At five years old, I met Felix Corbel.

I was totally unaware of him before that. We had lived on the same street for the past five years of our lives, but had only met each other on the first day of kindergarten. I hadn't fallen for him yet. At such a young age, I wasn't aware of how he'd leave me confused in the years to come.

We were friends back then. We'd share the same lunchboxes, get picked up from school by his or my mom and see each other on the weekends. We played a lot together. We had a sleepover once, but that was it. We were kids and we didn't know anything about sleepovers other than having too much fun before going to sleep.

At age seven, I started to like him more. He'd began his addiction to music at that age. We'd borrow his older sister's iPod and plug each earphone to one of our ears. We'd tap to the same music, skipped a track now and then and memorized some good old lyrics. We sang a lot, but he always sang more often than I did.

At eight years old, we started going to different schools. He had to transfer because of his dad's work. They actually had to move houses and left for a year or so. By the time they went back to their old house, some things changed between Felix and me. We were neither good friends, nor strangers to each other.

I saw him again at school, but I couldn't talk to him about stuff. I made some new friends who thought differently of others. Felix delved more into his music, staying silent for the most part of the day except when he was called to recite something. We didn't see each other after school or on the weekends. It was either him or me that put some sort of distance between us. I didn't ask him about it, nor did he ask me.

Things changed and that was it.

That wasn't even an understatement. The first time I saw him again at school, I was pretty sure that I liked him more than anyone else. We were nine back then. I couldn't sort my feelings too well. I liked him and that was it.

By 12 years old, we still hadn't spoken much to each other. He didn't have anyone else with him. I noticed a few times how he declined to make friends or just chose to walk down the hallways on his own. He was branded as the antisocial kid, mute and whatnot. The worst, however, was calling him the `antisocial gayboy'.

I had known for some time since then that something was wrong with Felix. He wasn't this quiet when we were growing up. He wasn't antisocial and he wasn't gay. I, on the other hand, began exploring why I liked him still. It wasn't the same `liking' that I thought it was when I was seven. It had recently become overwhelming. At night, even during the day, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

His auburn hair, freckled nose, pinkish thin lips, pale and soft skin, greenish eyes and absent smile.

`It's not normal,' I told myself. I liked him abnormally. But it was far too late now. The friends I had made long ago were the ones who bullied him each day. And, as fate would have it, I became one of his bullies as well.

P.S.
I'm not hard to find, right?
Then find me.

I took that as an invitation, as the only invitation, from him that he wanted to be friends again. That was a step forward for me. I officially had a crush on him and I wasn't going to ignore that much longer.

Pulling the earphones out my ears and shoving the note he gave me in my pocket, I made my way downstairs and out of our house. It was only then that I realized that I didn't know how to find him. He wasn't at their house from what his mom told me. But, perhaps, he was lying about that? He could be in his room and just didn't want to see me. But why the hell did he want me to find him?

I ran toward their house with a million thoughts racing through my cluttered mind. Everything was in shuffle. I didn't know what to expect once I got there.

"Mrs Corbel, Is Felix home?" I asked his mom once again and she had this curious gaze on me.

"He went out earlier. Didn't I tell you?"

"I know he's home. Maybe he just doesn't want to see me, but I really need to talk to him," I insisted.

She stared at me for some time before saying, "I'm telling the truth, Chase. He went out. He didn't tell me anything about not wanting to see you, but...did you boys get into a fight?"

I shook my head instantly.

"What's all this about then?" she asked.

"I really need to tell him something. Please Mrs Corbel. I need to know where he is."

She appeared thoughtful for a moment before stepping aside and letting me in. The last time I've been in their house was ages ago. It looked totally different from how I remembered it.

"I'm sure he'll be home before lunch. Why don't you wait for him here?" she told me. "When was the last time you've been here anyway?"

"Uhm, when I was eight?" I guessed.

"Oh," she uttered. "What took you so long then? Felix was waiting for you to come over that entire time."

`He was?' I thought. Why didn't he tell me?

"What is it that you want to talk to him about?" she continued.

"Uhm, some school stuff, I guess," I lied. Half-lied or whatever.

She led both of us to their dining room where she told me to sit at the table while she prepared some snack for me. When she got back to the table with some sandwich that she gave me, she took a seat for herself and started once again on our conversation.

"Tell me the truth, dear," she said in a hushed voice. "Is someone bothering Felix at your school? He's not the same boy he once was."

"No, ma'am. Not that I know of."

Multiple hits for lying now.

"You are his friend, right Chase?"

I nodded, she sighed.

"My boy has been different ever since he got out of therapy."

Therapy? What did she mean by that?

"What do you mean Mrs Corbel?" I asked.

"He didn't tell you?" she said in a sort of surprised voice.

"No," I answered.

"I'm so sorry, Chase. I shouldn't have told you that. Don't mention this to Felix. Promise me."

She sounded adamant, but I really needed to know what she was talking about.

"What therapy?" I insisted. "He didn't tell me anything about any therapy."

Felix would've told me, perhaps, if I wasn't such an asshole to him. If only I had made my way back to being the good friends we were, he would've said something about any therapy he went into.

"It's best that he tells you," she said. "You know what I think, dear?"

"What?" I asked lowly.

"He doesn't trust anyone else right now. If you're really his friend, I'm sure he would've trusted you and told you long ago."

That was the last bullet. She'd officially made me bleed to death from all the guilt I felt, having to lie about being Felix's friend.

"But I'm sure you're his friend," she immediately added with a smile on her lips. "Maybe he just needs some more time to himself. He's been awfully quiet, but he's in a much better state now."

I nodded absently before she went on to do her stuff around the house. She just told me to finish my snack and wait for Felix in the living room. I did and what a long wait it was. Longer than the years it took me before I set foot in their house once again.