Date: Thu, 23 Nov 2000 08:27:45 -0500 (EST) From: Secret Dreamer Subject: Fall Down and Smile - 6 Hi everyone! Oh golly gee I'm sooo sorry it's taken me so long to write this chapter but I really hope it meets your approval and that it was worth the wait. And I got it out before I left for New York! I think that has to count for something, right? Right! I hope to hear from everyone with their comments. :o) If you'd like to check out the website of this story it's at : If you'd like to know when this story and the site are updated, this is who you e-mail (so to speak) : brainwashedsecretdreamerfollowers-subscribe@egroups.com If you wanna Instant Message me on AOL Instant Messenger (duh), here's my s/n : cHeScHiRe DiVa (cheschire diva, basically) Thank you so much for reading and thank you a thousand times for all the wonderful e-mails I've been receiving. You're a wonderful group of people. Now, on with the story. Chapter 6 "I've had the time of my life and I owe it all to you.." By: Secret Dreamer I blinked. My mouth opened but shut again. I didn't know what to say. What I could say? I blinked. Dawn was cowering on the bed, her shoulders slumped, gaze downcast. Tentatively, she stroked her stomach and began to weep a fresh set of tears. I gathered Dawn in my arms the best I could. "It's going to be okay, sugar." Dawn stiffened and pulled away. "How could you know? You've never been through this!" I bit my lip and took a deep breath. "You're right. I haven't. All I can give you is my love and support and help you raise this baby to the best of my ability." She stared at me as if I'd grown another head. "You'd help?" "Of course!" Dumb question. "I'm your girlfriend, aren't I?" "But it's not your baby," she sighed. "I would hope not," I chuckled. Seeing the humor in it she cracked a small smile. "You know what I mean." "Sugar, mine or not, you're mine and I intend to make that baby mine, as well. First off, we're going to get you an appointment with the doctor. Gotta make sure our little bundle of joy is healthy," I grinned and stroked her hair. She tightened her grip on me again and sighed. "A baby. I don't know if I'm ready to have a child. I mean, I've always wanted to have kids but not now." "God works in mysterious ways, sugar." She shrugged. "I suppose. Oh well. At least I can start off my career before I start showing." I nodded in agreement. "You won't start showing until you're third month and then you can just wear baggy sweaters. No one's really gonna notice until the 5 or maybe even the 7th month." "How do you know so much?" "I knew someone who had a child when she was 18." "Oh, who?" "I'm going to make an appointment for you," I got up and hurried out of the room. Dawn didn't follow me. I made an appointment for the next afternoon. When I returned to the bedroom, Dawn was sleeping. ******* Womp. Womp. Womp. The clear sound of the ultrasound filled the room. My hand was securely locked in Dawn's as we stared at the monitor. The nurse smiled widely and pointed to a small nub. "There it is." Dawn and I strained to see it. "Is our baby healthy?" Dawn squeaked. The nurse nodded. "It's developing nicely." "Can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?" I asked. "It looks like a girl but it's still to early to be definitely sure." Dawn sighed and kissed me. I hugged her tightly and smiled, a small tear slid down my cheek. A baby. ******* We returned to the apartment in high spirits. Dawn was all smiles, which put a grin on my face. She turned around and looked at me before she entered the bedroom to change. "What am I going to tell my parents?" Now that, I wasn't expecting. "That you're carrying a healthy baby." "They're going to want to know how." I sighed, remembering that Dawn still hadn't told her family about the rape. I hadn't been able to get her to counseling and she wouldn't tell anyone. This would definitely put a damper on her 'big secret'. "I guess you'll have to tell them the truth then, honey." "They're going to want me to get an abortion," she called as she entered the bedroom. "I know," I whispered and ran my hand over my own stomach as I sat down on the sofa. I mentally smacked myself. "But what do you want to do?" I called back. She leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms over her chest, completely naked. "Right now, I want to take a shower with my girlfriend." "Come here sweetie," I got up and led her to the little laz-E-boy chair. I pulled her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her. She put her head on my shoulder and arms loosely around my neck. "You can't avoid the subject." "I can try," she said meekly. I pulled her closer and kissed her cheek. "I know this is hard, sugar. And I can't force you to do it. No one can. Only you can do it." She sighed. "I know. I'm just scared. Here I am, with his baby growing inside of me. A man I hate. He fucking raped me and he left his mark the best way anyone could. I'm so afraid that every time I look at her, I'll see him. His face and how he treated me that night." I took Dawn's face in my hands and stared into her eyes. "Did you love Jerad?" "Hell no!" she shrieked. "Do you love this baby?" "Yeah," she whispered. "I never thought I would but I do. Every five minutes I just want to run my hand over my stomach just to make sure she's really there. This baby is going to make everything better, I know it," she smiled and rubbed her stomach. I put my hand over hers. "There's the difference." Dawn thought for a second before hugging me tightly. "Thank you, muffin." I nodded and ran my hands along her smooth back. "You're welcome." She grabbed my hand and pulled me off the chair. "Come on." I stopped her. "Where?" She grinned at me. "Why, the shower of course." She pulled me to her and kissed me deeply. I smiled between the kiss and returned it. Letting my palms roam over her smooth stomach and back around to her waist. Dawn grasped my hands and pulled me to the bathroom, without breaking the lip-lock. Dawn's hand momentarily left mine as the sound of the shower spray erupted. Her hands fell to the zipper between my legs as it slid down, displaying my navy blue undergarments. The material slid down to my ankles as I stepped out of them. I pulled my shirt over my head, both our chests heaving with anticipation and lust. She winked at me and kissed down my chest and stomach. I sucked in a sharp breath as she reached my belly button and blew a thin stream of air into it. I heard her giggle at my reaction and hooked her thumbs in the elastic of my underwear. Her fingers were cold against my hot skin, sending a new sensation through my body as the last piece of clothing left my body and I stood naked in the rapidly heating room. I took Dawn's hands in mine and brought her back to eye level and ravished her lips. She pulled away. "Uh uh." I tried to keep from moaning in lustful anger but quickly swallowed it as she stepped into the shower, beckoning me to follow. I felt like a gangly child as I tripped in after her and wrapped my arms around her. All I wanted at that moment was to feel her skin next to mine. To know that she was real and that her breath against my neck was something tangible. "I love you," I whispered in her ear. Her hair falling in beautiful wet locks against her body. "I love you," she sighed with contentment and pulled me closer. I breathed in the scent of her. Even in the sauna of a bathroom, she still smelled like daisies and summer. I pulled back and stared into her eyes. Lust no longer had a claim in those peaceful eyes. Only love. Love for me. I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her lips to mine. I wanted to savor that kiss. Savor the feeling of her lips against mine. Knowing that her body was pressed against mine. That it was her breasts that constricted my breathing in a seductive sort of way. I felt her legs harboring one of mine. I was in a sensual nest of Dawn. A nest I never wanted to fly from. A nest that I could always call my own. She belonged to me and I to her. She pulled away from me and stroked her fingers through my hair, leading my forehead to rest against hers. "Let's just stay here the rest of the day," she sighed. "Alright," I agreed and pulled her to the floor of the tub. It always amazed me how surprisingly large the bathtub was. She lay beneath me on the warm fiberglass. I knelt before her, taking in every inch of her skin. The perfect curves of her waist, the way her breasts protruded in the sexiest sort of way, the dainty chisel of her cheekbones, and the blue eyes that stared at me in wonder. "You're so beautiful," I breathed as the water pounded against my back. She sat on her knees and took my hand in hers, rubbing her thumb along the back of my palm. "So are you." I felt my cheeks grow hot. She ran her fingers along my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into the touch. Another touch to savor forever. She brought her lips to mine. I felt myself being lowered to the floor. "Everything about you is beautiful," she continued. "You're eyes." She kissed my eyelids. "You're cheeks." She kissed each cheek. "You're hands." She kissed each finger and then my palms. "You're neck." She named all my body parts, sealing each with a light kiss. I purred as she covered me with her lips. When she finished I pulled her into my arms and held her. Her head was planted next to my right breast, my arms wrapped protectively around her back. I never wanted this moment to end. "Iya?" she whispered. "Marry me?" My heart stopped. I sputtered but she placed her finger against my lips to silence me. "Don't answer now," she said in a soothing voice. "I just want you to be mine forever." I held her tightly. "I want that more than anything. I want you to be mine forever. Both of you." She smiled as her hand fell to her stomach. She nodded. "Both of us." I kissed the top of her head as the water turned to an icy chill. We both shrieked and tumbled out of the bathtub. I shut off the spray and heaved as we laughed at our fright. Dawn took my head and pulled me to my feet. She picked up her watch. "It's nearly 9." I took her hand and pulled her to the bedroom. "Well then. We should go to bed." "Oh my, yes," she giggled but stopped me. I cocked my head. She got behind me. "Bend over a bit." "Uh huh." She wrapped her arms around my neck and jumped. Her legs latched around my waist. I laughed and held her legs securely in place. "One piggy back ride." I carried her to the bedroom and dispensed her onto the bed. She crawled under the covers, pulling me with her. I fell into her arms and sighed happily. It didn't take long for us to fall asleep, cuddled against each other as if we were one object. One creation. ******* The sun streamed through the window and landed on the carpet, creating an eerie illumination. I rolled over, half-asleep, but found the other side of the bed empty. I sat up and jumped from the bed. I ran into the kitchen, forgetting my naked state. Dawn was standing over the stove in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. She turned and smiled. "You should get dressed, Muffin," she giggled. "Even though I do prefer you naked." I blushed and ran back to the bedroom. I pulled out a pair of pajamas and put them on, leaving a few of the buttons open. I returned to find two places set with a few roses in a glass vase in the center of the table. "Aww Sweetie! You didn't have to do all this," I grinned at the sight. "I wanted to. After yesterday this seemed appropriate." I wrapped my arms around her waist as she continued working at the stove. I kissed her neck. "Thank you." I looked down at the scrambled eggs and bacon that were simmering slowly. "It's wonderful." She ran her fingers along my hands. "I'm glad." I turned her to face me and kissed her lips and got down on my knees. "Sweetie? In the kitchen?" I laughed and shook my head. I lifted her shirt to show her stomach and kissed the flesh. "Good morning, little one," I whispered and put her shirt back in place. When I looked back up, Dawn had tears in her eyes. She threw her arms around my neck as we held each other. It ended too soon; there was a rapid knock on the door before it opened. "I hope everyone's decent," Caroline's annoying voice said as she walked into the kitchen and helped herself to a cup of coffee. "How's everything?" She inquired as she sipped the hot brew. "Just fine," I hugged Dawn close to me. "Just fine." "Good. Now I-" the phone interrupted her. I held up a finger and picked it up from its cradle. "Hello?" "Iya! It's Em!" I wanted to bash my head against the counter. "Hi." "How's everything in New York?" "Wonderful. Pa?" "Oh, it's okay. It's boring without you here," she cooed. "Well I guess you'll be having a really awful year," I cooed back. Her voice got extremely defensive. "What do you mean?" "I'm staying here." Dawn squealed and threw her arms around me. I grinned and hugged her tightly against me. "Wha..how..What about me?!" she demanded. "What about you?" I inquired. "We're supposed to be together, dammit!" She fumed. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me. "Honey, I'm sorry but no. There was never anything between us. I was the RA you were the advisee. End of story." "How are you doing to make a living?" "My novel," I announced proudly. "If you'll excuse me, I have a breakfast to eat with my girlfriend." "You're what?!" she screamed. "Bye Emiline," I hung up before she could say anything. Dawn was still wrapped around me and I around her. I kissed the top of her head. "Well I come bearing good news," Caroline beamed. We both turned our attention to her. "I got a call back today. It seems a movie producer and director are very interested in your work and they want you to fly to California for a second interview. It's mostly to see if you click with everyone else they've hired. If you do, you're in." Dawn nearly fainted. "I..You mean..Oh my god! When?" "Tomorrow for about four days." "That's convenient. I can get my stuff from PSU while you're gone," I told her. "You sure?" she asked. I nodded. "It'll keep me from missing you too much and besides, I have to see my Jonathan." Dawn nodded. "Tell him to get his ass up here! I wanna see him again." I laughed and agreed. ******* "I'll call you everyday," Dawn said as a few tears slid down her cheeks. "Sweetie, you're only going to be gone for four days. I'll be fine. You just enjoy yourself, okay?" She nodded against my shoulder as she hugged me. "I'll keep my cell phone with me at all times though." That seemed to please her and she broke out into a huge grin as her flight was called. We waved another tearful good-bye. I watched the plane take off before walking back out to the parking lot and getting into Dawn's car. I decided to just start directly out to Penn State. The ride was longer than I remembered. This time I had no companion sitting next to me. I sang to the radio for the whole 8 hours. The scenery flashed past me as I turned from one road to another between highways and turnpikes. Finally, the Nittany Mall came into view. I had only a few more minutes to go. I was eager to withdraw myself and claim my belongings. I thought about staying a few days in a hotel but I realized I was completely broke except for gas and food money. I pulled up in front of the administration office and parked the car. Quite unsteady and stiff, I made my way inside and to the front desk. "May I help you?" The elderly women behind the desk asked. "Yes. I'd like to withdraw from school." "Name." "Iya Kahlil Moon." Her fingers tapped across the board before there was a little beep. Again, more typing and a little beep. "Will you need access to the storage room?" "Yes. I have a few boxers stored there." She handed me a key. "Bring it back when you're done." "Thanks." I took it and left. I climbed back into the car and drove to the dorm. It looked the same as I had left it. I sighed and entered through the double doors. "Iya!" I turned and found a group of my old advisee's sitting in front of the TV. Gregory and Vicki came running up and hugged me. They had been frightened freshman. Vicki had spent the whole first day crying in my room because she was homesick. I had helped her get used to it, showed her around campus and introduced her to Gregory who ended up in my room the fourth day in just about the same condition as Vicki. I returned both of their hugs. "Are you the RA again this year?" Gregory asked with hope. It broke my heart to see him like that when I knew I'd bring a frown to that face. "No. I'm not coming back for 4th year. I'm just here to get my stuff." "What?! Why?" Vicki demanded. "I moved to New York with my girlfriend and I don't want to leave. I finished my novel. Dawn is in California meeting the director and producer for the movie she's going to be in." Both of their jaws fell to the floor. "Care to help me with my boxes?" I asked with a hopeful smile. They laughed and nodded, following me down to the storage area. My boxes were near the back and it was quite a struggle to free them without breaking anything. Roughly an hour later, the car was filled up but Vicki and Gregory refused to let me go without treating me to dinner with a few of my other former advisees and to a possible party. Everyone who was included in the trip dragged me upstairs while they changed to go out. I stared into all the rooms and remembered what it was like to be a college student. In 8 and a half months I would be a mother and wife later on. The thought of Dawn put a smile to my face. "I can't believe you didn't call me," an angry voice declared from behind me. I turned around. "Well you had my number, Jonathan, you didn't call me either." He grinned and hugged me. "I missed you! It'll be good to have you back." I sighed and told the story again. Except I told him about the baby and the proposal. He grinned and gave me his blessing. "Are you going to be moving to California, than?" I laughed. "I'm not jumping to conclusions. She might only be there for the shooting and come back afterwards, I don't know." As if on que, my cell phone rang. I smiled at the caller ID. "Hey Sugar." "Muffin! Where are you?" "In Pennsylvania. How was the flight?" "Long! I hate time change!" I laughed. "When do you know if you're a part of the project?" "I'm meeting everyone tomorrow. I should know before I leave to come home." "I can't wait." "Me neither. I miss you." I sighed. "I miss you, Sugar." Jonathan grabbed the phone. "Dawn? It's Jonathan. Hi! How are you? Good good. Yes, I'll take good care of her. And don't worry about Emmy," Jonathan chuckled. "Yes. Yes. Here she is." Dumbfounded, I put the phone to my ear to hear Dawn's clear laugh. "What was that all about?" "Oh nothing, dear. Don't worry. I have to go though. I'll call you later. I love you." "I love you." I sighed and closed the phone, slipping it into my pocket. Jonathan slid his arm around my shoulder and hugged me. "Four days," I whispered. "Just four days." "It'll go by real quick, I promise," Jonathan smiled and kissed the top of my head. "Thanks." Vicki, Gregory, Franny, Jackie, and Brandon all filed into the hallway. "Everyone ready to go?" There was a chorus of confirmations. We started down the hallway only to be stopped by Emmy. I sighed. I guess it wouldn't be that simple to ignore her. She smiled sweetly at me. "You didn't think you could get away with not coming to see me, did you?" "Emiline Taylor, get out of our way," Jackie growled. "Not until I talk to Iya." "You talked to me yesterday. How you got my phone number I'll never know and I don't want to know because I don't feel like killing the person who did." "Ooh touchy," Emmy hissed. "I like that in a women." "Than find one with that quality because it won't be me. I'm happily engaged thank you." The look on Emmy's confident face was priceless. But her glare could have cut metal. I smiled sweetly at her and turned to everyone. "I do believe that I've talked to her, don't you think?" Everyone nodded their agreement. "Let's go then," we all pushed past her and down to the parking lot. ******* I really hope this met everyone's approval. I'm soo sorry that it took so long for me to write it. I had the biggest writer's block. In two weeks I wrote 3 pages. *sigh* But here it is!!! Lemme know what you thought! Don't forget to smile & Safe Passage, Secret Dreamer