From: elf@halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg)
Newsgroups: alt.sex,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.furry,alt.sex.homosexuality,alt.sex.bondage
Subject: Journal Entry 079 / 0672  [ Coming Home ]
Date: 5 Apr 1996 15:09:42 GMT
Organization: Pendor, UnLtd.
Lines: 405
Message-ID: <4k3d3m$sio@news.halcyon.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: coho.halcyon.com

Elenya, Virta 6, 0672

    It didn't seem to matter much that I had spent the last three 
weeks eating three meals a day and showering regularly.  It didn't 
seem to matter that P'nyssa had been by my side the entire time, or 
that the autodoc had examined us completely over and over and every 
report had come back the same.  I was in perfect health, well fed 
and cared for.  It didn't matter.  I felt tired.  I felt 
completely, bone-wearingly tired.

    I had paced the open floor of this Mark 454 Starcruiser, much 
like the one we had crashed in seven months ago (or fifty years 
ago, depending on who you asked), at least a dozen times today when 
Vega came up the small stairway leading to the bridge to find me.  
"Less than twenty minutes, Ken," she said, smiling.

    "Thanks, Captain," I replied, sighing.  "Aaden's supposed to be 
on board the Eldarfaroth, isn't he?"

    She nodded.  "It was my understanding that your coimelin hates 
space."

    "He does."

    "Then he must love you very much, to come this far to be with 
you on your return."

    I smiled.  "Yeah, I guess he does.  I know I love him, but 
there isn't much that frightens me the way space frightens him."  I 
heard footsteps behind me, and P'nyssa and Thera came walking in 
from the cabin area.  "Hi," I said, taking P'nyssa in my arms and 
hugging her tightly.

    "Hi," she replied back, smiling.  I don't think it was my 
imagination that her smile was as weary as mine.  I reached out 
with my hand to touch Thera's shoulder; she startled a little, them 
covered my hand with hers.

    "You look tired, Thera."

    She laughed.  "I think that's the theme of the day, Kennet.  We 
are all tired.  We all want to be home."

    Vega looked up from her controls, her Tindal eyes smiling.  
"And home wants you home, guys.  We've missed all of you for too 
long."

    Thera smiled.  "You mean they missed Ken and P'nyssa and Pan.  
The rest of us are not so important."

    "You were all important," Vega replied.  "No particular 
priority was given to Ken or anybody else.  A higher priority was 
put on a defensive rescue ops because when the Sinox heard you were 
missing they went completely berserk.  We had sixteen defensive 
operations the first year you were gone."

    "Sixteen?" I asked, incredulous.  "There were only four last 
year!"

    "Fifty years ago," Vega corrected me again.  I felt like I was 
getting a headache.  Traveling forward in time fifty years had 
completely disoriented me.  And there were people on Pendor who did 
this all the time!  Vega continued, "They returned to normal levels 
after three years, but intelligence was constantly aware of their 
immense interest and intensive resource effort in finding you.  
Occasionally they would claim to have captured or killed you, but 
we never gave up hope and the details they gave were never very 
accurate."

    "Surprise that.  A species almost too stupid to be 
spaceworthy."

    "Actually, they're very intelligent.  When it comes to 
relegative processes, the Sinox are actually superior to all the 
Pendorian Races."

    "With one exception," Dali, the ship's AI, interrupted.

    "Well, yes, with one exception.  Anyway, the Sinox don't suffer 
intuitively because of it, either.  They're a very straightforward 
and functional race.  They're just so completely homocentric that 
external competition is anathema to them.  Internal competition, 
they believe, just makes them stronger."

    "Kinda makes sense why they think I'm their Great Evil 
incarnate, then," I mused quietly.  "Not only do I represent 
competition, but I created varieties of competition that are 
actually superior to myself."

    "I am not superior to you, am I?" Thera asked, looking 
confused.

    "Actually, you were," I said casually.  "You're a lot more 
survival-worthy than your base Terran Human.  I was one once, 
remember?"  She nodded.  "Over the years, I've made modifications 
to myself that, as far as I can tell, bring me up to your 
standards.  But in the beginning all my children were more 
survival-worthy than I was."

    "Dropping out of Hawkwind drive," Dali announced calmly.  
"Transit to the Eldarfaroth in four minutes."

    "There it is," Vega announced, pointing out the window.  People 
tend to forget that there is very little light in deep space; about 
as much as a starlit, moonless night on an undeveloped world.  Our 
solution was to place large LED panels on strategic points, thus 
outlining the ship.   The Eldarfaroth was covered almost completely 
in them; it gleamed like a golden offering.

    My heart beat faster; I could almost feel what little magickal 
training I had strain to pull me from my body, to let me get to the 
Eldarfaroth ahead of the Starcruiser, to be with Aaden NOW.  I 
wanted to  hold him, to hug him again.  I told myself to be still.

    The docking facility for the Eldarfaroth is on the top of the 
ship; Pendorian design philosophy doesn't have the enclosed shuttle 
garages that Terran ships do, but rather puts the docking hardware 
entirely on the outside of the vessel and control of the landing 
entirely in the hands of the pilot.  It allows for five vectors of 
escape instead of one, which is all the Terran design permits.

    I cursed inwardly, wondering why in Hell I was thinking about 
starship design philosophy when what I wanted was Aaden.  I thought 
about all the things I had left back home, that I hadn't had my 
hands on in almost a year for me, but five decades for them.  Ress, 
Bawr, Jahn, Brieanna, Paul, Carroll... who was I missing?  Them, or 
just Aaden?

    Gods, I missed him.  I felt the Starcruiser clang and thunk 
against the hull of the larger starship.  What had happened in 
fifty years?  Was he still living at home, or had he moved back 
into his house at Rhysh?  Did he still love me?  Did he have 
someone else?

    I waited, my heart racing.  A hand, no, a mitten slid across my 
shoulders, startling me as the lift activated and dropped the ship 
into the holding bay.  "Ken?"

    "Huh?" I asked suddenly.  "Oh... Hi, Nyss."

    "Your scared, aren't you?"

    "Of a lot of things.  I know you love me, P'nyssa, I'm not 
afraid of you disappearing anytime soon."  I reached out to put my 
arm around her waist.  "But I'm really scared he's not going to be 
there when the door opens."

    "I don't think you have anything to worry about, Ken."

    "But fifty years, Nyss?  That's such an incredibly long time, 
even for us.  A year or two or even ten I could do standing on my 
head, but to miss you or him for so long... I know I would have 
gone crazy." 

    She smiled and kissed my cheek.  "He'll be there.  He'd better 
be.  Sometimes you two forget how much I love him."

    "No," I replied as I felt the clang of the overhead doors 
sliding shut and the hiss of air being pumped into the shuttlebay.  
"We never forget that, P'nyssa.  I know how important he is to 
you."

    "Do you?" she asked, curiously.  I nodded.  She smiled and 
hugged me tightly in her tentacles.  "I'm glad, because I need you 
to know."

    "P'nyssa, I don't often say this, but you're more important to 
me than he is.  But I'm so secure in my love for you, and you for 
me, that I don't express that love to you often enough."   

    She smiled.  "I love you enough, Ken, to know I don't need to 
hear it every day.  But I've had you every day since our crash 
landing, and he hasn't had you at all.  Go with him."

    The hiss ended, and I heard now, rather than felt, the sound of 
interior airlocks opening.  Vega tossed a switch on her command 
panel, then walked to the ship's main airlock, punched the ATM 
button on the inner door, walked into the airlock and hit the 
button with the same label.  The outer door opened a small 
contingent, five people, stood there.  I recognized all of them, 
instantly.  Etta, Katherine, Amanda, M'Vahn and... "Aaden!"

    I ran out of the shuttle without a concern in the universe but 
for him.  Decorum be damned!  I ran into his arms, grabbed his fur 
and held him close.  "Oh, Gods, I was so afraid you wouldn't be 
here!"

    He was silent as I held him.  He didn't say a word.  A cold, 
frightened feeling started to spread down my shoulders.  I pushed 
away from him just a little bit, looking up into his eyes.  He 
looked down at me, a serious expression on his face, but there was 
that twinkle in his black and beautiful eyes that made me feel less 
scared for his love, but more for myself.  I felt his right arm 
move up against my left, his paw sliding along the fabric of my 
shirt, his fingers sliding up under my hair.  My heart would have 
stopped if it hadn't been so imperative that it keep beating.  

    His fingers closed into a fist, grabbing as much hair as he 
could possibly hold in his enormous paw.  I felt my muscles freeze 
as he closed his hands further, clenching more, pulling nearly half 
the hair on my head so strongly it felt like he was going to tear 
it out by the roots.

    I sighed and collapsed onto the ground at his feet, onto my 
knees.  I wrapped my arms around his leg, his thigh, and held on, 
my eyes closed.  "Get up," he snarled down at me.  "On your feet!"  
He pulled on my hair, hauling me painfully until I was almost 
standing, then turned me viciously and threw me away from him, onto 
a low, mattressed platform that seemed unusual starship 
construction for a shuttle bay.  I blinked.

    And I smiled inside as I landed sprawling on the cabin bed.  I 
had been so busy noticing my reception party and, most importantly, 
him, that I'd missed the SDisk he'd been standing on.  He had 
planned this.

    He jumped on my prone body, straddling me.  He grabbed my hair 
and shoved my head down against the mattress, almost so I couldn't 
breathe.  He snarled, "Do you know how much suffering you've put me 
through, Ken?  Do you know how much I've missed you?  Do you have 
any idea of what I've gone through?  I'm going to give you a small 
taste."  His right paw held my hair, his left hand grabbed the 
collar of my shirt.  I heard a loud ripping, and then felt sudden 
pain sear out against my back as his claws tore both my shirt and 
my back to ribbons.  I screamed, my brain going into immediate 
overload.  I could feel the cold terror reaching for me again.  His 
claws didn't stop at my pants, they tore along and down my right 
leg, slicing me open with such excruciating pain there was nothing  
I could do but thrash and scream.  Coherence was out of the 
question.

    He was kinder to my left leg, just slicing the cloth and 
tearing it off of me.  Exposed and bleeding, with his hand still in 
my hair, I lay on the bed and tried to figure out how close I was 
to complete shock.  I decided I was close.

    I panted, breathing and desperate for surcease.  "Aaden..." I 
managed to whisper to the huge, vicious creature that sat 
straddling my thighs.

    "Oh, no," he growled, leaning over to whisper into my ear.  
"You haven't had nearly enough, Ken.  You need to suffer.  You're 
just in pain right now.  I need you to suffer."  I moaned.  "And 
you know how you're going to suffer, Ken?"

    I managed to find my tongue, thick and hazy.  "How, sir?"

    "Sufi and I made love three times last night, I was so hot to 
see you.  I'm going to come once more, in you, before I let them 
have you again."  I felt his left hand stray over my butt, and I 
felt him position his cock at my asshole.

    He wasn't gentle.  I tend to have a very tight hole, the result 
of lots of practice; Aaden once said that fucking me was at first 
like trying to shove his dick through a block of semi-dried clay.  
That didn't stop him this time.  He shoved his way into guts with 
such force and violence that I screamed again, and he wrenched my 
head and shoved me face-down into the mattress to muffle the 
screams as he began fucking me.

    I felt the familiar feeling of his huge cockhead hitting my 
prostate, of his strong body laying over mine.  His fur was mixing 
into the wounds he had given me, and the pain blazed along my back.  
In my imagination, I saw him as an unstoppable engine, his huge 
shaft tearing me open and shattering my pelvis, a hot yellow light 
like a solar flare signaling the burning pain of my violated flesh.

    He drove deeper into me, raised on his arms.  "You're better 
hope I come soon, Ken," he snarled at me as he ravished me.  I was 
helpless, even though I clawed at the bed to escape his agony.  
Tears streamed down my eyes; my legs had long ago gone into useless 
convulsions as his enormous cock used me to whatever ends he meant.  
"You're bleeding bad, and if you don't get help soon..." he didn't 
finish with words but with a single, howlingly vicious thrust of 
his cock that I swear I felt rearrange my insides.

    I groaned and panted like an animal, praying it would never end 
as he raped and ravished and used me and reintroduced me to the 
depths of pain and heights of pleasure I had never been able to 
reach with anyone but him.  My hands spasmed uncontrollably, unable 
to grip at anything no matter how hard I willed them to reach back 
behind me and hold him.  I wanted to tell him to use me harder, to 
fuck me even more viciously if he could.  Nothing but incoherent 
and guttural screams came from my throat.

    His thrusting continued, feral and uncontrolled.  There was 
nothing to us but need, need to reconnect like we had before.  I 
felt the pain from the wounds on my back and thigh; I felt the 
blood from my torn buttock streaming down the crack of my ass and 
adding to the slickness of our sex.  I felt his body possess mine 
with his violence, with his desire.  His arms were at my sides, 
crushing me in his grip as his phallus tore me up from within.

    I was starting to lose consciousness; I was starting to grey 
out.  The pain, the bloodloss, the shock of it all was too much.  
My world was getting hazy, the fiery violence of his fucking the 
only thing I could feel, the last thing I ever wanted to feel.  And 
then I felt him shove against me once so hard I imagined my bones 
cracking; I heard him scream so loud I knew that if I survived, I'd 
be deaf.

    And then there was no more.

              -               -              -

    "Hey," I heard his voice say, gently and in the distance.

    I opened my eyes.  He was right above me, smiling down at me, 
his eyes alight.  "Aaden..." I whispered.

    "It's okay... I've had P'nyssa look you over.  She dealt with 
the
scratches, and you're going to be fine."

    "Aaden?" I whispered, looking up at him.  "Please... come 
here."

    He lowered himself until he was just cents from my face.  I 
thought about moving my arms, and much to my surprise, they obeyed.  
I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him down against me.  "Oh, 
Aaden... I love you."

    I heard something like a sigh escape him, and then he shifted 
his body against mine, his weight pressing against me.  He buried 
his face in my shoulder.  And then he began crying.

    I don't know what to do when people cry, except hold them.  
Which is what I did.  He cried for a long time, holding me tight.  
"Oh, Fah, Ken, I missed you so much," he managed to gasp once as he 
held me.  His crying went on for a while, and then he raised his 
head.  "Don't you EVER do this to me again," he snarled.  "You 
don't know how much I hurt.  Oh, Ken, please don't ever do this to 
me again."

    I reached up and scratched the top of his beautiful, furry 
head.  "I didn't mean to this time, Aaden.  I swear, I'll do 
everything I can to keep it from happening again.  But I can't stay 
home, you know that."

    "I know," he cried, tears dropping slowly across his muzzle.  
"I just don't want to lose you.  You scared me so much.  When I 
heard they'd found your signal, I'd almost given up hope."

    "You could never give up hope," I whispered to him.  "I love 
you too much, you know.  You knew I'd come back."

    "I did," he sighed, "But I didn't know how long to wait.  You 
know, almost nobody lives at the Castle anymore.  Without you, it's 
an empty place.  I moved back to Rhysh."  He looked up again at me, 
a small smile 
across his face.  I reached up and brushed tears from his snout 
with a gentle hand.  "I guess I'll have to move back, huh?"

    "Guess you will.  Aaden?"

    "Yeah?"

    "That was the most unbelievably wonderful homecoming I've ever 
had.  Thank you."

    "I was afraid I was too rough."

    "You were.  That's why it was wonderful.  Thank you."

    He nodded solemnly, then lay down by my side.  We lay in the 
dim bedroom together, quietly enjoying each others' touch once 
more.  Once again becoming familiar with heartbeats, breathing, 
luxuriant fur or soft human skin.  A chime rang quietly.

    "They're expecting you at dinner.  Are you up to it?"

    "I think so," I said.  "It's a little bit of shock, to be 
honest."

    "I thought it would be," he murmured softly.  "Come on.  That 
was the half-hour alarm.  We need to shower first."

    I nodded as he eased off of me and stood up.  His black fur was 
matted down, my dried blood sticking it to it in one long, ragged 
line from his chest to his knee.  "I guess we do," I whispered 
softly.  "Wow."

    "Yeah, I went a bit overboard," he said as he helped me stand 
up.

    "Just a bit.  Aaden?" I asked, looking into his face.

    "Hmm?" he asked, nervously. 

    "I love you."  I reached out and hugged him, still feeling a 
little  dizzy and unsteady.  He held me, tightly and reassuredly, 
and then led me into the shower.

--
"Journal Entry 079 / 0672  [ Coming Home ]"
The Journal Entries of Kennet R'yal Shardik, et. al., and Related Tales
are copyright (C) 1989-1995 Elf Mathieu Sternberg.  Redistribution of
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--
Elf Sternberg            FUCK THE CDA!       (Cohen vs. California, 1971)
elf@halcyon.com          Nos numerus sumus et fruges consumere nati.
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