Date: Sun, 19 May 2013 11:09:40 +1200 From: bob charles Subject: Washed Up (Gay / Young friends) chapter 3 Washed Up. Disclaimer: Warning: this story contains sexual content, contact between young boys, and other themes that may offend. If the subject matter offends you, is not to your tastes, or if you are under legal age for your area, then find something else to read. In the following story all names and events are completely fictional. Although I may mention a specific location, place, or person any resemblance to said people, location, or places is completely unintentional. Chapter 3: "Josh, are you still awake?" Pierre asks. He is a bit bothered that I am continuing to try and hide something from him. He already knows about it, but is wondering why I still haven't said anything to him about it. *** "Josh! Josh! Come back to earth will you." Mum says to me snapping me back to reality. I am dazed and confused, as I am abruptly brought back to what I am trying to get away from. Strangely I am not feeling as depressed at the moment. Reliving the happy times is helping, but the longer I spend back in the real world, the quicker I will slip back into the vast black hole I had been in earlier. "If you want something to eat and drink you better come in. Also wake up Callum and ask him if he wants anything." Mum says, seeing me come back to life. With that she un-belts herself and gets out of the car. I look around. We are now in Kawakawa, outside of a dairy. I start to try and wake my brother up. He isn't very happy when he does wake. I know the feeling, as I am feeling the same way. ************ Callum is about to start throwing a hissy fit, after having been so rudely woken. I know that I am going to have to quickly calm the situation before he starts becoming uncontrollable. I have learnt from experience that Callum has a mean temper on him, especially when he has just been woken up. I undo my seatbelt and shuffle up next to him. I give him a friendly hug, and just sit there until I feel his body start to relax. "Mum wants to know, if you want anything from the shop?" I say to my little brother. He is still drowsy so I know it is going to take a little while for him to understand what I have just said. I don't put any pressure on him. As far as I am concerned mum can wait until we are ready. I am willing to wait for Callum, so she can wait for us. "Yeah... Can you get me lemonade?" Callum groggily replies, eventually. I nod my head, and hug him tighter. Then I release him to follow mum into the shop. Mum is looking impatient as I enter. `Screw her' I think to myself. I go over to the chillers which contain the drinks and grab two lemonades. Then I have a quick look through the store to see whether anything else catches my fancy. Nothing does so I take the drinks to mum who was waiting at the counter. I just put the drinks on the counter, not saying a word to mum. Once mum has paid, I take the drinks and walk back out of the shop. I get back into the car and hand Callum his drink. I unscrew the bottle top from my lemonade, and pretty much scull the whole drink. I didn't realise how thirsty I was till then. Mum is already back inside the car, and we are on the road again. The gases slowly build up in my stomach after having sculled my drink so fast, and as a result I release a big burp. Callum bursts out laughing, while the sip he has just taken from his drink comes snorting out his nose. That causes me to laugh. "Cut that crap out, and behave yourselves. You two are not five years old anymore, so stop acting like it." Mum says angrily from the driver's seat. We abruptly stop laughing, and start to sulk. She can be a real bitch at times. Callum finishes his drink, and promptly falls back asleep. I am pretty sure that he will sleep for the whole trip. However long the trip is going to be, as I have no idea where we are going, as mum hasn't told us. With Callum asleep, and me still pissed off at mum, I go back into my trance remembering my time with Pierre. *** "Yeah I'm still awake. What's up Pierre?" I reply back to the sexy French boy who is lying on the mattress. I think that he might have been a little scared of my mum. Especially after she caught us in the bathroom and freaked out. The worst part is that it was all completely innocent, but I know mum won't listen, so I not even going to bother trying to defend us. "Why do you keep getting changed in the toilet? If it's because you are embarrassed by your little problem, then don't be. I know what your problem is and it doesn't worry me. I won't make fun of you for it. I am just wondering as to why you didn't tell me is all." Pierre says. His French accented voice sounds sincere and friendly, as he really doesn't want to upset me. It takes a little while to cotton on to what he is referring too, as I thought that I had hidden my big secret really well. I freak out when I know that he has somehow found out about my secret. "You know that I... Uhh... Wet the bed. But how? Who told you?" I stammer, as I am losing control of my emotions. My embarrassment at having been found out is too much for me to bear. I start bawling my eyes out, as I am really ashamed that at the age of 12 I am still bedwetting. It is my secret shame that I had really hoped no one would ever find out about. I am also starting to look for someone to blame, as I don't think that Pierre could have worked it out by himself. Someone must have told him, but whom? I know that Callum won't, he loves me too much. It has to be mum, but then again she had warned me to tell him about it earlier. `Damn her.' I think to myself. "No one told me anything, so don't worry about that. If you really wanted to keep it a secret then you should have found better pyjamas, as those flimsy summer ones you wear don't hide your diaper very well. Also I noticed some in the rubbish bin in the bathroom, when I put the packaging from the toothbrush in there. I'm not going to stop liking you for it, as I know how you feel. I used to wet the bed too, but I managed to stop almost two years ago." Pierre explains to me. It doesn't help a lot, as I am still crying, like the little baby I feel like. Pierre hops off the mattress and jumps onto my bed beside me. He gently hugs me and strokes my bare back. As we lie there I start to finally comprehend what he has said to me. The electric feelings he is giving me help a lot to get my mind back in gear. I calm down a little after realising that he used to be a bed wetter too. The worst part for me is that I haven't always wet the bed. I had stopped that by the age of 3, but I started back up again just under two years ago. It sucks having to wear diapers every night, like a baby, but I can't help it. It just isn't my fault. "I'm sorry, I should have told you. My sister keeps giving me shit about being a diaper wearing baby, and I didn't want you to think the same thing. I was too scared to tell you. I'm so sorry, as I know that I should have trusted you." I say sobbing. I am hoping that he will forgive me, as I know that it is something that I should never have tried to hide from him in the first place. Especially since he is now staying with us and is also sleeping in my room. I also slept on his mattress. It is something that should have been common courtesy. "There is no need to apologise, as I understand why you were too embarrassed to mention it. But yes, you should know that you can trust me with things like that. But I didn't know that you had a sister, will I get to meet her?" Pierre replies. In my emotional state I don't realise that I have accidently mentioned my sister. She is someone that I try not to bring up. I am now ruing what I have just said, but know I will have to elaborate, as he isn't just going to let it slide. "Yeah I have a sister. Her name is Sarah, but she doesn't live with us. She is living in Auckland with my ogre of a grandmother. We don't see eye to eye, in fact she blames me for everything. Put simply we both hate each other's guts. Because of me being here she decided not to join in the witness protection program that we are in, as a result we never see her. The only contact we have with her is when mum rings her. I don't talk to her anymore, as when I used to it always ended up in a big argument, and me in tears." I explain to Pierre. I can see that he is wondering what could have happened that is so terrible that it has split up our family, but this time he knows not to push it. When I feel the time is right I will tell him the rest, but at the moment I just can't handle it. I am in tears again remembering my sister, and Pierre hugs me tighter sensing my change in mood. My sister and I have never been the best of siblings, but we still used to have fun together. Well as much as our age difference would allow it, as she is 4 years older than me. As she is the oldest she used to get spoilt rotten, when I came along nothing changed in that aspect. But our relationship very quickly deteriorated about two years ago, and now we can't stand each other. She really does blame me for everything. Having Pierre's naked torso comforting me works wonders. He is just so warm, and friendly that all my bad memories soon melt into oblivion. I wish at this stage that I could experience what it's like to sleep naked, but from fear of soaking the bed, I know it isn't a good idea. I really would like to lie there naked with Pierre, as it just seems like such a natural thing to do. The other problem with that idea, is as to what mum would do if she caught us. I am a bit worried about mum catching us now, especially after the bathroom incident. I am going to warn Pierre that he probably should get back into his own bed, but he is already fast asleep. I also never get around to it. I blink, and the next time I open my eyes the sun is casting a blue glow into our room, through the blue curtains. I am staring straight into Pierre's deep hazel coloured eyes. His eyes are filled with character, but also show someone who has been through far more than a boy his age should have. The loss of both his parents is clearly visible as you looked in his eyes and down to his soul. But at the same time they show a boy who is suddenly full of happiness and love. I hope my eyes show the same thing to him. I give him a warm smile at seeing him awake. "Good morning. This is going to sound strange, but after sleeping with you the last two nights I have not only had the best sleeps I have had in a long time. But I have also woken up dry. Maybe you're the miracle cure I have been looking for." I whisper hoarsely to my sexy French boyfriend. He gives me a proud smile after hearing that I have been dry the last two nights, and he is about to respond. I don't let him. I kiss him instead. I want him to know how much I really do love him, and how thankful I am that he is around. He doesn't need to say anything to me, as I know what he is going to say. A kiss really did seem to be the most appropriate way to say thanks. Oh how amazing the kiss feels. I never want it to end. But I don't want to still be here when mum wakes up, and least of all do I want either her or Callum to see us kissing. Begrudgingly I end the kiss, and get out of bed. I walk straight over to my chest of drawers and open them up. I pull out the last pair of league shorts that I have in there, which I had somehow overlooked last night. It is my blue ones. I throw them over to Pierre, who is still lying naked on the bed where I had left him. I then grab some shirts from both of us, and my grey and black board shorts. "Put those on, and then follow me. We need to get out of here before mum wakes up." I whisper to Pierre. He quickly pulls the shorts on, and hops out of bed to follow me. I feel a little guilty as I hate ditching my little brother like this. But he is still sound asleep, and I can't afford to wait for him to wake up, as mum will be up by then. I also want more time with just Pierre and me. I don't bother to get changed as it will waste too much time. I will just have to find a way to discard my diaper later. We sneak out of the bedroom, and I close the door again behind us. Then we creep through the house. I kind of feel like I'm a burglar, who is trying to steal something valuable from inside a house, while the owners are still at home. Finally we make it through the house to the front door. We have to go through the front door, as the ranch slider out the back will make too much noise when I open it. Gently I pull the door handle down, and as quietly as I can I pull the door open. Thank god we had got sick of the squeaking the door used to make, and sprayed it with CRC. The door opens silently now as a result, and we quickly scoot through it. Then I close it back up, almost as quietly as I had opened it. We are free. We stand just outside the front door for a moment. I'm just in my pale blue PJ's, and Pierre is dressed just in his blue rugby league shorts. I take a moment as I have to think about where we can go. We can't go back to the bush we have been using, as mum had almost stumbled on us. I also know that we have to stay close to the house, just encase someone comes to talk to Pierre. The only place which is secluded enough that I can think of is in the next door neighbour's yard, as they only use the house when they are on holiday, so I know that they are not there at the moment. So I run around the house towards the sand dunes, Pierre follows a couple of steps behind me. Once at the base of the dunes I turn left, and we run around the fence into the neighbour's section. There section is perfect, as they have planted lots of trees and bushes. There are plenty of private hiding spots available, meaning the chances of us getting caught are pretty slim. Unless of course we make too much noise, but we haven't been caught yet so noise mustn't be an issue. I choose a nice cosy spot, which has a nice amount of lawn but bushes pretty much all around it. The spot looks perfect. We head to the spot, and Pierre lies down. I decide to get changed first, well I should say unchanged. I am sick of wearing the diaper, as now that I am outside, the humidity is causing me to sweat profusely in it. I drop my PJ bottoms to the ground and step out of them. Pierre finally realises what I am doing, and watches me in expectation. It is strange to think that we were both naked in the bathroom together yesterday, but yet Pierre still hasn't really seen my prick. He had other things to concentrate on at the time, and we never got a chance for him to clean me. The diaper is one of those one's with an elastic waistband, to make them feel more like underwear. As I'm about to pull down my diaper I start to get nervous, as I have never deliberately got naked in front of anyone, except for my brother at bath time. I take a deep breath, and pull the diaper down, exposing myself completely to Pierre. Pierre gasps as my diaper comes down, and he gets his first real look at my package. There isn't much to see, as I haven't started to develop yet. But Pierre isn't concerned with the size, or lack of. He thinks that it was the most gorgeous thing he has ever seen. My small thin prick hangs at about 1 ½ inches, with my foreskin adding about another ¼ of an inch. So it isn't very big at all. It is a pale white colour, due to the lack of sun it sees. My small ball sack is a little darker than my prick, but it still hugs tight to my body. It holds my marble sized balls comfortably inside it. I can see Pierre licking his lips as he stares at my little package. I am so glad that he is happy with it. I kick my diaper away and just stand there for a bit staring at Pierre. I am also doing it to allow him as good a look as he wants. Pierre sits up, then reaches and takes hold of my hands. He then pulls me down on top of him, and starts kissing me furiously. It just feels so good, and soon I am kissing him just as passionately. Our tongues are entwined together, and we are both enjoying the tastes and smells of the other. I love the sweet perfume Pierre's body produces, as it wafts up my nose. And I love the taste of him as I kiss him. Our bodies are quickly pouring out the sweat even though we are under the shade of a large tree, and I am starting to slide off Pierre's slick body. What makes it feel even more magical is that for the first time I am naked while kissing him. I want to feel both our naked bodies together, so that I can share the magical experience with Pierre. I break the kiss, and slide down his body. I take a hold of the waistband of his shorts, and start to pull them down and rip them off. Pierre helps me do this by lifting his butt, and then his legs. Once his shorts are totally removed I lie back on top of him, and return back to kissing him. Wow, it feels even more amazing than it did before. Our kissing is getting even hotter, as a result. We just can't get enough of each other. Our naked torsos are sliding along each other. And knowing that our dicks are pretty much lying together makes it even sexier. I start to get this strange feeling emanate from my crotch. It is a sort of tingly feeling, but I still don't know what it really means. I am feeling Pierre's prick though, as it seems to be hard and stabbing into me. The movement of our sweaty naked bodies sliding against each other is making the feelings getting generated from my crotch seem to increase in intensity. Those intense feelings are scaring me again, as I still don't know why I keep getting them. "Pierre, the search and rescue guy is here to see you." The high pitch voice of my brother yells. Our make out session is over, and we are both feeling really gutted about it. I slide off Pierre and lay in the long grass beside him. Pierre stands up, and looks down at me. His eyes are fixed to my crotch, so I look down to see what he is looking at. To my surprise I am hard. I don't remember ever seeing myself hard before. Due to bedwetting I never get a piss boner in the morning. Otherwise I really don't think that I have ever had an erection while not wearing clothes until now. Of course I remember boning up yesterday, but I never got a chance to see it. It is about 2 inches long, but my foreskin has withdrawn right back and is exposing my glistening cherry red glands. I look up at Pierre, seeing that his dick is standing at its full 2 ¼ inches, so I give him a big smile. "Pierre, where are you?" Callum yells again. I can tell from the direction of his voice that he is on the sand dunes, heading towards the beach. I know that we had better hurry up, or my brother will look all over the beach and then town for us. I stand up and head over to where I have dropped the clothes that I have bought for us. I pick up my board shorts and pull them on, taking one last long look at my first boner. I am so happy with it. Pierre has also pulls on his shorts, so I throw him a shirt to put on too. It is just a plain yellow polo shirt, but he looks good in it. I pull on a plain blue tee shirt, and then gather up my PJ bottoms and diaper. I decide to hide them beside the fence, and I will come back when it is safe to get rid of them. Then we walk over the dunes to make it look like we have been on the beach. It doesn't quite work as we walk straight into Callum as we get to the beach. He knows that we have been in the neighbour's yard, as that is the only place we could have been given the direction we have arrived from. I think he may suspect that we have been up to something. Given the way we are both still sweating and flushed red in the face I'm not particularly surprised. Callum is looking a bit nervous, so I know he wants more than to just let Pierre know that the search and rescue guy is here for him. "Pierre, I think the search and rescue guy has some important news for you. Um... Josh can I have a talk with you? Please!" Callum says almost urgently at the end. Pierre quickly runs off back to the house, leaving Callum and I alone. Callum is starting to look really nervous, which is rubbing off on me, as I am starting to feel the same way. I sit down on the golden sand at the base of the dunes, and pull Callum down beside me. I sit there quietly just waiting for him to ask whatever it is that he wants to know. "Joshy, why is mum so angry with you and Pierre? What happened last night?" Callum asks shyly. I can now see that he is just as much worried, as he is nervous. He is worried about what mum is going to do with us, as he hasn't seen her this mad, ever. "I was washing him, like I do for you. You know how you get a stiffie when I clean your little dickie. Well Pierre had the same thing happen. Mum walked in while I was washing his stiffie." I answer. His look tells me that he understands, but he was also a bit confused. "Isn't Pierre too old for you to be washing him too? Callum asks timidly. He is still nervous making me wonder what else is on his young mind. "Yeah he is. But you're too old for me to still be cleaning you too. Sometimes it's just nice to have someone else do it for you." I reply. Callum understands what I am meaning, as he looks forward to when I clean him. It just feels so much better than when he cleans himself. He also feels cleaner as a result, so he knows why I helped Pierre clean himself. But it doesn't explain why mum is so angry with us. "I understand. But I still don't know why mum would get so mad about that." Callum says. We sit in silence for a couple of minutes, but it can see Callum's brain still churning away. He starts to look really nervous again, so I am really starting to wonder what he is thinking about. "Um Josh... Do you like Pierre...? You know, um... in a way that is more than just friends?" Callum stutters. I now understand why he is so nervous. He must have noticed how close we have become, despite my best efforts to try and hide it. It turns out he has noticed that I spend as much time alone with Pierre as I can, which in itself isn't strange but the fact we always seem to hide is what Callum notices. He also notices we always come back sweating and looking a little flustered, like we have been doing something that we shouldn't be doing. So Callum managed to put two and two together. My face flushes red in embarrassment, as this was not what I had wanted Callum to find out. I am scared that he is going to hate me for it, but I can't lie to him. "Yes Callum. I do like Pierre in a way that goes beyond friendship. That is why mum got so angry, as she doesn't like how close me and Pierre have become." I answer my little bro. I let out a huge sigh at having been found out by him. I am really scared that he is going to flip out. I prepare myself for it, as it is all I can really do. I really don't want to lose my little brother, as he is the only family that I still have. Well that I care about anyway. "Does that mean you're gay?" Callum asks me shyly. It is almost like he is a little scared of the word. But he hasn't run away from me yet, so I am sort of happy at that. "Yes Callum, I am gay. Please don't tell anyone, as it would be the end of me if you did. Kids at school seem to be scared of gay kids so pick on them all of the time." I say getting a little defensive and starting to feel really uptight. I am really hoping that my little bro won't tell all his friends. The fact that he is still sitting beside me is a good sign. It at least means that he doesn't hate me for it. "Don't worry I won't tell anyone. I never told anyone about you wetting the bed, so why would I tell people this...? Um... does you being gay, mean that you are going to be like those gay guy's you see on TV? You know the ones. They sort of look and act more like girls." Callum says nervously. I almost burst out laughing at his naivety, but I know that would have been the worst thing to do. So I somehow manage to contain myself. His little kid questions are so cute at times, even if it shows how little he knows about the real world. "Callum, not all gay people are like those guys. Most are just normal people. You probably wouldn't notice half the gay people that you see. So no, I won't become like them. I will still be your loving, caring older brother." I say to him, emphasising that I won't change just because I am gay. He gives me a big smile hearing that. "That's good, coz those guys scare me. They drive me nuts." He replies, with obvious relief in his voice. He is still looking nervous like he is still contemplating something. I am just glad he is still by my side, but still worried he is upset with me about it. "Callum, you're not upset and ashamed of me are you?" I ask timidly. I'm not sure that I want to know the answer, but it is eating me up inside. "What...? No, why would I be?" He replies from the bottom of his heart. I am so thrilled to hear him say that, and embrace him in the biggest hug. I also plant of few kisses on his cheeks, which he quickly wipes off and pretends to be disgusted. I know that he enjoys it so his reaction doesn't offend me. His little brain still seems to be churning away, and so I let him go and just wait for him to continue. "Joshy, am I gay? Because I like it when you hug and kiss me. I also love it when you give me a bath, and clean my dickie." Callum asks eventually. He is even shyer now, and his voice is so quiet that I almost can't hear him. Again I have to try everything to stop myself from laughing. He misreads things all the time. "No Callum, you are probably not gay. But you are still too young to be worrying about that yet. When you get older you will know whether you are gay or not. What you like at the moment, is having a brother who loves and adores you so much. It has nothing to do with being gay. It is more that you enjoy being really loved by someone. And I love it when you hug me too, because you make me feel important, and loved." I say to him. He leaps at me and gives me a huge hug. I must have told him what he wanted to hear. At least I stopped him worrying about things that he has no control over, and is too young to fully understand. "Thank you for that. I am happy for you, as since Pierre has been here you have been the happiest I have ever seen you." Callum whispers in my ear. He is hugging me for dear life. I don't know why, I just think that he is really happy about everything we have just talked about. I give him a hug in return and plant a couple more smooches on his cheeks. He doesn't wipe them off this time, just enjoys it. He hugs me for ages. I am starting to wonder as to whether he is ever going to let me go. "Oh shit. Um Pierre might need you, as the guy didn't look like he had good news to say. He was looking rather stern and not smiling." Callum tells me, as he releases me from his embrace. I am not too concerned with Callum's judgement as I have seen lots of officials before, and they never seem to smile. But I know he is right and that I should go see him, just encase he gets some bad news. Callum just sits there and watches me go. He knows that he will just be in the way, and if Pierre is going to need anyone it will be me. I love my sweet little brother when he is so thoughtful, which is most of the time. I feel a little guilty about ditching him again, but he is right and I need to be with Pierre. And if he gets bad news I will need to be alone with him. I scramble over the dunes and run towards our house. I don't make it as mum is waiting for me. She has something that she needs to say. "Joshua Walter Smith, get your arse over here now! We need to have a chat. Pierre is still talking with the search and rescue co-ordinator so don't you interrupt them." Mum yells at me. Her voice is angry and menacing. She has also used my full name, so I know this is going to get ugly. I really am not in the mood for this, and am really hoping that she will just go away. "What the fuck do you want?" I say back, as I feel my blood start to boil. Her face gets even redder with that reply. I can see her anger boiling over. This is going to get ugly real quick, because neither of us is in a good enough mood for any civilised conversation. "Don't you dare speak to me like that! I want to tell you that from now on, I don't want you and Pierre anywhere near each other unless I am there with you. Do you understand me?" She snarls. I can't believe what she is trying to make me do. It isn't going to happen, not in my lifetime. That might only be for a couple more minutes with how this conversation is going so far, but it still doesn't mean that I'm going to listen to her. "Fuck you! I'm going to spend time with Pierre whether you like it or not. You can go fuck yourself if you think that I'm going to stop loving Pierre just coz you don't like it." I snarl back to her. My anger is totally out of control because I really can't believe how pig headed my mum is being. Now I am in it, as I have just admitted to how I truly feel about Pierre. The moment is so heated that I didn't concentrate enough on what I said. Mum is now steaming. Smoke is almost billowing out her ears. She can't handle the way I am talking back to her. But what is worse is that I just admitted to loving Pierre. She really can't handle that. "You are not. I repeat, not in love with Pierre. I forbid it. If you think that I raised you to be some gay weirdo pansy you have another thing coming. You will not see Pierre in that way again. Otherwise watch out." Mum screams at me. That is it. I am on the verge of really losing it now. How dare she say something like that? Who the fuck does she think she is? Does she really think that she is god or something? "Get fucked you fucking bitch! I was gay long before Pierre showed up in my life. If you can't handle me being gay then go fuck yourself. I love Pierre and you can't do anything to stop it. He has made me feel the happiest I have ever felt before. You're a complete and utter wanker if you are going to try and stop me being happy. Maybe if you were a better mother then you would understand." I yell at her. I'd had enough of her bullshit. She'd had enough too, and she slaps me across the face. "What the fuck? You're no better than my wanker of a father, you fucking whore!" I scream. I really can't believe that the bitch just hit me. I never even saw it coming. It was totally out of the blue, as she has never hit me before in anger. I am now bawling my eyes out, and quickly run away from her. I burst through the door into our house and run to my room. Pierre is already there, lying on my bed with his face buried in my pillow. He is bawling his eyes out too. I quickly realise that he has bigger issues than I do. So I go over to my bed, and lie down with him. I give him a warm comforting hug, while wiping the tears from my eyes. Then I gently stroke his back, trying to ease the obvious pain he is feeling. Mum just stands there numbly, watching me run away. She is in shock as she can't believe what she has just done. We have had lots of very heated arguments before, but this was the first time she has resorted to hitting me. As the guilt washes over her, she starts trembling and feeling weak in the knees. She collapses on the ground and starts hugging herself. She feels really guilty and horrible, which results in her bawling her eyes out. She can't contain her emotions anymore. How did this all come about? Why can't she just be happy for me? Why can't she just accept it and get on with life? The questions just kept swirling around in her head. The worst part is that she doesn't have an answer for any of them. Pierre is really down and out. I know that he has been delivered some terrible news. He is crying so hard that I can clearly see a damp patch on my pillow from his tears. It doesn't bother me. My only concern is getting Pierre to grieve properly, so that he copes better with what has happened. I lie there still trying to comfort him, just hugging him and stroking his back. We are like that for ages. Hey I have no better place to be. I cannot face my mum again, not after what she did. I also want to be here for Pierre despite what mum told me. Pierre needs me, and I need him. There are no two ways about it. "Josh do you have a dad, because I don't anymore...? They found his body washed up somewhere called Cape Brett... They wanted me to go to the morgue... to formally identify him... But I just couldn't... They showed me a photo instead... It was dad." Pierre blubbers eventually breaking the silence. He looks over to me as he says this. I don't answer him, as I know he doesn't want me to say anything. I nod my head to let him know that my dad is still alive, but that is all I do. I hug him tighter and just wait for him to continue. I know he has more that he wants to tell me. "Oh, so you don't know what it's like then...? Losing your mum or dad I mean. In less than two years I have somehow lost both." Pierre continues. His crying increases in intensity again, as he relives the deaths of his parents. I lie there patiently waiting for him to tell me. I know that he needs to get the burden of his mother's death off his chest. But I'm not going to push him, as I will ruin things if I do. He is far too fragile at the moment, and any wrong move will be disastrous. "It was April 24. The day was a warm mid spring day, as the cold of winter had gone. But the heat of summer was still around the corner. Mum had decided to take me on a road trip to go and see the Pont du Gard. It is a three tiered ancient Roman aqueduct in the south of France. It is an impressive structure standing 50m above the river below. It sits about 26km west of my home town, Avignon, but I had never seen it till that day. We drove out there early in the morning, and spent the morning enjoying the sight. We headed back home around midday. Mum was a stickler for safety, as she always made me sit in the passenger's side of the backseat. Even when it was only her and me in the car, she made me sit in the back. Until a couple of months before that day, mum had also insisted that I sit in a child booster seat." Pierre sobs. His crying makes it hard for me to understand him at first, so I miss the date which he had said. I just hope that it won't be too important. I don't know whether what he is telling me has a point to it or not, but I am not going to interrupt. I just let him say what he wants to say, and just listen intently. I am wondering whether his ramblings are to delay having to tell me the hard part, or whether it is actually important to the story. Either way the Pont du Gard does sound interesting, maybe Pierre and I can see it together sometime. "We were on our way home. I was so happy in the backseat, as it had been a truly wonderful morning with mum. She was also taking me to see the walled city in Avignon, as well as some of the other sights around there. At the same time some English tourist who had been drinking at a pub in Avignon all night and well into the morning, decided he wanted to see the Pont du Gard. So he got in his rented car and started driving towards the Pont du Gard. He had decided that he wanted to see it that day, whether he was pissed or not." Pierre bawls his eyes out again. I know where this story is going now, and I am feeling really upset for Pierre. I still silently comforted him, as it still isn't my turn to say anything. He needs to get it all off his chest. "We were only 2km out from the city... when we saw him. He must have seen us... as mum always drives with her headlights on. Even during the middle of the day in summer, she would still have her lights on. He claims... that he dropped his cigarette. I don't know. All I remember is that he suddenly swerved into our lane... Mum couldn't do anything... The noise from the impact was horrendous. The worst noise I have ever heard in my life, and I never want to hear it again. It was dreadful." Pierre is losing it. He is now starting to shake uncontrollably, but he wants to finish telling me. I'm not sure whether it is such a good idea, but I am helpless to stop him. He does take a much needed breather, before he continues. "I was knocked unconscious... but I still remember... a chunk of metal flying above my head before I blacked out... It missed me by inches. If I had of still been using a booster seat then... I would be with mum now. When I regained consciousness I didn't know where I was. The car didn't look like a car anymore... There was also blood all over the place... I screamed for mum as I couldn't see her anywhere... I would never see her again either, which is probably a good thing... as only half of her was still in the car... The rest of her was all over the other person's car... If I had been sitting anywhere else in the car I would have died... Mum's over cautiousness is what saved me in the end... The only injury that I received is a cut on my left cheek, which has left a scar... But I have relived that day ever since in my nightmares... Well that was until the yachting accident replaced it." Pierre takes another breather, as he still has something else that he wants to get off his chest. "Dad blamed himself for it all. He had planned all of the day's events, as he wanted me to have a really special 10th birthday. Dad knew how much I loved learning about the history of our region, so planned the day's activities around that. He had stayed home to prepare everything for the party, which we never had. It really cut him up, and he really struggled to cope with the loss of mum. He became really over protective of me as a result, as he couldn't bear to see anything happen to me. I was all that he had left. It all became too much for him. 6 months later he sold everything he owned, his business, the house, furniture, the car, everything. He brought the yacht and we set sail. We just sailed wherever we pleased, and to a certain extent dad seemed to get over the loss of mum... Oh well he is back with her now." With his story now told Pierre collapses onto the bed. He is shaking even worse now, and still crying uncontrollably. I am now hugging him to try and ease his pain, and make him forget the horrible events of his past. Pierre isn't crying now because he is grieving, no he is reliving the events. He is back in that car, or on that yacht. I have to remind him that it is all in his past, and he is safe now. I don't know what will happen if I don't succeed in bring him back from his thoughts. All I know is that it won't end well. "Pierre, I'm really sorry about your losses. But you are with me now. I will try to do anything that I can you keep you safe, and make you happy. What has happened is all in the past, you have to look to the future. Hopefully that will treat you better than the past has." I say from the bottom of my heart. I hug him as tight as I can, and then go back to stroking his back. We stay like that for ages. Gradually Pierre starts to relax again. His shaking stops, but he continues to cry. He is crying in grief again which I am glad about. I just let him grieve, and try to comfort him as best as I can. No words are spoken. He needs to grieve. I am here for him if he wants me. Otherwise I will just stay to keep him company. The only thing on my mind at this moment in time is helping Pierre as best as I can. Nothing else matters. I understand a lot of things when it comes to bad things happening to your family, but death isn't something that I have any experience with. I just do what I feel is the right thing to do. I'm pretty sure Pierre is happy with it. Who would have thought a couple of days ago, that I would be with someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with? Not me that is for sure. I was battling my own problems and nothing seemed more important than them at the time. Now I have found someone with bigger problems than I had, but I want to be there for him to help him through them. Pierre washing up into my life that day was no accident, I'm pretty sure of that. We were meant to find each other, as we are made for one another. It is almost like all the events in our lives happened for that very reason. That is to put us in the same place at the same time. It sounds eerie but it is what I'm starting to believe. "Thank you for being here with me. I really needed someone to comfort me. I really do love you for what you have done." Pierre whispers to me. His voice is still wavering due to his emotions not being under full control. He then gives me a kiss on the lips. The kiss is short, but is warm and full of love. "It's alright, I'm just glad that you appreciate it, as I wasn't sure that I was doing the right thing." I reply to Pierre. I am being totally honest, as I really didn't know whether I was doing the right thing for him, or not. "You did exactly what I needed someone to do. I'm just glad it was you who is here for me, as you do make me feel absolutely wonderful, even when I'm feeling like shit. Anyway can we go do something, as I really need to take my mind off things?" Pierre says to me. He is looking a lot better now. His eyes are red as a result of crying so much. But otherwise he is looking fine again. "OK, let's go find Callum and see what he wants to do." I reply. I have suddenly remembered about my sweet little brother again. He has been all alone for ages and I am feeling a little guilty about it. It was his idea for me to comfort Pierre, but I don't think either of us expected me to be gone so long. I know that he will understand though. I reluctantly release Pierre from my embrace, and then we both roll off my bed. Now comes the hard part, as I want to avoid mum again. This time at all costs. We sneak out of my room and down the hall. I sneak a peek into the lounge. She isn't there. We enter the lounge and make our way over to the wide open ranch slider. I take a look around outside. I can't see mum anywhere at the back of the house. I can't see Callum either. We go over to the front door which is also wide open, and I take a look out. Callum isn't there either, but mum is and she is heading towards the house. I don't think that she sees me. The backdoor is the only option, so we run back towards it and outside. We keep running until we are at the top of the sand dunes. Both of us are panting and sweating from the exertion of the quick sprint. I look around, trying to spot Callum. I still can't see him and I am starting to get worried. I decide to walk along the beach to try and find him. So we slide down the dunes, and onto the warm golden sands of the beach. Callum is still sitting exactly where I had left him. He sees us and a big smile comes over his face. He jumps up and ran over to us. Leaping into me and giving me a huge hug. He then lets me go and embraces Pierre in a hug as well. "I'm so sorry for your loss." Callum says as he hugs Pierre tighter. He really wants to show that he feels sad for Pierre. Pierre already knows that Callum is feeling sorry for him, so he doesn't really say anything. He hugs my little brother telling him thank you. "Callum, Pierre needs to take his mind off it. We need to do something to help that, so what do you want to do?" I say to my brother. He looks over at me. He then sighs and releases Pierre from his embrace, but at the same time I see a spark of excitement in his eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't realise... What the hell happened to you?" Callum says a bit ashamed for bringing up Pierre's loss, when he was trying to forget about it. He then wanders over to me and sees a huge red mark on my face. His expression turns to one of shock. "What do you mean, what happen to me?" I ask my brother totally confused by the question. I don't realise that I have a big red mark on my face from where mum had hit me. "You have a red mark on your face. It wasn't there this morning when we had that chat." Callum states. He is very observant with things like that so I know that I can't pass it off as something that had happened early in the morning. Pierre is also giving me a concerned look as he now sees what Callum has seen. "When I went to see Pierre, after having had my chat with you, I ran into mum. We had a huge argument... and... she hit me." I say. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes, so I wipe them away with the back of my hand. It feels inconsiderate to Pierre to start crying over having been hit. Pierre has just found out his dad had died for god's sake, so mum hitting me is so insignificant compared to that. "Mum hit you! What like dad used to?" Callum retorts without thinking about it. We had promised not to bring up dad with anyone one, as we want to forget that he even exists. But Callum has just blurted it out without realising. Pierre is now looking at me even more concerned, as he has heard about domestic violence, and how it can screw up the kids involved. "No, she only slapped me. It was nothing like that cockhead used to do to me." I reply to Callum. I am still trying to control my emotions as I really think that I am being insensitive to Pierre. Callum's expression shows a little bit of relief knowing mum hasn't hit me as bad as dad used to, but is still very worried that she may head down the same path as our father. "How bad did he hit you? Did he ever hit Callum? Where is he now?" Pierre asks frantically. He is really worried about me, and wants to know as much as he can. Callum gives me a sheepish look, and mouths `sorry' to me. He now realises that he has said too much. I'm not angry with him, as I know that I shouldn't hide it from Pierre. Especially as I love him so much. I release a big sigh, and sit down on the sand. Pierre and Callum also take a seat on either side of me. "Dad is in jail. No, he never laid a hand on Callum, as I made sure of it. I took lots of beatings on behalf of Callum, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I made sure Callum never got hurt from dad. I could never live with myself if I had failed. I got beat up real bad..." "Yeah, dad almost killed him a couple of times when he beat Josh up. Once he came home and found me cowering in the corner of our lounge, as dad was about to hit me. Josh asked him what the fuck he was doing. Josh got really beat up as a result. So bad that the doctors at the hospital were worried that he might have brain damage or something. Thankfully he didn't. Mum made Josh lie to everyone though, as she didn't want dad to get in trouble. Josh had to tell them that he had an accident at school or something." Callum interrupts me to tell Pierre the story. He feels guilty for bringing it up in the first place, so he thinks that he should at least help to tell Pierre what happened. Callum went into a little too much detail though, as I wasn't going to worry Pierre that much. Pierre looks in shock from what he hears. He can't' believe that a father would hit a kid so badly that it almost kills them. He now understands my relationship with my mother a bit better. He can see why I seem to blame her for everything. As much as Pierre can't believe that a father would hit their child, he finds it harder to believe a mother would watch it happening, and cover for the man. It defies belief. "Is that why you nose looks a bit funny?" Pierre asks. He is just trying to make conversation, as he feels that he should say something. It is also a way to get to know me a little better. "Yeah, dad broke it at least twice, and it has never reset properly. Anyway enough of this, let's go do something." I say, trying to draw the attention away from the past, and back to the present. "Let go for a swim." Callum says excitedly. It sounds like a good plan, and as we all have shorts on so we don't need to go home. Callum is the most on to it, as he stands up and rips off his shirt. He is in the water before Pierre and I realise what is happening. Finally catching on to Callum, we rip off our shirts, and chase after him. Once in the water I tackle Callum, and send both of us sprawling into the water. Callum re-emerges coughing and spluttering, as I have caught him off guard. Pierre bursts out laughing at the poor drowned rat. Callum quickly recovers and tackles me back. We are out in waist deep water at this stage, which allows Callum to swim under water without being seen. He emerges behind Pierre and pushes him face first into the water. I have resurfaced and see it all happening. I am interested as to how Pierre is going to react. Pierre is spluttering all over the place when he surfaces. Callum is a bit worried and goes up to Pierre. Pierre miraculously recovers and pushes Callum backwards into the water. Pierre laughs at my little brother again, as he has fallen for Pierre's trap. I am so glad to see that Pierre has taken it well, and seems happy again. We have a ball pushing each other over, and generally just enjoying the water. The small swell makes things even more fun. The best part is that for the moment all our problems cease to exist. We play around for a good couple of hours before we tire. I am not prepared to go home yet so I just lie on the sand. The other two join me. We just lie there enjoying the sun beating down on us. We are just talking about absolute garbage. None of us want to bring up anything serious. We are just boy's being boys'. The mindless chatter seems to have a therapeutic effect on Pierre and me. "I gotta pee." I say suddenly. It is the most serious thing that any of us have said in a while. I get back to my feet and go across the dunes to the neighbour's property. I have seen the man there taking a leak on their bushes. Well I didn't really see him, but I knew what he was doing as it was pretty obvious. I figure it will be alright for me to do so too, anyway their not home so who's to know. I find a bush not far inside the property, and pull the front of my shorts down. I don't take hold of my prick as I am too busy holding my shorts down. I let rip and watch my thin yellow stream erupt from my prick and soak the bush. It goes all over the place as I am not aiming my prick to pee in a certain direction, as I'm not holding it. As soon as I start to take a leak, Pierre and Callum stand beside me with their pricks hanging out, and take a leak too. I am amazed to see Callum taking a leak beside me, especially seeing as his balls are hiding again. It really looks like he has no balls, just a little dick and nothing else. I'm not paying much attention to my little bro, as my gaze is firmly fixed on Pierre's prick. He has pulled his foreskin back to take a leak, so I can see his lollipop looking reddish brown knob. It looks so delicious, even with the thin stream of pale yellow piss squirting out the end. Pierre's gaze is on my little dickie, which has strange sensations coming from it. I haven't realised that I have stopped peeing. Neither did I notice that it is getting stiff from the attention Pierre is giving it. "Joshie, you got a stiffie. I've never seen you with a stiffie before!" Callum exclaims a little too enthusiastically. He is now staring at my hard prick, which seems to get even harder from all the attention, it is the third ever boner that I remember having, and Pierre has been there every time. I know there has to be a connection between my love for Pierre, and my dick getting stiff, but I have no idea what it is. Since I have now finished peeing, I decide that I should put myself away. So I pull the front of my shorts over my little boner, much to the disappointment of Pierre, and Callum. I am not really sure why Callum is disappointed, it is probably because he has never seen me with a stiffie before so is fascinated by it. As soon as I have put my prick away the other two follow, and then we go back to where we were before and lie down on the sand. We lie there relaxing. None of us say anything as we just enjoy the noises of nature. The waves crashing on the beach. The wind rustling the leaves on the trees, and the birds chirping away in an endless conversation. It is magical, and oh so peaceful. The only problem that I have is what the hell am I going to do about dinner? I am getting hungry because I haven't eaten anything all day, as I have spent most of it trying to avoid mum. If I am to have anything to eat then I know I will have to face up to the dragon lady. I am not quite ready for that yet. We continued to lie there, as I am still too scared to go home. Callum and Pierre aren't prepared to move without me. I am contemplating my options as my stomach starts growling at me. I can just not eat, but I will have starved to death by the morning. I can fish for some food, but that means that I will have to go home to get my gear. I don't have the energy anyway. The only option is to go home to tea. "Come on lets go home, as I'm starving." I say as I get to my feet. Pierre and Callum sense the unease in my voice. They know that I am not quite ready to face mum again yet. "I can go and bring tea back for you." Callum says once he is at his feet. I give him a friendly smile. His thoughtfulness leaves me buzzing in pride. He really is so sweet. I give him a hug in appreciation for the gesture. "No, thank you anyway Callum but mum won't let you bring tea out for me. You know that. I have to face up to her at some stage, so I suppose now is as good time as ever." I say. I release Callum from my hug, and then we all trudge back over the sand dunes towards home. The closer to home we get the more nervous I become. Callum notices this so runs off ahead to make sure the coast is clear. Once Pierre and I finally make it to the backdoor Callum re-emerges carrying a note in his hand. "Mum's not home at the moment, she left this." Callum says and hands the note to me. I take it and read through it. Josh. I have gone out for a while. Your tea is in the oven, if it's cold by the time you get home just put it in the microwave for a couple of minutes. You should all go to bed early tonight as we will be leaving early in the morning. Mum. I let out a huge sigh of relief after reading the note. It means that I hopefully won't have to face mum till tomorrow. I read the note to the other two so that they know what is going on. They both look happy too, as they both don't want to see mum at the moment. Pierre is tempted to tell her what he thinks of her, after having heard what I have had to put up with. Callum just isn't happy with mum because she hit me. He thinks that all that had gone away when dad went to jail. Relieved, we head inside so that I can finish getting everyone's dinner ready. I go straight through to the kitchen, while the other two take a seat in the lounge. I open up the oven a check to see how hot tea is. It is still pretty warm, which means that mum has left only recently. I take the still hot plates out to Pierre and Callum, and hand them a plate each. Then I go back for my own tea. Yet again mum hasn't put any thought into dinner, but I am so starved that I don't care. She has cooked some frozen crumbed chicken nuggets. The sort you buy in a box at your local supermarket, with that she has cooked up chips and mixed vegetables. Thanks to the extra time the chips spent in the oven they are cooked through. That is a rarity when mum is cooking. Unfortunately she has put the vegetables on the plates before putting them back in the oven. As a result they are all wrinkled up and dried out. They are also really hard. We all mow down the food pretty quickly, as we are all really hungry. Callum is the only one of us who has had anything to eat today, but that was breakfast first thing in the morning. Once everyone has finished, I tell Callum to go and take a quick shower. He does as he is told as normal. He isn't the type to put up a fight about anything. He has seen too many fights, and they all seem to end badly. He is too scared to fight for things as a result. Once he has left, I clean up and load the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and put it on. As soon as Callum is done in the shower, I mention to Pierre that he should take one. He looks a little disappointed that I am not going to join him, but I think it is best not to. You know just encase mum comes back. I don't want another fight with her, so decide to play it safe. I go to check on Callum, who has gone to our room to dry himself off properly. He puts on his finding Nemo pictured summer pyjama bottoms, and matching top. Once he has his top button done up, he hops into bed and I tuck him in. He gives me a hug before he lies down and makes himself comfortable. I give him a little kiss on his forehead before he rolls on his side. He will be sound asleep by the time I return to the room. Pierre enters just as Callum is making himself comfy. He is drying himself off as he walks into the room, leaving his pecker exposed for all to see. Well mainly for me to drawl over. I shake my head to return back to the real world, and reluctantly leave to take my shower. I quickly scrub myself clean then turn the shower off. I grab my towel and dry my body as I walk back to my bedroom. I close the door behind me and turn out the light, as I enter. Pierre is sitting on the side of my bed completely naked. I suppose he doesn't have any night clothes to wear, so it is to be expected. I finish drying off and get into my bed pulling Pierre down with me. "Are you going to sleep with me again tonight?" I ask my sexy French boy. My voice is hushed so I don't wake Callum, who as I expected is asleep. I give him a loving smile trying to convince him that it is alright. I really don't need to, as he is hoping that I will let him sleep with me. It helps him sleep well, as he doesn't seem to have those horrible nightmares when he is sleeping with me. "Of course I want to sleep with you. Are you going to wear your diapers?" Pierre whispers to me, having seen me start to pull the sheet over our naked bodies. I think he is a little worried that I might have an accident during the night. His fears are to be expected I suppose. "No. I'm confident that with you sleeping by my side, that I will have my third dry night in a row." I answer back, still whispering. I then hug Pierre getting him to stop worrying. He understands what I mean, as he finds that sleeping with me is making his problems go away as well. He hugs me back and gives me a loving kiss on the lips. "I love you." He says after the kiss. "I love you too." I reply and kiss him back. Each time we kiss it feels so electric, and I really don't want each kiss to end. This time the only reason we stop kissing is because we both fall into a deep sleep. "Come on you lot. Get up, as I want to leave shortly." Mum yells banging on the door. She refuses to open it, as she doesn't think that she will be able to handle the scene on the other side of the door. She presumes that we are sleeping together, but doesn't realise that we are also naked. She really would have flipped out then. She plays it safe and doesn't open the door. She figures it is better not to know then she can rest easy. The three of us wake with a start at the sudden banging on the door. I am really groggy and don't really comprehend anything. All I know is that I had better get up and changed. My crotch feels a little weird, but I feel dry so I don't pay much attention to it. My eyes aren't focusing either so I didn't really see anything. I struggle to get out of bed, having to untangle myself from Pierre first. Then I stumble to my drawers to find some clothes. Callum is in the same state, but as per usual when he gets woken before he is ready, he has a really grumpy look on his face. He staggers over to his drawers to find some clothes. Then he quickly strips and gets changed. He pulls on some yellow Scooby Doo undies, and follows that with some black knee length shorts. He covers his chest with a blue collared shirt, and slips his feet into some jandals. I notice that the grey track pants that Pierre was wearing the other day, are back in the drawers. I pull them out and throw them to my naked boyfriend, who promptly pulls them on. I then hand him a white printed T shirt to put on. I pull on some blue briefs and grey surf shorts, and button and zip them up. Then I pull on an orange T shirt with surfing graphics on the back, and put jandals on my feet. We are all ready to go, except I still have a funny feeling in my crotch. I ignore it. We trudge through the house towards the front door. It is still dark outside, and we are all still half asleep. I am last out the door, and slam it behind me. I don't mean to slam it. I just don't have enough coordination due to still being too sleepy, and as a result it just sort of happens. Mum is already in the car, and has the motor running. We all climb into the backseat. Callum sitting behind mum, I take the middle seat and Pierre takes the seat on the passenger's side. Callum and Pierre close the doors as they get in, and we all put our seatbelts on. Callum is asleep again before we even leave the driveway. I lean onto Pierre's shoulder and follow my brother back into slumber land. I don't think Pierre lasts much longer. Mum isn't impressed when she looks through the rear view mirror. She hates the fact that I am lying on Pierre. The only saving grace is the fact that I am fast asleep, so she knows with me being in the middle that I will be lying on someone. She would have preferred me to lie on Callum. At the time I hadn't made a conscious choice to lie on Pierre. He is on my more natural side for the way I like to lie. If Callum had been there then I probably will be lying on him instead. Mum bites her tongue, as she has planned to day as an apology. She still is not going to accept our relationship, but she has other plans for that. I wake up after about an hour, and am surprised to see us still driving. What surprises me more is that I don't recognise where we are. I thought that we would have been heading to Kaitaia again, but that is an hour and a halves journey and it follows the coast most of the way. We are inland so that writes that way off. We also aren't anywhere north of Kaitaia as the scenery is all wrong and we haven't been in the car long enough. I just spend the time looking out of the window trying to work out where we are. It isn't until we arrive at our destination that I know where we have been heading, as we have passed through no real towns during the time I have been awake. Our destination is Kerikeri. It is situated at the northern end of the famous Bay of Islands. The town has a Mediterranean feel to it. Citrus fruit growers are trying to sell their goods from little shops on the edge of town. Even in town itself it has a Mediterranean air to it, for a small town it has a thriving café culture. It is also a historic town by New Zealand standards, with two of the oldest buildings in the country situated right here. We are heading that way too. We go down to the Kerikeri River, and cross the bridge. Pierre and Callum are both awake at this point. Pierre is buzzing with excitement at seeing the two glorious old buildings right beside the bridge. Mum parks the car, and we all get out. It is a beautiful little spot here. You can hardly tell that you are actually in a town aside from the two old buildings. All around the place all you can see is native bush, and the river weaving its way towards the bay. We walk across the road to get a closer look at the old buildings. We are a little early as they haven't opened up yet, but just seeing them from the outside is impressive enough. The first building is a shop built from stone. It is known as the stone store, and is the oldest building made from stone in the country. Adjacent to the stone store is the mission house. This is built from wood in 1822, and is New Zealand's oldest wooden structure. They are nothing compared to what Pierre is used to in France, but he is still excited as he just likes history. Time frames don't matter to him it is more about the history it represents. For Pierre he gets as much excitement seeing two of New Zealand's oldest building, as he does looking at ancient Roman structures in France. For me and Callum we are fascinated just the same. For us it means a little more as this is the history of our country. I am still a little wary of mum, and try to keep my distance. But I am overawed by the spectacular sights. I have sort of forgotten how angry I am with mum, as she has brought us here. It is somewhere that I've wanted to see for ages. I am really happy being here, and am starting to forgive mum for yesterday. Mum has more planned than just seeing the buildings, as we cross the road again and walk towards a little dirt track. We take a walkway to an ancient Pa site. All that still exists today is a terraced hill, but the information signs that are put up along the walkway allow us to be able to visualise what the old Maori fortified village would have looked like when it was still up. It is really cool seeing how the native Maori used to live. The walk itself is really beautiful too. It is through native bush, and feels like we are miles from anywhere even though it is only a ten minute walk. It is so peaceful, that all that we can hear is the water gurgling away in the river below and birds chirping away high in the trees. The best sight is when I see a Tui land on a branch, just meters from me. I point it out to Pierre, and inform him about the rare black native bird. The distinguishing feature of the bird is the little white tuft of feathers which stands out against the black of the rest of the bird. It also has the most wonderful songs. Once at the ancient Pa site we sit on the neatly tended grass. The council has done a good job preserving the remnants of the ancient Pa. They have cleared the entire bush around the terraced foundations enabling a good view of what it would have looked like. They have left a couple of really old native trees on the site, as it is believed that the trees were growing there while the Pa was still active. The site is now well tended grass on the terraced hill, and bathed in sunlight making it a popular spot for a picnic. With the river sloshing away as it flows effortlessly towards the sea at the bottom of the hill, it makes it even more peaceful. Mum pulls out some sandwiches from her handbag, as well as a can of lemonade each. She had prepared the sandwiches first thing this morning, before she woke us up. She hands us each a sandwich and a drink. We unwrap the cling wrap covered sandwiches and chow down. It is a luncheon sandwich with tomato sauce, one of my favourites. Because she has made them fresh this morning the sauce hasn't had long enough to make the bread soggy, the sandwich still tastes great. We quickly scoff down the sandwich, and drink our lemonade, and we are feeling a lot better by the end of it. We are fuller of energy. Whist drinking the lemonade the strange feeling I am getting in my crotch seems to get stronger. I still don't know what is happening, and I can't exactly just take a look either. I try to ignore it, but the longer I ignore it the stronger it gets. We finish our breakfast, and mum gathers up all the rubbish, and puts it in the plastic bag that she has in her handbag. Once mum is happy that we have collected all of our rubbish, we set off back for the car. Pierre and I drift behind mum and my brother on the walk back. I use this opportunity to have a quick feel of my crotch. My dick feels like it is hard. I can't understand why. I look ahead to mum, and notice that she isn't paying attention to us at this stage. Knowing that she isn't looking I pull the front of my shorts out, to try and take a better look. It doesn't work as it is still too dark down there, so I put my hand down and feel myself. It is hard. I am really confused as I have never been hard in the morning before. In fact the only time I remember being hard is when Pierre is staring at my little dick. "Pierre my dick is stiff. I think it has been like that since I woke up this morning. Do you know why?" I whisper to Pierre. He gives me an amused look. He knows the answer but can't believe that I don't. He has totally forgotten about the fact that I used to wet the bed, so haven't experienced this problem before. "Josh, you have a piss boner. You get it in the mornings when you really need to take a piss. I'm quite surprised that you haven't had an accident yet, as if it was like that when you first woke up than you must be completely busting by now." Pierre replies also whispering. It is now that I realised that he is right. Due to the strange sensations in my crotch, I have overlooked the overwhelming urge to pee. Now that I know that I need to pee the situation seems to get a lot more critical. I now start jiggling around, and hopping from one foot to the other, well when I am not walking I do. We are back at the car by this stage so I can't just sneak off to a bush to relieve myself. Mum won't approve with me doing that, so not being able to do it covertly I write the idea off. Mum unlocks the car, while I scope around for a public toilet. There isn't one. "Mum, I need to go pee real bad. Can you quickly find a toilet somewhere?" I say to mum. My voice is starting to show signs of panic telling mum how urgent this is. Mum doesn't reply, she just nods her head instead and finishes unlocking the car. Callum gets back in the same side he was on the trip here. Pierre scoots into the middle seat so that I can get out quickly when we find some toilets. I scramble in and slam the door behind me. Then I quickly put on my seatbelt. It seems like an eternity before everyone else has their seatbelts on, and mum starts the car. Mum reverses out of the park onto the road, and then we set off towards Kerikeri's town centre. It is an agonizingly slow journey into town to find some toilets. The town has lots of cafes and other touristy shops but not a lot else. There are a couple of chain department stores, the usual ones which you will find in any town of notable size in the country. Otherwise the shops are more set up to cater for the booming tourist trade which frequents the area. It being the largest town in the Bay of Islands means it has the largest town centre, but it is still pretty small compared to other towns. Pretty much right in the centre of town are the public toilets, which are an old fashion concrete block style building of which a lot of public toilets in New Zealand are. I don't wait till mum has fully parked the car before I take my seatbelt off. The moment the car has come to a stop, and mum has put on the handbrake, I throw open the door and jump out. I take a quick look to see which is the men's toilets and run towards the door. It is pretty dark and gloomy inside due to only being lit up by a couple of meagre incandescent lights. Directly opposite the door is a long stainless steel urinal. At the far end of the urinal are four cubicles all painted a dark green colour. On the wall beside the door, opposite the urinals and cubicles is a bench with three separate wash basins installed into it. Each basin has its own soap dispenser. Beside the bench are a couple of automatic hand driers. The walls are painted an off white colour but due to the age of the structure have a grimy unclean look to them. I know that in my current state heading to the cubicles like I normally would, is out of the question. I don't see the logic in trying to aim my little boner towards the toilet bowl when I can just use the urinals and not have to aim it anywhere. So I walk up to the urinals and get in position. Due to how urgent the need to take a leak is, I really struggle to get a grip on the zipper in my shorts. As I am fumbling away desperately trying to get a hold of the zip, I sense someone enter and take up position beside me at the urinal. I look over thinking that it is Callum or Pierre. I get the shock of my life to see a man standing there with his cock already in his hands. *** Damn that lemonade. Or is it because I have just remembered the day that I got my first piss boner? Either way I really needed to take a piss now, which leaves me with another problem. I am going to have to talk to mum. I haven't really said a word to her for about three days, well other than telling her to get fucked when I first got into the car. Now I am going to have to swallow my pride and talk to her. I really don't want to, but if I don't I will end up pissing my pants. Unless she is planning on stopping at the next toilets anyway then I won't have to say anything. It is a risk that I am not willing to take. "Mum, can you stop at the next toilets? I need to take a leak." I say to her wearily. I am expecting mum to make a big deal about the fact that I have finally talked to her. I am hoping that she won't because I still am not in the mood for her shit right now. I have only said something to her as a last resort. It is an act of utter desperation. "You will have to hold on for a little while. We will be in Whangarei in about fifteen minutes. I will stop at the toilets there." She replies to me. She is happy to hear my voice again as she was starting to wonder as to whether I would ever talk to her again. She knows that she has severely fucked up, but can't fix what she has done. We are both just going to have to get used to it. Like it or not. I am glad that she doesn't make a big deal of me talking to her again. I am disappointed that I will still have to hold on for another quarter of an hour, at least. But I have no choice so I do everything that I can to take my mind off it. We are stopping in Whangarei to take a piss, how ironic. It is about all Whangarei is famous for, is as a piss stop for travellers going from Auckland to the Bay of Islands, or vice versa. It is actually a nice city with plenty to do, but most people don't bother to stop to check out the place. The city centre is pretty bland and boring, but around the harbour Whangarei takes on a whole new life. There is a beautiful drive that goes from the port out to the heads of the Whangarei harbour. The drive goes past the bush clad hills on the north and the aqua blue water of the harbour to the south. Because the northern side of the harbour is hilly there are lots of great vantage points overlooking the southern side of the harbour, and the impressive Marsden Point oil refinery. On the harbour road there are lots of small quirky settlements dotted along the drive out to the heads. There are plenty of bush walks up into the hills as well. The most impressive is to the top of Mt Manaia, which is a sheer rocky outcrop that can be seen from anywhere in Whangarei. It almost looks like a fortress protecting the city. The harbour basin in Whangarei itself is beautiful. It's dotted with lots of boutique shops all built in the colonial way. It has an air of history to it, even though most of the buildings are relatively new. The area is immaculate, probably the nicest area in the whole of the city. It is also the focus for all the entertainment the city has to offer, as it tries to cash in on the tourists who do bother to stop here. The most impressive landmark in Whangarei has to be the 26m high Whangarei falls. It is an impressive sight especially given that you are pretty close to the centre of the city. After heavy rain the falls are even more impressive due to the huge volume of water thundering over the edge of an old basalt lava flow. The only problem with the falls after heavy rain is that the water turns an ugly brown colour, due to silt runoff further up the river. The best thing for me is that is where the closest toilets are located. Mum pulls the car up to a park in the Whangarei falls reserve and I quickly jump out. From the outside the toilets look uninviting, but when you are desperate you don't think too much of it. It is a wooden structure only maybe ten years old. The problem is that the city has a high crime rate so the toilets have been heavily tagged. It also shows other signs of vandalism, but a lot of that has stopped as the city council has installed numerous security cameras around the toilets, and the car park. They are trying their hardest to try to curb the crime rate of the area, so that tourists can feel safe to come here. Inside the toilets is a totally different story. They look new and clean. The city council has pretty much had to replace the whole interior of the toilets due to repetitive vandalism. It isn't too uncommon to come into the toilets and find the porcelain urinals, and toilet bowls smashed to pieces. All that has pretty much stopped since the cameras have been installed. In the few cases of vandalism after the installation of the cameras, the culprits have been quickly apprehended because the footage makes them easily identifiable. So the park is now a pretty safe place to come to again. Like most toilets the urinals are on the wall opposite the door, with the cubicles located at the end of the row of urinals. On the wall beside the door are the wash basins and automatic hand driers. Without thinking I walk straight up to one of the porcelain urinals. I am wearing black board shorts which come with a fly and a button, but the tab for the zipper is broken. I have to fumble around with the button to try and get it undone so that I can pull my little dick out. I hear someone else enter the toilets while I am struggling with the button. I have a feeling that mum has woken up Callum and made him use the toilet too. ************ Comments are always welcome at (pennywise3636@gmail.com). Please keep all comments clean. 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