Date: Mon, 8 Apr 2002 20:50:51 -0700 (PDT) From: rainerotica@yahoo.com Subject: Haven part 1 Hi there, writing to see if everyone's ok, well I'm ok but my heart isn't. It is such an honor to write something like this and I never expected it will be this soon, and I thank my inspiration that brought me into this thanks SD. HAVEN Chapter 1: Adia She's addicted, I'm addicted, I don't know what to do I'm wanting more and more and I breathe very hard, I have this butterfly in my stomach. "Awwwwwwwwwww!!!!!" It hurts so much my mom hit me with a bunch of clothes, all because I didn't check whether her shirt pocket have some pieces of paper and I gave it to the laundry, maybe she has some money left in it. Well anyway, what can I do? I'm frustrated whether my life would make any sense to others or not, it kills me when some of them ignore me like I'm some kind of a dirt. My class started that day, in the morning I see familiar faces, those people whom I cared for and some that are going to be the "add ups" to my life. Saying good morning and smile to those I don't know or waited to be known but I'll try my best to remember their names. The phrase that I hate "remembering names" I'm having so much trouble because of that. My friend once get angry because I kept forgetting her name, sometimes I call her "hey" or "person" and the worst is "what is your name?" my friend Mitch attack me with her teeth that make some bruises on my arm. " Yen! You'll pay for what you've done to me!" " What? Mitch you know that I will not hurt you as long as we're friends, so to speak" " So you don't consider me as a friend" " Of course I do, it's the air that a breathe, the water that I drink and the booger that I pick!" " Ha! Ha! Ha! You're so corny you know that, and you think that it's funny! The booger that I pick, hmmp!" " What's wrong with you?" my eyebrow raised as high as a mountain " You know what you called me?" with that look that can kill a dead fly " Pignose? Bigass? Bighair? What?" with a face sort of thinking " Person! Dumbass! Why do you have to forget my name?" " Because." " Because what?" " Because, I really kept forgetting your name, but you're not the only one, there's... what's her name again?" " Leny! And please Yen practice to remember" " Ok, ok, like it's easy" I let out a tongue The class started, everybody has their own groups and some of them communicate with the other group. It's funny though because they look like they've known each other for so long. The place is like a party some people walk around, some exchange kisses when they met and the boys hang at the back of the seat. You can notice everybody is doing something and talking to someone. `This will going to be a fun semester' I thought. The door opened and I saw a familiar face, I remember that my high school friend will be my classmate for this semester, oh hell this is going to be real fun. I called out! " Raine! Over here!" " Yen!" she smiled walking towards me. We kissed and hugged then we talk about many things. We live in the same state that's why we've known each other for five years and known each other's deepest and darkest secrets, well hers, not much of mine but she knows it somehow. The door swung open, here come 3 girls with a smile on their faces, they walk towards us, and they are Raine's friends last semester, well until now. She introduced me to them. " Yen, these are my friends Tonet, Liz, and Rhys, guys this is Yen my friend since high school" " Hi!" I wave my hand and smile " Hi!" Tonet gives a small smile; Liz gives a warm smile and Rhys giving out a nice wave at the hand So the conversation is going nicely then Mitch came from the outside " Yen!" signaling to come over there " You're the one who need me, you're the one who come here" with that look on her face that says, " I hate You" walk right over " Before anything else I'd like you to meet my friend Raine from high school and her friends Tonet, Liz and what is your name again? Mitch with a grin on her face " Rhys." " Oh right, and Rhys, this is my friend Mitch" they exchange hi's and hello's and Mitch return to me and give me a look that says, " come on!" " If you guys, excuse us for a while" " Sure, not at all" Raine said with a smile " What is wrong with you?" Mitch pointed at someone and I look over the direction and saw Claude her ex-boyfriend talking to his friends. " So?" I said with my eyebrow raised " So, he is still cute, right?" " Oh my god! Mitch get something to fix your eyes on, if not a second longer Claude will be melt as an ice" I told her with disgust. " And so what, I like him that way and always will" " You're still in love with him, are you?" she nods and lean against me, I felt her giggle by my side " Get a grip, find another boyfriend" " Oh yeah, why don't I do that" with a smile on her face " You're sick you know that" we return to the class and not a minute longer our professor walk right in and orient us. It's the first day of classes that's why we don't do much for the rest of the day. All I do is sit next to Mitch and of course it's kind of boring, I guess? But I hug her every now and then that makes her body move like a tortured kitten. I'm quite large but it just suite my height that is 5'8 and attract every body with my large breast not so large just sexy enough to show my shape. I have short hair that can use some designs on it, in short I'm beautiful, talk about self- confidence. The whole day my eyes is fixed on Tonet and appreciate her body, it's not perfect but her shoulder looks nice and her height is just perfect for her and she's beautiful too, but her hair is stiff and need some relaxing. I told Mitch about it, she doesn't agree much because she prefers the character than the features. Even though it's only the first time we officially met, I knew Tonet by face I recognize her because of her body but I don't think of her after that, and I didn't expect to be her classmate. I'm a bisexual I know that since I'm little and now that I'm older I guess I can call myself as a lesbian I became more attracted to women every year of my life. But nobody knows it until now I'm afraid to face the consequences but sometimes I show it without anyone noticing it. My mom suspects it, even Mitch, I think she knows but she doesn't mind, I know she's a bisexual but he just have relationship with guys. And me I have a boyfriend once but we didn't last, our relationship last for 1 day, if you call it a relationship, and we never speak to each other again. " Hey, what are you thinking?" suddenly a hand waiving in front of me " Huh?" I said after coming back to the world " You're odd you know that, sometimes you're very noisy then suddenly you stop and stare from far away," said a familiar voice " She does it all the time, ever since, that's her hobby" " Oh shut up Raine! I know a lot about you than you to me" I glared " Fine, fine it doesn't need to go to that part of my story" " I'm sorry, I just been disturbed from my daydreaming" I smiled at Tonet " Oh, and that is my fault?" Tonet with a stare " Ok stop it guys, it's just the first day, you don't have to argue so fast" Mitch pulling me to go home " Guys see you tomorrow!" I called " Ok! Take care!" they yelled back While we walk Mitch is looking at me, looks like she knows something that I don't know. I ignored her as we kept walking, the usual position our arms crossed while we were walking and looking for someone we knew. We wave as we saw someone, feeling like a celebrity with a touch of miss friendship at the side. We kept walking and she kept staring with a grim smile. " What are you trying to prove with that look? You're so annoying you know that?" " I know." She said with a smile like insulting me with all her might and it's working. We reach the waiting shed and wait for the taxi to take home Mitch. Her home is miles from school and I just live in a nearby boarding house. We kissed on the cheeks and she buzzes off. I got home pretty exhausted from the day and lay on the bed. " Hi! How's your day?" Tim said, she is my roommate, she and I are friends since elementary and we are godsisters so I treated her as my younger sister since I'm one year older than her but we are in the same level. " Good" I said. She is on the second deck of the bed and she just kept quite and later on fell asleep same as me. Chapter 2: Cry In places no one would find, all your feelings so deep inside, was there that I realize, that forever was in your eyes the moment I saw you cry. Mitch cried that morning when she saw Claude with the other woman; I comfort her and give her advises that a friend should give. " That bitch, once I lay my hands on her she will be in a complete wreck" she said with her fist closed " Will you please get over it, you're over reacting again" " I don't care!" " Ok, fine!" We went in our room, we saw Tonet crying and she just keep quiet while Raine, Liz and Rhys tell something to her. We want to come there to know what's happening but we thought to just leave them alone. The lesson went quite well and the eyes of my two friends are swollen and red because of crying. I went over to Raine and ask her. " Hey!" " Hey!" " What is wrong with Tonet?" " She just broke up with Haj" My heart leap a bit, feeling sympathy, she have the same problem with Mitch. Well I thought I could help them with that maybe give her some piece of advice and tell her she's not the only one who is in grieve. I walk over to Tonet. " Hey, are you alright?" " Yes" she sobbed a little, I want to tell her what I think but I hesitated a minute she looked at me and " Do you want to tell me something?" " Ah, umm, er, YES" " Then what is it?" " I know what you've been going through and. I just want to tell you that you're not alone" " Did you break up with your boyfriend too?" " Actually it's not me, it's Mitch" " Oh, and she told you everything" " In other way, yeah" I told her with assurance. She smiled at me and told me everything, why they broke up and the reason why she is crying right now. I told her that they have the really same problem with Mitch and she looked at me with a doubt look. I told her that there is no difference I assure her, I even told her that she talk with Mitch. Our conversation goes well and I figure out that she is kind and cool, she's fun to be with, and for that, I liked her. We got to know each other and we even had lunch with the whole group, the day is fun and we can't talk about something that we don't laugh at. It's very enjoying, we talk almost anything and everything under the sun, but we get serious sometimes when we talk about studies. And the funny part of the whole story is that we talk about our past relationship with guys. How they kissed and even what they do when they are with their parents and how they hide it when they kissed. We laugh and laugh until we get to the topic that are very complicated. " Yen, why don't you come to my condo and sleep there I don't have any companions for tonight" Raine said " Where is your brother?" " He went home" " Sure, I'll rent some Vcd's and come by around 8" " Ok, see you tonight, bye!" " Bye!" I went home and told Tim that I was going to stay the night over Raine's condo. She said yes and I packed my clothes, then went to the video house and rent videos entitled IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK 2 and ROCKY 5, I hesitated to rent the first one and told myself what the hell, Raine is bisexual and that is her secret. I smiled and said this is going to be fun. So I went to Raine's condo and talk a bit then I told her to watch the movies I rent. She picked the first one over Rocky, and asks me what is the theme and told her its about lesbians; she just smiled and opens the computer and start it playing. The first story is boring and we almost fell asleep because it's about 2 women who grow old together, that's why we don't have any interest about it. The second story is nice we look at it and its about college students with Michelle Williams and Chloe Sevigny. When we saw Chloe dressed like a man Raine and I rush toward the computer and we laid our eyes to Chloe. " Oh my God, she is so cute, if a woman approach me with a look like that I will not going to have any second thought and I'll grab her right into my arms" " Really Yen? I never thought that you will get into that point," Yes Raine and I have been a friend for five years but she doesn't know that I'm a lesbian, and she looked me in the eye almost like taking my clothes off and want to grab me any moment now. " Why are you looking at me like that? She just look like a man, that's all" I reason out, I denied it once again and it kills me. " Oh, ok!" we continue to watch and as the story goes on we felt that we are wide awake when it comes to the sex part and we smiled to each other with a grim on the face. After that we insert another movie and Raine fell asleep because she can't stay awake for Rocky. I almost fell asleep and I turned off the computer and lay beside Raine. I want to make you hang for a moment there and turn your expectation to something different don't worry we'll get there. Please tell me what you think this is my email add: havenantoine@hotmail.com or rainerotica@yahoo.com