Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2021 15:19:00 +0000 From: Andrew Passey Subject: Summer in Ladakh Part Five (Young Friends) Mum didn't come back till much later and I was absolutely starving by then. We went straight out for dinner and she was full of her day on the course. As usual I wasn't interested but I let her waffle on, while my mind wandered to what happened earlier. Why did I fuck up and get scared? Where did Wangchuk live? What did he think of me after what I'd done? Those thoughts all raced through his head, leaving me confused and disappointed in himself. Once we were back in the room, things got worse and I was in for an unpleasant shock. "Pack your stuff up tonight Sammy, we're moving to a different guesthouse tomorrow," Mum said. "Why? And please don't call me Sammy, I'm not eight years old," I replied exasperatedly "Well.....I've met a very nice man on the breaks of the course these past few days. He's called Dorje. Remember I was telling you about him? He owns a guest house, much nicer than this one! His wife died last year leaving him to bring up his son alone so we've got a lot in common and he's invited us to come and stay there!" She said, smiling at me. A nervous smile I thought. She was up to something, and I felt that reminding me about dad dying wasn't a good opening gambit. "Oh so you bonded over having dead parents of your children. How charming. Anyway, you say he's "invited us"to stay? He owns a guest house, it's literally his job to fill those rooms!" I replied, starting to get increasingly annoyed at the whole thing. "Um Sammy, sorry I, well the good news is you'll have your own room!" She beamed as she told me this but I could read her well. Apparently we hadn't been able to afford a separate room for me up to now and neither had she shown much interest in it. This shithole of a guesthouse had been the "real india", all of a sudden it wasn't. Something was very clearly up. "And the bad news?" I asked. "There is no bad news," She replied still with a nervous smile. "There's always bad news if you say the good news is, but fine, I believe you. So I've got my own room, where will you be sleeping? In the room next to me?" I had an inkling that this was a sensitive issue and wanted to see what she said. She looked a bit sheepish. "Well Dorje very kindly offered to let me stay with him in the family house, it's separate from the guest house but next door" Mum said, trying to make it sound like the most natural thing in the world. I was quiet for a moment, "Oh right." I then said coldly. "What do you mean by that?" Mum asked bristling. Always on the defensive and always ready to strike out at me it seemed. "Nothing. I guess I should have known. Not so interested in the "real India" anymore? When you said you wanted to "find yourself" on this trip I hadn't realised you meant finding yourself in bed with every man you meet!" I meant to hurt her with my words and clearly succeeded. I definitely wasn't expecting the slap across the face she gave me though. It really stung and I held my hand to my face in shock as she looked at me with eyes blazing, "If you don't want to be treated like an eight year old then stop acting like one. Don't be such a fucking prude. After everything I've been through I deserve some love, some affection, some fun! So yes I'm having sex with men. So what? Sex is great. It can be with someone you love like your father, to bring someone into the world like you for all the good that has done me you ungrateful shit! Or it can be for enjoyment but most of all just for some fun. One day you'll understand it, when you're not just a naive little boy." There was real venom in her voice and her words hurt me deeply as she fired them at me. Yes I knew it was hard for her but what about how it was for me? I'd lost my Dad, had she ever thought about that? No. Just insisting on dragging me halfway across the fucking world so she could fuck a different man every few days. I wanted to voice my hurt, my upset but no words came out. I threw myself on my bed and got under the covers, putting on headphones and listening to music. "Sammy, I'm sorry," I heard her say later but I ignored her, the damage was already done. I fell asleep feeling the worst I had felt for many months, far from home, alone, just an appendage on my Mum's quest for her to be fucked by whoever she wanted. The next morning I pretended to be asleep and waited for her to get up for breakfast, then packed my stuff up. I went for breakfast when she came back and then took a walk on my own. Check out wasn't until 12 and I didn't want to spend any more time with her than I had to. I came back after the walk, she paid the bill and I followed her in silence to the new place, it was about a 20 minute walk to a definitely nicer part of town, closer to the gaming shop and the stream where I'd had the unfortunate incident with Wangchuk the day before. Mum tried to engage me in conversation a few times but I ignored her. "Don't worry sweetie, you can talk to me when you're ready, I know it's hard being a teenager!" She said. This really riled me up, how fucking dare she !? As if it was MY fault I was quiet rather than hers, like she hadn't slapped me the night before and called me an "ungrateful shit!". I was still seething inside but I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that. However she'd crossed a line and I didn't think that we could ever come back from it. We arrived at the guesthouse and I had to hand it to her, it was very nice. Definitely a big step up from the one in the "real India" part of town, this area was more touristy and more like a little Tibet with it being full of Ladakhis. The guesthouse wasn't huge but had a number of nice rooms in a well built building. It had a big garden running down to the stream I had been following yesterday although there was a big drop off so it wasn't really accessible. Dorje, the owner and Mum's "friend" showed us both the room I would be sleeping in, which was very nice. It had a balcony with a table and two chairs and a view of the mountains. I was very happy there was a big double bed which would be bliss after the small single ones I'd been sleeping in since I'd arrived in India. The bathroom was fine, nothing fancy but clean and it did have a small electric shower unit as a backup for when the solar panels on top hadn't heated the water. I sensed I probably had the best room in the guest house and it was clearly a power move by Dorje. The whole thing was bizarre, Mum had known him a few days at most yet was happy to move into his room leaving me to fend for myself. At least I had a nice room I guess. Dorje seemed nice enough though, very Tibetan features and he was certainly charming, helping Mum with her bags as they went into the main house. I didn't like to think about what would be going on in there, after all Mum had only just met him and already she was jumping into bed with him. Mind you that Italian guy in Manali got in her pants the first night within an hour or so of meeting her I reckoned. Ugh, what a repulsive thought. Still, I was just happy to have my own space and not to share a room with Mum. Our relationship was at rock bottom and I was planning on spending as little time with her as possible. Although I did also suspect that was her plan as well for different reasons that I wasn't happy about. I got settled in and unpacked my stuff, not that I had loads of things anyway and I wasn't really sure how long we were staying for. Mum had suggested we would be staying at least another week, but it also wouldn't surprise me if tomorrow Mum got bored of Dorje like she seemed to get bored of most men and we'd be moving again. However for now it helped me feel a bit more like the room belonged to me now some of my stuff was out on the table and the side. I went out to the balcony and the view from it was calming, something about the white peaks of Stok Kangri and the rest of the mountain range lifted my spirits. If I bent my head around I could just about see Leh Palace as well. All in all it was a pretty amazing view and a definite upgrade on anything I had stayed at up to now. I sat on a chair and drank in the view, feeling better than I had all day. Admittedly that was a low bar but it was really nice to just relax in the beautiful mountain view. There was a knock on the door which intruded on my relaxing, I opened it to see Mum standing there. "Sammy, me and Dorje are off for a walk, he's got some things in town he wants to show me. You're very welcome to come along!" Ha fat chance of that. "No. I'm tired," I replied with a withering look. Mum looked like she wanted to say something, but then she just shrugged and went off to find Dorje, leaving me on my own which at the moment was just the way I liked it. I had no desire to spend any time with Mum or Dorje but it wasn't a total lie, I was tired. I lay on my bed and decided to have a nap, I felt emotionally drained by the events of the past twenty four hours and a sleep was just what I needed.