Date: Thu, 4 Feb 2021 12:53:48 -0600 From: Billy Wright Subject: Us, For You (Final Chapter) This story is fiction, based on real events, but fiction. This is the final part of Us, For You. Everything you've read has come down to this. Are you ready? Well, here. We. Go. (I'm a college student so you'll have to forgive me if I don't upload that often). If you'd like to talk to me about anything, here is my email: billy.alexander.wright@gmail.com -------------------------------- -------------------------------- *** Characters *** *Alex - Me (16) *Chris - My brother and friend (18) *Minakami - Japanese boy, kind, daring and helpful (16) *Ekrem - Turkish boy, warm, caring and sweet (18) *Baruk - Ekrem's boyfriend (17) *James - The golden-haired boy (16) -------------------------------- -------------------------------- *** Part 4, Finale *** Skyscraper Constellations 5 (New York) My heart was beating out of control, my breathing was heavy, uneven and paused. My legs couldn't stay still, no matter how hard I tried, forcing me to walk in circles over the sidewalk. Besides, every few seconds I was taking my phone out of my pocket just check the time. It was official: I was nervous. I looked at my hands, they were trembling a little, not like a lot like in the movies but more like taking a deep breath that doesn't end up giving you air. Finally, after a millennia of me waiting, the door opened. Minakami stepped out of the hotel he and his father were staying at. His face, usually lit up as if he had a personal sun, was deeply submerged in a shadow of caution. He didn't seem angry or sad or fearful, only cautious. I had not been able to sleep all night. It had been an excellent day, one of -if not the- greatest day ever but when I found Minakami's note... something inside my mind broke, a downward spiral that consumed my thoughts and my time, making me think, then overthink, then making me feel bad for overthinking. In the end, I decided to send him a text. He gave me the address of his hotel and we both agreed to meet at 6:00 am, right when his father was getting ready for the conference and my family was still asleep. Time had gone by so painfully slow and so unbelievably fast at the same time that, by the time I was there and he started walking towards me, I froze. All the words I had planned and rehearsed where now gone and, for a hurtful, infinite second, we just stood there, face to face, in silence. He and I. "What do you mean?" That was the first thing that came out of my mouth. "Why did you write that note? Are you in love with me or...?" Minakami took a step back, overwhelmed by the storm of questions I was throwing at him. "I... well, me... I..." he hesitated for a second. "I'm not in love with you. It's more like... dude, I don't believe you can fall in love with someone just like that, before dating someone, I mean that is what dating is for: to find out if you are in love with someone. So no, I'm not in love with you." "Not in love," I raised my hands, even more confused than I was before. "Then what were you trying to say with that note?" "That we should give it a shot," Minakami let his eyes fall to the ground. "That's what I was trying to say: we should at least try, you know?" "You just said you are not in love with me." "I'm not, love is such a strong emotion. Love takes months if not years to properly develop. What I'm saying is... I like you, I find you attractive, I enjoy being with you and, based on all that, I want to date you. I want to find out if we can truly fall in love with one another, if we can love each other. I don't know if that will be the cause but if you ask me... I think we have a pretty good chance." "What if we date and don't fall in love?" "Then, if we handle things with respect and care, we can go back to being friends. Then at least we tried. Even if we don't end up marrying, that doesn't mean it can't be special or good." I opened my mouth but found myself speechless. I was speechless! All my arguments, everything I was prepared to say was based on the fact that he was in love with me but if that wasn't the case then... "You do know I'm dating a guy, right?" Minakami raised his eyes, looking at me. Then, for just a second, he nodded. "James, yeah. He is the golden-haired boy from Prague. I remember but, just so we are clear, you told me about him right when my plane was landing in New York City. I didn't know about him." "But you still gave me the note." "It was with the bento boxes." "You could've taken it out!" I was screaming. I don't know why, I was confused and torn and lonely and scared and afraid but I was a teenager so, of course, it all came out as anger. "You could've torn it to pieces or put it in the trash, you could've done another thousand things instead of giving it to me. But you didn't." Minakami raised his shoulders. "But I didn't." I raised my hand towards my forehead but midway through the gesture I felt fake so my hand ended up raising itself weirdly into the sky which only made me get angrier so I just ended up lowering my head between my hands. "Why?" I asked him. "Why are you putting me in this position?" "This is not about putting you in any position, I..." "I finally had someone," I cut him. "You know? I had finally found someone and now you just come and make it all confusing and weird and... why? James is kind and a good guy. He is really into me. Not like Alexjei who only wanted to fuck me and not like Ekrem and Baruk who just wanted to live their lives. Not like you. He is not like you." I was furious, people on the street stopped and looked at me for a second, curious, and intrigued. I was making a scene. "Why?" Minakami opened his mouth but instead of words coming out, he let the air come in and turned it into a big sigh. "I..." he started but paused. "That's just how I feel, Alex. I think that you and I would be a great couple, you know? And yeah, it's been two years but, maybe the people we were back then weren't suited to date but maybe the people we are now... are." "Convenient," I let out. "That's just how I feel," he repeated. "And sorry but I don't believe in keeping shut what you feel." My hands went to my mouth, covering it. Then they went to my forehead. Was I crying? I wasn't sure, I felt like something metallic, heavy and cold, was being pressed against my chest. Suddenly, every building around us, tall and majestic, turned into an oppressive, encapsulating prison, trapping me under a ceiling of concrete and glass. I tried to breathe but it was hard. Minakami, motionless, was still there, standing in front of me, just looking at me. "Are you...?" "Piss off," I told him, turned around and left. *** It shouldn't have surprised me but, later that day when I met with Ekrem and Baruk, they were already filled in with the news. Not only those of the note but also those of the little scene I had made in front of Minakami's hotel that morning. We went to a Disney store, to the Met and the Rockefeller center. It was fun, I really enjoyed spending some time with them, I had been a whole year since I had last scene them but, still, that wasn't enough to take the conflict out of my mind. For a second night in a row, I wasn't able to sleep. *** I was nervous to meet with James and his family once again. Yet, that day, we had all agreed to meet in the morning for a nice breakfast. Like last time, my mind took me elsewhere and I was unable to follow the conversation. I guess I was visibly off because James came near me. "Are you okay?" His voice gave away how concerned he was. "You haven't eaten." I looked down at my plate, it was true. "I hadn't noticed." But James wasn't the only one who noticed me, Chris was very obviously looking at me from time to time, as if he was getting ready for me to explode. I gave out a big sigh and forced myself to eat. After finishing I said I wasn't feeling very well so I asked my parents if I could go back to the hotel. After making sure I wasn't dying or sick they agreed but James' mom suggested I should go to her department instead, have a quiet evening. I asked my parents and they gave me permission, they even allowed James to join me. On the way, he asked me if I wanted to go to a wax museum. I really didn't see the point of wax museums to be honest, they were expensive, had nothing to do with local culture and relied more in popularity than anything else. I said no but James insisted. "You really want to go, right?" I asked James, curious. He nodded. "I like it, yeah. Plus, it may improve your mood." "Okay," I smiled. "Let's go, it may be fun." It wasn't but it was nice to see James smile and be so radiant and happy. Two hours later we entered his apartment. It was empty and I still wasn't feeling great so I suggested we should watching a movie so we both went online, chose a random film and sat down. That was enough. "I'm hungry," he said all of a sudden, pausing the film. "Let's order something." "I have an idea," I said standing up, pulling him from the hands to make him stand in front of me. "What if instead of ordering something, you and I cook. Eh? How does that sound? We can put on some music, get and apron, the whole thing, it would be a classic rom-com scene." "Why do you want to cook?" He asked, curious, looking me in the eyes. "We can always order. Don't you love food?" "I really like eating food, yeah, but creating it can also be fun. Come on, let's try at least. Okay? I promise you, we can cook something you like." James looked at me, unconvinced. "What if I just watch from here?" "Oh, let's try it, come on." "But..." "Today I went to that wax museum even though I didn't want to but we ended up having a fun time, didn't we? Maybe that too can happen here." James seemed to think it for a second and, just as I was sure he was going to agree he said. "Sorry, I really don't want to. But we should go to the museum again some other time, we really didn't see it all." I was about to protest but decided against doing it. "Okay," I said. "It doesn't matter, I'll cook for the both us." "Oh," James looked at me. "You don't have to cook, really." "But I want to," I replied sincerely. "I've always liked it when I manage to prepare a dish from another country and I don't know, it feels good when other people enjoy your food. Maybe I can make us some ramen, I learned that in Japan, and it can go with Turkish tea, it..." "Or maybe a hamburger of something?" James interceded. "It doesn't all have to be foreign." I gave him a quizzical look with a smile. "Yesterday you had a hamburger and the day before that pizza. When was the last time you ate ramen or drank Turkish tea?" James didn't have an answer so he just turned around. "You can cook whatever makes you the happiest," he said but just when I thought everything was settled he added. "But I can't promise you that I will eat it. I'm going to order something." "Oh, come on, I'm not a bad cook." "No promises, sorry. I'm not going to eat something I don't like." "I went to the museum for you, now you can..." "If you didn't want to go, then you shouldn't have. I'm not eating some fancy weird foreign food just because you want me to. Or did you just went to the museum to cash it later?" "It's not about that. It's... I compromised, okay? I did something for you, I didn't mind it because it was for you and that made it worth the while. If people ever only did what they wanted without taking in consideration what others want, no one would ever get along. Sometimes you have to compromise because this is no longer just you, this is us, okay?" "I don't like foreign food!" "But I do!" I shouted. "So let's find a middle point, okay? Fifty-fifty. Not one extreme or the other, just... a middle point. What do you say?" James looked at me, his face had never been so plain, so expressionless. He sighed and turned around. "You do what makes you happy, I'll do what makes me happy." I let my arms down, defeated. In the kitchen I started thinking about a solution. Was compromising really that bad? Of course I didn't want him to do something if he didn't want to; you have to think about your wellbeing first, but... if we never did things for others, things we don't necessarily enjoy, why bother meeting different people at all? Maybe that was the point of trying new things: learning to get comfortable with things you are not yet comfortable with. I was lost in thought. My mind wasn't taking me anywhere so I decided to cook something that James would like. Yes, I was still thinking about him. That is when an idea came to me. What if I prepared a pavlova? It was a meringue cake from Russia with lots of fruit and whipped cream, there was no way James wouldn't like it, right? I had only eaten it once before, it had been through an online cooking class I took a few months back with Minakami and... As I stood still, motionless, I felt the unbearable weight of a second passing through me, a movement in time crossing my chest painfully, slowly, as if nature itself was screaming. My mind became clear. Minakami had agreed to take that cooking class with me and, thought a videocall, we both spent that whole day cooking. I looked at the floor, suddenly realizing the truth. I walked toward James and kissed him full in the lips. Yeah, he excited me, the lust in me wanted him but when our lips touched... there wasn't much else there. Every time I kissed him... nothing. Not Ekrem's sugar, Baruk's fire or even Alexjei's cinnamon. Nothing. "I have to go," I said then, out of nowhere. James looked at me, puzzled. "You have to go? Where?" "I just have to go," I answered but soon realized that wasn't enough. "James..." I started. "I like you, I really do but... you are not my kind of special. You are. Special, I mean, just not my kind. I hope we can still be friends." He stood up, confused. "Are you leaving... me?" My eyes went to his, then to the floor, then to a space beyond both of us. "I think I am, yes." For some reason, that made me smile. "I'm sorry." He didn't even had a chance to say a thing, I was already gone. I had made a decision, one that, even if it didn't turn out to be the best one in the long run, it was a choice I had to make. I took out my phone and dialed a number. "Minakami," I whispered. See, the thing wasn't that Minakami enjoyed cooking and James didn't. No. In fact, Minakami didn't particularly liked cooking either. The thing was that Minakami had been more than willing to meet me halfway, to do things fifty-fifty, to compromise. He was willing to give in the relationship. Like a bank account, James took but wasn't willing to give much. Minakami, he gave as much as he took, maybe even more. He knew how to do things fifty-fifty but that was only the beginning. After that, I remember all the other things he did: the phone call in Suleyman's palace, the birthday he had prepared for me, the show we had at my house. Minakami had always been there. After three attempts, Minakami wasn't answering so I went for plan B: Ekrem. I stopped in the middle of the street, found a not-to-transited spot and called Ekrem. It didn't take long before his face appeared on the screen of my phone. "Alex?" He said after looking at me in the middle of the street. "What are you...?" "Has Minakami left?" I cut him, I didn't have much time. Ekreme seemed confused so I asked again. "Has Minakami left New York?" "No," he finally said. "His plane leaves in five hours." "Oh, thank God," I sighed and started walking towards Minakami's hotel, if he was still in the city with five hours left, then he was probably packing. "What is going on?" Ekrem asked, confused. "Weren't you with James?" "Oh," I got a little bit nervous. "I left James. Again. I know, that makes me an awful person but I think it was the right think but that doesn't matter know I just... I need to talk to Minakami before he leaves. He..." "Oh, this is about that little scene you made in front of his hotel?" I looked at the screen, surprised. "He told you about that?" "Hey, don't look too surprised, we are all friends, remember? You do you think he told if not you? Besides, he seemed like he needed to get that off his chest." "Damn," I looked away from the screen as I crossed a street. "So you know he..." "Is in love with you? Yeah, of course. Even before he told us, we knew. Not because it was obvious or anything like that, it's just that... I don't know, you two have always been close, relied on one another and made such a good time that it was just a matter of time before one of you realized you'd be a really cool couple. So yeah, of course we knew." "We?" I asked, one block away from Minakami's hotel. "Yes, we," answered Baruk appearing on the screen next to Ekrem. "But it's not only that, we also know that you are in love with him." That made me stop on my feet. "What?" "Yeah," Baruk continued. "Why else would you leave James, run through the street and call us out of nowhere asking if he has left yet? I mean, taking all that into account it's pretty obvious that you like him, isn't it?" I froze, I was already in front of Minakami's hotel but something was stopping me. Was I in love with Minakami? Or was it like he had said: you just can't fall in love that easily? I was confused so I took a second to breathe. The people passing by seemed to be concerned with their own lives, so busy to look at mine. It didn't bother me, everyone had their own little world inside their heads. "I don't know if I'm in love with him," I answered truthfully. Ekrem looked at me. "Then what are you doing? Why did you leave James then? Why do you want to talk to him?" I took a deep breathe. Act, don't think; act, don't think... "I don't know if I'm in love with him" I said, finally. "He told me that you can't fall in love with someone like that, and I think he is right. I have never dated him before, how could I ever be in love if I have never known him as a couple? There's no way to truly love him but... I don't know. I've been thinking about him and... well, when I was in Turkey and found out that you two had an open relationship he was the one who helped me open my mind about it. On my last birthday he was the one who gave me the biggest surprise of all and he even agreed to take a cooking class with me even when he doesn't like to cook." "Didn't you take a photograph class with him after that?" "That's precisely my point!" I almost shouted. "He did something for me and then I did something for me. Fifty-fifty. Compromise. We both did something just because it would make someone else truly happy. James... he can't do that." "So this is about James..." "No," I said, sighing. "James in an entirely other thing. This is about how when I need advice, Minakami is the first person I go to. When something special happens, Minakami is the one who celebrates it first and loudest. Even you too six months ago. When Baruk was mad with you... Minakami could've made a move on you, he once told me you were handsome and when you were in Japan he could've try to sleep with you, he had the chance but he chose not to. He... he is a pretty great guy, you know? I can't believe I didn't see it before." Ekrem and Baruk stayed there for a while, looking at me with smiles on their faces. "That's why you went all the way to his hotel?" I looked at the massive building behind me. "Is it crazy?" I asked. "Should I wait for him to go back to Japan and text him?" "Text him?" Ekrem almost faints. "Alex, haven't you learned a thing? Tell me, what's that thing you keep repeating all the time, you know, about prince charming?" I looked at the screen, smiling. "Prince Charming isn't just going to appear out of nowhere, you need to go out and get him." "What else?" "Seize Turkey," I said. "You should seize the chances you have. Live your life to the fullest, enjoy it." "Well, there's your answer." He said. "Go and get him. Seize it. Oh and, don't forget: the third one's the charm." "The third one? But I already called him three times and he didn't answer." I replied. "Well," Baruk leaned towards the screen with something in his hand, it was his phone. At first I didn't understand what I was supposed to be looking at but, after a few seconds, I saw the screen of Baruk's phone. He was in the middle of a phone call, one that had been going on since before I called Ekrem. The screen only read one word: Minakami. I blinked, confused. "Wait..." For I moment I didn't understand, wasn't able to so I just kept looking at them. "Does that mean that Minakami has..." "...been listening this whole time?" I heard a voice behind me. "Yeah, I was." I turned around and there, just leaving the building, was a Japanese boy holding a phone next to his head, a phone with the word "Baruk" showing up on the screen, signaling the fact that they were in deed in the middle of a phone call. I raised my eyes and looked at him. For some reason, Minakami looked as if he was about to cry, for what reason I didn't know. I tried to speak first. "You..." "...Heard everything you said about us?" Minakami took a step towards me, confident. "No, not at all. I only listened to a tiny part, you know, when you said that I'm the first person you seek when you need advice and that you really love the way I celebrate your achievements. Oh, and my favorite part, I heard when you said that we always do things we don't necessarily like just to make the other one happy." "Well..." My throat was dry. "We do, we always do that." "We are pretty great." He agreed but, for a quiet second, he looked down at his phone. "Guys, I'm hanging up, I think we need a moment." I looked at Ekrem and Baruk at my screen. "See you later." "Whatever you need, Alex," Ekrem said. "Remember: here we are. Us, for you." I hung up. For a second there, we just stood in front of the other, right in the middle of the busy streets of New York, waiting for the other. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, not at all, our eyes were locked together, patiently waiting. Then he smiled and, just with that small gesture, I knew everything was okay. "We would make a really great couple," I took a step towards me. "And it took you this long to notice it?" He took one towards me. "Hey, it wasn't that obvious," I replied. "I mean, for a second there I really thought I was going to end up with James, you know?" Minakami raised his sight. "Well, I must say that, out everyone, you were the only one who didn't foresee us ending up together." "Ekrem and Baruk only knew because you told them." "I wasn't talking about them," Minakami smiled as wide as I had ever seen him smile, God he looked so radiant under that light, that perfect hair of his, the way he dressed. "I meant Chris." "Chris?" That was a surprise. "Are you saying that Chris knew I was going to come here and, you know, reconsider us being a couple?" Minakami nodded. "I don't believe you, there's no way he..." Minakami put his hands on the edges of his jacket, showing it off. It was then that I recognized it: it was the letterman, the varsity jacket we had bought in Japan two years ago. "He gave it to me as a gift," Minakami said. "Two days ago, right after our little scene. He said... that you would come and find me. I wasn't so sure after the way you left but when you called Ekrem and I, well, I heard everything you said I..." I couldn't resist it any longer, I closed the last step between us and planted a kiss on his lips, joining them for the first time since all this story started. It was just as I remembered, it had everything: Ekrem's sugar, Baruk's fire, Alexjei's cinnamon, all in one kiss. "Hey," he said after parting our lips. "My father isn't in the room, do you want to..." I looked at him, smiling. "This is the first time we are officially dating and the first thing you want to do is take me to bed? I don't know if that's a good sign, maybe we should have a couple of dates and..." "Alex," he cut me. "I'm going back to Japan in five hours. I don't know when I'll see you again." "You are right, let's go." I didn't know how much I had missed seeing him like that, being with him like that. Both of us, wearing nothing but the sheets of the bed above us, his lips on mine and seeing that great smile of his. It was the best sex of my life. Not because of his technique or how good he was in bed but, because I really made love to him. He was someone I really cared for. As his plane left and that day ended, I couldn't help but notice all the buildings around me, the magnificent way in which the dots of light in every building burned like stars in the sky. Of course, they weren't in the sky, they were in the skyscrapers. I looked at those man-made stars, mesmerized by all the skyscraper constellations they formed. Yeah, after that he went back to Japan but that wasn't the end of it. We went to a lot of virtual dates, usually we saw a movie together or ordered something fancy. One of my favorite long-distance date ideas is when he ordered something surprise for me and I something surprise for him. Ekrem and Baruk where happy for us, they even suggested we should do a double date and even a foursome. We said no, of course. Chris was excited to, he congratulated us although he was angry for the way I had abandoned James at his house that day. After a while I apologized to him and, a few months later, we even became friends, he even joined our group chat with Ekrem, Baruk, Minakami and me. What is going to happen next? I have no idea, Minakami is a great guy and, after having been dating him for a while, I can safely say I am in love with him. It is weird because I fell for him almost immediately but, just when I thought I was in love I found out that I was capable of falling even deeper in love. Then, I fell even more and then more. It was like... every time I thought my love for him had maxed, the ceiling grew and I found myself falling for him even more. I'm planning on starting college outside of my home country as is Minakami, with some luck we may end up going to the same university. Who knows? I just know that, I was glad to be there with him but, if it hadn't been for Turkey, for Czech Republic, for New York and especially for Japan, I wouldn't have become the person I am now. Ekrem, Baruk, James, Minakami, Chris and even Alexjei. They were there for me. They, for me. "Us, for you," as Ekrem had said. The End. ------------- ------------- So? What did you think? Did it end as you expected? Thoughts? See, if you are reading this, then you clearly found something in this story (I mean, it is the final part of an 18ish part series) so your opinion and thoughts would be greatly valued. Anything you want to comment, please don't hesitate to write me to: billy.alexander.wright@gmail.com Oh, and I have another story in case you want to check it out: STARBOY in the Young-Friends section: http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/starboy