Max’s Awakening #28

by craigpnifty@protonmail.com

Author’s notes:

It took us a little longer to get this chapter done than expected.  Apologies… I hope the quality makes up for the wait.  This chapter consists of a lot of small, somewhat random, disjointed events.   While the plot does advance, a lot of this chapter is about character development as well as setting the stage for the final resolution of Max’s current situation.  A few new subplots begin in this chapter as well. 

In the last chapter, Max ended his horrible week on a high note with Spencer spending the night and the two having kinky sex.  Days before, Cam had dumped Max and Craig was enraged when he found out Cam knew that they had sex in Mexico.  Craig and Max eventually reconcile, but not before a couple of emotional outbursts, the last of which occurred in Noah’s garage after they retrieved the incriminating letter to Cam that Noah had offered to deliver.  This chapter begins with Spencer still at Max’s house, after the sleep over.

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Chapter 28

After breakfast, Spencer and I retreated upstairs to play video games until it was time to take him home.  I was still super freaked out by the news report about the man getting busted.  Not only did it scare me, but made me feel awful all over again for being stupid enough to blab to Cam. 

Spencer must have picked-up on my angst.  I had been quiet while mostly watching him play.  “You okay?” he asked.  “You’re acting weird.”

“Huh?” I replied.

“You’ve hardly said a word in like 20 minutes,” he commented, looking at me.

“Sorry man.  I just got a lot on my mind I guess.”

“You’re not mad at me for asking about being boyfriends, are you?”

“Nah.  It’s not that.  It’s other stuff.  Sorry Spence.  You’re good.  Honest.  I’m glad were friends.”

“Me too,” he replied with a smirk.  “You give the best head.  Way better than Ian.”  The thought of Ian sucking Spencer made me laugh.  I knew the two hung out a lot and assumed they were still messing around.  But I knew Ian was only blowing Spencer to get his own dick sucked.  He wasn’t sucking Spencer because he liked to do it and I am sure his attempts are half-assed.  He’s not like me.  He’s 100% straight.  The minute he starts being able to get it from girls, he’ll cut Spencer off.  While that is kind of shitty, it’s not like Spencer doesn’t know that himself. 

Unlike Ian, I enjoy blowing Spencer.  I like to suck dick in general, and Spencer’s uncircumcised dick is cool.  But even though I enjoy playing with Spencer, it still isn’t the same as when I had sex with Cam or Craig.  Like with Eduardo, it’s fun, but it’s just getting off.  There is much more to it than that when I am with guys I love.

I wondered if it could ever be that way with Spencer.  Sex with him is fun, and given his kinky side, it would always be very interesting.  And I like Spencer.  He’s spunky.  But for some reason, he just doesn’t seem like boyfriend material, at least not for me.  I can’t see ever feeling deeply for him like I did for Cam or Craig.  Who knows though?  There was a time I thought Cam was a complete asshole too.  “Maybe if Ian keeps practicing, he’ll get better,” I suggested, returning to the conversation.

“Doubtful.  He’ll never be as good as you.  So, want to fuck me again before I go?” he asked, rubbing his dick through his shorts, and looking at me lustfully.  I don’t know if he was trying to cheer me up, or if he was that horny.  I just sucked him off when we woke up AND I gave him a BJ when we crashed!  I couldn’t believe he was ready to go again.

I wasn’t really in the mood to do anything else.  I was still on edge from the new story.  But I realized I hadn’t been the best host to Spencer.  I ignored him several times while lost in thought.  “I’ve had enough sex for one weekend,” I told him, but I reached over and gave his crotch a nice rub.  I didn’t want him to feel completely rejected.  “Next time you come over I’ll be ready to get more of this.” 

Before he could object or beg me further, mom yelled for us.  It was time to take Spencer home.

***

With Spencer gone, I was soon back home and bored to death.  With Noah away and Cam not talking to me, I didn’t have anyone to make plans with.  Not that I could make plans with Noah anyway, with the whole letter thing still out there.

I was lying on my bed watching TV when I remembered Spencer mentioning Grindr.  I was curious.  I downloaded the app and made an account.  I had to verify my birthday, so I just adjusted the year to appear legal.  I could have rolled it back 4 years to be 18, but that seemed like the obvious thing all underage boys would do, so I made my birth year 2000 instead.  Just like that, I was 19. 

 When I opened the app, it brought up guys who were nearby.  I couldn’t believe how many users were online within five miles.  I had no idea there were that many gay people around.  Unfortunately, many of them were not my type.  Some had too many tattoos and a few looked like they could be crack heads.  I couldn’t imagine getting down with guys that looked that creepy.  But there were some normal looking guys too, mostly older, but a few were younger.

I decided to fill in my profile just to see who would talk to me.  I listed my height and weight, making sure to add a few inches and pounds to seem older.  I don’t think many 19-year-old guys would ever be 5’3 and 115 lbs.  It asked other questions too, like what position you like, what you are looking for, and whether you were out or not.  I chose versatile bottom and indicated I was smooth, not out.  For what I was looking for, after struggling to think of something interesting, I eventually decided to put this:  Love to suck and get fucked.  Like older guys.  I left the profile picture blank.  I knew if I added a picture, they would likely kick me off for being underage.

I left my phone charging while I took a shower.  When I returned, I couldn’t believe I already had four messages.  The first one was from a chubby black guy that didn’t appeal to me at all.  Delete.  The next was from one of the freaky looking guys.  “Hey, let’s fuck.  Got some pics.  We can parTy!  Love young ass.”  Delete.  Block.  I don’t need to talk to him again.  Third message was from a guy who was 67 years old.  Hmm.  I said older, but didn’t mean that old.  Delete.  Last message was from another meth head looking dude.  Delete and block.

I couldn’t see what Spencer saw in Grindr.  So far, I really hadn’t seen anyone I would want to see naked.  I was about to delete the app when another message popped up.  It was from user “Chad7x”.  His profile was pictureless, but it said he was 39.  He was 5’11 and weighed 175 pounds.  His profile indicated he was a professional married guy looking for other “nice guys” to meet on the side.  It also indicated that ‘younger guys are a bonus.’  He was 7 miles away.  “Good morning.  Looks like a new profile.  How’s it going?” 

Okay, well at least this last guy didn’t seem like a loser.  We exchanged greetings.  I told him I just signed up and mentioned how most of the guys seemed gross and I was about to trash the app.  He assured me he wasn’t scary looking and then sent me a picture.  He was right.  He looked very normal.  He had short dark hair, glasses, clean shaven face and looked decent.  He looked like any dad of the kids at the gym.

“Where’s your pic?” he asked.  I told him I wasn’t out yet and didn’t feel comfortable sharing it.  It was just an excuse, of course.  I figured he would tell me to take a hike, but instead he responded with a supportive message.  “Hey man I understand.  You have to do things at your own pace.”  It reminded me of the way Craig talked to me at the New Year’s party.  It gave me a warm feeling.

“Do you want to see more of me?” he asked.  Soon he flooded my Grindr inbox with pictures of himself.  The first was shirtless pic, showing a semi-hairy chest.  He didn’t have Craig’s muscles, but he wasn’t out of shape either.  He had just a hint of a dad-bod.  Next came a picture of him in just his underwear – some white 2xist boxer briefs.  Then came the nudes.  The first one made me drool.  His plump uncut cock hung out over his low hanging balls, a fat cockhead poking through a ring of taut foreskin.  It was like Spencer’s, but longer, fatter, hairier, and HOT as fuck.  According to his profile, it was 7 ½ inches, but it looked longer than that to me, and thick!  Maybe that was because his pubes were cut short.  One thing about his cock that I thought was unique was the way it arched out and downward when he was boned.  It didn’t point up like most erections.  Not that I’ve looked at that many dick pictures, but Chad’s was about as close to perfect as I could imagine. 

I told him he had a nice body and then we chatted some more.  He asked me what I was doing with my life.  I lied and told him I was starting community college in a couple of weeks.  He told me he worked in the travel business.  He asked me what I’d done sexually, adding “are you still a virgin?”  I told him I had a secret boyfriend for a while, so I’d done everything.  “I see you like getting fucked.  You like to be fucked nice and hard?” he asked.  I told him yes.  He told me that was good, because he loved fucking younger guys. 

He eventually asked if I could send him a picture of something, even if I was too shy to show my face.  I decide I could send a picture of my ass.  Nobody could tell for certain I was only 14 just from that.  I slipped off my shorts and underwear and lay on my bed in just a t-shirt and socks.  I took a selfie from over my shoulder, looking back at my ass sticking out from under my t-shirt.  I sent it to him.  He loved it.  He told me it was one of the nicest asses he’d ever seen and he’d love to “slide his hard cock between those smooth mounds.”

I finally saw what Spencer got out of this.  His comments made me horny.  It was fun to talk to guys, even if you don’t plan to ever meet them.  Except, talking with Chad made me miss getting fucked.  It had been two weeks since Craig fucked me in Mexico.  God!  I miss that feeling of a hard dick pushing inside of me.  Fucking Spencer was okay, but I much prefer being on the other end.  I closed my eyes and pictured Chad’s thick cock filling my bottom.  I ground my stiffened cock into the bed as I imagined how a big cock like that might feel. 

Chad ended our conversation.  “Hey thanks for chatting.  Okay if we chat again some time?  I g2g.  My son needs help with something.”  I immediately wondered how old his son was.  He could be the dad of some kid I go to school with.  Weird huh?

“Sure,” I responded.  I didn’t mind talking with him.  I would never meet him, but the chat was fine.  Before I closed the app, I checked out one other message I had gotten while messaging with Chad.  It was from another guy who was a major turn-off.  I deleted the message, logged off, and went to find some lunch.

***

I sent Craig a text that afternoon, just to say hello and ask how he was.  I told him I heard a news story that freaked me out.  He said he saw it too and it sent chills down his spine.  “You understand now?” he asked.

“Yeah.  I’m sorry,” I replied.  I added a sad face emoji just to emphasize how sorry I was.

“I know.  Heard anything from Noah?” he asked.

“Nah. Nothing.”

“You’ll let me know if he says anything, right?”

“Yes.”

“Good deal.  I have to go,” he answered.  I wasn’t sure if he was truly busy or was just cutting me off as part of his ‘we can’t talk too much’ strategy.

“Okay.  I miss you,” I sent quickly, hoping he would see one last message.

He replied with a smiley face emoji.  “Miss you too, bud,” he added.

***

Craig’s mention of Noah prompted me to check his stories.  He posted a few updates since I looked yesterday.  One was him on the lake on a jet ski.  He was shirtless, tanned, and looked good.  Perhaps I’ve gone too long without sex, or maybe the chat with Chad riled me up, but I found myself looking at Noah and thinking he was hot!  I think Noah has always been cute in his own way, but I’ve never thought of him lustfully, even when I’m sucking his fat dick.  But something about this picture made me think of him in a new light.  Maybe it was the way the sun was glistening off his chest, or perhaps the way his wet brown hair framed his green eyes.  I swear it looked as if he slimmed down and toned up.  He has definitely grown taller and slimmer over the summer.  His boyish looks are fading fast – matching his cock, which is long past being a little boy dick.

I wondered if I could convince Noah to fuck me.  After talking with Chad, I wanted a cock filling my ass.  Without Cam or Craig, talking Noah into trying it might be my only realistic option.  I wondered if I sucked him for a while, got him really going and then abruptly stopped, if I could tempt him to fuck me.  Would he be so ready to burst that he might agree to it?  Showing my pink hole would have to be appealing, even to a straight guy, right?  He’s always acted like he would never go that far, but in the heat of the moment, might his defenses be down?

He had two more pictures on his story.  One was a bonfire and then just an hour ago a picture captioned “goodbye Wisconsin.”  He would be home soon.  I wondered how long it would be until he says something about the letter.

I desperately wanted to reach out and see his reaction.  I went as far as typing out a text asking him how the weekend on the lake had been, but deleted it.  What if he responded with something like “good, but nobody fucked me like you in Mexico!” 

Reluctantly, I knew I needed to listen to Craig and let him make the first move.

***

Monday was nerve-racking.  All day I waited for Noah to contact me.  I knew he returned home the night before.  He had to say something to me soon, right?  If not about the letter’s content, then surely at least something about it being gone.  The waiting and lack of communication was driving me crazy. 

Out of boredom, I hopped on Grindr.  I looked around but didn’t see anyone interesting.  I had one message from a 20-year-old who goes to U of M.  He looked like a preppy frat boy.  “hey dude, not many guys our age on here, huh.  Hit me up some time,” his message read.  I saved it.  Maybe I would respond to him at some point. 

  I got off before any creepy guys started messaging me.  I ended up straightening my closet.  Yes, I was that fucking bored.  I found something I had completely forgotten about: Cam’s gifts from Mexico!  The ceramic “Cozumel” sign and Texan’s blanket were in a bag behind the closet door.  I took the ceramic sign out and stared at it.  I remember thinking how much Cam would like it.  It was cool looking and the little heart inside the ‘o’ was a subtle reminder of how much we loved each other.  At least I thought we did.  Seeing it made me sentimental and sad all over again.  I remember now that I hid them after Cam dumped me so my mom wouldn’t find them and ask me why I hadn’t given them to him.  I hadn’t thought about them since.

By 6 pm, I couldn’t take it any longer.  I texted Noah and asked him how the lake trip went.  I got no answer.  An hour passed, then two, and still nothing from him.  To me, it was a sure sign that something was wrong.  He was avoiding me.  I checked his stories – nothing.  I got down and my imagination starting running wild, assuming the worst.  Maybe Noah, having read the letter, didn’t want to be my friend now either. 

Finally, three hours later, he answered.  But it was a god damned one-word reply: “Sweet.”  What the fuck?  That’s it?  Three hours to answer and all he could say was it was sweet?  It was like he was answering, but also blowing me off.  Though, to be honest, Noah has never been one to talk on and on about nothing.  Text and phone conversations with him are almost always short.  In person, he’ll talk your ear off, but he’s different over the phone. 

I was convinced something was wrong and didn’t know how to respond.  I finally asked him if we could hang this week.  “Yeah, sure, maybe like Thursday or Friday,” he replied.  That was 3 days from now!  Now I was sure he was avoiding me!  It is last week of summer vacation and it appears I’ll be spending most of it alone.  I was crushed.  All I could do was reply with an “Okay.”

***

I woke Tuesday in a crappy mood.  I was still put off by the conversation with Noah and was still down about spending the last week of summer at home doing nothing.  This week wasn’t as bad as last week, but it still sucked having summer end on such a downer. 

For the first time in years, I was looking forward to school starting.  I think it might take my mind off other things and would give me something to do.  The bad thing about school beginning is that our regular gymnastic practices will also resume.  I need to figure out what to do.  If I don’t somehow manage to win Cam back, I’m not sure I can keep doing it.  Seeing him 4 days a week would be too painful - and awkward.

***

I had just finished breakfast when I received text message from Joshua.  “What’s up?” he asked.  I gave him the brief rundown on my boring day.  “Can we FaceTime again?” he asked.

I connected and flopped on the couch.  We talked for a few minutes about school and other mindless topics.  Then, out of the blue, Joshua awkwardly announced “Hey, I just took a shower.”

“Okay.  Congrats,” I replied, being a total smartass.  “So?”

He shook his head and rolled his eyes.  “Sooo, I haven’t put on clothes yet!” he said in an excited whisper.  “Just like you.  Wanna see?” 

He was holding his phone close enough to his face that I hadn’t noticed he was shirtless.  I happened to be naked when I talked to him last week and accidentally flashed him in my mirror while showing my room.  I assumed he wanted to return the favor, but also wondered if he might have more in mind.  Given Joshua’s shyness, this is exactly how I imagine he would try to initiate a mutual jerk session over FaceTime.  “Sure,” I shrugged. 

He pushed the phone away from him and I could see he was sitting on a recliner with a blanket over him.  He turned the camera around.  “Remember, I’m not as big as you,” he reminded me before pushing the cover away, revealing his stiff, hairless dick pointing directly to the camera.  His red cock head was half exposed, peering out from his foreskin.

“Wow, you didn’t tell me you were boned, Joshua,” I said.  “And I don’t care how big you are.  I think your dick is cool.  I wish I still had my skin.  What’s got you excited anyway?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged and giggled. 

“I didn’t know I had that effect on you,” I joked.

“You do.  I think you look…um… good,” he replied shyly.  I couldn’t see his face, but I imagined it was turning red from embarrassment.  “Watch, I want to show you something.”  He started stroking his dick.  He was giving it long strokes and pulling the foreskin down, causing his head to come completely free on each down stroke.  In Mexico, his foreskin seemed too tight to do that.  “See, it’s not tight anymore,” he added as he began to breath faster between subtle moans.

“Awesome!  You, um, must be doing that a lot,” I replied.

“Uh huh,” he agreed as he kept working his stiffie.  It was cute watching him jerk off.  It was hard to believe he was the same age as Spencer.  Physically, he is only a bit smaller than Spencer, but he is so much more innocent and sheltered.  Spencer probably knows more about gay sex than I do and here’s Josh just learning to jack off.  The more he worked it, the more he moaned.  His hips started arching up.  Watching him drive toward orgasm was starting to arouse me.

“That’s hot Joshua.  You’re really getting into it, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.  You really like watching me?” he asked hesitantly, as if he was surprised I would be interested in seeing him beat off.

“Yeah, duh.  I am gay remember.  And I think uncut ones like yours are cool.  I love watching your foreskin slide up and down over your shiny pink head!”  I was trying to give him some confidence, though it was true.  I truly did enjoy watching his skin slide back and forth.

“Really?  Did I give….um…give you …a….you know…. boner?” he asked.

“You tell me,” I answered as I pulled my underwear down over my hard cock, showing it to him. 

“Geez!  Yours is so big!” he exclaimed. 

“Not really,” I answered.  “Yours will grow,” I told him as I gave my own dick a few strokes. 

“Max, can I ask you something kind of … um … personal?” Josh said, sounding nervous.  This seemed like an odd question, considering we were both naked and jerking off. 

“Sure,” I responded.  I was curious what could be more personal than what we’ve already done. 

“When you showed me your butt before, it made me kind of horny and I remembered you talking about your boyfriend,” he began.  Mentioning my ‘boyfriend’ stung.  I hadn’t told him I was dumped, but before I could say anything, he continued.  “I’ve seen some stuff online about guys having sex with each other.  Have you ever...you know, put things in your butt?  Does your boyfriend do it to you like that?”  I love how he can’t even say ‘fuck’ or ‘ass’.  It’s adorable.

He seemed embarrassed but also mesmerized by the thought.  I couldn’t help but laugh.  He’s ‘seen’ some ‘stuff’ online?  The kid can’t even admit he’s been watching gay porn.  “Oh yeah.  I love getting fucked.  It feels really good to have something, or someone, in your hole,” I replied, grinning.  Josh was rapt with attention.

“But doesn’t it hurt?  Isn’t it kind of, uh, gross?” he asked. 

It was obvious this wasn’t the first time he’s thought about putting something up his butt.  It has clearly been on his mind ever since he ‘saw some stuff’ online.  I couldn’t help but remember how scared and dirty I thought it was at first too, and Craig and Cam telling me to relax.

“I thought the same thing initially, but honestly, I’ve never had issues with that.  I mean it’s not something you do when you know you need to take a dump.  It can hurt a little at first, which is why you need to relax, go slow, and use lots of lube, but then it feels good.  Like, really effing good, like you’re cumming constantly from the inside as it presses this little thing inside your butt called a prostate,” I told him confidently.  Who knew I would become an ass expert in just a few months?  It was fun speaking authoritatively about sex stuff with a younger boy.  I would have been a cool big brother.

“They taught us about that in health.  Isn’t that the thing that stores your semen or something?  It’s where old guys get cancer too, right?  They never said it would feel good to play with it, though.”

“Yeah,” I laughed.  “They always leave out the good parts.”

“I’ve been wondering how it would feel but was kind of scared to try, like if I hurt myself on accident and how I would explain that to my moms,” he said, sounding unsure.  Then it was like a light flip switched, and his eyes flared with excitement.  “The guys in the videos always seem to really enjoy it.  I just wish I knew how to try it,” he added. 

It was clear by the way he asked he was practically begging me to demonstrate.  Suddenly, it occurred to me I was being schemed.  The little shit planned this all out!  He wanted me to teach him how but was too unsure to straight-up ask.  But, I didn’t mind.  He is pretty clueless and innocent, and doesn’t have anyone else to talk with. Plus, butt stuff is fun and I’ve missed that awesome feeling, and it’s cool to help another guy discover how good it can feel.  For some reason, I felt having started him down his path of self-pleasure, it was my job to continue to be his teacher.  “Yeah, I think you are ready for your next lesson.”

“Next lesson?” he asked.  I wasn’t sure if he was truly confused or pretending, not wanting me to realize this is what he intended all along.

“Well, did you know it feels even better when you jerk off if you finger your butt while you do it?”

“You can show me?” he asked nervously.

“You ARE home alone, right?” I asked.  I figured he was since he was sitting around naked, but I thought I better make sure.  I didn’t need a mom surprise.

“Yeah, duh!” he answered. 

“Okay.  I’m going to go up to my room, hold on.”  I walked up to my room and found my tube of lube and showed it to Joshua.  “You got to have something that’s slick.  This is real lube, but Vaseline works, or even lotion will do.  Do you have anything like that?”

“Yeah, just a second,” he replied as he went into a bathroom.  He found an old jar of Vaseline, the lid covered in dust.

“Just watch me,” I instructed.  I took a towel from my laundry and placed it on the floor.  I rested the camera against the wall and spread my legs in front of it to give Joshua a good view.  I squirted some lube onto my hand and rubbed it around my hole.  I inserted a finger.  Oh, damn it felt good to have something in my ass again, even if it was just a finger.  I pressed it deep as I jerked my dick.  I checked my phone and Joshua was staring, entranced.  “Now you try,” I instructed.

He had retreated to his own room and was soon on his back on his bedroom floor.  He scooped out a big wad of Vaseline with his finger.  It was more than he needed – a total rookie mistake.  But I didn’t say anything, he’ll figure it out on his own.  He smeared the glob of grease all over his tight pink sphincter.  I can’t even describe just how delicious his hole looked.  It surprised me that I found it so appealing.  Craig’s, being hairy never had that much appeal, but even Cam’s didn’t leave me as awestruck as Joshua’s.  There was something about his pucker that made it unique.  It was perfectly smooth, clean, and pink.  It looked inviting.  I would bury my face between his pasty white cheeks and lick that pucker for hours!  “Now SLOWLY push a finger in,” I instructed.

I watched as his middle finger slowly slipped inside.  His ass was just inches from his phone, so I could see the tight ring clamp down on his digit.  He gasped and moaned as his finger pushed in.  “Oh my god Max!  This feels nice.” 

“Now work it in and out as you play with your dick.  It’s amazing,” I rolled over onto my stomach so I could comfortably watch him pleasure himself.  His finger worked in and out as his other hand squeezed and jerked his rod madly.  “Slow down dude.  Make it last.  You’ll cum way harder that way.” I told him.  “Try reaching in as far as you can and pushing up towards your dick.  That’s where your prostate is.  If you can find it and rub it, it feels amazing.”

I watched as he clearly probed around, trying the find the magic button.  Watching him work his ass was getting me more aroused than I would have expected.  I moved my hips and rubbed my cock against the floor.  “I don’t think I have one,” he commented after several moments of exploration.

 “All guys have one.  Maybe your finger just isn’t long enough.  Forget about that for now.  If you think your hole is used to one finger, try two.”

I watched as he pulled out his one greasy finger and then added a second.  As he pushed two fingers in, I could tell it hurt.  He stopped just inside and grimaced.  “Easy.  Let your hole get used to it for a second, then continue.”  He did as I instructed and soon two fingers were buried in his tight little boy hole.  “Do you like it?” I asked.

“Yes.  Does it feel the same when you… you know… get um … have another boy inside you?”  I love how he still can’t say ‘fucked’.

“No that feels even better.  A LOT better!  A dick goes deeper and feels amazing.  Plus, you don’t have to do any of the work.  And there’s something about being intimate with someone you really like.  And they can kiss you or rub your nipples while they do it.  It’s the best!”

“I wish you were here Max.  I’d let you do it to me,” he moaned.

“Hot man.  I wish I was there too.”  I couldn’t resist the urge to talk dirty to Josh.  “I’d bury my big dick in you nice and deep.  I’d be sure to find your prostate.  You’d come so hard you’d never forget it.  You have such a sweet ass Joshua.  It was just made to take a hard dick.”

“Oh gawd,” he gasped as he tugged at his boy dick even faster.

“I’d shoot my cum deep inside you.  You’d feel my hot jizz filling you up.  Then I’d watch it drip back out.”

“Yes!  Oh god!” he moaned.

“Do you have anything bigger you can use for a dildo?  Something not too big?  Maybe you can feel what It’s really like.”

He removed his greasy fingers and wiped them on a towel.  He started searching around his room.  “What about this?” he asked, holding up a Harry Potter magic wand.

“Too pointy,” I replied.

He rummaged around a toy box and pulled out a huge light saber.  It was at least 3’ long.  “What about this.  It’s bigger than your weiner even.”

“A little too big,” I answered, though I knew he was joking.

“Hey I know,” he said, moving to his desk.  “What about this?  It’s smaller.” he asked.  He was holding up a miniature light saber.  “It used to have M&Ms in it.” 

“That’s perfect,” I answered.  “That’s about the same size as my hard dick.  And the wide base will keep it from slipping inside and getting lost.  You can fuck yourself with it and just imagine it is my dick.”  I talked him through lubing up the saber and kneeling just above it, slowly lowering himself down onto it.  He got most of it in and start riding up and down, letting the plastic saber impale him.  “Yeah bud, keep doing that and now jerk your dick,” I instructed.  “You’ll cum so hard.”

He started rocking up and down as he flogged his hard dick.  It was quite a scene to watch.  He was grunting and moaning as his hips gyrated up and down.  His little nipples even hardened.  His head was thrown back and his eyes closed, as he focused on maximizing his pleasure.  He was possessed.

  It didn’t take long before he shuddered and his hips jerked several times.  He stopped jerking his dick and it hung in mid-air twitching.  "Holy cow, that was the best ever!” he exclaimed.  “That was pushing on something inside that made everything tingle!”

“Ah,” I answered.  “You found your prostate then.”

I could see him looking down at his dick, confused.  He wiped a drop of fluid from the tip of his penis.  “What’s that?  Did I pee?” he asked, pressing his finger towards me.

“That looks like precum.  It’s what your body makes when you are super horny.  I get that whenever I’m horny for a long time, or when I do butt stuff.  It tastes sweet.  Try it!”

He looked at me apprehensively, before slowly raising his finger towards his mouth.  He stopped just short.  “Go ahead.  It won’t hurt you,” I encouraged him.  He stuck his tongue out and managed to just barely touch the tip to his finger.  You could tell by the look on his face that he expected it to be gross.  But he quickly smiled and took his whole finger into his mouth.

“You’re right.  That does taste good!”  He slowly let the saber slide from his butt and the he picked his phone back up.  “Now your turn.  Do you have something you use like that?” he asked.

“Yeah, a hair brush handle,” I replied.  “I’ll show you sometime.”

“Not now?”  he asked.  I thought maybe having orgasmed, he might have lost interest.  “Are you gonna get off?  I wanna see you shoot that stuff again.”

I’m not quite sure why, but I didn’t feel like using the trusty hairbrush.  What I wanted was a real cock in my ass again.  Teasing my hole with the brush handle would just make me miss it even more.  I decide to put on a different kind of show for him, one which would teach him another new possibility.

I put the phone behind me and flipped my feet back over my head so that my cock hovered just over my face.  “Can you see?” I asked. 

“Yeah.  What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to cum in my mouth for you Josh.”

“Really?!  Sweet!  Okay!” he answered.

I started jerking my cock.  I closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like fucking Josh.  His hole looked so damn tight.  It would have to feel amazing.  Soon my orgasm was building and I did nothing to stop it.  “Here it comes.  Watch,” I told him and then opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue.  A bolt of hot jizz shot from my cock and splayed across my upper lip and into my mouth.  I licked at the creamy load as another spurt landed on my cheek.  I squeezed the last drips of my seed directly into my mouth before unrolling and flipping back around.

Joshua was stunned.  “Woooow,” he mouthed in a whisper.  “That was awesome.  What does it taste like anyway?”

“Glad you liked it,” I replied, wiping the smear of cum off my cheek and putting it up to the phone to give him a good look.  “It has a unique taste.  It’s kind of salty and a little bit sweet.  And it’s warm.  That was the thing that surprised me the first time I got it in my mouth.”

“I can’t wait until I can do that!” he exclaimed.  “It’s so cool.”

“Hey, I better take a shower and get cleaned up,” I told him.  The cum was drying on my cheek and beginning to feel funny.

“Okay,” he replied, frowning in disappointment.  “Can we, um… do something like this again?  Watching you is way more awesome than…  watching other stuff.”  I love that he still can’t admit to watching porn.

“Sure,” I replied.  “You’ve been an attentive pupil.  You get an A for today’s class young man,” I added, causing him to laugh.  “Until next time, your homework is to have fun on your own.  Just nothing too big or sharp up your butt okay.  And make sure it isn’t something that can get stuck up there.”

“I won’t Mr. Coleman,” he replied cheekily.  “I’d pay a lot better attention in real school if the lessons were this fun.  See ya later Max,” he added, smiling.  I hung up.  I might be having a shitty week, but I knew I had just probably made his day, or maybe his month.  I love watching his confidence build, knowing I played a part.  That made me feel a little better.  I wondered if it was a little bit how Craig felt giving advice to Cam and me.  I just hoped he didn’t have any regrets and felt dirty about what we did.  And as a side benefit, that session with Joshua also killed one hour of my boring day.

***

On Wednesday I finally went back to the gym.  My ankle was no longer sore after aggravating it walking home from Cam’s.  Mom dropped me off on the way to work and Ian’s mom took me home.  Spencer was there too of course.  Ian and Spencer almost always go to the gym together. 

Ian asked me about Cam.  “How’s your boyfriend?  I haven’t seen him in a while.” he asked while we were taking a break.  At first, I thought Spencer must have told him we broke up and Ian was being a smartass, but that wasn’t correct. 

“Fine,” I replied, not wanting to get into any of it with Ian.  I didn’t mind telling Spencer, but Ian was too likely to say something stupid.

“Don’t you normally come with him in the afternoons?” he asked.

“Um, yeah, but I wanted to have my afternoons free, so I am coming early this week,” I lied.  The truth was that I was avoiding Cam by coming in the mornings.  Ian bought it.  I don’t think Ian was trying to be a jerk.  He was just trying to make conversation. 

I texted Spencer after I got home and asked him if he told Ian about Cam and I breaking up.  I realized I should have made him promise to keep it a secret.  Thankfully, Spencer was smart enough to figure that out on his own.  “Nope.  I won’t either,” he replied.  Rock on, Spencer. 

***

When I got home, I showered and grabbed lunch.  While I ate, I opened Grindr and found I had another message from Chad.  “Hey, how’s it going?  Having a good week?” he asked.  He’s at least pleasant.

“Yeah, not bad,” I replied.

“I’m working from home today,” he answered.  “Watching porn mostly, lol.”

“LOL.  Nice.  Your son isn’t around?” I replied. 

“Nah.  He’s with a friend.”

“How old is he anyway?” I asked.  I had to know if it was possible I knew this kid.

“11.  Why?  Not into little boys are you lol?”

“No.  Just curious.  Sorry.”

“No worries,” he replied.  “I was just kidding you.  Damn this porn is making me horny,” he answered, attaching a picture of his erection.  “How about you?  Are you behaving?”

“lol yeah,” I answered.  I thought about sending him a picture of my dick, but I didn’t.

“Ah darn.  I was hoping you might need a spanking.” 

“No, I’m being good.”

“Aww.  Ever been spanked?  Do you think you’d like that?”

“Maybe by my dad when I was 8,” I answered.  “But not since then.”

“Would you like that?  Being spanked by a hot daddy like me?  I’d love getting those cheeks nice and red and then giving you a hard fucking.”

“Not sure,” I answered.  I’d never given any thought to being spanked as part of having sex.  I immediately thought of Spencer.  This guy would be just his type, if he wasn’t old enough to be Spencer’s dad.  “Sorry I got to go,” I told him.  The conversation was getting a little weird and I wanted to cut it off. 

***

When I got out of the shower, I had a text from Joshua.  “Hey,” was all it said.

“Hi.  What’s up?” I replied.

“Can I call you?” he asked.  I put on some underwear and told him to call me whenever. 

When I saw he opted for FaceTime, I wondered if he wanted to have a reprise of our session yesterday.  I wasn’t feeling horny, and two days in a row was probably more than I was up for.  But when his video loaded, he was fully clothed.  “Hey there,” I said as I grabbed a t-shirt to put on.  I didn’t want my nakedness to give him the impression that I was horny.

“Hi Max.  I gotta ask you something,” he said with a sense of urgency.

“Yeah okay.  What is it?”

“You know what I did yesterday?  With the light saber toy?” he asked.

“Yeah.  You’re not feeling weird or guilty about doing that or anything like that are you?  Some guys feel guilty about stuff after they orgasm.” 

“No, I’m cool with it.  I did it again this morning.  Twice.”

“You did?  Twice?”

“Yeah.  It was awesome, again.  Well not as fun as having you watch, but it felt awesome.  I really figured out how to massage that prostrate thing.  It felt so amazing, I did it again.”

“Oh yeah, cool isn’t it?”

“Yeah.  But I got a question.  I had to go number two a minute ago and it kinda burned.  Am I doing it wrong or something?  I’m okay, right?”

I laughed.  “Yeah Joshua, you’re fine.  I mean there wasn’t any blood or anything like that, right?”

“No, nothing like that.”

“Well don’t sweat it.  It always feels funny after playing with your butt.  If it’s getting sore, try taking a hot bath.  And maybe give it a break okay?  Your hole isn’t used to two-way traffic.”

“Okay, I will.  Thanks,” he replied, flashing a smile now that his worry was eased.

“No problem.  Hey can I ask you something?”

“Yeah sure.”

“You don’t plan on blabbing to your moms about this new hobby of yours, right?”

“Heck no!  Do I look that stupid?  They’d freak out.  They still think I’m a little kid.”

“Okay, good.  Some kids tell their parents everything and I didn’t want them mad at me for corrupting you.”

“Don’t worry, I only do that kind of stuff when they are gone.”

“Cool.  You might try to get yourself some real lube.  They have it at drug stores, or even Target.  It will be by the condoms.  It will work better than Vaseline.  Maybe you wouldn’t be as sore.”

“Is it very expensive?  We have a Wal-Mart and a Fry’s a few blocks away.  But I’m not sure I could buy something like that.  The checkout lady would know what it is for.”

“That’s why you use the self-checkout,” I suggested.  “Pick up a bag of chips or something to hide it until you get to the scanner if you are embarrassed.  That’s what I do.  But really, Vaseline is fine too.  It just leaves behind grease, so be careful what you get it on.  And don’t use so much.  You’ll need to ration it if it is all you have.”

“Great idea.  That’s really smart.  I would never think of that.  I better go, I have chores to finish before mom gets home.”

“Later.” I hung up and smiled.  I really liked having someone look up to me the way Joshua does.  It’s very cool.  It rekindled that whole fantasy of being a big brother.  I’d love that.  It did make me feel guilty for lusting after his hole yesterday though.

***

By late in the day, I had become discouraged again.  Noah hadn’t contacted me at all yesterday and again, so far today I had heard nothing.  I wasn’t sure how long I should wait before trying to contact him again.  If I didn’t hear from him tomorrow, I decided I would talk to Craig and see what he thinks I should do.

***

I stayed up late Netflix binging this amazing show called Money Heist.  Someone had recommended it to mom, mentioning I would enjoy it also.  I remember rolling my eyes when she told me about it, thinking the show would be stupid, especially since it was foreign.  But holy shit, the show is lit!  It helped me escape my current worries.  It’s a Spanish TV series and the original title is Casa de Papel (House of Paper).  It’s dubbed over in English.  It’s about a group of clever thieves who try to rob the Royal Mint of Spain.  I was up until almost 2:00 watching before I finally made myself go to bed.

Since I stayed up late, I slept in as well.  It was almost 11 before I stirred.  I grabbed my phone and saw I had a text from Noah.  “Hey, you up?” he texted me almost two hours ago.  “I really need to talk with you.  Can I come over?” he followed up.  Finally, about 15 minutes ago he had texted me one more time: “Maaaaaaaaaaaxx!”

“Hey sorry, I slept in.  What’s up?” I replied.

“Jackson’s bringing me by.  I’ll tell you when I get there.”

***

I was a nervous wreck waiting for Noah to arrive.  I could tell from his text messages he had something important to discuss.  I wasn’t sure what he wanted to talk about, though I had some guesses.  He might confront me about having sex with Craig in Mexico.  Maybe he just wants to tell me he lost the letter.  Or, maybe he is coming over to dump me as a friend.  The most likely of those was the first, so I thought about how I could explain what happened without making Craig look evil or me seem twisted.  It wouldn’t be easy. 

I heard a car door and jumped up from the couch.  I met Noah at the door and watched Jackson back out of the driveway.  It was a good sign that Jackson was leaving.  If Noah was just going to tell me off and that he didn’t want to be my friend any more, he would have told Jackson to wait for him.

“Hey,” he said hesitantly, looking down, as he came inside.  Oh boy, I could tell by the way he was acting this was going to suck and be uncomfortable.

“Want something to drink?” I asked.

“No,” he answered quickly.  “Well maybe some water,” he added, speaking rapidly.  He sat at the end of table.  I could tell he was uneasy. 

I grabbed two water bottles and sat down next to him.  I took a big drink.  We weren’t even talking yet and I was already starting to get emotional.  “So,” I said, adding a sigh.

“Jesus Max, I don’t even know where to start,” he replied, shifting in his seat as he fidgeted with his bottle cap.  “I have so much to tell.  I hung out with Cam yesterday,” he said nervously.

“Oh?  How did it go?”

“Hanging out was fine.  But as far as talking to him about you?  I tried, but it didn’t go very well.  Listen, I have to tell you something else first.  It’s about your letter,” he continued.

“Yeah, what about it?” I replied, playing dumb.

“The one you wrote Cam,” he continued sheepishly.  He shifted around in his chair.  He nervously chewed on the collar of his t-shirt.  He used to do that a lot when he was younger and was nervous or upset.  But I hadn’t seen him do it in years.  I knew he was working up the courage to tell me the letter was missing.

“Yeah?” I asked. 

“I didn’t take it to him.  I couldn’t because I lost it,” he finally managed to say. 

I swallowed.  I felt guilty.  I could tell he thought he had let me down.  “Really?”

“Yeah.  I can’t figure it out.  When Jackson took me home the day you gave it to me, we stopped a couple places to grab some stuff for our trip.  When I took it out of my pocket, it had started to come unsealed, so I taped it up.  I didn’t want Cam to think I’d read it when I took it to him.  I put it away in a drawer.  But now, it’s like it disappeared,” he said, looking perplexed.  “I can’t find it anywhere!” 

“Disappeared?” I repeated.  “You didn’t read it?” I asked.

“No, of course not.  Would you really think I’d do that?” I shook my head.  I immediately felt sick to my stomach.  I assumed the worst about my most trusted friend.  I didn’t even consider there might another explanation for the tape.  Neither did Craig.  I felt so guilty jumping to conclusions.  I wanted to admit to him right then that I came and took it, but I knew I’d have to tell him why it was necessary.  Instead, I let him continue.

“So, I went to see Cam anyway.  Yesterday.  I figured I could tell him how upset you were and try to talk him into at least talking to you.  I told him you had written a letter but I lost it.”

“And?”

“Maybe the letter would have helped.  I’m not a good salesman.  Sorry, I tried, but he’s still mad and upset.  He still doesn’t want to talk to you.  Of course, I’m not sure I can blame him,” he added glancing up at me.

“You mean he told you why he dumped me?”

“Yeah, he did,” he said solemnly.  “That was hard to even believe.  I don’t even know what to say.”

“What did he tell you?” I demanded, my voice rising.  I needed to know if Noah knew everything or not.

“You know.  That you and Craig, in Mexico, did,” he replied, indicating fucking by making a circle with one hand and poking a finger from the other in and out.  Oh Jesus, he knew.  He really knew.  It was even worse that he heard it from Cam.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, trying to act surprised.  I knew Craig would want me to deny it.

“Cam said you had sex with Craig in Mexico.  A lot,” he replied, struggling to get the words out.  I could tell he was embarrassed at having to spell it out for me.  He resorted to hand gestures before, but because I made him say it aloud, his face was turning red.  “He said you even fucked.  Is it true?”

“No!” I replied, trying still to lie.  “Cam’s just making shit up,” I added, as my eyes began to water.

Noah stared at me.  I looked away.  He didn’t say anything for several seconds.  “Max, how long have we been friends?” he finally asked.

“I don’t know.  Since we were 2.  Why?”

“Right.  12 years.  You think I can’t tell when you’re lying?  C’mon man.” 

I put my head down on the table in shame and started weeping.  Noah said the same thing about me as Craig – that I am a horrible liar.  Why do I even try?  I didn’t know what to say to him.  He scooted his chair towards me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.  “It’s okay Max.  It’s not your fault.  It’s not.”

“You don’t understand,” I sobbed.  “It’s ALL my fault.”

“What is?  What is your fault?” he pleaded.

“Everything.  I screw up everything.”

“Talk to me Max.  You’ve always told me everything.  I want to know what happened.  I want to understand.”  I slowly composed myself.  I sat up and took a swig of water and dried my face. 

“It’s true,” I admitted.

“Okay,” he responded.  “What happened?”

“I started it.  It was me.  Don’t be mad at Craig, please.”

“Okaaay,” he said hesitantly.  “You mean you started the sex?”

I nodded.  “I woke him up one morning by sucking his dick.  You know I like to do that, right?”

“Yeah, I guess I do,” he replied, with a slight laugh.  “But I didn’t know you’d like sucking an old guy like that.”

I shrugged.  “A dick is a dick.  Well sorta.  I’m not sure what came over me.  I was horny.  He was totally hammered the night before.  He came back to the room and showered and stumbled into bed naked.  It was kind of funny, seeing him drunk as a skunk.  When I woke up, I looked under the covers and his dick was there, staring at me.  He told me a few months ago that when he was a teenager he did stuff with friends, you know, just like us.  He said he liked it and sort of missed it.  I thought he would like a BJ.  I know this sounds weird, but he’s done so much for me, I wanted to thank him.  I didn’t think he would mind.”

“I guess he didn’t then?  Since you did… the other thing too?”

“Actually, at first he was angry.  Very angry.  It’s hard to explain.  But he calmed down and I somehow talked him into sucking me.  I don’t even remember how it all happened now.  Then I just kept asking him to do more.  It all just kinda happened.  But it was ONLY because I wanted it to.”

“You liked it then?” he asked, surprised.

“Yes.  Well, no.  I loved it.  It felt right Noah.  It felt so right.”

“Really?  With a grown up though?” he asked, making a disgusted face.  Clearly, just the thought of having sex with a grown man repulsed him.  “Doesn’t it hurt?” he asked.  He sat up in his chair and clenched his ass cheeks together.  I guess just thinking about having a man-sized cock pushed inside him made him instinctively clench.

“It feels weird at first, but after a few seconds it feels amazing,” I replied.  He looked at me confused.  “Really, it does,” I added, though he looked unconvinced.  “I couldn’t do it with just any adult.  But Craig is decent looking and he’s cool.” 

He continued to look at me in disbelief.  I needed to make it more relatable for him.  “You don’t think there are guys at school that would get it on with grown women?  Hell, remember last year when everyone was drooling over how hot Ms. Jenkins was at the beginning of the year?  Or how everyone was talking about how Megan Cassidy’s mom was as hot as she was?  Do you really think there aren’t some of our friends that would gladly bang either of them if they had the chance?  You straight guys are all bout MILFs.  Why can’t I be into a DILF?” I asked.  I wasn’t even sure if ‘DILF’ was a real term.  “Would you think it was that weird if they came to school bragging about bagging a hot woman?”

“No, I guess not.  You’re right.  I would kind of get it if it were a hot mom or something.”

“Craig is one of the best things to ever happen to me.  I love him so much,” I continued, staring at Noah with conviction.  Professing how much Craig has meant to me made me emotional and a tear ran down my cheek.  I wiped it off before continuing.  “It didn’t seem like just sex.  There was more to it.  I can’t explain it.  But if you’re thinking it was some horrible experience for me, it wasn’t like that at all.”

“Yeah.  I kind of figured it was like that.  One of the things I told Cam was that I didn’t think there was any way someone, even a strong man, could make you do something.  You’re way too fucking stubborn, and strong yourself.”

“He didn’t make me.  I promise.  I’m just an idiot for telling Cam.  Now Craig is mad at me.  I should have just kept my mouth shut.”

“I don’t know.  I don’t think you can hide things that important from a boyfriend.  Cam said he was really bothered that you waited two weeks to tell him about it.”

“He’s right.  I fucked up.  I’ve been fucking up a lot lately.  I’ve even fucked up with you,” I added.

“Huh?” he asked, confused.

I took a deep breath.  “I have a confession.  You’re not crazy.  You didn’t lose the letter.  Craig and I came to your house and destroyed it.”

“What?  Why the hell would you do that?” he yelled.

“Craig was freaking out.  About Cam knowing what we did and word getting out.  He’s really scared.  He was afraid I put something in the letter that would incriminate him.  It was his idea.  He was getting your mail anyway, so we found the letter too.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?  Do you know how long I looked for that damn thing?” he replied, getting angry.  “When you texted me on Monday, I had forgotten all about it after being at the lake.  I assumed you were going to ask me about going to see Cam and when I couldn’t find the letter, I was going nuts thinking I let my best friend down.  But now I hear you came and took it and didn’t even tell me?  What the fuck, Max?”

“I told you I’ve been fucking up a lot lately.  I’m sorry Noah.  I’m haven’t been thinking very clearly ever since Cam dumped me.  But when we saw the tape on the letter, we both assumed you read it.  And it spelled out that Craig and I did stuff.  I didn’t know what to do.”

“Gee thanks.  Thanks for having faith in your best friend.  Un fucking real,” he replied, clearly disgusted with me.

“I’m sorry Noah,” I said.  “Please forgive me.  Please,” I begged.  He stared at me without saying anything.  “Please.  You’re the only good friend I have left,” I continued as tears formed.  “I’ve lost Cam.  Craig doesn’t want to spend time with me right now.  My dad’s in prison and my mom’s goes out drinking all the time.  Please!  I need you.  I’m trying to be honest now, about everything.  I’ll tell you everything.  I swear.”  I almost admitted I sucked Jackson, just to make him realize I was serious, but I stopped myself.

He was quiet a long time.  I just knew he was going to tell me to get lost.  I put my head back down on the table, expecting the worst.  He finally took a deep breath.  “Okay.  Okay,” he said, rubbing my shoulder.  “I forgive you about the letter.  I kind of get how the tape could have looked.”

I looked up at him, happy but surprised.  “Thanks,” I told him, wiping my eyes. 

“But what’s next?”

“I dunno.  I just wish Mexico never happened.  Everything was perfect then.  I thought it was going to be the best trip ever.  And it was, kind of.  But it changed everything.  I just want to put everything back like it was before I left.”

“Well that seems unlikely.  Maybe Cam will come around if you give him a little more time.  Maybe you can write him another letter?”

“I think I’m done with letters.  I’d rather beg him in person.  You think you can try talking to him again?  Tell him how sorry I am?  And beg him to not rat out on Craig.  Honest, Noah, if Craig gets in trouble because of me, I won’t be able to live with myself.”

“I think you might be okay there.”

“Huh?  What?”

“That’s the other thing I was going to ask you about.  Did you hear about the teacher at Cam’s school getting busted for having sex with a student?”

“What?  No?”

“Yeah, his math teacher from last year was doing computer camps over the summer and got caught diddling one of Cam’s classmates.”  That story from over the weekend!  I wished I had done more reading on it.  I would have realized it was Cam’s prestigious private school.  “Anyway, somehow everyone figured out who he was molesting.  It’s some quiet, nerdy kid.  Cam said his friends have been talking about it all over snapchat and have been absolutely brutal to him.  I guess he was always the teacher’s pet and he’s getting killed.  People are joking about him a being a little faggot and accusing him of seducing the teacher.  It’s stupid.”

“Are they just talking about him behind his back?  Or does he know?”

“That’s the worst part.  Some kids are sending him nasty messages.  Someone even created a hate page about him on Instagram.  I guess the teacher was really popular, so everyone is bagging on the kid for getting him fired.  It’s really bad.”

“Wow, that’s horrible.  Please tell me Cam isn’t being one of the jerks.”  I didn’t think he would do something like that, but then again, he was quite the asshole at the gym when he first moved here.

“Dude, c’mon.  You know him better than that.  He told them all to fuck off and stop being stupid.  He said he reached out to the kid.  He didn’t really know Sebastian that well – that’s the kid’s name, Sebastian.  Anyway, he said he reached out to him and is trying to have his back.  They’ve been talking some I guess.”  On one hand that made me happy, sticking up for Sebastian is what I would have done and what I would have expected Cam to do.  It made me want him back even more.  But it worried me, too.  What if this kid IS gay and they end up getting together?  Cam will forget all about me!

“Yeah, you’re right.  That’s what I would have done too.”

“So anyway, Cam said he didn’t want you to deal with that kind of bullshit.”

“What?  Really?  He said that?” I asked. 

“Yup.  And that’s why I think you shouldn’t give up on him yet.  He clearly still cares about you.”

“Wow, that like the best thing I’ve heard in ages.  We, I mean me and Craig, we were sure he would tell everyone.”

“I don’t think so.  I asked him not to, at least not until I talked to you.  I couldn’t figure out why you would WANT to do that with Craig, but like I told you already, I didn’t think there was any way he could have made you.  You’ve never let anyone push you around, even if they were twice your size.  Remember in 4^th grade when Brady Jacobs tried to make you lick his armpit on the playground?  He thought he could push you around because you were so little, but you dropped him to the ground before he even knew what hit him.”

“Yeah.  That was hilarious.  And I didn’t even get in trouble,” I replied.  I remember that day well.  It was a great moment, especially when they let me off because some of other ‘good kids’ backed me up.  Brady hasn’t said 10 words to me since.  He’s still huge, but he doesn’t act nearly as tough.  Everyone figured out it was all an act.

“So, I didn’t figure anything happened in Mexico unless you wanted it to.  I also told him I didn’t want anything to happen to Craig either.”

“You stood up for Craig?  Really?”

“Of course.  Dude, Craig has been like a second dad to me.  You’ve known him what, like eight months?  I’ve known him my whole life.  He’s never done anything to hurt me and he’s taken us all over the place and to do things our parents never would have.  As I thought about it, he’s had lot of chances to try things with me, or Jackson, and never has.  He’s been nothing but cool to us from the time we were tiny.  It would fuck with his family.  Emma and Rachel are like our sisters.  They would be devastated.  Don’t get me wrong, if you told me he forced you into it or something like that, I’m not sure what I would do.  That would be different.  But if you really swear you wanted to do it, what would be the point?”

“I swear Noah.  That’s the truth.  Everything we did I wanted to do.  And it was always me who asked to do it.”

“I know.  I believed you the first time you said it.  I can tell when you lie, remember?” he replied, smirking.

“Yeah.  Craig says I suck at it too.”

“You do.  You really, really do,” he teased me, ruffling my hair as he laughed. 

“So, what now?”

“I told Cam I would get back with him.  I made him promise to keep his mouth shut for now.”

I remembered the presents from Mexico.  “Hold on,” I told Noah.  “Be right back.”  I ran upstairs and grabbed the souvenirs.  “Here,” I said, “I bought these for Cam in Mexico.  Even if he doesn’t want to make up, I want him to have them.  They just depress me every time I look at them.”

“Okay.  I’ll take them.  You up for some Call of Duty or something?  Jackson is coming back in about an hour to get me.  You can come hang at our house then if you want.”

“Yes and Yes,” I answered smiling.  I really needed to hang out with a friend.  And Noah is the best friend a guy could have.

***

We played a few games of COD and took a break.  I realized I hadn’t mentioned to Noah about Craig finding his cumrag.  There was no reason for him to really need to know that, but I had just promised him early to be honest with him about everything.  It seemed like a good way to demonstrate that.

“Noah,” I said getting his attention.

“Yeah?”

“There is one more thing I probably should tell you,” I replied.

He perked up.  “What?” he asked. 

“When Craig and I were searching for the letter, we looked all over trying to find it.  Including under your bed.”

“Yeah, so?” he asked. 

“We kinda found something else.  Craig did anyway,” I replied.  He looked at me, dumbfounded.  “Your cumrag Noah.  Craig found your garmuc.  And the massager thing.”

“OH GOD!” he exclaimed.  He started turning red and hid his face in his hands.  “I forgot all about that.  I haven’t used it in a while.”

“Oh yeah?  It looked like it had been used a BUNCH to me.”

“Well you aren’t always around to suck me Max!  But honest, I’ve been doing it in the shower lately.  I need to wash that before my mom finds it.  She would be grossed out.”

“She might not know what it is.  I even had to explain it to Craig and he’s a dude.  He was like – ‘doesn’t everyone just use Kleenex?’  And he’d never heard it called a garmuc.”

“This is embarrassing.  You owe me Max.  Big time.”

“I know,” I laughed.  “But I do owe you Noah.  Honest.  You’re the most loyal, best friend I could ever ask for.  Can I tell you something?”

“What?” he asked.

“I feel stupid now, but I honestly thought maybe you were coming over here to tell me you didn’t want to be friends any more, because you knew what I did in Mexico and you thought it was too much.”

“That’s crazy,” he replied.  He leaned towards me and gave me a hug from the side.  “We are friends for life.  You’re stuck with me.  I’ve penciled you in to be my best man when I get married you know?”

“Oh yeah.  You’ll have to get a date first.  But honest, I’d do anything for you Noah, any time.”

“Maybe you can help me with that date thing,” he answered as broke away from his hug.  “Next Friday is the first Spartan Night Out.  I was hoping you could make sure Ashley goes.”

“I could do that.  Sure,” I replied. 

“Thanks.  There might be something else you could help me with.  Right now,” he said with a grin. 

“What?” I asked, oblivious to what he was getting at.

“Any chance you’d be down give me a quick blow job?” he asked sheepishly.

He didn’t have to ask twice.  I had his shorts and underwear pulled down and his cock in my mouth in a flash.

***

We spent much of the afternoon at Noah’s pool.  Being late in the summer, it was almost empty – people get bored with the pool by mid-August.  I sent Ashley an IM that we were going, but she replied that she was out shopping for new school clothes with her mom.  When I told Noah, I couldn’t tell if he was relieved or bummed.  I honestly think it was a little of both. 

We both ended up laying in the shade and relaxing.  I decided I better send Craig a text and tell him I had news to share.  “Is it good or bad?” he promptly asked.  “Mostly good,” I answered.  Other than Cam telling Noah our secret, the rest of the news really was good.  Noah hadn’t opened my letter, and even though he knew, he was vowing not to tell.  Not only that, he had managed to convince Cam to do the same.

I asked Craig if we could maybe go out for dinner, just the two of us.  While I did need to talk to him, I also just wanted to spend some time together.  Going to dinner would be like old times.

“Deal.  I’ll be home by 6.  Then I can come get you.”

“No need.  I’m at Noah’s.  Just let me know when you are home and I’ll come over,” I replied.

***

As we walked home from the pool, Noah asked if I wanted to stay for dinner and spend the night.  I told him I had made plans to eat with Craig.  “Can I come along?” he asked, before pausing.  “Never mind,” he added.  “You guys probably need to talk about stuff, huh?”

***

Craig texted me at 5:15: “Got home early.  You ready?”

I told Noah goodbye.  “Have fun,” he told me.  “Behave yourself Max,” he added with a smirk.  I frowned at him.  “Too soon, huh?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I replied.  Noah was never afraid to joke about sensitive topics.  Nothing is off limits for his humor.  In a way, I appreciated it.  But it was a little early this time.  “And besides, were not doing that anymore,” I told him before leaving.

 I walked next door.  Craig was home alone, which I was glad about.  It was less awkward without Kim there.  She always makes a fuss over me.  “Hey bud,” he said when I walked in, giving me an embrace.  “You’ve got good news I hope.”

“Yes.  I think so.  I’m starving.  Noah and I were swimming all afternoon.  Can we take off?  I’ll fill you in while we drive.”

“Okay.  How about that Thai place?  It’s never too crowded and we should be able to talk.  You know, the one we went to with...” he said.  He was suggesting the restaurant we took Cam to.  He realized I might not want to be reminded of Cam before he could finish the sentence.  “Or on second thought, let’s just get a secluded table Applebee’s.  It’s too early to be crowded.”

As we drove, I told him all about my discussion with Noah.  I told him that Noah hadn’t read the letter.  He was really excited by that because he assumed that meant Noah didn’t know about us.  Unfortunately, I had to explain that Cam told him everything.  “I thought you had good news Max,” he replied.

“It is good news, really.  We already assumed Noah knew, right?  He does, but he didn’t open my letter and read it.”  I explained how Noah defended him to Cam and asked Cam to keep quiet.  I told him all about Noah asking me how it went down and how he seemed satisfied that I truly did start things.  He was shocked when I told him Noah was adamant about defending both of us. 

“I don’t get it.  Why?” he asked in disbelief.

I explained about the boy at Cam’s school, and how Cam and Noah didn’t want me to go through what he’s been experiencing.  I also told him about Noah being concerned for his family.  “And Craig,” I added, “you know how much Noah has always liked you.  He doesn’t want to see or your family destroyed.  I made it very clear that it was me who started it all.  I basically told him that I seduced you.”

“I don’t know what to say,” he replied.  “That’s all very unexpected.  What’s next?”

I explained that Noah was going to talk to Cam again and that while I wasn’t very optimistic, I hoped he’d get Cam to talk to me. 

“I’ll cross my fingers and say a prayer for you,” he commented.

***

Over dinner we talked about a few other things.  I told him I wasn’t sure what to do about gymnastics.  He tried to encourage me not to give up something I love if it was just a matter of being uncomfortable.  “You can always find a different gym.  Or maybe being around Cam will help him come around,” he suggested.  I didn’t think that was likely and changing gyms might be worse than suffering the awkwardness of practicing and competing with Cam.  I love my coaches and teammates (yes, even Cam!).

I told him about Joshua calling me the day before and asking me to show him how to play with his butt.  He gave me a frown.  “It was all his idea, honest!” I pleaded.  I filled him in about Joshua being a busy little wanker ever since returning from Mexico and how he has managed to loosen his once-tight skin.  “It was kind of hot watching him do something for the first time and really get off on it.  I kind of like being the teacher and seeing a boy enjoy something new.”

He looked at me in silence for a few seconds.  He was clearly thinking.  “You know Max, you need to be careful.  Those are the kind of thoughts I had when I was your age and I never managed to stop thinking about stuff like that.  And see where it got me?  I get why you like it, but please, make sure you are mostly focused on guys your age, or older.  And by guys your age, I mean they better at least be in middle school.  And next year, when you go to high school, you probably should stick to kids in 8th grade or higher.”

I think Craig’s range seemed too narrow.  Jackson asked me to suck him and that didn’t seem weird and he’s three grades above me.  It seems like a better rule would be at least make sure they are old enough to cum.   It doesn’t really matter though.  I might keep doing stuff with Spencer and Joshua, but it’s not like I plan to go out cruising for other younger boys.

“Don’t worry Craig,” I assured him.  “Joshua’s foreskin is cool and his tight hole was hot, but I really like older, hairy guys more anyway.  You know, really OLD guys like you,” I added, teasing.  “I like the feeling of being kinda like a big brother with Joshua.  It gives me satisfaction knowing I’m helping him.  It’s more about that than the sex, honest.”

***

On the way home, I told him about the idea I had to blame it all on Armando.  I explained it all to him and then added, “pretty stupid idea, huh?”

“Actually,” he replied.  “That’s not a bad idea at all.”

“Really,” I answered.  “I was sure you’d say it was another dumb idea.”

“Oh, it’s a long shot.  But it makes just enough sense that it could muddy the water sufficiently to keep us out of trouble.  Of course, it was more likely to work when it was just Cam who knew.  Now that you’ve admitted the truth to Noah, it might be tougher to sell.”

“Oh, shit.  Yeah.  I didn’t think of that.”

“It’s okay.  It sounds like Noah is on our side, for now.  Being honest with him was probably the best approach.  He won’t stay with you, with us, if he thinks he’s being played.”

“True.  Noah really is a great friend.”

“He’s a great kid.  He’s loyal, that is for sure.”

***

Craig and I embraced before I hopped out of the car.  “Goodnight Max.  Love you bud,” he told me.

“Love you too Craig.  Thanks,” I told him as I hugged him back.  I’m not sure what came over me, but I felt the urge to kiss Craig again.  The night had been so pleasant, it was almost like we were back in Mexico.  I started to kiss him as I broke from the hug.  He kissed me back at first, but when I started to take it further, extending my tongue, he quickly pushed me away.  “Sorry,” I said immediately, ashamed I had tried something so stupid.

“It’s okay.  It’s not that I wouldn’t have minded what you started, but I’m afraid where that might lead us.  If we start kissing, I’m afraid it will steam roll and neither of us will be able to contain ourselves and we’ll just add to our troubles.”

“Yes, sir,” I replied.  “I understand.”  We hugged again, this time without any attempted kissing.

I walked inside, as happy as I’d been since I was dumped.  Noah and I had the deepest conversation we’ve ever had and I’ve never felt closer to him.  Plus, it seemed that at least for now, Craig and I didn’t have to worry about our secret being outed.  And on top of all that, I had a little 12- year-old half way across the country who is like my little brother.  If I could just get Cam back, everything would be perfect.

***

Unfortunately, my great day was about to be soured.

“Hey sweetie,” mom greeted me from the couch as I walked in.  I said hello and then started to head up to my room.  “Wait,” she said.  “How was your day?  How was Noah?”

“It was good, mom.  Noah’s good too,” I replied.  She was looking at me funny.  “Um, how was your day?” I asked.

“Good.  The usual,” she answered looking away.  I could tell something was off with her.  I started to panic.  Did she hear from Cam’s parents?  Was she working up to asking me about Mexico?  “And how was Craig?” she continued.

“He’s … fine,” I replied trying to read her reaction.  “We went to Applebee’s,” I added, trying to act normal.  “Mom, is something wrong?” I finally asked.

She took a deep breath.  “Not exactly.  I have something for you,” she said, stammering.

“What is it?” I asked.  If she wasn’t acting so strangely, I would have thought maybe she had gone shopping and bought me some new clothes.  It was clearly something else.

“You got a letter from dad,” she said, holding up an envelope.

“What?  What did he say?” I asked.

“I’m not sure.  I didn’t open it,” she replied, handing it to me.

I held it in my hand, turning it nervously.  The truth was, I wasn’t sure I wanted to read it.  I’d completely excised my dad from my life the past few months and wasn’t sure I wanted him back in the fold.  Also, I couldn’t help but realize that letters as of late have been nothing but trouble.  Just holding it gave me a bad feeling. 

“Aren’t you going to open it?” mom eventually asked.

“I guess,” I replied reluctantly.  I thought I might take it upstairs and open it later, but it was clear mom expected me to read it and show it to her.  I tore open the envelope and unfolded the single page.  Considering it was the first time he’s written since going away, it didn’t seem very long.  I was disappointed before I even began reading it. 

The first couple paragraphs were just him telling me how things were in prison.  The food sucks he said, but they get time to work out and he watches a lot of TV.  He said he’s been in weekly therapy to deal with his ‘issues’.  Then he asked me a lot of questions about school, gymnastics, and girl interests (yuck)!  My first reaction was to be pissed that he seems to care now.  He never paid much attention to me when he was here.  Then I felt guilty.  What if he’s trying to be better and I’m not even giving him a chance?

I wasn’t remorseful for very long, because the last paragraph reminded me of what a prick he can be.  He went on to tell me about a couple “faggots who are trying to make me into their woman.”  He said they’ve been stalking him, but he’s been able to avoid them.  “Don’t worry.  I’ll take care of them if I have to.  Ain’t no queer sticking his dick in me.”  The final line bothered me the most: “I don’t know why we even let these fags roam the earth with us.” 

I was shocked at his harshness.  I don’t recall him ever making such emphatic homophobic remarks.  The only negative reaction of his to gay people that I could remember happened on the nude beach.  Two older men were making out and they were both very big.  I remember he said something like “ewwww, gross!”  I assumed his comment has as much to do with their size or that they were making out on the beach – which was frowned upon.  We’d seen other men holding hands and he never commented on that.

“Write me back,” he wrote in closing.  Write him back?  And tell him what?  That I’m one of those fags he doesn’t think is worthy of sharing his air?  I don’t get how can he hate gays so much when he was doing stuff with little girls.  You’d think he’d be somewhat understanding of people having different attractions.  But I’ve never understood my father, and this was yet another example of us clashing.

Mom must have noticed my expression had changed.  “What is it Max?  Is everything okay?”

“Um, yeah.  Dad just said of the gay dudes in prison are hitting on him,” I replied.  “That’s kind of…um… scary.”

“I’m sure your dad can handle it.  You know, he and I talked before he went away about you perhaps visiting him.  He said he didn’t want you to see him locked up in prison garb.  I was okay with that.  I thought seeing him behind bars might be too traumatic for you.  But you’ve matured so much in the past few months that I think you can handle it.  He can have visitors beginning next month if you’d like to go see him.  Would you like that?”

“Yeah, sure.  Of course,” I replied, trying to sound convincing.  I honestly didn’t know what to think or feel.  I know I should want to go see him, but I just don’t feel the desire and feel guilty about not missing him more.  I knew part of that had to do with Craig being a better substitute father than dad ever was.  For fuck’s sake, I just tried to kiss him in the car.  That was really effing stupid.  Even though he stopped and corrected me, he did it in a way that made me still feel loved.

  “I’m going to take a shower,” I said, excusing myself.  I shoved the letter in a drawer and headed to the bathroom.  As I waited for the water to warm, I slid to the floor and leaned against the wall.  I don’t need this additional layer of complication in my life.  It’s not like it wasn’t already hard enough. 

I wondered if it were somehow my fault dad was gone.  What if I had been more affectionate with him?  Would he have loved and cared about me more if I had done the sports he was into – baseball and football?  If I were a better son, would he not have wanted to do those things with those girls?  I’d talked about that kind of stuff with my therapist months ago and she helped me realize it wasn’t my fault.  But what if she’s wrong?  Isn’t it her job to make me feel better, no matter what?

I realized if dad weren’t gone, I would have never gotten to spend time with Craig.  So maybe it is good things happened like they did.  Then again, if he weren’t gone, I wouldn’t be in this mess with Craig!  God dammit why does this all have to be so confusing?  No matter what happens, it seems to turn out badly in some way.

 I willed myself to my feet, pulled off my clothes, and slipped into the shower.  The warm water was soothing.  As I relaxed under the spray, I had another weird thought:  maybe I should have been born a girl.  Then it would be normal to be attracted to boys.  I know my dad would have liked me more.  Maybe he would have done stuff with me instead of getting himself in to trouble with our friend’s daughters and everything would still be normal.  But what a dumb idea to have, it’s not like I have any control over what equipment I was born with, right?  As the water ran over my back, erasing that weird notion, I imagined a new scene in my head.  The one where I eventually tell dad I’m one of those ‘fags’ he doesn’t think should be allowed to live.  I envisioned him going into a rage.  I almost didn’t care anymore.  But it still hurt.  I realized I was crying. 

“Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhh,” I yelled out in frustration, punching the wall with the side of my balled fist.  A jolt of pain shot through my hand and up my wrist.  “Fuck!” I yelled out.  “What am I supposed to do?” I cried.  I looked up at the ceiling, imagining a god that I wasn’t even sure I believed in was looking down on me, listening.  “Why is everything so messed up?  Please, I can only handle so much,” I begged. 

I realized mom was calling my name, banging on the bathroom door.  She must have opened the door because I heard her yelling over the noise of the shower.  “Max!  Are you okay?  I heard a loud thump.”

“Yeah,” I replied, trying to gain some composure.  “I just slipped and hit my elbow,” I told her.  It was all I could think of for an excuse.  I was thankful she couldn’t see through the shower curtain.  She would probably know I was lying as well.

“Is it all right?  Do you need me to take a look at it?” she asked.

“No!” I replied sharply.  It had been a while since mom had seen me naked.  That wouldn’t have bothered me as much as it might for most guys my age, but I didn’t need her to see me crying.  “I’m fine, honest,” I called out.

“Okay.  Be careful honey,” she answered and closed the door.

I was upset I caused her alarm.  And for crying again.  It seems like I cry every other day lately.  It’s embarrassing.  I’m supposed to be turning into a man, and here I am bawling like a baby every time I turn around.  I realized I had to keep it together so mom didn’t become suspicious that something else was going on.  I need to be strong for her.

Thoughts rushed through my head as I remained under the spray of hot water.  There was something comforting about being alone in the confinement of the shower with my thoughts, surrounded by the steam.  I was in there longer than I realized, because the water suddenly turned cold.  If the hot water hadn’t run out, I think I might have stayed in there forever.

***

Once I toweled off, I texted Craig and asked if I could call him.  I needed someone to talk to.

He called me right away.  “What is it Max?  Is everything Okay?”

“Sorta,” I mumbled.

“You sound upset.  What is it?  Did something happen with Cam?” he asked, clearly concerned there were new negative developments with our situation.

“No, that’s not it,” I replied.  I told him about getting the letter from dad and how his homophobic slurs upset me.  He listened patiently while I listed all the emotions the letter stirred up: the anger, sadness, and guilt.  I even told him about wondering if I should have been born a girl.

As usual, Craig managed to make me feel better.  “Max, it’s typical for kids your age to blame themselves for everything that happens around them.  You are NOT responsible for your dad’s actions, or mine for that matter.  Even if you had been a girl, there’s no guarantee it would be different.  In fact, it could be a lot worse.  What if you were Maxine and he was too affectionate with you?  That can mess a kid up too, you know?  You are perfect just the way you are Max.  And besides, you would look funny in a dress.  I just can’t imagine you with boobs.”

I glanced down at my flat chest and imagined boobs being there instead.  I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought.  “Yeah, you’re right,” I replied.  I can’t imagine not have a penis to play with!

“Listen,” he continued, “you have to do what is best for Max.  Right now, you need to take care of yourself first.  Don’t feel obligated to do anything, whether that is visit or even write back if you don’t want to.  Someday he’s going to have to deal with your being gay, but there is no reason you must tell him immediately.  And if he’s going to be toxic about it, you might need to accept you are better off without him in your life.”

“Okay,” I replied.  I’d not considered completely ignoring the letter as an option.

“Max, you are a terrific kid.  You’re sweet, smart, talented, caring, and loyal to those you love.  Being gay is just part of the unique package that makes you awesome.  There is nothing wrong with who you are or how you were born.  I love spending time with you.  You’re a hell of a lot of fun to be around.  Why your father couldn’t see that and enjoy time with you, I don’t know.  I’d be proud to call you my son any day.”

I didn’t know what to say.  It’s not often someone says so many nice things about you.  I never believed Craig was just after me for sex, but this was proof that he likes me for way more than my body.  “Thank you,” I eventually mumbled. 

“I’m glad you called.  I know we can’t see each other as much as either of us would like right now, but remember, I’m always here for you when you really need it.  I know your mom loves and cares about you too.  You going to be okay?”

“Yeah,” I assured him before telling him good night.  Craig, as usual, made me feel better.  Not only better, but special.  Craig is always there for me and not because he has to be, but because he chooses to be.  His words never seem phony – you know, those things adults often say because they are supposed to.  My therapist was nice and all, but Craig always makes me see things a lot clearer than she ever did.

Just talking to Craig and sharing my feelings calmed me.  I realized again how lucky I am to have him in my life - which only made me guilty all over again for putting him at risk by not keeping our secret. 

My gut reaction when mom asked was that I didn’t want to go see dad.  A memory came back to me of the time right after he was arrested.  Mom was miserable for a week and I didn’t have a clue as to why.  I recall how hard it was for her to eventually explain to me what was happening.  She was anxious, just like she was tonight with the letter, only times ten.  When she told me what was happening, she broke down and cried so hard she could barely speak.  I’ve never seen her so distraught.  I remember watching her pain and vowing that I didn’t want to talk to him ever again.  I did of course talk to him over the following months, but I’ve never forgiven him for the pain he caused her, and I don’t think I ever will.  Given how much he always seemed to mail it in when it came to being a dad, I don’t have any regrets for not caring more about him. 

With Craig around, I don’t need my father.  I just hope I can manage to keep him in my life.  I realize now that I need him even more than I ever realized.  A lot of my friends seem to be trying to distance themselves from their parents and I’m doing the exact opposite with Craig.  I need him.  There’s some stuff I just can’t talk to mom about.  Seducing him was so dumb.  The sex was awesome, but it’s nothing compared to what he does for me in every other way.

I slipped on a pair of shorts and knocked on mom’s door and let myself in.  She sat up in bed.  “What is it Max?  Everything okay?”

I stood nervously in the door.  “About that visit…to see dad,” I began.

“We can set it up for whenever you want honey,” she replied through the darkness.

“Um … what I was going to say is … I don’t think I want to.  Not yet.  I’m just not ready.”

“Oh,” she said, somewhat surprised.  “That’s up to you hon.  If you change your mind, I can take you.  Now come give me a hug,” she said, patting the empty spot in the bed next to her.  I climbed next to her and hugged her tight.  I realized I hadn’t hugged mom as much as I vowed to a few weeks back when I realized I had been ignoring her.  Her hug was reassuring.  It reminded me of those from Craig.  She squeezed me tight and planted a kiss on my cheek.  I think she could tell I was more upset than I was leading on. 

“Can I sleep here tonight?” I asked.  It had been years since I’d crawled into bed with either of my parents, but the idea suddenly seemed appealing.  It reminded me of when I was younger and she would hold me when I was sick. 

I arranged the spare pillows and made myself comfortable.  She started stroking my back lightly with her fingernails.  It was relaxing.  After a few minutes, she stopped and drew a large heart.  “I love you son,” she said.

“I love you too mommy,” I replied without thinking.  I hadn’t called her that in years.  She continued stroking my back as I drifted off to sleep.

***

I’m not sure if it was the comfort of being close to mom or if I was buoyed by Craig’s kind words, but I slept more soundly than I have since this turmoil began.  I didn’t stir until I heard her getting ready for work.  She sat on the edge of the bed before leaving.  I was nearly asleep again, but the shift of the mattress and the heavy scent of her body spray pulled me back to consciousness.  She nudged me and whispered, “Max, are you awake?  I’m ready to leave for work.”

I rolled to her and opened my eyes to find her looking down upon me smiling.  “Oh, good.  I was hoping you were awake.”  She stroked my hair.  “I wanted to make sure you were okay before I left.”

“Yeah.  Fine,” I muttered as I gave her hand a squeeze.

“Good.  I know the letter was upsetting.  If you want to see Jan again, you know you can, right?”  Jan was my therapist.

“Yeah, I know.  But I’ll be okay.  I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.  I feel better after a good night’s sleep, honest.”

“I am going to call you later, just to make sure, okay?”

“Sure,” I answered.

“You did sleep well.  I didn’t, but you did.  I think you were dreaming most of the night.  And talking in your sleep,” she continued.  “It was cute.  Who is Josh anyway?”

It’s funny how you can usually never remember dreams, but just her mention of Josh gave me instant recall of part of a dream I had.  Being in bed with mom must have reminded me of sleeping with Craig, because I dreamed I was sleeping next to him again.  Except for some reason, Craig had Josh’s undeveloped hairless dick.  Come to think of it, Craig also had Josh’s small, boyish voice.  Dreams are so weird.  I’m not sure how the dream ended, but I knew there was something sexual about it.  I was suddenly fearful of what I might have said in my sleep.

“Josh?” I asked.  “There are a couple at school.  Josh Miller and Josh White.  But I don’t know them that well.  There was a Josh in Mexico on our dive one day,” I added, trying to play dumb.  “What did I say anyway?”

“You only said a couple lines clearly.  But it was something like ‘Josh, slow down!  Wait!’ and then a few seconds later, ‘Don’t be in a hurry.’  And then you were out again.  Don’t dwell on it, honey.  It was just a dream.  Promise you will call me if you need anything?”

“Promise,” I replied.

She leaned over and kissed me on the forehead.  “Love you Max,” she told me.  “I left you a list of chores on the kitchen counter.  Nothing major, but the yard does need mowing.  Maybe it will keep your mind off things,” she added before leaving.

I was relieved I didn’t say anything revealing, though I also realized that if I had, mom probably wouldn’t have mentioned it.  After she left, I stumbled to the bathroom where I found a surprise waiting for me.  There was a small crusty spot on my underwear!  Was this a wet dream?  I’ve never had one.  Could that tiny spot (maybe the size of a two quarters) on my Calvins really be the infamous nocturnal emission?  Or did I just get horny in my dream and leak some pre-cum? 

As big a deal they made of wet dreams during those puberty films, I expected a flood, not this little spot.  If I hadn’t put my finger right atop the dried spot as I pulled down my underwear to pee, I might not have even noticed.  After I finished pissing and shook off, I realized there was some dried stuff in my pubes also.  I pulled off my underwear and smelled the spot.  Yep, smells like jizz.  Holy shit, I came in my sleep… next to my mom!

The realization that I had a wet dream in mom’s bed caused me to panic.  Did I say more than she alluded to?  Did I mention Craig in addition to Josh?  Was I humping the bed?  Oh god, what if I tried to hump her?  I ran back to her room and quickly inspected the bedding.  The dark grey sheets were spotless.  Whew!  I guess I owe a thank you to Calvin Klein for making their underwear super absorbent. 

I flopped onto mom’s bed and stared at the ceiling.  I tried to remember the rest of the dream, but it wouldn’t come back to me.  This sucks!  I have my first wet dream and I can’t even remember the best parts.

***

As I mowed, I continued trying to recall the rest of the dream.  Sadly, nothing more popped into my head.  But imagining the possibilities was enough to make me horny.  Was I busting Josh’s cherry, his virgin hole gripping my cock tightly?  Was Craig giving me a good fucking?  Was I sucking Joshua off when he had his first wet orgasm, savoring the flavor of freshly minted boy juice?

By the time I was finished and the mower was back in the garage, I was covered in sweat.  Even though it was early, it was an unusually humid day.  I always mow without a shirt, so when I went to towel off, I couldn’t help but to admire myself in the bathroom mirror.  The lights reflected off my sweat covered chest, highlighting my well-defined abs and pecs.  I didn’t look too bad.  I hate that my nipples are still tiny though, like a little kid’s.  They look odd on my muscular chest.  Cam’s are much bigger.  I liked playing with them because they would get so hard.  Noah’s are a lot bigger also, and kind of puffy even.  Come to think of it, I think even Joshua’s nipples are bigger round than mine. 

I went upstairs and grabbed my laptop.  I was horny and decided to watch some porn.  I decided to check out Xtube, the site Spencer told me about where he found all the kinky videos.  Once I got to the landing page, I was shocked by what I saw.  There were thumbnails of several videos showing guys with their whole hand up another dude’s ass.  Gross!  There were a few normal looking videos, but the stuff on this site is definitely not the same kind of porn Cam and I watched together.  These videos seemed to be almost entirely home-made and user uploaded. 

One video in the center of the page caught my attention.  It was titled “Spanking my sub.”  Since Chad (the guy on Grindr) had brought up spanking and Spencer was into it too, I was curious.  I watched the video.  It was of two older guys.  One was bent over a table with his hands tied.  The other spanked him with a ping pong paddle at first and then a belt.  The man getting spanked seemed to really like it, even though the other dude was smacking him hard and his butt was turning red.  Every few minutes the spanker would stop and stroke the other guy with a lubed hand.  I honestly didn’t get it.  I’m not sure why either guy was getting off on this.

Below that video, the site showed related clips.  One was a guy getting caned and there were red marks across his ass.  I was curious so I watched a few seconds of it before pausing it.  It was way too extreme.  The dude’s ass was getting shredded!  I was about to go back to the home page when another video caught my eye.  The preview was of a young twink draped over the knee of an older man.  Both were decent looking.  The teen, who barely looked 18, was a red head with a smooth ass.  The older guy was clean cut with an average build.  I hit play.

The scene began in a grocery store with the twink knocking over a display of cereal.  “Get that shit picked up then come to my office, Kyle,” the older man told him angrily.  The man was clearly his boss.  He wore a nice shirt and a tie.

The scene quickly shifted to the manager’s office.  “Sir,” Kyle said sheepishly as he stood in the doorway.  “You wanted to see me?”

“Close the door,” the boss demanded angrily.

“I’m really sorry sir,” the teen pleaded before the boss could speak.  “Please don’t fire me.  I need this job to pay my insurance.  My parents will kill me.”

“Tough shit son.  You’re costing us a fortune with your fuck ups.  Just how bad do you want to keep your job?” the boss asked.

“I’ll do anything,” the teen pleaded.  The acting was atrocious.  It was obvious where this was going, but at least this clip had some story to it.  It wasn’t an amateur clip.  The more I got a look at the actors, the more attractive they were.  The twink could be an older Ian and the man a younger Craig.

“You’ll need to be punished Kyle,” the man said sternly.

“Yes Mr. Graham,” the boy replied shyly, looking away.

“Lock the door,” Mr. Graham instructed.  “Now come stand in front of me.”

The teen made his way around the desk and stood in front of his boss.  The man began undoing Kyle’s belt.  “What are you doing Mr. Graham?” he asked naively.

“Bad boys need to be spanked.  That is unless you’d rather take your pink slip and be on your way.  Which is it boy?”

The actor playing Kyle tried to act distressed, but it was so poor.  “Spanking sir,” he finally replied.  Mr. Graham removed his belt and undid the button of the boy’s khakis and let them fall to his ankles, revealing a pair of dark blue fruit of the loom boxer briefs.  Those too were immediately pulled down below the boy’s knees, briefly revealing a soft 3” cut dick topped by a bush of reddish-blonde hair before the boy quickly covered himself in embarrassment.  “Please sir,” he pleaded to deaf ears.

Mr. Graham soon had him over his knee, alternating slaps to each side of Kyle’s pasty white ass.  His cheeks began turning red.  I liked this video a lot more than the others.  For one, I could tell it wasn’t really hurting Kyle, despite how much the young actor was trying to make it seem like it was painful.  Something about the power dynamic of the older boss and young employee made a connection.  It must have reminded me of Craig.  As I watched Mr. Graham continue to spank Kyle, I found myself wondering what the man’s cock might be like.  I really wished he would fuck Kyle.  I decided that would be hot as fuck.

I glanced down at the scroll bar.  The video was at the 6 minute mark and still had another 13 minutes remaining.  I realized, happily, that there must be more than spanking in this video.  “What this?” Mr. Graham asked, reaching under the teen.  “Appears getting spanked gave you a hard-on.  You like this, don’t you Kyle?” he asked.

“Oh no sir,” Kyle answered.

“Yeah, well your cock says you do,” Mr. Graham replied, stroking the boy, causing him to moan.  “Yeah, I knew you were a gay little pussy boy when I hired you.”

Mr. Graham stood up and told Kyle to undress him.  “Why sir?” Kyle asked.

“Because you’re going to suck my big daddy cock Kyle.  You know you want to.  Go on,” he encouraged.  Moments later, the horny teen was happily slurping down the man’s hefty cock.  It was big; close to 8”, cut, with large low hanging balls on either side.  His bush was trimmed very short.  “Oh yeah, that’s a hot throat you got Kyle.  Suck that daddy dick,” he instructed as both hands pushed Kyle’s face onto his cock. 

I was hard as a rock.  This scene was getting me wound up.  I pushed off my shorts and underwear and grabbed my cock.  I large smear of pre-cum oozed onto my hand.  I licked it off and returned to slowly stroking my cock as I watched.  My wish for the video came true.  Mr. Graham soon had Kyle bent over the desk and fucked the shit out of him.  It was so hot watching the man’s big cock drive deep into Kyle’s skinny white ass.  Of course, Mr. Graham spanked him as he fucked him too.  God do I ever miss being fucked!

The clip ended with Mr. Graham shooting his juicy load into Kyle’s mouth before ordering the boy back to work.  “You can jerk your little boy dick off when you get home.”  Kyle hastily pulled up his pants and headed for the door.  “One more thing Kyle, tomorrow you come in an hour earlier.  I’m going to need your help with some…uh… paperwork,” he added, squeezing his crotch. 

***

The clip of Kyle and Mr. Graham left me really horned up.  I almost grabbed my cock and got myself off, but had an idea.  It would be more fun to come with someone else.  I texted the only person I could – Joshua.

While I waited for a reply, I caught up on Instagram and Snapchat.  After 10 minutes and no reply, I had unfortunately lost my boner.  I went to Grindr.  Chad had messaged me twice since I talked to him two days ago.  One just said hello.  The second messaged asked if I got turned off by him talking about spanking me.  I think he was concerned he scared me away.  I did end our last conversation abruptly after he starting talking about spanking because I thought it was weird.  But now, after watching Kyle get spanked and fucked by his boss, I was intrigued by the idea.  In fact, if Craig would recreate that scene with me, I would love it. 

I was in the process of replying to Chad when sent me a new message. 

Chad7x: “Hey bud”

Me: “Hey!”

Chad7x:  Hows life?

Me: good, you?  Working from home again?

Chad7x:  yes.  Wanna come over lol

Me: sorry, can’t today

Chad7x: I was kidding.  Family is around

Me: oh

Chad7x: so I didn’t scare you off last time when I brought up spanking that cute little ass of yours?

Me: idk, not really.  I thought it was weird though

Chad7x:  maybe it is, but weird can be fun sometimes

Me: yeah

Chad7x: we could skip that part

Me: idk, it might be fun

Chad7x: yeah?

Me: I just watched some porn with spanking…it was kind of hot

Chad7x: really? tell me about it

I told him about the porn clip I watched.  He asked me what site I was on and the name of the clip.  He eventually found it and skipped through it.

Chad7x: So you liked this huh?  Nice.  Would you like a nice daddy like me to give you a little spanking

Me: maybe, but nothing too hard

Chad7x: of course not.  Just enough you know who is in charge…. before I fuck you..

Chad7x:  with this (he attached a picture of his shorts and underwear pulled away revealing his huge cock pointing straight up)

Me: yes sir.  Did I give you that?

Chad7x:  yes, and that vid clip.  But mostly you.  Your turn.  Show me your cock baby.  Show me how horny you are.

I hesitated.  I wasn’t sure about sending him a picture of my dick.  What if it was obvious I wasn’t as old as I claimed?

Chad7x:  c’mon bud, don’t be shy.  Daddy chad going to have to spank you if you keep misbehaving

His dominant way of talking to me made my cock even harder.  I pulled my boner out the fly of my underwear and snapped a picture of it laying across my Calvin Klein trunks.  I was surprised at how hot of a pic it turned out to be.  The blue trunks were sexy and just a glimpse of my abs was visible.  Hiding my pubes and balls made my age less apparent too!  I sent it.

Chad7x:  Wow.  That’s a good boy.  So hot!  Almost as nice as your ass.  Damn, we really should meet sometime.  I can tell you are my type.  We could have a LOT of fun

Me: yeah, maybe

Chad7x: when are you free???

As much as I liked talking with Chad and fantasizing about him, I still had no intention of meeting him.  I mean even if I wanted to, once he saw I was barely older than his son, he would probably run.  But I did like talking to him.  It’s nice having someone interested in you.  I strung him along.

Me: don’t know for sure, maybe next week?

Chad7x: just tell me when… I’ll get a hotel, on me.  Unless I can come to your place?

Me:  hotel sounds cool

Chad7x:  perfect.  I g2g.  talk to you soon horny boy

***

Talking with Chad and thinking about his hard cock had me aroused again.  I reached inside my shorts and gave my cock a squeeze.  I decided I would grab lunch and then shower, where I could have a nice jack with soap as lube.  Considering I had been aroused and on edge for 90 minutes, I didn’t expect it would take much to push me over the brink.

But my plans would change.  I had just put my dishes in the sink when Joshua answered my text with a FaceTime call.  “Hey,” I answered.

“Hey.  Sorry I didn’t answer your text.  I just woke up,” he answered.  I could see he was still in bed, shirtless.  I was surprised a nerdy boy like Josh was asleep so late.  It was almost 12:30!  For some reason I just assumed he was the type to get up early.  But then I realized I had completely forgotten about the time difference.  He lives in Arizona and they are two hours behind. 

“No problem.  Sleeping in huh?  Maybe you are getting ready to go through a growth spurt.  That’s what my mom always said whenever I was sleeping a lot.”

“I wish.  I’d love to be bigger, like you.  But nah, I was up really late, that’s all.”

“What were you doing up late?” I asked.

“This,” he replied and then turned his camera around to reveal his fist wrapped around his hard cock, moving up and down.

“You were up late jacking off?  How long could that take?”

“Uh huh,” he confirmed.  “I did it a few times.  You ever heard of Jackin’ World?”

“Jackin’ World?” I asked.

“Yeah, it’s a website.  It shows you a bunch of different ways to jack off.  I tried a few of them last night.  They also have some questions that people answer that are interesting.  I learned a lot of stuff.  I would read those between trying out different techniques to jerk.”

“How long were you on there?  How many times did you make yourself cum?”  I was shocked someone could spend so long going at it.  Once I cum, I move on to something else.

“A couple hours, at least,” he replied.  “4 times.  Is that a lot?”

Holy shit!  What a little horndog.  I couldn’t imagine doing it four times back-to-back.  I don’t even think I could.  But then I remembered back to when my orgasms were dry.  Back then I could keep knocking them out.  Something about shooting jizz must make it take longer to reset. 

“FOUR?  Jesus Christ Josh.  Your dick’s gonna rot and fall off,” I joked. 

“Really?” he asked, becoming concerned.  I forgot he struggles to read when I am joking. 

“No, it was a joke, but damn!  And you’re already hard again?”

“I woke up that way,” he explained. 

“It’s okay.  I can’t say much.  I was watching porn earlier and I was just about to hop in the shower and rub one out myself.”

“Really?  You wanna do it together, like the other day?” he asked eagerly.

“Why not?” I replied, “that’s actually why I texted you earlier.”

“Really?  This is awesome!” he exclaimed as he quickly switched his cam around to his hard dick.

Josh and I wanked together over FaceTime.  This was a much shorter session than the first time.  I was so ready to explode that it didn’t take but a couple minutes of stroking myself before I blasted all over my chest.  I might have been able to hold it back some with the tricks Craig taught me, but I badly needed to come.  My balls were beginning to ache.

Joshua’s jaw dropped when he saw my dick turn into a sperm volcano, spewing chunks of hot jizz across my body.  “OMG Max!” he exclaimed.  “I wish you could do that all over me!” he added as he jerked himself faster.  I must admit, it was impressive, even to me, and it felt fantastic to finally get a release.  I felt like I’d been building the tension for hours, ever since sometime in the night when I was dreaming.  The only other time I blasted like that was the first time I jerked off with Cam, after our first date.  I’d been hard that night for hours also before finally jerking off for him.

Seeing my orgasm sent Joshua into his own.  He flailed away as he screamed out in pleasure, his hips bucking uncontrollably.  It was fun watching his small body spasm madly as he came. 

I grabbed a shirt from the floor and wiped my chest.  “Holy crap.  It was like your dick exploded.  It went everywhere,” he commented.  “Why didn’t you eat some this time?” he asked.  He almost sounded disappointed.

I found a drop on my chest ate it.  Then I squeezed the last drop from my softening cock and licked it from my finger.  He smiled.  “Better?” I asked.  “I’ve been horny and edging for a while.  When you do that, you come way harder.”

“Edging?” he asked.  I guess his night of perusing the web didn’t teach him everything.

“It’s when you get close to having an orgasm and then stop.  You know, you get to the edge and then step back.  If you keep doing that over and over, for a long time, when you finally blow, it’s incredible.”

“I didn’t think of that,” he replied.  “I normally can’t wait for the ending.  It’s the best part!”

“I used to be like that.  You should try taking your time.  But you might want to give it a rest.  You’ve been doing it a lot.  Have you been using that light saber thing?”

“You mean Max?” he asked, grinning.

I was confused.  “I mean what?” I asked.

He grabbed his light saber from his desk and held it up.  “This you mean?  I named it Max,” he said.

“Nice.  But my dick is bigger than that you know,” I joked.  Honestly, it looked to be about the exact same size as mine, but I couldn’t be outdone by a candy dispenser! 

“I know.  I like it.  Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Doesn’t your boyfriend care about you doing this stuff with me?”

I took a deep breath.  “Well, I don’t really have a boyfriend right now,” I replied.

“What?  You made that all up?” he asked.

“No.  I HAD one.  But he dumped me about a week after I got back from Cozumel,” I explained.

“No way!  Why?!”

“It’s complicated,” I answered.  “And It sucks.  But I’m trying to patch things up.  And I have a friend who is trying to help.”

“Well, I would never dump someone as cool as you,” he assured me.  It reminded me of Spencer’s reaction when I told him about the break-up.  I just wish Cam was as enamored with me as Joshua or Spencer.  “I hope you get him back.  But until then, I’ll do this anytime.  It’s a lot more fun with you.”

“Thanks.  I’m even more fun than Jack off world?” I asked.

“Jackin’ World.  Not jack-off world,” he replied, shaking his head at my lack of knowledge.

“Whatever.  You know what I meant.  I better get to showering.  Later.”

“Bye Max.  Call me,” he begged, before adding, “anytime.”

As I showered, I wondered if I was doing the right thing by Joshua.  I felt good about teaching him things, especially since he was demonstrating an interest in boys.  But I was worried that the was becoming way more attached to me than I was to him.  My god!  He named his makeshift dildo after me.  It made me feel creepy in a way and I didn’t want to end up hurting him too.  I knew I needed to be careful.

As much as I enjoyed that session with Joshua, it was nothing compared to the electric sex that Cam and I had.  While it was satisfying, it left me longing for more – for what I once had with Cam, and Craig.  I sure hope Noah pulls off a miracle with Cam.

***

I barely got my list of chores done before Mom came home.  She surprised me.  She is rarely home before 5, and never on a Friday.  She almost always goes to happy hour with her girlfriends to celebrate the end of the week.  She came to me and gave me a hug.  “You’re early,” I said.  “I barely got my chores done.”

“I thought we could go to an early dinner.  How does Broder’s sound?”  Broder’s is my favorite Italian place in town.  Mom normally takes me there for special occasions.  It was a sign she was still worried about me after last night. 

I was pretty much over it.  In fact, I hadn’t thought about dad’s letter since I woke.  But, hey, I’m not going to turn down Broder’s amazing ravioli!  “Sounds great,” I replied.  “I’ll get dressed.”

***

Dinner was fantastic.  Mom didn’t bring up the letter, but we reminisced about some past vacations and other fun times and laughed a lot.  Something was different.  She was talking to me more like a grown up than like a kid; as an equal.  It was like she respected me more for some reason.  I was feeling closer to her than I could remember.  I contemplated telling her I was gay.  The timing seemed right.  I almost did it.  I was working up to it.  My heart was racing and my head was spinning.  It was on the tip of my tongue.  But, instead of telling her, I excused myself in a panic and headed to the men’s room.  I got up so quickly, I jarred the table and nearly knocked over our drinks. 

When I returned, our salad had arrived and my courage gone.  While we were eating, I got a text from Noah.  He wanted me to spend the night tomorrow to close out the last weekend of summer.  He told me his parents were going to celebrate their anniversary and spend a night in a ritzy downtown hotel.  I asked mom if it was okay.  “Of course, but you might need to find a ride,” she said, before hesitating.  “I have plans,” she added nervously.

“Going out with your friends?” I asked.

“No. Actually, I have a date,” she answered, hesitantly.

I was shocked.  Mom hadn’t mentioned even trying to date someone since everything started with dad.  “Wow.  That’s awesome,” I replied.  Maybe I had it wrong about why mom took me to Broder’s.  Maybe it wasn’t because she was worried about me and wanted to cheer me up.  Maybe it was because she felt guilty and wanted to break it to me that she was going on a date.  How long had she known about it?

“Really.  You don’t mind?  I was afraid you might not like me dating.”

“It’s just a date mom.  Who is it in anyway?”

“A friend of a friend of Marsha’s.  I’ve never met him.”

“Ooooh, a blind date even,” I teased.  “Living on the edge!”

“You really don’t mind Max?” she asked, unconvinced.

Other than the fact I am still in dumpsville and Mom has a date, I didn’t mind at all.  “No.  You deserve to have fun Mom.  Go enjoy yourself.  I’ll see if Jackson can come get me.”

***

Jackson was picking me up at 6:30, so I just had to get through a boring Saturday and then I would be having a great time with Noah.  And maybe with Jackson too.  I didn’t know if Jackson would hang out with us or if he had plans of his own.

I logged onto Grindr after lunch.  Chad had sent me a message.  “Want to meet tomorrow night?” he asked.  I could tell it was a serious invitation.  I didn’t know how to respond, so I just logged off.

Joshua texted me a while later with news that would provide me a few moments of laughter.  “Well, I won’t be jacking off any time soon,” was his message.  It was an odd way to start a conversation, but it was so on-brand for Joshua.  My first thought was that maybe his mom caught him and blew up on him or something.  But that wasn’t it at all.  “I burned my dick.”

“You did what???” I texted, wondering how that was even possible.

He called me instead of texting.  I didn’t answer with ‘hello.’  Instead, I immediately asked “How the hell?”

“Well,” he replied, with a sigh, “if you go on Jackin’ World, be very careful if you try the baggie and the mattress technique.”

“The what?” I asked.

“The baggie and the mattress.  It’s where you take a baggie, put some oil in it, then put it around your dick and stick it between your mattresses.”

“You do what?” I’d never considered anything that creative.

“It’s supposed to feel like fucking someone, especially if the mattress is heavy.  It has one of the highest ratings on the site.”

“Ratings?  Wait!  They have ratings?  What the fuck is it, Yelp?”  I made a mental note to check this site out later.

“Yeah, duh.  Didn’t you check it out?  Anyway, one of the comments suggested heating the oil up, so I put it in the microwave for a few seconds.  I guess I put in too long because when I put my dick in, it burned, bad.  I should have checked the temperature first, huh?”

“Holy crap!  Are you okay?  How bad is it?”

“It’s not that bad.  It’s just kind of red now.  I took a cold shower and it helped a lot.”

“Did it blister?” I asked, concerned for his cute little pecker.

“Nah.”

“Shit man.  Thank god.  How would you ever explain that one.”

“I know right?  It was a close call!”

I started laughing.  “Sorry man, but now that I know you are all right, it’s funny as fuck.”

“I know,” he replied.  “It IS funny.  Sorta.  I’ll laugh about it more in a couple days.  Hey Max?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad we became friends.  I wouldn’t have anyone else to laugh about this with,” he said before pausing.  “Sorry, that was too mushy, wasn’t it?”

“Nah, you’re fine.  I’m glad were friends too.  I’ll text you tomorrow to make sure your dick is okay.  I’m spending the night with my best friend.  Hopefully he is going to help me with my boyfriend problem.”

“Ah cool, see ya Max,” he said before hanging up.

I can’t believe he burned his dick.  Actually, I can.  I do see how humping a lubed-up baggie between the mattresses COULD feel amazing.  I just never thought of anything that crazy.  I can’t wait to tell Noah about it.  He’ll die laughing.  Maybe Noah and I can check out Jackin’ World tonight.  Maybe if we try some of their jerk off techniques, I can get Noah horny enough he will consider fucking me.  I threw a condom into my backpack of clothes, just in case. 

***

Mom was a nervous wreck before her date.  I think she changed outfits five times and redid her hair and make-up twice.  She kept asking me how she looked.  All her outfits looked equally fine.  “Relax,” I finally told her.  “You look great mom.”

I hung out in the living room while she waited for James, her date, to arrive.  I was curious to see what he looked like.  He reminded me of Paul Bunyan.  He was towering, probably 6’ 4” with a lumberjack build and a thick beard.  He was very sturdy.  I wouldn’t say he was fat, because a lot of it was muscle, but he wasn’t skinny either.  As I watched them meet, I laughed.  I think he was more nervous than mom.  He was shaking as he handed her a small bouquet of flowers.  How sweet.  He was nice enough.  He came into the living room and introduced himself, gripping my hand with a firm handshake.  I told them to have fun and closed the door behind them.  I watched them drive off in his truck, a newer black Ford.  I couldn’t believe it - mom was on a date!

***

Jackson was a few minutes late.  We talked about school starting on the way back to his house.  He was excited for his junior year.  He was sure he would make varsity basketball this year.

“I’ve been shuttling you around a lot lately,” he commented after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah, thanks.  I appreciate it.  Maybe my mom can give you some money for gas,” I replied.

“Or maybe you could come visit me in my room again,” he suggested shyly, blushing. 

I loved sucking Jackson off, but right now I felt like I should be careful.  The last thing I needed was Noah barging in on us.  He’s stuck with me so far, but seeing me sucking his big brother might be too much.  “Maybe.  We’ll see,” I answered. 

I followed Jackson into their kitchen and dropped my bag on the floor by the steps up to Noah’s room.  “They are in the basement,” he said.  They?  Who else was here besides Noah?  Did Jackson invite a friend too?  Did Noah finally grow some balls and invite Ashley over?

I bounced down the steps.  “Hey!  Hey!” I yelled, “let’s get this party started.” 

When I reach the door to their basement, I froze.  Sitting next to Noah on the couch, PlayStation controller in his hand, was Cam.

“Cam,” I said, shocked.  “What –“ I began to speak, before my words escaped me.

He was just as surprised.  “What’s he doing here?” he asked, angrily staring at Noah.

Noah stood up and threw his controller onto the chair.  “Both of you,” he said sternly, pointing finger at each of us.  “Sit down and shut the hell up, because I’m fucking tired of you both being so damn depressing to be around.”

*** End of Chapter 28 ***

Author’s Notes:

Thanks for sticking though this chapter.  For being long, there weren’t many developments in the central plot line, but hopefully some of the interactions with Joshua were fun enough.  Obviously, we are nearing the much-promised resolution.  The next chapter of Awakening will be the end - not of the story, but of the current drama. 

So, did you expect Noah to make such a bold play to get Max and Cam together?  What will he say to them?  Will it work, or is Noah crazy to think such a tactic will go over well? 

Finally, I’ve gotten many emails asking about the next chapter.  I’ve decided (better late than never) to start an email list of readers who would like to know when a new chapter is published.  If you would like to be included, drop me an email and I will add you. 

Comments as always encouraged: craigpnifty@protonmail.com