For as long as Felix and I have been friends, I've known almost of all his likes and dislikes, hobbies and everything else about him. However, I couldn't avoid the changes he'd done to me and the ones each of us went through in our own separate lives.

Things changed and they changed faster when I wasn't looking or when I simply avoided seeing them while too concerned with the changes in me.

Perhaps, I did some changes in him as well without even intending to do so and being oblivious to how his eyes started avoiding mine and how he'd listen to his iPod with his head resting on his arms and pretending to be asleep.

I started noticing then, but it was too late.

"It's either you're avoiding me or you're hiding something from me."

William looked up from where he was sitting at our school's playground. As I've began to be less mindful of the changes that kept its pace in me, it became easier for me to notice the other important things going on around especially with the people I care about.

"Hey, Chase," he said and smiled.

"I don't think you're avoiding me," I told him. "I do think that you're terrible at keeping secrets."

"Huh?"

I sighed and sat beside him. He kept his eyes on me with his legs brought close to his chest and his arms embracing them.

"You think I won't notice?" I asked.

"Notice what?" he said, his voice sounding infallibly innocent but noticeably reluctant.

"Here," I said and handed him half the sandwich I had for lunch that I saved for him alone. "And don't tell me you're not hungry."

He looked down at the sandwich, hesitated for a bit and took it. He smiled thankfully and started eating his way through my roast beef and cheddar sandwich.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked and settled my chin on my arms above my knees, much like how I saw him earlier.

He swallowed a lump and said, "I didn't want you to know."

"And you think I'd be okay with that?"

He took another bite and shook his head. I sighed, more from how he ate with crumbs all over his lips. He was such a messy kid sometimes. No wonder he didn't mind my cum on his lips before.

"What?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"You look like you have a fever."

I shook my head quickly and stole my eyes away from him. He giggled when he saw the pout on my lips.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "for not telling you."

"Next time you do something like this, I won't give you anything to eat."

"Okay."

I looked back at him, now halfway through the sandwich but he didn't show that he was hungry or that he skipped lunch altogether. What gave away his secret was the rumbling in his tummy and the sandwich he left uneaten in his lunchbox.

"Did you make that?" I asked, referring to the sandwich that was inside his open lunchbox right beside him.

"It's s'posed to be ham and cheese," he said. "Too much cheese, not enough ham."

"I bet you don't know anything about sandwiches."

"I do know one thing," he said as he handed me his lunchbox and I started fumbling inside it. "I don't like the ones I make."

I shrugged and took out the ham and cheese, bit off its edge and struggled to get it through my throat. I tried not to make a face, but when William started laughing at me, I couldn't keep how I looked a bit...disgusted.

"Too much cheese, dude," I told him. "I don't taste any ham in there."

"We ran out of ham this morning," he said. "Dad's gonna do the grocery later."

I put the rest of his sandwich back in his lunchbox and gave it to him. By now, he was two bites away from finishing the other half of my lunch.

"So why give up all your lunch money?" I asked. "With how freaking rich you are, why settle for a sandwich you don't even know how to make?"

He took the second-to-the-last bite, chewed, swallowed and looked at me as if the answer to my question was as clear as a cloudless day.

"I thought you know why," he said. "Or did you just notice that I didn't eat my lunch."

He was right. I knew why he didn't have any lunch money with him or why he settled for too much cheese and some slice of ham that was next to nothing. However, I wanted to hear the reason directly from him to see if he trusted me enough for him to tell the truth.

"I do know, but..."

"It's no big deal," he interrupted. "Besides, it's all part of my promise to you."

"Not if you're gonna keep on skipping lunch and giving all your allowance to those assholes."

"That way," he insisted, "they'd stop bothering you and Felix. Let them have all the sugar they want. I don't mind. I'll just learn how to make a proper sandwich next time."

"Not a chance, Willy," I argued. "I'd rather get pissed on by the three of them than to see you without anything for lunch. And why not let your mom make your lunch for you?"

William was just starting to make himself disappear, but before he'd completely vanish, I knew what his answer may have been.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"It's cool," he whispered, "been six years since she died anyway."

"Is that why your dad is acting...strange?"

He gently shook his head and said, "He's been like that since forever, but I don't hate him for it. He just wants the best for me is all."

I nodded and kept quiet. After a few minutes, I stared at Willy and asked, "I can't talk you out of it, can I?"

Frankly, I wanted him to stop bribing Dennis, Patrick and Gregory with his allowance just to keep them away from Felix and me. I wanted to deal with those assholes my own way, but my wingman seemed decided with what he was doing and there was no way of changing his mind.

"Nope," he confirmed.

"Then at least let me share my lunch with you," I told him.

"Really?" he perked up. "I mean...okay."

I giggled and said, "Was the sandwich really that good?"

He nodded happily with the most beautiful smile I could ever picture on his face.

"It's the least I can do as your wingman," he added. "So all you have to deal with is Felix."

"Yeah and speaking about him..."

William's eyes avoided mine and I could tell that he was deeply sorry for the other thing he did. My wingman, it seemed, avoided not only me for the past week but also Felix. And I only noticed it an hour earlier, right after school ended.

For the past week, Felix avoided talking to me and evaded all my advances toward him. I couldn't blame him though. Besides the fact that he wanted to prove that he wasn't supposed to like me back, he also set forth a condition so that I'd hear him sing during the auditions. Inasmuch as I didn't want to agree with him, I had no choice but to comply. Otherwise, he wouldn't have shown up an hour earlier to sing his part.

Hear that, Chase?
Do it and I'll be there.

That was what his recording said at the end. The rest of it...I couldn't remember how he got his hands on.

"Why didn't you come to the auditions?" I asked, turning my thoughts back to my wingman.

"I forgot it was today."

I sighed frustratingly before he took back what he said.

"Felix told me not to go," he corrected and I eyed him questioningly.

"He did?" I asked and he nodded. "Did he tell you why?"

"Yep."

"Then why?" I hurriedly asked.

"Something to do with you," he said as he pointed his finger at me with his blue eyes staring into mine.

"With me?"

"Here," William said as he took his phone out and scrolled through several messages before he got to his conversation with Felix. "See?"

If u lyk him, Felix's text read, go 2 the auditions.

"I...I don't get it," I uttered before glancing back at William who was staring at the playground that was steadily becoming abandoned with the other kids getting picked up or walking down the sidewalk.

"Felix knows that I like you," he clarified. "But I don't want him to think that."

"So...you didn't go to the auditions so he won't think that you...uh..."

"Like you," he finished off for my sake. "But..."

"You like me," I pointed out. "Isn't that what you said?"

"Kinda."

Without me holding onto him, William would've already made himself inexistent several minutes ago. However, I refused to just let him leave me with words that sounded so unsure when he said it.

"I told you it's cool," I said. "But...Willy..."

"Yeah, yeah," he dismissed with a nonchalant voice. "You can't like me back coz you already like Felix so much."

I didn't say anything. Instead, I focused on how his hair grew a bit longer from the first time I met him. His curly fringe reached over his eyelashes and his blonde hair curled down his neck in the gentlest way ever leaving a beautiful outline of his nape.

"Did he get the part?" he asked, clearly referring to the results of the auditions.

Earlier, we were told that whoever got to sing the solo would be notified and have their name posted next week. However, with what happened at the auditions and how everyone did their best or worst, those who tried for the solo part already knew who got it.

I cleared my throat which made William look back at me expectantly.

"So?"

"Uh..."

"Felix didn't get it?" his worried and surprised voice asked.

"Well, sort of," I answered. Sighing, I added, "Yeah. He didn't get it."

It was really a sad turn of events. When Felix sang his heart out, I knew for sure that he'd get the solo. However, someone bested him and now he'd be left to join the rest of those who auditioned to sing some other songs as a group.

William almost stood up in disbelief when he yelled, "Who got it? I'll kill the bastard!"

With my eyes wide-open at him and my mouth hanging dry, I mumbled, "I did."

Only a few things could render such silence in the world. A few things in which the earth stopped spinning for a moment and the universe had all its stars gazing down upon those few things. With how utterly silent William was as his mouth formed an `O' along with his blue-glazed eyes, I knew right then that the stars hiding in daylight had all their twinkling eyes on me. As for the earth...I wondered how my seconds more it would take to lengthen this day.

"YOU WHAT?"

Hear that, Chase?

Yes, Felix. I heard it all too loud. My own voice, which William told me that you loved to hear, got the part of singing that dreadful solo for Christmas.

I wanna have friends to begin with. Friends who unmindfully kept their arms over my shoulder while laughing all the way to play games and get drunk on sugar. And the three of them were nice enough to have me join their joyous company.

* * *

"Earth to Chase..."

"What?" I annoyingly asked as I got disturbed from my daydreaming.

"Is it a G or a C?"

I sighed at William and went over the sheet of paper in my hands. On it was some printed guitar chords that I was trying to get my wingman to learn. He was, in his own words, an amateur guitarist and it was to my luck that he knew how to strum a guitar. Otherwise, I'd have no one to help me out with the second part that I knew Felix was waiting for me to do. He said it himself in the recording he gave me. Well, he didn't really say it. He just hinted that I forgot something while I tried remembering what it was but failing to do so each time I went on to daydream.

"G then a C," I answered. "It's not that hard to remember, is it?"

William sent me an annoyed look, barely keeping his pout unnoticeable, before going back to strumming the intro of the song we were practicing. With how the auditions turned out, I should've been practicing my solo part. However, some things were more important than stealing the spotlight from someone who clearly deserved to be heard after so long.

"G...and C," William mumbled as he did the strumming. "Okay, your turn."

I cleared my throat as William paused for a bit. When he struck the next chord, the words started spilling slowly from my mouth. Felix said he loved to hear me sing. I didn't believe him. But it turned out that he wasn't alone. Our musical director also loved to hear my voice during Christmas recital.

"You're choking on your lyrics, dude," William pointed out as he stopped mid-verse.

"I don't sing, okay?"

"Then how come you got the solo part?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "Maybe Felix just didn't give it his best or..."

"Or you're just pretty good at singing," he finished on my behalf. "Okay. G or C?"

I sighed frustratingly and told him, for the millionth time, that it was a G then a C. He giggled and nodded before starting with the intro again. We barely had a day to practice and both of us were steadily messing things up. William wasn't an amateur guitarist. He sucked. I wasn't supposed to be singing. I was only supposed to listen.

"You think this will work?" I asked instead of singing the first verse.

"I hope so," my wingman truthfully said. "Or else, it'd be embarrassing."

"I'm the one who'll be singing," I argued. "All you have to do is play."

"I know, I know," he grumbled.

"From the start, okay?" I said and we both sighed in unison.

It was going to be one long day inside my bedroom.

* * *

"...and to not let you..."

* * *

"Uhm..."

Once again, William unknowingly disturbed my thoughts as he shifted closer to my side and in front of the huge mirror up in my room.

"It's a G, right?" he asked. "Then a C?"

I nodded and turned my gaze to him. He looked overly handsome in the powder blue shirt he wore and the loose shorts that went just an inch below his knees. Holding his acoustic guitar beside him, it was as if he was headed for some concert not far away. Add to that, his hair was styled in such a recklessly adorable manner that had his blonde fringe brushed to one side. He looked like a lost little rock star while I looked horrible, in my own opinion.

"You're overdoing it," he said.

"I am?"

"Yep."

I sighed and took off the necktie I was planning to put on.

"Just be yourself, Chase."

"I am myself."

"Not when you're trying so hard to look good in a suit."

I glared at him and he laughed.

"What do you think I should wear, huh?"

He tiptoed and whispered, "Nothing, if you ask me."

I almost slapped him, but held back when his laughter clearly told me that he was kidding. Instead, I walked over to my bed in my messed up suit that actually made me look like I was dressed for a funeral. My funeral, if I really had to think about it.

"You sure you wanna be seen wearing that?" William asked from where he stood.

"Not really," I admitted.

"Then don't. Just wear a t-shirt or something."

I nodded and eventually complied, changing into some plain old shirt and denims.

"Felix wouldn't mind seeing you in any clothes," William said as I changed unmindfully in front of him. When I only had my underwear on, he added, "Or even without one."

I glared once more at him, but he already succeeded at making my member twitch a little at the thought of standing naked in front of a wide-eyed Felix Corbel.

When I finally thought I looked good enough for tonight, I took the liberty of chasing after what I forgot that Felix made me remember.

* * *

`Died,' I thought to myself and chuckled, hearing none of our teacher's lame introduction and more of the thoughts inside my head. `I bet he's an orphan and doesn't want to make friends. Well, screw you. I don't want to be your friend anyway.'

I was beginning to fall asleep if it wasn't for someone poking my side. I glared at the girl beside me, but she only gestured for me to look to the front and I did...dreadfully so.

"...Corbel," the new kid said, his head definitely hanging low and his eyes distracted by none that settled on him.

Our teacher cleared her throat after a couple of minutes of waiting for the new kid to continue, but it seemed that the boy just wanted to quickly take a seat.

"Okay, Mr Corbel," she awkwardly said, "You can sit in front of Mr Logan. Chase Logan?"

I absently raised my hand to indicate where I was and it was then that I locked eyes with the new boy.

"Right over there," she said as she gently patted the kid's back and urged him to walk toward the offered desk. "Now I want all of you to take your time and say hi to Felix before the day ends, got it?"

"Yes Ms Lorraine," the whole class chanted except me.

As Felix went for the desk right in front of me, I couldn't help but to keep staring at him and to notice how skilfully he avoided my gaze. With his head kept low and his auburn hair covering his eyes partly, he was surely making it hard for anyone to offer a well-intended greeting.

As for myself, my heart was in a race to the death against the thrashing thoughts in my head. With so much going on inside me, I couldn't even utter a single word, let alone offer a smile before Felix pulled his seat out and settled himself as if it was just any normal day for him.

* * *

"Okay," William mumbled and reminded me yet again of where we were. "G then C."

I nodded at him, though I was pretty unsure with what we were about to do. I took a deep breath in and so did he, both of us finding that much needed push in each other's shadowy eyes. And as the night settled its coolness over our heads and shoulders, I heard William's gentle strums filling the silence of our neighbourhood and urging the words out of my mouth.

Unsurprisingly, when I started to sing the first verse, the lights went on inside Felix's bedroom and their front door opened to reveal two long shadows creeping outside to see us. That wasn't the only thing we saw. One by one, as the night fell deeper past eight, more doors opened and more shadows crept out of their homes to see for themselves what was unfolding just below Felix's bedroom window.

I forgot, but I was starting to remember.

But did he ever feel the same way?

* * *

"I can't believe we pulled that off," my wingman happily said as he set his guitar by his side. "I can't believe you pulled that off!"

"I'm doomed," I uttered, mostly to myself as I hid my face in my hands.

"No you're not," William argued. "You were awesome!"

"They took vines Willy!" I yelled out of frustration. "For all I know, they're tweeting about some weird kid who was hopelessly singing his..."

"His what?" William asked coyly as I stopped blabbering.

"...nothing."

He started giggling and elbowing my side, saying, "It's not nothing when you say it like that."

"Oh, shut up!" I shouted and pushed him away from me and toward the other end of the couch.

Out of nowhere, a throw pillow hit my face. It didn't hurt, but it annoyed the hell out of me. I returned fire and shot two more pillows at William who was curling his legs up to his chest and laughing as if he was having the best time of his life. Three pillows retaliated their way to me and before long, we were both slamming pillows on each other until a seemingly blatant voice disturbed us.

"Should I get you boys anything else?" Felix's mom asked as she set a tray of warm milk on the coffee table in front of us with a plate of cookies.

William and I stared at each other and we felt mightily embarrassed by our misbehaviour. We set our pillows aside and straightened our clothes.

"N-no, ma'am," I stuttered. "Thank you."

"Oh, please," she dismissed and giggled. "Don't be too formal. You boys gave a very good show for tonight so just relax, okay?"

We nodded stiffly.

"Anything you need, ask me," she said as she started for the kitchen. "I'll be in here."

"Uhm..." I uttered.

"Oh, right," she realized and added, "Felix will be with you as soon as my husband is finished with him."

I gulped and started entertaining thoughts of what Felix must be going through up in his bedroom alone with his dad. Was he getting scolded? Whipped? Incarcerated? C-castrated?

"Yoohoo," William called out to me as he waved a hand in front of my face.

"What?"

"You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Felix is in trouble and it's all my fault!"

"Relax, Chase," he said and reached for his glass of milk and a cookie. "Have some milk."

"I'd rather get drunk."

"As fun as that sounds, I think it's better that you're not." He handed me my glass of milk and I took it reluctantly. "Don't embarrass yourself in front of his folks."

Good point. I've got to hand it to my wingman. Though he was pretty much just a child, he was mostly rational. I forgave him for his impetuousness and irrationality back in their house when he took me to meet his dad and since then, he's become more of an advisor to me.

I took a sip and a cookie which did help me calm down a little. Still, Felix was taking longer than expected. I kept glancing toward the stairs that led to their second floor and tried to narrow the sounds I was hearing to the gentle whispers that must have escaped from his closed bedroom.

"Cute boy sings his heart out."

"Huh?" I asked and stared expectantly at William. He showed me his phone and the tweet he was reading.

"See?"

Oh fuck.

A blurry snapshot of me and William was already on Twitter and it was gaining a steady audience.

Shit.

"#InvisibleNoMore," William read. "Seems like it, don't you think? It's already been retweeted seven times."

"No way!" I contended. This was so not happening.

"And you're also on Instagram and Facebook and Snapchat and Vi..."

I silenced William as I took his phone and scanned through all the posts about what we just did earlier. There were several pictures, some blurry and some clear as day, that showed me singing from below Felix's bedroom window. Anybody who read them and knew us would definitely recognize us.

It was going to be the end of the world. For all I knew, Felix's world was already being destroyed up in his bedroom.

I slumped back on the couch and stared hopelessly at the ceiling. William took his phone from my hand and put it away.

"I knew I shouldn't have done that," I mumbled.

"You did anyway," he said and I grew too tired of glaring at him. "You didn't tell me why though."

I sighed and despite of not wanting to tell William the whole truth, I saw no purpose in hiding anything from him anymore. Besides, we were on the social media now.

"I promised something to Felix," I whispered. "Before they moved away, I told him that I won't let him forget me and he made sure of that by recording a song I did for him...so that he could listen to it every time."

"Oh...," he silently uttered. "But...what does it have to do with what you did earlier?"

"What we did," I corrected him. "Anyway, I was eight when I gave that promise so I sound a whole lot different now than before. And...and maybe that's why Felix forgot."

"That's kind of silly."

Nevermind being tired of glaring. I sent him my most evil look while he just shrugged his shoulders and took another sip of his milk.

"You know why I think it's silly?" he asked and I kept my steady eyes on his. "It's coz you blame yourself too much. Felix is like this now coz I did this...blah, blah, blah. Grow up, Chase. Not everything is your fault. Felix didn't forget just coz your voice changed. He forgot coz..."

William stopped midsentence and I saw his eyes staring blankly past me. I looked to my other side and saw Felix standing at the top of the stairs and looking as if his world did end in the worst possible way. Everything about him changed from how he looked just an hour ago. His eyes, his lips, his flustered cheeks...none of it was the Felix I saw earlier from his bedroom window.

"Hi," he mumbled, almost too quietly for us to hear.

"Hey," I said. "Uhm..."

His dad appeared from behind him and he patted Felix on the back before leaning in to whisper something to his son. Whatever it was, it only made the look in Felix's eyes worse than just a few seconds ago. The man went downstairs and nodded toward us before heading into the kitchen.

"Can we...," Felix hesitated, "can we talk in my bedroom?"

"Uhh...you mean with me or Willy?" I asked. "Both of us?"

Felix sighed dejectedly and said, "With you, Chase." He looked toward William and added, "Is that okay, Wil?"

"Fine by me," William said. "I can just go home and..."

"No. Stay," Felix insisted. "It won't take us long, right Chase?"

I looked at William before glancing back toward Felix. "I guess so," I answered.

"C'mon. We don't have all night," Felix reminded as he walked back to his bedroom and I followed him after I sent William an apologetic look.

"Have fun!" my wingman called out, but he was already out of my sight for me to scowl at him.

Inside Felix's bedroom, it didn't surprise me that he was already sitting right beside his open window as if reliving what happened earlier except for the fact that I wasn't singing my heart out from below. His back was turned to me and it seemed like he wasn't interested in talking.

"Felix?" I asked as I walked inside and closed the door behind me.

"...I hate you," he said without even the slightest reluctance.

I stood like a statue, afraid of causing him any more pain than I already was giving him. His own world was shattered and it was all my fault. I deserved his hatred if he had nothing else to give me. At least, he'd make me feel something in return.

"I thought I hate you," his slowly trembling voice repeated and it was then that I stopped being a statue and started walking toward where he sat. "No, stop!" he yelled and looked at me, holding me in place.

"But..."

"Please, Chase," he begged. "You've done enough."

"No, I haven't," I reasoned. However, if he meant that I've done him enough damage, then I surely have.

"I mean it," he insisted, fighting back the shaking of his voice. He slowly pushed himself up from where he sat and walked toward me. "Why...why can't you just leave me alone?" he started yelling as he moved closer. When we were both face to face, he looked up to my eyes and asked, "Why can't you just let me forget you?"

Simple, really.

"Coz I promised not to let you forget me," I told him. "I know I forgot about it, but I didn't mean to. I'm sor-..."

Felix didn't let me finish when he pushed me hard against my chest and made me stumble a few steps back. His green eyes burned furiously as he moved toward me again and kept on shoving against my chest and slamming his fists.

Despite the urge to choke and lose my breath, I hardened my resolve and took everything he threw at me. A couple times my feet shuffled to the side as I lost balance, but Felix was relentless with his attack. Suddenly, I felt myself falling backward as my legs hit the edge of something quite hard. And as I fell, Felix continued and my flailing right arm accidentally reached for his back and pulled him toward me. Surprisingly, we ended up having a soft landing on his bed.

Even as I lay there with him on my chest, he kept on slamming his fists on it and mumbling some incoherent words. After a while, he started to calm down and I began to slowly catch my breath. A few deep breaths and I could finally feel his weight on top of me.

"F-Felix?" I nervously asked.

"Y-you know why I hate you?" he sort of sniffled on my shirt.

"N-no," I told him. "Is it okay if I ask why?"

He gently nodded, but kept his face buried on my chest.

"B-because it...it was all my fault, but...," he paused and slowly lifted his head for me to see his face partly. "But you didn't blame me."

"That's coz it's not your..."

`Shut up, okay?!" he yelled and I nodded out of fear. "I couldn't keep my promise. I tried to forget you, but...but when I came back, you didn't even yell at me or blame me for anything. I did everything to forget you, but you...you weren't even mad at me."

"I couldn't be mad at you," I assured him. "Ever."

He shook his head gently and continued, "That's why I hate you. You weren't mad. You didn't blame me for anything, but...but you also didn't talk to me."

"I'm so-..."

He shushed me up with a finger to my lips.

"It's okay, really," he said with a sad smile on his lips. "I didn't deserve to be your friend again. That's why I couldn't talk to you. Or look at you."

"Felix," I mumbled with his finger still on my lips. "I'm really so-..."

"Shut up," he whispered and covered my mouth with his palm. "You're not s'posed to say that. I should say that. I should be sorry."

I shook my head at him but he kept his hand firmly on my mouth.

"One good thing about knowing you're invisible," he continued, "is that you can see everyone else and you think, somehow, that they're not like you." He chuckled lightly when he saw me squinting my eyes in confusion. "I know why you couldn't talk to me and it isn't because you hated me, but because you hated yourself."

Puzzle piece by puzzle piece, I began to understood what Felix was telling me. All those years of avoiding him was only for me to avoid myself. And all those same years of him avoiding me was because he felt guilty and conflicted with what he did.

Truthfully, I didn't blame him when he stopped contacting me and I ended up being blocked by him and without any means of reaching him. I believed it was my fault. Perhaps, I was starting to make him feel awkward or annoyed when it took me so long to put down the phone when we called each other or when I couldn't stop texting him nonsense and stalking his one and only social media profile on Facebook.

Maybe I was holding him back when I should've let him be with his new friends and have fun with them. A friend you can touch is so much better than a virtual one, I started to believe. What did he need me for if I couldn't be there to share those same earphones or to even just bump fists with him?

Eventually, I considered, he'd forget me so why shouldn't it be sooner? We'd lose contact and we'd grow apart. There was no use in clinging to that smile of his that offered nothing but promised everything. I felt pathetic and worst of all, I still couldn't stop thinking about him.

I would've been happier if he stayed in my thoughts. At least, he'd soon be a distant and happy memory. However, when he started messing up with my chest, I began despising myself even more for being so weak as to finally let him confuse how my heart should beat.

None of it was his fault. Everything happened inside my thoughts and my chest and I could've done something to avoid that. Instead, I lost to my own battle and just chose to walk away when I shouldn't have.

None of it was his fault, but Felix insisted otherwise.

"I'm sorry for making you feel that way," he said as his hand slowly slipped down from my mouth. "I'm really, really sorry."

"It's not yo-..."

"Just say you forgive me, okay?" he almost yelled again. "Don't take the blame all to yourself. Save some for me!"

I would've laughed at how he seemingly wanted to be selfish, but he was dead serious with what he just said. I sighed, smiled a little and told him, "Okay. I forgive you."

To my surprise yet again, his head pressed onto my chest as his arms wiggled their way under my shoulders. He was hugging me and what else could I do but to hug him back?

"You're a meanie, Chase," he mumbled after some time of silence.

"Huh? What did I do? I swear, I didn't mean it."

He giggled and we locked gazes once more.

"Remember that sleepover we just had?" he asked.

"What about it?" I asked back, feeling my cheeks heat up from the memory of how we slept together on his bed.

"You touched me in my sleep!" he accused.

"You were awake that whole time?" I asked, wide-eyed and terrified.

"Why shouldn't I be awake? You were touching me and...and..."

"And?" I urged him, seeing how a little pout started settling on his lips and how his cheeks were also turning the same colour as mine.

"Amshrie."

"What?" I asked, failing to catch what he just mumbled.

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"For what?"

"That other sleepover."

"You mean..."

He nodded and I slowly understood what he was trying to say.

"I kinda...touched you, too," he confessed and it only made my cheeks hotter and my body shiver with the thought of Felix touching my dick regardless of how I couldn't remember it.

"So William was telling the truth?" I asked and he gave me a weird look.

"What did he tell you?" he questioned.

"That you...that you took a peek in my undies?" I whispered unsurely.

Felix pouted and an even darker shade of red settled across his nose.

"He swore not to tell anyone!" Felix almost barked as he pushed himself up. He would've stormed out of his bedroom if I didn't hold him down.

"Chill, dude. He was only trying to be my wingman," I told him.

"Your wingman?" he asked.

"Uhm, you know...to help me make you like me back."

He squinted his eyes and looked as if he was annoyed.

"Last time I checked, you're not s'posed to look at your wingman like...like the way you do."

"Huh?"

"Do you like him?" he asked. "Coz I swear he likes you."

"Are you...," I paused and searched his eyes for any hint of him being, "jealous?"

"I am not!" Felix yelled.

"Yes, you are!" I insisted and started chuckling.

"Totally not!" he argued and resumed hitting my chest, but more gently.

Instead of arguing with words, I pulled his neck down and sealed his lips on mine so quickly that it made the spark in his eyes return. Amazingly, he returned the kiss after the initial shock and even nibbled twice before pulling back.

"Don't worry," I told him, "I like you more than anyone in the world."

"I know I'm not s'posed to like you, but...," he whispered before hesitating on his the last word he spoke. "I...I love you, too, already."

Oh.

Ooohh, now I understood. Since he was awake that whole time my hand was on his hard member when we had that sleepover, he also should've heard what I told him before going back to sleep.

I don't just like you. I love you.

And now, he was finally brave enough to tell me the same thing. I may not be able to understand how his mind worked its way through to that conclusion, but whatever thoughts waged war in his head made him say just what I wanted to hear for so long.

My heart started beating faster as our eyes found the lives they lost in each other and how I wanted to cry so much from finally seeing Felix up close and without any of the walls we put up. My lips trembled, but from what...I really couldn't tell.

Felix overwhelmed everything in me.

"Sorry," he mumbled and I giggled shyly, feeling the same way he did.

"Don't worry," I told him. "It's normal to get hard."

He pouted and shifted his weight on top of me, only to rub his clothed and stiffening member more painfully pleasurable on top of mine. Damn, he was hard. But my hard on, as much of a dick it was, wouldn't allow anything to...uh...outdo it.

"This is kinda awkward," I said. "Uhm..."

"We're both boys, Chase...," he started whispering.

Oh, god, no. Not this line of reason again.

"...but who cares, right?" he continued and I stared expectantly at him, barely noticing how he kept rubbing his crotch on mine. "It only makes everything more fun."

The way he smiled stole my heart a million times. It was...warm and fluttery and...fuck. I couldn't believe that I was suddenly thinking of summer in December with him still on top of me. The weather wasn't cold because Felix was warm enough.

"So...uhm..."

He sighed and pushed himself up a little just to glance downward and in between our bodies.

"I like your shirt," he said. "I wonder if I'll still like you without it."

I gulped while he giggled mischievously.

"You're not...you're not kidding, are you?"

"Oh, c'mon, Chase," he sort of whined. "I've seen how you look at me."

"You have?"

"I have," he answered and nodded.

Of course he has. I wasn't particularly discreet when I stared at him since forever now. You're staring, his five-year-old voice echoed in my head and I chuckled at how stupid the look on my face must have been after many years of still being intrigued by him.

"You're doing it again," he mumbled and pulled me back to where we were. "You're staring."

"Sorry," I told him. "You're just so...beautiful."

Felix sort of gagged and made a disgusted look which made me curious as to what he was thinking.

"You make it sound like I'm a girl," he pointed out, squinting his eyes and wrinkling his nose in pure repulsion. "Eewww."

I laughed so hard and heartily that I also sent him rocking on my chest and made him laugh along with me. It was so good to hear that same laugh of his the way I remembered it. As he continued giggling, I kept on watching his puffy eyes and reddish lips. When I couldn't hold it much longer, I leaned upward and gave his lips a quick peck.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"For finally liking me back," I answered.

His eyes kept mine from finding anything else besides his green crystals interesting. In all sense of it, he captivated me and I liked being held vulnerably by how he could stare so deeply.

"I always have," he finally whispered. "No matter what I did, I've always liked you."

"F-for real?"

"For real."

And, finally for real, he pressed down on me that all the blood circulating in my body steadily filled my member and made it twitch for that anticipated touch. In my mind, I laughed at how pathetic it was. No wonder each time I thought of Felix, my limp member always had a chance of twitching and stiffening. Felix had touched it in my sleep and it probably longed for that touch as much as I missed having Felix right by my side.

"I'm not dreaming, am I?" I wanted to make sure. The last thing I wanted was for Felix to float away or disappear. I wasn't expecting, of course, a slap to my cheek. "Ow!"

"Not dreaming," Felix assured.

Felix descended once more and found his way to my half-open lips. God, he tasted so good. A bit salty and wet from his tears, but still so overwhelming. I couldn't be sure if it was my hands that found their own way down to his waist or whatever, but when I reached the hem of his shirt, he gently lifted himself up and allowed me to pull his shirt up and over his chest and messed up auburn hair.

Who knew that without his shirt, he'd feel even warmer on top of me?

And who knew that his fascinating eyes could look so naughty and needy at the same time.

His lips went down from my mouth to my collarbone as his hand pulled my collar to expose a little bit of my chest. My mind was so occupied with how amazing the wet trails he left on my neck were that it shocked me when I felt his bare fingers under my shirt and on my nipple. When the hell did he sneak his other hand in there?

Whatever porn he had watched, it was certainly making him take the lead.

He pinched my nipple and made me moan and bite my lips at the same time. He twisted, pulled and pressed as if mimicking his own lips that sucked on my skin.

I had to shake myself into conscious thoughts to let my hands continue with their own work. Finding the elastic of his shorts, I didn't have any second and reserved thoughts before pulling it down over his cute butt while tracing his buns right down the middle with my finger. He shivered and stiffened on top of me, but he wasn't stopping with his own kind of fun.

He lifted his waist a little and curled his legs upward, staying on all fours above me so that I could peel the rest of his clothes off.

And fucking hell.

No amount of porn or imagination could prepare me for how amazingly gorgeous Felix really was.

"I'm staring again, aren't I?" I asked and he nodded with a smile.

"I don't mind," he said and sat on my belly. "I was soooo curious with your undies that time when we were seven. So, uhm, I got carried away a little."

I tried so hard to keep my eyes on the awkward and shy smile on his lips, but it became too difficult to ignore that he was sitting on my gut and naked with his hairless dick pulsating and pointing straight at me.

"I...I wanted to see yours, too," I admitted and stole a quick glance to his erection. He wasn't as big as I was, but he was definitely an inch or two bigger than William. "Though I didn't mind the wait."

Felix chuckled and settled his hands on my shorts, undid the button, pulled down my zipper and pressed on my bulge through my tight briefs. He succeeded in making me moan yet again.

"You got bigger," he said, particularly amazed.

"T-thanks," I muttered. I couldn't be sure if he got bigger the same way I did since I didn't see his dick when he younger to begin with. Still, it was a sight that I'd give anything just to see each night.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"I can...," his shy voice paused. "I can masturbate you or...give you a blowjob."

Oh. Ohhhh.

"Well, uhm," I uttered and let my eyes roam all over him. From the state of our undress, it should've been me asking him that question first. Yet, here he was offering me two choices without even minding that he was completely naked and...sexy.

"I'll take my clothes off first," I said and pushed myself up.

"I'll take care of that," he quickly said and moved, or sort of slid, down my thighs and pulled my shorts and briefs down to my ankles and off. Was it weird that I felt more naked that he did though I still had my shirt on?

The blush on Felix's face was beautiful and the wonder in his eyes spoke volumes of my affection for him.

"Wow," he mouthed.

"You're staring," I told him and he giggled, suddenly realizing what it felt like to be the one staring and not the one stared at.

"I always have," he corrected and I raised an eyebrow. "You just didn't know."

Yeah, pretty much true. He could still be that same sneaky seven-year-old who got carried away a little and took a peek in my undies while I was asleep.

I didn't wait for him to offer to take my shirt off. Instead, I pulled it up as fast as I could, feeling more bare as the seconds passed while I was half-naked. When I finally sat myself up, Felix made me lie down again by suddenly pulling my ankles toward him and settling my legs over the edge of his bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked anxiously.

"Just keep quiet, okay?" he said as he pushed my legs apart and knelt in between them, his face disappearing as his breath reached my exposed glans. "You ever had a blowjob, Chase?"

Oh shit.

I gulped and felt myself pale from the question. Thankfully, Felix's eyes were still on my member so he couldn't see how I flinched when he asked me that.

"N-no," I told him. "D-did you?"

He shrugged and nonchalantly answered, "Yeah. Twice."

"WHAT?"

He pushed me back down when he noticed how I wanted to get up and confront him about it.

"Don't overreact, okay?" he said. "It was long ago and your wingman was kinda good at it."

"Willy? You mean Willy?"

"Who else?"

Oh, the rage swelled in me. How many more secrets did William hide?

Felix hastily shifted my thoughts to something more violently shocking when his tongue poked on my wet glans, twirling up and under it and pulling my foreskin so that he could put the whole thing in his mouth while stroking me. His delicate fingers traced its way to my nuts and he also found a way to tease my butt with those same fingers.

Goddamnit.

Despite wanting to keep my mouth shut, Felix was making it really hard for me not to moan. He was drowning himself in between my thighs but it felt more like he was sending me to the bottom of the ocean and pulling me back up repeatedly. He was making me lose my breath.

His tongue was pretty skilful and I couldn't even feel any hesitation from him when he licked me clean and toyed with my foreskin while brushing the tip of his nose on my shaft each time his head went back up. Halfway through, his wet kisses found their way to my nuts and he fuckin knew how to nibble and suck.

When I expected the same attention on my butthole, he proved me wrong. Instead of sucking and nibbling on their, he just placed a chaste kiss and went back to sucking my member. It was his fingers that was steadily letting me take a peek at heaven each time he pushed or traced a line down from my nuts to my butthole and right back up.

And when I thought he'd let me cum, he quit sucking my dick and moved up my crotch before finding my navel. One thing that made me writhe more than the pleasure he was giving me was the fact that I was ticklish as hell.

"Stay still," he said and nibbled on my navel.

"I'm ticklish, y'know!"

He pushed his hand down my chest and distracted me with how he played with my nipples. After some time and when I was finally sure that my belly was wet all over, he went back down to my dick and swallowed it whole again. He pulled my nuts down and I wanted to hate him for it.

"F-Felix!"

"Ssshh!" he abruptly sounded and I bit my lip.

When he let go of my nuts, I felt the ocean surge up such a huge wave and Felix's nose was still touching the base of my shaft so I was sure that he planned to swallow.

I heard him gulp and gag, but he bravely held it down. When I leaned my head up to look at him, he was such a mess and his mouth dripped with my cum. Amazingly, he still looked gorgeous.

"Where the hell did you learn to do that?" I asked tiredly.

Felix stood up and sat beside me. I pushed myself up and looked at the side of his face. Somehow, my eyes drifted down his chest and settled on his slightly parted legs.

"You...you came?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said. "Couldn't help it. You were too much and I wanted to cum so badly."

"I would've done it for you."

"Maybe some other time," he said and reached for his clothes. "Right now, we need to worry about other things."

He pulled his shirt on while I reached for my undies and pants. When we were both dressed up again, we found ourselves sitting beside each other on the edge of his bed.

I was expecting another kiss from him or even just a smile, but his face looked sullen once again and when he started moving closer, I felt my chest tighten.

"Listen, Chase," he uttered, "there's something else I need to tell you."

"Anything at all. I'm listening," I reassured.

I felt sure that he was finally going to tell me about the therapy he went through and how wrong it all was. I've read his file a few times and it frightened me that he was willing to go to such lengths just to forget me.

"My dad got promoted..."

No...no...no...no.

I remembered this line all too clearly.

"...for the city..."

No matter how much I tried to drown out Felix's voice along with the erratic and loud beating of my fearful heart, I couldn't avoid hearing the inevitable.

"We're moving away again," he whispered and I could tell that he was starting to cry once more.

"You're kidding, right?"

He wiped his tears and nose before shaking his head and offering me that same smile that I'm already starting to hate.

He was once again offering nothing, but promising me everything.

"W-when?" I somehow voiced out.

"Before Christmas," he answered. "He needs to work full time for the holiday sales."

I choked on my breath and my head couldn't stop shaking along with my trembling body. I felt Felix move closer and wrap his arms around me. Without any more fight left in me, I surrendered to his embrace. Why would the world be so cruel as to let me have Felix Corbel but only for those fleeting moments in my life?

"I signed you up for the Christmas recital coz I can't be there," he whispered so closely that each of his word hurt so much. "Thanks for not letting me down."

"But...but can't you just stay here? Please not again, Felix...please..."

He shook his head gently as his soft hair brushed on my collarbone. Despite the miserable state we both were in and how dreadful we looked, nothing in the world was more beautiful than seeing our reflection in the mirror that faced us.

"I promise," he sniffled, "I won't forget this time."

I kind of laughed bitterly over his shoulder as I pressed him tightly to me. He tensed a little, but when I rubbed his back, he started to relax as I whispered, "Why can't this be real from now on?"

Though it was real, I was still stuck in my dream. Did I get there, Felix? I wouldn't know because you're set on leaving me again.

~ End of Chapter ~

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