Two seagulls hovered overhead in the clammy gray sky, basking in the humid coastal air and squawking as they flew over the new Marlow home. A tiny ladybug lounged on a cement wall but fled as soon as a determined Ray rushed past, clutching two wrinkly ten-dollar bills inside the pocket of his shorts. He squeezed them; they were his ticket to finally being able to relieve this aching pressure in his body. Well, ticket to the real ticket.

The end of the road was intersected by another road, and both directions lacked any sort of landmark that might have clued him in that he was headed the right way. He settled on a left turn, but it wasn’t long before he was presented with another split, and then another. Just as he was turning down a new street, a thundering bark sent him tumbling to the ground. A Great Dane towered over him from just behind a chain-link fence, snarling as it bore its teeth, its eyes flooding with ferocity. Ray scrambled to his feet and bolted down the road as the dog barked after him, running aimlessly until he came to a large tree in the middle of a random field, and leaned against it to take a breath. As several cars sped by him, he realized he was next to an intersection, and even better, just across the street from a little shopping center! He wiped the sweat from his forehead and smiled; the journey was turning out to be easier than he thought.

After pressing the button to cross, he waited for the little man to display before scurrying across the street, avoiding eye contact with any of the cars that he’d just forced to stop and wait for him. The shopping center was small, but Ray spotted a large building with a big red CVS logo that looked like it could be some sort of market, and a warm feeling bubbled through him as he realized how close he was getting to his goal.

The excitement brought an additional unwanted effect as Ray felt his penis swell inside the soft fabric of his underwear for the millionth time that day. He slowed his walk as the predicament grew larger, pushing against his shorts and creating an uncomfortable lump. His eyes trailed downward to check on it and started sweating when he confirmed the visible protrusion. When he looked back up, he saw a group of kids standing by the entrance, and panic shot through him. He debated reaching into his pockets to fix the problem, but that might look too obvious, so he darted behind a pillar to avoid being seen. Peeking over the side, he could see the kids—five teenagers from the sounds of their voices—conversing in a circle.

Ray collapsed against the wall; what a lame predicament he’d found himself in. These stupid random boners needed to stop; maybe he could ask Jonah about that, too. After several minutes of thinking about nothing but vegetables, his erection finally subsided, and he proceeded towards the store, with only one of the teenagers paying him any attention.

Ray focused straight ahead as he power-walked through the automatic sliding doors. As he stepped into the chilly, air-conditioned interior, he crossed his goosebump-covered arms and squinted as the bright white ceiling and walls overwhelmed his vision. Informative signs floated above each aisle, held up by string, and Ray proceeded to the one marked “Skin Care” where he was greeted by practically an entire shelf of lotion bottles.

Browsing the countless options, he realized he had no idea what kind of lotion he was looking for. What the heck was shea butter; wouldn’t rubbing butter on his skin be unhealthy? Was lotion for extra-dry skin what he wanted? He touched his arm, and well, it didn’t feel wet. A bright pink color caught his eye in the sea of white and beige bottles, and he picked it up to read the label. Cherry Blossom; that sounded pleasant, and the thought of cherries made his penis twitch. It was fourteen whole dollars, which didn’t leave much for food, but he could probably manage without that stuff.

Ray went to the opposite end of the store where there was a wall of refrigerated products, and opened one of the refrigerators, feeling the cold air against his arm as he reached in to grab a bottle of Pepsi. Over at the checkout, there were a lot of different candy bars and gums. Ray grabbed two M&M tubes and a couple of KitKats, the expanding mass of junk slowly filling up his arms.

He entered the checkout line behind one of the teenagers from earlier. The boy looked only a few years older than himself, tan with short blonde hair, a black, sleeveless hoodie that showed off nicely developed teenage arms, and board shorts. The kids here sure wore strange clothing.

The older boy peered tacitly at Ray over his shoulder and made an expression like he couldn’t quite put his finger on something before quickly turning back around. Ray looked down at the shopping basket he was holding, full of potato chips and something called Robitussin. He was embarrassed to not have taken a basket of his own, instead clumsily clutching his items to his chest with his arms.

Ray had just enough money to pay for his items, and took the plastic bag from the cashier, stuffing the change in his pocket and breathing a sigh of relief. As he stepped outside, a drizzle of rain sprinkled against his exposed skin, and he tightened his grip over the top of the plastic bag to keep any water from getting in. The blonde teenager and his friends were running over to their bikes, pushing up their kickstands and pedaling off. Ray waited for them to leave before heading back over to the intersection.

The sky crackled with thunder as he crossed the road, the drizzle picking up in intensity. He tried to cover his head with the plastic bag, but it was a wasted effort, and as the rain truly began to fall, he ran towards the tree in the middle of the open field. Leaning against the trunk, he caught his breath.

“Rahhh!” someone shouted.

Ray shrieked in surprise as a small figure leaped at him from behind the tree, knocking him over with his bag spilling its contents onto the grass.

“What the heck?!” Ray cried, wriggling away from his assailant. Looking up, he saw a horrified blonde kid a couple of years younger than himself staring at him.

“Crap! Sorry,” the boy said, wincing. “Uh, who’re you?”

Ray groaned, his butt sore from the fall, and began to gather his belongings. “Who am I? Who the heck are you? And why did you attack me?!”

“I thought you were one of my brother’s friends,” the boy explained as Ray got to his feet.

“Well, I’m not. I just moved here, and I don’t know anyone,” Ray said, observing the boy’s black, sleeveless hoodie, just like the teenager in the store, along with the same style of short blonde hair. “I might have run into your brother though.”

The boy perked up upon hearing that. “Did you talk to him? What did he say about me?”

“I didn’t, and nothing.”

“Dang it,” he said, kicking the grass with his slippers, then pointed at Ray’s plastic bag. “What’s all the stuff you have?”

“This?” Ray asked, lifting the bag, and the boy nodded. “Just some stuff I needed to get.”

“Looks like chocolate,” he said, with a lick of his lips.

“Okay, yeah, there’s some chocolate in here.”

“Can I have some?”

Ray debated keeping the snacks for himself, but the boy looked so sad with his pleading eyes and wrinkled nose. “Uh, I guess so.” He rifled through the bag, accompanied by a soft crinkling sound, handed a KitKat to the boy, taking one for himself, and sat down. Damp grass tickled his legs. The boy followed his lead and sat cross-legged across from him.

“Thanks! Terry doesn’t like me to have dessert before dinner.”

Ray frowned. “Is Terry your brother?”

“He’s my stepdad,” the boy said, tearing open the KitKat packaging and separating the two sticks.

“Uh-huh. And what’s your name?”

“Robby. I’m nine years old.”

Ray opened his KitKat and took a bite. It felt nice to have something sweet against his tongue as he chewed the chocolatey wafer. “I’m Ray.”

“Cool. Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

A large globule of collected rain fell and plopped against Ray’s forehead. “Aw!” he shouted as he swatted at it like it was a horrible insect, dropping his bag again. The small bottle of lotion rolled out onto the grass.

“What’s that?” Robby asked, staring at it.

“Nothing,” Ray insisted, shoving it back in the bag. Surely Robby didn’t know what it was for; after all, Ray didn’t either. Robby didn’t question him further, and Ray took another bite of KitKat.

“Why d’ya eat that all weird?”

“Huh? How’s it weird?”

“You bite the whole thing instead of breaking it apart like you’re s’posed to!”

“Why does that matter?” Ray said to him, starting to become annoyed. This kid barely knew him, and wanted to question his KitKat eating habits? “I don’t like breaking them apart, it’s better when it’s together,” he explained.

Robby burped. “Okay.”

Maybe Ray was overthinking it. He couldn’t help but grin as his annoyance diminished. The rain continued to pour down, so the two boys spent their time in shelter getting to know each other. Robby lived close by with his family, and Ray was surprised to learn he attended a mixed martial arts class several times a week. Plus, judging by his tanned skin and athletic figure, he probably spent a lot of time outside. He was a pretty cool kid, and Ray felt a little jealous.

When the rain finally let up, Robby ran out from under the tree into the field. “Wanna see something cool?” he called to Ray. Ray stood up and raised an eyebrow. “Come on!”

“Wait, Robby, I have to go back home! I, um, have something really important to do,” Ray said, gripping the bottle of lotion through the bag.

“Well, it can wait! It’s summerrr!” Robby shouted, running across the field with his hands in the air and disappearing into the trees. 

Ray looked back towards the street, then followed him into the dense woods. He lost track of him and stood still while he tried to locate him.

“Over here!” Robby called.

Ray followed his voice through the woods, the air lustrous with the afterglow of rain. It felt embarrassing being led around by a younger kid, but at least no one was around to see them. He wished Jonah lived nearby, he’d be much more comfortable exploring with someone his own age.

After nearly ten minutes of walking, they emerged from the trees into an open road. Across it, there was a gradual, muddy cliff that descended into even more endless trees, guarded by a metal railing. Robby waltzed down the empty road, balancing himself on the double yellow line that cut through the road. Ray scolded him for walking in the middle of the road, but the young boy wasn’t concerned.

“Doesn’t matter,” Robby said, eyes focused ahead of him, “nobody drives through here, like, ever.”

Ray followed him from the safety of the shoulder, checking behind him periodically for cars. The two walked along the quiet road until they reached a path that led down the cliffside and dipped into the forested depths. Without a word, Robby began descending the steep, winding dirt path, while Ray peered warily over the edge.

“I think I gotta go,” Ray said, turning back towards the road.

“Come on, Ray!” Robby shouted excitedly. 

“I don’t want to.”

“Are you scared?”

Ray bit his bottom lip. “No, I’m not,” he said, “I just have to get home.”

“You are! Don’t be a wuss, Mr. Tennis Shoes!”

Ray looked back, then down at Robby. “Fine,” he muttered, then carefully followed Robby down the cliff. 

After the initial drop, the path did become much more reasonable, before eventually bottoming out completely and winding into the tall trees. Ray asked Robby where they were going, but Robby was much more interested in talking about swimming, which Ray understandably had zero interest in. Robby was on a swim team outside of school and spent much of the summer in the pool. He even told Ray about his lucky speedo, which the two giggled about.

They were busy chatting when Ray heard a distant sound that made him freeze in his tracks. If he had to describe it, he would call it the white noise from hell. As he looked out into the distance, the sound confirmed his suspicion. It was there, out beyond the tunnel of trees, past the palms and fiery white sand: a deep blue expanse of unpredictable, ever-shifting ocean. His chest tightened, and his breathing became shaky and uneven. Robby noticed the interruption and turned around, confused.

“I can’t be here,” Ray sputtered. He turned and sprinted back the way he came, leaving Robby staring dumbfounded.

“Wait! Ray!” Robby shouted, but Ray couldn’t hear him.

Ray sprinted through the trees, nearly tripping over himself as he snaked past their bony branches. His heart was racing, legs pumping as he tried to escape the unfamiliar environment. Upon reaching the hill back to the road, he started climbing, but his hands were trembling, and it was difficult to keep a proper grip on anything. The sound of gnashing waves echoed in his ears, growing louder even as he tried to ignore it.

Back up to the road, he looked both directions, feeling dizzy and lightheaded. He tried recalling which direction led back towards his home, but it was hard for him to focus with all the thoughts racing through his mind. Overwhelmed by a deep feeling of dread and fear, he picked a random direction and hobbled that way. The dizziness was becoming worse, and as he stumbled down the road, he veered off to the shoulder and stopped, kneeling on his hands and knees, and vomited.

The world was still while Ray regained his composure. The soft breeze tickled his ears, and the birds chirped on, busy with their own little lives. Ray took out the bottle of Pepsi from his bag and had a sip, making a sour face as the bubbly liquid fizzled against his tongue and throat. Still, the sensation was overall pleasant, so he chugged some more before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He sat on the pavement for several minutes until he felt a little better and calmer, then went back to walking.

As he walked, he became increasingly angry with Robby and hoped he never had to see him again. It wasn’t even Robby’s fault, but he needed someone to take his anger out on.

Ash greeted Ray with a hearty meow from the kitchen counter as the boy slunk through the front door, slouched over with a blank expression, and slid against the wall to the floor. The journey home was long and scary, but he’d finally made it back. He listened for any sounds, but the house was silent except for the gentle rustle of the plastic bag.

Wait, the plastic bag!

He yanked out the bottle of lotion and spun it victoriously in his hand, a wild grin spreading over his face. His heart beat excitedly in his chest, the lingering anxiety from the ocean fading into the background. Finally, he had it: the key to epicness. He hopped to his feet and sprinted over to the phone, ripping it from the receiver and punching in the numbers from his sketchbook that still lay open on the counter.

As it rang, he tapped his fingers on the counter. Brrr, brrr, brrr. What was taking Jonah so long? He paced back and forth while it continued to ring, then headed down the hall to his bedroom. The sun had finally broken through the clouds and shone onto his bed, filling the room with its warmth. Maybe a little too much warmth. Holding the phone between his head and shoulder, he cracked open the window.

“Hi!” finally came Jonah’s voice.

“Jonah!” Ray squealed.

“You’ve reached Jonah,” Jonah’s recording continued, “and I’m not here right now. So, leave a message. Thanks!”

Ray’s smile vanished, and he climbed onto the bed, despondently clutching the phone. “Um, hey Jonah. So, I got the lotion now, but, um, what now? Please call me back as soon as you can. Um, okay, bye.”

He fell back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. Without Jonah’s advice, the lotion was useless to him. He took one of the tubes of M&Ms from the bag and dumped some into his mouth. As he crunched them, he decided to figure it out without Jonah’s help. A little experimentation couldn’t hurt, right? His smile crept its way back.

He grabbed the lotion and stepped inside the bathroom, placing the bottle beside the sink. His grinning face stared back at him through the bathroom mirror. He stripped down, making a messy pile on the tiled floor starting with his shirt that was soon joined by a pair of old tennis shoes, cargo shorts, socks, and finally, his thin, white briefs. Naked and proud, he climbed onto the countertop with his knees bent like a frog. His penis, a skin-colored elephant trunk, hung neatly in front of his mildly wrinkly sack. The mirror, which covered most of the wall, reflected every inch of his naked form. He watched as his little elephant trunk twitched once, then steadily pulsed upwards until it had grown into a curved and mighty ivory tusk. The bulging bright tip at the end was locked behind his tight foreskin, desperate for another dose of pleasure—he hoped this would work.

The back of the lotion bottle was devoid of any instructions for application to the penis, so he decided to improvise, administering two hefty pumps to his shaft, squeezing the length of it, and giggling at the funny squishy sound it made. For good measure, he rubbed some of the cream all over his balls, too. He squirted one final dollop onto the tip of his index finger and smeared it around his protruding glans, sucking in through his teeth from the intense sensation. He kept rubbing until it was nice and shiny and the pink cream had completely rubbed in. He smiled, and his erection throbbed back.

Ash interrupted him by meowing from the doorway, startling Ray and causing him to almost lose his balance. “Go away! Shoo!” he yelled, swatting with his hand, but Ash responded by sitting and licking himself.

Whatever, Ray thought. He looked up and saw his glossy genitals in the mirror. A thin, barely perceptible blue vein ran down the back of his shaft towards his balls, two little grape-sized nuts inside a droopy, slightly wrinkled bag. There was a lingering streak of lotion on them, and he rubbed it in with his thumb. Now he just had to wait for the good feelings to start. He tried remembering how it happened at the lake, but the whole experience was so out-of-body; it was as if he’d surrendered himself to Paris and left his unwilling mind out of it.

Grumbling, he decided to try messing with other parts of his body to see if it might help. He slid a finger into his innie belly button, just to the left of his birthmark, but that didn’t feel like anything. His little brown nipples felt ticklish, but not epic amazing. Why was this so complicated? He decided he’d have to put together a guide later.

Meow!

“Ash! Leave!” he shouted, raising his arms to scare the cat off, but began to feel self-conscious as the cat stayed and stared at him, naked and crouched on the countertop with his erection covered in cream. He stared back with his lotion-covered hands on his hips. “What the heck do you want from me?” he moaned, then gasped. “Oh crud, are you hungry? Oh, crud! I forgot to give you water!”

Ray washed his hands and rushed down the hall into the kitchen. If his parents knew he was prancing around with his sinful boner sticking out, they’d kill him, but while they were at work, he could do whatever he wanted. His skin tickled with excitement from the inappropriateness. Ash followed, unconcerned with his human’s nudity. He filled both of the cat bowls, one with water from the sink, and the other with food from the bag, though much less than he’d given Ash for breakfast.

“I don’t want you getting fat,” he explained. “Then we couldn’t play together.”

While Ash ate his late lunch, Ray walked out into the backyard. Though he was naked, the tall fence offered enough privacy. The grass felt prickly between his toes, and the sun felt incredible on his body; every part of him was tingly. He crouched, touching the grass with his hands, before falling onto his back, sprawling out like he was making a snow angel. Birds chirped from their roosts, and butterflies fluttered in the air. His erection, which had wilted while feeding the cat, sprung to life. If he was going to get the feeling, this was the perfect place for it to happen. This was awesome.

He looked down at his penis, whose red tip looked him rudely in the eye, and poked it with one finger before wrapping his fingers around it. The lotion made it feel soft and smooth, not that it couldn’t be described that way without it, but the lotion greatly enhanced those attributes. He sighed, placed his arms at his sides, and closed his eyes, at peace with nature, in his perfectly natural glory.

A minute had passed when suddenly, he felt something ticklish on the bottom of his penis. It’s happening! His eyes shot open, and there, crawling along his shaft, was a tiny ladybug. Disappointed but not wanting to scare it away, he groaned internally. The creature crawled up his shaft and along his foreskin, reaching the tip where it lingered for a moment before flying away. He shut his eyes and focused on getting the feeling again until the world went quiet.

Ray’s eyes flickered open as a distant, gravelly droning noise ripped him from his peaceful nap. The sun, whose warm rays felt quite pleasant earlier, now felt dry and stingy. He nervously checked his body for any signs of sunburn, lifting his arms but finding no alarming redness. Sniffling, he climbed to his feet, the grass tickling his buttcheeks as he stood. As he put a cupped hand to his ear to determine what the droning noise was, it stopped. Cautiously, he began walking toward the patio when he heard his dad’s voice come booming from the other side of the house. Oh, crud!

“That’s it? It’s all fixed?”

“Easy does it, Mr. Marlow,” came another man’s voice, deep and with a southern drawl to it. “This one don’t need much to stay afloat.”

Ray ducked behind the wall, placing his hands on the corner and listening. The droning sound started up again, which he determined to be the garage door opening and closing. He peeked through the glass door, judging whether he had enough time to get inside and to his room before the adults game in. Getting caught naked by the counselors was one thing, but if his dad suspected he was up to anything naughty, he could kiss the rest of his summer goodbye. As he readied himself to rush back inside, the door to the garage opened, and he bolted back behind the wall.

“I’m not sure if it’s broken, or I just can’t figure it out,” his dad said, walking inside.

“Let me have a look,” the man said.

Ray panicked and looked around for somewhere to hide, but the backyard was pretty barren without furniture. If either of the adults came outside, it was over. His eyes locked on a window, and he sidled over to it. Not only was it his bedroom, but it was cracked open from earlier. He let out a sigh of relief, then pried it open enough to fit through. Using the ledge that jutted out, he hoisted himself up, kicking his legs until he was high enough to fall through the window onto his bed, smashing his funny bone against the bed frame with a loud thud in the process. He groaned, gripping his elbow and doubling over as the pain shot through it. Ash stared at him in the doorway.

“Ray?” his dad called from the living room.

Ray’s eyes doubled in size, and he scanned for his clothes before spotting them in the bathroom across the hall. There was nowhere to hide, and his dad’s footsteps were approaching. He considered getting under the covers of his bed, but that would be too obvious, especially if his dad wanted his usual hug. Instead, he tiptoed as quickly and quietly as he could to the closet and slid open the door. Nothing. Should he hide in the closet? No, his dad definitely knew he was home. His head snapped to the cardboard boxes in the corner of the room.

“Mr. Marlow?”

The footsteps stopped, then changed directions. “Yes?”

Ray let out his held breath. Maybe God cared for him after all. He snuck over to the boxes and read the Sharpie-scrawled writing on the sides. R Bathroom, Posters, R Clothes—perfect. He removed the two boxes on top (boy was it heavy) to find that it was sealed shut with packing tape. Desperately, he scratched at it with his slightly-too-long fingernails until he was able to rip through it, and fetched two random garments from inside: a mustard yellow t-shirt, and an old pair of black sweatpants that surely weren’t even his, but would have to do. He’d just finished dressing when Ash ran off and his dad replaced him in the doorway. 

“Hey, bud!”

“Hi,” Ray replied, immediately shutting his mouth to silence his heavy breathing.

His dad marched over to Ray, his looming figure filling Ray with a mix of angst and security, and pulled him into a big, predictable hug.

“Oh, you smell nice,” he laughed, sniffing the air.

Ray flushed red and turned away. “Yeah, um, the soap at camp was, er, really… nice...”

“So, what the heck happened?” his dad asked, sitting down on the bed. “Mom said it was a big misunderstanding.”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Ray said, avoiding his father’s eyes while flexing his toes.

“Well, that’s not fair. I’ll give them a call. Maybe we can get you back in.”

“Maybe,” Ray replied unenthusiastically.

His dad frowned and stood up. “So, you liking the new house?”

“It’s okay.”

“There’s still a lot of decorating to do, but I think you’ll be happy with how it turns out once there’s furniture. We just got the garage door fixed, thank God,” he laughed. “You wouldn’t believe how hot the car gets in the sun. Oh, and I saw your housewarming gift walking around.”

“Huh? Oh. Right. I named him Ash.”

His dad opened his mouth to say something, then took off his glasses to rub his eyes. “Don’t you think we could come up with something… better?”

Ray shrugged. “I thought it was my gift.”

“Mr. Marlow?” the man's voice rang from the kitchen. “It’s good to go.”

His dad chuckled as he stood up. “On my way!” he shouted, causing Ray to flinch. 

“Who’s that?”

“That’s Mr. Bowles. Come meet him,” he suggested, walking out of the room. “He’s been very helpful to us.”

Ray wasn’t very interested in meeting another adult. They were usually boring and wanted to shake his hand or pat his head. He peeked down the hall and tiptoed into the bathroom, scooping up his discarded clothes and the bottle of lotion, and snuck back into his room where he tucked the evidence under the bed.

“Ray!” his dad called. “Come out here.”

Ray sighed and lumbered over to the living room, where he found the two men smirking at him. Mr. Bowles had a big, balding head with a short and scraggly beard, peppered throughout with white hairs. He wore a plaid button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up slightly, and a pair of jeans. When Ray stepped into the room, the man extended a hand to him, and they shook.

“You’ve got mighty soft hands, boy,” Mr. Bowles said.

Ray pulled away and rubbed his hands together, already annoyed with the man, but decided to be polite since his dad was watching. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

“Got two step boys close t’yer age. You three’d make good friends. They seem to know more about this town than I ever will,” he chuckled.

Ray nodded but was silently panicking as he felt his dick randomly start to stiffen. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, trying to covertly adjust things so it wouldn’t be noticeable. How did anyone put up with these stupid things?

“Mr. Bowles is a handyman,” Ray’s dad explained. “I saw a little ad of his on a fence the other day, and boy was I lucky spotting that, because this house has all kinds of problems,” he said, before nervously adding, “but of course, we’re getting everything all fixed up thanks to him. And thank God the garbage disposal is fixed,” he said, turning to Mr. Bowles, “because that could get disgusting real quick!”

Mr. Bowles laughed. Ray nodded robotically, bored out of his mind. Did adults seriously have nothing more interesting to talk about than garbage disposals?

“Not much of a conversationalist, huh?” Mr. Bowles said, nudging Ray on the shoulder. “You and my oldest would get along well,” he said and laughed. Ray thought his laugh sounded like a gunked-up garbage disposal.

“Why don’t you go hop in the shower, Ray?” his dad asked. “Mom’ll be home with dinner in a few.”

“I’m not hungry,” Ray replied.

“It wasn’t a suggestion,” his dad sang through a tense smile as he pushed Ray into the hallway.

“Is Cameron coming tomorrow?” Ray inquired over the hum of the microwave, dipping a greasy french fry into a little pool of ketchup on his plate.

His dad glared at his mom, who was blankly staring into the microwave. “Is that what you heard?” he asked, not taking his eyes off of her.

“Yeah,” Ray replied, slowly and cautiously.

“It came up because we don’t have anyone to look after him tomorrow,” his mom explained. “We can find someone else, but not before tomorrow.”

“I think we should chat about this later tonight,” he said to her through gritted teeth.

“But I haven’t seen him in so long!” Ray fussed. “How come we never get to see him anymore?”

His dad set his deflated, half-eaten fast-food burger down and turned his barstool to face Ray. He opened his mouth to talk, but hesitated for a moment before finally speaking. “Ray, let me explain something to you about people. When a person gives in to the temptations of the devil, the corruption can spread to those around them like a virus. You must stay away from these people. And that goes for you, too,” he avowed, pointing at his wife.

Ray hated when his dad got like this, and even though he knew his dad would never listen to logic, he would always try to reason with him. “But Cameron didn’t seem devil-y at the funeral. He was really nice to us.”

“That’s the Devil’s game, Ray. Looks are deceiving. You can’t trust anyone because the Devil may be lurking inside them.”

“I can’t trust anyone?” Ray repeated, blinking. That didn’t sound logical. Or healthy.

“If you’d just come back to church with us,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose, “you could learn to recognize who is safe to trust.”

“But what if the priests are actually the devils? You said ‘looks are deceiving’, so wouldn’t that mean—”

“Enough, Ray,” his dad snapped.

The room descended into silence until the microwave beeped. Ray’s mom brought over a steaming burger and gently set it on Ray’s plate. “You sure you don’t want to just try coming with us to mass on Sunday?” she asked. “The church here is magnificent, I think you’d love it if you gave it a chance.”

“That’s okay,” Ray replied, lifting the top bun of his burger to check for any foul onions, and finding none.

“It’s a really nice building,” his dad added. “Much better than that old place in Abbotsford, with that funny smell.”

They always did this. “I don’t want to go,” Ray said firmly, hoping that would make his parents shut up about it.

Instead, his dad scoffed. “You know, Cameron also stopped going to church when we were teenagers, and I’m certain that’s why he turned out this way. In fact, you know what, it’s a bad idea to have him around, he’ll be a bad influence on you.”

“That’s not fair!” Ray fired back. “He and I stopped going for totally different reasons!”

“And what are your reasons, Ray? Hm?” he said, shooting a look at Ray, who looked down at his burger. “I thought so. You must know forgiveness. Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses,” he recited.

“Maybe you should listen to your own advice,” Ray mumbled, still focused on his food.

“Excuse me?”

Ray’s ears were assaulted by the sound of a bar stool grinding against the floor.

“That’s it, no more God damned dinner for you!” his dad shouted, ripping Ray’s plate away.

“Jer…” his mom began.

“Whatever, I wasn’t even hungry anyway!” Ray shouted and hopped down from his stool, storming off to his room.

Ray emptied the last of the M&Ms into his mouth and reached over to tuck the empty plastic tube beneath the bed. It was dark in his room beside the moonlight shining through the window, which barely illuminated his sketchpad on the bed, but his eyes had adjusted to the dimness. In the corner by the closed door, Ash sat licking himself as usual. Ray was jealous that the cat could be completely oblivious to the argument in the next room over that bled through the thin walls, dampened by the light drizzle against the window, but not nearly enough.

Ray’s tongue poked out from his lips as he carefully aligned a transparent ruler across his sketchpad. At the top of the page was the epically rendered title, “How To Get The Feeling”. Although he was missing some of the steps, he still wanted to make sure to record it all properly in case he forgot later. Carefully, he drew a straight line across the page with the help of the ruler, and then several more, and then divided them into six separate sections with a little help from his rubbery gray rectangle eraser.

As he filled in the first few steps, he realized that some of the drawings would require a proper, anatomically-correct reference, so pulled down the front of his sweatpants. Though he was sad to have lost his yang pajamas at camp, he considered that maybe he was old enough to stop wearing pajamas to bed, and tugged the pants the rest of the way down.

He sketched his flaccid state on the paper, which was arousing enough to enable him to also sketch his erect state. After filling in as many of the instructions as he could, he closed the sketchbook and set it on the floor. The rest would have to wait until Jonah got back to him. Speaking of Jonah, why the heck hadn’t he called Ray back? It was already way past bedtime. He flopped down on his back and groaned, his erection begging for attention that he didn’t know how to give.

“Just don’t bring his name up,” Ray heard his dad say through the wall. “And please, feel free to help and not just leave me to convince him myself. He needs this. It’s important to a boy.”

“What am I supposed to do?” his mom replied. “He doesn’t want to, he never responds to us, and you know why.”

“It’s no excuse. God does what He does because He loves us, and while we might not be able to understand what He does, it’s always for the best.”

Ray covered his head with a pillow to drown out the noise, but even though it further muffled their voices, he could still hear them. Ash hopped onto the bed, and came over to his side, rubbing against his bare thigh and purring.

“At least you’ve always liked me,” he said to the cat, petting him. “And I’ve always liked you...”

“I don’t want Cameron staying here alone with him,” his dad continued. “Who knows what filth he could put in his head.”

“I don’t know why you think Cameron is going to harm Ray, he’s never shown himself to be anything like that. Just because you two disagree doesn’t make him a bad person. And anyways, Ray deserves to have a relationship with him, even if you two don’t. You remember how they got along at the funeral. He was the one who got Ray to smile.”

There was a long pause after that, and Ray removed the pillow from his face. Ash climbed on top of his chest, his purring having a soothing effect.

“We can’t afford anyone else right now, not after a move like this,” his mother continued.

“I just don’t know what the right thing to do is anymore.”

Ray sat up and removed Ash from his chest, setting him on the bed, then crawled over to the window. There was a black dot in the middle of the window, and Ray put his head closer to it so he could see. It was a ladybug. Was it the same one from before?

He tapped the glass, but the insect did not budge, so he opened the window and it flew off. Tears welled in his eyes as they followed it into the night sky, where a clearing in the clouds revealed numerous stars. Squinting, he was able to make out the little dipper, but the big dipper was hidden away in the clouds. He leaned his head out the window and sobbed quietly into the softness of the falling rain.