and wrap him into a tight embrace. He could feel the smaller body begin to warm and relax his own. He wasn't sure how he survived without the feeling before. "You told your dad about us?" Wyatt asked quietly. Alan, surprised at the comment, jumped away a bit. "What!?" "I'm guessing not?" Wyatt said, his amber eyes scanning Alan's face "No I didn't." "Well its fine, I'm guessing he was talking about having a girlfriend and stuff?" Wyatt said as he turned sideways to lay himself across Alan's lap. "Yea, but I mean we both know we still like girls." Alan felt Wyatt's body become a bit tenser in his lap. He quickly leaned down and lightly kissed Wyatt on the cheek. "But I've got you now, and I'm happy that way," Alan said quietly into his ear. "I'm also happy that way," Wyatt said as he leaned up to return the kiss. "Though I am curious." "About what?" Wyatt asked as he leaned up to listen more closely. "Well, what are we going to tell our parents eventually? Cause I've started to notice other guys too, like cute guys," Alan replied, his voice becoming quieter towards the end. "I've noticed it too, so I don't know. I mean we're not gay, but we like guys," Wyatt said as he leaned back into the couch, pondering the thought. "Here, I'll just look it up," Alan said as he pulled out his phone. "What does it mean to like guys and girls?" The phone quickly did a google search on the question and immediately had a Wikipedia link. "Let's see.... it says it means were bisexual" "Can I see?" Alan leaned over to hold the screen up in front of Wyatt. He quickly read over the first few sentences of the description. "That does sound like us," Wyatt commented as he leaned back into Alan's chest. "So I guess we're bisexual then..." "I guess. But hell, who cares? We can just figure it out as we go," Wyatt said as he let his head move up to lie on Alan's shoulder. "Yea we can," Alan agreed as he wrapped his arms around Wyatt. The two sat for a few moments in silence, letting the quiet house resonate and echo their soft heart beats and slow breaths. Their warm bodies exchanged the heat and intimacy of the moment when two people are drawn together. It had a physical and sexual element about it, but the emotions couldn't be belittled. "Alan, do you think we'll go to college together?" Alan looked down to see Wyatt looking up, his amber eyes softly searching Alan's face for an answer. "I don't really know. I mean I'd like to, but we're only in 7th grade. Isn't that pretty far away?" "Yea, but in class they started talking about career paths and how we need to get ready for high school and stuff." "Well, what do you think you want to do?" "I think I want to do aerospace engineering," Wyatt said, his eyes scanning the ceiling. "What's that?" "I'd design airplanes and rockets and anything that flies," Wyatt said, a twinkle coming to his eye at the thought. "Sounds pretty cool, and you've always been good at math and science right?" Alan said, a smile forming on his lips. "Yea, I think I'll talk to my teacher about it tomorrow. What about you?" "What about me? "What do you think you want to do when you grow up?" Alan let his head drop back as he let out a long and loud 'hmmm'. "I don't really know yet. I'm ok with math and science, but I'm way better at social studies, and arguing, so maybe a lawyer or something like that," Alan said as he shrugged his shoulders. "Law's always a good area." "But why are you so worried about our futures?" Alan asked as he leaned in and softly ran the tip of his nose through Wyatt's hair. Wyatt suddenly leaned in close as he embraced Alan tightly. His face buried in Alan's chest as he let himself be enraptured by the larger boy. His emotions, insecurities, and his whole inner self became visible in that one moment. "I just don't wanna lose you..." Wyatt said quietly into the larger boy's chest. Alan leaned down and softly let his lips run across Wyatt's forehead as he felt the smaller boy begin to relax in his arms. "Well you haven't lost me yet, and if we start to separate, we'll cross that bridge that day, together," Alan said softly as he continued to hold Wyatt. He could hear light sniffles coming from Wyatt, and he knew why. It wasn't a secret that Wyatt worried a lot, and it wasn't a secret that he liked to plan ahead. But Alan wondered just how much of their future Wyatt trying to bear on his shoulders alone. And honestly how much he could bear. After all, they were just kids. The room around him didn't feel familiar anymore, and the posters didn't feel like his own. The only item he was certain was his was the picture that sat on his desk, so carefully placed. Yet everything else, all the posters of the cross, the bible, the video games, who owned them? Whose girlfriend kept calling him, angrily texting him? What church kept asking when he would attend the next service? And why did he feel so certain Caleb was the center of all this uncertainty? Jack got up from his bed and walked over to his mirror. He stared at himself in the fading winter sun and looked over the reflection that stared back at him. It looked like him, it acted like him, it smelled like him, and it even sounded like him, but was it him? "What the hell is wrong with me" Jack said, his voice unsteady and cracking. I'm falling in love with a middle schooler for god's sake. He's not even 13 yet and I'm already a high schooler!! I'm falling in love with a boy!! Jack suddenly moved to his bed and collapsed on top of it as he buried his face into his pillow, desperately trying to stifle his cries. He couldn't let his parents hear him crying, he couldn't let them see him as he was. He was shirtless, so they'd see the bruises and scratch marks on his arms, as well as the other marks, the ones that ran down and across. I need to trust in God. He'll save me from this, He'll keep me away from these evil thoughts and I can too, it's been...working Jack looked over to his desk, and saw the small pocket knife sitting there, a pertinent reminder of what would happen if he let those thoughts take over again. "Jack, it's time for dinner!" came the call from his mom downstairs. "I'll be down in a minute Mom." Jack got up from his bed and quickly walked over to his mirror. He scanned his face, and felt he'd be able to just say he got up from a nap. He grabbed his t-shirt and slung it on as he took one last look over himself in the mirror. Yet again, the same sense from before began to infiltrate his mind. He wasn't sure if he was really seeing himself anymore. "Jack?" "Coming Mom." Jack quickly walked out of his room and shut the door behind him as he walked slowly down the stairs to dinner. He entered the dining room and saw his mother and father already seated at the table. "Jack, your face is red," his mom noted as she got up to feel Jack's forehead from across the table. "I'm fine Mom. I just woke up from a nap is all," Jack said, a forced smile forging itself on his lips. "Would you say grace for us son?" Jack's dad asked as he held out his hand. "Sure Dad," Jack replied as he took his mom and dad's hand in his own. "Dear God, thank you for this meal and for all the blessings you have given us today. Please forgive us of our sins and let us continue to glorify your name. Let this food be nourishment to our bodies to allow us to be humble servants. In Jesus Christ's name we pray Amen," Jack said as he let go of his parents' hands and grabbed the silverware. "Amen. And speaking of grace son, I was wondering if you'd be coming with us to church this Sunday?" his dad asked, carefully watching Jack for a reaction. Jack froze for a moment. The thought alone seemed too daunting to consider. He quickly managed to regain his composure, but found he couldn't look his dad in the eyes when answering. "I mean, maybe Dad. I'm not sure." His father glanced over at his mother who shared the same concerned look on her face. "Jack, is it because you don't want to see Jessica again?" his mother asked him in a soft tone as she reached out and lightly placed her hand on top of his. I guess she's part of the reason. "Yea...I guess I don't know if I'm ready to see her again," Jack replied, trying his best to sound convincing. "Well son, I think if you went and tried to just talk it out with her, she'd be willing to listen. Plus you need to attend church. The only way you'll get through this is with God's help." "I guess I'll attend this Sunday then," Jack said halfheartedly as he brought a bite of mashed potatoes up to his mouth. His parents quickly changed the subject after that, neither really wanting to ask any more questions. Neither really wanted to ask what the root problem was for Jack, despite the fact that he felt his faith was crumbling around him. "Why do we have to leave!?" Jack shouted from the back seat as the car sped down the road. "Because it's better for you son. You'll be happier this way." his dad responded, not turning back to face his son. "But I was happy already!" "And living a life that was wrong. Jack you had a choice, and you chose wrong, so we're correcting it for you!" his dad shouted, quickly silencing his son. The 13 year old boy looked out the window and watched the variety of beautiful leaves fly by. He watched all the streets he had known so well disappear behind him. His life, friends, Nickolas, all were simply memories of the life he once lived, of all the things that made him happy. It just seemed so...wrong. And once again he watched the beautiful leaves fall to the ground as the car sped by, and again he wondered if that was freedom. "Wyatt, it's great to see you," Alan's mom said as she corralled Wyatt and her son into the dining room. "Thanks, Ms. Weslen. I always love having dinner over here," Wyatt said as he took a seat at the table with Alan. "Well it's always good to see you around Wyatt," Mr. Weslen said as he came into the dining room with a plate of food. "Boys, dig in," Ms. Weslen said encouragingly as she passed them their plates. The two boys quickly took the utensils and began scooping up large quantities of food that they quickly began wolfing down. Neither boy had eaten much that day, and they certainly felt it. Just as the two were about to grab a second serving, Ms. Weslen spoke up from her conversation she was having about the school. "Speaking of which, Alan, your father tells me that you have a romantic interest." Both Alan and Wyatt perked up. Wyatt's eyes went wide as he quickly glanced sideways over towards Alan, who looked to be equally in a state of shock. "He...he did?" Alan said, trying to keep himself from stuttering. "Yes, he said you'd said her name was Sarah and you had recently become interested," Ms. Weslen said with a small smile. Alan looked over to Wyatt and immediately noticed the change. His entire demeanor exuded anger, his eyes narrowing as his eyebrows crinkled at the center. "Umm....I...." "Well Alan, who is she? Wyatt do you know who this person is?" Alan's mother asked, trying to poke an answer out of one of them. "I've got no clue, but whoever she is I really hope Alan is happy with her," Wyatt said, with a painfully sarcastic smile strewn on his lips, but his eyes showing hurt. "Wyatt where are you going dear?" Ms. Weslen asked quickly as Wyatt got up from the table and began to walk to the door. "I've just gotten a text from my mom. I need to be home for homework and to help out with some late night chores. Thanks for the dinner," Wyatt said as he quickly grabbed his jacket and walked to the door. Alan knew he couldn't leave it like that. He quickly got up and began to walk towards the garage doorway as well. "Do you have somewhere to go to?" Alan's dad asked as his son began heading to the garage. "I forgot to tell Wyatt something for school on Monday," Alan said as he quickly went into the garage. Alan just barely managed to get out to the driveway before Wyatt had picked up his bike and was about to speed off. Alan quickly reached out and tightly held onto Wyatt's shoulder. "I'm going home Alan!" "Not until we talk," Alan said, taking two steps forward and placing his foot under the bike tire. "You lied to your dad, or did you?" Wyatt asked, his eyes locking with Alan's. "No, I lied to him, ok? He came in and asked me if I was dating someone, and I said yes without thinking about it." "Then why didn't you just tell him the truth?" Wyatt implored, his stance a bit more relaxed now. "Because, I didn't know what he'd say. I don't want to lose you either Wyatt," Alan said, daring to enter into a closer embrace just in front of the garage. Wyatt stood that way for a few moments, allowing himself to be embraced by the boy he liked so much. Yet he finally pulled away and stood silently, looking up into the larger boy's eyes. "Alan, my name is Wyatt, not Sarah." "I know that!" "And I'm a boy, not a girl, I hope you know that at least," Wyatt said, a light smile forming on his lips. "Well dir," Alan retorted. "Well apparently, you've told people otherwise, and I'm not ok with that," Wyatt said, his tone becoming more serious. "Wyatt I can't just come out about our relationship." "And why not?" "Because....I mean, dude, why do I have to do this? What about your parents?" "They already know I'm dating you!" Wyatt aggressively responded "Seriously, how long?" Alan asked, his eyes wide in disbelief. "For a week, though they suspected it sooner." Alan took a few steps back as the realization he had been outed to an adult he trusted slowly set in. His eyes scanned the concrete pathway as his mind raced around the thought. "Alan, I like you, and I want to date you, but only if you're going to be honest about us to people who it matters to," Wyatt said as he started to place his foot on the pedal. "So you want me to come out to my parents about us?" Alan asked, his tone reflecting his uncertainty. Wyatt stopped the bike just as he had begun to roll down the driveway. He sat, silent for a few moments, before he looked back to lock eyes with Alan. "At least stop lying about having a fucking girlfriend!" Wyatt said as he quickly turned around and pedaled away, cutting a sharp turn out of Alan's driveway. Alan stood there, watching as the small boy disappeared down the road, the boy he liked so much. It seemed almost like it wasn't really happening, like this was all just a bad dream. But he quickly realized it was happening, and that he had only one option. Alan turned around again to face his house. The lit up windows almost felt like they were a looming presence, a reality of what had to be faced. With a rapidly beating heart, an unsteady breath, and panicking mind, Alan took step into his house. Now. The Sunday service was drawing to a close as Jack sat near the back row away from the rest of the congregation. He watched the preacher again, but only barely noticed him, his words like a white noise to fill in the background. His focus was on the girl five rows in front of him. His focus was on reassuring himself; he could do this. Jack knew so well that if he got back with her, dated her again, then he'd fall in love with her and he'd be happy again. It was so easy, he just had to do it. He just had to try harder. Jack was plucked out of this trance when he noticed the rest of the congregation getting up to hear the benediction. Jack stood with them all and recited the words. The moment they were done, he quickly walked the few steps he had to. "Jessica," Jack said softly. The girl looked over to see Jack standing next to her. Her eyes cast a look of disapproval on the boy in front of her. She looked around, and noticed that no one was watching. "What is it Jack?" "Jessica, could we maybe talk outside for a bit, please?" Jack quietly asked as he motioned his head back towards the exit. Jessica again looked around, and again, nobody was looking. "Fine," she replied reluctantly as she quickly followed Jack to the exit. The two walked a short distance towards the garden next to the oak tree. It was just a small fountain with a bench beside it. Jessica stood in front of the tree, while Jack stood just a few steps behind her. The sound of the fountain filled in the background noise along with the birds chirping and the light sway of the trees in the winter breeze. "So what do you want Jack?" Jessica finally asked, her body language showing her discomfort at being here. "I wanted to just talk," Jack said, moving a step closer. "What are we talking about?" Jessica said, turning so that her back faced Jack. Jack took a few steps closer and reached out his hand to gently hold Jessica's shoulder. "About us," Jack said in a softened tone. He felt Jessica relax a little, a light sigh escaping her lungs as she turned back around to face Jack. She stared back at him, her eyes locking with his. Jessica leaned forward, her lips perched a little, expecting to feel Jack's on her own, but she only felt air as Jack leaned back to avoid the kiss. "Why won't you ever kiss me?" "What do you mean?" Jack asked, as Jessica took a few steps back. "Jack, we never do anything together. You never kiss me, or try to move forward, why?!" Jessica said, her voice becoming less stable, her eyes growing wide and he mouth hanging open. "Jessica, I just..." "And why did you stop talking to me? Why did you suddenly start ignoring me?!" Jessica asked, raising her tone. "Because I was really stressed out about something..." But again Jack's sentence was cut short. "About what?! Why didn't you tell me what it was?!" "Because it didn't involve you!" Jack stated mater-of-factly as he took a more aggressive stance. "Who did it involve?" Jessica asked calmly, her eyes suddenly becoming cold as her lips formed a scowl. "What?" Jack said, his voice weakening, a feeling of panic overcoming him. "I asked, if it wasn't me, then who did it involve?" "I....it doesn't matter. Jessica please I just want to fix this so we can be happy again," Jack stated, walking forward to take Jessica's hand in his own. "And who said I was happy dating you Jack?" Jessica said as she took her hand out of his. "What do you mean? I thought you were happy?" "Yea Jack, I thought you would pick up on the fact that I wasn't. I thought you would get that I was wanting more. Jack I don't think I could've made it any more obvious that I didn't just want to go on dates, talk, and go home," Jessica explained, her breathing becoming angry huffs and her eyes squinting at him. "What do you mean?!" "I mean," she said, glancing around to make sure again that they were alone, "I took off my shirt and bra, and you were still totally soft," she finished in a snide voice as she turned to walk away. Jack stood, frozen, blushing, clearly embarrassed by the comment, and not realizing how obviously uninterested he had been. "Jessica please..." "I'm not going back out with you Jack, and quite honestly I don't think you're interested in me anyway." Jessica paused for a few moments and then continued. "Or any girl for that matter." "What?" Jack felt his breath catch, his voice crack. "I mean, I'm not going to pretend date a homosexual," Jessica said as she finally began walking away. "But I'm not!" Jack loudly retorted, but still finding himself unable to move. Jessica stopped and turned around, her eyes locking with Jack's. The two could hear the rest of the congregation coming out of the church. The people talked loudly amongst themselves, hardly noticing the two distressed teens in the garden. It almost felt surreal. Jack watched his life turn into a state of panic as he sensed that the biggest secret he held could suddenly be on display for the world to see. "And I'm not an idiot Jack." And with that Jessica walked away, leaving Jack alone and in a state of panic. His heart raced while his mind struggled to comprehend what just occurred; his breathing was unsteady. His eyes were wide and his mouth hung open as felt the world crumble like an old brick building. It was only a matter of time now, and this time, he was certain it really was the end. "Jack are you coming son?" Jack looked over to see his parents waiting next to their car. The parking lot was near empty, and most of the congregation had already left. "Yea sorry Dad." Jack ran over and quickly got into the car, and the family pulled out of the parking lot. "So son, how did it go?" "I think," Jack paused for a moment to try and steady himself. "I think it went horribly wrong," Jack said, his eyes scanning the road outside. "What do you mean horribly wrong?" his mom asked, quickly turning around to see if Jack was ok. "I mean I just don't want to talk about it right now," Jack said quietly as he continued to look out the window. "Alan? Son, can I come in?" Alan looked up from his math book and turned around to see his father walking into the doorway to his room. "Sure, what's up Dad?" "Why are you doing math homework on a Friday night?" Alan looked down to realize he was actually doing homework that wasn't due until Wednesday. "I...I'm not really sure." "I think it's because you have something on your mind that you're not wanting to think about," Alan's dad said as he sat down on Alan's bed. Alan turned in his swivel chair to face his father who was scanning the bedroom floor with his eyes. He seemed so hesitant, so deep in thought about what his next words would be. "Son, is something going on between you and Wyatt?" Alan froze, but quickly regained composure. He didn't have to reveal anything just yet. "We're just arguing a bit right now Dad," Alan replied, stumbling to keep his tone consistent. His father watched his face in silence. Alan stared back for a few moments, but darted his eyes to the left, feeling insecure about what his father might pick up on. "I meant, are you two dating?" His father finally asked outright, but in a calm tone. Alan looked over and didn't sense any hostility. He sensed he was seeking an answer to clarify, not condemn. "Ye...yes dad," Alan said quietly. Alan's father got up from the bed and walked over to his son. He then knelt down and took his son into a tight embrace. Alan wrapped his hands around his father and held on tightly as he started to feel his breath become steadier, the weight being lifted off his chest. "Son I love you no matter what, and if you're happy with Wyatt then that's ok with me," Alan's dad said quietly as he continued to embrace his son. "Thank you Dad," Alan managed to force out, his voice becoming weak as he tried to keep himself from being overtaken by his emotions. The father and son stayed like that for several minutes. The young boy, so uncertain, was finally able to feel that his emotions were something that could be accepted. The father, though uncertain, understood that his son's happiness was what took priority. And why be angry? It was just a part of life. "Dad, how did you know?" Alan finally asked quietly as he let go of his dad. "You weren't very quiet in the driveway for starters," his dad said with a light smirk. Alan started to blush as he looked away. "But, to be honest," his dad paused as he let out a light breath, "I'd suspected it. You two have always been close, and there were a few times I sensed it might just be more than best friends." "Are we really that obvious?" "Not really, I think most people would just think you're really good friends, and you're only 12. Speaking of which, son did what I talk to you about still pertain to you?" "Yea it did, I mean I still like girls dad, but...well I like boys too. I think it's called being 'bisexual'," Alan said, a hint of uncertainty in his tone. His father raised an eyebrow as he raised his hand to his chin. "Well yea, that's what it's called, but how do you already know about that term?" "Wyatt and I looked it up yesterday on google." His father took a step forward and lightly placed his hand on his Alan's shoulder. "Well, that might be true, but why are you trying to label it when you're still so young?" Alan looked up to see his dad with a small smile on his lips. "Son, just be safe, and date who makes you happy." "Thanks Dad," Alan said, again wrapping his hands around his father in an embrace. "Anytime son. And also, please don't lie to me like that again," his father said in a more serious tone. Alan felt the guilt and shame cast over him again as he remembered Wyatt, and what he had done to him. "I'm sorry Dad, I just...well I didn't want you to tell me I had to break up with Wyatt" "Alan, you're not at fault for being cautious about this. I mean there are plenty of parents out there who'd react far worse. But son, I think you should know better by now that I'm not like that," his dad said, lightly patting Alan on the back as he finished his statement. "I know now Dad," Alan said, a smile spreading across his own face. "Well, how about you do something a little more fun?" Alan's dad said as he patted his son on the back again. "Ok dad," Alan said as he leaped out the door of his room. "Oh, and son?" Alan stopped and quickly turned around to face his dad again. "Yea Dad?" "I think you should give Wyatt a call," his father said with a serious but compassionate look in his eyes. Alan, rather than respond with words, gave a single nod to his dad as he walked out the door and down the hall. Caleb felt the dismay and array of unsettling emotions begin to cascade down upon him. His surroundings seemed only to imitate his feelings, and his own mind felt fogged. He knew what everyone was telling him, and he knew what he probably should do, yet he couldn't get himself to. He knew that by this point, he'd probably only be able to use one word to describe his feelings towards Jack. Love But why Jack? Why the hell do I have to love him.... Caleb pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at the messages that he had received since last Sunday. He pulled up the first message he had gotten from Jack. Hey Caleb can we just talk man 20 minutes later If you'd rather not, it's fine, I mean I just really wanted to ask you something One day later, Monday Never mind, just forget I asked anything, I wasn't thinking when I sent that. Two hours later Caleb...I know I'm being confusing but plz....can we just talk I really think maybe things have changed. Caleb continued to scroll through the over 70 messages, all the exact same. A continually flipping pattern of desperation to talk, and wanting just to ignore Caleb's existence. He was so unstable, he was...dangerous. Caleb knew very well his emotional limits, and he knew Jack was far outside of them, yet he knew it was stupid to deny that he felt something for him. Everything else about him was so...enrapturing. He was just like him. Like Mr. Stevens. Yet he wasn't the same, but just as dangerous. Caleb hadn't even realized he was crying until he felt the tears hit his hands beneath. He quickly ran over to his bed and buried his face again in his pillows. "Why the hell do I like him?" came the muffled cry between his sobs. It almost felt like a cruel joke, that the person he liked was just as unstable as himself, just as dangerous; that they understood that one step closer may shatter them both. Caleb was well aware of this. He had always been aware of it. He turned for a moment to look out his window, and watched the last of the leaves fall as winter's grips finally tightened on the town. The beautiful cascade of colors was strewn so carelessly across the yards and roads. Like a modern piece of art, beautiful, but so senseless that it was like a maze with no clear boundaries, and no marked exit. The boy wondered, for just a moment, when maybe this maze would finally end. It had nearly been a week since the encounter with Jessica, and here it was Friday, and nothing. Jack loomed over his phone, unsure of what he was really expecting from it. He knew that Caleb was getting the messages, but he wasn't responding to any of them. He knew he wasn't being consistent, but every time he felt the urge it was almost impossible to resist. He just wanted a chance to talk with to him. Jack wondered how desperate he must seem to Caleb. "Jack, I need to come in." Jack quickly looked up from his book to see his father walking into his room. He gave off a hostile, judgmental aurora. "Son, I just got off the phone with Jessica's parents," Jack's dad started. He looked to see that his mom was now standing in the doorway. She was biting her lower lip and looking up at him, her eyes cautious, as if she were trying to avoid making eye contact. "Ok, and?" "She thinks you left her because you're a homosexual," Jack's father said, the words coming out of his mouth like acid. "What?!" "I thought we dealt with this last time. I thought we moved to fix this son!" Jack's dad said, raising his voice until he was nearly shouting at his son. "I did fix it!" Jack stood up, his own voice raised to a shouting level. "Then why are you still like this?! Why are you choosing this son?!" "I'm not choosing anything!" Jack yelled back, taking a step towards his father. His dad looked over and noticed the picture on his desk. The picture of Jack, and the small blonde haired boy next to him. "I don't think you need to be keeping this with you until you're better," Jack's dad said as he reached out to grab the picture. "That's all I have left of him!!" Jack said quickly snatching the picture from his father's hands. His dad took a step back, his eyes wide and his mouth left open. "You give me that picture right now!" his father said, taking several steps forward with his hand outstretched. "Please Dad. I'm sorry, just let me keep the picture. I promise I'll talk to the preacher tomorrow!" "I think we might need to take more drastic measures," his father said in a low tone. "What...?" Jack asked, his voice trailing off as he felt his breath become unsteady. He could feel the emotions rising up inside of him. "I've signed you up for a camp you'll be attending over winter break. It's one where the power of prayer, and whatever else they need to do, will fix you. Maybe with that we'll finally move on," Jack's dad said, turning so his back faced his son. "Dad please...just give me a chance. I'm trying my best!" Jack finally yelled out as he felt the tears run down his cheeks. "I gave you a chance, but clearly your best isn't good enough because you're still a fag!" Jack's father yelled as he turned around and took several steps towards Jack. Jack continued to sob, trying his best to control his emotions, but he knew he was losing an uphill battle with what he was feeling. The tears continued to cascade down his face as his breath became shallower and less stable. "Dad....what if I'm gay," Jack said quietly, his eyes locked to the floor. Jack's father stopped mid stride. He turned around, and his eyes grew wide as he faced his son. "What?" "Dad, what if I'm gay?" Jack said again, but still unable to look up and face his father. "Don't you dare say that!" Jack's dad said, his tone becoming panicked as he reached out and took his son by his shirt collar and held him up by it. "Don't you dare say that!" his father yelled directly in his face. "But what if I am Dad!? What if that's why I can't be fixed!?" Jack yelled as he loosed himself from his father's grip. "I will not have a gay son!" "Then who am I?" Jack stood still as his father glared at him, and neither was willing to speak in rational terms. "If you're gay, you're not my son" Jack's father said, a scowl forming on his face, a cold look in his eyes. "And what if I left and I never came back?" Jack asked, his eyes showing hurt, pain. "I don't think it would matter," Jack's dad said as he began to turn around and walk to the doorway. "And what if I just died!" Jack shouted at his father, who only then stopped. He stood in the doorway, his mother already sobbing as she walked to the other end of the hallway. He placed his hand on the doorway and looked back at his son, his eyes cold like a stone in winter. "Maybe it'd be better that way, for all of us," Jack's father said, as he softly closed the door behind him. Jack stood, but he really wasn't there. His mind had gone far away, so far he didn't know if he'd ever find it again. It didn't feel like he was home anymore, his emotions were so great, so many. The spiral down only seemed to have gotten darker, faster. Did he have minutes, or only seconds left to the end? He walked over to his closet, and grabbed a duffel bag he kept around for when he spent the night with friends. He grabbed a few clothes, some toiletries, his wallet, and a few other items. Then he walked over to his desk and grabbed the picture and the pocket knife, and carefully placed both in his bag and zipped it up. Jack found his thicker jacket and put it on. The boy walked out the door and down the hall and reached the bottom of the stairs. He looked to his left, and there, with a cup of coffee in their hands, were his parents sitting in the dining room. He locked eyes with both, neither saying anything, though there were fully aware of what Jack was doing. "Do you even know where you're going to go?" "Does it matter?" His mom and dad continued to just stare at him, almost like they were watching a movie. They may have felt sympathy for the character, but they'd never do anything for him. It wasn't even real. "Jack." He stopped midway, just as he opened the front door. He looked back to see his father looking at him. "Don't come back until you've changed," his father said flatly, the same cold expression across his eyes and face. Jack only glared, then slammed the door shut behind himself. The cool night air met him as he walked down the front pathway. The night was dark, with only street lamps guiding his way as the misty atmosphere blocked the view of the stars. He felt his breath become unsteady, and he again felt like crying, but he knew that wasn't a luxury he had right now. He needed to find shelter. The park always had options for him, and he knew he wouldn't raise any suspicion if he was dressed in sports clothes and was there with a duffel bag. It was a common sight. Jack began his walk towards the park, and immediately recognized his stomach growling. It doesn't matter anyway, it'll be over soon enough Authors note: Hello again everyone, and yea I know it's another dark part. But let's be honest, there are a ton of LGBT kids who go through this and I felt this was a theme that was vital to incorporate. Though I also want to note and wonder if anyone noticed the parallel between Jack, and Alan and Wyatt. So I hope you all enjoyed this part, though I know it is more of a cliff hanger than anything. So do you have questions, comments, suggestions? Well please feel free to send them my way at EFoster447@yahoo.com. I really do enjoy getting mail from all of you, and I really enjoyed the letters people wrote last time. It's what keeps me writing and looking forward to giving you guys each new part. Also I wanted to thank my editor, Mike Archer, for reading over and editing this. Anyway let me know what you guys think and I hope you will continue to read and enjoy the parts as they continue to come out. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this series and stick with it.