Date: Mon, 23 Apr 2018 15:29:42 +0000 (UTC) From: D J Subject: The Grassy Hill Author's note: This story is a work of fiction, and the characters in it are not real persons. This work is copyright of the author and all rights are reserved. I hope you like it, and I appreciate all comments, praise, complaints, death threats or flames. Send them to Sahypo at dj92570j@yahoo.com. Thanks to everyone who has written to me; if you wish, please let me know a bit about you. I would like to know who my readers are, and what touches you about the story. Please donate to Nifty if you like the stories; your contributions provide this place and keeps it going. http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html The Grassy Hill Copyright 2018 By Sahypo The morning recess bell rang, and Kevin threaded his way through the desks out of the classroom, then followed the trail of humanity out of the building to the play yard. Once free of traffic, he walked over to Their Place and waited. He always met Robby at Their Place during recess, and they would talk, or sometimes just hang out for the twenty minutes if neither of them had anything in particular to say. It was much the same routine during afternoon recess. Fifth grade had been fairly easy for Kevin. Truth be known, every grade had been easy. Very bright, Kevin was naturally a good student, and always at the top of the class. He was often buried in thought and seemed to be distracted most of the time in social situations. Most of the other kids found him strange, or wrote him off without getting to know him, because he was shy and didn't participate in sports and games. Kevin was not much to look at. Thin, and of average height for an eleven-year-old, he didn't stand out in a crowd. Blue eyed with freckles and dishwater blond hair, Kevin was an average Caucasian child in a sea of similar boys. Robby was taller and heavier than Kevin, a boy who wasn't quite chubby, but could get there if he wasn't careful. Robby had dark hair, pale skin and brown eyes. He and Kevin had been assigned to the same table in second grade and spent each day across the table from one another. They had become fast friends that year, and Robby had come to know Kevin's idiosyncrasies over the last three years. Robby was the type of person who accepted things pretty much at face value and did not spend a lot of time analyzing hidden meanings, and so on. It did not bother him that Kevin often stared into his eyes, as if he were staring past him. Kevin just had things on his mind. Kevin appreciated Robby, because things were simple with him, and Robby never made Kevin feel self-conscious or uncomfortable Robby had always been an unremarkable average kid. He wasn't the kind to take the center of attention, did not stand out in any way. He sometimes fell behind in class, and would ask Kevin to help him understand something, and Kevin never failed to show Robby infinite patience and always managed to speak to Robby in a way that preserved the taller boy's dignity and self-esteem. In return, Robby gave Kevin his loyalty and companionship. He was Kevin's only real friend. Robby's father was a hard worker and a good dad. As a single parent, he devoted everything to the son he loved more than life itself. He had often worried about Robby and sought out his teachers and took Robby to doctors for testing when the boy began to fall behind in the first grade. They had all assured him that there was nothing wrong with Robby, and that he was doing as good as he could and to spend time with him in the evening when he had homework. The doctor who had delivered Robby and seen him as a baby had told him things that he had decided not to discuss with the boy unless Robby came to him with questions. As his friendship with Kevin grew, Robby's father welcomed having the smaller boy come and help Robby after school, and he often set a plate for Kevin and fed him at supper time. Kevin never spoke of his home life, but Robby knew that Kevin lived in a trailer park on the edge of town, and that his mother was on relief. She worked hard as a maid at the Motor Inn Motel, but the pay was low, and the hours long. He had once followed Kevin at a discrete distance, curious to know where his friend lived. When he learned the truth, he felt guilt and shame, as if he had violated his friends' privacy. He never tried to pry into things Kevin wasn't ready to talk about after that. In time, Kevin had invited Robby over after school, and while the trailer was small and old, it was clean and well kept. Kevin's father had bolted before Kevin was born, and his mother had given up trying to track him down only to find that he was either drifting or in jail. His mother was the only parent Kevin could remember, and he did not miss what he had never known. He did feel close to Robby's dad, who was always sure to ask Kevin how he was doing and was interested in his welfare. Robby had grown up in the middle of conflict between his parents, and a bitter legal fight that wound up with his mother being adjudicated an unfit parent. Frequent episodes of infidelity, and a final incident when Robby was left alone without supervision one night when his father was at work was enough for the judge to award sole custody to Robby's father. He had seen his mother twice in the seven years since she moved out. Kevin knew this history, and listened when Robby needed to talk about things, but he never brought it up. Robby often told Kevin things, and Kevin preferred to listen and occasionally offer an opinion or ask a question. The boys would often ride their bikes or walk all over the small town they lived in, and one of their favorite places was a grassy mound at the edge of town. A contractor had started a project on the property, and rumor had it that either the required permits didn't come through, or the developers ran out of money. In any event, the farthest the project got was leveling of several acres and impoundment of several hundred cubic yards of dirt into a large grassy mound close to thirty feet high on the edge of the property. After several years, it had the beginnings of a small forest on top, as the vegetation pushed up by the bulldozers took off and began to grow. Kids and teenagers would hang out on the mound, and the activities that took place largely depended on the time of day. It was usually deserted during the week, when Kevin and Robby would come after school. Kevin and Robby would often sit on the mound and look over town late in the evening and leave just before dusk to be home at dark. Kevin liked watching the stars come out sitting next to Robby, and in the last month or so, seemed more distant and distracted at times. Last Saturday, Kevin treated Robby to a movie at the theater in town, and they sat in the back row in their usual seats for the afternoon matinee. The boys had wanted to see a vampire flick that had been out for a week or so in major release but was just getting out to their town. Most of the teenagers had run into the city to stand in huge lines to see the film, so the theater was usually never packed during the matinee. During one especially tense scene, with a long build up, Kevin had grabbed Robby's arm when the vampire attacked, and held on to Robby maybe a bit longer and tighter than he needed to...if he had needed to hold on to Robby at all... "You know it's just a movie, dude, right?" Robby whispered. "Oh, sorry." Kevin replied, releasing Robby's arm. "That part was kinda scary." Robby gave Kevin a look that said "seriously?" but he pretty much forgot the incident before the end of the movie. They rode bikes until supper time and went their separate ways. The next day was Sunday, and the boys met up early in the morning and decided to go to the mound after breakfast. They got to their favorite place to sit on the deserted mound before it got too hot, and later they moved into the "forest" of brush and small trees. They sat next to each other and looked out over the empty lot. "Kev" Robby began. "Yeah?" Kevin replied. "Is anything going on, you know? I mean it seems like...you're somewhere else a lot when I talk to you." Robby pleaded. "It's...It's nothing. Don't worry." "I'm not worried...It's just...you're my best friend, and if there's something wrong..." "I can't really...talk about it." Kevin said, as he turned away. "Kevin?" Robby said, as he pulled on his friend's shoulder. "Did I do something? I'm sorry if I did something." Kevin turned back to face Robby with tears in his eyes. "No" Kevin whispered. "It's me. It's my fault." "What is?" Kevin's face screwed up as he began to cry and he turned away again. "I'll understand if you get pissed off at me, but I can't do this anymore. Just promise me no matter what, what I say stays between us. Please." "Um, okay, I promise" Robby replied, as he reached over to Kevin's hand and the boys locked pinkies on it. "What can't you do anymore?" "Pretend I don't have feelings for you." Kevin said in a whisper. "Yeah, I know, you're my best friend, I have feelings for you too." Robby replied. "No...Robby. Don't make this harder for me than it is...It's more than that...I've had a crush on you, for a while now. I grabbed you in the movie because I want to be close and touch you...and sometimes when ...Shit...I'm sorry, I shouldn't say this stuff.... Robby, I like boys, okay?" Kevin felt himself blush in embarrassment. "It's okay if you don't want to hang with me anymore...I get that." Kevin said, looking down. Robby sat for a moment not saying anything, but he didn't get up or move away, either. "Are you saying you don't want to be my friend anymore, Kevin?" "No! Oh God, no! If I was, this wouldn't be so hard to do. I'm scared to death you're gonna get mad and hate me now." Kevin's tears fell and he wiped his nose and eyes with his hand. "But it's been driving me nuts inside and I had to tell you." Robby put his arm around Kevin's shoulders and held him close for a long moment. "I'm not mad at you, I don't hate you and I'm not gonna stop being your friend. I'm pretty sure I like girls though." "Robby...I wouldn't...I'd never do anything to mess with our friendship, okay?" "I know you wouldn't. I wasn't thinking anything like that, anyway." Robby admitted. "Uh, how long have you known that you're uh...um." "Gay, Robby? I guess I always have." "You mean the whole time I've known you?" "And a long time before that." "Does your mom know?" Robby asked. Kevin shook his head. "You're the only one who knows." Kevin admitted. "Gonna tell her? It might be easier to tell than to keep a secret." Robby suggested. "I have to sometime, I guess..." Kevin began. They both sat there processing their private thoughts for several minutes before Robby spoke again. "So...Like what is going on now that's different all of a sudden?" "I daydream about boys and stuff and I'm getting boners all the time now." Kevin replied. Robby and Kevin had never had an occasion to see each other undressed; the closest they came was in the summer when they met at the pool, but they would each change at home and didn't use the locker room since the pool was within short bike rides from their houses. Robby's experience with erections was limited to morning trips to the bathroom to relieve his bladder when he woke up. He was not yet preoccupied with the budding of sexuality like Kevin appeared to be, and his erections were not sexually motivated at present. "Is that why you're off in space so much?" Robby wondered. "Yeah, Sorry." Robby thought about that for a moment before continuing. He was almost afraid to ask this, but he had to know "Am I in your daydreams too?" "Robby, I..." "I just want to know, that's all...Please, Kevin." "I'm sorry, I know it's wrong and I shouldn't...be curious." "It's okay. I wanted the truth." Kevin stared down into his hands as Robby continued to hold Kevin as they sat on the mound. "We're good, okay?" Robby said, to reassure Kevin. Kevin nodded and blinked back tears. "Thanks, Robby" Kevin whispered. They sat for several minutes, both of them absorbing the fact that things had changed between them, but their commitment to their friendship remained as strong as before. Kevin dried his eyes on his shirt and collected himself, as Robby patiently waited. Finally, he stood up. "I want to go do something" Robby said. "Wanna go for a ride?" Kevin asked. "Yeah." Robby replied as he got up and began the trip down to the base of the mound where their bicycles were parked. Kevin followed and asked "Where we going?" "Everywhere, nowhere." Robby responded, in the way he usually did when he just wanted to ride around without a particular destination. "Got any money?" Kevin asked. "Nope." "Me neither. Guess we can skip Michy's." Kevin replied, referring to a small neighborhood store the kids frequented. It was close to school and had a huge candy rack, comic books and toys, and a lunch counter at the back of the store where you could get a cheeseburger, fries and a drink for two dollars and fifty cents. An old man and his wife ran the place and had for over forty years. There was no cussing allowed in the store and a huge crucifix on the wall over a sign that read "God watches you". It scared most of the kids, but few admitted that. The only person who had tried shoplifting there was a ten-year-old boy the old man had caught in the act. That was eight years ago. The guilty party had elected to work off what he couldn't pay for that day, and the couple had taken the boy on as part time help when his indiscretion was paid up. He would leave this job to start college in the fall. Most of the town's kids just assumed the teenager was the old couple's grandson, but they never had children. The boy had graduated close to the top of his high school class and had been accepted at a state four-year school close by. He had been terribly depressed because there was no way his family could afford to send him, and the old man caught him crying one day soon after he had gotten the acceptance letter in the mail. "You're going to school, and your gonna graduate! No excuses, Samuel! You don't worry about no bills. I'll worry about that. Now get your scrawny ass back to work, kid!" he said, as he ruffled the boys' head of red hair. He needed a haircut, that one. He always needed a haircut. The awkward teen hugged the old man, and said "Yes, Sir!" as he turned back to taking the trash and empty boxes out the back door with an ear-to-ear grin on his face. Samuel had become part of the old couple's family and lived in an efficiency apartment they owned above the store. It was a good arrangement that provided security for the store after hours and gave the boy a refuge from a life of poverty and want at home, where he had shared a bed with two other brothers. Kevin and Robby rode around the little town and crisscrossed all the usual spots and hang outs until they got tired and bored with it. "Wanna go to my place?" Kevin asked. It was four in the afternoon and neither of them had anywhere to be until later. "Sure." Robby replied, as he turned his handlebars in the direction of Kevin's trailer. "Wanna stop by the motel?" he asked, since it was on their way. "Nah, I'll see Mom when she gets off work at six." Kevin replied. Ten minutes later, they pulled up at the trailer and got off their bikes. Kevin reached into his pocket and took the key out and unlocked the door. The trailer was a bit warm inside, and Kevin began opening windows as he pulled his shirt off and took off his shoes. Robby also took his shirt and shoes off, since Kevin's mother didn't allow shoes in the house. Sometimes in the hottest days of summer, the boys would dress down to their briefs. The trailer did have air conditioning, and it would run at night when it cost less, and they were trying to sleep. "Want anything?" Kevin asked as he opened the refrigerator and removed a package of bologna and a bottle of ketchup. "Um, sure. Do you like beer?" Robby asked, pointing at several cans of beer in the fridge. "Never tasted it.... You?" Kevin asked. "Uh-uh. My dad drinks it now and then." "Wanna try it?" Kevin wondered. "Won't your mom get mad if we take one of her beers?" Robby worried. "Don't know, never done it before." Kevin reached in and grabbed the can, and popped the tab. He took a sip and handed the can to Robby. They both found the taste somewhat disagreeable, and Kevin asked "Well?" "It's not my thing." Robby replied. "Mine either." Kevin said as he put the open can back in the refrigerator. They made sandwiches and ate them watching TV. Robby leaned forward on the couch and asked "How long until your mom gets home?" "Um, like two hours maybe." Kevin replied, not taking his eyes off the TV program. Robby got up and went back toward Kevin's room, presumably to use the restroom. Robby had something else in mind as he undressed and left his pants and briefs on Kevin's bed. He closed his eyes and thought to himself... Am I really going to do this? as he walked back out to the living room in nothing but his socks. Kevin was watching TV and not really paying attention to Robby, until Robby stepped next to Kevin and stood there. "You're um, you're..." Kevin began. "Naked...I know...you don't need to be curious now." Robby said. He stood with his hands at his side, and let Kevin look him over. Robby's small, short penis was a bit thicker than Kevin had imagined, almost as thick as it was long, with a foreskin that only covered the top of his smooth glans about halfway. The edge of the prepuce tapered back into the sides of Robby's shaft, leaving no foreskin under his penis. Kevin could see only a small cleft at the bottom of Robby's glans. There was no indication of an opening at the tip. The small scrotum held a single almond sized testicle that hung loosely to the right under Robby's penis. There was no pubic hair visible on Robby's smooth groin. Kevin wasn't sure that Robby was aware that he looked different, so he didn't ask questions or comment on things during Robby's show and tell. "Robby...you didn't have to do this, but thanks." Kevin said as he stood up and slipped his pants and briefs off, freeing his thin, three and a half-inch erect circumcised rod, which snapped up against his belly. A small collection of downy pubic hairs was visible above his penis, and his smooth scrotum held two grape sized testicles. "Wow, you got hair, dude!" Robby exclaimed. "Yup, just started." Kevin said, looking down onto his rigid tool. "What about yours?" "Not yet." Robby replied. "I know, it's tiny." "It won't always be. Trust me, when it starts it goes fast" Kevin assured him, as he began to slip his briefs back up. "Um, can we...you know, hang out, like naked?" Robby asked. "We never done that before." "Um, sure, that sounds fun...can't really help the boner, so..." "That's okay, I don't care if you don't." Robby replied. Kevin slipped his briefs back off and sat down on the couch again. From his biology class on human reproduction and the books he found in the medical section of the library, Robby knew that he wouldn't look like Kevin when this time came. He wasn't sure what Kevin's reaction would be when he saw Robby's differences, but he didn't expect a lack of one. Kevin had noticed quite a bit actually and continued to observe Robby's endowment as they sat together on the couch. It took two commercial breaks in the program they were watching for Kevin to finally gather the moxie to ask Robby about it. "Is there just one?" Kevin asked, not looking away from the TV. Robby knew exactly what Kevin was asking. "Uh huh." Kevin digested that for a long moment before he asked his next question. "Where does the pee come out?" Robby put his finger under his penis and lifted the stubby organ so Kevin could see the orifice underneath, where the glans and shaft met. "I'm pretty sure I was born like this." Robby said. "Did you ask your dad about it?" Kevin suggested. "Not yet... you probably think I'm a freak now." "I'd knock the living shit out of anyone who said that about you...or get my ass kicked trying." Kevin said calmly, as he looked into Robby's dark eyes. "Look...I don't know why your um, stuff is like that, but it doesn't make you a freak. Don't say that, okay?" Kevin held out his pinkie, and Robby nodded as he hooked pinkie fingers with Kevin. It was now a binding contract. "Whoa! That was pretty fast!" Kevin expressed his surprise when he looked down at Robby's lap again and saw that his friend's small organ had become erect and was slightly thicker than his own boyhood. The rigid shaft curved slightly toward Robby's feet, and the foreskin flap now rested behind the rim of the wide purple glans. A large vein was now visible on the shaft. Robby giggled. "It's hard because I have to pee." Although he did have to urinate, his erection was also partly due to Kevin's willingness to defend and accept him. He got up from the couch and padded back to the bathroom next to Kevin's room and left the door open. Kevin, being curious, got up and followed Robby, and stood in the doorway watching. Robby's stream began to flow at a downward angle until his erection eased, and the boy pressed his penis lower as the stream began to rise as he became more flaccid. Kevin figured "what the hell" and stood next to Robby and peed with him. It was about time for his mother to get home, and the boys dressed again after they finished. Kevin's mother came in the door with a sack of groceries and set it on the kitchen table with her purse as Kevin came over and gave her a kiss and closed the front door. "Hi, baby. Hey Robby!" "Hi, how was work?" Robby asked. "It's a job, not quite a living." She responded. "My dad says he works like he gets paid, a little at a time." Robby replied. Kevin's mother smiled at the little joke as she opened the refrigerator and began putting the items inside. "Um, Kevin...there's... an open can of beer in the fridge?" his mother asked, confused. "We left it for you." "We?" "Me and Robby wanted to know what beer tasted like, so we took a sip." Kevin said, matter-of-factly. He had never hidden anything or lied to his mom about anything, and for her part, she gave Kevin a lot of leeway to make his own decisions, as long as he exercised good judgement. She resisted her first instinct to scold the boys and decided to hear them out ...before she killed them. "So, what was the verdict?" she asked. "We don't care much for it, I guess. That's why I left it in there for you." "I'm not sure Robby's dad would be okay with him drinking beer, honey..." "Um, we couldn't even get past the taste of it, Mom. Is it really drinking if you don't swallow?" "Oh, I see...Um, when did you start law school?" She teased. "Come on, Mom. You know I'm gonna be a piano player in a strip joint when I grow up." Kevin shot back. Robby doubled over in laughter, and his mother stifled a grin. "Wise ass! How do you know strip joints have pianos?" She replied. Two could play this game! When everyone stopped giggling, she asked "So, are you two saying that you're done with beer?" "Pretty much" Kevin replied. "Been there, done that." Robby chimed in, cracking Kevin's mother up. "Robby, you're eleven going on forty-seven, aren't you?" Robby grinned and nodded. He was one of Kevin's mother's favorite people, and over the years that Robby and Kevin had been friends, she had become a sort of surrogate mother to the boy, helping to fill in that missing part in Robby's life. Kevin's mother took the can out and sampled it. "Well, it's not flat yet...no sense wasting it...listen, the next time you two want to experiment, just ask me, okay?" Both boys turned beet red and Kevin sheepishly answered "Okay, mom." She knew there must have been more to it than that, but decided it was probably best not to press the question. Kevin had admitted to opening the beer, after all. "Just tell me that neither one of you is curious about smoking, please." "Um, that's true, we're not." Robby replied, and Kevin nodded. "That's so yucky, Mom." Kevin added. She sat down at the table and Kevin pulled a chair up in front of her. She picked up one foot and Kevin put it on his knee and began to massage his mother's tired feet. "Ah, that's so much better, baby, thanks." She said as she sipped her beer. Kevin enjoyed this little ritual he and his mother shared. He knew that things were hard, and there wasn't much he could do at his age to contribute other than provide most of the housekeeping. He had learned to keep the trailer clean from a young age and vacuumed the floor, washed the small number of dishes they used and ran the laundry in the morning after he took his shower before school. "Robby, are you staying for dinner?" she asked, as she put her other foot up for Kevin. "Is it okay?" It was Robby's way of asking if a third mouth to feed was going to be a burden. "Sure, call your dad, make sure it's alright with him." Robby made the call and had a short conversation with his father about school, and how each other's day had gone. His father finished the call with a reminder. "Try to be home before dark, little buddy. You got school tomorrow." "I will Dad...love you, bye." "You too, Killer. Bye" Dinner was sloppy Joe sandwiches, and the boys each made three before they were done eating. The boys got up from the table and carried their plates to the sink, and Kevin asked "Wash or dry?" It was a routine they played every time Robby ate with them, and this time Robby elected to dry and stack. Kevin began running hot water and quickly had the dishes scrubbed and rinsed and handed the plates to Robby before attacking the skillet. In less than five minutes the boys had everything washed, dried and stacked in the cabinet, and Kevin's mother caught the evening news before taking her shower. Kevin and Robby played Battleship on the kitchen table for a while until Robby decided to head home. He hugged Kevin's mother quickly, then Kevin walked with him out to their bikes and the boys looked into each other's eyes for a long moment. "Thanks, Kevin, you know, for what you said." Kevin nodded, and said "You too, Robby, for sticking with me and stuff." The boys hooked pinky fingers again to "shake" on it. "See you at school tomorrow then." "Yeah." Kevin nodded. Robby rode down the dirt street through the trailer park, and Kevin went back inside. Robby got back home just at dusk, and found his father working on the bills at the kitchen table. He greeted his dad and sat down and watched him for a while, until his father noticed and looked up. Robby hadn't said anything, and his father knew that something was on Robby's mind. "Eeeeyeah...What's up, Doc?" his father asked in a pretty good Bugs Bunny impersonation. It usually made Robby giggle, but this time, the boy came right to the point. "Dad...um...are you proud of me? Like do I make you happy, and stuff like that?" Robby asked nervously. His father thought for a moment before he answered. "Of course you do...if there was a problem we'd talk about it, right?" his father replied. Robby nodded. "Robby, I'm always proud of you, and you do make me happy. Is something making you question that?" "Um, not really, but..." Robby hesitated. "Hmmm, sounds like something's been on your mind a while, little buddy" the man began putting away the bills, envelopes and check book. Robby nodded. "Do you wish I wasn't different sometimes?" "Robby, we're.... all of us are different in some way. But no, I don't wish you were something that you're not, okay? You're my son, and I love you for who you are, the way you are...Did something happen?" "Uh-uh, not really." Robby replied, shaking his head, which told his father that something had indeed happened, and Robby would continue when he was ready. "Um, Dad.... Why is my um, ...why don't I look like other boys?" Robby blurted out. His father knew that at some time, this day would come, and he would be having this frank discussion with his son. He had dreaded the thought for quite a while, but as Robby got older, he realized that this would be just as difficult for Robby, as it would be for himself. Now that the moment had arrived, he felt relief knowing that his boy was ready to know the things he had been "protecting" Robby from. "You want to know about your male parts." Robby nodded. "I had always wondered when you would come to me and ask about that...When you were born the opening in your penis was a bit lower than usual, and your left testicle wasn't descended. These things happen...the penis thing is somewhat rare, but the undescended testicle is a lot more common. Anyway, that's what Doc Murray told us." He was careful not to say "normal" because he didn't want to convey to Robby that his genitals were defective or had to be "fixed" to be adequate or desirable. "I'm just curious...how did you figure out you were different, son? You and I never talked about this until now." "From the books...you know... the ones you can't take out of the library. There's pictures and stuff...They don't..." "I know, little buddy. It probably confused you a lot." Robby nodded. "Yeah." He whispered. "That's okay, we can talk about this so you aren't confused. The doctor also said that boys that have this can sometimes have some curvature of the penis as well, when it's um, excited. That's normal too." his father stated, remembering the times Robby would come into the bathroom in the morning to pee while he shaved at the sink, and Robby rarely if ever closed the bathroom door when it was just him and his father at home. Robby had not been brought up to be self-conscious and was often nude right out of bed in the morning. The curvature, or chordee was quite obvious at those times. "You have that flap of skin on top, because the doc said not to circumcise you." Robby had heard of circumcision and seen pictures of foreskins in books, but the only penises he had ever seen were his dad's and Kevin's circumcised organs, and his own penis. Up to this point, he had not made the connection that the flap of tissue across the top of his glans was his foreskin. "Why not?" "In case you would ever want to have the opening moved to the tip, they use that skin." "Use it how?" "It's an operation, Robby...surgery." Robby was very quiet for a moment as the gears began to turn. "Will it...you know...will I be able to do it... if I don't have an operation?" "Yes, it will work just fine the way it is. You're about to find out that there's nothing to worry about when it comes down to that." "What do you mean, Dad?" "You probably have a year or two, then a lot of changes will happen. When that starts, your little buddy is going to get important for more things than just peeing." Robby had a confused look on his face. "You mean," Robby said as he made a hand motion familiar to every boy on Earth. "You got it. Yes" Was this what Kevin was going through? Robby thought. "Is that when hair starts growing and stuff too?" "Yes, that's part of it." His father replied. Robby digested this and decided to file that away for later. He wanted to ask his father something else. "So, um, what about my ball, Dad?" Robby wondered. "Well, a few months after you were born, the doctor said that he couldn't see or feel your left testicle. That's not unusual for little boys to have them up inside sometimes. It happens. So, they do tests and things, and if the testicle is up inside there is an operation to move it down into the sack. You did have ultrasounds and a CT scan, but they couldn't find it inside and, in the end, they think that it probably was never there. If it had been there, we would have had it fixed, Robby, I promise." "It's okay, Dad. I know you would have. So, what happens when a boy has only one?" Robby asked quietly. "Nothing different, really. You only need one to grow up and have a family. And you can't get racked on that side. That's a good thing, I suppose." They both laughed at his father's little joke, until Robby grew serious again and looked down at the table as he spoke. "Dad? Um...Am I why mom left us?" His father took a long pause, shocked at the question, and carefully considered his reply before he spoke. "Oh...little buddy...No. You'll never get me to believe that, Robby. I...I'm sure that she would have left anyway, you had nothing to do with it. I never blamed you for that, and I never will. Our marriage was probably never meant to be, but having you was worth every minute of it. You listen to me, now, you hear?" Robby looked up as his father lifted his chin gently so he could look into his son's eyes. "It wasn't your fault Robby. You didn't make her leave, and you couldn't have stopped her. She wasn't ready to be a wife and mother, and she had to go chase whatever was calling her away from us. That's the honest to God's truth, little buddy. Promise me that you won't go through life blaming yourself for what she did." Robby tried to answer his father, but his mouth quivered and he couldn't speak. He nodded as tears welled up in his eyes, and he snorted and sniffed a little as his father put his arm around him and gave him a minute or two. He hugged onto his father and tried to control his emotions. "I know it's tough sometimes. You okay?" Robby nodded, and wiped his eyes. "Did you get the answers you needed, son?" "Uh-huh. Thanks, Dad." Robby loosened the hug on his father and stood up. "Is there anything else you wanted to talk about, little buddy?" Robby shook his head. "No...I'm kinda tired now. I'm gonna take my shower." Robby went down the hall to his room and took his clothes off. He was tired and decided to get a quick shower before he went to bed. This had been quite a day for him, his father and Kevin. The world had changed in a small way, in his little corner of it. The warm water ran down over his body, and he relaxed as he rinsed the shampoo out of his hair and watched the foam go down the drain. He imagined the water finding its way to the sea and thought about life in the ocean and wondered if things were simpler there. He decided that the fish probably had enough problems staying alive, and that the few problems he had in life paled in comparison. His father loved him unconditionally, and the talk had helped him put some things to rest finally. His best friend had taken an enormous risk to reveal a closely guarded secret, and he had entrusted this boy with things about him that only his doctor and father knew. After he dried, he put on a pair of briefs and went out to the living room where he found his father watching TV and reading the sports section of the local newspaper. He cuddled up beside the man and tried to watch the program, but his eyes got heavier and soon the sound of snoring could be heard during quiet moments. His father looked down at Robby and stroked his hair gently. He had wondered what his son would be like as Robby grew up, and he realized that they were living that time now. His little boy wasn't the five or seven-year-old that he had once carried to bed in moments like this. Adolescence was knocking on the door, and he only hoped that he would always have a close and loving relationship with Robby. He slowly eased Robby into a sitting position and put Robby's arms over his shoulders. "Robby...Robby, grab on to me. Time for bed." Robby's eyes opened slightly, and he held on as he was lifted off the couch and carried to his room. His father poured Robby into bed and covered the boy. "Good night, little buddy." Robby was mostly asleep and tried to reply but was snoring again moments later.