Date: Thu, 31 Jan 2002 02:48:09 -0800 (PST) From: Nyann Subject: The Moment of Truth If you are of illegal age, go find some site with games. If descriptions of tenderness between two adult women turn you off, stop reading, I will not be held responsible for your partner's complaints. If you passed the above checks, sit back and enjoy! You may also take notes and let me know your comments. THE MOMENT OF TRUTH "C'mon, Robin, we're gonna be late!" said a bit impatiently Layla sitting on an armchair with her legs crossed, waiting for me to finally get ready. She was one of the most beautiful creatures I've ever met in my life, not because of her looks, mostly for her heart and soul. When after graduation I joined the lawyer's office she also worked for, I was not only a novice there, I was also new in town. And she was the first person that offered me a friendly and understanding face in the time, when I felt completely lost. I guess being four years older was not too much for her to still remember how it feels like, when college spits you out in the rough world and faces you with a survival fight. She helped me with my work, helped me find this great apartment I lived in, and above all she helped me with recognizing what I want and who I want to become. She became my best friend in these five years, and hopefully, if I would be able to hide my real feelings for her, it would stay like this forever. I can't recall exactly, when the awareness of my feelings for her started. Maybe it was when she told me, she's going on a business trip with one of the colleagues, that was generally considered a real skirt chaser and I felt jealous of him. Or maybe that time, when going to work I slipped on ice and her arms prevented me from falling, sending powerful pins and needles down my spine. But I think it really started that rainy evening two years ago, when we were celebrating my first independent court victory in my new apartment. In the moment, when during a late into night talk she admitted, she's obviously unable to find a perfect companion in her life. The moment in which I wanted to embrace her, and tell her I want to be it. "I don't know why you want to go to this silly party anyway!" I replied couple of minutes later, when I entered the living room, ready to leave. "We already know almost all the people, that will be there, we are looking at their faces every day in the office, and now you want to be with them also out of working time?" "Hey, it's Dwight's birthday, and you know Dwight's parties are always interesting!" She didn't sound convincing and we both knew it. "What's interesting about Dwight's parties? Do we have the same Dwight in our minds?" I smiled at her. "OK, you are right, it will probably be the same old bore again." she admitted with resigned-to-her-fate voice. "Then, why do you want to go so desperately?" "Because! Because it's Friday evening, and we have nothing better to do!" she answered with affected stubbornness of a little child. Well, I could come up with at least two dozen of better things to do, but something was telling me it's better if I keep my mouth shut. Besides, I would be happy with one thing only and it would mean a world to me. "We can at least TRY to have some fun!" she continued. To be honest, I could never really oppose her. If she would suggest a flight on a Moon, I would probably go to the nearest travel agency, to inquire our possibilities. I was wondering sometimes, if I even had a spine of my own. Well, I guess I did, I did know my place and mission in my life now, but with her around, my spine somehow turned into jelly, ready to spread all over her. Still, we liked to play these have-words games with each other, and I was willing to go along again. "We could also have fun watching some TV and eat some junk food at home!" I suggested. "Do you think I got all dressed up like this for watching TV?" Looking at her washed off jeans and a sweat shirt we both laughed. Yet, regardless what she was wearing, somehow she always managed to look elegant. "Besides, we would miss the chance to be social, to meet new people!" She sounded like my older sister, trying to be serious, but her smiling eyes were giving her away. "Do we need to meet new people?" I asked standing in front of her, observing her dark brown hair, smoothly combed into tuft at the back of her head. I caught myself thinking about how it would feel to caress it, when she rose her gaze directly into my eyes. I suddenly became aware, my voice was hoarse with the last question. Still smiling, she softly asked: "Don't you want to share me with other people?" Oh my God! There it was again! This disarming feeling of shiver overwhelming me. *Please, stop looking daggers at me with those beautiful eyes!* I was trying to make her hear my thoughts, but she either didn't read them or decided to ignore me. I felt approaching a shaky territory, I wasn't sure anymore, this was still a game we were playing. But, it was safer for me to continue the conversation in belief, we WERE. "No!" I wanted my voice to sound jolly, but wanting it was all that worked. And was it really necessary for my to lean forward and place my hands on the arms of a chair she was sitting in? Probably not, but I was there now, my face dangerously close to hers, too late for regrets. I don't know for how long we were staring at each other, as well as I don't know, whether I was happy or angry when the phone rang. Explaining to the person on the other side of the wire, that he probably dialed 4 instead of 7, I slowly became aware of the danger, I found myself in. My brain perceived a strange feeling in my lower abdomen, telling me that without this interruption I was in a great risk to lose a friend. During talking to the nameless person I slowly pulled myself together. I was still afraid to look into Layla's eyes, afraid she might read in them the reflection of my desires, so after hanging up I gave her a glance only. But my look returned to her when I realized she hasn't moved a bit in all this time. She was staring through the wall, looking at some shapeless distant point out of my apartment, with an inexpressive mask on her face. *Did I hurt her? Did I come too close? Did I offend her?* I got scared this innocent game went too far, I didn't really know what to do or say to make her feel better, so I decided to ignore this uneasy feeling in me, pretending like nothing really happened. As far as I wanted to believe, nothing actually did. "Ready to go?" I finally asked, heading for the door. "Would you mind, if we didn't go?" her voice forged me on to the spot. I turned toward her. "No!... It's you who wanted to go in the first place... But..." I was angry with myself, I obviously did something wrong to turn this whole situation upside down. "Would you mind telling me why this sudden change?" "Yes." She finally looked at me. I spotted a tear in her eye and my legs got all soft. *Damn, I DID offend her! Now she will tell me, we have to stop seeing each other this often, if what she noticed in my eyes was true!* "What's wrong Layla?" I asked without being sure I wanted to hear the answer. But she didn't answer. She just sat there, gazing at me, immovably crying for... help? What sort of help? I decided to disconnect the thinking part of my brain again, approached her and kneeled with one leg in front of her. More countless moments passed before she raised her hand, and brushed a curl of hair off my face. I froze, not knowing what to do. My first reaction would be to grab her into my arms, but I managed to withhold myself somehow. "Robin..." she almost whispered. *Is it my turn to say something now? Was there more to come from her?* While I was trying to conceive a reasonable reaction, she spoke again, in the same half-whispering voice. "I don't understand, what's happening to me, and I don't want to lose you over it, but... You have to know... To decide how to go on... Earlier, when you were so close to me..." She was looking for appropriate words, that seemed to find their way from out of her lips with great difficulty as it was. Was she trying to be gentle at her refusal? "Do you remember, when I was telling you, I'm obviously unable to find a companion of my life?" she decided to change the tactics. If I remembered!! I simply nodded, being afraid of what was about to come out of her mouth. "You know I had relationships in my life," she continued, "but something was always missing! I didn't really know what... until few minutes ago." *My God, is she telling me, what I think she's telling me?* I had to be sure. "What are you saying, Layla?" "I'm saying..." she stopped again to find the words, but instead, with rising astonishment in my eyes, she leaned toward me, and softly skimmed my lips with hers. Then she withdraw in fear, to observe my reaction. There I was, for two years trying to lock the deepest feelings for her inside me, and she needed couple of minutes to admit it. Yes, that was definitely my Layla! She put everything we've shared so far at risk to follow her instincts and desires. For two years I was afraid to say something stupid, even in a joke, something that might would have led her mind to the correct conclusions. For two years I was afraid to be in direct physical contact with her, even if it would have been only for a friendly hug, and now she was telling me, I'm making her experience something that was missing in her past relationships? Was I a complete idiot or what!! "I'm sorry, Robin, I guess there ARE more diplomatic ways of telling you this, and I understand you're shocked over it. Probably we should forget this event as soon..." She misunderstood my hesitating. "Layla!" I almost roughly interrupted her storm of words. "Layla," I tried again more softly, "you did shock me, but not in the way you think! You see... I... " The words deserted ME this time. I raised my hand to her face, to brush her lips with my fingers. It took her couple of moments to fully understand my reaction, to respond. She leaned forward and slowly our lips met again. They were hardly touching, fondling each other with breeze-like kisses. But we wanted, needed more. She embraced my face with her hands, and all of a sudden her lips were all over mine, her tongue in my mouth. Or was it mine in hers? It was like we couldn't kiss deeply enough, we were totally lost in passion. As she slid off the armchair and snuggle up to me, I felt her breasts pressing against mine, and in this moment I lost the awareness of time and space. I felt her hands going under my pullover, and I didn't want to lag behind, I wanted to feel her bare back under my fingers, too. Very soon all our clothes were history, we were lying on the floor, her naked body partly covering mine, and her hands driving me crazy. I could feel her pubic hair and her wetness on my thigh, and her knee between my legs. But not for a single moment we stopped kissing. Entwined like this, we started to thrust our hips toward each other, and newly awaken lust was precipitately rising us higher, until I heard a loud moan coming out of her mouth. And a stifled scream almost along with it. So I guess one of them was a release of my explosion. I didn't know, I didn't care. Everything in me refused the obedience, and all I could do for minutes after it, was trying to catch my breath. And it sounded like Layla was in the same ecstasy. We were lying embraced, slowly calming down. The belt from her jeans under me was stabbing me in the back, but I didn't feel like moving to displace it, I didn't want to risk ruining this pleasant position we were in. Our bodies were stuck together with sweat, and every time Layla moved a bit, I could feel a small pond between our navels. Her hair, disheveled over my face now, was ticking me, so I had to sneeze. This brought us back to reality. She leaned on her elbow, and gazed at me with a loving smile on her face. "My dear Robin," she said softly and kissed my shoulder, "what's happening to us?" She was not really expecting an answer to her question, it was more like thinking out loudly. But I wanted to talk, I wanted to hear with my ears, what happened was not a dream, not an illusion. I needed to know, this angel in human shape shared with me the most intimate and beautiful experience of my life. "Yes, WHAT is happening to us, Layla?" I smiled back, caressing her cheek with the back of my fingers. Looking me directly in the eyes, she shook her head, and said more seriously: "I don't know what's happening, but I DO know, I have never experienced such an accomplished act of love. If we would have known each other for a short time only, I would say we got lost in passion, being submissive to our physical attraction, but..." she kissed my nipple now, "but since we've been best friends for such a long time..." She stopped her words again, playing with her fingers on my tummy, lingering on my pubic hair, and stroking my thighs with her nails. I was hanging on every word she was saying, waiting for the right ones to come out. And when she finally said them, tears came to my eyes. She was sipping them as they slid down my cheeks, softly whispering my name with it. I embraced her tightly, sobbing the same words in her ear. She moved on me completely, letting loose a stifle moan as I ran over her back with my fingers and reached the cheeks of her rear. She slowly started to move up and down, rubbing me softly with her breasts, belly, pubic bone... and I started to feel weakness all over again. She lifted her head to look at me, and I realized, in a few moments we would be lost in passion again. We were both too weak to fight it, and, nevertheless, why fight it? It took us too much time to find each other, now it was our time to live it!