Date: Sat, 1 Apr 2023 11:25:35 -0400 From: AB Subject: Researching dick with Josh - part 5 A few months after his last encounter with Josh, Mark was about to enter high school. The hot summer weather was supercharging the feelings in his pants. It shouldn't be a surprise how often a 14 year-old boy was milking his cock, but Mark was ashamed that it was the primary thing he was doing each day. In the shower, sitting on the toilet, laying in bed at night, waking up in the morning... his cock would stir and couldn't help himself. He'd stroke his cock, sometimes super fast, sometimes nice and slow, letting hand cream or Vaseline and the slack in his dick skin work its magic. Sometimes he imagined what his friends looked like naked, or scenarios where he would happen to catch them naked, or they would open the door to the bathroom and catch him in the act, but mostly it was Josh. That was his go to, that always got the job done. The replays of fooling around with Josh were constant. Thinking about shooting a giant load on his back was all he needed to fire a fresh wad. Mark would squeeze his shaft tightly, hoping to hold it back, pressing his thumb against his cock hole trying to keep his cum inside just a moment longer... but he always failed. The attempts to stop it just made his orgasms more intense. He couldn't help but let out a moan, feel the sweat on his body and wish Josh was there to see it. The illusion that Mark's focus on boys and their penises as a curiosity was more difficult to maintain in his mind. He swore he was straight, and that this was just boys being boys - everyone goes through a phase where this is their every thought, right? He still hadn't seen many dicks for real, so he could have told himself it was still just research, but his current obsession was more about how he could return to the feeling of that night. The warm comfortable ease that washed over his body as he held hands with Josh, their naked bodies touching. Today Mark understands that feeling was because he was being his true self - queer, open, honest and in love - but it would still be years before he could cross that threshold in his mind for real. There was always an excuse, always a reason to explain it away. He wasn't willing to face the embarrassment and shame of being a homo. As high school approached, Mark was spending more time with the second love of his life, a boy called Chris who was his age and he had known for three years. Chris was taller than Mark (probably 5' 8" to his 5' 5"), had curly brown hair that he let grow long, a bit crazy, and had highlights of red when he was in the sun. His hazel eyes shined in a way that cut through Mark whenever they made eye contact. He had broad shoulders and a flat stomach, with a very slight definition. He played soccer and ran track, and he had an athletic ease that Mark would never have. Being friends with someone who was jock-adjacent had benefits for Mark, afraid that the popular kids would select him for bullying and accuse him of being a fag. Being friends with Chris (hopefully) pointed the target to another kid. The two boys would hang out watching TV and playing video games, and shared many of the same interests. Mark never dared mention his primary interest - masturbation, but he suspected that Chris was doing it a lot too. Chris shared the same shame of the activity. He would make offhand references or jokes about doing it, how he wasn't in condition to get out of bed, or that he took a long shower and used up all the hot water. This was a code that Mark understood, and even though they had so much in common, no one crossed the line to admit they were doing That. There's no way Chris could be as obsessed with jacking it as Mark was. Sometimes when Mark and Chris were hanging out, Mark would drift into a daydream state and stare at his friend. It would be a particular angle, or how the light caught his face that would almost take Mark's breath away. Chris has a full face, with a strong jaw, and a slight hint of a sparse black stubble above his lip. Those lips were full, too... and a nice olive color. "Mark?" Chris would ask to wake him from his daze, and Mark's face would redden, embarrassed that he was staring at another boy's lips. Thoughts of Chris generated a heavy wave sensation through Mark's body. It was sorta like how he felt for Josh, but this was different. Josh was cute, but maybe Chris was hot? The new boy started popping up in his masturbation fantasies. The replays of Josh were still front and center, but suddenly Chris was there watching the action in the corner. He would come over to play at Josh's house and catch them shooting water guns with their pants pulled down. Chris never joined, never pulled out his dick overcome with horniness at the sight. Mark never imagined what his friend looked like naked, or how big his cock was... not yet. At best, in fantasies, Chris would lean in for a kiss, and Mark would lightly bite the boy's lips, maybe Chris would whisper, "I want you too," and that would be enough, Mark would quicken the pace on his cock and a thick white shot would rocket out. Mark didn't process these feelings or worry too much about them, not facing the truth that thoughts of his new best friend were what he needed in order to cum. Instead, his primary concern a week ahead of ninth grade starting was their new school. Now that they would be in high school, their understanding was that they would have to shower after gym class. The idea of being naked with other boys in the locker room terrified him. It wasn't just Mark's weird looking skinny body, underdeveloped in so many ways. (Not the truth, but how he perceived himself.) It was that the other boys would see his penis and make fun of him. And it was almost a certainty that he would pop boners when he saw other boys undress, or splashing water on each other, or hitting each other with towels, and the other things he were certain happened in the locker room. This was a constant torment and Mark considered ways that he could get out of having to go to high school and expose himself in these ways. The best solution he came up with was to run away from home, but that didn't seem practical. This all started because of Jake, Chris's older brother who was going into 11th grade. One day when Mark was over at their house, Jake popped into the basement and asked Mark if he was worried about going to high school. "Why would I be worried?" Mark asked. "It's a bigger school with a lot of older boys, and you guys are still kids," Jake shot back. "Sure, but I still have my friends. I think it'll be okay." "Yeah, but just wait until everyone sees you naked. I bet you have one of the smallest ones in school!" "What?" Mark responded. "Why would everyone see me naked?" He only realized later that he didn't deny that he had one of the smallest ones in school. "You don't know? High school gym is different, man. You have to shower after class. You didn't know that?" Jake laughed. "Oh." Mark said, his face was flush. "You think they're going to let your smelly asses not shower? It's the rules. The gym teacher checks and everything!" "Oh," Mark repeated. The older boy laughed. "Oh, it's going to be quite a sight! I wish I had gym with you. I'd be able to show you what a real man looks like!" Jake held out his two hands to demonstrate an absurdly long length, like he was telling a story about catching a fish. "I'll leave you girls to it," Jake added. The laughs trailed out as the older boy went back upstairs. Mark sat stunned. "Oh my god," he softly said to himself, embarrassed that he said it aloud. Chris smacked him on the shoulder to jolt him out of his daze. "Don't worry about it, man. It'll be fine." "I don't know." Mark pictured the other boys circling, pointing and laughing. "You don't know." "Oh, come on," Chris added, "I'm sure you don't have the smallest one in school." "I don't know how you can be sure about that." Mark thought about how his cock was thicker and longer than Josh's, but that didn't provide my comfort. "Plus, you know, I'm not going to be... hard." It took Mark a moment to select the word. Chris laughed. "Let's hope not, or they'd really have something to talk about." "I guess." "It's really not a big deal, Mark. Dicks all kind of look the same and nobody really looks down." "Suddenly you're the expert? Just because you have an older brother?" "Oh, not Jake. I mean, I've seen him naked a bunch, and it's quite something..." There was no pause as Chris said this, but Mark would hang on this comment when he'd replay the moment in his mind. "But I've been showering with the team this summer, and it's not a big deal." Chris was in a soccer league this summer, but he never shared this detail about it. "You have to shower with the other boys? Why didn't you tell me that?" Chris laughed, "I didn't think you'd want to hear about my showering with other boys." Mark kinda did. "Right," he lied in agreement, "So what's it like?" "It's not a big deal. It's a couple of minutes. You just get wet and rub on some soap and rinse. Everyone has to do it, and after a while you forget you're naked." Mark's cock started to stir in his shorts. He didn't think he would be able to forget. "No one makes fun of you?" "Why would they?" "I didn't realize you're so big." "Mark, you're so dumb. No one knows how big anyone is, and no one gets made fun of." Mark sighed. "If you say so. I'm still worried." "Worried you'd get hard?" Chris joked, as he lightly punched his friend in the crotch. Mark said "Ow!" even though it didn't hurt and covered himself with his hands. Did Chris feel anything? Did he know that he was getting hard?' "How big's your dick?" Chris asked. "I... I don't..." "I mean, are you small?" Mark thought about it and said, "No?" Chris laughed again, "Yeah, didn't seem like it." Oh my god, Chris must have felt his hardened dick... but he moved on as if he didn't. "It'll be fine. Look, if anyone makes fun of you, I've got your back." "Okay." "After a few weeks, you'll forget all about it." "If you say so." The two boys returned to the video game they were playing and the subject was dropped. But Mark couldn't get out of his mind. Of course Chris was okay with this showering situation, he wasn't going to get a boner when he saw dozens of his classmates naked. He couldn't sleep that night and wondered if there was something he could eat or a special medication that stops erections. School was less than a week away and he was terrified.