I follow Sarah with my eyes as she's driving away in the taxi I called for her. Not exactly how I imagined my evening. It's completely dark now and I'm standing in the middle of the street, trying to wrap my head around it all. The yellowish, dim light coming from street lamps is at least somewhat cosy. This is a peaceful neighbourhood and apart from the car engine and a dog barking in the distance, it's almost completely silent.
Despite all that, I never hear any footsteps approaching and only notice Dex when he stands next to me. We look at each other briefly and then we continue staring down the street until the taxi takes a turn left and disappears.
"Do you feel bad?" The boy asks me.
It takes me a while to process the question and even longer to prepare an honest answer.
"I don't think so. I feel empty," I say slowly.
"Do you want to be alone?" He asks shyly. "No, stay, please." "Okay," Dex says with relief. "Do you wanna take a walk?" I ask. He does so we turn back and walk. Instinctively, I go towards the spot by the river I used to go to with Torry. For a while, we walk in silence and then Dexter speaks: "I didn't know what was going on, Kevin, I swear. I mean, I knew what you knew, that's all. If I knew..." "Dex," I interrupt him. "I believe you. Let's talk about it some other time. I want to have a nice evening." "Uh, okay," he says and we continue walking in silence. I didn't lie. All I want now is to have back the nice evening that's been stolen from me. If I let it all get to my head, the terrorists win. And you may be thinking that I’m fooling myself and Dex isn't Sarah. Then I say to you: thank god he's not. Even if right now he doesn't seem very comfortable walking with me, unsure of my motives. But for once my motives are pure and innocent. For the most part. We reach the spot by the river I told you about earlier. It's not very secluded. It's just a few meters away from a walking path. But it's secluded enough and at this evening hour, there is no living soul around. I sit down and pat the ground right next to me and nod at Dex to sit down. He seems nervous. Maybe he thinks I'm mad at him. Hard to say. He sits down nevertheless with his knees bent up and his arms folded around them. I look at him as he rocks back and forth slightly. Maybe he's just nervous because he's outside his cave for too long. Or maybe it's something else. What's more amazing is how my tiny soft spot I've had for him slowly fills my entire, previously cold and numb body. Only now that all the anger I had inside me is gone, I realise its grip it had on my throat and how great it feels now that it's gone. And as I look at Dex, for the first time I realise that the distances between his hairline, his eyes, his nose, his mouth and his chin are in perfect proportions. It's unbelievable that I never noticed it until now. It's like he had undergone a complete plastic surgery still inside the womb. He’s perfect. "What?" Dexter chuckles nervously. "Nothing," I lie. "Then why are you looking at me like that?" he asks softly. "I've never had enough confidence to look at you properly," I say truthfully. "So… before you were looking at me improperly? "You could say that," I say. "It feels like I've always been looking at a space next to your ear instead straight at you." "Uh, okay. It's not how you look at people." "Preach it, boy. It was like if I was afraid I might truly notice you. Truly see you," I say slowly. "You talk weird, Kevin. Should I be worried?" "You know what I realised today? Love is so underrated. People are so afraid they won't ever experience it that they're ready to see it everywhere. Only not where it really is." "Now I'm really worried, Kevin. Can you talk normally?" "Take my hand, Dex," I reach out to him. He grabs it but there's still fear in his eyes. He’s thinking I've gone insane. Maybe he's right. "Listen Kev…" Dex says, "whatever you do, don't do it just to make me feel better, okay?" I feel his hand tremble and I squeeze it softly. "There's a guy in my class, Dean," I say. "Sometimes when a class is boring, I look at his lips. He has full, pink lips. Like a girl. His lower lip bends down a little and he always keeps his mouth slightly ajar. He has large front teeth and sort of looks like a squirrel. But I like looking at him. Imagine that I kiss him." I start shaking. "Kev?" Dexter turns to me and gives me a worried look. "I never told anyone about it," I exhale with relief. Dexter opens his mouth to say something but he doesn't. Instead, he pushes me softly on my back like he did the other day on the bed. Then he cuddles into me and puts his head on my chest. "This feels nice," I say and start playing with his short hair. "This is nice," he agrees. "Dex?" I whisper. "Kev? "Dexy Dex," I touch his nose. "Kev Kev," he whispers. "Dekssss…" "Kevin." "Dexter." "Devin," he says and laughs. I push the boy off of me and I lower myself on him as he lays there on the grass. "Maybe," I say. "Maybe what?" he raises his eyebrows. "Devin," I say and look at him with confidence. It's dark in here but I can see in his eyes that he's finally relaxed. I also see the same thing I saw after we gave ourselves our first orgasms in his room. His eyes are flirting with me in the most mesmerising of ways. Back then on his bed that scared me shitless. Now I am ready and I give him the look. His mouth opens and his eyes smile. I kiss him and every cell in my body is on board. My dick begs to be released and I feel that the boy is hard, too. I do it as gently as I can. We have all the time in the world. And it's so much better than the last time. I can finally kiss someone with my entire Kevness. I embrace everything that I used to be afraid of and my soul grows. I'd been a terrible person, I realise. I'd been angry and selfish. Now, this wonderful, small creature teaches me how to love. Then something licks my left cheek and it's not Dex. I turn my head. It's a dog. I don't know shit about dog breeds but it's big, white and fluffy. And its tongue is hanging low as the dog pants, looking happily at me. "Don't mind Fiona here, guys," I hear the male voice coming from the road, "she hates it when people cuddle without her." I look up but it's too dark to recognize the owner of the voice. Dexter puts his hand on my chest and I release him. We both sit up and pet the friendly dog. "I wish I could tell you she only trusts people who are truly in love," the man says, "but the truth is, she's not picky at all. At least she doesn't dislike you.' Fiona lets us pet her and then rolls on her back so we can pet her belly. After a minute or so, the man whistles and Fiona runs back to him. They move on. Dex smiles at me and I give him a soft kiss. "You sure of that, Kev?" Dex grabs my hand, "because if you turn straight again in the morning, you will break my heart." "I've been sure for a long time now. But I was suppressing it. We kiss again. "It's getting late," Dex says. "Yeah, let's go back." But before we go back, we just stand there for a while and cuddle. I can't believe how long I was denying myself his small frame. I wouldn't say we live in the most accepting community but we're holding our hands on our way back. We only pass a jogger who pays us little attention. "Wanna sleep with me tonight?" I ask when we're back on our street. "My parents aren't home." "Yes, Kev." "You wanna ask your parents?" "Yeah… let me check with them and grab some stuff. I was supposed to have a sleepover tonight anyway, so it shouldn’t be a problem." A few minutes later, he’s back and in no time we are in my room. It's already past eleven so my dad could be home soon. The bed is still unmade after my short session with Sarah. "What do you feel like doing?" I ask Dex. "Cuddle and talk." "Cool, me too." We take our turns in the bathroom. I'm wearing my boxer briefs and a blue t-shirt. Dexter comes out bare-chested and his hair a little wet. He's wearing dark red briefs. They fit him perfectly. We've seen each other in less than that but I still feel self-conscious and Dex doesn't seem too confident either. I hesitate and remove my t-shirt, too, so that he doesn't feel underdressed. I turn off the main light and switch on the night lamp. I play a Spotify playlist on my phone and turn up the volume of the Bluetooth speakers on my desk. We go under the covers and cuddle. It's almost too cosy. "So, are you having a nice evening?" Dexter asks. "Yes, thanks to you." "Me too, Kev… it's so good. But I still don't get it." "Don't get what?" I ask. "Please tell me Torry didn't turn you gay because I asked him to make you like me." "Dexy Dex… there are no powers. I've always liked both boys and girls but I was in a denial. Like that Dean guy from my class with beautiful lips. But he wasn't the only one. It took me to force myself into a fake relationship to see what I really wanted." "So what do you really want?" "Now? I want only you, I swear, Dex. It felt so great every time I saw you but I was hiding my real feelings. But I'm no longer scared. Damn, I was so scared and angry, Dex. But not anymore." "I want you too, Kev." We're both tired of talking and we silently agree to kiss for a little. All this kissing makes me pretty hot and bothered so I start slowly grinding my erection against his. After a few minutes, we go from grinding to humping. We go like that forever, virtually edging ourselves and always kissing. Sometimes we stop altogether and talk for a while about how great it feels before going back to it. It's well past midnight when I hear my dad enter the house. I place my index finger on the boy's mouth to hush him. The little rascal takes it into his mouth and suckles it like a lollypop, looking me right in the eyes. It doesn't make it easy for me to focus on the noise my dad makes. Thankfully, it sounds like he chooses his default route right into his bedroom. Probably without taking off anything else than his shoes. As I told you, my dad can drink gallons of beer without any noticeable effect on him. But once he reaches the threshold, he's known to stand up without a word and go straight to his bed. It doesn’t matter if it means going across the room or across the town to get to it. Then he collapses as he stands and passes out. This seems to be the case today because after less than a minute I can only hear the sound of Dexter going down on my finger. "Give it back, you dummy," I pretend to be angry as I pull it away with a pop. A wide grin, just for me. I reach down under the covers and touch the boy’s hardness through his briefs. I stroke it for a few seconds and proceed to get him naked. It's not so easy but luckily he cooperates and a moment later he kicks the underwear on the floor. Then he helps me get out of mine. Then we go back to the humping but this time with our hot hard dicks rubbing against each other without obstacles. This quickly brings me near the edge, so I decide to stop and check how things are under the covers. As I dive, I hear Dexter chuckle but he politely stays where he is. It smells down there. Two young dicks going for it for almost an hour… believe me. I search for the epicenter of the smell and first my hand and then my mouth finds Dex's shaft. I've been missing it so much I just swallow it all. It fits perfectly. I hear Dex exhale through his nostrils when I grab his balls and eagerly suck his cock. It's so dark in here that I lose track of time. I think not less than ten minutes pass when Dexter pats me on my head. "Enough, Kev, it's my turn." We switch places and Dex dives under the covers to pleasure me with his mouth. I've fully regenerated from my last orgasm which feels like it happened a week ago. And damn, Dex gives it all he's got. I watch his shape go up and down and feel his wet mouth around my dick. But I already decided how I want to cum. "Dex, come up here, quick," I command when I feel like I'm close. As soon as he emerges, I kiss him on the lips and reach down to stroke his young cock. I feel the taste of my precum in his mouth and Dex shortly returns the favour. We kiss passionately and jack off each other furiously. I was already close after his blowjob and I cum first. I moan into the boy's mouth and cover his hand and his dick in my sperm. Dex isn't far behind though and in less than half a minute he does the same and I feel his warm fluid land on my groin area. And we never break the kiss until long after our orgasms subside. I reluctantly break away from my boy's mouth and uncover us. "We made quite a mess," Dexter laughs as he mashes our sticky, softening dicks together. "I can clean up our mess every day," I say as I reach for the old t-shirt, the same that I used to clean myself earlier. "In fact, I hope I will get to." "You will if I have something to say about this," Dex winks at me as I make sure his balls are dry. We decide we're tired, so we cuddle and try to sleep. But I can't. I'm still aroused and quickly get hard again. And almost an hour later I sense that Dexter is awake, too. "You can't sleep?" I ask. "Yeah. You?" "Me neither. I can't believe that you're here with me." "But I am, he smiles at me and touches my nose." "I know, Dex." The last time I check it's almost 4 am. I don't remember anything else. Shortly after we finally drift off to sleep.And please donate to Nifty if you can afford it!