Date: Mon, 19 Sep 2005 14:54:01 -0700 From: Star Stevenson Subject: Street Angels Chapter One Lesbian Adult/Youth STREET ANGELS Copyright 2005 by StarSapphire. All rights reserved. This is a work of fiction. No characters are real and no animals were harmed in the writing of it. This is an adult tale so you must decide if you're old enough to read it. Otherwise, enjoy! (Fg) (mast) (oral) (rom) Chapter One It was silly really to think about death like this. At fifty Barbara was just beginning her prime middle years yet thoughts of her own mortality plagued her. She was childless and she knew this was underlying some of her morbid preoccupation with her own demise, but being lesbian she was in the same barren state as most of her friends and they seemed to be coping fine. Perhaps it's just a depression, she thought, something a few pills might take care of. But deep down she knew it was more than that. Physically Barbara had looked after herself. She still sported a fine body toned by years of dedicated exercise and diet. She was no chronic illnesses and had none of the life style diseases that were affecting her less diligent contemporaries. Rather it was her spirit that was suffering. She had not paid enough attention to the people in her life, her friends, lovers and family, and now she was paying the price. She felt terribly alone. Career had come first she realized. Long, grinding hours spent practicing law had won her substantial financial security and the ability to retire well before most, but Barbara hadn't figured in the emotional cost of finishing the race first, but all by herself. She had had several relationships, any one of which could have led to something more meaningful, but work always came before the well being of her partners or their feelings. She could see now, two years into retirement, how wrong she had been and how sad it all was. Sighing heavily she came in from her balcony overlooking the bay, a view that absolutely thrilled her when she first moved in but today left her unmoved and uncaring. The bright sunlight reflecting off the ocean only seemed to sear her soul and mock her with its happy shimmering sparkles. Her penthouse condominium was at one time her pride and joy, but today it could have been a hovel in some inner city mid-town for all she cared. A trip to the gym was in order and sometimes it helped. That, and a quick drink or two at the neighborhood bar were often enough to see her through the night, even though the drinks worried her, sensing as she did that three would be better than two and four better than that and where that could all lead. Her mother had been alcoholic and Barbara knew enough to be careful. Still it was tempting. At the gym Barbara checked herself over in the full length mirrors as she worked out intensely, sweat pouring from her body. She was 5' 8" tall and 130 pounds, just ten off her high school weight, which thrilled her. Her breasts were still a firm 36C and her hips as tight as years of a one hour daily grind of a work-out could make them. Her grey eyes were set in even, balanced features unmarked by sun damage, sagging or wrinkling, framed by mid-length sun streaked natural honey blonde hair with a hint of grey at the temples, a color and look her hairdresser said she couldn't duplicate from a bottle in a hundred years. She liked what she saw and took pride in her appearance. What Barbara didn't see in her reflected images was that, in spite of her no-nonsense courtroom countenance that she wore most of the day her face radiated a hidden warmth that took many off guard and drew others to her in ways she sometimes noticed but didn't always understand. Although desperately wanting the company and affection of others something always made her draw back and resist, sometimes fiercely. Going to deeper levels of intimacy was something she so strongly needed, was frequently offered, but always refused. After her shower at the gym Barbara decided to heed her inner warnings about alcohol and skip the local bar, knowing that the warmth from the drinks was artificial and only mimicked happiness. In a couple of hours it would wear off and she'd feel no better, even mildly hung over. She decided instead to drive around by the park near the beach, intending while there to sit and morbidly watch the sun, like her life, sink slowly down into darkness. Leaving her Lexus parked and secure she made her way over to a nearby intricately formed wrought iron bench and sat down, letting the endorphins from her workout wash through her, easing her depression a little. The sky was full of color from blue to indigo, red to pale pink and yellow where the ball of the dying sun was half way into the water. Long thick bands of cloud slashed across the sky like huge brush strokes, picking up and amplifying the already rich colors, making the evening sunset appear like a surrealist painting of another world. But beautiful as it was it was not enough to fill the black emptiness inside her. The next thing you know it'll be a visit from the ghosts of Christmases past, present, and future, she thought miserably. While she sat contemplating the ending of life Barbara was suddenly startled by a noise from the bushes nearby to her right. When she turned to look a figure appeared from between two hydrangea plants not thirty feet away. It was no Christmas ghost but it was an apparition equally Dickensian, a young girl who seemed as surprised to see Barbara as Barbara was to see her. The girl stood stock still for an instant as Barbara took in the sight of her. She was dressed in worn blue jeans, an old olive drab T-Shirt, a dirty looking baseball cap, grubby runners that had been through the Salvation Army store at least twice, and she had an old blue and grey back pack slung almost insolently over her shoulder that appeared to carry all her worldly belongings, which it more or less did. Her hair was long, blonde and stringy and clearly hadn't been washed in awhile. A shiver of fear and repugnance etched through Barbara but was quickly replaced by a sense of compassion. Why, she didn't know. She normally considered the poor, when she did at all, as at best someone else's problem. And this child was clearly a problem. "Hello, young lady," Barbara spoke first, surprising herself. "Hi, you got any spare change, ma'am?" the waif asked. The girl quickly recovered from her own surprise at finding this attractive middle aged woman on the bench she usually came to rest on after making her way out of the park each evening. Not surprised enough though, to miss the chance of scoring some quick food money. "I'm kinda hungry," she added quietly. "Do you live in there?" Barbara queried, indicating the heavily forested park behind them. The girl turned her head to look where Barbara was pointing then looked directly back at her, eyes full of pleading. "Yeah, I do for now. And please, I could use a few bucks to help me get by," guessing by Barbara's clothes, hair and makeup that she probably had more than just a few coins on her. Yvonne was getting desperate. Running away from home, bad as home was, hadn't turned out to be quite the trip she had imagined. Like sleeping in the park, although that was way better than running with one of the street `families', mostly runaways like herself trying desperately to stay hidden and alive in the niches and cracks of the big city. She tried that for a couple of months. With them, kind as some could be, there was always trouble. Better to be on your own. Watching the girl closely Barbara knew enough through practicing some family law and criminal defense work early in her career not to ask the obvious questions of this young ragamuffin. Instead she reached for her purse and then paused. "Money isn't what you really need, is it sweetheart?" she asked, looking the girl in the eye. As Barbara continued looking, dimly at first but with some growing clarity she experienced a slow, almost miraculous epiphany regarding this poor creature that had appeared before her almost straight from the pages of Oliver Twist. What she was looking at was herself for what she could have been. My God, she thought, it's the ghost of Christmas future in reverse! Barbara could well have stood in this girl's place thirty eight years ago given her own wretched home life as a child and her single mother's disastrous and ultimately fatal battle with the bottle and prescription drugs. It suddenly struck her that all those years of frantic effort to achieve success in school, university, law school, and legal practice were all an attempt to escape the fate that stood exactly in front of her right now. "Maybe not," replied the girl. "But it would sure help for now. Please ma'am?" "Here's twenty dollars," Barbara said abruptly reaching into her purse. "Come back tomorrow about this time and we'll see about more. How's that?" As the girl approached her wide-eyed at her generosity Barbara was able to notice how pretty she was under all the grit, grime, and grungy clothes. Standing next to Barbara her odor was only faintly noticeable, indicating that she was at least trying to stay clean. Her eyes were a beautiful corn flower blue set above a pert little nose and full red lips, a natural beauty in need of no makeup. Her body was lean and small but hard to make out through her loose ill-fitting clothing. Her long blonde hair would probably look great with a set and wash sans baseball cap, Barbara thought. "Gosh, thank you, ma'am. I will. Be here tomorrow that is," Amazed at her good fortune Yvonne grabbed the bill and pocketed it. She could eat well for the next week if she were careful. Giving the attractive older lady a stunning little girl smile, she turned and without looking back walked, then half ran towards the city lights beckoning in the distance. Barbara stood watching the girl disappear into the whirling maw of the metropolis, willing her to be safe one more night, just long enough for Barbara to what? Make a difference in this young girl's existence? Rescue her from the appalling, soul destroying life she was leading? Or long enough to rescue Barbara's own soul, an unwanted thought that crept in, making her feel selfish, self-serving and questioning of her own motives. And she's so pretty too, Barbara realized with a flash of feeling. Wolfing down a dollar slice of pizza Yvonne contemplated her encounter with her `angel' in the park. She had been around long enough to know that some kids, mostly girls, had occasional but regular benefactors that gave them money or other things with no strings attached. Usually older men who seemed to take pity on the kids down here and did what they could for them for whatever reasons of their own. Maybe this lady was one of those street angels? That would be nice. Yvonne could use a more regular income, not that she was trying to con the woman in the park. She hadn't been down here long enough to lose all her sense of conscience, and the look in the woman's eyes seemed so gentle and caring, something Yvonne was not used to seeing. Could she trust her? Time would tell. Trust was not something Yvonne gave out to just anyone. Her young life till now was an endless string of broken promises and painful betrayals, and there was that thing that happened, that caused her finally to run away. That thing she didn't want to think about or remember but that stuck with her, gnawing away at her like a toothache no matter how much she tried to tell herself it didn't matter. Barbara herself spent an unusually restful night and woke up refreshed, feeling better than she had for some time, she realized. She knew it was about the girl in the park. She had seen something in her eyes and her stance that told her this girl was not yet damaged beyond repair, that some spark of a wonderful human soul remained to be salvaged if only she could be reached in time. And Barbara intended to reach her in spite of the quiet voice inside her that said she was doing this for her own salvation and not the girl's. She chose to ignore the voice for now. And this new sense of purpose, at least for today, gave her some hope to live on. When they met the next evening they were both surprised and happy to see that the other had shown up. Both, for obviously different reasons, had hoped the meeting last night had not been a one-time thing and it had come to pass. Barbara could see that the girl had even tried to clean up a bit. The ball cap was gone and her hair was combed and tied back in a pony tail. Her white T-shirt looked clean, if several sizes too large. Khaki colored cargo pants had replaced the jeans but her shoes were the same raggedy pair she'd worn last time. "My name's Barbara, what's yours?" she asked as the girl approached her, hoping she wasn't being too forward. "Uh, Mandy," Yvonne replied, giving her favorite teacher's name, her chosen `street name' that every kid down here had to help avoid being taken into custody by social services or the police. "Well, Mandy, I've put together something of a survival pack for you. Things you might need but can't find, uh, out here." This included some tampons, shampoo, soap, toothbrush and paste, deodorant, some nutrition bars, a portable radio with ear plugs, a few extra dollars, and a cheap but nice looking watch. "The watch is so that we can make appointments with each other, would that be okay?" "Sure, I guess," Yvonne replied, a bit overwhelmed by the woman's generosity and concern. Why is she doing this? When it became clear by the woman's silent warm smile however, that there were no questions being asked and no conditions attached to these gifts Yvonne said simply "Thank you, ma'am." "Please call me Barbara, okay?" "Sure. Thank you, uh, Barbara," Yvonne said uncertainly. "Please tell me if there is anything else you need. I can only guess what you're going through and what might help. Is there something else I can get for you sweetheart?" Only a whole new life, Yvonne thought bitterly and maybe a big house on a farm with horses and cars to drive and endless amounts of food to eat and no one to be afraid of or run away from but she'd start small. "A tent," she said. "Not too big but enough to stretch out in and keep the rain off. Maybe that's too much..." "Of course not," said Barbara. "I should have thought of that myself. Fall is coming and you're going to get awful damp out there. How about a sleeping bag too?" she asked nervously. "Really? You'd buy me a tent and a sleeping bag? Wow!" Yvonne blurted out, sounding almost like the little 12 year old she actually was and then she got wary. In her universe such things didn't come without a price or they always fell through. "I promise. Tomorrow night at 8:00 o'clock I'll be here. Is that time good for you, Mandy?" Barbara had noticed her excitement and then her fade into guardedness. Yvonne nodded her head and smiled. "Okay, I'll be here Barbara," She took her new watch out of the bag of supplies she'd been given and put it on. "At 8 o'clock." She turned and started walking away again into the glowing lights and swirling traffic of the city. This time though, she turned around and waved good bye before continuing. Barbara watched her marching away and again prayed to whatever goddess looked after little girls that she be safe for another night and free from all the dangers she knew and imagined could befall her. She looked tough though - and competent for a twelve year old, Barbara thought. She can take care of herself. She's made it this far or so she reassured herself. God, what am I going to do? I'm so worried about this child. I know what a fiasco turning her in to social services would create and that, she felt sure, would end any trust she'd begun to build up between them forever. Yvonne spent the night as she usually did; trying to remain out of sight and mind of most of the world and Barbara's generosity meant she didn't have to panhandle for awhile either. There was a street youth drop-in that offered free showers, always a supply of day old Starbuck's muffins (Starbuck's, she had come to learn, was another `street angel'. If she could ever afford to buy coffee she'd always buy it at Starbuck's) and occasionally some good used clothing or other articles people would donate. There were street friends she ran into too, but most of them always had that desperate look about them that made Yvonne keep her distance. Drugs were not her scene, neither was prostitution, alcohol or larceny. She'd been approached early on by an older man who promised she could make lots of money turning tricks and making films and she'd run from him like she'd run from the gangs that broke into cars and boosted stuff from the large downtown retail stores. And now there was this woman who was buying her a tent. What did she want? Was she safe? Yvonne hoped so. The woman seemed so kind and for an instant her street hardened heart opened up to the magnificent `what if' that this woman, this beautiful, rich, even sexy woman, might be for real. She gulped back some tears after leaving the shower in the drop-in and looked down at her new possessions with some pride, especially her watch. 8 o'clock, she remembered. I'll be there, she said to herself firmly. The next day Barbara went to the best outdoor outfitting place she could find and bought what she thought was the best small tent in the store designed, it said, to endure the ravages of a windy tropical downpour. Next an `arctic tested' sleeping bag, whatever that meant, and a foam mat to lay under it along with enough tin pots, stoves, cooking utensils, and survival gear to last a whole season in the Antarctic and then she stopped, realizing that the poor girl could only carry so much and why was she encouraging her to stay outdoors by buying her all this equipment anyway? Then she realized she was not outfitting Mandy for the winter, she was trying to buy her trust. For a moment a wave of guilt washed through her then she remembered her promise to Mandy and the look of doubt on her young face just before she had turned away and headed for town. If this is what it takes to help this girl survive and thrive then, if it's selfish, so be it. She bundled her purchases into the trunk of her car and drove off, anxiously waiting for 8 o'clock to roll by. Yvonne had arrived early and hid herself in anticipation of Barbara's return tonight. She realized too that she was as anxious to see the woman as she was to get her new camping gear. There was something about Barbara that was getting to her, unlocking feelings she hadn't felt before but she knew she had to be very careful. They were warm, soft almost magical sensations and she wasn't sure what exactly they were but she knew they were powerful and needed to be kept in check. She sensed these emotions could turn around and hurt her badly, something she wasn't sure she could ever endure. Then looking down at her watch at precisely 8 o'clock she heard Barbara's car drive up, stop and her door open and close. Yvonne waited until the woman had seated herself on the bench before making her presence known. Emerging from behind the hydrangeas she saw the woman turn to look at her and saw too the huge smile that lit up her face when she recognized her. The smile seemed to melt something inside Yvonne and she approached Barbara a bit tentatively but no longer so warily. "Mandy! There you are!" Barbara exclaimed. "I went a little nuts in the sporting goods store. Do you want to have a look?" Curious, Yvonne followed Barbara to the trunk of her car and stood there as she opened it. When the light went on she could see the clear plastic bag with the tent in it and the rolled up forest green sleeping bag but in addition there were a number of camping utensils she could badly use including a can opener, hand axe, mess tin and an array of cooking gear. There was also a new backpack, one which looked expensive, too expensive to wear into the city, but she wouldn't tell the woman that. It would make Yvonne the target of a robbery the minute she showed up on the street with it. She'd keep it at her camp site for some special occasion. "I knew this might be a lot to carry so I got this portable dolly you can use to get it all to, uh, the place where you live," Barbara said pulling it from the side of her trunk and piecing it together. I also got you this," she said reaching into her purse. "It's a cell phone with about four hours of prepaid calling time. And this is my card with my home phone, cell number and address on it. I've put them on speed dial in the cell. If you need anything or just want to talk..." Yvonne looked up at Barbara stunned. "You mean all this is for me? And I can just call you too if, if I want to?" "Yes of course you can. Any time about anything. It doesn't have to be important. That's why I got it for you. I know you could probably sell it and you can if you like," Barbara added nervously. "But I thought this way we could arrange to meet by phone, or cancel if something came up." "I'd never sell it! No ma'am. I mean Barbara," Yvonne announced earnestly and Barbara heaved a quiet sigh of relief. She watched Yvonne turning the cell phone around in her hands, opening and closing it, then the look of confusion that appeared on her face. Realizing the girl didn't know how to operate it she ran her through a quick series of instructions and was amazed by how fast she caught on to everything. She's a bright little thing, Barbara mused. Imagine her at a computer? During this period of demonstrations and instruction Barbara also noticed that Yvonne had dropped a lot of her street wise reticence and was responding to her like any normal twelve year old would. She was even flashing her a big smile whenever she mastered some new task and Barbara felt her heart flutter a bit each time. My God, I'm falling in love with this pitiful needy child she realized. After the lessons were complete Yvonne looked up at Barbara. "Can I call you tonight?" she asked expectantly. "Oh my dear, of course you can. I'd love to hear from you." Barbara was breathless at this offer. "Okay then, I'm going to pack all this stuff home, set it up and call you from there. Think it will work in the woods?" "Yes, it will sweetheart, don't worry." Barbara smiled. Together they loaded Yvonne's new backpack with her new camping gear then placed it, the tent, and sleeping bag on the dolly, ready for transport into the forest. After testing the weight Yvonne assured Barbara she could easily manage by herself then she came over and surprised Barbara with a big hug. In response Barbara wrapped her arms tightly around the young girl and, after smelling the fragrance in her hair of the shampoo she'd bought her, reluctantly let her go again. "Thank you so much Barbara," Yvonne said softly with downcast eyes, then she turned around, picked up the end of the dolly and started off back into the park, the dolly rolling along easily behind her. When she was almost at the tree line she stopped, turned around and waved good bye then disappeared into the forest gloom. As she watched her go Barbara felt a tear come to her eye as she stood there for some minutes gazing at the spot where Yvonne had disappeared. Finally she turned and headed back to her car and home to await that special phone call that was now meaning so much to her. Maybe I'm just being an old fool, she thought. This could all turn out to be a disaster. Hell, I barely know the girl. On the other hand she hadn't felt this alive in years and decided to let things proceed as they would. Driving back home almost on auto pilot Barbara was startled back to alertness by the chiming of her cell phone. Thinking it was probably one of her bar friends wondering where she'd been the last few nights she was quite taken aback when a young girl's voice instead asked if that was Barbara. "Yes, this is Barbara. Is that you Mandy?" she inquired excitedly. "I wasn't expecting to hear from you so soon, dear." "Oh, is it okay me phoning you now? I could always..." "Of course it's okay sweetheart. I'm just surprised is all, happily surprised." "Well I thought I'd tell you I got the tent up okay and it's great! Thank you so much!" "It's my pleasure dear. I'm so glad you like it," Barbara said warmly as she stopped for a red light. "So are you still going to call me when I get home? I'd like that." "Gosh okay, in about an hour maybe?" "Use my home number. I look forward to it honey." After Yvonne hung up she sat back and pondered the recent turn her life had taken. She knew that for some reason this woman wanted to be her friend but she couldn't figure out why. Never having been truly loved before she'd had no experience of the unconditional giving and acceptance that came normally to most children through their parents and other family members. As a result she didn't see herself as particularly lovable and so still doubted this woman's love and kindness. But there was enough hope left in Yvonne to keep going in this new relationship despite her mistrust, not to mention how desperately lonely she was and how afraid of the future she felt and how wonderful it would be to be rescued from her ongoing nightmare of a life. And there was something else that Yvonne barely acknowledged. She felt attracted to this woman in a visceral, sexual way that she hadn't experienced before. She knew she was attracted to other girls and not to boys, but she'd never allowed those feelings to go very far. Her only sexual experience was more an act of unmitigated violence than anything sexual. It was that memory she kept trying to suppress, of her mother's latest boyfriend pinning her down, ripping off her clothes and raping her brutally until she had passed out cold. With a shudder Yvonne pushed those humiliating nightmarish scenes back into her mind and concentrated instead on the image and person of Barbara and she immediately felt warm and aroused. There could not be a greater contrast between two people than Barbara and that vile boyfriend she realized. After arriving home Barbara planted herself beside the phone and looked at her watch. About fifteen minutes to go before she could expect Mandy's call. She settled back in her easy chair and let her mind wander back to the young girl. She had looked so adorable tonight with her hair cleaned and hanging loosely about her shoulders. She could do with a cut, Barbara thought. She longed to take her to her own hairdresser but felt sure the time was not yet here whereby she could be that personal with the girl. She needed to be patient. Barbara too had to acknowledge some odd feelings of attraction towards this young runaway. These feelings at first shocked her then she remembered the girl's eyes, so knowing and grown up and her obvious self-sufficiency. Twelve going on thirty, Barbara appreciated. That maturity along with her striking beauty were a potent combination and Barbara saw where her physical attraction towards the girl was coming from. Still it was a little unsettling. The loud burr of her telephone stopped Barbara's reveries and she picked up the receiver in eager anticipation. "Hello Barbara, is that you?" Yvonne's voice sounded in her ear. "Yes Mandy honey, it is. How are you dear?" responded Barbara, trying not to sound too excited. "Well, first off I should tell you that my name's not Mandy. It's Yvonne. I hope you don't mind but Mandy is my street name. I wasn't trying to fool you or anything. Is that okay?" "Yes it's okay. I understand and I'm touched that you would share that with me. You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything Yvonne. As I guess you know by now I think you're pretty special and I want so much just to be your friend," Barbara told her sincerely. "Yeah I -- I know," Yvonne paused and gathered up her courage. "But, well, why do you want to do all these things for me? Why do you want me as a friend?" she blurted out. "I mean you've got lots of things, cars and stuff and I don't have anything. And you don't really know me. I'm only twelve and I could be a horrible brat that just takes your money or steals from you or something..." "Honey, listen. I know you're not that kind of person," Barbara retorted. "Besides I'm pretty sharp and I'd spot your game pretty fast anyway. Why I want to be your friend is a bit complicated, but I guess I see a lot of myself in you. I have no problem imaging what your home life was like and I can tell you that mine was no walk in the park either. I can also appreciate how hard it probably is for you to trust me. I accept that and know that I have to earn your trust and I'm willing to do that a step at a time. That's also why I'm trying to be completely open with you. I promise, I'll never lie to you or try to trick you or hurt you. I know what all that feels like just like I'm sure you do. I've come to love you Yvonne," These final words came tumbling out of her mouth almost unbidden. Had she gone too far? Yvonne was stunned by Barbara's revelation, insight, empathy, and promises. As the numbness gradually wore off following Barbara's remarks all the years of hurt, betrayal, fear, and pain that were locked up inside her could no longer be ignored or denied. Someone understood and cared. Yvonne felt the tears begin to flow. "Oh my God, yes! I do! Know how that feels I mean," Yvonne sobbed. Deep wells of untapped feelings gushed forth from dark hidden places and Barbara listened intently as waves of emotion coursed through the young girl, expressing themselves in soul wracking sobs and free running tears. "Oh Barbara, I feel so alone!" she cried as she tried to regain some control over herself. "Please, would you come and meet me again tonight," Yvonne implored desperately. "Please?" After assuring her that she would be there in twenty minutes, Barbara rushed out of her condo, impatiently waited for the elevator then willed it to descend faster when she finally boarded it. Bursting out of the elevator doors at the parking level she headed immediately for her car, got in and actually squealed her tires as she made the turn to leave the building, stopping abruptly to wait impatiently for the security gate to finally open. When it did Barbara headed back to the park and noted when she arrived that she had actually made it in fourteen minutes as she pulled into the now familiar parking space by `their' bench. Pausing for breath she looked around and spotted Yvonne coming out of the trees. Flashing her headlights to attract her attention she saw the young girl start to run towards her. Getting out of the car to meet her Barbara saw immediately the distress in the young girl's eyes and longed to reach out to her. Not waiting Barbara ran towards the girl and they met about half way from the tree line and immediately threw their arms around each other. Barbara could feel and hear Yvonne's deep sobs as she stroked her hair gently. A thrill went through her too when she felt Yvonne's young body come in crushing contact with her own and her breasts compress against the girl's chest. "There, there, honey. Let it out. Let it all out," Barbara cooed as she slowly rocked Yvonne in her arms and caressed her shiny blonde hair. "Oh Barbara, I don't know what's happening to me! Please hold me!" Yvonne cried into Barbara's shoulder as she continued to comfort her. "Honey, I think whatever it is it's a good thing. But I'm not letting you stay alone in those woods tonight. You're coming home with me," Barbara ordered. Yvonne quietly nodded yes and continued to cry and sniffle quietly as Barbara led her slowly over to her car, opened the passenger door and sat her inside, doing up her seatbelt in the process. In the driver's seat Barbara handed her some tissues from her purse then took Yvonne's small hand in hers briefly before starting the engine then held it again most of the way home. Both woman and girl realized on the drive to Barbara's place that things had drastically changed in their relationship, that they were on the verge of making some deeper connection to each other and that felt a little scary to both. All Barbara could think of was please don't let me mess this up as the two of them headed up in the elevator to her penthouse. In moments, as they entered the condo hand in hand, both felt the strange sensation that they somehow belonged here together at this moment and anxiously hoped it was mutual. * * * * * Star*