Date: Fri, 19 Jan 2007 13:30:18 -0500
From: Rogue Writer <roguewriter@hotmail.com>
Subject: Trust Comes Easy pt 2

TRUST COMES EASY part 2
By Rogue Writer

(FF, FFF, exhibitionism, toys, threesome, drugs, violence, death,
destruction of a high-grade printer)

AUTHOR NOTE: If you like this hilariously grim little tale, read some of my
other equally uninspired fiction:

After the Party
Daphne's New Life
How I Spent My Summer Vacation by Carol Hitchcock
A Death, Baked Bob, and the Personal Ad
Screwing My Ex

They came out in that order, and according to one reader I got better as I
went along, so do yourself a favor and read them in order to avoid getting
disappointed by my early lack of skills.  Please send feedback to
roguewriter@hotmail.com.

DISCLAIMER: Pay attention!  This story is fiction and not meant to do
anything more than entertain, don't read this stuff with any intention
other than having a good time, don't take life too seriously and don't swim
after you've just eaten.  Isn't it stupid that I have to write these
warnings in case someone goes out and does something bad because of what
they read in my story?  What's happened in our society to cause this?  I
know, I know, lawsuit-happy people and the lawyers who run commercials that
inspire them.  Now you have to put warning labels on everything.  And I
understand that some things need warning labels.  Hydrochloric acid -- big
warning label on that one.  With letters four feet tall.  But I don't need
a cup of coffee with a warning label that says it's hot.  I know it's hot.
I wanted it hot!  Well, not that hot.  I take it light, actually.


II. It's All Downhill From Here

6.

Amanda was playing on the Internet.  She had told Kaye and Maggie she
needed to get some work done on her laptop, and that's why she couldn't go
food shopping with them.  What she really needed to do was keep out of the
public eye.  Sure, her face had changed and she had good fake documents,
but her fingerprints hadn't changed and if they got arrested for any reason
she was screwed.  This was the first time she'd been on American soil in
four years, ever since she boarded the boat of that Gold woman.

Four years.  Four years on the run.  Four years of swindling people.  Of
feasting at a fancy restaurant in the company of a mark one night and
eating a piece of bread all alone in some dingy apartment the next.  Four
years of looking over her shoulder, of getting nervous every time she saw a
cop, of fighting the urge to run down the fire escape every time there was
a knock at the door.  Four years of having sex with people, some beautiful
and some disgusting, but always because she needed something from them.
That was the worst of it all -- four years of having no power.  In all that
time, fear and helplessness and desperation were all she'd known.  Sure,
there were times she'd had it good.  Eight months living in a villa with
some rich count, but at that point she was even less than the hired help.
She was just some sex puppet.  The count had all the power, and he never
let Amanda forget it.

All these thoughts brought tears to Amanda's eyes.  If she had known what
these past four years would be like back when she had used the knife on
Dr. Sara Gold, she would have used it on herself instead.  But not much
longer now and she would have power.  As soon as Maggie and Kaye left she
checked to see if it was still there, and it was.  Her power.  After four
years it was still there.  Amanda could just take it and leave like she had
planned.  Yet something kept her there.

Not something.  Maggie.

An intelligent, resourceful, spitfire of a girl, one who'd had things
thrown at her in life which would have broken most people.  Maggie had
gotten past all that and conquered it.  And at one point Amanda had her.
Maggie was her sex puppet, and a very special one.  It's easy to have some
bimbo or idiot on a leash, keeping them around as a toy.  Types like that
deluded themselves into thinking sex gave them power, right up to the
moment they were replaced for someone younger and hotter.

But Maggie was different.  Not so easily fooled, and never self deluded.
Maggie could have real power if she wanted; she had the focus, knew how to
work for things and obviously had the ability to do whatever it took to get
there.  She just had no ambition.  Maggie was content with her worker bee
job and living in an apartment with an oversexed schoolteacher.  Playing
house when she could be playing hardball.  To have someone with Maggie's
potential as a toy, that represented true power.  And that was something
Amanda wanted.  There was only one obstacle...all she had to do was take
Kaye out of the way and she was sure Maggie would break.  Just take Kaye
out of the way...

No.  That was the Stupid Move, like her father taught her.  She'd spend a
few more hours here, enjoy fucking around with Maggie and her bitch some
more, and then she would leave.  That was the smart move.  Now if Maggie
could just avoid doing anything stupid...


7.  "Kaye, listen, I know you're angry..."

We were sitting in the car, parked outside the supermarket.  But I'm
getting ahead of myself.  Half an hour earlier we were inside said
supermarket, where I was pushing a cart without watching where I was going,
my mind trying to figure out how to tell Kaye just enough truth to get her
on my bandwagon of throwing Amanda out on her ass.  At the same time, I
needed to keep her away from some other truth that would make her throw my
ass out just as quickly.  I didn't believe for one second that Amanda was
planning on leaving later that day like she'd told us, and I feared that
whatever reason she was here somehow put Kaye and I in danger.

Kaye was two feet ahead of me, tossing whatever caught her eye in the cart;
blissfully ignorant of the huge weight my mind was trying to softly drop on
her.  I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't notice Kaye had
stopped and I bumped into her.

"Hey!"

"Sorry," I said.  "Next time put on your brake lights."

"Like this?"  She pulled up her short skirt and flashed me her beautiful
ass, complete with butterfly tattoo and the string from her dental floss
undies almost invisible between her cheeks.  I had wondered why she put on
a skirt this morning.  She usually went food shopping in a T-shirt and
jeans.

Kaye asked, "Does Amanda like sweet cereal or healthy wheat shit?"

"I don't know.  It's been four years."

She turned and stared at me like I just tried to change a color in the
spectrum.

"Healthy wheat shit."

She rolled her eyes and tossed a box of healthy wheat shit in the cart.  I
shook my head and mumbled, "No wonder you were tubby as a kid."

As we turned the corner into the next aisle Kaye let me pass and then came
up behind me.  Her hand slid under the back of my shirt and snaked around
my side, simultaneously pressing her body up against mine and whispering
into my ear.  "How hot was last night?"

"Pretty fucking hot."

Kaye's hand moved up to my breast.  I wasn't wearing a bra and I shuddered
as her fingers brushed lightly against the bottom of my bare globe.  "Did
you get turned on watching me with Amanda?"

"Yes," I had to admit as she started toying with my nipple.  My eyes darted
to the end of the empty aisle, where people faced away from us at the
checkout line.

Kaye said, "Because watching you with her drove me crazy.  And I mean the
really good kind of crazy."

She pinched my nipple and stuck her tongue in my ear.  I gasped as I moved
my hand under her skirt, pressing against the inside of her left leg and
slowly moving my way up.  When she moaned in my ear it sounded like a
bullhorn.  My fingers touched the material of her panties and --

"Ahem."

We both half spun and saw an old woman standing there with her cart.  She
had an annoyed look on her face.

I said, "Sorry."  We turned and made a beeline for the end of the aisle.

We were in the frozen food section when I worked up enough courage to ask,
"So are you pissed at me?"

"Why would I be pissed at you?"

"You know, not telling you about my past."

Kaye shrugged.  Without looking at me she said, "I'm not thrilled about
it," she paused, "but I understand."

Despite her words I could tell it was really bothering her, and that meant
she was lying to me.  Even if it was a little one, even if it was to
protect my feelings or just to avoid getting into an argument, this was the
first time I knew Kaye wasn't being straight with me.  It hurt, and then it
hurt even more because I thought about how she must have felt last night,
and how she was probably going to feel when I dropped the next bomb on her.

We'd just finished loading the groceries in the car when I realized it was
now or never.  I kept trying to think of the exact words to use, how to say
it so it wouldn't sound as bad as it was.

When we got in I was on the driver's side, Kaye was in the passenger seat.
I put the keys in the ignition, then stopped and pulled my hand away.
Turned and looked at her.  She looked at me.  I opened my mouth to speak.

Before I got out the first sound she was kissing me.

I wasn't going to argue.  Luckily we had parked on the side of the
supermarket, in a lot that wasn't used as much.  It's always awkward having
sex in a car, and ours was meant for the rule rather than the exception.
There was no way anyone's mouth was going to anyone else's puss.  But Kaye
opened the button and zipper of my cargo pants and slid her hand inside,
rubbing her fingers over my shaved mound.  With her other hand she pulled
up my Goldfinger T-shirt and exposed my breasts.  I had a few other tattoos
and piercings Robert Hanson didn't know about but would probably still
hate, like the tattoo of a ring of thorns around my bellybutton, or the
silver rings in both my nipples.  Kaye starting licking around the globe of
my right breast, slowly working her way towards the center where her tongue
played with my nipple ring.  She sucked in my nipple, ring and all, and the
feeling was beautifully intense.

"Oh Pookie," I called out.  "Oh baby."

I, meanwhile, slid my hand up and down her bare legs to start getting her
worked up.  Kaye finished playing with my breast and started kissing me
again.  Down below, her fingers slid into my lips and found them soaking
wet.  Her fingers gave me such pleasure, sliding all over the sensitive
skin, each movement causing a jolt of pleasure through my body.  She found
my clit ring and tugged on it, causing me to break the kiss and yell out a
sharp cry.

"I want you in me," she breathed.  I brought my hand between her legs and
pulled her pelvic dental floss out of the way.  She spread her legs and I
pressed the palm of my hand against her cunt, and she responded by pressing
back against my hand.  My fingers slid into her folds, and then came to her
clit, where the tips of my digits started rubbing fiercely.

Kaye brought her fingers to my slit and worked them inside of me.  "Let's
come together," I said, and slowly slid my fingers inside of her.  We began
to pump each other while our thumbs worked our clits.

"Oh!" Kaye exclaimed when I hit her clit just right.  "Right there!"

I continued to work that spot as I stared into her eyes.  Kaye stared back,
her mouth hanging open as each breath became labored.  We handled each
other the same way I handle my violin, with the knowing touch of someone
who has practiced for years.  Kaye and I spent lots of time practicing.
Our breathing was getting loud, pierced by grunts and groans that marked
when we touched a spot just right, hitting a sweet note that caused both of
us pleasure.

"Harder," she cried.  I pushed a little more with each thrust, watching as
her eyes squeezed shut and her mouth hung open, eliciting the cries of
pleasure.  My fingers moved in and out of her smooth walls, lubricated by
the secretions I'd caused.  Suddenly I felt the wave building and my eyes
closed tight, I gritted my teeth and heard my breath whistle between them.

"Faster!" I called.  Kaye complied and her fingers picked up the pace that
my body called for.  I felt the electricity flowing within me, that pulse
of natural excitement nothing else compares to.

Kaye yelled, "Harder!"  At this point I lost all concern about hurting her
and pounded away.

"Ah!  Ah!  Ah!  Ah!" was all Kaye could say after that.

She went first, shaking so hard she accidentally popped me in the chin with
her shoulder.

"Sorry!" she said.  I told her that's okay and not to stop.  It wasn't much
longer before I felt the crest of the wave break and wash down pleasure all
over me.  We sat there breathing heavily, our faces up against one another
as much for support as for cuddling.  Then we kissed.

"That was great," I said.

"Yeah, intense."

We put ourselves back together and then shared a cigarette.

"I was thinking," Kaye said.

"Is that what I smelled?"

"Shut up.  I was thinking we should invite Amanda to the party tonight.
Maybe that way she'd stay afterwards and we could have some more fun."
Kaye gave a wide smile, the I-really-want-this-so-don't-turn-me-down smile.

"Um, you think we should?  She's probably got to get going.  Back to work
and all."

"Really?  She told me she's on vacation.  Kind of just going around seeing
people she hasn't seen in a while.  No real plans, just dropping in, that
way it's not 'We'll try to get together next month.'  She can probably stay
as long as she wants.  And that's why I was thinking...if we get her to
stay another night, maybe we could get another girl involved and make it a
foursome!  Wouldn't that be great?"

Suddenly I realized there was no way of saying what I needed to without
making Kaye angry with me.  I just had to say it and get it over with.  And
hope that I didn't just experience the last time I'd ever make love to her.

Kaye was still engrossed in thoughts of an orgy.  "How many people do you
think we can fit in our shower?"

"Amanda's a wanted woman."

Kaye smiled.  "Yeah, and after last night I can see why."

"No, Kaye.  She's a wanted woman."

Kaye is no idiot.  I just caught her off guard.  Her smile slowly dropped
as her mind took in my words.  Then in a slow, measured tone, she said,
"You mean by the police, don't you?"

I nodded.  "And the FBI."

Her mouth hung open and her eyes slowly drifted away from me, off somewhere
to my right.  I had a natural urge to keep talking, to break the silence,
to prompt her to say something so I had a gauge as to how much trouble I
was in.  But my instincts told me to keep my mouth shut.  The less I said,
the less chance of saying more than I wanted to.

Finally her eyes came back to me, and when they did it felt like razors
were going right through me.  "When exactly were you going to tell me about
this?"

"I'm telling you now."

She nodded.  "And not last night, as soon as you saw who it was."

"I was caught off guard.  She was the last person I expected to see.  Hell,
I thought she'd never set foot in this country again.  Word was she'd gone
to Mexico."

Kaye looked down and nodded silently.  Then she was quiet.  Panic started
sweeping through me more than if she had been screaming.

Finally Kaye asked, "What did she do, exactly?"

"It's kind of complicated."

Kaye turned to me.  "Complicated like a fugitive criminal hanging out in
our apartment?"

"I didn't mean I wasn't going to explain it, I just wanted to warn you."

"Consider me warned.  Now explain it."

I took a breath.  This was the part where I had to be careful.  "Just let
me start from the beginning.  When I met Amanda I was in my third year of
school.  She was working as a trader at some huge firm on Wall Street, and
after I graduated she asked me to move in with her.  After what happened
with my folks I wasn't very into trusting people.  But I had feelings for
her.  Finally I figured I needed to take the chance, nothing risked nothing
lost and all that, so I said yes."

"And it was good for the most part.  Sometimes she'd come home and want us
to go out to the clubs when I had all this homework, but living in one
place meant getting to spend more time together since one of us didn't have
to hoof it across town.  Then a few months later she started
acting...strange.  Sometimes she was excited like a kid on Christmas
morning, smiling and getting giddy over the smallest things.  We'd go out
and she'd buy drinks for everyone we were hanging out with, like she had
something to celebrate.  Other times she seemed nervous or scared, paranoid
too.  Someone would knock on the door of the apartment and she'd make me
answer it while she stayed in the kitchen.  Later it occurred to me that
the kitchen window led to the fire escape."

I looked at Kaye.  Her eyes were staring at me intently.  "Amanda was that
way for about two weeks.  Then one day I came home and the door was open,
and there were a couple of police officers and a bunch of guys in suits
going through everything in the apartment.  They were from the SEC.  That's
the Securities and Exchange Commis-"

Kaye held up her hand to stop me.  "I know who they are, thank you."

I swallowed.  "They asked me to go with them to the police station.  I
spent ten hours in an interrogation room answering questions.  One question
they kept coming back to was if I knew where Amanda was.  I told them she
left for work that morning and I hadn't seen her since, but I think it took
a while before they believed me.  Then they explained that there was an
arrest warrant for her.  Apparently..." I shrugged.  "I don't know exactly
how it worked.  You know me and finance."

"Yeah, you think the record keeping part of a checkbook is a place to
doodle.  So tell me already, what did she do?"

"Amanda and two others she worked with, this guy and this girl, stole money
from their clients."

Kaye snorted.  "That's real original."

I shook my head.  "That's not all of it.  They stole the money in order to
finance an insider trading deal.  The girl's dad worked for some
pharmaceutical company and he knew about this upcoming merger that meant
big money for anyone holding stock in the company.  Amanda and the others
invested two hundred thousand and walked away with two million."

Kaye sat back.  "Holy shit, I remember that one.  It was on the news.
Didn't the other two get caught?  Then the guy committed suicide, right?"

I nodded.  "Just before the trial.  And the girl got sentenced to something
crazy like fifteen years.  I remember thinking that I'd heard of murderers
getting less time."

"Makes for an important lesson.  Don't fuck with the rich and their money."

I grunted.  "Anyway, it took some time to convince the cops I didn't know
anything about it.  They let me go, but for the next few months I could
swear they were following me.  And every couple of weeks they would stop
by, checking up, asking if I'd heard from Amanda.  Even after I moved to
Jersey."  I shook my head.  "In fact, the last time they stopped by was
only two months before we started dating."

She didn't respond to that, so I didn't say anything more.  Just gave her
time to digest.  Which gave me time to realize that tomorrow's marriage
proposal would have to be put off for a while, at least until I got her to
trust me again.  Maybe a couple of weeks, or was that too hopeful?  Maybe I
should just tell her what I was planning.

"Kaye, listen, I know you're angry..."

Kaye shook her head.  "Maggie, I can't have this get public.  I'm a fucking
schoolteacher.  Never mind the lesbian thing, if I get connected with a
wanted felon..."

"I know."

"We have to tell her to leave."

I sighed.  "I know.  But I have to warn you, she's dangerous.  Last night I
slipped out of bed to go through her bag, try and see what she's up to, and
she caught me."

Kaye's face went from anger to concern.

"Nothing happened, but...she's changed Kaye.  We need to be careful when we
go back."

"Should we get a weapon?" Kaye asked.  I stared at her.  She rolled her
eyes.  "Just to threaten with.  You know how I feel about violence."

I reached into my jacket and took out a folding knife.  It was a one-handed
open, so when my finger touched the latch it sprang to full length.  Kaye
jumped.  She stared at the three inches of the gleaming blade.  "Where the
fuck did you get that?"

I looked at her.  "A little leftover from my days on the road."

"Jesus Christ," she said.  "I'm dating fucking Xena."


8.  When we got back to the apartment and Amanda was on the couch, reading
one of the Roman history books.  She got up and helped us put away the
groceries.  I made small talk with her while Kaye gave her total
concentration to what she was doing.  She didn't even look at Amanda once.
Amanda's face gave no indication of whether or not she noticed the elephant
in the room, or if it even bothered her.

I spent the entire time feeling every muscle in my body tighten, and each
breath I took felt labored and strained.  The knife sat in the pocket of my
cargo pants, where I could feel the weight of it when I turned a certain
way.  It gave me comfort and made me nervous at the same time.  And there
was more than just the physical danger, there was the very real possibility
that Amanda would follow through on her threat from last night by telling
Kaye things I didn't want her to know, things that would put my marriage
proposal off indefinitely.

When we were done the three of us walked back into the living room and
Amanda said to Kaye, "She told you, didn't she?"

Kaye finally looked at Amanda.  "Yes, she did.  So I hope you don't think
it rude of me to ask you to get the hell out of my place."

Amanda nodded.  "That's fine, I understand."

She went over to her bag and started packing.  I was amazed she was going
so easily, without putting up a big fight.  The look on Kaye's face said
she was amazed too.  "Can we...help you with anything?"

"No thanks," Amanda said.  "I'm used to clearing out fast.  Life of a
fugitive and all."

Within a minute she was packed and ready.  Amanda stopped in front of us
and said, "Sorry if I caused you any trouble," then headed to the door.  I
looked at Kaye and she shrugged.  We turned and watched Amanda go.  The
second her hand touched the doorknob I breathed a silent sigh of relief.
Amanda stopped, almost like she had heard the sigh, like that was what she
had been waiting for.

And that's when I knew I was fucked.

Amanda said, "Maggie said she told you everything."  She turned to Kaye.
"But are you sure she told you 'everything'?"

"I..." Kaye started, and then stopped.  I saw something in her eyes that
scared me.  With all the crazy shit that ended up coming down that day,
nothing shook me more than what I saw in her eyes.  I saw doubt.

Amanda took a few steps towards us.  "For instance, did she tell you how we
met?"  She stared at Kaye.  "Hmm, I guess she didn't."

Suddenly I realized my hand was in my pocket, gripping the knife.  I wasn't
sure exactly when I put it in there.  Normally I'm not a violent person,
but it seemed Amanda brought out the worst in me.  A decent amount of
willpower was needed to make my hand let go of it.  Instead I said,
"Amanda, don't.  Just leave.  Please."

Amanda looked carefree about the fact that she was about to destroy my
life.  "And not tell your girlfriend the truth?  Is your relationship not
based on honesty?"

I looked at Kaye, and could see there was something else along with the
doubt in her eyes.  There was fear.

Amanda turned to Kaye.  "Let me tell you a little story.  I'm sure Maggie
explained that I used to work on Wall Street.  It's no picnic, especially
when you're at the bottom.  Right out of college and I'm working
eighty-hour weeks, which doesn't leave much time to go to a bar or a club
and find a mate.  Hell, I usually didn't have time to shop for food.  So
one night I'm flipping the yellow pages for this Ethiopian place someone
told me about.  I couldn't find it under restaurants, so I just looked for
Ethiopian.  And that's when I came across another ad.  Escort services.  I
figure, fuck, why not.  I order take-out food, why not order take-out sex?
So I call them up, and let me tell you, it was great.  Sometimes a guy,
sometimes a girl, sometimes both.  Blonde, redhead, black, Hispanic,
Asian...I tried all thirty one flavors."

Amanda walked over and stood behind me.  "And when I got bored with
everyone at the first agency, I called a different one.  I was in the mood
for a girl that time.  And lo and behold, who shows up at my door..."

My eyes were on the floor.  I couldn't stand the thought of looking up at
Kaye.  Amanda's hand touched my shoulder and I shrugged it off.  "...but
this stunning nineteen year-old."  Amanda started to really get into it,
letting her tone convey dramatic effect.  "I was captivated.  Not just by
her beauty, for there were more beautiful, and not just for her brains,
because there are far more college students hooking than you'd think."  She
took in a deep breath and let it out with a loud sigh.  "It was her fire.
I could sense it just by the way she stood there, all nervous energy, and
the way she made love...it was obvious that she was different.  So I
started ordering her all the time.  Like a favorite dish."

I managed to get my head up enough to steal a glance at Kaye, and it was
even worse than I feared.  The disappointment in her look made me catch my
breath.  I could feel the tears roll down my cheeks.  Right then I just
wanted to melt into the floor.

And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, Amanda delivered her
last blow.  "She's damaged goods Kaye.  How do you like her now?"

By the time Kaye turned her stare from me to Amanda, the look on her face
changed from disappointment to anger of the fire-breathing variety.
"That's between me and her.  It doesn't change the fact that you're about
to leave."

Amanda smiled.  "Oh, I think otherwise.  You see, I have some business here
for the next few days and I could use a place to stay."

"Find a hotel."

Amanda made a face.  "Well, I suppose I could, but I like the sex here
better, so I think I'll stay."

Kaye took three strides to the coffee table and picked up the phone.  "Then
I'll have to call the police."

"Wouldn't do that if I were you, unless you're interested in losing your
job."

"You've got no control over that, bitch."

Amanda shook her head.  "I knew you weren't that bright.  Think about the
press this will get, 'Fugitive caught after four years, right back on US
soil.'  'Caught in ex-girlfriend's apartment with her new lover, a teacher
of young children.'

Kaye started to dial.  "And then we did the right thing and called the
cops.
  They find out I'm a dyke and fire me...I hire a lawyer and they get a
wrongful termination suit.  You end up in jail where you belong.  Everyone
walks away unhappy.  That's life."

I thought Kaye had her.  I thought Amanda was going to grab her things and
run to the door.  But my ex-girlfriend just gave a big, wide smile.  "And
then there's the videotape."

I could hear the emergency operator come on the line.  Kaye stood there,
frozen, staring at Amanda, who added, "Imagine it getting to the press.
You having sex with said fugitive...you smoking pot with said fugitive.
It'll be on the Internet by the end of the day.  Don't just say goodbye to
your job, say goodbye to your career."

Kaye stood there, with the emergency operator asking if anyone is on the
line.  Finally Kaye said, "Sorry, I misdialed," and hung up the phone.


9.  We were in the bedroom.  Amanda had left us alone, because she wanted
to give us some time "in case we wanted to go at it".  I don't think she
meant sex.

Kaye was just staring at the door, and had been doing so for a good ten
minutes.  Finally I worked up the courage to say something.  "Kaye, please
believe me, I wanted to tell you the truth since two weeks after we met.
That's when I realized I wanted to be with you the rest of my life.  I
just..."

She held up her hand without looking at me.  "Stop!  Just stop."  Kaye
continued to stare at the door as she spoke.  "So, you were a hooker.
Okay.  I get that."

Suddenly I realized Kaye was freaking out.  I'd only seen it once before,
when her mom was in the hospital and Kaye talked about every fact like it
needed to be verified.  This wasn't going to be fun.

"So," she said, her voice a little too loud for what she was saying, "you
slept with lots of people."  Suddenly she turned to me and there was shock
in her eyes.  "Men?  Did you sleep with men too?"

"No Kaye," I said in a calm, even voice.  "I told you I've never been with
a man in my life."

"And you're not just saying that because you already told me you didn't?"

"No.  I didn't lie to you when I first said it and I'm not lying now.  So
calm the hell down."

"Calm down!  How the fuck am I supposed to calm down?  You were a fucking
hooker!"

"And I was in a bad situation."

"I thought you had scholarships!"

"I did," I said.  "But one of them dried up, or went broke, or whatever
happens when they run out of money.  Either way, I was halfway through
school and I couldn't pay for the next semester.  What was I supposed to
do?"

"Not sell your body for money, that's one.  Why not leave school for a
while, work until you get enough money to go back?"

"There were lots of reasons."

"Like?"  She had switched from freaking out to anger.  But it was a stern
anger, something I'd never seen in her before.  Suddenly I realized this is
the side the students who give her shit must see.

"Like I was afraid I wouldn't go back for some reason, or that I wouldn't
be able to earn enough money.  For Christ sake it was an Ivy League school,
that's twenty thousand a year!"

"So instead you went for the easy solution."

"Easy?  You think it was easy for me?"

"Yes, easy."

"You are such a hypocrite."

"What?"

I pointed my finger at her.  "You are the biggest slut I know.  Anywhere
and everywhere you want to have sex.  Bars, bathrooms, airports, your
fucking parents house during Christmas dinner!  And you want to have
threesomes and who knows what next."

"It's not about the sex, Mags.  You sold your body for money.  You worked
for an industry that exploits women."

I smiled.  "Oh, so that's it.  The Women's Studies minor you took finally
kicking in?"

"Fuck you!"

"Fine, but first you listen.  I wasn't some streetwalker with a pimp who
beat me up for half my take.  I was a freelance operator in the only
business where I could make the kind of money I needed."

"Oh please!"

"No, it's the truth.  And I wasn't alone.  I met plenty, plenty of women
and men using it to pay their way through college, to better themselves.
Even if I quit school and worked three jobs it'd have taken me ten years to
work up enough money.  I wasn't trained in anything other than being a
waitress.  And not all of us grew up with rich parents from Connecticut."

That hit her.  She became silent, but her face was still seething anger.  I
wanted to turn this all around, to get her to understand my side of things.
I've feared this day for some time now, and what I told Kaye about wanting
to come clean early in our relationship was true.  Sure, there was the fear
of being out with Kaye and running into an old co-worker, or even worse an
old client, but mostly it had to do with my upbringing.  I don't like
lying, despite the fact that I'm obviously good at it.  I wanted to counter
that, to be up front with her, to be completely open and honest.

But there was another part of me, one that had wanted to see if I could go
the rest of my life without telling anyone about escorting.  Because
despite the fact that it paid my way through college, and that it's such a
large industry because people from all walks of life hire escorts, there is
also a huge stigmatism attached to hooking in our society.  I've kept in
contact with a few of the men and women I'd worked with, and while many of
them are now married or in a committed relationship, very few of them tell
their partners, and the ones who have, ended up regretting it.  One girl I
worked with was married to a great guy who promptly left her when she
decided to be 'open and honest' with him about her past.  Another one was a
guy who told his partner, and while the partner didn't leave him there's
been obvious tension in their relationship ever since.  Another guy told
his wife and she took their kids and left for six months before he
convinced her to come back.  Honesty is great and all, but it comes at a
price.

I decided to calm down and try to talk to her again.  "Listen Kaye, I'm
sorry."

"Sorry.  Hmm.  That's interesting.  Are you sorry for lying to me or sorry
I found out?"

And suddenly calm was out the window.  It was all too much, and it had
happened too fast.  Twenty-four hours ago I was as happy as I'd ever been.
I had the girl, I had the job, and I had a roof over my head.  Now all of
it was slipping from my grasp.  And then a terrible thought entered my
head.  What if they were right?  My parents, my friends, the kids at
school, Robert Hanson, everyone who ever said my life was going to go down
the tubes.  It was happening just like they said.  At that moment something
snapped in my brain, and I lost it.  I started screaming at Kaye.

"What the fuck do you expect of me, huh!  Should I have told you on our
first date?  Our second?  When's a good time to bring up the fact that I
had sex for money?  Or that I dated a wanted felon?  Or tell you some sob
story about how my parents threw me out easier than they tossed out trash?
What's the common timing on that one?  I'd like to know Kaye, because
obviously I blew it!  I blew it because I wanted you to stay!  I didn't
want to drive you off with all the shit I was trying to leave behind!  So I
guess that makes me a selfish bitch!"

The door opened and Amanda stood there looking at us.  "You two really
should learn to get along better."  She walked over to the side of the bed.
"Maybe you need some help.  Both of you, strip.  Now."

Amanda started taking off her clothes.  Kaye and I just stood there,
staring at her.  She stopped and looked at us.  "Do it now or I'll leave
and drop the videotape in the mail.  The envelope is already addressed.
Principal Larry Woods.  It was in your little book in the phone table."

Kaye looked at me and I could see the seething anger in her face again.
I'm sure part of it was because of Amanda, but I couldn't help thinking
that part of it was for me.  We started taking off our clothes while Amanda
climbed on the bed and lay down right in the middle.  "Now, Maggie, why
don't you climb up onto the dresser over there.  On your knees, where you
belong.  Kaye, you climb on top of me here."

Kaye hesitated.  Then she looked at me, turned and climbed on top of
Amanda.

"I won't ask you to kiss me, that'd be a little too much, wouldn't it?"
Amanda smiled at her.  "Why don't you give my boobs a little loving?"

I couldn't see Kaye's face, but I had an idea what it looked like.  Not
happy.  She tilted her head down and started with Amanda's right nipple.
Amanda put her hand on Kaye's head and stroked her fingers in my
girlfriend's hair.  "Mmm.  You do have a talented tongue."  Amanda looked
up at me.  "Put on a show, like you used to.  Remember how I like it?"

I bit my lip to keep from saying something I shouldn't.  Then I started
rubbing my hands all over myself, slowly.  Over my chest, down to my
breasts, over my nipples, down to my stomach and then over to my hips where
I shook them a little, back and forth.  Then I split them up and sent my
left hand back up to my breast while my right one went down to my pussy.

Kaye had already switched to Amanda's other nipple.  My ex-girlfriend
exhaled sharply as my current girlfriend sucked hard.  Amanda stared
straight at me, her eyes locked on mine, as she said to Kaye, "Go down on
me."

Kaye brought her head up for a moment and then moved her body down between
Amanda's legs.  My hand was between my legs now, with two fingers moving
back and forth on my lips.  My other hand was pinching my nipple.

An annoyed look crossed Amanda's face.  "Come on now Maggie.  At least look
like you're enjoying it."

I sighed and put on a fake smile.  It had been a long time since I had to
work at looking like I was getting into it.  Escorting only took up two
years of my life, but within a few months I'd burned out a bit on sex.
There were a few clients that I had such a genuine passion with that I
never had to fake it, but after a while it became a job like any other.
Sometimes it was more work to act like I was into it than it was to
actually have sex.

I moaned and moved like I was turned on, but my mind was elsewhere.  I
realized I needed to come up with a plan.  A way to get rid of Amanda
without having Kaye's career ruined.  I needed to find that tape.  Find the
tape and we're right back where Kaye said, calling the police.  But
wouldn't that still be bad for Kaye?  Amanda could make all sorts of
accusations, true and false, that could haunt my girlfriend forever.

"Oh yeah!" Amanda cried.  Kaye's head was moving up and down, which meant
she was really getting into it.  Amanda looked at me and I pulled on my
clit ring and a nipple ring and acted like I was getting turned on.  Well,
I was, a little, but my mind was coming to the conclusion that we had to
find a way to make Amanda leave, a way that wouldn't make her so mad as to
send the tape.

Amanda rode out her orgasm with her eyes still locked on mine.  When it was
over, Kaye brought her head up and I could see her back moving up and down
as she tried to catch her breath.

"That was pretty sad, Maggie," Amanda said.  "Last night you were much
better.  Got your mind on other things I guess.  Why don't you come down
here and see if you can make me come too."

I climbed down and took Kaye's place between Amanda's legs, while she made
Kaye lay beside her. As I started licking and sucking up all her juices
Kaye turned away.  Amanda put her finger on Kaye's chin and directed her
face to look back at me.  I worked my tongue hard and then I slipped a
finger inside Amanda.  She started cooing and I centered my attention on
her clit.  Within minutes I had her riding high again, until she came in
another orgasm.  Breathing softly, she pushed Kaye aside and leaned up on
her elbows.

"Very good," Amanda said.  "You've managed to redeem yourself.  Now I think
we should get cleaned up, someone needs to prepare for this party tonight."

Christ, I'd forgotten about the party.  That would be just great, two-dozen
people hanging out with all this shit going on.


10.  Two hours later that was exactly what we had.  Two dozen people
hanging out, with no idea of what was going on.  They didn't even know
Amanda's real name.  She had instructed Kaye and I that for the purpose of
the evening we were to call her Michelle.

"Last night when you called me you said her name was Amanda," Kaye's friend
Lucy said when introduced to 'Michelle'.

"C'mon," Kaye said with a very convincing smile on her face.  "You know how
I am about names.  Hell, I keep pushing my family to use nametags at
weddings and funerals."

By nine the party was going strong.  I played hostess while Kaye did some
last minute cooking in the kitchen.  After making some rounds I went to
check on my girlfriend.  Kaye was alone, cooking chicken wings and cutting
up vegetables and drinking wine.  She looked up at me.  "Everyone good out
there?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied.  Glancing at the doorway, I added, "I'll find a way out
this.  I promise."

Kaye had gone back to chopping.  She didn't look at me when she said,
"Would you mind taking out the garbage please?"

I stared at her for a moment, then tied up the bag and carried it out of
the apartment.  Along the way I saw all the people having a good time.
They had no idea how bad it was between Kaye and I or that a wanted felon
was mingling amongst them.  Amanda was on the couch, talking with some
people, and when she saw me she smiled and winked.

Just as I got out into the hallway I saw Mike coming out of his apartment.
I remembered my pledge to be more friendly and realized that this might be
a welcome diversion from my problems.  I said, "Hey, how are you?"

Tonight he was dressed in a pair of khaki pants and a nice button down
shirt.  His only response was to nod at me.

I looked back at my apartment and then at him.  "Ah, sorry.  Another night
with a lot of noise."

"It's okay.  I'm going out again."

"Oh, how did last night go?"  I smiled broadly and tapped him on the arm.
"Pick up any chicks?" I said, followed by a chuckle.  Why was I acting like
an idiot?

"No," he said, his eyes towards the floor.  "I'm trying a different place
tonight."

I wanted to say something encouraging, but came up short.  Then I glanced
at my door.  "Well, uh, why don't you try our place?"  I pointed at the
apartment.  "I know we have a few single girls here tonight."

"Um, no offense, but aren't you girls gay?"

"Yeah, but we know a few straight ones.  And bisexual girls too, heh,
they're lots of fun."  Yeah, like Amanda.

Mike hesitated, probably because I was back to acting like and idiot.  "Uh,
I don't know.  I'm not really a party type."

"C'mon," I said.  Then I grabbed his hand and dragged him and the garbage
back into my apartment.  I started introducing him to people as we passed
them, including any girls who I knew were single.  Then I left him on his
own and went to take another stab at Kaye.

She was still working in the kitchen.  We stood there quietly for a few
moments.  I was as stumped for something to say as I was with Mike.  Hell,
trying to talk to that guy was impossible, being without his wife made him
so depressed.  That's when I remembered something.  I said to Kaye, "You
are my light."

"Huh?"

"Mrs. Klendiski, the woman who ran the escort agency with her husband.
When I was leaving she told me, "This is a dark world we live in.  But
remember there's always a light somewhere, the trick is to know it when you
see it."

"Profound."

"Comes with experience, and she'd certainly seen enough in life."

Kaye put a tray of frozen something in the oven and then turned to me.  "So
what are you saying?"

"That you are my light.  Kaye, when I met you everything changed.  I
changed.  I'd spent so much time being angry at the world for handing me a
shitty deal, and then you came along and showed me that good things can
happen too.  And suddenly all that hate I'd been carrying around for so
long didn't seem as important anymore."  I took a few steps towards her.
"No matter what happens, I know we can get through this."

Kaye shook her head and stared at a corner of the ceiling with a look of
disgust on her face.  Finally her eyes came down to me, with the look of
disgust still there.  "I don't know what to tell you about us anymore.
What I do know is that if you love me, really love me...you will find a way
to keep that bitch from destroying my career."

Just then a guy I worked with named Pete walked into the kitchen.  "Hey
Maggie, there's a problem with the bathroom."

I said I'd deal with it and left Kaye to her food and anger.  As I went
down the hallway I noticed Mike leaving through the front door.  I was
disappointed, but at the same time I felt I had tried all I could.  Like my
Aunt Peggy used to say, you can't help some people because sometimes
they're happy with whatever miserable situation they're in.

There were a few people standing outside the bathroom door, and one girl
was pounding on it.  "C'mon!" she yelled.

"You sure somebody's in there?" I asked.

"No," she replied.  "I'm sure there's two somebody's in there."  She was
about to pound on the door again when it opened.  Out came Kaye's friend
Amber with a huge smile on her face.  We looked in the bathroom and saw
Janey, a friend of mine, pulling up her panties.  As she scooted out past
us, Janey looked at me and said, "Great party."

I shook my head.  Amber had come here with her girlfriend.  As I walked
back down the hallway, feeling like there was nothing good happening in the
world tonight, the door opened and my friend Lisa walked in, followed by
her boyfriend John.

"Hey!" she yelled.

I smiled.  It felt good to smile.  Lisa and I hugged and started talking.
We hadn't seen each other in a while, and catching up with her and John was
a welcome distraction.

Finally, Lisa asked a dreaded question.  "So how are you guys doing?"

Just then I almost did it.  I almost told Lisa everything that was going
on, to get her friendly advice, her comfort and support.  And being such
the good guy he is, John would have done the same, as well as offering to
do damage to Amanda for us.  Granted, it meant I had to tell Lisa about
escorting.  That was something I'd never told her, something I'd managed to
do right under her nose during college.  Escorting was not a job I boasted
to friends about.  Lisa might be hurt that I kept it from her, but she
would be more concerned that Kaye and I were in danger.  Lisa is one of
those kinds of friends.  I think if I needed a moon rock she'd break into
NASA and hotwire a space shuttle.

And at that moment I realized I couldn't drag her and John into this for
precisely that reason.  Once I had them involved they wouldn't let go of
it, and I might put them in danger.  Speaking of that danger, my eyes
caught sight of Amanda in the living room.  Amongst all the partygoers she
was standing by herself, once again staring at the print she had given me.

"We're fine," I told Lisa and John, suddenly wanting to get them away from
me before I said something or started crying.  "Kaye is cooking in the
kitchen.
  I hate to ask you guys, but she could use some help."

"No problem," Lisa said as they started to walk off.

John smiled.  "Yeah, we'll have this place on fire in no time."

I watched them go to the kitchen.  This was my problem, and I needed to
handle it myself.  So I went into the living room and walked up beside
Amanda.  Maybe if I were friendly to her she'd ease up on the threatening.
"Whatcha doing?" I asked.

Amanda took a deep breath and let it out.  "Wondering.  What do you think
Rembrandt was thinking when he painted it?"

"This is going to make me rich and get me laid."

Amanda gave a slight chuckle.  "At least that hasn't changed about you."

"What do you mean?"

"I was thinking I'd come back and find you the same person I once knew.
The one with all the fire."  She turned to me.  "My father taught me that
people are weak.  So many of them don't know how to work hard, really hard,
for what they want.  They're afraid to sacrifice current comfort for a
future goal.  They get some crappy job and take what they're given.  Drink,
watch television, masturbate, and stay slaves to their most base desires.
They are weak, and that's what makes me better than them.  Because I'm not
weak."

I sneered at her.  "Goody for you."

"But there was a time you weren't weak either.  When you had drive and
ambition.  Now...now you're just pathetic."

I felt the sting of her words.  "Well maybe...maybe I just achieved my
goals."

"And this is all you wanted?"  Amanda looked around the apartment.  "This,
and some girl who's can't see past her own prejudices to understand that
you did what you had to do?"  Amanda shook her head.  "Some dream.  Didn't
take much to make it fall apart, either."


11.  I was sitting alone in the bedroom, holding Mr. Pookie.  It felt like
everything I tried to do today went wrong in the worst possible way.  Even
worse, I still had no plan about how to save Kaye from Amanda.  I put down
Mr. Pookie and picked up a picture of Kaye and me at the beach.  She looked
good in a bikini.  I looked like a pale, shaved cat.

"I hope you know she loves you."

I looked up and saw Kaye's friend Lucy standing in the doorway.  She's tall
and a little big boned and her Asian features made her look like the
hottest Amazon you've ever seen.

I smiled.  "I know."

Lucy walked in and sat down.  "You guys are going through something and I'm
not going to pry.  But I wanted you to know that I was just talking to
Kaye, and she says that as far as she's concerned you're as good as
chocolate.  Which is her way of saying her world revolves around you."

I closed my eyes tight and gritted my teeth.  There was still a chance.
She still loves me.  But I couldn't figure out a way to keep my problem
from ruining her life.  I opened my eyes.  "I thought things got easy when
you found that one special person."

Lucy chuckled.  "My therapist calls it The Cinderella Complex.  We're all
raised on Cinderella or similar tales, where the struggle in the story is
finding that special someone, that perfect mate, and convincing them you
exist.  Once that happens they ride off into the sunset together, happily
ever after, and then the story ends, the hard part is over, roll credits.
Except in real life the hard part isn't over, it's just beginning.  Because
these two people need to learn to live together, and that means you need to
learn to compromise.  You can't just think about yourself anymore, you have
to think about the other person as well.  And sometimes that means giving
up things, making sacrifices.  Other times it means doing something you
wouldn't normally do, or don't want to do.  It's a big change, and so few
people are ready for it.  I think you and Kaye are really good together.
Honestly she's happier than I've ever seen her.  So whatever it is, please
don't give up on her."

I nodded and we were quiet for a moment.  Then Lucy stood.  "Now if you'll
excuse me, I've had to pee for the last half of this conversation."

Lucy walked away, but when she reached the door she turned.  "Oh, and if
you hurt her, just keep in mind how mentally unstable I am and that I own a
big knife collection."

With that she walked out.  But I wasn't concerned about her threat.  It was
what she said before that was tumbling around in my head.

"...the perfect mate...can t just think about yourself anymore...happier
than I've ever seen her..."

Tumbling around.  Not making much sense.

"...hurt her...making sacrifices...happily ever after..."

But then some things started coming into focus.

"...the hard part isn't over...something you wouldn't normally do...think
of the other person as well..."

Suddenly, it hit me.

"...the other person...knife collection...once that happens they ride off
into the sunset together..."

And with that I knew what needed to be done.  I had brought the problem
into our lives and I would take it out.  Standing up, I went to the bedside
drawer and took out my pocketknife.  With the gentle push of my finger the
blade sprang open.  I held the knife in my hand and looked at its sharp
edge, and then stared at my distorted reflection on the side.  Suddenly
there was only one question I had to answer.

What was I going to do with the body?


Coming in part 3 -- planning a murder isn't easy.

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