Chapter Twenty-Two

Travis mechanically washed and dried kitchenware, ignoring everyone around him as he stewed over last night's events.  Why do parents have to be such bastards? It's not as if I hurt Bobby. And besides, the brat deserved it.

"Kid, we both know you're full of it. You could have killed him."

But I didn't.

"Still, you crossed a line."

As if I need a lecture from you, too. Bye. Travis pictured walls rising in his mind and locked Prometheus in a cage. Prometheus raged, but his voice faded until it was gone, leaving Travis to resume dish duty. When Josh arrived at nine o'clock, Travis switched to ladling oatmeal until breakfast ended at eleven, and they changed over to lunch. He was cleaning down the food stations in preparation for the lunch crowd when Josh joined him.

"Done with dishes?" he said, scowling.

"Yeah. BT dubs, what crawled up your vajayjay today?"

Suppressing the urge to roll his eyes, Travis told him what happened last night.

"Dude! Not cool."

Travis paused his scrubbing. "You say that as if my actions weren't warranted."

"But he's family, and blood's thicker than water."

"Actually, the phrase goes, `the blood of the covenant of battle is thicker than the water of the womb.' Not that I'd expect you to know that."

"Hey, don't take your anger out on me. Remember what Dr. Dull taught us about finding constructive ways to channel our aggression."

Travis nodded. "Sorry. And speaking of the good doctor, we have class and therapy with him today."

Josh's mouth made an o-shape. "I legit forgot that was today. You think we have enough info for his assignment thingy?"

Shrugging, Travis said, "If we don't, we can bs our way through it."

"Right. Well, my pool should be delivered either today or tomorrow and once it's set up, I'll throw that pool party I mentioned. You still coming, right?"

"I'm grounded, remember?"

"So? YOLO, bro. Sneak out. What are they gonna do? Put ya on double secret probation?"

Travis laughed. "I love Animal House."

"Me too, and Revenge of The Nerds and Scary Movie."

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"Did we just become best friends?"

"Yep."

They high-fived and chuckled.

"Step Brothers is hilarious," Travis said, smiling.

"I know, right? If you tell me you love anime, comics, and Disney movies, I'm gonna freak."

"Nope. But I do like comics, graphic novels, cheesy horror, sci-fi, and kung fu movies."

"You killed my master. Prepare to die," Josh said, moving his lips in an impression of a bad dub. Travis laughed but caught Joan shooting them dirty looks, so he told Josh they needed to get back to work. As they cleaned, they discussed their top ten favorite films. Josh mentioned The Godfather, which started a heated debate on what the best gangster movie was.

Shaking his head, Travis said, "You're crazy if you think The Godfather is better than Scarface."

"And you're equally crazy if you think The Untouchables is better than Casino."

Travis shook his head, laughing. "Fine, you got me there. But can we all agree Goodfellas is better than Casino?"

Josh chuckled, his cheeks red. "Dude, you're funny AF."

"I'm funny how?" Travis said, doing a wise guy impersonation, "I mean funny like I'm a clown? Do I amuse you?"

"LOL, bro. Now go home and get your effing shine box."

They spent the rest of their time quoting movies and goofing off until it was time for Josh to leave. Travis felt empty once Josh was gone, but he carried on with his duties until his shift ended. Instead of having Joan call him a taxi as his parents told him to, he walked a few blocks away from the church and tried Popping home, as he'd come to call teleporting. Picturing his room in his mind, he closed his eyes and heard a faint pop. 

Opening his eyes, he found himself a block from home, dizzy but otherwise okay. With no electronics, he passed the time reading Beyond Good and Evil and Thus spoke Zarathurstra in the original German. In the past, he'd needed to stop to look up words in his German-to-English dictionary. But today, when he reached for the dictionary to look up terms he didn't know, they popped into his head as though they'd been there all along.  

Perhaps this is a new ability. Or maybe I'm regaining my memories before The Fire.

In any event, as he read, he made notes about the Superman and morality. Were things inherently good and evil, or as Oblivion and Nietzsche suggested, were they subjective? And if the latter were true, then who decided what was good and evil? Society, the authorities, the majority, or the individual? Furthermore, what criteria would they use?

He didn't yet know the answers to these questions, But Travis knew if he were in charge, things would be different. But that would require more power than he currently had, which raised another question: could he be trusted not to abuse such power?

"Travis, your ride's here," the babysitter called to him. He gathered his stuff and left.

***

 Dr. Dull had them do more breathing exercises and then asked each student to share a recent time they lost their tempers and how they'd dealt with it. It was mostly little things like people banging their thumb with a hammer while trying to hang up a picture, stubbing their toe or stepping on their kid's Legos, getting caught in traffic jams, etc. Then Travis recounted the incident with his brother, and the room went silent, all eyes on him.

Dr. Dull tutted. "Assaulting anyone, especially a family member, is unacceptable behavior, and I'm tempted to contact your probation officer." 

"Mother already called her, and she'll be meeting with me this Wednesday," he replied matter-of-factly. Dr. Dull used this as a teaching moment and asked the class for better ways Travis could have dealt with his aggression. After five minutes of being the center of attention, Travis said, "Can we move on?"

Dr. Dull nodded, and they spent the rest of class roleplaying different scenarios and how to de-escalate them. When class ended, Travis was drained from interacting with everyone and longed to go home, but he had therapy to deal with.   

 Travis sat in the plush chair, kicked off his sneakers, and, sighing, activated the footrest. 

"Long day?" Dr. Dull said.

"And then some."

"Travis, would you like to start the conversation?"

"If I must. Josh was born April 1, 2003, in Grosse Pointe Farms, Michigan. His mother and father are Lilith and Cain Giovanni, investment bankers with J.P. Morgan Chase, and are originally from Sicily, Italy. His best friends are David Green and Jason Miller. He likes anime, manga, comics--"

Dr. Dull raised his hand. "While it's nice to know you've completed my assignment, don't you think we should discuss you assaulting your brother?"

Drumming his hands on the armrest in annoyance, he said, "What's there to discuss? He antagonized me, so I retaliated."

"Travis, have my lessons not been sinking in? We don't solve our problems with violence."

"Tell that to Hitler, Hirohito, and Stalin."

Dr. Dull steepled his fingers. "Meaning?"

"To quote Heinlein: Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its best."

"Only because humans haven't evolved past their reptilian brains, but that's beside the point. Why did you think your actions were appropriate?"

"I'd like to know that, too," Josh said.

Travis stood, scowling, teeth bared, ready to rip out Josh's throat. "I don't need to explain my actions to anyone."

"God, you're so not who I thought you were. I can't believe you're the same guy who kissed me."

White-hot anger exploded in Travis's chest.  How dare he reveal something so private. "We didn't kiss!" he lunged for Josh, knocking his chair over, and they tussled to the ground.  

Dr. Dull separated them. "Joshua, please wait outside while I talk with Travis in private."

Josh wiped his busted lip. "Sure."

Once they were alone, Dr. Dull tried to engage Travis, but he remained silent.

"If you're not going to participate, then stop wasting my time. I'll let your judge know you are failing to cooperate, and--"

Travis spoke, barely above a whisper. "I thought I could trust him. I let him in, and he turned out to be like everyone else."

"How so?"

"First, we didn't kiss. I stopped before our lips touched. And the only reason I did that was because we were drinking vodka, and I felt sorry for him when he said he'd never been kissed. Is that clear?"

"I'm sensing major hostility here. Let me make this perfectly clear: anything you tell me in confidence stays here. Second, it's okay to be gay."

"I'm not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I like girls, too."

"Well, however you identify, know you are valid and worthy of love, dignity, and respect. Is Joshua the first male you've been attracted to?"

"First person, period."

"Okay, and why did you feel the need to attack him just now?"

 "First, he had no right to share that information. Second, he was wrong; we didn't kiss!" The pictures on Dr. Dull walls rattled.

Dr. Dull clasped his hands. "Settle down and tell me what happened."

Travis went over the events of the day, and at the end, Dr. Dull asked him why he ran away.

"Because it was a mistake."

"Wanting to kiss him?"

"Everything. People come, people go, all attachments are pointless."

"And why do you think that?"

"I don't think that; I know it. Besides, what's the point of befriending Josh when . . ."

Dr. Dull offered him some tissues. "Take your time and tell me when you're ready."

 Why am I even wasting my time here? I'm dying, so what's the point of anything?

"You look like you have something on your mind, son."

"I'm dying, okay? Happy now?"

Dr. Dull's water bottle sailed off his desk, clattering to the ground. "It would seem we have a bit of poltergeist activity. As to your dying, please explain."

Travis told him about his genetic disorder, and at the end of it, Dr. Dull nodded. "Confronting one's mortality is a lot for anyone to handle, let alone one as young as you. No wonder you're acting out. This doesn't excuse your actions, but I understand them, and you better now."

 Dr. Dull's timer went off. "We only have thirty minutes left. If you'd like, we could pick this up next week or use the remainder of the hour to talk?"

"Next week's good for me. I just want to get home."

"Understood," he said and slipped him his business card. "If you need someone to talk to or vent, I'm here."

Travis stuck the card in his wallet and used Dr. Dull's cell to call a taxi home. On the way out, he locked eyes with Josh. "He's ready for you. Josh remained silent.

  Travis held the gaze for three heartbeats before Josh turned and entered the office. Though he didn't want to admit it then, Travis could have spent eternity lost in those jade orbs.

 

Author's Note: We've reached the halfway point and things are only going to get crazier. Rest assured, Travis and Josh will get together before the end, though. Next time, Josh takes the hotseat with Dr. Dull and prepares for his pool party.

And remember to toss a few coins to the Nifty Archivist if you can (https://donate.nifty.org).