Date: Wed, 10 Dec 2003 17:32:54 -0600
From: Daniel Stepnoski <danielstepnoski678@hotmail.com>
Subject: Root Beer Boys, Chapter 2-17

The Root Beer Boys
Part 2, Chapter 17
Matthew's Diary

May 2000

Hello Diary.  It's been a long time since I wrote to you hasn't it.  Not a
lot has been happening that I've wanted to talk about since my last entry.
After all, this is for when I'm old with a failing memory, so only the high
points of life belong in here, not the day-to-day bunk.

Anyway, talk about high points.  WOW!  Well, I guess considering what I'm
thinking about it isn't all that high physically, but it sure was/is/will
be a high emotionally.  Where should I start?  At the beginning?  B-o-r-I-
g!  No, that's not true, None of this is boring to me now, so it shouldn't
bore me later, huh?

This is all about Tommy, actually.  Oh, before I start on the good stuff, I
need to say something else.  It's about mom and dad.  I think something is
going on there that they don't want to talk about.  Maybe they don't even
want me to know about it, but I'm not as blind as they must think I am.
See, the thing is, when they are together, they don't act the way they used
to.  And they don't act towards each other the way Tommy's mom and dad do.
Sometimes it seems as though they are just sharing the house.  And I don't
think it has anything to do with dad's business, either, cause he's home a
lot.  He doesn't travel much and he doesn't work overtime.  He has other
people doing that stuff.  But I see them looking at me sometimes.  Funny
looks.  Sometimes wistful or sad or whatever.  I think it was dad who came
in and covered Tommy and me up that night I fell asleep on his chest.
Gosh, was that ever so kewl!  I knew I loved him in every way, and I could
live with him only loving me emotionally.  I have two hands.  I always
figured if I wanted something different, I'd just switch hands from time to
time.

But about Tommy and me.  This past weekend was the absolute best weekend of
my entire life.  All that I just said about Tommy loving me only
emotionally?  That's all in the past now.  That poor kid has been so
confused for the past few months.  I've watched him with Nancy, and I've
spent time with him alone, and it just seemed like he didn't know which end
was up.  He knew he loved me but he thought he loved Nancy, too.  And none
of us had any sexual experiences with each other to influence us one way or
the other.  Dad always told me sex could just further confuse a
relationship.  Well, maybe that's true for some people, but I think it's
just the opposite for Tommy.  Here's what happened.

Mom and Dad went out to some business affair and Tommy spent the night with
me.  No big deal really.  He's done that before, but mom or dad was always
at home.  They've gotten used to us sitting close and even holding hands
and sorta laying on each other on the floor.  But Friday night was
different.  Awesome.  Magnificent, even.

Mom and Dad left as Tommy and I were boiling the spaghetti for dinner.
After we had eaten, we went into the TV room to watch a movie.  We hadn't
been cuddled on the couch very long when I suddenly got an inspiration.
Well, ok, so call it a hardon if you want to diary, but I call it an
inspiration.  I got up and went to the bathroom to take a leak.  But while
I was in there I stripped down to just my briefs.  No t-shirt, sox or
nothing.  When I went back into the TV room, I saw Tommy eying my crotch.
Little Matthew wasn't as hard as before, but he liked the way Tommy was
looking at him folded over there in my briefs.  As I sat down on the couch,
Tommy got up and said he needed to pee, too.  When he came back, it was
just as I had hoped.  He was wearing nothing but his briefs, just like me.
And Tommy-tall, that's his penis, was trying to push the front of his
shorts out so it could look around.

I laid back and Tommy squeezed between me and the back of the couch.  We
really did watch some of the movie, about 15 minutes worth, I guess.
During that time, Tommy's head slid from the pillow onto my chest and his
arm moved so that his hand was on my left tit instead of holding me just
below my armpit.  The feel of his warm breath on my chest was just so
awesome.  I couldn't have prevented the hardon if I had wanted to, and I
certainly didn't want to.  I wanted Tommy to see it.  I was hoping he would
react to it.  I loved him without sex, but I still wanted to do sex stuff
with him.  That night in the bathroom had never left my memory.
  His penis is gorgeous, hard or soft.  And his balls are so wonderful.
We're both almost bald there, with decent little patches of hair just about
the base of our penis.

Anyway, as little Matthew started to swell, Tommy started to rub my chest
with his free hand.  Eventually he moved down to the waistband of my
shorts.  Then, with this soft, little, timid voice, he asked the question I
had prayed for.

"Can I touch you there?" he asked, barely above a whisper.

Of course I said no!  NOT!!!!

Well, one thing led to another and soon my underwear was lying on the floor
and little Matthew was being warmed by Tommy's hand.  Gosh, it felt so
good!  So much better than my own hand.  Of course, I never made love to my
penis.  I just beat it to death every time I got the chance.  Tommy, on the
other hand, made love to it with his hand.  And to my balls, too.  At one
point I was sure he was going to suck it, but he didn't.  I was kinda glad,
too, cause I sorta wanted to be the first to do that.  I always knew I
wanted to do that to Tommy.  I'm not so sure he really wanted to.

Well, as he played with my penis and balls, we kissed a bit and looked at
each other a bit.  Sometimes I could tell by the lifting of his head that
he was looking at me, but I kept my eyes closed.  But seeing his hand
moving on my penis was so awesome that I couldn't keep my eyes closed all
the time.  I didn't have to tell him when I was ready to cum.  I'm sure he
could read my body language.  As my hips raised up off the couch and my
groans became grunts, his hand moved faster and faster on my shaft.  It's
impossible to describe the difference between the way he did it and the way
I usually do it except to say that he was more loving.

When I finally shot my stuff onto my stomach, it was the most wonderful cum
of my life, not just because of the physical feelings I was having, but
because of the emotional impact of the experience. I knew right then,
without a shadow of a doubt, that he really did love me totally.  It only
remained for Tommy to figure it out.

As I collapsed back onto the couch and laid there gasping for breath, I saw
Tommy stick his finger in his mouth.  I'm sure he didn't know I was
watching, but the sigh he let out as I felt him swallow told me everything
I wanted to know.  Tommy had just found out something.  I didn't think he
was confused any more.  And with that thought, we fell asleep on the couch
with his hardon still poking me in the leg and me totally naked.

It's a good thing Tommy woke up when the garage door went up.  We barely
had time to get my underwear back on and change the channel to something
believable when mom and dad walked in from the kitchen.  Mom just went
straight to their room.  Dad came in and sat in his favorite chair for a
few minutes.  I noticed him looking at Tommy and me sitting there in our
underwear with this really loving look on his face.  I felt like a million
bucks right then.  The boy I loved was sitting so close to me a gnat
couldn't have gotten between us, both of almost naked, and my dad was
telling us with his eyes that he didn't mind.

We went to bed not long after that and fell asleep almost immediately.  Oh,
and we slept naked, holding each other's penis and breathing each other's
carbon dioxide.  I'm sure glad we brushed our teeth first.

Think that's all, diary?  Not on your life!  HAHAHA, life.  Shoot, you
don't have a life.  You're just a book!  giggle.  I'm so funny sometimes.

Anyway, Saturday morning we woke up with these piss hardons and helped each
other to the bathroom where we had the obligatory teenage sword fight.
Then we went back to bed and hugged and kissed and told each other stories
with our eyes.  It was so awesome to lay there naked with the boy I loved,
knowing he loved me the same way and feeling sure that he now recognized
what I had been sure of all along.  Nancy would always be our friend, but
Tommy would never be her boyfriend, cause he was MY boyfriend.

But 14 year olds can only stand that throbbing, blood pounding condition
for so long before we have to do something, and I wasn't about to get out
of bed to find some other way to get rid of mine.  I had dreamed of sucking
Tommy's penis for so many nights, but all I wanted to do right then was
what he had done for me the night before.  After all, I couldn't look at it
if it was in my mouth, and I wanted to study it up close just like he had
mine.

So just when I thought my lips were either going to fall off or become
grafted to Tommy's, I pushed myself away from his face and told him I loved
him with my eyes.  I don't think we had said 50 words to each other so far
that morning.  Then I started moving towards his crotch, pushing him onto
his back as I went.  I slid the covers down his body until they were to his
knees.  Have I told you, diary, that Tommy is the most beautiful person I
have ever laid eyes on?  Or laid on?  Actually, he's one fo the few whose
body I have ever seen as I was seeing his now.  His chest was smooth as a
baby's butt, with little pointy nipples sticking up from dime size brown
spots.  He giggled when I first started licking them, but as I started
nipping them with my teeth, he pushed his chest into my face and began
breathing funny.

His penis rose up from his crotch with its beautiful little circumcised
head staring into space.  I've read a few stories in which writers refer to
that opening as a piss slit, but I prefer to think of it as a cum slot
myself.  Anyway, whatever it's called, his was awesome.  His penis is about
4 and a half inches long and maybe 3 inches around.  And he has this really
neat patch of hair at the base of it that spreads out just a little towards
the creases on either side.  But it doesn't go very far towards his navel
yet.  And soft?  Wow, is it soft!  I couldn't help nuzzling my nose in his
hair, feeling his penis rub softly against my cheek.  I almost changed my
mind about sucking him right then.  But I didn't.  I moved my face back and
rested my head on his tummy as I wrapped my fingers around his boyhood.
His shaft.  His PENIS!  I love that word, penis.  It just seems to fit
Tommy so well.  And it felt so amazing in my hand, different than when I
hold my own.  It was hotter than I remember mine feeling, and it throbbed
as I squeezed it.

Tommy was moaning softly, deep in his throat, sort of like a low hum.  And
he was rubbing his hand up and down my back, almost to my waist but not
quite.  The back of my head was to his face so I could see him, but I could
feel his head moving back and forth on the pillow.  It made me feel really
loved to know that just my hand could make him feel so good.  I didn't grab
him tightly.  I used a real loose grip so that my hand slid up and down
without moving the skin on his shaft.  And I let my hand slide down over
his ball sack, too.  His balls are so cute.  They're a bit smaller than
mine.  Actually, if I had to guess, I'd say they are a bit smaller than
normal for someone his age.  But who cares.  I'm not expecting him to get
me pregnant, and the smaller they are, the easier it will be to suck on
both of them at one time.  Gosh, I'm looking forward to that day!

So I'm laying there with my head on his tummy, slowly speeding up the
stroking of his penis, feeling my own throb almost as never before, and
listening to Tommy gasp and moan and grunt and groan, when all of a sudden
I hear him suck in a huge draft of air as he arches his back off the bed.
I knew what was coming, but I didn't move.  I wanted to be close to his cum
slit so I could see it happen, and I wasn't disappointed.  I watched as the
first shot blasted from his hole and hit me square on my lips.  As I opened
my mouth to lick it up, the next spurt hit my tongue.  I almost cried with
the joy of it all and with the love I felt for Tommy at that moment.  I
kept stroking him until he finished cuming and then just held his beautiful
penis in my hand as he calmed down.

I didn't say anything to him as I scooped up the rest of his cum with my
fingers and transferred it to my mouth.  The first taste had convinced me
that none of his precious body fluid would ever be wasted again if I had
anything to do with it.  I was surprised at how sweet and warm it was.
Even before I was through staring at his precious prize, he began pulling
me up to lay beside him.  I think he saw some cum on my lips, but he didn't
say anything.  He just frenched me and licked my mouth and said,

"Matthew.  I love you so much.  That was the most awesome experience I have
ever had.  Can we do it again sometime?"

"Gee, Tommy," I said.  "I don't know.  We might have to wait a minute or
two."

He laughed and punched my side as he plastered his lips on mine again.
"You're still hard as a rock," he said as he grabbed my penis.

"Yeah.  So?" I answered him.

Just then my dad knocked on the door and stuck his head in.  I almost shit!
The covers were still around our feet, and there we lay with our naked
butts exposed and our faces within inches of each other.  Right then I knew
dad must have known about me for a long time.
  I was amazed by what he said, diary.  He just looked as us for a few
seconds then said,

"Gee, I miss that."

Then he said, "Hey guys.  Time to get a shower and come in for breakfast.
I'm cooking."

Then he left and pulled the door shut.

Tommy was shaking like a leaf, but my hardon was still throbbing in his
hand.

"How can you stay hard at a time like this, Matthew?" he said frantically.
"Your dad just saw us naked and making out!"

I looked at my lover-to-be and tried to calm him down.

"Didn't you see the look on his face, Tommy?  And hear what he said?
Besides, I'm pretty sure it was Dad who covered us up that night you first
told me you loved me.  He's OK with this, Tommy.  I'm sure he's known about
me for a long time, and I know he likes you almost as much as he loves me.
Don't be scared.  Let's shower together."

Tommy jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom door where he turned around
to face me.

"I want to watch you walk over here with that hardon bouncing in front of
you," he said with a giggle.

He made me feel so special the way he stared at my penis as I walked across
the room with one of the hardest boners I've ever had.  The first thing we
did after climbing into the shower was relieve each other.  Tommy grabbed
my stiffy with one hand and my balls with the other and made me feel almost
as good as the night before.  In all my dreams and fantasies, with all the
different ways I had beat off, I had never come close to imagining or
feeling what he made me experience, the way he made my body feel,
especially my penis and balls.  And it wasn't just a hand job.  Tommy made
love to me with his hands.  And I came all over his legs and feet.

Then I did the same thing to him.  And he anointed my legs and feet with
his juices.  And I felt disappointed that I had let him waste another load
of his precious fluid.  I vowed then and there to show him what a mouth
could do about that.

When we had showered and dressed, we went to the kitchen for breakfast.
Dad was cooking, alright.  He had four bowls of cereal and four glasses of
orange juice on the table.  Some cook he is.  hehehe

But he and mom had a humongous announcement to make, and I had very little
warning of it.  Just a slight feeling that something was up.  Maybe it was
their body language or something.

"Boys," dad said.  "Matthew's mom and I have something to tell you.  But
first, we want both of you to understand fully that Matthew is in no way
responsible for a decision we have just reached.  Linda and I have agreed
to get a divorce."

Tommy gasped and I started to tear up.  Tommy got up from his chair and
came over to hug me as dad continued.

"Matthew, please try to understand.  Your mom and I still love each other,
just not the way husbands and wives are supposed to.  I think as we talk
about it you two will come to understand it more than a lot of other people
would if they knew the true story."

"How can you say that, dad" I cried.  "Is this because of what you saw this
morning or that night Tommy spent the night with me back in February?"

"Our divorce has nothing to do with that, Matthew, but yes, what I saw this
morning and back in February may help you two to understand.  You see, your
mom has known for quite awhile that she is in love with someone else."

As my face registered shock and surprise, Mom spoke up.

"Yes, Matthew.  I'm in love with someone else.  Megan Bartholamew at the
office.  I've known for a long long time that I am a lesbian, but I ignored
that and chose to marry your dad and have a child.  We have both been
blessed by your birth and your life, Matthew, and I love you more than
anyone else in the world, including your dad and Nancy.  But I have finally
admitted to myself and to your dad that if I am ever to have true happiness
in a marriage, it will only be with another woman, with Nancy.  Your dad
and I have talked about this for months.  He has been extremely
understanding and very, very helpful.  In fact, your dad was the one who
suggested we separate so I could find the happiness I ache for."

Then dad said, "I know this has been a shock to you Matthew.  And Tommy, I
want to say right now that I am so thankful that you spent the night last
night and are here with Matthew this morning.  I don't know what happened
last night, but I'm pretty sure that something important happened between
you two, and it gave us the courage to broach the subject while you are
still here.  Now why don't you boys go find something to do for awhile and
let all this settle in.  Then we can talk more about it later and answer
your questions."

Damn, diary!  I didn't know whether to shit or go blind.  I mean, my mom
was obviously going to be moving out and leaving me and dad alone, yet
knowing how I felt about Tommy, I could understand how she could feel about
another woman.  As I was walking numbly back to our room (my room,
actually, but it already seemed like it was mine and Tommy's together),
Tommy started humming "Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream."
Crap, what was going through that boy's mind!?!?!?

I didn't feel like staying in the house right then, but I also didn't feel
like doing much.  So we threw on t-shirts and sandals, grabbed a blanket
and two pillows off the bed and went out into the back yard.  Fortunately
the weather here is pretty balmy in May so we just spread the blanket out
and laid down together.  We weren't hugging or anything, not even touching
each other.  We just laid there and watched the clouds go by overhead and
thought our own thoughts.  I wasn't sure about Tommy, but I hoped he felt
just as I did.  I didn't need to talk to him or hear his voice.  It was
enough to know he was there with me and for me and that he loved me.  I
knew that, even if he didn't.  But I was pretty sure he did.

After about an hour of just laying there, Tommy rolled onto his side and
leaned on his elbow, looking at me.  We had taken off our t-shirts by that
time, and I noticed how good his chest looked in the daylight.

"Matthew," he said.  "I don't know if this is the right time to tell you
this, btu I was going to tell you before your mom and dad dropped their
bombshell, and I don't want to put it off just because of that.  But I'm
not telling you this just because of what they said.  I was going to say
this anyway.  OK?

"OK," I said, hoping I already knew what he was going to say.

"Matthew, you already know I love you.  I told you that 3 months ago.  But
I also told you I didn't know if I was gay or bi or straight.  And you know
I've been going out with Nancy and thought I was in love with her, too.
But I know now.  I'm not confused any more.  And I'm happy I didn't have to
have oral or anal sex with you to figure this out.  I don't just love you a
little bit, Matthew, or partly, or just as my best friend.  I love you
Matthew, just as Andy loves Wayne, like my dad and mom love each other,
like your mom loves Megan whatshername.  I want to be with you and only
you, Matthew.  If I could, I'd want to have your baby.  I want to
eventually do that thing that could make babies if it worked that way.  You
know what I mean?"

I just nodded as I looked at Tommy with tears in my eyes.  I was so
overwhelmed with emotions, good and bad.  I was happy for mom that she
finally had the guts to come out to dad and admit there was someone else; I
was proud of my dad for being the man he was, for loving mom enough to give
her the freedom she needed, for loving me and Tommy enough to love us even
though he knew we were gay; and I loved Tommy so much I could almost throw
up with the power of that emotion.  But I was sad, too.  I was sad that my
dad was going to be a single parent, that he couldn't give mom what she
needed and she couldn't give him what she needed.
  I was sad that mom would be moving out and leaving me.  I was sad that I
might not see her again.  But most of all, I was both overwhelmed and
frustrated by my feelings for Tommy at that moment.  Overwhelmed by
feelings so great I couldn't explain them to Tommy.  I just wanted to melt
into his arms right there in the sun, in front of God and any nosey
neighbor that might see us.  And I was frustrated that I didn't know how to
show Tommy the depths of my feelings.  I just wanted to hug him so tight he
couldn't breathe, kiss him so hard his teeth would ache, suck his penis and
make love to his bottom until we both flooded each other with cum, all at
the same time.  And I knew I couldn't do all that at once.  So after a few
minutes, I settled for rolling into his arms and hugging him on top of me.
We laid there for what seemed like hours, just hugging and kissing, licking
ears and necks, giving and receiving love bites, sometimes hard, sometimes
soft.

Speaking of soft, I began to imagine how nice it would be to experience
Tommy's penis soft.  But as soon as I would start to imagine that, I'd get
hard.  I bet he would too.
  Whatever.

After lunch, mom drove over to Megan's place to tel her the news.  Tommy
and I joined dad in the TV room.  Being a Saturday, there wasn't much on
besides golf and tennis, and none of us were into either of those sports,
so we didn't bother turning on the television.  Dad sat in his favorite
chair while Tommy and I curled up with each other on the couch.  We just
stared at each other for a long time.  I watched Dad's face as he watched
us, and when I saw a tear escape and leak down his cheek, I left Tommy and
climbed into my Dad's lap.  It was big enough, that's for sure.

"Are you alright, Dad?  It's going to be alright, isn't it?" I said.  I was
almost crying, too.

Dad hugged me to him and kissed my cheek.

"Of course it's going to be alright, son.  I really need for you and Tommy
to believe how happy I am for the two of you.  Most kids your age don't
really get to experience true love.  But I think I see that in your
relationship.  The fact that you are both boys doesn't mean a lot to me.
God created love just as he created man and woman.  His intention must
surely have been for marital love to result in procreation, but who am I to
say God's love can't exist in any given situation.  As long as you two love
each other without reservation or condition or restriction, I will be happy
for you.  Just looking at the two of you together on the blanket this
morning (I heard Tommy gasp when Dad said that) made me feel so good.  You
mom and I love each other as friends, and we always will.  Most
importantly, we still respect each other.  Your mom tells me she never
cheated on me sexually with Megan, and I believe her.  But it isn't fair of
me to deny them that expression of their love when your mom and I haven't
shared that as part of our relationship for a couple of years now.  The
sexual union of two people is a powerful force, Matthew.  And I want you to
listen to this, too, Tommy.  In the wrong situation that power can destroy.
But in the right situation, in the right relationship, that power can
solidify.  It can be the cement that bonds two people together permanently.
That's what I want for you two.  I don't know how far you have gone
already, but eventually I want you to experience that sexual union, while
you're young.  I'm hoping that it will convince you that you are to be
together, or you aren't.
  But I will always be here for you both.  Just don't let sex become a show
of disrespect, either for me or for each other.  Don't flaunt it; don't
abuse it; don't share it with anyone else while you're sharing it with each
other.  Fooling around with a few of your friends might be tempting, but
keep it to a minimum.  Don't let that sort of behavior sully the beauty of
what you share privately together.  OK?"

Diary, what could I say to that?  My dad is more awesome than I ever knew.
All I could say was "mmmm, hmmm." And I cuddled down into my dad's lap a
little further.

And that's what Tommy said, too, as he came over and sat in dad's lap with
me.  I thank God for dads with big laps.

I'm going to lie down for awhile, dairy.  My fingers are tired.  Back soon,
maybe.

e-mails can be sent to danielstepnoski678@hotmail.com