The following is a work of fiction: Any resemblance to persons living or deceased is purely coincidental. It depicts sexual situations between males of various ages and, may include incest as well. if reading such is illegal where you reside or you are not at least 18 years of age, please read at your own risk. This work is the property of the author Kewl Dad and should not be reposted or reproduced without his permission.

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Tween to Teen
(sequel to My 11th Summer)
By: Kewl Dad


Chapter Eighteen
   A new start




 

 Johnny and I went back to the way things were before the talk, we seldom spoke and avoided each other when possible. One good thing though he wasn't sitting at the jerks table anymore and now sat alone most of the time unless the cafeteria was crowded in which case he's share a table with strangers. 

I continued to sit with my old group, Donnie, Walter and Gerald and a few others but the mood was somber most of the time since my friends sometimes didn't know what to say to me. Donnie had tried again to make me see the light and we'd gotten into a physical fight, though it was mostly pushing and a lot of angry words, and since then he'd been giving me the cold shoulder. 

I picked at my lunch most days and then went outside to get some fresh air and think my thoughts. Some days Ben would wander down and we'd talk and we'd begun to form a sort of lose friendship. With Ben I didn't feel the sexual tension that I did with my other friends and I supposed part of that was because he was younger and probably not interested in those things yet, which was fine with me.

I knew that me and my friends entering puberty so early was a rare thing and that most boys didn't do that till they were older, sometimes even 13 or 14. But twelve was pretty average I guess, and soon he's be turning 13, so I figured  Ben would start down that rocky road that makes a boy crazy soon  enough.

Meanwhile we talked about baseball and movies and model cars and school and I found that in his company I could forget some of the turmoil that was going on in my life. Since Bruce had been expelled things had eased up on the 7th graders and they came and went as they pleased, even if some of the older boys didn't like the invasion.

Gerald had become almost a stranger to me since Johnny and I had broken up, but not because of that. He had found a friend who lived close to him to hang out with and they were thick as thieves, as my granny used to say. His name was Todd and he was tall and red haired with freckles and the greenest eyes I'd ever seen, much greener than mine, and so skinny he looked sick.

He seemed like a nice enough guy, but Gerald never suggested the three of us hang out, and I didn't ask, so these days I was pretty much a loner. I guess Johnny was too and neither of us was smart enough to figure out what the solution to that problem was.

March 29th I turned 14 and mom and dad had a small party for me. I invited the usual bunch, Donnie and Walter, Gerald and Todd, Larry Kating, and a couple of girls from school. I was torn about whether to invite Johnny or not, but fortunately I didn't have to make that decision, my folks did it for me.

I guess they thought it might me a good way to help us patch things up, or maybe they just couldn't imagine me having a birthday without him there. After all he'd been there every year since we'd met and it only seemed natural. 

I actually didn't mind. It wasn't like I hated him or didn't want to see him or talk to him. I was just still hurting from our breakup and didn't go out of my way to see him. I was relieved they didn't invite Evelyn or Chrissy though, I'm not sure I could have kept my cool around those two scheming females.

My birthday actually fell on a Wednesday that year so the party was that Friday, the 31st. While I was at school Mom had hung streamers and balloons in the dining room and dad took off work a little early to be there. The party was at 5 and everyone was there on time except for Johnny who still hadn't showed up by 4:50.

I wondered if he was going to show when suddenly there was a knock on the door and there he was with a brightly wrapped gift in his hands.

"Hi, I brought your gift," he said standing on the doorstep and making no move to come inside, "I just thought I'd bring it by, but I probably shouldn't stay."

"What? Don't be silly. Come on in, everyone is expecting you. We're just getting ready to start."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, come on," I said opening the door wide and stepping aside to make room for him to enter.

Everyone greeted him warmly as he entered and I guess he didn't feel so out of place after a while. I'd been 14 for two days already, but I really didn't feel that much different. I still enjoyed the party games and being with my friends and was as excited as ever when it came time to open presents.

Mom and dad had got me a record player and radio combo that was really neat and gave me some cash to buy some records with since they didn't know what kind to buy. Donnie must've talked to my folks about what they were getting me cause' he bought me a Beatles album called Rubber Soul.

While I opened the rest of the presents dad set up the record player and put the album on and we listened to it and sang along. I don't think my folks were that crazy about the music, but this was my day and they put up with it with smiles on their faces.

I opened Johnny's gift last and it was a B-29 Super Fortress model kit. Though I usually didn't go in for airplanes I had to admit this one was really neat and I made a big deal of it and thanked Johnny warmly. He blushed and muttered "You're welcome", then just sort of faded into the background.

Next came the birthday cake which mom had bought at Hesler's bakery. It was a big chocolate sheet cake with blue and yellow frosting and said Happy 14th Birthday Robert. There were 14 candles and I managed to blow all of them out in one try and everyone clapped and sang happy birthday.

Mom served the cake with Neapolitan ice cream and we ate till we were stuffed. Around 6:15 the party was winding down and Larry picked Donnie and Walter up and Gerald caught a ride with them. Larry Kating had rode his bike and the two girls we'd invited were picked up by one of their moms.

That left just Johnny and me and he looked like he was starting to panic a little. I thanked him again for the model and asked if he'd like to come to my room so we could open it and check it out. I could see he was torn between following me to my room and running away, but eventually he gave in and we headed off to my room.

"Thanks for coming," I said once we were in my room and for the model, "When I finish it I'll hang it over my bed."

"Awww...you're welcome. I wasn't sure if you'd want me to come, but your folks asked and I thought I should at least show up."

"Of course I wanted you to come. Look, I know we don't hang out or anything anymore, but it doesn't mean I don't like you or want to see you."

"Then why do you avoid me all the time?" he said sounding hurt.

I had to think about that for a minute, and the whole time his eyes were boring into me making me very uncomfortable.

"Did you ever think that maybe I avoid you because it hurts when I see you? That just thinking about you makes my gut ache and knowing that we're not together is eating me alive? Did you ever think of that?" I said near tears.

"We could be together if you weren't so stubborn," he said sounding annoyed.

"Because I can't do it your way?"

"I don't know what else to do to convince you that I love you," he said sighing.

"Say you'll love me forever, that's what. And not that you're just here till something better comes along."

"I can't promise you that. All I can do is tell you how I feel right now."

"Let's not fight, okay," I said sitting down on my bed.

He hesitated a moment then sat beside me, but neither of us spoke for a while. The looking at me with a sad smile he said, "Happy Birthday."

"Yours is next month. Then we'll both be 14," I said staring at the wall, "Are you gonna have a party?"

"I don't know, maybe. My folks aren't like yours. It might be just a family thing."

"I used to be family," I said sadly.

"You still are as far as I'm concerned," he said looking at me with wet eyes, "I want you there...if we do have a party. Will you come?"

"You know I will. Some things are still the same. I still care about you."

"I should go. It's getting late."

"It's not that late," I said reluctant to let him go now that I had him in front of me.

"Last year...on your birthday I spent the night," Johnny said wistfully.

"And every birthday that I can remember since we were 8 or 9," I sighed.

"Yeah, seems like a long time ago though. Does it seem that way to you?"

"Sometimes."

"Well...I'm gonna go now. Thanks for inviting me and for the cake and ice cream."

"Well...if you're sure. I'll walk you to the street," I said giving up at last. Part of me wanted to beg him to stay the night, but I knew that would be awkward and probably not end well.

Somewhere between my room and the living room I'd decided I wanted to walk Johnny home and as we passed through I told my folks so. Johnny looked surprised, but didn't object and all mom said was take a jacket, which I did.

As soon as were outside Johnny started to protest, "You don't have to walk me home if you don't want to."

"I want to. It will give us a chance to talk some more."

"But nothing will change, will it?"

"Maybe not, but I just want to be with you a little while longer. Is that okay," I said feeling near tears.

"Yeah, I want that too," he said softly. Then taking a deep breath he said, "14. Do you feel older now?"

"No, not really. I still feel the same inside, but I have noticed that the 7th graders look smaller to me," I laughed.

"Yeah, wasn't so long ago we were 7th graders and now...next year we'll be Freshmen, we'll have a name."

"Yeah, then only three more years to go. Ever wonder what you'll do when we finish high school?"

"Naw, not really, maybe join the Air Force or something."

"My folks want me to go to college, but I don't know what I want to be...if I did."

"You're smart, you should go to college and learn something that pays a lot of money."

"I could be a doctor," I joked, "maybe a man doctor since I know all the parts so well."

He laughed, he actually laughed, "A dick doctor maybe."

"Yeah, probably get tired of seeing them though. Maybe I'll be a lawyer or something."

"Or a writer," he said thoughtfully, "You like reading so much, maybe you should try to write some stuff."

"Actually...I have," I said blushing.

"You have?"

"Yeah, it's not very good, but I've written some stories about boys having adventures and stuff. Some of it sort of like some of the stuff we've done."

"The sex stuff too?" he chuckled.

"No, of course not, just the regular stuff."

"You should let me read it sometime."

"It's not that good."

"I doubt that, it's probably really good and you're just modest."

We passed by Larry's house and headed on up the sidewalk talking away and at the end of the block we turned down Mayes street, the street Evelyn lived on. I got the willies just walking past her house but Johnny didn't seem bothered by it, and didn't even look that way.

As we turned down his street  I thought about the hundreds of times I'd made this trip and how familiar it all seemed. His house was one of the nicer ones on his block, but it was a rental and they had lived there as long as I'd known them. I think Johnny's dad did a lot of upkeep on the house himself, because the landlord, Mr. Baker, was sort of a slum lord and didn't like to put any money into his properties.

We were almost there and I felt like there was so much more for us to say, but the words wouldn't come and we were running out of time. We were two houses away when Johnny suddenly stopped in the middle of the street and grabbed my arm gently.

"Wait," he said looking thoughtful, "I want to say something."

"Okay," I said softly.

"I know you won't do things my way, but I have to ask you this...are you going to find someone else...to replace me?"

"No. I mean I'm not going to go looking if that's what you think. I don't think I can ever find anyone to love me that way again or someone that I love that much. It's just not possible. I mean we knew each other forever before it happened with us, so there's no way it could happen again...at least not for a long time."

"I'm not looking either," he said sounding relieved, "and I'm never gonna give up on you."

"I hope you mean that, cause I think I feel the same way too."

"I do mean it," he said sighing, "You should get on home now. Leave me here, okay...I don't think I'm going home yet."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know...but not home. I'll probably just walk around for a while."

"I could walk with you..."

"Naw, I need to think about things, not talk. Besides it's your birthday. Go home and enjoy your gifts and be with your family."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, good night and Happy Birthday."

"Thanks, good night. See ya' around."

"Yeah, round like a donut," he said smiling sadly.

I watched him walk away and at the corner he turned down by the elementary school where we'd met so long ago and disappeared from sight. I walked back home in a funk, wondering what I could have done or said to make things right, but in the end I decided nothing had really changed.

When I got home I watched TV with my folks and played with Mikey then took a quick shower and went to bed. I listened to my new record with the volume down low that night and thought about what Johnny had said about not giving up on me and wondered if eventually he'd give in and do things my way. I just hoped that things would work out before it was too late for us.

~~~~~~~~~~0~~~~~~~~~~

Johnny's Birthday was April 15th and as predicted his folks didn't do much for him. I felt obligated to get him a gift since he'd gotten me one,  so I rode my bike to his house that day to give it to him. It was Saturday and the air was fresh and clean, the shone shone brightly and it was in the upper 50's. 

As I neared his house I could see a strange car in their driveway and thought about passing on by, but I really wanted him to have his gift so I kept on going. By the time I reached his house he was on the front step. I don't know if he was watching out the window or just had a sixth sense telling him when I was near, but there he was smiling and looking happy.

"Happy Birthday," I said as parked my bike, and welcome to the wonderful world of being 14."

"Thanks, there's cake and ice cream inside but we didn't really have a party. My grandpa and grandma came though and gave me 20 bucks for my  birthday."

"Neat, well...I didn't bring any money," I teased, "but I didn't forget you," I said handing the gift I'd so carefully wrapped just an hour or so before.

"Wow, it looks heavy, what is it?"

"Open it and see," I said grinning. I'd used almost all the rest of my Christmas money for Johnny's gift and I hoped he liked it as much as I thought he would.

He took the gift and sat down on the front porch and began to gently unwrap it, but I was anxious for him to get it open.

"Don't worry about the paper. Just rip it open," I said impatiently.

"Okay, okay," he laughed, as he began ripping the paper violently. When he saw the box he began to rip faster and then he looked at me with his mouth wide open, "Is it really...awww...you just wrapped it in this box, didn't you?"

"No silly, it's really that radio you been looking at at Radio Shack every time we go in there, with all the different bands including police and fire."

"Oh man, this is so neat. Now I can listen to the cops and see what they're up to. Plus I can listen to music when I go to sleep at night."

"It has earphones too, so you won't disturb your folks. It uses D batteries or plugs in. I even got you some batteries, but I forgot them at home. Maybe you can come by and get them later."

"Wait, I gotta go show my folks then we can ride down to your house and get them, okay?"

He was gone a few minutes and when he came back he was carrying to bowls with cake and ice cream in them, "Mom said I should give you some cake and ice cream first, and well...I thought I'd have some more too," he laughed, "but your piece is the biggest one."

"Wow, thanks," I said sitting down next to him as we ate our cake and ice cream.

"What else did you get?"

"My dad got me some binoculars and my mom got me a new pocket knife to replace the one I lost."

"Neat, perfect for camping," I said before I thought about it.

"Uh...yeah, if I ever get to go again," he said studying me closely.

"Yeah, well...I'm sure you will...someday."

"Yeah, so...are you guys gonna go...camping I mean, this year?"

"I don't know, that's a long time off."

"Yeah, maybe things will be better by then."

We finished our cake and ice cream and Johnny carried the bowls back inside and told his folks we were going. Johnny grabbed his bike and grabbed his new radio by the handle. He's taken it out of the box and left the box inside so it would be easier to carry. Then riding one handed he followed me to my house as he held his precious new gift against his chest.

Mom and dad and Mikey were glad to see Johnny and visited with him a minute before we went off to the bedroom to grab the batteries. I suggested we go outside and try it out so we wouldn't disturb my folks so after he put the batteries in we headed out the back door.

"Let's go up in the treehouse," Johnny suggested, the reception should be better up there.

The radio had a pull out antennae and from the treehouse he could easily pull in the Tulsa stations, but it wasn't music Johnny was interested in. Turning the dial he kept trying till he found a police broadcast, but it was sort of boring. The cop was just radioing in to say that he was taking a break. After a while Johnny gave up and put on some music and we just sat there and listened to the radio for a while.

Suddenly one of favorite songs, Cherish by the Association, came on and I started to sing along. It was a sad song in some ways, but in others it was sort of the guy telling the girl how much he loved her and stuff. I know it was about a guy singing to a girl, but the words touched me and made me think of what Johnny and I once had. Toward the end I felt a little sad and quit singing and Johnny gave me a tender look.

"You sing nice," he said softly.

"Thanks, I like this song a lot. It reminds me of...of us in a way."

"Oh, yeah...I sort of see that. You mean the cherish part, right?"

"Yeah," I said wiping at my eyes. Then a Beatles song came on and we sang along and forgot about being sad.

Johnny stayed for an hour or so then said he needed to get back home cause his folks were taking him and his grandparents out to dinner at Thomas Cafe. I walked him to the street and he thanked me again for the radio and for remembering his birthday.

"How could I forget?" I teased, "It's tax day and my dad always makes a big deal out of it."

"Yeah, well...thanks anyway. You know, I don't feel any different either, being 14 I mean."

"I guess it's cause the changes are so slow we just get used to em'. I mean I know I'm a little taller and I got more hair down there now," I laughed.

"Oh yeah, did you grow any down there?" Johnny said grinning.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I laughed.

"Yeah, I would, but I don't guess that will ever happen again...will it?"

"Never know," I said trying to keep things light, "Nothing is forever...is it?"

"Yeah, nothing is forever..." he said wistfully.

"Well, enjoy the rest of your birthday and don't eat too much," I said as he started off.

"Thanks. Well...see ya' round."

"Yeah, round like a donut," I said stealing one of his favorite lines. We both laughed and then he rode off and I stood watching him go...again. It seemed like I was doing that a lot lately and it never got any easier.

~~~~~~~~~~0~~~~~~~~~~

April faded into May and before I knew it school was coming to an end. Just two more weeks to go and then a whole summer lay ahead. A summer without Johnny. After his birthday party we went back to the cold war and hardly spoke or saw each other anymore, but in a way that was easier. Eventually I figured I'd get over him, or one of us would give in. It was only a matter of time.

One Saturday afternoon in the middle of May I was out front of my house throwing a ball up in the air and catching it and being bored when I saw someone riding a bike up the street. It only took me a minute to figure out who it was and I began to run excitedly toward him.

He came to a stop just in front of me and we grinned at each other.

"Hi Robert, whatcha' doin'?"

"Hi Ben, oh nothin'. Just throwing the ball around. What are you doing over here?"

"I came to see ya', is that okay? You said if I was ever over this way..."

"Yeah, that's great. Want to come meet my folks, they're really nice. You'll like them."

Mom was just happy to see I had a new friend, and although I'd talked about Ben a few times this was the first time they'd met. She got us cookies and Kool-Aid and I think she made a friend of Ben right off the bat. 

We took our cookies and Kool-Aid outside and I showed Ben the clubhouse and pointed to the treehouse and he bout' went nuts when he saw it. As soon as we finished our snacks we climbed up into the treehouse and I showed him around. 

"This is so neat. Man I wish I had a treehouse like this. I don't even have a big tree in my yard. I bet Jake would go crazy if he saw this."

"Where is Jake, don't you usually hang out with him?"

"He got in trouble for calling his mom a bad word and now he can't play all weekend," Ben said sounding serious, "If I called my mom the b word she'd kill me."

"Yeah, mine too, but I'd never do that. My mom is nice."

"Yeah, she is and your dad."

"My folks are the best. Hey, wanna go over to the railroad tracks and see if there's a train? We can throw rocks and see if we can land em' inside the open doors of the box cars. That's what my friends and I do."

"Okay, boy I'm sure having fun today. Maybe sometime you can come over to my house and play."

"Sure, or we can go to the park again," I said as we climbed down. 

I took our glasses back into the kitchen and told my folks where we were going and of course my mom told us to be careful like always. 

As we set off toward the tracks we talked about the same kind of stuff we talked about at school, but suddenly Ben said something that took me off guard.

"What happened with that one kid, the one with the girlfriend? I thought you guys were friends."

"We were, but we sort of had a fight and now we're not...that's all."

"Too bad, he seems...so sad now."

Damn even Ben had noticed how miserable Johnny was. I guess it was pretty obvious if you just opened your eyes, but it was sort of unnerving to know even a 7th grader had noticed.

"If you don't mind me askin', what happened?"

"I do mind, it's none of your business," I said hotly, then seeing the hurt look on Ben's face I regretted it immediately.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's okay. It's not your fault. I just get mad when I think about that and I don't like to talk about it, okay?"

"Okay, sorry."

We reached the tracks but there was no train at the moment. I showed him around the depot and then led him to the sand pile in the corner of the lot and he went crazy. He was diving into the sand and covering himself up and being silly like a little kid and I guess it was contagious. Pretty soon I was joining him and we had a great time just being kids.

A train eventually came and we brushed the sand off then ran over to take our place beside the tracks. As soon as the engines passed we grabbed up a handful of rocks and waited for the first open boxcar to come into sight.

I made it inside but Ben threw too late and hit the side of the boxcar and bounced back, hitting the ground just a few feet from Ben's feet. The next shot was better and he just barely made it inside, but he was learning.

By the time the last box car passed he was almost as good at rock throwing as I was, and I'd had years of practice. When the caboose passed we waved and the man inside waved back and then we walked over to the station and got a drink at the fountain.

"What time do you have to be home?"

"I don't know, by six or so I guess."

"Cool, wanna go down to the small park and mess around?"

"Okay, where's that?"

I told him it was by the school and as we walked back we agreed to ride our bikes there to save time. Ben's bike was a rusty old Schwinn, but it seemed to work just fine. He made a big deal over my Stingray bike and I told him on the way back he could ride it and I'd ride his. That made him really happy and he had a big smile on his face the whole way there.

He was a good kid, and I enjoyed his company, but it wasn't like with my other friends. With Donnie and Gerald and Johnny before we broke up, I always knew that at some point there would be some sexy stuff going on. But with Ben it was just regular fun, and for a change that was kind of good.

When we reached the park we laid our bikes down and I led Ben to the monkey bars and we climbed up and just sat on the top and talked for a while. I couldn't help but think about all the times I'd wound up here after Johnny and I had a disagreement, but this time I didn't feel quiet so sad. Ben's company was good for me, I decided, and just what I needed, a friend with no strings attached.

Eventually we had to pee and we walked over to the bathrooms and took up a spot side by side at the urinal trough. For once I wasn't tempted to look at another boy's peter and I thought maybe I was growing up some and maybe changing for the better.  However, I do think Ben was sort of checking me out from the corner of his eye. Well, he was younger and probably curious about what an older boy looked like down there.

We zipped up and got a drink at the fountain outside and then swung for a while and talked some more. As we swung high into the air I suddenly realized I could see Johnny's house on each upward swing. I didn't want to look at first, but I couldn't stop myself and then suddenly I saw him standing at his front door and I swear he was looking right at me.

I slowed my swing down and planted my feet on the ground just sat there rocking back and forth and soon Ben followed my lead.

"What's wrong, you get dizzy?" Ben laughed.

"Naw, just tired of swinging. Let's ride back to my house."

"Can I still ride your bike?"

"Sure, I said so didn't I?"

"Okay, thanks. I'll be real careful. I never rode one of these before," he said picking my bike up with loving care, "its so neat."

We rode back in silence except for an occasional whoop from Ben who seemed to really like riding my bike. When we arrived at my house it was pushing five o'clock and he'd said he needed to be home around six so we didn't have much time left to hang out.

I led him into the house and showed him my room and as he was poking around and looking at my models and stuff, acting like a little kid in a candy store. I got the impression that he didn't have a lot of toys and stuff and that him and his mom had a hard time making it. That made me like him even more, and suddenly I felt very protective of him. I was trying to think of how I might help him out when suddenly he sat down beside me on the bed and sighed.

"This has been the best day of my life," he said sounding sincere.

"Wow, we didn't do that much," I laughed.

"For me it was a lot. All Jake and I ever do is just hang out or ride bikes, but I really liked what we did today. I really liked being with you. Thanks Robert for letting me come over."

"Heck, you're welcome. Know what? I had a good time too. You're a pretty neat friend."

"Thanks, so are you. Think I could come back sometime?"

"Heck yeah, anytime. Do you have a phone at home?"

He shook his head, "Naw, mom uses the neighbor's phone when she needs to call anyone, but Jake has one."

"Well, I'll give you my number and if you can find a phone to use you can call me and let me know when you're coming. That way I'll be sure to be home."

"Okay, sure...that sounds fine. Thanks."

I wrote my number on a piece of notebook paper along with my name and address and he tucked it into his pants pocket. 

"Well, I should probably get goin'. Don't wanna make mom mad by being late."

"Okay, I'll walk you to the street."

As we passed through the living room Ben said goodbye to my folks and Mikey and at the street we talked a little before he rode off.

"I really had a good time, I'm not kidding. Thanks again for lettin' me come over."

"I had a good time too. It was fun."

"So...we're friends now, right?" he said looking shy all of a sudden.

"Sure, you bet," I said reaching out my hand to give him an Indian handshake. He caught on right away and as we locked our hand around each others arm we grinned at one another. "Friends," I said and he repeated it.

"Well, gotta' go. See ya' at school Robert."

"Yeah, hey...why don't you come sit with us Monday?"

"Are...are you sure?"

"Yeah, we're friends now. It will be great."

I waved as he rode off and watched till he turned the corner and headed up First Street. When I got back inside my mom was smiling warmly.

"He seems like a nice boy. He's the boy you were defending that day, right?"

"Yeah, he's a 7th grader, but he's pretty cool. We had a lot of fun."

"I'm glad to see you making new friends, but don't forget about your old ones."

"Like Johnny?" I said angrily.

"Robert!" my dad said raising his voice just enough to get my attention, "Apologize to your mother."

"Sorry mom," I said politely, "I'm still friend with Donnie and Walter and Gerald, if that's what you mean."

"I know Johnny is a touchy subject for you, but I hope eventually you two will patch things up and be friends again."

"Maybe," I said doubtfully, "I'm gonna go to my room now, okay?"

"All right, I'll call you when supper is ready."

I grabbed my transistor radio and tuned in the Tulsa station, and the sang along with The Beach Boys as I fell across my bed. I tried to figure out why I always got so mad when someone mentioned Johnny. Did I still love him, or did I hate him so much that the very mention of his name brought on thoughts of mayhem? I'd come pretty close to punching Donnie's lights out that day and I'd snapped at poor Ben and scared him silly. What was wrong with me? I'd never been this way before. I was always a sweet and easy going guy, now I was turning into someone I didn't like much.

It was easy to lay the blame on Johnny, but I knew there was more to it than that. Maybe it was those hormones I'd read about or the whole puberty thing making me crazy. But if that was true, then why was I suddenly less interested in sex than I'd been. 

Since Johnny and I had broken up I didn't think about sex nearly as much as I had before. Oh sure when I got the opportunity I'd usually make something happen, like with Ricky, but it wasn't like that was all I thought about anymore. And with Ben I didn't think about sex at all. We were just two friends with no pressure to do anything other than have a good time and that was just fine with me.

I must've dozed off thinking about things cause the next thing I knew my dad was knocking on my bedroom door telling me supper was ready. I got up slowly and turned off my radio and headed to the bathroom to pee and wash my face and hands. 

By the time I got to the table everyone was seated and I slid into my seat and yawned. 

"Did you enjoy your nap son?"

"Yeah, I didn't know I was so tired."

"Well, you play hard and you're still a growing boy," she said passing the fried chicken to me.

"Mmm...my favorite," I said grabbing a leg and a breast.

We ate in silence for a while then mom spoke softly and dad looked my way to make sure I was listening.

"Your father and I have been talking about our plans for the summer. Mikey is old enough now to go with us on a little trip and we were wondering if you had any ideas about where you'd like to go?"

"Gee, I hadn't really thought about it. I mean last year we just went camping and that was a lot of fun," then I thought about Johnny and what fun we'd had on the camping trip and how Johnny had sort of saved our lives and I felt kind of sad.

"Well, we could probably work a camping trip in with a few of your buddies," Dad said, but I think we all knew it just wouldn't be the same without Johnny.

"I'll think about it, okay"

"Okay, no hurry, it will probably be late June or July before we do it."

"That's a long time away." Suddenly I wondered if they were just feeling me out to see if I as planning on including Johnny in my summer plans.

After that we talked about family stuff and about Ben again and mom said Uncle Joe had come by while I was gone.

"Joe wanted to know if you and some of your buddies would be interested in coming out and helping on the farm again this year. He said you were a real help last year and he thought you guys had a good time."

"We did, it was really fun. I'll talk to Donnie and Gerald and maybe even Ben. He might like getting away for a while. I don't think he has much fun at home. See his dad died and it's just him and his mom and little sister and I don't think they have much money."

"Oh, well...that sounds like a good idea. He could earn some extra money and have some fun at the same time. Do your other friends get along with him?"

"Oh sure, they like him just fine. He even sits with us at lunch sometimes." Well, that was stretching it a little, he had that one time and I'd invited him again.

"Good, well...I'll tell your uncle that you're interested and we can work out the details later. Any other plans for the summer?"

"Naw, not really. Maybe go swimming when the pool opens. I bet Ben could go since he lives so close to the park."

"You really like this new boy, don't you?"

"Well, yeah. He's different than my other friends. He's funny and he likes the same stuff I do."

"And he follows you around like a puppy," dad teased, "Sometimes it's good to have a younger friend that you can lead, but don't lead him into trouble."

"Dad, you know I'd never do that," I said pretending to be offended.

"No, I guess not. Johnny was really the bad boy, wasn't he?"'

I looked at dad but didn't reply. How dare him mention Johnny and how dare him put him down. Only I could do that. I think dad might have been trying to get a rise out of me, but I just went back to eating and didn't speak again till mom asked me a question.

"More potatoes dear?"

"No thanks mom, any dessert?"

"Just some left over cookies, or there's ice cream."

"I guess I'll have some ice cream, but I'll get it."

"Anyone else want some?" I asked before I put the carton away.

No one did, but Mikey kept holding out his little hand and I fed him a few bites of mine and he laughed happily. That kid could put anyone in a good mood.

I cleared and mom washed and dad dried while I played with Mikey and then we all watched TV till bedtime.

I took a quick shower then put on clean undies and headed off to bed. The days were getting longer and it was barely dark by the time I climbed into bed. The long lazy days of sumer lay ahead and though once I'd looked forward to them with excitement, this year would be different. This would be my first summer without Johnny and I didn't know how I'd make it through it.

I turned on my radio and found WULS in Chicago and listened to The Box Tops, marveling at the fact that the music was coming from a place a thousand miles away. I remembered Evelyn had once gone to visit her mom in Chicago and stayed for the summer and we'd written letters back and forth. I sort of missed her and Chrissy, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to forgive her and be friends again. I guess I had a lot of growing up to do and a lot of decisions to make, but I had the whole summer to figure things out.

I fell asleep listening to the radio and woke up to static. Sometimes you could pick up far away stations clear as a bell and then they'd begin to fade out until they were like ghosts. I turned off the radio and for some reason got up and went to my window and just stared out.

My room faced the street and under the street light I saw someone standing there just staring toward our house. I stepped to one side and peeked around the curtain, sure I'd imagined the whole thing, but whoever it was was still there. Then suddenly they gave the house one last look and started walking away. Only then did I realize that the person was a kid, and not an adult, and I had a pretty good idea who it was.

I had a hard time going back to sleep that night, not because I was scared or worried, but because I couldn't figure out for he life of me why Johnny would be staring at our house at midnight. Was he going crazy? What did he hope to accomplish out there? Had he planned on coming to my window and knocking like he'd once done when we were younger? That night he'd scared the crap out of me, but eventually I'd let him in. We'd huddled under my bed covers and talked and laughed about how we were putting one over on our folks. He'd gotten a spanking when he got home for sneaking out at night, but he'd never told them where he went and I never got into trouble.

That was how it was with us, we always had each other's back and we never ratted each other out. Of course he was usually the one doing the naughty stuff, but I was always game to go along with whatever he dreamed up and I hardly ever got into trouble. No, it was usually Johnny who got the shit end of the stick, but that was just the way he was. He protected me and I sort of took it for granted. It was just one of the things I loved about him and had come to admire over the years.

I brushed a tear from my eye that I didn't know was there and thought about the last time we'd talked. Johnny had been so different than his usual cocksure self. He was timid and unsure of himself that day, as if he was someone else. But then I guess we both had changed over the last few months and what he lacked in courage I more than made up in orneriness.

Sometimes, like that night, I was tempted to give in and take Johnny back on his terms. After all how could anyone promise tomorrow when all that was for sure was today? But then in the light of day those feelings would quickly dissolve and I'd be right back where I started. I knew I was being stubborn and that I only had myself to blame for my loneliness and sadness, but I just couldn't seem to make myself do or say the right things. It was almost like I was hellbent on destroying my own life, and using Johnny to make sure I did a good job.

Sleep finally came, but it was early morning by then and I slept fitfully and didn't want to get up at all that day. Only a little coaxing from my dad and mom's blueberry pancakes finally succeeded in prying me out of my bed.

I spent the day hanging around the house and playing with Mikey while mom and dad enjoyed some time together. The weather was warmer now, but it was cloudy that day and looked like rain and I felt as gloomy as the sky.

I thought about the figure watching the house last night and wondered if I'd dreamed that after all. It just didn't make sense for Johnny or anyone else to be hanging around watching our house, but it was a mystery that would go unsolved for quite some time.

~~~~~~~~~~0~~~~~~~~~~

Monday Ben sat with us, and though the other guys were a little surprised to see him they welcomed him with open arms and soon he started to feel a little more comfortable. After lunch he hung around with us outside and we talked about out summer plans and I brought Uncle Joe's offer up.

"Count me in," Donnie said excitedly, "Probably Walter too...right?"

"Heck yeah," Walter said excitedly. 

Gerald had begun hanging out with his new friend and wasn't around so I then asked Ben what he thought about the idea.

"It sounds like fun, but I'm not sure my mom would let me go."

"Well, we have some time to work on her. Maybe is she meets my folks she'd feel better about things and let you go."

"I'd like to go. Do you really think your folks would talk to her?"

"I guarantee it. I'll talk to them tonight."

"Gee, thanks," Ben said happily.

We filled Ben in on what went on last year and then the subject of the camping trip came up, but I let Donnie tell about Johnny saving us from the flood. There were too many hurt feelings connected with Johnny for me talk about him.

The bell finally rang and we went to our lockers then to class and before I knew it the afternoon had passed and it was time for PE. PE was held in the gym behind the high school and all six grades used it so there were boys from 7th through 9th grade together, but the Freshman, Juniors, and Seniors used it at different times.

Ben wasn't in my PE class, but there were a few other 7th graders, though they usually stayed together and didn't really associate with the older boys. That was all except this one kid named Brandon. Brandon was a tough little guy with big brown eyes and a smirk instead of a smile. He had a dirty mouth that would embarrass a sailor, and he was always up to something.

I guess because he was so outgoing the older boys accepted him pretty easy, but I wasn't part of that bad boy crowd and didn't really know him that well. But that afternoon he came up to me as I was warming up and asked me if I knew Ben.

Of course I said I did, and at first he didn't say anything more, then he gave me a mean look and said, "How come you hanging around with a 7th grader?"

I thought that sounded strange since he tended to hang with the older boys himself and it made me sort of mad.

"He's my friend, that's all." I said, not trying to hide my annoyance.

"Oh yeah, where did you guys  meet?"

"In the park, if it's any of your business," I said curtly.

"Whoa, don't get your panties in a wad. Just akin', that's all."

"Why do you care? He a friend of yours?"

"Naw, I just know him from school, that's all. He said he had a friend in 8th grade and I seen you two hanging out at lunch, that's all."

"He's a neat kid, I like him," I said opening up a bit.

"And you don't care that's he's a 7th grader?"

"Why should I? We're only a year apart in age. It's not like he's a little kid or anything."

"Yeah, so you don't mind paling around with a younger kid. So...how come you don't like me?" he said looking hurt.

I was totally taken off guard by his question and just stood there staring at him for a minute. It wasn't that I didn't like him, I just didn't like some of the things he got into and his cocky attitude. But it seemed like he was taking it personally that I didn't join in the craziness he and the others got into.

"I like you just fine," I said shrugging, "I don't really know you, but you seem sort of wild and I don't like to get involved in that stuff."

"Aw, we're just having fun, that's all. But I'm not really a bad kid," he said grinning, "I just get bored real easy."

"Well, there are better ways to handle boredom than getting into trouble."

"I guess. Hey, you're not like the other older kids. You seem...I don't know, smarter or something."

"Thanks, I'm smart enough to stay out of trouble," I said grinning.

"Okay, so...well...I guess I'll see ya' around, okay?" he said suddenly leaving as suddenly as he arrived.

I stared after him as I continued my warm up exercises and wondered what that was all about. He was a funny kid. I wondered if he hung out with the older kids because he was just trying to fit in, or if  he just thought there was more mischief there. Maybe he was lonely and needed a friend, maybe that was why he'd approached me. It was kind of confusing, but I wasn't sure I wanted a friend like him. I had enough drama going on in my life without adding to it.

We played dodge ball later and Brandon nailed me hard in the gut causing me to go down hard and suddenly he was running toward me at full speed.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry...I didn't mean to hit you so hard. Can you get up?" he said showing much more concern than was necessary.

"I'm fine, just knocked the wind out of me," I said getting up slowly. It was kind of embarrassing having this younger kid fawning over me and I just wanted him to go away.

"Okay, just checking. Anyway, you're OUT!" he yelled.

"Butthole," I muttered under my breath and he was laughing as he walked away.

When it was time to shower that afternoon I had just lathered up my hair when suddenly beside me I hear this voice talking like Donald Duck. I wiped the soap from my eyes and there stood Brandon naked as the day he was born just yakking away as a duck.

"What are you doing?" I laughed.

"Oh, nothin'," he said still in his duck voice, "can't a duck get some water around here?"

I was cracking up by then, the only other person I knew who could talk like that was my Uncle Joe and I think Brandon was even better at than he was.

"You're crazy," I laughed.

"A crazy duck," he said then quacked.

All the while we'd been standing there we were sort of covertly checking each other out and his body was pretty much what I'd expected a 12 year olds to look like. He said his birthday was in June, so actually he was almost 13 and Ben had already turned 13. Brandon had a few hairs just above a cut pecker that looked about 3" soft and probably only grew an inch or so when it got hard. His balls hung down free of his body which made me think maybe he could shoot sperm, but that wasn't a given. When he turned to soap up his front side I got a good look at his backside and I had to admit his butt was pretty cute. 

It wasn't that I was thinking about having sex with him or anything, but I could appreciate his body and compare it to the other boys I seen as well as my own. I don't know if he was checking me out as closely as I was checking him out, but I was pretty sure that he was curious. After all he was a boy, and boys are always curious, especially about how they compare to other boys.

"What are you doing after school?" Brandon asked in his regular voice as he turned to rinse off his backside.

"Just going home, doing my homework...nothing special. Why?"

"No reason, just wondering. I'm going to the library. Gotta check out a new book to read and check some back in."

"So you can read?" I joked.

"Very funny, I'm 12 not 2, almost 13 actually," he said shaking his head and making a funny face.

"What kind of books do you like?"

"Oh, lots of different kinds. I like science fiction and adventure. I just finished this cool book about these kids who discovered a cave and had all kinds of neat adventures."

He surprised me with his passion for reading and I was starting to realize that there might be more to the kid than I'd first thought. 

"Is it called The Wind in the Cave?"

"Yeah, how did you know..." he sort of stuttered a little and gave me a funny look.

"Cause' it's one of my favorite books." It was a great adventure novel, not to mention that the two boys in it were really close and you sort of thought they might be lovers or something. There was even a part where they kissed and it was the first book I'd ever read that had anything like that in it.

"Really, uh...it's okay I guess," he said backtracking a little.

"Have you ever read Logan's Mountain?"

"Naw, is it good?"

"Yeah, tell you what. I don't have to be home right away, maybe I'll go to the library with you. I can call my mom from there and tell her where I am."

"Yeah, okay...that sounds great," He said excitedly.

We rinsed off and grabbed our towels and wrapped them around us and went off to the locker room to get dressed. As we dried off we talked about other books we're read and I discovered that he liked Robert A. Heinlein as much as I did. It was crazy that such a wild kid liked reading that much, but like I said he was surprising me more by the minute.

We dressed and stopped by our lockers and met at the front entrance, the one that looked out onto main street. The library was across the street and down a ways, and as we started walking that way I saw Gerald and his new friend crossing the street.

"You know those guys?"

"Yeah, that's Gerald and his friend Todd. Gerald and I hang out sometimes."

"You know a lot of kids, dontcha'?"

"A lot of the kids from Washington, that's where I went to grade school, plus I've made new friends since I started Junior High. But Gerald used to go to Roosevelt, we met on the tracks one day actually."

"Everyone likes you, right?"

"I don't know, I guess not everyone, just the ones who count," I said grinning.

"I heard about you and that boy Bruce getting into a fight. Did it hurt bad getting beat up?"

"Almost as bad as gettin' hit with a dodge ball in the gut," I joked.

"I said I was sorry," he said reverting to his duck voice.

I cracked up laughing then, "I know, I'm just pulling your leg. But seriously getting beat up is no fun. I don't recommend it to anyone. The last punch put the lights out and I don't remember much after that."

"Damn, that's hard," he said frowning, "I never got beat up before, but I gotta' black eye once for being a smart ass to my brother Bill. He's 16 and a real asshole."

"I have a brother but he's just a little kid. We don't fight though, he's a neat kid."

"Lucky you, you're the older one. No bigger brother to beat up on you and get you into trouble."

So maybe that was part of Brandon's problem. If he was getting picked on at home it would stand to reason that he might be a little wild at school and maybe even pick on kids himself, though I'd never seen him do that.

"Well, I'm no expert on these things. My friend Donnie has an older brother, but they get along pretty good. His name is Larry and he's a neat guy. He takes us for rides in his car and brings Donnie to school each day."

"My brother don't gotta car, he has a motorcycle, but he never lets me ride with him. He's a real asshole."

"You said that," I laughed.

"Oh yeah, he's a real cocksucker too," he said cracking up.

"Oh, did he suck yours?" I said before I could stop myself.

"Dis..gust...ing," he laughed, "I wouldn't let him near my pecker. He'd probly' bite it off."

We'd arrived at the library by then and of course we had to be fairly quiet. I used the phone at the desk to call my mom then I took him back to the fiction aisle and showed him a couple of the books I liked and he decided to check both of them out.

"Can you read two books that fast?" I whispered.

"Yeah, nothin' else to do at home. I usually read at night. We don't have a TV or anything."

No TV, was that even possible? Even the poorest kids I knew had at least a B&W TV. We had a nice color one and I was the envy of a few of my friends.

"Oh, well...I guess if I didn't have a TV I might read more myself. Reading is sort of like TV, in a way. Except you gotta' picture all the cool stuff in your head."

"Yeah, so do you have a TV?"

"Yeah, a color one."

"No way. Oh man, I'd love to see that."

Was he hinting? I didn't know him that well yet, and I still had some reservations about befriending someone like him.

"How come you don't have a TV?"

"We can't afford one I guess. My old man hardly makes enough money to pay the rent and buy groceries and my asshole brother has a job but he never helps em' out."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's okay. I ain't ashamed or nothin'. My old man does the best he can," he said pulling into himself a little.

"That's all that counts. Hey, ever check out any of the View Master reels?"

"Yeah, sometimes. That's a good idea. I think I'll see if they have any with caves and stuff."

We found some cool reels and Brandon added those plus a viewer to his stack and we went up to the desk to check them out.

"Hello boys," the librarian said smiling at us. I didn't know here name, but she was there a lot and was always nice to us kids.

"Nothing for you today Robert?" she said surprising me by knowing my name.

"No ma'am, I still have a book I been reading for a while now."

"All right. Well summer is coming and I suppose you boys will have less time for reading and spend more time having fun."

"Yea ma'am, but I still like to read at night. It helps me to get to sleep."

"Oh, me too. I alway keep a book at my bedside," she said as she stamped Brandon's items, "Well, you boys have a good day. Goodbye Brandon, Good bye Robert."

"She knows our name," I said once we were outside.

"Yeah, she's pretty nice. I come here a lot, and sometimes I just sit and read to get away from all the noise at home."

"Oh, is there a lot of noise at your house?"

"Yeah, my folks fight a lot and my asshole brother is always picking fights with me or my dad."

"Your brother sounds like a real asshole," I laughed.

"I been tellin' ya'," he said pounding me gently on the arm.

"Ow...don't beat me up duck boy," I said grabbing him and putting him in a head lock.

"Abuse," he giggled, "this older boy is picking on me ma'am," he said to a lady getting in her car, but she just smiled and went on about her business.

"Trying to get me in trouble are you?" I said letting him go, "Tattle tale."

"I'm not a tattle tale, I was only teasing. I've never ratted anyone out in my life, not even  my asshole brother, and believe me I could've a hundred times."

"Are you heading home now?"

"Naw, don't feel like going home yet. I'll probably just hang out at the park or something. Are you?"

"Yeah, I told my mom I'd be home by 4:30."

"Oh, okay," he said sounding disappointed.

Damn, this kid was getting to me with his hard luck story and news of his asshole brother.

"Want to come home with me for a little while. You can meet my mom and little brother and we can  have a snack?"

"Are you serious? Yeah, that'd be great....if you're sure," he said looking like a lost puppy.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Come on, it's not far."

Mom looked surprised when I showed up with Brandon in tow, but got over it quickly. She was used to me bringing someone home, of course most of the time it was Johnny, and she put Brandon at ease pretty quick.

She served us Kool-Aid and cookies and we took them to my room. Brandon reacted to my room about the same way Ben had, poking around and making little noises and telling me how neat everything was.

I felt a little guilty that I had so much and he had so little, but I guess I had just taken for granted that most kids had at least some of the things I did. He seemed especially interested in my models and my comic book collection and asked my permission to look through my comics.

"Sure go ahead, just be careful. I like to keep them in good condition.  I've read some of them a dozen times and I still like them."

"What's your favorite?" he asked thumbing through the stack.

"Well, Green Lantern is my favorite super hero, but I also like Archie Comics and Harvey Comics, like Casper the Friendly Ghost."

"Oh cool. I haven't read very many comic books, mostly Superman, but Green Lantern sounds neat."

 I didn't really know this kid that well, but I knew he liked to read and the librarian knew his name. He seemed to respect the books he checked out so I decided he might be worth the risk.

"If you want you can borrow a few...if you'll promise to take real good care of them and bring them back in good condition."

"Are you serious? Do you mean it?" he said sounding as excited as a kid on Christmas morning.

"Yeah, here let me get you the first couple of Green Lanterns, then you can see if you like it and if you do you can borrow a few at a time and get caught up. Oh, and maybe an Archie or two."

When he left the day he had six of my prized comics and mom even gave us a brown grocery bag to put them in. She knew how much I valued my comic books and I think she was a little surprised that I was loaning some of them out to this new friend, but she didn't say anything right then.

Before he left that day I showed him the clubhouse and the treehouse and he was as excited about those as he had been about everything else. When he finally left about 5:30 that day I guess we were sort of friends and I felt good about myself for making another new friend and not letting sex cloud things for me. Course that was easy since the boys were younger. I don't know why, but that one year age difference seemed to make a difference for me. Maybe I only liked boys my age or older. It was hard to understand or put into words, but with Ben and now Brandon it was just about being friends and that was all.

When I came in after walking Brandon to the street and making sure he knew which way to go to get home, I came in to find mom and dad talking quietly, Mikey on dad's lap.

"Hello boy, who's the new friend?"

"His name is Brandon and he's another 7th grader. He's in my gym class and we sort of hung out after school and I guess we're friends now."

"Well, you've always made friends easy, just like I used to when I was your age. There's something about us Warren boys that attracts others to us," he laughed.

"Well, you certainly attracted me," mom laughed.

"Mom!" I giggled.

"What, I'm just saying your father was the handsomest boy I knew and a real gentleman. All the girls were crazy for him and he had so many friends, boys and girls. I was lucky I landed him."

"Oh Mildred, there was never any doubt in my mind which gal I wanted to marry."

"And never any doubt what man I wanted," she said fondly.

"So, no truce in the Johnny-Robert war yet?" dad asked grinning.

"No sir. Nothing has changed."

He nodded and turned his attention to Mikey who wanted to play patty cake.

"You must trust this boy a lot to loan him some of your precious comic books," mom said finally voicing what she'd only thought earlier.

"Well, he likes books and he likes to read so I figured he knew how to take care of things. If I'm wrong I'll be awfully disappointed in him."

"You've always had a trusting nature. Just another of the things that make you so special."

"Awww...mom, you're embarrassing me," I moaned.

Dad laughed, "Leave the boy alone Mildred. His head will swell up so big it won't fit on his pillow."

We all laughed then and soon it was time for supper and we talked about our day and had a nice meal. When we were finished I  helped mom clear and then took Mikey to the living room and entertained him while mom and dad did dishes and visited.

I had found out a long time ago that my dad was different from a lot of dads. While most dads sat around and let their wife do all the work, my dad actually enjoyed helping my mom do simple things like dishes. It gave them a chance to visit and share their day and gave mom more time to be with her family. I guess I just took for granted that all dads were like that, but as I grew older I realized he was unique. His habits and character would stay with me all my life, and I like to think that I turned out to just as good a man as he was.

We watched TV for a while and then I remembered I had some homework and excused myself to my room. As I sat there working my math problems that evening I thought about how excited Ben and now Brandon had been visiting me and I felt sort of bad for them. 

I also thought about what dad had asked about me and Johnny calling a truce, and wondered if that was possible. Maybe I was being too hard on him. Maybe we could at least be friends. He looked so sad sitting there all alone at lunch time and in gym when he would strip down to shower I could see that he was losing weight.

He never went to Walter's anymore to work out and I'd stopped going when we first broke up. I still did sit ups and stuff at home, but not that often. I was active enough to keep my skinny boy body in shape, though I would have liked to have more muscle. It would come eventually, but for now I was okay just like I was. Especially since there was no one to see it or appreciate but me now.

I finished my homework and took a quick shower and slipped on clean undies and piled into bed. It was dark out and the temperature had dropped some. The warm covers felt good on my almost naked body and I was tempted to lose my underwear and roll around naked. But being naked wasn't nearly as much fun when you slept alone, so I kept them on.

I considered jacking off, but I was too tired to put much effort into it and fell asleep before I could muster up enough strength to start. I slept fitfully and actually got up once to look out the window, sure I'd see a dark shadow lurking across the street, but there was on one, and I went back to bed and wondered again if I'd imagined the whole thing that night.

~~~~~~~~~~0~~~~~~~~~~

The days passed slowly and finally there were only three days of school left. I continued to hang around with Ben at lunch and he'd come over the previous week, but I'd yet to visit him at his house. Brandon returned my comics in perfect condition and I loaned him some more. He said he liked Green Lantern a lot and wanted to read all the ones I had. He said he had also finished one of the books I suggested and we talked about it for awhile that day.

That day, three days before summer vacation, I slid into my seat at the lunch table and Ben showed up a few minutes later. Donnie was late that day and when he got there he had news.

"Hey, did you guys hear about Johnny?" he said sounding all excited that he might have news we didn't have.

"No, what?" Walter asked before I could open my mouth.

What now? I wondered, did he get in trouble again, or beat up, or worse, put in jail?" My stomach was churning as I waited for Donnie to spill the beans and what he told us was ten times worse than all the things I'd feared.

"Him and his folks are moving to Locust Grove as soon as school is out. Next year he'll go to school in Locust Grove. Johnny's uncle died and left his house to Johnny's dad and they're gonna live there."

"Johnny's moving?" I said dumb struck and ready to break down at any minute.

"Yeah, but it's not that far. His dad will still be working at the Paper Mill and it's not that far for him to drive."

Locust was just over 20 miles from Pryor which was only a twenty minute trip in a car, but to me it was as if Johnny was moving a million miles away. I was sure I'd never see him again and to think that we were still at odds made it even worse. I thought about how it would be if he moved and I never saw him again, and made a decision. I had to say goodbye, because if I didn't I would never be able to live with myself again.

The rest of the day passed in a blur and even in PE when I saw Johnny it still didn't seem real. He was there, right before my eyes, but next year he'd be somewhere else, making new friends and maybe find a new boyfriend. Boy, had I messed up.

I hurried home that day, sure I wanted to go to my room and bury my head in the covers and just bawl, but instead I wound up unloading on my mom.

She was sympathetic, but really couldn't offer much help except to agree with me that I needed to say goodbye to him and try to fix things if I could. I went to my room and laid down for a while and I guess I fell asleep. 

Dad woke me again for supper but I didn't have much appetite. I guess mom had told dad about Johnny moving and after supper he took me out back and had a talk with me.

"Boy," he said slipping arm around my neck, "you will have many friends in your lifetime, but only one best friend, and I think Johnny is that friend. Now, I know you two had some problems, but maybe this is the time to bury the hatchet and make things right. Locust Grove isn't so far that you two can't see each other from time to time. Your mother and I talked about it and we'd be willing to take you to see him occasionally. Maybe some distance will help things, maybe you were too close, but whatever the reason for what happened, now is the time to try to fix things. Cause if you don't you will regret it the rest of your life. Trust me son, I know...I've walked down this same path before and I know what can happen."

"I know dad. I want to say goodbye to him. I just don't know how to start. I mean it's kind of hard after all the stuff we said to each other."

"Well, sometimes being a man means you have to swallow your pride and do the right thing. I have faith in you and I know you will do the right thing. And...I think the sooner you do that the better." 

"You mean tonight?"

"Your mother is in there calling Johnny's house right now, finding out all the details and if Johnny is willing, I think you two should talk."

I swallowed hard, but I knew he was right. The longer I put it off the more likely it would be to talk myself out of doing "the right thing".

"Okay, I guess that's best."

"Good, let's go in and see what she's found out."

The story Donnie had told us was pretty much what Johnny's mom told my mom, and they were moving that weekend. Johnny had thrown a big fit, she'd said, and had been hiding in his room ever since they told him, but she said she was sure he'd come around. He had cousins living nearby and he wouldn't be alone when he started school next fall.

"She said it was fine if Robert wanted to come down and talk to Johnny. She said it might help get him out of his bad mood."

"Want me to take you son?" dad offered.

"No sir, I'll ride my bike if that's okay."

"That's fine. It's still light out, just try to be home before it gets too dark."

"Yes sir, thanks."

I grabbed a windbreaker and my bike and started out for Johnny's house, hoping I didn't chicken out before I got there. I passed by Larry Kating house then down the block and turned and rode in front of the girls' house, but didn't see anyone stirring. 

As I turned the corner and started down Johnny's street I felt a lump in my throat and started trembling. I'd ridden down this street a hundred times before, but this time it was as if I was noticing things for the first time. The neighbor's boat out front, the white dog penned up out back, a spruce tree that I'd never noticed before. 

I was tempted to ride on by and just go back home, but I knew I could never face my dad again if I didn't do the right thing after his pep talk. Instead I took a deep breath and rode into Johnny's yard and parked my bike on his front sidewalk.

I was sure I'd puke on the doorstep, but somehow I managed to keep my supper down, and just as I started to knock on the door it opened suddenly and Johnny stuck his head out.

"Oh, hi," he said softly, "come on in."

I muttered a hello and followed him inside. His dad was nowhere to be seen and his mom stuck her head out of the kitchen and said hello then disappeared again as Johnny led me to his room. 

It seemed like a million years since I'd been in his room, but it looked exactly the same as I'd remembered. Bookcases full of books and things of interest to Johnny, a few models, clothes on the floor and bed, an empty glass and saucer on the night stand.

"Sit down," Johnny said sitting down on his unmade bed. 

I could smell Johnny's unique scent everywhere in the room and it overwhelmed my senses. This was going to be harder than I'd imagined and I wasn't sure I could do it without totaling breaking down.

"I guess you heard...that we're moving?"

"Yeah, Donnie told me."

"It's not so far...."

"It seems like it," I said sighing.

"Guess it doesn't matter much anyway...right?"

"Of course it matters," I said growing agitated, "We won't be living in the same town anymore, I won't see you again...."

"It's not like you wanted to see me anymore anyway..."

I closed my eyes and tried to think what to say that wouldn't sound stupid or hurtful. I knew this was the time to lay my heart on the line and admit my part of what had happened, but did it really matter in the end? Soon he'd be gone and nothing would matter.

"I'm sorry, I really am. I just didn't want you to move away without saying goodbye. That's important to me. No matter what happened between us, I will always love you and I'll miss having you around. My folks say they would bring me to see you, but I'm not sure that will happen, or if you'd want that."

"Of course I'd want that," Johnny said sounding upset that I'd doubt that.

"Anyway, I guess now...we really know that things aren't going to be the same anymore, so we can either just say goodbye and forget it or we can part as friends, it's up to you."

"I've never stopped being your friend," Johnny said looking ready to cry, "and I hoped things would get back the way they were. I've missed you so much. I can't hardly stand it when I see you at school and know you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you," I said gently, "I just didn't like some of the things you said or did."

"I tried to make things right..."

"Let's not fight," I said holding up my hands, "I didn't come here to talk about what happened or what we should do about that. I just wanted you to know that I'll miss you and I wanted to say goodbye, because I couldn't live with myself if I didn't."

"I don't want to go, you know that right?"

"Yeah, your mom told my mom that, but what can you do? You gotta do what your folks say."

"Or I could run away," he mumbled.

"Yeah, and live where?" I chuckled.

"With you," he said looking up with a sad look on his face.

"I wish," I said sincerely, "I really do, just like before."

"It wouldn't be the same though...would it?"

"Probably not. Look, I gotta go before it get too dark, but we can talk again...before you move. You can talk to me at school or come by my house."

"Okay, I will. I'll be sure to give you my new address and stuff too."

"Okay, well...I gotta go," I said standing up.

Johnny stood too and we stood there awkwardly for a few minutes and then I thought "what the heck" and reached out to hug him. He was in my arms so fast he almost knocked me down and then I realized we were both crying.

We just stood there for a long time holding each other and crying, sharing our grief over the love we'd lost, but eventually the tears dried up and we pulled apart. 

Wiping at our eyes we stood facing one another, a little embarrassed, then Johnny gave me a sad smile and sniffed back a few tears.

"Can I...can I kiss you?"

I nodded and we moved back together, hugging each other as we kissed gently and lovingly. When we broke the kiss I pulled away and took his hands in mine and looked into his eyes.

"Don't forget me, okay?"

"Never," he said starting to cry again, "I will always love you."

"I will always love you too." I said wiping at my eyes. We stood just holding hands for a while, but eventually I pulled away, "I have to go. I'll see you before you move...okay?"

"Yeah, thanks for coming by."

He walked me to the front door and watched as I rode away. I turned and waved and he waved back and that was the last time I saw Johnny for a while.

 

End of Chapter 18




 

Well, looks Robert really screwed the pooch this time. Wasting all the time he and Johnny could've been together and now...Johnny is moving away. Will their separation mean an end to their friendship and their love, or will things get better in the end? Only time will tell.

Please let me know what you think about the story. I'm not getting nearly as much mail as I used to and I'm wondering if anyone is still out there reading it. Oh sure I have a few die hard followers I hear from each time a new chapter is posted, but I need lots of encouragement to keep  going. So Please take a minute and email me. I promise I will reply to every email as quickly as possible.

Thanks to those who have written and shared their own personal stories and for your encouragement over the years.





 





    Thanks once again for your support over the years and I value your emails and your input. Please address all emails to kewl_dad1@hotmail.com I promise to answer all of them in a timely fashion.



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Kewl Dad

 













I have updated my story list if you see any missing please let me know.

Other stories by Kewl Dad

* Denotes Series, rest are short stories



  1. A Christmas for Joey

  2. A Christmas With Nick

  3. Accidental Dad*

  4. Adolescent

  5. Alex and Aidan*

  6. Andy Tastes Like Candy

  7. At the Dike*

  8. Black Cock

  9. Boy Glory Hole

  10. Bullied

  11. Christmas Boy

  12. CL Cock Sucker

  13. Cory*

  14. Corey's Scent

  15. Cody's Christmas Wish

  16. Dirt Bikes and Blowjobs

  17. DMV Boy

  18. Dougie's Story #Part 3 of a series

  19. The Family*

  20. The Ginger and the Chub

  21. Hair Salon Boys

  22. I Heart You

  23. Little Brother's Feet*

  24. Lost in Fear*

  25. Mars

  26. McChicken

  27. My Best Friend's Dad *Related story to My Son's Best Friends

  28. My Not so Miserable Life

  29. My Little Runaway #Part 1 of a series

  30. My Son's Best Friends *Related series to My Best Friend's Dad

  31. My Little Runaway

  32. My 11th Summer*

  33. One Night

  34. Poindexter Files*

  35. Rabbit: A Christmas Story

  36. Second Chance for Love

  37. Six Black Boys*

  38. Skateboard Boy*

  39. Skateboard Christmas

  40. Sudden Family*

  41. Taking a Chance on Love

  42. The Year I Learned to Love my Brother (TYILTLMB)*

  43. The Reynolds Twins*

  44. Tommy Boy #Part two of a series

  45. To the Max

  46. Tracy*

  47. Trick or Treet Dress Up

  48. Tween to Teen*

  49. What a Dollar Will Buy

  50. It's Amazing What Sex Can do for a Guy (as smoothoperator52)