Date: Wed, 24 Mar 2021 09:02:53 +0000 From: SinfulTouches Subject: Surrendering to forbidden desires This story is a work of fiction and contains descriptions of explicit sexual acts between women. If this type of content offends you or you are under the age of 18 do not read it. Copyright 2021 Jan, all rights reserved Please mail SinfulTouches@protonmail.com if you have any suggestions for a future story. I was raised in a Christian family to be a "good" and respectable girl. That, of course, meant heterosexual and monogamous. No sex outside marriage. I was taught that homosexuality was wrong and that homosexuals were perverts. To be a lesbian was to be depraved, to be a slave to filthy unnatural lust. So, when I was growing up, the thought of being a lesbian was a frightening and revolting one. I put it out of my mind entirely. I was, in any case, a late developer when it came to any kind of sexual feelings and, for a while, it didn't seem to matter. I just thought that sooner or later I would find the right man and settle down and have a family and a normal, respectable life, just like everyone else. But I had no real feelings for boys. No real desires. I tried to make myself fancy boys by looking at pictures or trying to imagine myself with a boy. I tried so hard to imagine it that I thought I almost did fancy boys. I ignored the strange feeling I got each day when I saw this or that girl. One girl in particular had an effect on me at school. Her name was Lizzie. Her shapely legs, her curvy figure, her clear blue eyes and soft pert breasts. I would find myself staring at her every now and then. Enthralled without knowing why. I would get a warm feeling of excitement when I saw her; the vague tingle of sexual arousal. But all so deeply repressed that I refused to see it for what it was. And so I never acted on it. The years past and eventually I met a man in my mid-twenties who I grew to be friends with. We married. We even made love. I thought it was pleasurable. But it was pleasurable only in the way casual masturbation is pleasurable. It never thrilled me. I hardly ever had an orgasm with him. But I didn't know what I was missing so I just kept on, following the same path that had been set out for me by society and my family from the day I was born. The respectable, normal life. It all changed suddenly. One year at an office party. I was out in London drinking and having fun with my colleagues, hopping from one bar to another. There was no thought in my head to do anything other than have a few drinks and a chat. But then, we arrived at a bar later on in the evening. I was a bit drunk and so was everyone else. One more drink and I would be on my way home. Then I saw them out of the corner of my eye. At the other end of the bar, there were two girls kissing each other. One was so sexy and curvy she reminded me of Lizzie. Her friend's hand ran down her back and gave her bum a lustful squeeze. I was sexually aroused in a way I'd never known before. I wanted to be one of those girls, kissing another girl and fondling her soft sexy bum. I couldn't take my eyes off them. I was so turned on by forbidden urges I had never acknowledged before that I couldn't control myself. I had to go into the ladies toilet and relieve by lustful desires by masturbating in a cubicle. All the time thinking about being one of those girls. As I came, years of sexual repression were released in an explosive orgasm - far better than anything I'd ever known with my husband. Sooo much better! I found myself crying. I don't know if it was relief, satisfaction or fear. I knew it was dirty. But in that moment I also knew I was a lesbian and that there was nothing I could do about it. I knew I wanted to, no, needed to, have sex with a girl. After that not a day went past when I didn't think about having sex with a girl. I found myself fantasising and masturbating about it more and more. But of course I was a respectable, married, Christian woman. The stigma of surrendering to my perverted desires held me back. So too did the lack of opportunity. I never mixed with any lesbians and I spent most of my social life with my husband anyway. But I could not supress the urges. They just grew stronger. I lusted for sex with another woman more and more as time passed. I noticed women more and more. Their sexy curves and soft, firm breasts. Soft, round, sexy bums. And, in the summer, as girls began to wear less clothing, I found myself staring at their shapely bare legs and peering at revealing cleavages; and wondering how good it would feel to touch another girl's breasts. Then, at last, my opportunity finally came. I was away on a business trip. I would be on my own in a big city, alone in my hotel room, with the evenings and nights to myself. The first night I didn't pluck up the courage to do anything more than masturbate alone in my room as I fantasised about it. But on the second night I finally gave in to my yearnings and set out across town to a lesbian bar. I remember being so frightened and nervous but also very excited, wondering whether or not I would finally get to have sex with a woman. The bar was getting full as it was a Saturday night. I was so nervous but also excited to see so many sexy lesbians in one place. I knew I wouldn't have the courage to make the first move, so I decided to get drunk and hope a pretty woman would take an interest in me. For a good while I just hung around near the bar on my own with my drinks. Nervously looking around lusting after this girl or that. All of a sudden I looked around to see an older Asian woman standing right next to me, so close I could feel her breathe on my neck. She smiled and we started to chat. It turned out she was a woman rather like me. Like me she was a woman living in the closet. Like me she was away on a business trip. Briefly free of the normal constraints of our lives - we were now free to eat forbidden fruits. I discovered she was a muslim Pakistani woman, trapped in an arranged marriage. She too was desperate to have sex with another woman, even though it meant risking all those hopes and expectations of respectable normality. I learnt she was older than me. I was just 34 at that time and she was 43. Somehow it turned me on to think of myself having sex with an older woman. She moved closer to me as we chatted. We sat down together in a dark corner and shared our secret lustful desires for lesbian sex. Her eyes were brown and beautiful, drawing me in. Her hair dark and alluring. She was curvy with large breasts that I yearned to touch. If anything you could say she was somewhat overweight - but I couldn't help but feel aroused by that. Her hand wandered onto my knee as we talked - a soft sensual caress of pure sexual desire. I could feel myself tingling with sexual arousal, my pussy was starting to moisten. I placed my hand on her knee and rubbed her leg gently. It felt good. She slowly moved her hand down from my knee, feeling her way down my leg just far enough to hook her hand beneath the bottom of my skirt onto the bare flesh of my lower leg. Then she slowly rubbed her hand further and further up my leg inside of my skirt. Oh it felt so good. Her soft gentle hand caressing first my knee and then the inside of my thigh. I wondered if anyone could see what she was doing under the table. But the room was fairly dark and the thrill of her intimate touch made me crave more. I wished I could feel her in the same way she was feeling me but she was wearing jeans so I couldn't touch her bare flesh. Even so I rubbed the inside of her thigh with enthusiastic lust. Her hand continued exploring, further on up until at last I could feel her fingers working their way inside my knickers. I gave at little sigh and shivvered with sexual pleasure as I felt her gently caress first my pubic hair and then slip her fingers inside my pussy. We kissed and I rubbed her crotch in return. I was getting wetter and more excited as she gently masturbated me under the table. She leaned in close and whispered in my ear "You can unzip my jeans and feel me if you like". I looked about a little furtively. No one seemed to be noticing. Driven on by the thrilling tingling sensation of in my pussy, I unzipped her jeans and wormed my fingers inside her knickers to rub her moist fanny. We kissed and moaned gently with pleasure as we sat there in the dark masturbating each other. After what seemed like ages of pure ecstasy I shivvered and came, letting out a pathetic whimper of pure relief and pleasure. Excited by what she'd made me do I could sense her trembling as she came too. We kissed and laughed was we extracted our wet fingers from each others' pussies. Hastily rearranging skirts, zipping up jeans and looking around sheepishly to see if anyone had noticed. But no one seemed to have done. It was my first lesbian orgasm. It was furtive and dirty but it felt fantastic. We smiled and kissed some more. It felt right. And it was only a little while later that we left to go back to my hotel room. I would finally get to spend the night naked in the arms of another woman. We got back to my room and began to undress with lustful haste, smiling and laughing together as we did so. When we got down to our underwear we cuddled and kissed, fondling each other's bums excitedly as we did so. Then, for some reason, I knew I wanted to have sex with her naked in the bathroom where I could see us do it together in the big mirror that was in there. She agreed and soon we were gently removing each other's underwear in front of the mirror until there we both stood, naked. I could not keep eyes off her large, soft, brown breasts. I gently reached out and stroked them, enjoying their sexy softness. My eyes must have been like saucers. She cooed softly and gently massaged my breasts in return as we shared a kiss. It felt so hot to see myself in the mirror, naked in her arms, kissing and groping each other lustfully. As I saw myself I knew it was now true. There could be no doubt or second thoughts. I was a lesbian. I was now a pervert, just as the church had taught. But it felt strange. Now, for the first time in my life, I would have sex in order to cum and for no other reason. I was not doing this to be normal or respectable or good. I was doing it to cum. It felt great. She gently put her hands on my shoulders and guided me to kneel before her. Her beautiful curvy, chubby body, stood there naked before me. I leaned forward and burried my face in the pubic hair of her crotch; her pubes tickling my nose and getting between my teeth as I planted my mouth around her pussy and licked inside of her to taste her juices. Her taste was only slightly salty; I had expected a strong more unpleasant taste but to me, in that moment, it tasted delicious. I lapped at her and worked my tongue around inside of her, filling my nose enthusiastically with the sexy scent of her pussy. She began to moan softly with pleasure and I could feel her tremble a little as she surrendered to sexual ecstasy. I rubbed and groped her chubby buttock cheeks in both hands as I licked her and continued to drink the nectar of her wonderful lesbian womanhood. I cooed softly as I licked and closed my eyes as I surrendered to years of unmet desires, now to be fullfilled for the very first time. I knelt before her and worshipped her by pleasuring her pussy. She moaned with ever increasing enthusiasm as the pleasure mounted, shivering with sexual bliss. She was so aroused she began to grind her pussy into my face with increasing vigour, moaning and grunting, she wanted me to eat her womanhood. Then, at last, she juddered with a massively powerful orgasm and I drank well on her cum juices as if it were the very nectar of eternal youth. She laughed and ruffled my hair as I continued to burry my face in her pussy and worship her by lapping her juices. I was her girl and in those moments my only purpose was to give her lesbian pleasure. There was and could be no other point to my existence. "Stand up sweetie" she cooed. Slowly I picked myself up off the floor. My eyes still half closed in ecstatic lesbian communion with the smell of my lover's pussy. Then, in graceful slow motion she knelt down before me and nestled her beautiful dusky head in my groin and I, in my turn, could feel the quivvering pleasures of her loving tongue fluttering gently at my pussy. I threw my head back and moaned with bliss, it felt so good, so sweet. Oh how I shivered with pure sexual pleasure, running my fingers through her beautiful hair as my juices began to flow for her to drink upon - just as I had drunk so eagerly from her. I could feel the sensual touch of her loving hands, gently stroking and squeezing my buttocks, drawing me to her as she lapped her fluttering tongue playfully at my clitoris. I rolled my eyes and bit my bottom lip as the blissful sensation became more and more intense. I could hear myself moaning and grunting with pleasure. Then, I don't know why, a thought intruded from somewhere deep at the back of my mind. It was a voice that sounded like one of the church leaders from my youth; an austere, respectable Christian woman. I recalled the time she'd lectured the girls in our youth group about the "evils" of lesbianism. I could hear her now warning us about how lesbians were "selfish rejectors of Christ". Surrendering themselves to "base unnatural lusts" willfully choosing to reject God and his teachings in order to live a "depraved lesbian lifestyle". All lesbians were "filthy perverts", and what they did together was "dirty" and "sick" - a "vile abomination" in the eyes of God. In that moment I looked down to savour the view of myself grinding my groin against the pretty face of a sexy asian woman. I trembled with sexual pleasure as those words both admonished and excited me. I turned to watch us in the mirror as I indulged my perverted desires. I wondered what that Christian youth leader would make of me if she could see me now! That quiet, good little girl who was oh so helpful, had grown up to become a filthy lesbian pervert, grinding her fanny into her girlfriend's face. It was true in a way. I was indeed consumed by these "unnatural lusts"! Then, suddenly, I realised just how turned on I was by being labelled a dirty pervert. It made the sex so much more filthy, animalistic and dangerous. It was thrilling in a way straight sex could never be. Exchanging a wicked smile with myself in the mirror I revelled in the forbidden pleasure of it all and rubbed my groin vigorously against my lover's face. "You dirty, filthy lesbian!" I told myself as I gasped and moaned with pleasure. I was finally free. I came. My orgasm was explosive and powerful. It seemed to go on for ages. I gasped and moaned loudly as I came, pressing her pretty face into my groin to try to make the moment last forever. It was the most powerful orgasm I had ever known. No experience with my husband even came close. Indeed orgasms of any kind with my husband had been as rare as polar bears in the saharah. A tear of pleasure and sadness rolled down my cheek as I realised just how empty and sterile my sex life had been before this moment. My lady lapped up my cum juices eagerly until she could finally sense I had finished having my orgasm. Then she gave me a final loving lick before gently looking up at me. "Have you finished cumming yet sweetie?" I nodded and smiled at her as I ruffled her hair. We then retired to the bedroom and slipped into bed together. We cuddled together naked, kissing and gently caressing each other's backs, necks and bums. We pressed our breasts and out pussies against each others naked bodies and moaned gently with the simple pleasure of intimate lesbian company. I can't recall how long we cuddled before I finally drifted off to sleep, fully sexually satisfied in a way that I had never known before in my life. Sunday morning arrived in time. I awoke to the light of the morning sun filtering through the hotel room curtains and the gentle caress and kisses of my lover. We cuddled and caressed, drank lustfully from each others' eyes, and gently masturbated together for a while. Once we'd both cum, we knew it was time to get up and start the new day. We didn't say much. We both showered and got dressed, occasionally pausing to kiss, rub our bodies together suggestively as we squeezed past each other to get to the toilet or playfully smack each other on the bum when one or other of us bent down to put on our knickers. Then at last it was time for her to leave. At the door we paused for one last passionate kiss. "Bye sweetie" she whispered and then turned away. I smacked her bum playfully as she walked off, watching her lustfully as she walked provocatively down the corridor. She deliberately swayed her hips to show off her sexy bum as she went, knowing full well it would make me wet. Occassionally she looked back at me with a knowing smile - a smile designed to remind me of the forbidden pleasures we had shared together. Then, all too soon she was gone. A man, couple of doors down the corridor, was leaning out of his door to pick up his paper and and his breakfast. I was aware he was looking at me out of the corner of his eye. No doubt he'd spotted the two lesbians kissing passionately and patting each others' bums as one departed the other's room after a night of illict gay sex. I didn't care that he knew. It was only the truth after all. A few days later my business trip was over and, all too soon, I was on my way back home to my sterile, boring, marriage. But everything had changed. Nothing would ever be the same again. I was under no illusions after that night. I had known my marriage and everything about my former respectable heterosexual life was utterly dooomed the very instant a sexy asian woman had made me cum in the dark corner of a lesbian bar. Of course my marriage was in ruins. It limped on in its own dull hollow way for a few more years. In the end my husband and I couldn't stand to live in such a loveless sham anymore. 3 years on, at the age of 37, I was divorced and living alone as a single lesbian in my own flat. And, sure enough, within a couple of weeks of moving in, I found myself naked in bed with a sexy young girlie. But that's a story for another time! For now, let's just say that my new life had begun. Gone forever was the normal, respectable, Christian wife, living her "good", if boring, conventional life. Anyway, what is "good"? I finally learnt the truth about "good". Cumming is good. And, if that means you need to live a "depraved lesbian lifestyle" in order to cum, then so be it.