Date: Tue, 28 Sep 2021 07:38:46 -0400 From: Peyton Jones Subject: Zoey's Request chapter 4 Zoey's Request This story is the property of the author and cannot be reproduced or distributed without specific consent of the author. This work is Copyrighted. All Rights Reserved. It is written for your enjoyment only. Chapter Four A Story By Peyton The next Saturday Jana told Vic she needed to go by her place before the game. Vic and Jana kissed as Jana and Ava made their way out the door, "See you in a bit, I love you," said Jana. "I love you too," Vic said as she stayed behind since it was too early for Addie to be at the game. Vic agreed to take separate cars and meet Jana at the game. Vic arrived and sat in her usual spot which now wasn't by Faith who had moved next to the other parents. She watched her phone for Jana to tell her she had arrived at the game. By halftime Jana and Ava hadn't arrived. Vic texted Jana to find out where she was and what was taking her so long. Still she got no response from Jana. She became concerned because if Jana was going to be late she would have texted Vic. By the end of the game she grew worried and let it be known by her facial expressions and mannerisms. Faith knowing her friends mannerisms picked up that something was not right. Faith took Marilyn after the game and walked over to where Vic and Addie were slowly walking back to their car while Vic texted Jana for the umpteen time. She even had Addie text Ava too. "Everything alright over here?" Faith asked still concerned over her friend. "I don't know," Vic responded. "I can't get in touch with Jana." "I'm sure everything is fine. She probably got hung up in traffic," Faith said giving her friend reassurance. "She was just running over to her place. How much traffic can there be on a Saturday morning? I would think if she were going to be late, she would have called to let me know," Vic worriedly explained. They continued to walk to their cars as Vic got in to drive home still trying to call Jana. When she got home she really became worried as it had been almost three hours since she kissed Jana goodbye this morning. She waited another thirty minutes when her cell phone rang. She saw it was Jana's mother calling and she sighed a sign of relief. Jana must have gone to her mother's house and her cell phone had died on her Vic thought. "Hello," Vic answered. "Get over to Riverside Hospital. Apparently Jana and Ava have been in an accident. My neighbor is driving me there now. The deputy who came by the house said it was serious and the doctor would be waiting to talk to me when I get there," Jana's mom said. Vic put her phone down and immediately called to Addie. "Addie come here, hurry. Jana and Ava have been in an accident. We need to get to the hospital," Vic shouted to Addie. Addie was finishing getting out of the shower having changed out of her soccer uniform. Her hair was still wet as she threw on other clothes and together they were out of the door. The drive to the hospital seemed to take forever yet took no more time than it normally would take. Then again time flew by for Vic who had lost all sense of time as she drove thinking about her lover and soon to be step-daughter who she was hurrying to see. Jana's mom had told them to come in through the emergency room entrance and ask for Dr. Gordon. She saw Jana's mom inside as her mom was waiting on Dr. Gordon to come out. He had been assisting with another patient. When Dr. Gordon came out there was another man in a suit and tie escorting him. "I'm Dr. Gordon and this is Chaplain Roberts," he said. Immediately upon hearing the mention of the chaplain a shocked look came to both Jana's mother and Vic's face. Vic's knees felt weak and if it hadn't been for Addie there to hold her up she would have buckled and collapsed. "I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but her injuries were too severe and we couldn't save your daughter Jana. Ava, we have up on the third floor. She is in critical condition and her prognosis is promising but we will know more in the next forty-eight hours," Dr. Gordon told them. "Chaplain Roberts will assist you with arrangements." After that Vic didn't hear a word that was said. Jana's mom sat down in a chair as if she were in shock. Vic openly wept calling out Jana's name over and over. "I can take you to Ava if you would like," the chaplain said offering an alternative to sitting there and crying. "Is she really gone?" Jana's mother questioned the chaplain. "I'm afraid so. If it's any consolation, I don't think she suffered. She died on impact," the chaplain said. "I want to see my granddaughter," Jana's mother stated. She started out the door then turned around to see Vic still sitting there crying saying Jana's name over and over. "Vic, come on. There is nothing we can do for Jana now. We have to focus on Ava. She needs us more than ever," she called to Vic. They rode the elevator up to the third floor where the chaplain turned to address Vic who had Addie with her. "There's a waiting room over there for her to wait. I don't think they will allow her inside the room," the chaplain said pointing to Addie. "She goes where I go. She just lost her mom and her sister is lying in a hospital bed and may not make it," Vic abruptly said to the chaplain. "I'm not leaving her alone." "We need to clear it with the nurse," the chaplain softly replied. After clearing it with the nurse who had a sympathetic heart they let Addie in the room. Ava had suffered a broken leg, a concussion, and a deep head wound plus multiple cuts and abrasions. The injury that was causing doctors the most concern besides the head wound was the collapsed lung as it kept collapsing on them. They all took turns sitting by the bed holding Ava's hand, even Addie who seemed as concerned as the others. Their vigil would take them into the night lasting for the next seventy- two hours. The doctors kept Ava under twilight anesthesia for pain and because of her mom for an additional forty-eight hours while the others kept their vigil only going home when it was required. Vic kept Addie out of school until they knew the status of Ava. Addie watched with her mom and Ava's grandmother, keeping an eye on Ava. Vic and Jana's mother tried to split their time into shifts but neither wanted stay away for more than a few hours. On the fifth day doctors allowed Ava to come out of her twilight and Vic and Ava's grandmother broke the news to her. She cried as did the others until later in the day when she asked where she was going to live as her grandmother was unable to take care of her. "Why can't she come live with us?" Addie offered. "I'm not her legal guardian. Jana and I weren't married yet," Vic said. "Vic, Jana intended for you two to get married and for Ava to become your daughter. I don't see how anything has changed since Jana's death. We could file papers making you Ava's legal guardian and I can sign over her care to you," Ava's grandmother said. "Oh I see someone is awake," Ava's nurse commented came into the room after a few days off. "How are you feeling?" she asked. Ava's nurse was named Chris. She was the one who allowed Addie to stay in the room with Ava because while Vic didn't recognize her in her scrubs, she had sat with Vic at some of Addie's soccer games. "My leg hurts, my heads throbbing and my ribs hurt every time I take a deep breath," Ava told her. Chris checked the medicine dose and before she left said, "I upped your medicine a little. That should ease the pain. But you're going to feel a little woozy for a few minutes while the medicine takes effect. If it's too much you will have to deal with the pain," she told Ava. "How are you doing?" she said going and crouching down to Vic taking her hands in hers. Vic had tears streaming down her face again as the thought of losing Jana kept coming back to her. "I'm sure you don't remember me with all that that has happened to you. My daughter Brooke plays soccer in the same league as Addie here and you and I have talked at the games. Let me know if there is anything I can do. I lost my wife five years ago to breast cancer so I know how hard it is to lose the love of your life," Chris offered. Faith had noticed Vic's car was only there a short time those few days and she finally was able to catch her friend at home on the third night. "What are you doing here?" Vic said as she opened the door obviously crying. "I noticed your car hasn't been around here a lot and I wanted to check on you to be sure you were alright," Faith said to Vic. "I'm fine. Thanks for your concern," Vic said and tried to shut the door slamming it in Faith's face. Faith ranged the doorbell again. When no one answered it she tried opening the door finding it locked. She rang the bell again and kept knocking until Addie came downstairs and opened it. "My mom doesn't want to talk to you. She told me to tell you and I quote "take your homophobic ass and go home," Addie told Faith hesitantly because she knew she shouldn't be talking to an adult that way. "It's alright honey. I deserve that. Where is she?" Faith said as she barged in the door passed Addie. "She's in the kitchen," Addie told her. As Faith walked in the kitchen, Vic looked at her with tears still flowing from her eyes. "I told you to go home. I'm fine," Vic said as she saw Faith walk in the kitchen. "No you're not or you wouldn't be crying. I know we have had our differences lately but I am here now for you when apparently you need it the most unlike your so called girlfriend," Faith tried again being sarcastic and not realizing she was being unsympathetic. "No you've had your differences. I've tried to talk to but you shut me out," Vic said curtly. "Vic, please. I'm trying to understand. But now is not the time to disagree. My best friend is needing someone to comfort her. Where is your girlfriend anyway?" Faith pleaded with Vic. Vic took a look at Faith. She began to cry harder. "It's Jana. She's gone," Vic sobbed. "Well that was quick," Faith said thinking Jana had left Vic for someone else. "What did she do?" "She died," Vic said trying to be blunt. Faith stood there in shock not able to say anything. Her mouth just hung open. She was able to get her feelings under control and go to Vic and give her a hug. "Did you say she died? How? When?" Faith asked. "Saturday, car accident," Vic tried to get out of her mouth through the sobs. Faith hugged Vic tight. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. What can I do?" Faith asked her. "I don't know. I'm still in shock. I've been at the hospital sitting with Ava each day," Vic said finally letting her tears end for a minute. "Ava was in it too? Is she hurt? How is she?" Faith said now concerned. Vic nodded her head. "Jana's mom, Addie and I have been keeping watch over her." Faith put her hands to Vic's face and using her thumbs to wipe the tears falling from Vic's eyes. "I want to help. Anything I can do let me know, anything," she said again hugging Vic. "Thank you. I may need your help with Ava. Her grandmother is unable to care for her and she wants me to have custody of her," Vic said. "I can watch her during the day while you are at work and Addie is at school," Faith offered. "That would be a big help," Vic said. "Right now I need to get back to the hospital." "Vic, I am truly sorry. I know how much you were in love with her," Faith said as she held both of Vic's hands. "We were, not that you noticed," Vic said with some venom in her voice still upset with Faith. Faith ignored Vic's comments as she knew her friend was hurting from the loss of her lover and also the hurt from the way Faith had been treating her. When Vic came home the next day she found Faith had managed to clean her house and prepare a room downstairs for Ava. Vic had her best friend back at the time she needed her the most. The doctors wouldn't let Ava attend her mom's funeral so Addie came up with the idea of videoing it so Ava could see it live. Faith volunteered to stay with Ava and sat at her bedside holding her hand through the whole ceremony since her lung had not healed enough to go home. Vic, Addie and Jana's mom came back to the hospital right after the funeral to be with Ava. By now Ava was feeling much better and as long as no mention was made of her mom she was able to hold her emotions inside. The weeks rolled by and Ava went home to Vic's. The healing process had begun for everyone involved including between Faith and Vic. Marilyn became a regular visitor at the Langley home and even she was a big help with Ava. Six months passed and both of Addie's and Ava's birthdays and other than a few scars that had yet to heal plus the memory of her mom, everything seemed to be healed or healing for Ava. She even was able to get her cast off too. Everything but for Vic who was having a hard time letting go of the memories of Jana. The girls noticed that a few times a week Vic cried herself to sleep or was in a morbid mood the next morning. They even talked to Faith asking her what they could do. Faith acknowledged she didn't know and said Vic's healing process had not fully accepted that Jana had pass away. She said when Vic accepted that Jana had passed away and wasn't coming back she would return to normal. The first sign that it had was not a sign any of the girls would have noticed. One night Vic pulled out one of her toys. Though she used it imaging it was Jana, none the less it was a sign she was beginning to accept Jana's passing. Vic decided once she had crawled in bed she was feeling a little sad so she decided she hadn't used her toy for a while. Instead of pulling out the seven inch vibrator, she pulled out her magic wand. She normally didn't use it when Addie or now Ava were around because of the noise it made but at this point it didn't matter to her. She took off her panties and turned it on low to start off. "Oh fuck," she said when she touched her clit with it. She held it in place getting the most out of it before she turned up the speed. "Oh fuck, whoa," she called out as the intensity increased. She moved it up and down enjoying the sensation it was providing. As she neared her orgasm she thought of Jana and called out her name, "Jana, oh my Jana, I love you so much." She said Jana several times until she came not once but three times then she put the wand down and called out to Jana, "Jana, I love you. Why did you have to go? I miss you my love. Make this pain and loneliness go away." Ava had come down the hallway and was about to knock on Vic's door when she heard her mother call out her other mother's name. Tears ran down Ava's face as she too missed her mom but what she realized was just how much her other mother was in pain and missing her too. The next day before Addie got up, Ava came down and sat at the breakfast table with Vic, "I know you love her and I do too. I heard you last night," Ava began which stunned Vic as she thought she had been careful when the girls were around. "I couldn't sleep and was going to ask you if I could sleep with you." "What did you hear?" Vic asked almost afraid of Ava's response. "That you were missing my mom and you wanted the pain and loneliness to go away. Mom, my counselor at school told me it will never go away. Try to remember the good in her and don't dwell on the fact she has left us. It's her leaving that hurts and if we try to remember those times that we all had fun, she will always be with us in a good way and the pain of her leaving us will eventually dwindle," Ava said. Vic held out her arms to hug and kiss Ava who leaned over to hug Vic back. Addie came in and seeing the two of them hug said, "Family hug!" Addie startled both Ava and Vic who were absorbed in their hug and not paying attention to their surroundings. She didn't hear Vic tell Ava whenever she was lonely again she could sleep with her. "What do you say we make a day for us girls? We should go out for breakfast then go to the mall and go shopping. We can finish off the day with dinner and cuddle up on the couch and rent a movie," Vic said. "Yeah, that's sounds like fun," Addie joyously said. "Oooh, I can get those jeans I saw in the mall a while back," Ava added. After a day of shopping which included breakfast, and getting pizza delivered for dinner they settled in to watch a movie. Initially Addie was on the left side and Ava on the right with Vic sandwiched in between. On Vic's lap was a bowl of popcorn. They watched the movie for a while until Addie got down and lay on the floor. Ava stayed next to Vic and placed her head on Vic's shoulder. "Are you missing your mom or are you wanting to get close to me?" Vic asked Ava jokingly. "Does it matter? What if I said I wanted to be close to you?" Ava looked up at Vic smiling. Vic gave Ava an extra hug and bent over kissing her on the forehead. Vic ignored Ava's question and came back with her own, "You know how much you remind me of her?" Ava smiled at Vic and said, "Well I am missing her, but I'm also glad she chose you to be her wife. My mom could not have picked a more loving, caring person to be my second mom. Thank you for taking care of me and being there for me when I needed you the most," Ava said looking at Vic with loving eyes. "You're welcome sweetie," Vic softly said and smiled at Ava. Vic leaned over kissed Ava's forehead again as they continued to watch the movie. The next day Ava was up early and had Addie up helping her fix breakfast for Vic as a way of thanking her for yesterday. A week later Vic heard a knock on her bedroom door after she had turned out the light in bed. "Come in," she said knowing it was either Ava or Addie or both. Ava walked into her bedroom and up to the bed. "Can I sleep with you tonight?" "Sure honey," Vic said and pulled the covers back letting Ava have room to get in the bed. "Are you feeling lonely?" "Yes, but I was just wanting to cuddle up to you tonight," Ava responded. Ava got in bed cuddling up against Vic who put her arm around Ava. Ava laid her head in the crook of Vic's shoulder and upper chest resting her hand on Vic's upper chest. Vic could feel Ava's hand on her upper chest resting between the upper swells of her breasts. She lay still thinking she didn't want to embarrass Ava by moving her hand down some but then she felt Ava's thumb and it felt like Ava was lightly tracing the outline of the upper swell of her one breast. She tried to ignore it but the more pressure Ava used the more it was turning Vic on. She soon fell asleep but before she was completely out she thought she felt Ava move her thumb over the top of her breast and rub her nipple. The next thing she knew, she was waking up in the morning with light coming in through her bedroom window. She glanced over at Ava curled up next her sleeping soundly with her back to her. A few months later soccer had started back up and Vic had taken Addie to her game. Ava didn't go because she was going to the mall with some of her friends now that she was sixteen. Vic and Ava were talking about getting Ava a car soon so she would be able to drive herself to school and run errands for Vic. A familiar lady walked up seeing Vic in the stands and came up to her and Faith. "Hi, do you remember me?" The woman asked Vic. "You are...I can't remember your name but you have a daughter who plays soccer with my Addie," Vic replied. "That's right. But more importantly I was one of your daughter's nurses when she was in hospital. How is she doing?" the lady continued. "Oh Ava, she's doing fine, back to normal. She's at the mall with some of her friends," Vic said. "I didn't recognize you without your scrubs on." "It's alright. You were pretty out of it those days after losing you partner. I'm very sorry. I don't think you remember but I told you my wife past away from cancer a few years ago. I know what it's like to lose your loved one. After a minute she added, "Our younger daughters are playing on the opposite teams. Mine plays offense and yours defense," Chris gave a hint to Vic. "I'm sorry, I didn't remember your name from back then," Vic apologized to the Chris. "It's no wonder. From the stress you were going through you look amazing now. I'm Chris, Chris Adair and that's my daughter Brooke is over there," she told Vic as she pointed out Brooke to her. "How are you doing with everything?" Chris asked. "I'm fine, thank you," Vic told Chris not wanting to get into this discussion as Vic was unsure if she could keep her emotions in check. "If I asked your daughters would they say the same thing?" Chris asked giving a look to both Vic and then to Faith who she could see slightly shaking her head. "I'm fine," Vic said again this time sounding a little more uncomfortable than before. "Well if you need to talk to someone, I would be more than happy to talk with you. Since I lost my wife several years ago there are days that I still find it hard to get out of bed," Chris said and started to get up to leave. Chris was up and had turned to leave when Faith nudged Vic. Vic touched Chris's arm and held her there. "Wait, I'm sorry I was rude to you. It's I'm just beginning to turn the corner and any mention of Jana sets me back." "I fully understand. May I sit next to you?" Chris politely asked. "We can talk another time when you feel more comfortable if you like." "Your daughter is very good," Vic commented after watching Brooke play for a while. "Soccer is her one passion. She's been playing it for four years. She is very athletic," Chris commented. "Has she adjusted to the loss of your wife?" Vic asked after a while. "They never fully do and we don't either. It's best not to mourn their loss but to celebrate their love. I've taught my daughter she should remember the good things her mother did for her. The problem was she was only five when her mother left us and it was easier on her than it was on me. I struggled every night with the loneliness of not having her by my side. Sadie fought a brave battle but five months after they discovered the cancer she lost her battle. She never gave up and was giving me and Brooke instructions right up to the end," Chris stated. "It must have been hard for you. I can't imagine. It was hard enough for me not being able to say goodbye," Vic said remembering saying goodbye that morning and later learning Jana was gone. "There is never an easy way. We all process sadness and loss in our own way. There is no magical switch we can turn off and it will all be behind us. That's why I am willing to help you through yours," Chris told Vic. "I appreciate the help. Maybe we can go for coffee sometime and talk," Vic said and was opening up to someone which made Faith very happy. Faith had watched her friend through so many days of ups and downs trying to get over Jana's passing. "I would very much like that," Chris smiled. After the game was over Chris and Vic exchanged numbers and parted. "Are you going to call her?" Faith asked as they walked to their cars. "I don't know, maybe. You didn't approve of me seeing Jana. Chris is a lesbian too. You heard her say she lost her wife didn't you?" Vic said not sounding sure of herself. "I know but now I know what Jana meant to you. You need to move on and if dating another woman is what you need, then I will support you one hundred percent," Faith stated. "I'm not looking for a date. Just someone to talk to who has been in the same situation," Vic responded. "In this case you get the whole enchilada. Not only did she lose her wife, she is a counselor and has a daughter Addie and Marilyn's age. Not to mention she is a looker too. What do you have to lose?" Faith questioned Vic. "I'm not looking for someone to replace Jana," she repeated softly. "You need to talk to someone besides me," Faith sighed. Two weeks went by before Faith brought it up again. "Have you called Chris yet?" "No," Vic replied sitting in the stands next to Faith. "What are you waiting for? She told you she would be waiting for your call," Faith said sounding concerned. Faith took Vic's phone away from her and started texting a message. "What are you doing? Give me my phone back!" Vic said to Faith but she didn't resist either which told Faith she had an interest but was too afraid to do anything. Vic watched as Faith texted in the message Faith wanted to send. "Chris, are you doing anything tonight? I would love to take you up on your offer. How about meeting me at "Girlfriends" tonight at eight? Vic." Before Vic could say no or change her mind she hit send. "Wait, I want to see what you are sending," Vic said. "Too late, I aIready sent it," Faith replied. A minute later she got a reply, "Ooh a gay and lesbian bar. It's been years since I have been to one. I would love to join you tonight. Let me pick you up. I don't want anyone grabbing you up before I get there. I'm on field four watching Brooke. Which field are you on?" Vic and Chris texted back and forth about the games each of their daughters were playing until Vic received a text from Chris, "Got to go, Brooke's been hurt," then there no more texts from Chris. Vic told Faith if she wasn't back in time to take Addie home and went to see how Brooke was as she took off. As Vic got to field four she looked around for Chris. She found her over by the bench where they had Brooke and another girl from the opposing side. Brooke and the other girl were crying and obviously in pain. Chris being a nurse was working on Brooke but she was also helping the parent of the other girl. Vic walked up to see if there was anything she could do. Chris's training had kicked in and she immediately was directing Vic to help her wrap Brooke's leg as she had a nasty cut on it. While Vic was helping Brooke she heard her mom say to the parents of the other girl they should take her to the hospital and have it x-rayed as she suspected the girl had broken her leg. After the parents of the other girl left, Chris told Vic the girls had collided at full speed and their legs got crossed. The one girl went flying which is why Chris suspected she had a broken leg. Brooke caught the cleat of the other girl on her shin before they both went down. "You came all the way over here to check up on Brooke?" Chris asked. "You sounded like it was serious and I was concerned," Vic replied. "Thank you. You're so sweet," Chris said and touched Vic's hand. "Brooke you remember Ms. Langley, Addie's mom, don't you?" "Yes, thank you for wrapping my leg," Brooke said through the sobs. "You're welcome. I'm sure your mom will have to rewrap it when you get home," Vic apologized to Brooke. "Vic, under the circumstances I don't think I don't think I can make our date tonight. Why don't you, Ava and Addie come over to our place instead and I can make a pot of spaghetti for everyone? I think Brooke could use her favorite dish tonight for what she went through today," Chris asked again placing her hand on Vic's arm. This time Vic felt a feeling she hadn't felt since Jana placed her hand on Vic back in the gay bar when they had first met. "Are you sure we wouldn't be imposing? After all there are three of us. We could postpone our date until another time?" Vic stated. "Not a chance. I never thought you would call let alone make plans for the two of us. I'm not about to pass up an opportunity like this," Chris stated with a grin. "I look forward to it then," Vic said. "Here's my address and be there at six," Chris stated. "Anything I can bring?" Vic questioned. "A loaf of French bread so I can make garlic bread and a bottle of red wine for us long as you drink," Chris told her. Vic made her way back to her field in time to watch the very end of the game. "Where are we going?" Ava asked when she found out they were going out when Addie and Vic returned from the game. "Over to a friend's house for dinner," Vic replied. "It's some lady mom has the hots for," Addie added. "No its not! Why would you say that Addie?" Vic smiled and questioned Addie. "Yeah, why would you say that?" Ava asked knowing or thinking she knew the answer. "Because every time she mentions her, she gets the same look on her face like she used to get when she would mention your mom," Addie offered. "Well I think it's sweet. It's about time you got out and lived your life. Mom would not have wanted you to sit around and mope and think about what you lost. She would want you going out and having a good time," Ava stated. "You don't mind me going out with someone else even if it means I'm replacing your mom which I'm not?" Vic asked Ava. "Is that what you are doing, replacing my mom? She would tell you not to replace her in your heart but to make room for another person to share it with. You can love more than one person at a time and not be replacing her," Ava explained. "Since when did you get so smart?" Vic asked with a smile. "Besides we are just having dinner," Vic stated thinking about what Ava just said. "So where did you meet this woman?" Ava asked. "She met her at one of my soccer games which you don't go to anymore," Addie said Vic noticing a little jealousy in her voice. "Sorry about that pumpkin spice," Ava said and giggled. "Hey, mom can call me pumpkin but you can't and the name is pumpkin not pumpkin spice," Addie said as she pushed on Ava's back of the seat in the car. "You better settle this difference between you two before we get over there," Vic said chuckling at the two. "You may not remember Chris, but she was your nurse on the day shift while you were in the hospital, Ava," Vic mentioned. "Oh yeah, I remember her. She was the cute little one. Heck I had a girl crush on her and I'm not sure I'm into girls," Ava giggled. "I thought I recognized her. She was the nice one who let me in the room even though I wasn't old enough to get in. She is cute. She looks different when she isn't in her uniform," Addie commented. "We have to stop at the grocery store to pick up a loaf of French bread and a bottle of wine before we get there," Vic spoke out loud. "I can go in. It's not much to get," Ava said. "Aren't you forgetting one small detail?" Vic reminded Ava as she was going to get out of the car. Ava stopped and looked back at her mom questioning her. "You're age. You have to be twenty-one to buy the wine," Vic reminded her. "Oh yeah, I forgot," Ava said with a laugh. "Way to go dork," Addie said to Ava. "Let's all go in and while I get the bread and wine you two can pick out something in the dessert area you would enjoy and be able to share with Chris and Brooke," Vic said. "Come on pumpkin spice. It's you and me girl," Ava said again to Addie. "Don't call me that," Addie said and grabbed Ava. By the time they entered the store Ava had her arm around Addie's shoulder and left it there as they walked in hand in hand Addie holding Ava's hand that was on her shoulder. Vic got a loaf of bread and a very good red wine as she wanted to make this a special occasion like Ava had alluded to in the car. Addie and Ava had got a chocolate cake adorned by strawberries and for Chris a very nice thank you card thanking her for taking care of Ava while she was in the hospital. Both of them signed it but Addie's note made Vic come to tears. It read, "Thank you for caring for my sister. I'm glad you were able to save her life. I love her very much." Once they were over at Chris's home, Brooke let them in. "Mom's in the kitchen. The spaghetti was boiling over and she needed to take it off the stove," Brooke said as she let everyone in the door. "I'm In here," they heard Chris call out. Vic immediately walked towards the voice carrying the wine and bread. The three girls trailed, Ava carrying the cake and Addie the card. Once in the kitchen Vic went to the counter pulling out the bread and asking for the butter and minced garlic and parsley so she could make garlic bread. Ava set the cake down on the counter and Addie put the card next to the cake. Then the girls went in to the next room and set the table for five people. Vic opened the wine and handed Chris a glass then she poured herself a glass. Chris clanked Vic's glass and said, "May we have those in our arms whom we love in our hearts." "Oh a true romantic," Vic said as Chris toasted them. "That is one of two or three I know other than down the hatch or something or another," she said with a laugh. "I like your first one," Vic commented. "I do to," Chris said and looked at Vic. "Girls, is the table ready?" Chris called out to which she heard three replies, "Yes mom, yes ma'am and yes. "Shall we?" Chris said to Vic as she picked up the spaghetti and Vic the sauce. They had to come back for the bread pulling it out of the oven along with the salad plus picking up the wine with a pitcher of iced tea for the girls. After dinner they shared the cake so everyone could enjoy it and Addie made sure Chris read the card. She opened it and showed it to Vic before she went over and gave both girls a hug. "That was sweet Addie," Chris said. Ava got to read it too and she shed a tear, "Thank you pumpkin spice, I love you too." Addie gave Ava a glare from across the table then she smiled at Ava which all noticed then they all laughed. Chris and Vic sat at the table sipping the wine and chatting while the three girls went into the game room and searched the television for something to watch. Addie and Brooke mostly talked about soccer. As it approached time to leave Brooke asked if Addie could stay over. "That's up to her mom. It's okay with me," Chris said. "Oh honey, she doesn't have anything to wear," Vic responded to Brooke's question. "I'm sure Brooke can find something for me. We are the same size. Can I mom?" she asked. Vic looked over at Ava for some type of reaction but she gave Vic no clue as to what she was thinking. "I suppose. Behave Addie. Listen to Mrs. Adair," she told Addie. "I'll have her home around noon," Chris added. On the ride home Ava opened up about Vic and her mom. "Mom are you staying home because of me?" "Why would you say that?' Vic asked. "Because you don't go out. Mrs. Adair is the first woman I've seen you with since my mom died. It's been a year now and I want you to know it's okay to date someone else. My mom wouldn't mind. She would even encourage it. I want you to be happy and not thinking you have to stay home because of me," Ava explained. "Ava I assure you I am not staying home because of you. I didn't date much before I met your mother. It was just something I did and had to force myself to go out," Vic told Ava. "Mom said she was the first woman you went out with," Ava told her. "Yes she was the first and only woman I went out with," Vic told Ava. "Are you going back to dating guys or are you going to stay with women," Ava later questioned after a period of silence. "I don't know, I just don't know," Vic commented. "Mrs. Adair is really pretty and she is super nice. It's alright if you date her," Ava commented. "Are you trying to set me up?" Vic asked with a grin. "Maybe," Ava answered sheepishly. "I was thinking I want to date girls too. I find them more attractive than boys," Ava told Vic out of the blue. "Oh really?" Vic asked Ava not sounding surprised. "Would you mind if I do?" Ava asked. "You have plenty of time to decide who you would like to date. You aren't dating anyone right now so you have time to think about it," Vic stated. "I want to find someone like Addie. She's cute, she's sweet and we get along well," Ava continued surprising and shocking Vic. "Ava you're not suggesting you two have done anything, are you?" Vic asked now worried about Ava and Addie when she wasn't watching them. "No gross, she is my sister. I would never do anything with her. I mean someone like her. She is smart and pretty. What's there not to like? If I could find someone like her, I would be head over heels for them. I mean I love her, just not in that way," Ava clarified. Vic took a pause and a sighed. She was concerned there was an incestuous relationship going on behind her back in her own house that she was going to have to deal with. For the time being she was going to keep an eye on them especially Ava who must be going through a hormonal period. They arrived home and went straight to change out of their clothes into their nightwear. Vic was having a hard time getting her conversation with Ava out of her head. Was she telling the truth about her and Addie? Did she really have a desire to date girls? How would she handle it? She herself was new to this dating thing and look how that ended? She thought of Ava and realized overnight she had grown into a woman with breast and shapely hips. How would her mother react to this overnight change in her? She wasn't prepared for it. With Addie she had time but with Ava the time was now. They went to bed but unlike the previous times Ava asked Vic if she could sleep with her since Addie was gone. Vic reluctantly agreed because of what happened the previous times but now also because of what Ava told her about Addie. They changed for bed but Vic noticed unlike the previous nights, this time Ava wore a button-up shirt but left the top three buttons unbuttoned, and cute laced panties which Vic thought were too sexy to wear as sleep ware especially a young girl like Ava. They crawled into bed with Ava moving over close to Vic. Ava kept looking up at Vic as though she wanted to say something. "I feel you staring at me. What is on your mind?" she finally asked Ava. "I know why my mom was attracted you. You are so beautiful," Ava softly said. "Thank you. That is very sweet of you. You know your mom would be very proud of you. You are the spitting image of her. You have developed into a very beautiful young woman yourself," Vic said as she took Ava's hair and placed it behind her ear then ran the back of her fingers along Ava's cheek. She could see down Ava's shirt and could see the swell of Ava's small breasts. Ava took Vic's hand from her cheek and held it for a moment then kissed it never taking her eyes from Vic. For just for a moment Vic closed her eyes imagining it was Jana kissing her hand and her imagining it was Jana's breast she was looking at. When she reopened her eyes, Ava had her lips on her and was kissing her. Vic froze sending a false message to Ava that she was giving in to her wills and Ava took advantage of it and gently squeezed Vic's breast. Vic moaned giving more encouragement to Ava. She was about to place her hand to the back of Ava's neck and pull her into her when she finally came to her senses instead pushing Ava up. "Ava I'm so sorry. I know better. You are a beautiful young woman but you are just that, young. I'm twice your age and I'm your mother. We can't be doing what I know you want to," Vic said. "For the record you're my guardian and other than age there are no rules or laws forbidding us from having a relationship," Ava replied sounding disappointed as she laid her head down on Vic's shoulder. The next day Chris brought Addie home from spending the night with Brooke. Apparently the Addie and Brooke had become very close friends which added to Vic's dilemma. How was this going to affect Addie's relationship with Marilyn or Addie's relationship with Ava? "Come in, I need to talk to you," Vic said to Chris as she opened the door. "You sound worried. What happened?" Chris asked now sounding concerned. "Girls go upstairs, please, there is something I want to discuss with your mother. I don't know how to handle something that Ava and I talked about on the way home and I want to ask you both your professional and motherly advice," Vic said. "You're beginning to worry me, Vic, tell me what she said," Chris said. "Last night on the way home Ava brought up me dating," Vic started. "She mentioned you and wanted to know if I was going to go out with you." "Ava has good taste. I was hoping you would like me and we could see each other again," Chris stated. "That wasn't what I was going to say," Vic said smiling so that Chris knew Vic did want to go out with her. "Oh so you don't want to see me again?" Chris said pretending she was sad. "No, that's not what I wanted to say. Now you have me all confused. Yes, I do want to see you. Apparently so does Ava, me see you that is, although she does think you are pretty. Ava has developed an interest in girls and I'm not sure how to handle it," Vic explained. And how does that confuse you?" Chris asked. "There's more to it than that. She has developed an interest in her sister although she denies it. She told me she wanted to find someone like her sister who is sweet, pretty and smart that she could fall head over heels for," Vic continued to say. "That is borderline incest!" "First there's an age difference of what five years and at that age that's significant. Second they are not related so if anything happens it's technically not incest and third that is probably just her hormones talking. Let her go out with girls her age and don't restrict her to Addie all the time. You're just asking for trouble," Chris replied. "That wasn't the only thing that occurred between Ava and I that has me concerned. Last night Ava slept in my bed with me. This wasn't the first time either. She occasionally will miss her mom and come to me for comfort. She tried to kiss me on the lips and place her hand on my breast. I told her she was too young and I was her mother and it wasn't right. She then told me I was only her guardian and we were not breaking any rules," Vic explained. "It's common for daughters to develop a crush on their mothers especially ones who are as pretty as you and are standing in for their real mothers such as you are doing. It's a phase many young girls go through as they are dealing with their own hormones. Allow her to date some and see if that doesn't end her crush on you as she will find someone else who grabs her attention," Chris advised her. "And don't let her sleep in your bed anymore. You're encouraging her by your actions. The guardianship issue is one I would ignore as long as she is obeying you and not rebelling in any way?" "No, she is perfect in every way. I couldn't ask for a better daughter than Ava. In fact I was considering buying her a car now that she is sixteen going on seventeen," Vic added. "Now getting back to you and me. Vic, I like you a lot and I would like to see more of you," Chris told Vic. Vic looked at Chris with a puzzled look. So many things were going through her mind right now and she was having a time keeping them straight. "Chris, I like you too but I can't right now. It's too soon and I'm not ready," Vic said. "I understand. But don't let too much time get under you or you will end up like me." "Brooke, come on we have to go," Chris called to her daughter. On the way home Brooke noticed her mom was quiet. "Is everything okay mom?" Brooke asked. "Yes sweetie, why do you ask?" Chris asked back. "You seem to be sad and quiet. That's not like you," Brooke responded. "Everything will be fine," Chris responded placing her hand on Brooke's arm. As the days and weeks went by it was obvious everything wasn't fine. Chris had more thoughts about Sadie and even more about Vic. She missed Sadie but time had eroded into her memories. It was Vic she now had visions of, but even those grew fewer and farther between. Vic had been the first person Chris had felt anything for since she had lost her wife but Vic had shown no interest. Vic had shut her out and she had no contact with her since that day. Vic also seemed out of sorts. There were days she yelled at Ava and Addie for what seemed like nothing at all. Even Faith noticed it. "Is something bothering you? I've never seen you like this," Faith confronted Vic at the soccer game on Saturday. "No, I'm fine," Vic responded. "If you say so," Faith said then she thought about it. "No, I'm not going to let you say everything is okay when it is obvious everything is not. Talk to me, Victoria. I know Addie and Ava aren't causing any trouble so why are you yelling at them? Jana has been gone long enough for you to be over her," Faith was saying and hit a nerve with Vic. "Don't you dare blame this on Jana," Vic stated a little too loud. "Okay, that is part of it," Faith responded. "Vic, I've known you too long. I can read your thoughts before you know you have them. What is bothering you?" Vic started to cry as tears were running down her face. "I fucked up," she said. "So it's nothing that Addie and Ava have done," Faith said as Vic nodded her head. "And from your reaction, it wasn't Jana." "No, I still love and miss her," Vic acknowledged. "Then I don't understand how you fucked up?" Faith questioned. "With Chris, if I ever could pick a more perfect replacement for Jana, it would've been Chris," Vic started to say. "Wait, did you say replacement?" Faith questioned. "Why are you intent on replacing Jana? I thought you loved her?" Faith asked Vic. "I'm lonely without her," Vic said with her mouth trembling and tears still slowly coming from her eyes. "Hold that thought for a few minutes. The game is almost over and we need to have a serious talk," Faith said to her. The game ended and Marilyn and Addie came over to Faith and Vic. "Mommy, has Mrs. Langley been crying?" Marilyn quietly asked her mom. Faith nodded her head and held her finger to her mouth indicating she should be quiet about it. To Addie it wasn't abnormal to see Vic cry since Jana had left them. In fact once a week or more either Ava or her or both were consoling their mom. Faith took Vic's arm in hers and the two walked to their respective cars to head home. "We need to have a talk over at your place. Is Ava there?" Faith asked. "No, she's out with friends. She won't be home until late this afternoon," Vic responded. "Good, Marilyn and Addie can go upstairs and entertain themselves giving us time to talk," Faith said. Once they were home Faith sent Marilyn and Addie upstairs while she and Vic went to the kitchen with Faith making them coffee so they could talk around the kitchen table. "Honey you mentioned both Jana and Chris. I'm confused about your feelings for both of them. They are two distinct people who look different with different personalities and I'm afraid you are trying to compare them which isn't fair to you or to either of them," Faith stated. Vic tilted her head as if she didn't understand and opened her mouth as if to disagree with Faith's reasoning before Faith was able to continue and explain. "Jana was the love of your life and I understand that. But she is gone and as much as you don't want her to be gone nothing is going to bring her back. You have mourned enough and it's time to move on if for nothing else for Addie and Ava's sake. I can't tell you how many times Addie has been over and talked about you crying bringing up Jana," Faith began. "Then you met Chris and I saw the same look in your eyes I use to see when you looked at Jana. For a brief time I thought you had found someone that could help you with the loss of Jana. But just as quick as it came it was gone and you have fallen in the same rut you were in over Jana being gone. Once you told me you told Chris it was too soon it broke my heart. I wanted to see you happy again like the good old days," Faith continued. "Honey, Jana is gone and all that is left is her memory. Cherish your time together. It was special but don't compare her with Chris. No one can replace Jana. Chris is special too and she brings something Jana couldn't bring. That's the ability to know what it's like to lose someone you love. You haven't fucked it up, you never gave her a chance. Give her a call. Ask her if she will see you? See what she has to say. She may say she has moved on or she might say yes. What have you got to lose?" Faith pleaded with Vic. It was a few more weeks and after some prodding from her friend who had once told her it was against everything she believed in, Vic got up the nerve to call Chris. Unfortunately or maybe subconsciously she did it on purpose to avoid talking voice to voice with Chris, she knowingly called Chris while she was at work getting her voice mail, "Chris, this is Vic. I know I told you it was too soon and I wasn't ready but if you are willing, I would like to see you. Please give me a call," Vic said. Faith happened to be talking with Vic the next day and asked her if she had called Chris. "As a matter of fact, I have but it's only been a day. I got her voice mail because she was at work. She'll probably call me back tonight," Vic told her. Vic didn't receive a call from Chris that night or the next. In fact it was several days before she did. She had all but given up on Chris calling her back figuring she was mad at her and had moved on. She didn't blame her as Vic had led her on. "Hey Vic. It's Chris. Sorry I didn't return your call right away but my phone was stolen at work and it took this long for me to get to the store to replace it. I had to wait until the insurance company would allow me to replace it," Chris apologized to Vic. "I'm sorry. What happened?" Vic inquired. "Someone broke into the lockers at work in the gym where I work out and rummaged through several gym bags one of which was mine that contained my cell phone. The insurance company asked us not to access our voice mail until they completed their investigation to see if they could pinpoint who had stolen them. By the time I was able to replace it and access my voice mail I had over thirty voice mails and the same amount of text to go through and respond to," Chris told her. "Any way I got your message and I'm glad you called. Knowing how we ended it, I wanted to check on you to see if you were okay but was afraid to bother you. You know we can just talk as friends and there is no expectation for more. I didn't mean for you to think I was expecting more," Chris explained as she was leaving the door open to just a friendship. "No, it was my fault. I believe I led you on," Vic said giving Chris the impression there wasn't anything between them. "Please forgive me. I really thought I wasn't up to a relationship this soon." "And now?" Chris asked hearing what Vic said. "I'm all confused. Jana was the first woman ever I went out with and to this day I don't see myself as being queer. Going out with her seemed so natural. There wasn't anything about her, I mean when she and I were together, I couldn't think of anything odd or different about our relationship. Then I met you and I felt those same feelings all over again," Vic stammered. "Vic, listen to me. What you are going through is no different than I did after Sadie passed away. You're feeling guilty for enjoying life without Jana. Embrace the time you two shared. What would Jana want from you at this moment? What would she say to you about me? Would she be jealous and tell you not to date or would she say you've mourned enough and it is about time you've found someone else?" "She would be upset with me for not enjoying life and she would be telling me she approves of who I am with," Vic softly said. "I don't know if there is anything to our relationship or we are two ships passing each other in the middle of the night, but what I do know, is we will never find out if we don't give it a chance. I want to see you again even if we are just friends. In time we can see what happens," Chris told her. "I want to see you again but I don't feel like going out. Can you and Brooke come over here and we'll cook out and have a nice afternoon together," Vic asked. "I would love to. This weekend say about seven?" Chris asked. "Better make it six so we have time to talk before," Vic commented. "What can I bring?" Chris asked. "Nothing but you and Brooke and an appetite," Vic laughed. Friday after work Vic picked up Addie and Ava from school and headed for the grocery store. She wanted to make sure they had everything ahead of time before Chris and Brooke arrived. She sent the Addie down one aisle for rolls while she had Ava pick up potatoes. She headed over to the meat department to pick out a pork loin she had a recipe for that she wanted to try. From there all three headed for the produce section where they picked up two heads of lettuce, several tomatoes, two cucumbers and a bag of carrots. Although Vic made it sound otherwise she wanted it to be impressive for Chris and Brooke. Having everything they needed for the dinner, the next day she put everyone to work cleaning the house. Ava and Addie she had cleaned the bathrooms upstairs, made their beds and vacuumed while she worked on the downstairs. First was the pork loin, which she put in the slow cooker after seasoning it. When the girls were finished she had Ava help her with the salad preparations while Addie set the table. Vic wrapped the potatoes for placing each of them in the oven. She also made a pie for desert to top the night off. She wanted everything to be perfect in order to impress not that it was needed. After the house was ready Vic went into her bedroom and laid clothes out for the occasion. She jumped into the shower for the second time since this morning wanting every detail to be perfect. Ava was ready not thinking anything was special about today and she wondered what her mother was doing in the shower again. "Mom, are you in the shower?" Ava called through the bedroom door. Not getting an answer she opened the bedroom door to hear the shower running. She waited until Vic came out of the shower when Ava knocked on the door again. "Mom, are you dressed? Can I come in?" she inquired. "Yes sweetie, come in," Vic answered once she was dressed. "Is there anything else you want done before they get here?" Ava asked. "No, thank you for the help," Vic said as she sat down to dry her hair. "Here let me help," Ava said as she took the hairdryer from her mom's hand and started to dry her hair. "You really like Mrs. Adair don't you?" "What makes you say that, Ava?" Vic asked trying to sound innocent. "All the cleaning, cooking something special for them, and taking two showers in a day. It is alright if you do. Addie and I will be on our best behavior this afternoon and if you want I'll keep Addie and Brooke busy tonight so you and Mrs. Adair can have some time to yourselves?" Ava smiled at her mom. "Want do you think we are going to do that you can't see?" Vic asked with a laugh. "Well if I were you I'd take her to bed for a quickie. That's what my girlfriend and I would do given the opportunity," Ava replied. "Ava!" Vic said sounding shocked and startled and that Ava admitted to having a girlfriend. "What? You sound shocked. You're the one who encouraged me to start dating," Ava said. Vic thought back to her conversation she had with Ava when she kissed her that night and then after she had talked with Chris about dealing with what Ava was going through. "You don't think we are totally innocent, do you? I bet you Addie has begun to experiment with Marilyn if she would be honest with you. All girls begin at that age. It's just at my age they become serious about it," Ava explained to her. "Ava, how often have you had sex and with who?" Vic turned to Ava and asked. "Only with Leila, she isn't really my girlfriend. We just hang together. We call each other girlfriends to keep the guys away from us while we figure this whole girl-girl thing out. Before that I only let one person feel me up. It was a guy before I believe you and my mom started dating. I told you I had an interest in girls. You should be well aware of that. It was after our conversation that I met Leila. We've been together for about a month. We've talked about it but between being scared and not having the opportunity we've only kissed here and there. There was one time we felt each other up and touched each other in another place. Mom, do you really want me to go into details or would you rather know your daughter is with another girl and has no chance of getting pregnant?" Ava asked. Ava had finished with her mom's hair and commented to her, "You're beautiful mom. I know why my mom was so taken by you. If I were older I would want to date you too but you should already know that," Ava said making her mom blush at the same time she looked at Ava thinking she still had a crush on her. "Thank you, sweetheart. That is about as nice of a compliment a lady could receive," Vic said and hugged Ava. They went out to check on the slow cooker and to place the potatoes in the oven. It was close to time for Chris and Brooke to arrive so Ava and Vic did a last minute check to see if everything was ready. Thinking, it was Vic who finally sat down next to Ava. "Thank you Ava, for everything. Sometimes I forget how old you are and how mature you have grown. Your mom would be very proud of you," Vic commented. Ava could see her eyes water up and she touched her mom, "Don't start. You'll mess up your make up. You want this date to go well. Don't start it off by crying," Ava said. "What are you two doing," interrupted Addie as she came down the stairs. "Nothing pumpkin spice. We were just talking," Ava said to Addie. "You know sometimes you can be so annoying and other times if you didn't call me that, I would think you no longer cared," Addie said looking at Ava with her hands on her hips. While they were talking the doorbell rang. Knowing it was Chris and Brooke, Vic still stood up and hurried into the hall and looked herself over to see if she was presentable. Addie went to the door as Ava followed her mom into the hall. "Don't worry. You look beautiful," Ava told Vic giving her a reassurance kiss on the cheek which Vic accepted but also wondered if there were ulterior motives behind what Ava said and did to her cheek. Another thought crept into Vic's head but only for a second. That being would she be able to resist Ava again. By the time Vic had entered the living room Brooke and Chris had been let in the door by Addie. "Okay, if I had known this was a formal affair I would have dressed more appropriately," Chris noted after she looked Vic over. "Come in, oh you brought wine. I knew there was something I was forgetting at the store," Vic commented, kissing her on the cheek taking her into the kitchen. Vic poured Chris and herself a glass of wine while she winked at Ava and mouthed "thank you." "Mom, are you ready for me to do anything?" Ava said, "No everything is ready. Let's wait while Chris and I have a chat before we get everything out and on the table," she said. "Good," Addie said as she took Brooke's hand in hers and dragged her upstairs leaving Ava alone with Chris and Vic. "You have a lovely house Vic," Chris commented. "At times it seems too big but with Ava and Addie's help it has become manageable," Vic explained. "Would you like a tour?" Vic offered. "I would love that," Chris responded. Vic gave Chris a tour of the house including the bedrooms which by now Addie and Brooke had somehow to muss the bed up and had her stuffed animals strewn about. Ava's room was much tidier, Ava having followed Chris and her mom upstairs and having only laying on her bed when they walked in. Vic noticed Chris noticing her bed in her room as she was imagining each lying naked on the bed. Next Vic took Chris back downstairs and showed her the rest of the house ending up in the kitchen topping off their wine glasses. "Again you have a beautiful home, Vic," Chris said and noticing the pork loin that was now done. Chris helped Vic cut the pork loin, get the salad out and put everything on the table ready to serve. "Girls, dinner is ready," Vic called to the girls from the bottom of the stairs. The two younger girls came clambering down the stairs followed by Ava. "I would have helped you," Ava said with a slight disappointment in her voice. "I know you would have, sweetheart," Vic said giving Ava a kiss on her cheek because she now had grown almost as tall as Vic was. "Chris was here and you have been such a big help already. I tell you what, you can clean up afterwards," Vic said with a slight chuckle. "Nope, that's a job for pumpkin spice and Brooke to do with my supervision," Ava said looking at Addie and Brooke with a grin on her face. "I see you have them well trained," Chris said with a laugh. "Ava has been my savoir since she has come to live with us. If something needs doing I can count on her to get Addie and herself to see that it is done. Her mom would be very proud of her. She raised a very mature and responsible young lady," Vic told Chris in front of Ava which caused her to blush. "And beautiful too. Does she look like her mom?" Chris asked. "Jana was beautiful but I would say Ava could hold her own and then some," Vic commented looking at Ava who by now was completely red from embarrassment. Again Vic momentarily thought how beautiful Ava had become and her attraction to Ava and wondered would she be able to resist any type of advances from Ava. "A hmm, what about me?" Addie asked not wanting to be left out. "Of course you are honey and Brooke is too," Vic said knowing Brooke looked a lot like her mom. Be Continued.... End of Chapter Four I welcome your comments good or bad. You can reach me at shanda321j@gmail.com. Please let me hear from you. Your comments are the only way I know if you are reading and whether or not you are enjoying my story.