From: elf@coho.halcyon.com (Elf Sternberg)
Newsgroups: alt.sex,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.masturbation
Subject: Journal Entry 159/1026  [ Planetfall: Ramsey, The Dildo
Date: 18 Mar 1995 18:56:01 GMT
Organization: Northwest Nexus Inc.
Lines: 313
Message-ID: <3kfac1$m9f@news1.halcyon.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: coho.halcyon.com

Cerim 14, 1026

	"Sigh,"  I said aloud, sighing.  That word had become something 
of a habit with me; it seemed preferable to the sighing on its own 
for some reason.  I rose from the wooden table and pulled aside the 
flap that separated the tent's center room from Sheja's.  The dim 
light from the center room diffused through the canvas walls, 
illuminating her.  She looked so beautiful lying there, sleeping 
peacefully, the covers collected at the foot of the bed on so warm a 
night.  Her Mephit body shifted slightly, her legs stretching a 
little.  I wondered who occupied her dreams.  Was it boys or girls, 
hominids or 'taurs, someone generic or someone specific?  Did I 
occupy my daughter's dreams?  Did his mother or Aaden?  

	She really had become a sweet young fem in her teenage years.  
Although my body was as healthy as hers, I felt older.  There are 
more years on this chassis then there are on hers, at least in the 
head.  I treasured her innocence and her purity.  And her right to 
keep them, even if she sometimes seemed ready to trade them in on 
experience.  I loved my children without question or qualm, and until 
she asked me to change the rules, I wasn't going to do more teach her 
with words and with pictures.  The rest she would have to seek on her 
own.

	As I stepped away and let the flap close, I noticed something 
shift in my pants; I had an erection from thinking about her.  The 
line between integrity and corruption is called action, and I knew 
which side of that line I sat on.  Sheja was untouchable until she 
told me otherwise.  I reached down into my pants and grabbed my cock, 
feeling the skin of my palm close about the more sensitive flesh.  
Alone in the tent but for sleeping Sheja, I wondered what I was going 
to do with this sudden incident with solidity.

	I wondered how P'nyssa was getting along right now.  She and 
Zaid had been spending a lot of time together, and I hardly begrudged 
them that time.  I liked Zaid a lot; she was an interesting woman, to 
say the least.

	And Aaden had been spending nights in the field, doing 
etymological interfacing studies, finishing up the last of the 
studies before we packed up and went home.  The replacement team was 
on its way.  And Battia wasn't really all that upset to see us go.  
Actually, I bet he was spending some times with Tonni doing some of 
their own interfacing.

	It's funny, but I don't resent the time they spend away from 
home.  I think part of it's that they don't really have a "home" per 
se.  I'm happy just when they're around, but I like to have a space 
to call my own, and I'm thousands of light years from Pendor and 
Alpha, and Aaden can't reach his office in Rhysh and P'nyssa's 
without hers at Cutters.  We're making our own psychic spaces now, 
living on our own in many ways until we get home.

	And like them I've got my own playmates.  I could always call 
Lindsay.  Or Olivia.  I smiled and ticked off the names in my mind.  
Kathy.  Trianna.  Nishipo.  Dao.

	I stopped for a second.  I mean, literally froze as I paced 
around the room.  Only two males and four females?  That seemed 
unlike me for some reason.  Usually it's even numbers, or it's male-
heavy.  And where, exactly, did Lindsay sit?  Although I generally 
counted her on the female side, there was no denying that penis 
between her legs.  I wondered what was going on inside my head.  

	I grinned and unfroze, dimming the lights and walking towards 
the bedroom.  Right at the moment, I felt bored, but I didn't feel 
like calling someone to relieve that boredom.  I was interested in 
sex and orgasm, but I really wasn't interested in calling someone to 
assist.  I sat down on the platform bed and contemplated my next 
move.

	I needed something.  Something private.  I felt lazy for one 
thing, and let's face it, as much as I adore all of my friends 
calling any one of them up and asking them to share my bed would mean 
I have to pay attention to their wants and needs as well, and I 
wasn't in the mood to deal with other people and their wants and 
needs right at that moment.

	I suppose if I called Tails I could get him to just fuck me, 
something I was at least partially in the mood for, but calling in a 
favor like that would still mean interacting with someone.  And it 
would leave me owning him something in the future.  I couldn't figure 
out why I felt the way I did.  I wasn't lonely... I was alone, but 
preferring the solitude.

	I leaned forward, pulled open the bottom drawer on the dresser 
we had set up, the drawer in which we kept the toys, and started 
rummaging.  I found what I was looking for after less than ten 
seconds-- "Ramsey."

	Yes, I sometimes think it's slightly in bad taste to name my 
dildos, but I do.  I also wonder if naming this one "Ramsey" is in 
particularly bad taste.  I suppose I could name it "Paul" but it's 
black, and, well, so is Ramsey.  I could call it "Borodir," but 
Borodir is nowhere near this big.  So "Ramsey" it is.

	"Ramsey" is no beginner's toy; at it thickest it's fully 25 
centimeters in circumference, but it's only about 18 cents tall, 
which is all I need.  I'm not interested in trying to get anything 
deeper into me.  It's the circumference I like to explore and play 
with.

	I closed the drawer, and act which would have stunned P'nyssa; 
I'm always leaving drawers open.  But I needed the floorspace, since 
I don't like doing this on the bed; the enormous mass of the latex is 
already unstable enough.

	The head is tapered, narrowed.  Once that's in though the shaft 
gets thick very quickly, satisfyingly filling me.  Before I began 
playing, though, I remembered to take care of a few primary details.  
I hung my bathrobe up on the coattree we used alternately for cold-
weather jackets (not that it's cold here very often) and drying 
towels, then took two towels out of the clean laundry basket.  One I 
placed on the dresser next to the coattree, the other I opened and 
laid out on the floor.  I also put a bottle of soap into the 
bathrobe's pocket.

	I placed the dildo in the center of the of the towel, kneeling 
before it, placing one knee to either side of it.  I took a deep 
breath and looked down at this threateningly huge faux cock, then 
picked up the bottle of lubricant and squeezed some onto the dildo's 
head.  With my right hand I slathered it down the length of the 
shaft, coating the black column until it gleamed with a strange, 
suggestive light.

	Now that my right hand was thick with lubricant, I reached down 
and  began stroking my own cock.  As I tugged and pulled on the skin, 
I coated it with the slippery gel and I could feel it growing hard 
again under my caresses.  I don't agree with Tails; I like the 
glycerine stuff better than oils.  It's sticky afterwards, but during 
it feels so much better.

	I felt my groin go hot and my cock grow hard.  My balls rose 
upwards in their sac, feeling tight already.  I knew those feelings 
weren't really climactic, that I was far from my orgasm.  It didn't 
matter.  When I play with a big toy, I come fast.

	And it's odd, too, because when I get fisted it's rare that I 
come at all.  Sometimes I do, but it's maybe only a quarter of the 
time.  With "Ramsey," the object is to come, and I come when I want 
to, on my own time.

	I have rules about playing with "Ramsey" too.  The most basic is 
that I want to be hard and excited when I try and fit it into my 
hole.  I want to be ready.

	I also go slow.  Sometimes it takes half an hour to get Ramsey 
into me, and that's not a half hour I begrudge.  I like my asshole; 
it has to last me a long time, and I don't really feel like calling 
some medico to come sew me up because I did something stupid while 
masturbating.

	My cock surged to its full erection, and I could feel the 
tightness coming that meant that my orgasm was possible, if not 
assured.  I arose from my kneel and crawled forwards a few steps.  
Knees to the floor, feet flat behind me, I knelt erect and positioned 
"Ramsey" underneath me, then slowly lowered myself onto it.

	I felt the rubber head press against my backside, slowly sliding 
into that conical valley at the bottom of which lay my asshole.  It 
slipped a little; I reached down with hand to pull it back into 
place.  I didn't press down very hard at all, but just sat there, 
adjusting to the idea that such a blunt object was going to go past 
my sphincter.  I pressed down a little more, and I felt my asshole 
give way just a little, granting just a little more access to my 
insides.

	I stroked my cock and it stayed hard.  I felt my passion rise 
into my chest, and I pressed down a little more on the dildo, and 
felt my opening, my first sphincter, give way just a little.

	Playing with toys these big, I don't even think of it as 
"success" when I get them within me; I just say my asshole gave up 
trying to keep them out.  I'm not forcing anything; I'm just giving 
my hole the time it needs to adjust.

	I lifted off the dildo, pressing up with my right leg to get a 
good look at it.  I dripped more lubricant onto the head and slid 
back down onto the slippery black column.  It pressed up into my 
asshole just a little further then before, but the added lubricant 
made the task of easing my hole open easier.  I raised and lowered my 
hips, fucking myself with the tip of the dildo, pressing in a little 
further with each stroke until I reached the point of pain.  Then I 
eased off, waited while the dildo held me open just so, and then 
tried to reach that limit again.  And this time there was no pain... 
until further.  I stopped and repeated the ritual, letting the flesh 
stretch and relax, stretch and relax.

	It's not unlike doing exercises, really.  Aaden's told me I have 
the tightest asshole he's come across that didn't belong to a virgin, 
and part of that is the exercises I do to keep tight after doing 
these stretches.   I felt the flare of the head press against the 
walls of my outer sphincter.  I knew the tip of the cockhead had 
reached in past the inner ring then, but I was still a way from 
getting the whole thing into me.

	I began a slow, long rising and falling motion, coming all the 
way off the dildo and then plunging back onto it, slowly working it 
deeper into me.  I felt the flare of the cockhead against the walls 
of my anus, and I knew that on the next stroke it would slide inside 
me.  And I was right; as I slid down the cockhead penetrated me 
completely, the shaft sliding past my sphincter.  I let out a sharp 
gasp.

	The shaft widened to its full 25cms quickly, and just as quickly 
I had all 18 cms of depth into me.  That's about all I can take, and 
I'm grateful for the intelligence to not try and take more.

	Although I had paid little attention to it, my cock was still 
completely hard and now I gave it more attention, stroking more 
insistently.  At the same time, I began to fuck myself earnestly with 
the dildo.  It's short enough that when I've got as much as I can 
take my butt is pressed to the base of the toy.  I took it all the 
way out, and then slid it past my sphincter again.  Arching my back 
backwards, I pressed the ridge of the head against my prostate on 
every downstroke.

	My hand became a blur over my cock and I felt my orgasm as an 
imminent event, something that would happen at any second.  But with 
my asshole so open, so relaxed, the muscles of my body don't know how 
to make my groin tense and ready to shoot.  My climax came closer and 
closer, and as I felt the first incredible spasms of ecstasy wash 
over me I pulled completely off the dildo and fell forward, 
supporting myself on my left hand as every muscle clamped shut tight, 
spraying my semen all over the towel.

	I remember moaning; my head swam with the intensity of my orgasm 
as I stroked my cock again and again, milking out every final drop of 
come I could possibly get.  Then I collapsed, rolling over onto my 
butt and sitting down on the towel, sitting in my own little pool of 
come.  

	I just lay there, staring at the huge black shaft of rubber and 
admiring the fact that I had had it inside me just a few seconds 
before.  I lay there catching my breath.  

	Finally, I slowly stood up.  My legs were still wobbly, but I 
would survive.  I bent over and laid the dildo down onto the towel 
and folded the towel over it.  Putting on the bathrobe and grabbing 
the clean towel, I slipped it and the towel with the dildo wrapped 
inside under my arm and made my way for the showers.

	I returned home ten minutes later, feeling cleaner.  I had 
cleaned the dildo off and tossed the soiled towels into one of the 
communal washers.  With care I placed "Ramsey" back where I had found 
it and closed the drawer.  Finally sleepy, I slipped under the covers 
of my bed and closed my eyes as well.  I still felt lonely without 
someone to share company with tonight...

	I smiled.  I was now 'lonely,' rather than alone.  I reached 
over the edge of the bed and found my PADD.  "Lance?"

	"Yes, Ken?"

	"Is Nishipo Parzec busy right now?"

	"He is currently in SDisk Shuttle number four, reviewing a 
maintenance proceeding.  I don't think that qualifies as 'busy.'"

	"Call him, would you?"

	The screen cleared, and his face appeared on it.  "Ken!"

	"Heya, Tails," I said, calling him by his nickname.  "I've got 
an offer for ya."

	"What kind?"

	"I'm heading to bed in a few minutes, and, well, I'd like some 
company.  Just someone to sleep with.  Aaden and Nyss are gone for 
the night.  I, uhm, I'm just kinda lonely and want company."

	"This can wait," he said, nodding his head towards whatever he 
was doing off-camera.  "See you in five minutes?"

	"Thanks," I said.  I occupied myself with reading until he 
showed, and when he clapped I opened my tent flap and let him in with 
a hug.  He kissed my cheek instead.  "Thanks for coming."

	"It's better than sleeping alone," he said.  "I am kinda tired, 
though, so I hope you were serious about the 'just sleep' bit."

	"I was."

	"Lead on, then," he yawned.  I led him into the bedroom, where 
together we undressed him, then we both crawled into bed.  He curled 
up onto his side and I wrapped myself around him.  "Ken?" he 
whispered.

	"Hmm?"

	"What happens when we wake up?"

	"We'll see, won't we?"

	He laughed softly and caressed my arm.  "Yeah, guess we will.  
G'night.  Thanks for the invite."

	"Thanks for accepting.  G'night, Tails."

--
"Planetfall: Ramsey, The Dildo Ramsey."
The Journal Entries of Kennet R'yal Shardik, et. al. 
are copyright (c) 1989-1994 Elf Mathieu Sternberg.  Distribute freely 
via electronic media.  This copyright permits individual users to 
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elf@halcyon.com          Another victim of involuntary performance art. 
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