The indigo sky stretched endlessly above, dotted with the first twinkles of stars. The woman shivered, pulling her patch-covered windproof jacket tighter. Stray strands of hair escaped her woolen beanie, framing her determined expression with soft wisps. The last of the daylight had slipped away, leaving the mountains cloaked in shadows, but the campsite around her hummed with subdued energy. Small groups of people huddled near their tents, their silhouettes softened by the glow of their lanterns, as the clinking of utensils filled the cold air.
Freshly fallen snow crunched beneath her boots as she adjusted her headlamp, its beam sweeping across the darkness, casting long and eerie shadows. Muffled chatter emanated from the tents as she made her way across the site. She reached a small red tent set apart from the rest, brushed off the snowflakes that clung to her jacket, unzipped the tent, and stepped inside.
“Hey, thought you might join me,” came a man’s smooth and deep voice. He sat cross-legged, cradling a steaming mug. “Seeking some… relief?” he asked with a mischievous grin.
“Depends what you mean,” she said, taking off her gloves to show him her wedding ring. “Just here to warm up a bit,” she added with a polite smile.
“This climb’s been one for the books, huh?” he said, taking a sip from his mug.
“Definitely. Reminds me of our trip to the Rockies,” she said, taking a seat.
“Our being… you and the hubby?” He tilted his head slightly.
She chuckled. “No,” she said, reaching into her jacket and pulling out a little slip of paper. “I mean ‘our’ as in me and this little explorer.” She handed him the slip of paper, a photo of her and a young boy with a pair of red glasses, their faces alight with joy in front of a rocky wall.
“I see! A true partner in adventure!” He eyed the photo closely. “He’s got your spirit.”
“He does. We do everything together—hiking, biking, exploring. He’s up for anything,” she said with a smirk.
“Sounds like you’ve hit the jackpot.”
“I sure did! We’re more than just mother and son; it’s like we’re like best friends. I almost brought him here, but he’d appreciate something like this more when he’s at least a teenager.”
He handed back the photo. “He sounds special. What’s his name?”
"His name is Jonah," she replied, her voice filled with warmth as the cold winds howled in the distance.
Ray stood awkwardly in front of the mirror, his suit clinging so tightly to him it was like an unwelcome second skin. His jacket made a faint ripping sound as he bent his arms, and looking down, he could see that his pants ended a good few centimeters above his ankles, revealing his black socks. Was there anything worse than this?
“This is stupid! Why can’t I just wear something normal that actually fits? And doesn’t feel like a boa constrictor?” Ray tugged frustratedly at the strangling collar.
“Ray, it’s only for today,” his mother replied from outside the door. “You wanted to do this, you need a suit, that’s all we have.”
A pair of loud footsteps came from outside the door. “I know it’s probably a bit snug, buddy, but let’s try to make the best of it, okay?” The door swung open, and his dad stepped inside the bathroom.
Ray met his gaze in the mirror. “I look like a loser,” he mumbled.
“No, you look so handsome,” his mom said, appearing behind her husband, reaching her hand out. “Now, let me just fix your hair…”
“No!” Ray squealed. “I can do it.” He caught his wary reflection in the mirror. His brown hair was getting long, with unruly strands beginning to curl slightly near his shoulders. With a deep breath, he straightened his posture. “I don’t want to though.”
Throughout the car ride, Ray absentmindedly fidgeted with the hem of his suit jacket, trying to keep his mind off the growing nervousness in his stomach. He could tell from his parents’ murmurs that they were also anxious about not knowing anyone.
When they pulled into the parking lot, Ray’s heart skipped a beat when he spotted a familiar figure standing amongst a group dressed in black. The boy looked up at the same moment, their eyes locking from a distance. He was taller than Ray remembered, wearing a suit that actually fit him. What caught him off guard was the absence of his trademark cap; in its place, short, brown, neatly-combed hair. “Jonah!”
Ray was barely out of the car when Jonah charged him, embracing him in a hug somehow tighter than his clothes. Jonah pulled away, his eyes shining with glee. “Ray! Holy freaking freak, I can’t believe it’s been like three months since I last saw you!”
“I know!” Ray said, his anxiety about the day quickly fading away. “It doesn’t feel like it!”
“Yeah, because we’re so good at staying in touch,” Jonah said, taking a step back and looking over his shoulder. “Oh! You’ve got to meet my dad. He keeps saying, ‘I’ll believe this mysterious Ray exists when I see him with my own eyes.’”
“Huh?”
“Dad!” Jonah yelled, waving into the crowd. “This way!”
Ray straightened his too-tight jacket as best he could, and mustered the politest smile he could manage. Jonah’s dad looked like an older version of Jonah, only without glasses. He jogged over to them.
“Hello, sir,” Ray said.
“So this is him, huh?” he said, putting his hands on Jonah’s shoulders as he looked Ray up and down. “In our house, I refer to you as Professor Phone Bill.”
Ray’s cheeks warmed. “Uh, sorry about that,” he mumbled, casting his eyes towards the ground.
Jonah’s dad chuckled and reached out to ruffle Ray’s hair before pulling him into a hug. “Don’t you dare apologize! Thank you for coming today, little Ray. It’s good to meet you. And thank you… truly, for being there for Jonah this summer.”
“Oh. You’re welcome.”
“Even though we got kicked out of camp, it was still one of the best summers ever!” Jonah exclaimed. He and his dad grinned at each other.
“I know it’s been a tough road for you, Ray,” his dad said, “but we’re both so genuinely glad you’re here.” With a supportive nod, he left to greet Ray’s parents.
Jonah walked off, weaving through the small gatherings of people, and Ray followed him. “So… uh, where is she?”
Jonah paused, a solemn expression crossing his face. “Right. Let me introduce you.”
He took Ray by the elbow and steered him away from the boisterous clusters of guests towards a quieter part of the beach. Ray looked towards the ocean as they walked, the soft sound of waves rolling onto the shore filling the silence. Placed around the area were framed photographs, vibrant flowers, scattered petals, and flickering candles. They approached a small table draped in a simple, elegant cloth where a beautiful ceramic urn was perched atop a polished wooden pedestal. Its surface was adorned with a meticulously hand-painted mountain range, greens and browns capped with wisps of white. All Ray could think was that it looked expensive.
Jonah extended a hand, urging Ray closer.
“What’s that?” Ray asked, confused.
“We had her cremated,” Jonah explained, his gaze lingering on the urn.
Ray’s brows furrowed in even more confusion. “Oh. What’s that?”
Jonah took a steadying breath. “It means… her ashes are in there.” Noticing Ray’s expression, he added, “It’s a thing people do.”
“Oh. Weird.”
Jonah gave a small, understanding chuckle. “Yeah, I know, right? People can be… a little bit strange.”
Ray’s eyes darted around the beach. “So there’s no coffin?”
“No,” Jonah said, gently shaking his head. “This is her. Just… this.”
A childlike burst of laughter startled them as a group of barefoot boys in suits rushed them, their faces flushed from running and laughing. “Jonah!” one of them called, completely out of breath. “Want to play? Also, you missed it, Damian totally fucking smashed his head into a pole!”
Jonah glanced at Ray, then back at the kid’s eager face. “Sorry, guys,” he said, “my best friend from camp is here, and I haven’t seen him in a long time, so we’re gonna catch up a little. But, then we’ll come play!”
The boy nodded understandingly, and the group darted back to the makeshift soccer field they came from.
Jonah’s face relaxed into a smile as he turned back to Ray. “Let’s take a walk. That way we can talk without interruptions.”
Ray agreed and they walked over to a weathered log to take off their shoes and socks, then started down the long stretch of beach.
“It’s weird, having everyone around trying to cheer me up,” Jonah said. “They mean well, but it’s like they’re here to have fun, like this is a birthday, or a wedding, or something. They don’t get that that’s not what I want right now. But, you seem to get it somehow, Ray. It means everything that you’re here.”
Ray studied Jonah who stood tall, walking with strength in his stride. “You look like you’re doing okay.”
Jonah let out a small sigh, his eyes distant. “I’m holding it together.”
Ray looked down at the sand. “I’m sorry about your mom,” he finally said, the words already feeling inadequate as they came out.
“Thanks, Ray, but you don’t gotta be sorry. I’m just glad she’s not suffering any longer.”
Ray’s voice dropped to a near whisper. “Yeah, but still. She was your mom. It stinks to not have that anymore.”
Jonah didn’t reply. He stopped walking, and Ray did too. Ray peered up at his face, his expression thoughtful. Jonah sighed. “I wish we did have a little more time together,” Jonah said, a wistful tremor in his voice. “I mean, we got to go camping and hiking a bunch, but we never got to do the huge expedition we always talked about doing. Did I ever tell you she climbed Denali? All the way in Alaska! Even further north than Abbotsford!”
Ray watched his face, the smile on his lips failing to hide the storm brewing in his eyes. They gazed out at the endless ocean.
Jonah’s voice, when it came, was a whisper. “I never had more fun with anyone than I did with her,” he said, turning to Ray. “Have you ever had a connection with someone so deep that you barely even need to talk? Like, you just get each other?” He cast his eyes down at the sand. “That’s what I had with her… and now it’s just… gone. Not just her, but that whole part of me, too.” A tremor ran through his body, and he bit his lip, fighting back the tears that welled in his eyes. “She was probably my best friend. I don’t even know what to do now.”
The waves continued to crash intermittently beside them. The sun painted the beach in a warm glow, while the shadows of the trees stretched long and thin, like skeletal fingers reaching out to them.
Jonah’s attention shifted abruptly as he caught sight of tears streaming down Ray’s cheeks. “Shit, you alright?” he blurted out.
Wordlessly, Ray sat down in the sand, the grains cool and comforting. Jonah sat beside him, and Ray extended his hands towards him in a silent plea. Jonah gripped them protectively. Ray drew in a deep breath. When he spoke, his voice was a soft murmur, nearly lost in the waves. “There’s something I should tell you.”
Ray emerged from the cool water, droplets cascading down his brown hair and tracing shimmering paths down his skin. He hoisted himself onto the tile deck and grabbed his towel from the nearby lounge chair to wrap himself in. Glancing at the table beside him, his eyes shot to the tall, empty glass with a colorful umbrella abandoned next to it. A frown creased his forehead, and he spun around.
“Where is he?” Ray demanded in a high-pitched voice that lacked his intended level of authority.
His parents, lounging next to him, looked around with little concern. “Maybe at the room,” his mom suggested.
Ray’s jaws clenched, and he marched towards the hotel, his small feet slapping against the sun-baked tiles. The squealing and splashing faded behind him as he stepped inside the hotel’s luxurious interior, shivering as the air-conditioned coolness touched his bare skin. He made his way to the elevators and pressed the button three times in rapid succession, his determined expression staring back at him in the golden reflection.
As he waited, he was struck by a realization and whirled around, hurrying back outside, past the pool, and to the beach. The sand was hot against his feet but he was undeterred, making his way to the rugged landscape where the sand met a jumble of rocks. He clambered over the rocky terrain, stumbling as a sharp pain shot through his toe, eliciting a shout of growing frustration.
He emerged onto a secluded cove, just enough of a hassle away from the crowded beach to deter seemingly everyone. Well, everyone except one.
“Asher!” Ray shouted. A boy dressed in his same orange swim trunks looked up, his viridescent eyes filled with surprise and guilt. Beside him, a magnificent sandcastle stood proudly, seeming to mock Ray’s frustration. Ray stalked towards him, his forced stomping completely inaudible in the sand. “Why the heck did you drink my damn piña colada?”
The playful smile vanished from Asher’s face. His shoulder-length, light brown hair whipped around as he turned his head in defiance. “So I was thirsty,” he mumbled. “Extra thirsty,” he added, attempting to lighten the mood with a forced grin.
Ray folded his arms. “And why are you out here by yourself? Dad said it’s not safe.”
“I just wanted to be alone for a bit.”
“But still, it’s not okay to do that,” Ray insisted. “Remember when you got lost at the airport? You at least have to stay with me.”
Asher remained silent, brushing some sand off his legs as he gritted his teeth. “Really you should be staying with me,” he finally said. “Since I’m the older one.”
Ray scoffed. “By, like, two seconds!”
“So?” Asher retorted, puffing out his chest. “Still older.”
“Stupid!”
“Idiot. You're so dumb.”
Ray’s frustration boiled over, and without thinking, he lashed out, smashing his foot into Asher’s sandcastle, spraying grains of sand everywhere in a miniature explosion.
“Why would you do that?!” Asher shrieked. “I spent a long time on that!”
Ray’s fists, previously clenched in anger and defiance, slowly unfurled as the regret settled in the pit of his stomach. “I…just…” he stammered. “You…you shouldn’t have drank my drink,” he said, his voice far less confident.
Asher scrambled to his feet and stormed off, wading into the ocean.
Ray watched him go and looked down at the wreckage of the sandcastle, then at a collection of seashells arranged in pairs beside it. The sight of one particular pair—two pinkish scallop shells—made his heart ache. Just the previous night they were smearing birthday cake all over each others’ faces, laughing so hard that the now ten-year-old Asher had a coughing fit.
Asher always left to be alone whenever they fought. Or, more accurately, whenever Ray screwed up. He sniffled, holding back tears, and crouched to brush the sand from the scattered shells. There were spiral conches, scallop shells, cockles; so many different colors.
He walked to the water’s edge. Asher was floating out in the waves, his back to the shore. Ray looked down at the coarse sand, the tide flowing over it, and began gathering shells. Maybe this was the way to make things right.
His first pair consisted of small, spiral shells of swirling soft pinks and creamy whites. Next to them lay a pair of smooth, clam-like shells, a glossy pearl exterior with faint streaks of purple. Time melted away as he became engrossed in his search.
After a while, he paused and looked up. He glanced around the empty beach, then out at the water. Asher wasn’t there. Shielding his eyes against the glare of the sun, he finally spotted Asher’s small head far out in the water. What was he doing all the way out there?
Asher lifted his arms, waving them frantically. Ray froze, jolted into a state of panic, and dropped his shells. He looked out again to make sure he wasn’t seeing things—Asher was unmistakably struggling. With a running start, he plunged into the water, his strokes fueled by an intense surge of adrenaline, but as he powered through the merciless water, the distance seemed to stretch endlessly before him, and waves kept breaking his line of sight. His muscles burned, salty water stung his eyes, and his breaths came in short, sharp gasps.
The realization dawned on him with chilling clarity—the gap between them was just too much. If he kept going, he could be in as much trouble as Asher, but turning back felt even worse. He needed help; a boat, a helicopter, something. Turning around, he battled his way back to the shore, emerging from the cold strangle of the water. Looking back out, he couldn’t even see Asher anymore.
Bolting down the beach, Ray flung himself across the rocks, charging past the beach chairs and towards the hotel, a looming structure against the skyline. Bursting onto the pool area, he found his parents where they were before, still lounging without a care.
“Mom! Mom! Dad!” Ray cried desperately, “Asher went out in the water, and he’s—he went—I don’t know what happened! Please! Come with me now! We have to do something!”
The urgency left no room for doubt or delay. Together, they sprang to their feet, and Ray hurried them down to the beach, running past concerned onlookers to the rocky passage.
“Hurry!” Ray urged as they struggled across the rocks.
“What were you two doing way over here?” his dad exclaimed, out of breath.
“It doesn’t matter! Just come!”
“We’re coming, Ray!” his mom called out, holding up her dress as she cautiously stepped over the rocks. “Just please be careful!”
Finally clearing the rocks, Ray paced the shoreline, scanning the water for any sign of Asher as his parents took their first careful steps onto the sand. When they finally reached Ray, they were greeted with chilling silence. The water was calm, with no sign of Asher amidst the waves.
His parents exchanged a long look of deep apprehension. “Ray, go back to the hotel room,” his dad commanded, shaking his head rapidly as he pressed the key card into Ray’s hand. “See if Asher made it back somehow.”
Ray gulped. With the key card clenched tightly, he rapidly retraced his steps back to the hotel. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest. The faint hope he had that Asher might have somehow returned to the room was easily overshadowed by the simple gnawing fear: what if he didn’t?
Ray burst into the lobby, skidding on the floor as he made a beeline for the elevators. A distorted reflection of his anxious figure stared back at him from the golden doors as he jabbed the elevator button. The wait was torture, every second seeming to dilate into eternity.
Enclosed inside the elevator, Ray felt utterly confined, with only the sound of his labored breathing to accompany him. He tapped his foot and drummed his fingers impatiently as the floor indicator ticked upward at a slow and taunting pace while his mind churned.
Ray burst out of the elevator the second the doors opened, his footsteps loud on the carpeted hallway, the doors passing in a blur as he raced to their room. He fumbled in his pocket for the key, his hands shaking as he swiped it, and braced himself for what he might find—or not. As the door creaked open, the only sound coming from inside was the eerie crooning of Bobby Darin.
It’s far beyond the stars ♪
It’s near beyond the moon ♪
Ray nudged the door wider, standing firmly in the doorway. “Asher?”
No reply.
He hesitated, then nudged the door further open. The remnants of their chess match lay set up on the floor near the window, the pieces frozen mid-game. On their shared bed, the stuffed snake Asher had won the previous night lay curled up.
Ray’s eyes fell onto the desk where Asher’s open sketchbook lay sprawled, and he walked over to it. His stomach felt sick when he saw the unfinished Agent Blackberry comic on the page. By Asher Marlow was etched in the corner, and Ray traced the lines of the text with his finger, his lip quivering as a tear rolled down his cheek.
Unable to bear the sight of it any longer, he drifted to the window. Through blurry vision he could see a flurry of activity down below at the pool as hotel staff swarmed towards the beach. He leaned his forehead against the cool glass, shut his eyes, and let out an anguished wail.
No more sailing ♪
So long sailing ♪
Bye bye sailing ♪
“It was the most horrible day of my entire life,” Ray said, his voice cracking as tears traced down his cheeks.
Jonah patted him on the shoulder as waves crashed against the shore in front of them. “What was he like?” he asked after a long moment.
Ray pulled away and wiped his eyes, then looked to the horizon. “Asher,” he began, swallowing, “was the one everyone wanted to be around. He was so awesome. He could talk for hours and people loved to just listen. It was kind of annoying sometimes because I was just the other one. The quiet one,” Ray said, closing his eyes tightly. “But when it was just us, it was different. Like we were… best friends. Usually.”
He turned to Jonah then paused, his throat tightening, and swallowed hard. “Then, suddenly, it was just me. I get what you mean; one day, he was just… gone. I had so many nightmares. Every time I went near water it felt like that day again… seeing him freaking out, trying to get him, and just… I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t!” He slammed his fist against the sand. “Why couldn’t it have been me?! What’s the point of me being here without him!”
Jonah placed a steadying hand on his shoulder. “Ray,” he said firmly. “Listen to me. You’re here because you’re strong. Because you matter. Remember the lake? You jumped in so fast to save me, no hesitation, with this behind you the whole time? You’re a hero, Ray. A hero. A real-life Mr. Strawberry Man.”
Ray looked down and sobbed, tears falling from his face into the sand. “I’m… I’m so sorry, Jonah,” he stammered. “We’re supposed to be here for your mom and I dumped all this on you and made it about me—”
“No, stop,” Jonah said, standing up and facing him. “Yeah, we’re here for my mom, but today isn’t just about her; it’s about us, too. We both lost our best friends and it sucks. But we’ve got each other. This… all this… sitting here, sharing this… this is what today is about. Being there for each other. You have no idea how great it is that you’re here today. It was a total bummer until you got here.”
Ray managed a weak smile. “Thanks, Jonah. You’re a good friend.” He looked up at the sky, where the wispy clouds tinged with gold from the sun drifted lazily. “Jonah… why do you think God did this to us?”
Jonah sighed as he sat back down beside Ray. “I don’t know, but there’s gotta be a reason for it. Maybe it’s to make us stronger. I don’t know.”
They sat in silence.
“Angela was an explorer,” Jonah’s dad began, sweeping his gaze across the crowd.
Perched on a piece of driftwood that whisked him back to the rustic log benches of summer camp, Ray felt a pang of nostalgia. Jonah sat silently next to him, lost in a sea of thought, barely registering his dad’s voice.
“She came to our world to witness the great skies, the mountains, the rainforests… the sea.” He paused to take a shuddering breath. “She loved this world, every corner of it. But most of all, she loved you, Jonah,” he said, looking across the crowd at his son.
Jonah looked up as everyone turned to him.
“You were her perfect partner. I admit, keeping pace with the two of you was nearly impossible, but the joy in witnessing your shared adventures filled me with a bittersweet envy,” he said, smiling, eliciting a few chuckles. “No, seriously. There wasn’t a mountain she wouldn’t climb with you. For you. You fulfilled her, and she fulfilled you. Truly, there was no summit too daunting.”
Ray reached over to pat Jonah’s shoulder and felt his body tremble.
“And even though she’s gone now,” his dad continued, “on a new adventure beyond the stars, we know she’ll always be here for us. Not literally, but we’ll know when we see it; in the wind, in the rain, in the waves. We’ll feel her, just as we always have.” Ray could feel the collective sorrow in the crowd of unknown faces, its weight as material as the heavy blanket of silence that fell upon them. Jonah’s dad lifted the urn from the pedestal. “Today, we’ll release her spirit back into the world she loved so much.”
Jonah rose from his seat and made his way to his father’s side, all eyes following him. Together, they walked to the water’s edge, everyone following in a slow, respectful march. Among the crowd, Ray found his parents and walked with them.
Jonah’s dad’s hand trembled as he sprinkled a handful of ashes into the wind. They danced in a fleeting ballet, swirling upwards before being caught by the ocean breeze, carried over the water, and becoming one with the endless sea.
Jonah hesitantly reached into the urn and closed his eyes, leaving his hand there momentarily. A single tear escaped and trickled down his cheek. With a deep breath, he withdrew his hand and opened it, letting the ashes slip through his fingers. They fluttered like silver butterflies, some carried away by the wind, others settling gently on the water.
As the last of the tears were shed and the crowd began to drift away, Ray approached Jonah, who stood alone with his gaze fixed on the ocean. “Hey,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I have something for you in the car.”
Jonah looked up with questioning eyes, and Ray led him to his parents' car, ushering him into the back seat. Closing the door, Ray reached into the seat pocket and pulled out his sketchbook. He flipped through the pages until he found it, and carefully tore the page out.
Jonah gasped as Ray handed it to him. He blinked a few times, his mouth agape, and turned to Ray. “Dude! This is incredible!” He held the page in one hand, studying it closely. “This is literally your best drawing yet! You’re so going to be an artist. Oh my God.”
Ray grinned shyly. “Thanks…”
Jonah took another look at the drawing and sighed. “Is it… is it supposed to be her?”
Ray nodded. “I drew this a few months ago, and for the longest time, I didn’t know who it was. But now I know.”
Jonah’s eyes welled with tears and he closed them, setting the drawing aside, and reached out to hug Ray. “We’ll be each other’s best friends,” he declared.
“Always,” Ray said softly.
Jonah wiped his eyes and sniffled. “Hang on, I’ve got something for you too,” he said, pushing open the car door. He quickly made his way to where his dad was talking with a few lingering guests. Ray watched, curiosity piqued, as Jonah spoke animatedly with his dad, gesturing back to Ray every so often. After a minute, Jonah jogged back, a smile breaking through his somber mood as he slid into the back seat. “So, uh… Waffle House?”
Ray’s eyes lit up. “Waffle House.”