Chapter Twenty-Three

JJ slumped in his chair, slipped off his sandals, and wiggled his toes into the microfiber area rug.

"Care to tell me your recollection of events?"

"He came over, we did your assignment, and it got boring asking each other questions, so I suggested we play Never Have I Ever. That turned into Truth or Shots, and next thing I know, he's going in for a kiss. Then he backs away like I smacked him or something, and the kid's ghost." 

"Hmm," Dr. Dull said when JJ had finished. "And what made you think it was a good idea to introduce alcohol into the mix?"

"I thought it would loosen him up, and we'd have a good time."

"Why was that important?"

He faltered, then managed, "I wanted him to like me."

Dr. Dull nibbled on his pen cap and scribbled on a legal pad. "It's important that people like you?"

"I don't know. I guess?"

"Which is it?"

"Yeah, okay. I want people to like me so that . . . so that I won't be alone."

Dr. Dull scribbled on his legal pad. "So, you don't have many friends?"

"Tons, but they only like me because of all my stuff and the parties I throw, and `cause I'm funny. If they knew the real me, then they'd . . ."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"No, finish your thought."

"They'd hate me and wouldn't want me around."

"Okay, and who is the real you you're afraid they won't like?"

"I'm a geeky, dorky, spaz who likes DnD, sci-fi, and fantasy. And I'm . . ." 

"Joshua, it's all right. You're in a safe space."

A serious look came over JJ. "You promise you won't repeat what I'm about to tell you to anyone, even my parents?"

Dr. Dull smiled. "Yes."

"I'm gay, and I'm so in love with Travis that it hurts."

Without meaning to, JJ revealed everything about how he'd bullied Travis to be close to him and how he'd been stalking him for months. Afterward, he felt lighter than air but scared shitless.

"What should I do?"

"That's up to you to decide. However, I will say this: if you hope to have a relationship with Travis, platonic or otherwise, then you must be honest with him."

"And what if he doesn't want to be with me?"

"That's a risk you must take. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."

"That's about as true as fat bitches loving salads."

"I'm not saying you must tell Travis about your feelings for him this instant, but you should consider doing it before you fall further for him, only to discover he's not interested."

"Yeah."

"And promise me you'll stop going by his house and watching him without his consent. I think we're done for today. If you'd like to continue one-on-one sessions with me, I have an open slot Mondays from 5-6PM?"

"I'd like that."

Dr. Dull added him to his schedule and gave him his business card.

***

On the ride home, JJ had much to think about. What was more important to him: honesty or losing the boy he loved? He didn't know how Travis felt about him, and after today, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to be with him. But some part of his heart still swelled with joy at the thought of them kissing. His busted lip, however, reminded him Travis was a threat, and there was no telling what he might do if he found out the truth. No, JJ would hold off confessing his feelings until he knew Travis's feelings for him.

When his uber pulled up at the entry to his house, he spotted Marianna talking with a delivery person in clipped Spanglish.

"It's okay, Marianna. I ordered the pool."

"The piscina is yours?"

"Si, Si. But you have to sign for it, firmar," he said, miming signing. She nodded and signed the tablet, and the delivery person unboxed the pool. When she was done, he emailed several pool companies to get quotes for setting it up and maintaining it. That done, he went inside to eat. Then he read comics until he fell asleep.

The next morning, he was awakened by his parents' homecoming. "You simply must breakfast with us," his mother said with a slight slur.

"I can't. I have to get ready for community service."

She pursed her lips. "Nonsense. You can do that another time. Shower, dress in your formal attire, and meet us in twenty minutes so we can have a family meal at the country club. And do something about that lip of yours."

JJ rolled his eyes. Great, a day spent listening to them schmoozing people, then off to the junior members' lounge to hear an army of entitled brats complain about how their parents got them the 2016 Bugatti Chiron instead of the 2017. Fun.

JJ washed, then put some concealer on his lip and reported for duty, sporting his tailor-made black Armani suit with matching Italian leather Oxfords. He rode shotgun while his mother lunged in the back, sprawled on the bench seat. As soon as he was in the car, his mother started in on him. "I noticed you ordered a pool. Why?"

"Well, Mom. It's the middle of summer, we're in a heatwave, and since you won't allow me to get AC installed, a pool is the next best thing." He sighed loudly. 

His father glared at him. "Don't use that tone with your mother. We gave you that credit card, and we can take it away."

 Whatever. It's not like you care about me anyways. "Yes, sir. Sorry, Mom."

"That's better," his father said, then proceeded to lecture him on all the networking and internships he'd miss out on this summer due to his `silly' fight. 

"If you ask me," his mother said, "they shouldn't allow his type at AP Prep."

  JJ whipped around and gave his mom stink eye. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

Sighing, his father said, "Son, do we have to get into one of your social justice arguments? You know your mother meant his being poor, not his racial heritage."

Seeing his chance to one-up his father, JJ said, "Ha! Shows what you know. Travis's grandmother is Helena Aurum."

His mom laughed. "Dear, don't believe everything you're told. I've met Ms. Aurum, and there's no way that Turner boy comes from her stock."

He wanted to retort, but they'd arrived at the country club.

***

  Breakfast dragged on. What time his parents weren't networking or on their phones, they spent grilling him on his plans to make up for this summer.

"I'll look up internships, extracurricular camps, and college courses to take when I get home."

"You do that," his dad said, taking a bite of his bagel and lox.

His mom finished her glass of champagne and ordered another. "I trust you've cleaned your room per our last discussion?"

He wanted to roll his eyes but knew that would only earn him another lecture, so he counted to ten mentally until the urge to cuss her out passed. "Yeah, Mom. And if you don't believe me, you can see it when we get home."

"We'll both examine your room," his dad sad. "Now, why don't you go mingle with the other kids?"

Nodding, he trudged to the junior members' lounge. Upon entering, all eyes turned to him.

"Looks like the jailbird escaped," Adolfo said, and the others joined him in laughing at JJ. 

"Must be tough slumming it with the plebs," Kimiko said. "I'd rather kill myself than be stuck slinging soup all summer."

God, how he hated them. Adolfo and Kimiko ruled the junior members' lounge. Adolfo's father was a Spanish entrepreneur who'd invested in Google and Amazon early. Kimiko's father was a former yakuza boss--which Kimiko constantly reminded them of--who used his money to come to the US, where he started an import/export company that trafficked in gray market items.  

JJ answered their stupid questions about whether he had a probation officer and if he'd dropped the soap.

 If these are the future leaders of the free world, we're screwed. For the love of Kami, I'd rather be anywhere but here.

 He was contemplating strangling Adolfo with his tie when a server came on the intercom system and told them JJ's parents needed him as they had to leave ASAP. Fear quickening his steps, he rushed back to the dining room, where his parents looked crestfallen.

"Dear," his mom began as she scribbled her signature on the bill, "we just received an emergency call from our people in Dubai. The deal we were working on fell through, and we have to leave immediately to begin renegotiations. Sorry."

Typical. They're not home one full day and are leaving again? Forcing a smile, he said, "No problem. We can spend time together when you get back."

"That's the spirit, Joshy," his dad said and hugged him, pulling away almost as soon as he'd embraced JJ. The ride back was full of their promises to make this up to him, but he ignored them, going through the motions as they said their goodbyes.

Once his parents were gone, he returned emails with the pool places and had a guy out that day. The tech filled the pool, put in chlorine tablets, and told him the process for maintaining the pool's pH and cleanliness. 

"Can't I hire you to do all that?" he said, and the tech smiled, whipping out price charts. It wasn't his money, so JJ went with the platinum package, which included weekly cleanings and pH balancing. When the tech was done, he told JJ to give it a day for the chlorine to evenly mix into the water since the pool was so large. With that done, he called up his friends to organize the pool party. He told them not to invite anyone as he wanted it to be a small group, and he'd supply the food if they supplied the drinks. Jason said his older brother could score them beers and wine coolers for the girls. 

While he'd promised Dr. Dull to go easy on the alcohol, what harm could a few drinks cause?

***

 He was scrubbing dishes at St. Michael's when he caught Travis giving him weird looks. "Dude, what's your damage?" he shouted when it worked his last nerve.

"Nothing," Travis said, dumping a stack of dirty dishes on the counter. 

"Then why do you keep side-eyeing me?"

"No need for dramatics. I was merely curious as to why you weren't here yesterday." 

 An ember of hope flared in JJ's heart. "Miss me, huh?" he said, quirking an eyebrow.

"Not hardly. Thanks to your bailing, I had to pull double duty. You're welcome."

"God, you're such an ass. Go already."

Travis shrugged and went back to the front, returning a few minutes later with more dishes. When JJ saw them, he went off. "There's no way I can wash all those before my shift ends."

"That's why Joan wants me to help you. I wash half, you do the other?"

Sighing, JJ nodded. "FYI, my lip's feeling better, no thanks to you."

Travis started washing a pan and mumbled something.

"What?"

"I said . . . I'm sorry."

JJ didn't say anything and continued drying his pan.

"You don't look half-bad. Your lip, I mean," Travis added hastily.

  They worked in silence, and the whole time, JJ wondered what he saw in Travis.  He's such a jizz rag, but he did apologize. And it was totes wrong of me not to let them know I wasn't coming in. Maybe I should apologize?

"I'm sorry for bailing on ya. My parents made me go with them to the country club and wouldn't take no for an answer. Then they ditched me to go back overseas for who knows how long."

"Right," Travis said, adjusting his Ray-bans. "You know parents are the worst. They treat us like objects instead of persons with our own personalities and ambitions."

JJ nodded. "Exactly. From the moment we're born, they tell us we're the future, and then they treat us like crap."

"Preach it!" Travis said, and they laughed.

Wiping sweat from his face, JJ continued, "I'm more than old enough to make decisions about my life, thank you very much, Mom and Dad. They give me all the responsibilities of being an adult with none of the rights and privileges. How's that fair?"

"It's not. Like you said, we're the future, yet now that our time has come, they won't step aside."

"Exactly! They had their shot and screwed up the world. Now they have the nerve to expect us to clean up their mess. Talk about entitled. The least we should get out of the deal is power." The more JJ talked, the angrier he got.

 "A lion doesn't ask permission to roar," Travis said as he scrubbed a plate.

JJ looked at him sideways. "Huh?"

"Power cannot be given. It must be taken."  

Smiling, JJ said, "The Godfather III?"

"Bingo. Our generation has limitless potential, and that scares the old guard. They're set in their ways, content with the status quo. If we want change, then we must crack the world asunder and remake it in our own image."

JJ looked at Travis, awed . . . and a bit scared if he was honest with himself. "Bro, you're eloquent AF. You should legit become a politician."

Travis frowned. "One, telling a person of color they're eloquent isn't a good look. Two, I have neither the time nor inclination to bother with that."

JJ covered his mouth with his hands. "Shit, man. I didn't mean to offend you. I just meant you speak well, and I could listen to you talk all day."

JJ's face flushed, and he wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

Travis laughed. "Josh, you are something else."

Looking up, JJ wondered what Travis meant. "Um, do you like me--I mean like talking with me?"

Scrunching up his face, Travis replied, "I don't not like talking with you."

It's a start, I guess.

   JJ looked at the floor, mustering up his courage to form the words caught in his throat. "So, they finally delivered my pool and set it up. It'll be ready tomorrow. D-do you want to come to the party this Friday?" he said.

Travis looked at him for a second. "I'm grounded, remember?"

JJ's heart threatened to burst from disappointment. He wanted to fall into the center of the Earth. "Okay. I guess--"

"But I'll swing by if I can."

JJ smiled wide. "Look at you, breaking the rules."

 "You're a bad influence on me."

"Oh, you just don't know," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Travis smiled wryly. "You're vexing but oh so intriguing, Joshua Joseph Giovanni."

 He remembered my full name? Now I can die happy.

 Before JJ could ask Travis what he meant by that, Joan told them it was almost time for them to leave. They still had a few dishes to go, but working together, they knocked them out and went to get their timesheets signed. 

  "Later," Josh said as they parted ways. Travis nodded and smiled, and a warmness filled JJ's chest.

***

After lying in bed awhile, JJ had called up the Squad and David and Jason; he put them on a conference call, and they set their squad goals for the day.

Since it was supposed to be in the high nineties that day, they would chillax in JJ's pool, listen to music, and catch up. Marianna had the day off, so they were on their own when it came to food. They settled on pizza from Little Caesars: one vegetarian pie for Rachel and Brianna, meat lovers for the men, and a cheese pizza for David. That settled, they ended the call to get ready.

JJ cleaned the house a bit, but the whole time his mind was on Travis. Would he come? And if he did, how would his friends react?  

At a quarter to five, he slumped on the couch, sweat-drenched, red-faced, panting. Even with the industrial fans going and all the windows open, it felt like he was vacationing on the Sun. He was so tempted to use his credit card to have an AC unit installed. But he could already hear his parents lecturing him about wasting money. The way they acted, you'd have thought they were poor or something. Granted, they weren't Helena-Aurum rich, but then, most people weren't.

He still couldn't believe his Travis was heir to the Cadmus Fortune. Hell, with that much dough, Travis could've had him iced 1,000 times over, but he didn't act like any of the rich kids JJ's parents forced him to network with.

And that was one of the reasons he liked Travis. JJ could be himself around Travis without worrying about being cool or bringing shame to the Giovanni name. There were no games with him. If Travis thought something was dumb or boring, he said so. None of the passive-aggressive gossip and backstabbing that was common with the kids at the country club or the functions his parents made him attend.

Brianna's squeaky voice coming over the intercom interrupted his thoughts. He checked his smartphone; they were twenty minutes early.

After buzzing them in, he led the girls to the guest room while he, Lance, David, Jason, and Henry changed into shorts. He couldn't help sneaking a peek at them and was happy that he wasn't the smallest in the room.

Once dressed, they marched to the pool, and Henry did a cannonball off the ladder, soaking the girls.

Rachel shot him a scathing look. "Boy, you know how long it's gon' take me to fix this?"

"Why'd ya come to a pool party if you didn't want to get wet?"

"I can't even . . . ooh!"

JJ got between them, which wasn't an easy feat, with Henry outweighing him by at least fifty pounds. "This is a drama-free zone. Henry, if you can't stop being a dick, then GTFO."

Henry raised his hands. "Who threw sand in your vag?"

He ignored the dis. "All I'm saying is stop being such a jerkass all the time."

Lance laughed. "Someone's on his period."

JJ cupped his nuts. "Both of you can suck it."

Henry's laughter died in his throat, and he glared at JJ. "We was joking. Damn, we haven't seen you all summer, and you acting hella petty."

"You can eat a bag of dicks. And FYI, I've been blowing up your cells, but you've been ignoring me. Or did you forget that?"

Jason stepped between JJ and Henry. "Jesus, guys. It ain't that serious."

David nodded. "Jason's right. Ya'll are acting like this is one of those dumb preteen dramas Asher and Shari watch. We're all friends here, so chillax."

Henry's face contorted like he'd eaten a mouthful of Sour Patch Kids. "He started it."

Brianna cut in. "Girls, you're both pretty. Now, are we gonna enjoy this pool or what?"

JJ looked from her to Henry, then stuck out his hand. "We cool?"

Hesitating a moment too long, Henry slapped palms with him. "We're cool."

He nodded, and a splash war commenced, the girls and Jason against the others. David sat out because his leg was still in a cast. And though Rachel complained about her hair, she got into the action.

A few hours passed, and they decided to grab dinner. 

JJ snagged the keys to his father's jag and drove the three blocks to the pizza parlor. Usually, he hated any pizza that wasn't made by a fellow full-blooded Italian, but he'd make do for the sake of his friends.

At seven, Lance left, saying he had to clean his room. Henry followed soon after, excusing himself to work out, and David and Jason left shortly thereafter.

When it was only the three of them, the mood changed.

Brianna and Rachel kept shooting each other looks until finally, Rachel said she had to go water her neighbor's plants. No sooner had she gone than Brianna pounced on JJ, her lips crashing into his.

What the actual fuck?

He pulled away. She stared at him, mouth gaping, eyes like UFO's, confusion all over her face. "Don't you like me?"

"It's not you . . ."

"Then what? Is there another girl? Cuz I'll cut a bitch. For real, for real."

He hesitated a moment. Should he tell her the truth? Swallowing a lump in his throat, he said, "Another guy, actually."

She laughed, but when he didn't join in, she stopped. "You serious?"

He nodded.

"Who is he?"

"Travis Turner."

"Oh," she said, and that single syllable conveyed so much pain.

"Are you mad?"

"I'm so beyond mad, they have to invent a new word. How could you not tell me this?"

Fear and worry that she might out him to the others sprang up inside him. "I didn't know how."

"No, I mean, how could you think it would matter to me? You like guys? Big whoop."

He smiled. "We're cool?"

"Yup. Though your taste in guys sucks."

"Bitch," he said, and they shared a gut-busting laugh until they had tears rolling down their cheeks. 

"Let's not tell the others just yet, okay?"

"Deal. And if Matthew or Henry give ya any crap, let me know, and I'll kick their ass. Real talk."

They hugged, and she apologized for kissing him. As he cleaned up the mess from the party, he couldn't help smiling. Things were awesome . . . so that could only mean they wouldn't last.