Date: Sun, 14 Feb 2016 22:30:07 +1300 From: ben zeb Subject: Math Class Pt 16 Math Class Pt 16 Last Writes 2 To keep things contained and to help with cleaning up, we had our party in Greg's garage. Bales were placed around the walls and we made it into a bit of a western theme. We even suggested that our friends come dressed up. Most did. Our parents plus some others came out on the pretext of celebrating a dual sixteenth. We knew they were really there as minders. It was still a great success though. We had a typical sixteenth party I guess, though I'd only been to two. There was no booze, no fights, and no problems. Some couples disappeared into the darkness and came back looking a bit flushed and breathless; Jess and Devon were gone fifteen minutes or so, as did Keith and Em trying not to be too obvious. Little jealousy pangs bit me as they left. Greg noticed them leave and when they came back looking sheepish, he had a quiet word with Keith. Keith didn't look happy about it. He saw me and gave a little embarrassed grin. Then pretended nothing had happened. At the end only the six of us were left sitting around on bales talking and laughing about the day. Jess's dad arrived and he and Devon left with him. Darryl left with his mum leaving only the three of us. I felt extra so went to bed. Thinking to keep things straight in case Em came into his room, I hopped into the spare bed. Keith gave me a strange look when he came in. Next morning we set about cleaning up. A little after lunch we had it sorted. Keith suggested to Em that he show her around the farm. As he was taking his bike out of the shed, Greg suggested that I go as well. I quick frown flashed across his Keith's face. Before I could say anything, Keith asked, "Isn't your mum coming out to get you Zeb?" Trying to save face I replied, "Yeah, she is. Sorry bud can't go this time." I wanted to add, `and keep away from the fucken barn. That's ours'. I knew exactly where he intended to go. "Have fun, eh." Greg gave me a hard stare and to Keith, "Don't be long and don't do anything stupid. I don't want either of you getting hurt." I was still there an hour later when they came back. Mum arrived about thirty minutes later and Em and I left with her. Em chatted about the farm and how cool it all was. I mentioned that she must have had the royal tour as they were away for so long. She dropped her eyes and blushed. Monday the 17th was our birthday proper. Our family birthday dinner was at home. Sarah took the opportunity to zoom all over the place, much to her mum's annoyance. She was fascinated with the stairs and kept running up and sliding down them. Just before dinner, she came back down hugging a stuffed toy, a lion I'd had forever and a favourite when I was a little kid. She was having a conversation with him. I was a bit pissed off with that she had been in my room to get it, but didn't show it simply asking," Where did you find Fergus?" Keith was about to climb into her about going into others rooms, but I stopped him saying, "It's cool Bud." Sarah was very apologetic and looked like she was about to tear up. Keith called her over and gave her a hug to cheer her up. She came over to me. "I'm sorry Zebby. Then, "Why is his name Fergus?" "Don't know really. That's been his name forever. He was my favourite friend when I was little and he slept in my bed and kept me safe and warm at night. I'd almost forgotten him. Why did you bring him down Sarah?" "He was sad and wanted to come to your birthday. Can he come?" "Yeah, why not. But only if he eats his tucker and not too much. OK." "OK." Then away she went explaining it all to my stuffed toy. Greg and Keith just looked at me, eyebrows raised and grinning fit to bust! "Wot!" I barked. They laughed. "Fergus huh? You kept him quiet Bigboy," Keith says. As it happened, there were three sixteen year olds at that dinner; me, Keith and Fergus as mum explained. He was a pressie given the day we were born. I asked who gave him to me. Mum looked away then quietly said "John." "Oh my God," says Greg, "That must be why it's called Fergus. That was his middle name. We teased him about it at school." I looked at mum and began saying, "Then there must have been..." "That's right love," she interrupted, "There was," and changing the subject quickly said, "Dinners ready. Lets eat." "Was what?" Keith asked me. I held up two fingers. It dawned on him, "Oh, yeah." After dinner, before the gettin and givin began, I sat on the couch next to Sarah. She was cuddling and chatting with Fergus. "Look Sarah, poor Fergus is lonely. I've got a big friend to keep me safe now..." "You mean Keith, don't you," she interrupted. "Yes, I mean Keith. Anyway, Fergus still has a job to do and needs someone who will love him just like I did. I think that should be you. What you think? Could you look after him for me?' Sarah was just like her brother; a softy and lovable one at that. She threw her arms around my neck, gave me a big slobby kiss on my cheek and whispered, "I will Zeb, I promise." A D9 dozer wouldn't have prized Fergus out of her arms after that. Keith and I exchanged gifts; an official AB's world cup rugby strip from him and a hoody and a player's shirt with his number, from his favourite soccer club, Real Madrid from me. Of course we had to change into them. There were the usual array of clothes and money and some other stuff we needed like bike bits, fishing gear. The last pressie was a square box wrapped up with a familiar message, `open in private' on it. "Bloody Darryl!" we go. "Well, open it boys" says mum. "Ahh, think not," goes Keith. "Why boys," goes Greg. "Can't! See, it says open in private." I answer. With that I tuck it under all the others. Pressies over out comes the birthday cake, our favourite, chocolate and orange. Fill up on that, Mum and Debbie clean up and as it's past Sarah's bedtime, Greg and Debbie take her home. Keith stays the night with me. We watch a bit of TV then decide to go of to bed. As I was about to go up mum says, "That was a nice thing to do for Sarah. Are you sure you won't miss him. You could've given him to your child perhaps." "Maybe mum, to both. But every time I see him, I'd remember. So would you. I thought...well I thought it might make it easier. But where's the other one?" "With Martin." Then she hugged me and kissed me on the head. I found Keith in the bathroom finishing his teeth. I lean against the wall waiting and he has to ask me twice what's up. I shake my head and say, "Nothing bud, just thinking." Teeth cleaned, quick wash-up, strip of, into bed. Keith's lying on his back, hands behind his head, watching me. Lying down, he rolls over on his side. I turn and face him. "There's something on your mind, eh Zebby?" I think for a moment not wanting to spoil the moment. "It's Fergus." "Yeah that was nice you letting Sarah have him," he goes. "Where is the other one?" "With my twin." "Oh." Long pause. Really long pause. Then, "I can get Fergus back for you Zebby." "No, let Sarah have him. Its all good." Keith moved closer and put his arm around my shoulder. "Are you Ok about me and Em, Zeb?" To quickly, I lie, "Yeah. Of course I am. And good on ya for cracking her." "What? What you mean?" "Come on. It was obvious what you two were up to. And Jess and Devon, and the rest out there in the dark. You think we didn't notice?" "Oh, yeah. Dad certainly did. He gave me a fair roasting. I got another one on Sunday when you all left. He said I'd been unfair to you. I asked him how was I unfair. All he said was you know exactly what I mean. Fucked if I know what he meant. Do you?" Another lie. "No, can't think why bud. Anyway, how'd she like the barn?" Quickly changing the subject. "Oh shit. You guessed that to." "Course I did. Where else would've you gone. Fuck I would've." "Well, why didn't you then?" "What with Em? Fuck off Keith! I'd never do that to you! You know that!" We lapsed into silence. A short time later, Keith asks, "Have you had sex with her Zebby?' "What? No way bud. Why ask that?" "I'm not the first. She said she'd had sex with one of my friends. When I asked who, she wouldn't say. I wouldn't mind if it was you. You know that eh? Just, you'd tell me if you did eh?" "What the fuck Keith! Where's all this coming from. I'd never do anything behind your back and I've always been truthful with you. I'm happy you and Em are together and won't do anything to hurt either of you." "Yeah, I know Zeb. But it's just, well she didn't exactly say who, but sorta suggested that it might be, umm, well, it might be you cause you and her are good friends and you said you loved her." "She is a good friend and I do love her. But not like that. She's a mate. You don't fuck your mates." Keith choked and I realised what I'd said. "Fuck" he laughed, "Hate to be your enemy. What about Jess and Darryl? They're your mates aren't they? Aint I too?" "Oh, fuck Keith, you know what I mean. Don't confuse me. OK. I've fucked a couple of mates. But I've never fucked Emma. Period! Anyway, does it worry you someone's been there before you?" I asked. "Umm, don't know Zebby. Maybe, maybe not." Do you Love her?' "Yeah, I think I do. Doesn't feel the same as it does with you though. Just different." "What, sex? That's gotta feel different, surely." "No you fool. Course the sex is different. I mean how I feel about you and how I feel about her. It's different." "Oh." Was all I said. "Don't you wanna know why it's different?" Not really I'm thinking. Then, "Hey! The box! It's downstairs!" leaping out grabbing my robe I flew downstairs and grabbed it from where I shoved it earlier. Back in bed, we ripped the paper off and opened it. There were a few small packages, not unlike those we gave to Darryl. Yep, he'd returned the favour. The first package was a hand towel with a note attached, `To replace the used one'. We giggled at that. The second was the hay bale we'd given him. But stuck on it was a little doll he had obviously made, with it's bum in the air and underneath, he'd painted white spots. "The dirty shit!" We laughed. The third was the now empty tube of Vaseline, but he'd glued a big smiley face on it. "I think he's telling us something Zebby." "Yep!" I responded. The next package had us confused. It was a little chess set you can find in the $2 shop but both the queens were missing. "What's that about?" Keith says. I think for a bit, "We've played chess a bit and he's sometimes made comments about being lonely if he looses his queen and I'd be lonely if I lost mine. Maybe that's it?" "What? Is he saying you two are the queens?" "That'd be pretty random!" I say. Then it clicks. "I think he's just admitted he's gay. He's never actually said he is. Wow! That's big." "Fuck! That is random. How're you meant to understand that?" Keith goes. "That's Darryl I guess. Fucken twat. Fancy calling me a queen. Wait'll I see him. He'll be getting a boot up the arse, that's for sure." "Only a boot," Keith grins. "Fuck-up and open the next one" I laugh. In it was a toy motorbike. Glued on the seat was a little piece of sponge. We cracked up. "No doubt about this kid, he has a wicked sense of humour," Keith muses. On the bottom of the box was a folded piece of paper. Written on it was `I have friends. Thank you.' We looked at each other. Keith refolded it and carefully placed it my bedside cabinet. There were two more packages, one for each of us. Inside a framed photo of all of us taken at his party. On the back `Thanks'. "Thank fuck we didn't open this downstairs" goes Keith. "Shit, yeah. Imagine what the olds would've said about the bale." That got us laughing and joking around; mum called up the stairs, "You've got school tomorrow boys. You should get some sleep." "Yeah, Ok,' we shouted back. "Well, we're legal now Bigboy. I reckon we test things to see if it's different." "Fuck! You've got a way with words. Very romantic. Is that what you say to Em, then?" I joked. "Don't spoil the moment Zebby." The 17th of August 2015 will live in my memory as one of the sweetest moments Keith and I have ever shared. We celebrated our shared birth day locked together in an embrace late into the night, giving to each, the only way two committed lovers can. Sleepy-eyed and yawning our way through breakfast, mum giving us a hurry-up, showered and ready for school, we wandered down to the bus stop. Jess greeted us with, "I can see what you've been up to." At the next stop the rest of our group piled on, Em making a beeline for Keith. Darryl came up saying "You enjoy your pressie?" To piss him off I replied, "Oh shit! We were gunna open that but left it on the couch. Sorry Darryl. What was in it?" "Oh nothing much. Just some stuff." He looked disappointed. Suffer you bastard I'm thinking and winked at Keith. Emma was all over Keith asking him why he didn't txt and why couldn't she have come to the dinner and why didn't you ring me and I txt you why didn't you answer and so on. Keith just shook his head repeatedly saying sorry Em I shoulda but it was a family dinner and I didn't get your txt and I'm sorry I didn't call you but I was pretty busy and so on. Sickening really. I stood up and looked at the top of his head. Jess got the meaning. "Patch there yet?" he goes. "Nah, but hairs gettin thinner." "Oh shudup ya wankers" he returns. We laugh. Emma's going, "What? What? What's going on?" "Nothing Em" goes Jess, "Just checking for thumb marks is all." Glad it was him said it cause she comes out with, "Oh, fuck-up ya dumb bastard." Don't know if she meant it or not, but she didn't look happy." Just another day at school, I get home and I get two visitors. The first is the youth aid officer. "Good afternoon Zeb. Is your mum home?" Yes I go. "Can I come in please? I need to talk to you both." "I'm sixteen now, don't need mum. What can I do for you?" "I'd like to talk to you and your mum please," he goes. So in he comes, mum comes out and we sit down in the lounge. "Zeb," he starts, "There has been some vandalism at the neighbours house over the weekend. Words were spayed on his house and a rock was thrown through his window. Do you know anything about this?" "Why would I, " I go. "Well, you've had trouble in the past, haven't you. I'm just wondering if you know anything about it." Mum is about to say something but I interrupt, "I wasn't here over the weekend, so it couldn't be me." "OK. He says it was." "Then he's a lying shit! I wasn't here." Mum confirmed where I was and he took notes saying he'd follow up. Then he left. I just looked at mum and shook my head and went up to my bedroom. I had a fair idea who did it as it I heard the rumour at school. But I wasn't about to dob anyone in. A little while later I hear the door go again. Mum answers, I hear my name mentioned and footsteps up the stairs. Em sticks her head around the door. "Can I come in?" "Sure Em." She hops on my bed. "Sup, girl," I say. "Just thought it was time to catch up with ya. You being old and like." She goes. "Old! Fuckof" I go. "Your birthdays next." "So, you're up here now." "Yep been here for over a year now. It's a while since you've been here, eh." "Yeah. Where does Keith sleep?" She goes "Here, of course." I return. "What, you got a roll away bed somewhere?' "No. In this," I go patting my bed. "Together!" she exclaims. "Of course. Don't you and your friends when they stay over?" "Yeah, but that's different. You're guys." She says. "So fucken what! How is that different?" I'm getting a little pissed off now. I'm wondering what she wants. "Bit old to be sleeping together aren't you?" What! You`re my mother now are you?" I say sarcastically. "Just seems a bit weird. Two guys sharing a bed. Might look like your gay or something." "Is that what you think, is it Emma. That we're gay or something." "No, no, no. It's just, well it's weird." "Look Em, what do you want? It's not just to find out where Keith sleeps when he's here, is it?" "Well...he stays here a lot doesn't he," states Em. "He's my mate, why shouldn't he." I can feel myself getting really annoyed now. "Jess doesn't." "Jess fucken lives here for fucks sake! He doesn't need to sleep over to see me!" "No need to get bitchy. Just saying is all." "Ok then," I say, calming a little. So, how's every thing. "Yeah, it's good. Specially me and Keith." "Yeah, that's nice." "He's a really nice guy." No argument from me I'm thinking. But I say nothing. She goes on, "You and him are good mates eh." WTF, here we go again I think. "Yeah, we are." "Real close." "Yeah we are." "You looked a little pissed off when we were at the farm Sunday. I never answered. "Why?' she goes. "I wasn't pissed off Em. I'm happy for you both. If you wanna shag Keith great, go for it. That's your business." "He loves me." "Good." I say curtly. "I thought you loved me." Ding! Here we go. "I do Em." "So, your not jealous then." "No," I lie. We sit there silently. Then she goes, "Why didn't you do something about it then." "About what?" "You and me. Didn't you want a relationship with me." "You're my mate Em. I don't love you like that. You don't fuck your mates." Then out she comes with a stunner. "People think you're gay or something." "What?" genuine surprise. "Where's that coming from? Who says I'm gay?" "Just...some people cause you don't have a girlfriend." "Oh for fucks sake! Really! Do you think that Em?" "Well no, not really. But you spend more time with your guy mates than girls." "What! I should be a jock-arsed himbo, should I? Try and shag anything with a pussy and if I can't, bullshit about it. Is that what you reckon?" I'm getting real angry now and Em can see it. "Look, I didn't mean to upset you Zeb. It's just, well strange you didn't try to with me. I would've you know. I love you too. But shit Zeb, you don't have a girl friend. What am I sposed to think?" "Anything you fucken like! Just because I didn't line up to shag you doesn't mean a thing. Just you make sure you're honest with Keith and don't fuck him around." "What do you mean honest?" "You know exactly what I mean." Suddenly, whack! She fair slaps me across my face. "Fuck you." She goes. "Better go now Em." I answer. I didn't dare say another thing. She flies down the stairs in tears and slams the door. Fuck, I think. Don't need any more visitors if they're like the last two. I go down when dinner is ready. Mum has to ask, "What was that all about?" "Just an argument about shit Em should know better about." "Oh." We eat dinner in silence. After that, things began to spiral down into a pit of shit! A few days later I get called a faggot. I was surprised as it came from one of the lunchtime sports group. I laughed as teasing is pretty normal at school. Then it began more often from more people, some I didn't know that well. It began to be really nasty shit and there was a viciousness behind it. The name calling ramped up to arse fucker, queer, cock sucker etc. I had to smile to myself really. After all, it was true. Keith and Jess stood up for me, but I was concerned that they shouldn't be caught up in what ever was going on. Then the threats started, that I'd better watch out cause I was gunna get the bash at school and out of school. Nothing was said when Jess or Keith were near by and I never let on what to them about it either. One day soon after that, as I was passing the workshop, two heroes came out from the tech room. "Hey c__ __t," they call. "We don't like queers here!" Then started pushing and slapping me around. I was trying to back away but got corned in the motor bay. No one was around and they fair got into me, punching, and a couple of kicks and slapped. No facial injuries but bruising where it wouldn't show. They stopped and told me there'd be more. And there was. It happened a few times more before I learnt to keep away from certain places. By end of August, it was rare if I wasn't abused or called out for something. Our lunchtime group had changed heaps. Jess, Keith, Devon and Em were busy with each other and had stopped playing. New members arrived. The final insult came one day as the teams were picked. Some bastard commented, "Watch out fellas, the queer's here." Someone else shouted, "We don't want arse bandits here, fuck off!" As I wasn't picked, nothing left for me but slink away. I never went back to the field again. None of it made sense to me. I'd never bullied or hurt anyone at school, so why was this happening? I discovered how Darryl must've felt all those years ago at primary, wandering around the school grounds, looking for someone to join up with. Only he wasn't being bullied. Some days, I'd meet up with Keith and Jess, but if Em was around, she'd leap in and drag Keith away. None of them seemed to know why I was getting pinged and that made me feel so alone. For the rest of the term I hid in the library. It was easier. I spent my time playing chess with Darryl and a couple of his friends. School was becoming a miserable and potentially violent place for me. I began bunking off when ever I could. Usually in the afternoons especially if I didn't like the subjects. I learnt quickly to lock my bike up outside the local mall as all bikes were locked in a cage at school and were only accessible at home time. Jess asked me why I was biking. I just said for fitness. Mum questioned me to, but gave her the same bland answer. I had no idea why things had gone so pear shaped. I didn't get any chance to see Keith on weekends. Em saw to that. I'd also scored a weekend part time job at a local garden centre, so my time was limited anyway. I was still going out to the farm, but not as often, as my programme had changed. Keith would ask me what was up when we were together, but what could I say? I never told him about the abuse. Perhaps I should've. The first week of September was the last time I went out to the farm. As I usually did, I used the school bus. Keith was unusually quiet. Dropping our bags on his bedroom floor, I was about to head out and jump on my bike when Keith suggested we do our homework first. WTF, I'm thinking, this is new. "Nah mate, lets fang about on the bikes for a bit," I go. He just shakes his head. Out in the shed, I notice my bike is leaning against the back wall, not where it usually is with the other two. By now, Greg has come in. I say hi. I get a hug. It's been a while since we've seen each other. "What's my bike doing back there?" I ask. "Didn't Keith tell you what happened," Greg goes. "No, what?" I'm going over to see it when Keith walks in. "Sorry Zeb. Jess dinged it." "I spin round, "What? When? How?" "The other weekend. He came out and we went up the farm. I'm real sorry Zeb." Looking at the bike, my beautiful, precious bike, I see it's almost trashed. Bent spokes, flat tyre, broken foot peg, and broken clutch lever. The tank has a massive ding in it and the light is smashed. I guess all of it is fixable, but that's not the point. It was trashed and I was left to find it. Where's the honesty among mates I'm thinking. On any other day, if I hadn't been going through what I was, I may have reacted differently. Instead, to stop my self saying something I'd regret, and also not let them see me bawling my eyes out, I turned around, didn't say a thing and headed down the drive. I was going home! I see out the corner of my eye, Greg looking like thunder at Keith. By now it's about five, still light, but it's getting dark. To avoid being blinded by car lights and be safe, I take the cycle path. It's a straight walk into town, only about twelve or so Kms away. Then it's another twelve up the coast. But I'm not thinking straight. All the shit that's come down of late, clouds my judgement. Off I go. I soon realise how far it is. About an hour later, I reach for my cell, only to realise I've left that in my bag at Keith's. Fuckit I go. Aint going back. On I plod. It's dark. Real dark. But the path is an easy one. I make it to town about two and half hours later. What I don't know is, while I'm heading down the pathway, Greg lets mum know I've done a runner and she's out looking for me and so is Greg. Unfortunately, the cycle way is at the back of farms so you can't see the cycle way from the road. They can't se me. I get through town and now just the coast. It's a really narrow road, just two lanes wide. I think, as the tides out, why not walk along the beach. Not a good idea as I can't be seen on the beach easily. Every now and again I have to climb up the rocks and walk along the road as the rock outcrops block the beach. As I'm climbing up one of these, mum spots me. Thank fuck I'm thinking. I'm absolutely shagged from all this walking. By now it's way after nine. She turns round, stops beside me and I hop in. Oh crap! She is wild! I'm deeply in the shit! Nothing said until we get home. Then off she goes; "Do you know blah, blah, blah! And also blah, blah, blah! Do you know how blah, blah, blah?" I've had enough of everything! "Shut the fuck up mum! I've over all this shit! Just leave me alone, will you!" And I fly up to my room, slamming the door. I throw myself on my bed. I'm tired! I'm angry! I'm pissed off! I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm frightened. I'm confused. I hurt, especially my feet. So I do what all fuckups seem to do, cry my heart out. I feel guilty for feeling sorry for my self. Guilty for upsetting mum and shouting at her. Guilty for upsetting Greg. Guilty about my twin. Guilty about how I feel about my mates. Guilty for all the fucken problems in the whole fucked-up world it seems. Why would Jess do that to my bike? Why would Keith let him? I feel betrayed. Who's spreading shit about me being gay? Only three people should know. What's with Emma? She wants me to fuck her? How's that for showing honesty to your boy friend? And on and on it goes. I'm sick of being pinged at school and getting the bash. Why couldn't I have been straight I'm thinking. Things must be easier. Why wasn't it me who didn't make it at birth? Surely my twin would've made a better fist of living than I have. And then the guilt really got me and I sobbed my heart out. I woke next morning stiff and sore and stinking of sweat. I didn't go to school. When I finally came down, mum was a mess. Looked like she'd been crying all night too. I had no idea how to fix this. But, you can't avoid a problem, no matter how you try. Mum saw to that. "Come here Zeb!" I came. "I don't care how old you think you are, you will never speak to me or any one like that again. Do you understand me?" "Yes mum." "What happened last night?" "My bike was trashed and I got angry." "Is that all?" She goes. "No. Keith's pissed off with me, Em's pissed off with me, and half the school's pissed off with me. Don't ask me why, I don't know. I think I wanna leave. I can now, I'm sixteen." "No way are you leaving school my boy. You will stay and finish your level 2 and do your level 3. Don't even argue about it. You are doing it!" "Then let me go and stay with uncle in Wellington. At least there are better opportunities." If I'd slapped her face I don't think she could've looked more shocked. "I don't want to be at that school or go there ever again mum." "What? What about all your friends? What about Keith?" "They won't give a shit mum. I want to leave. If you want me to be at school for another year, let me go to another one." She could see I was serious. "I'll have to think about it. But you're not leaving school!" I went back to my room. The weekend passed, no txts from Keith. Monday came, Jess had trouble looking at me. Em just gave me the evils. At school I get it right from the get go with Keith. He tells me he's in the shit and has been grounded. Why couldn't I have stayed and talked about fixing the bike. I let him know it wasn't about the bike, and why didn't he tell me. He dumps my bag at my feet and walks away. It was the first time we've ever been angry at each other. Keith and I spent less and less time together. When I did see him, he looked sad. I guess I did too. I certainly felt it. For whatever reason we found it hard to talk to each other, God knows why. Em became more and more bitchy towards me, not un-noticed by Jess and Devon. Darryl was still in with Em, so he gave me a few updates. Anyway, Em's birthday was coming up, two weeks before term end. That would be a chance to catch up and sort things out. Her party was strictly by invitation only. Em's parents were absolute on that. Invites went out, everyone was talking about the upcoming party, but where was mine? I waited and waited thinking it was just an oversight. Meanwhile, I was busy at the garden centre. That kept my mind occupied. Keith txt occasionally so I guess we were talking again, sort of. I didn't enjoy being at school at all, but the approaching term break told us we were on the down slope to summer and end of year. We could smell summer in the air. At least spring anyway. No spring in Keith's eyes. He looked even more down than before. My heart ached for him and I tried to talk to him, but he'd just shrug it off. If Em was around, she would tell me to leave him alone. I couldn't see him at his place, as I wasn't going out there anymore. That was a decision I made after the bike incident. I guess that was a bit churlish. Greg wasn't happy about my decision but I lied and told him I had to have work experience somewhere else. I kept pressuring mum to let me leave and get out of town. Everyone was going on about the coming party. When the topic came up, I just brushed it off saying, "Yeah, it'll be great." Friday came, still no invite. I was too proud to ask why. I wouldn't be there. Monday all hell broke loose. Where were you? Why didn't you come to the party? You really pissed Emma off. She's out for you. That was a stab in the back. You jealous or something? And on and on. Even Jess and Devon were pissed off with me. Finally, all I said was, "It was invite only wasn't it? Well ask Emma why she didn't invite me." I was seen as a back-stabber, that I was jealous of Keith and how could I stab a mate in the back. Abuse after abuse was hurled at me, and still I had no idea why! My last week at school was a nightmare.