Date: Thu, 5 Dec 2013 17:00:50 -0800 (PST) From: Aoi Sinclaire Subject: Gaining Hope 1 Home life Kysana closed her eyes against the wind, she didn't very much like the wind, she didn't very much like anything. She had herself laid out on the bed in her room, she left the window open because it would've been too much work to close it when she wasn't going to stay in the room for very much longer anyway. Her father would come into the room soon, she knew he would because at 10:15 almost exactly every night her step-mother fell asleep, and about 10 minutes after she fell asleep her father would sneak away and come into her room and do horrible things to her.She remembered when it had started, very vividly because it was the night after her mothers' funeral. She had been seven and her older brother had been fifteen when their mother had been shot and murdered by someone with an idiotic grudge and a big shotgun. Kysanas' family was in the medical practice, and Kysanas' mother, Victorique, was the leading pediatric surgeon for a very high end pediatric hospital. An assisting surgeon had been drinking the night earlier, but went into surgery with Victorique that morning anyway. The child they were operating on died, and the father of that child became violent. Ignorant of the full situation the father of that child blamed the head surgeon, Victorique, and so Kysana and Riley ended up motherless. It was 10:30 now, maybe her father wasn't going to come, maybe just this once she'd be safe? Just then the doorknob twisted and the door creaked open, opening the door quietly was her father. The old man still had hair, but he was completely bald on top, and the only hair he did have was grey or white. He wore a tan suit with a white undershirt and a red tie, he had old square framed glasses, and his green eyes were old and deceitful. Saying nothing, he got into the bed with Kysana. Not bothering to open her eyes she said nothing, nor did she do anything to rally against what was going to happen next. There was a time when she did fight against him, when he first began to hurt her. He went on and on about how she looked, talked, and sang like her mother. After awhile he started to say that her body moved and swayed like her mothers'. When she did fight against him he would beat her, only hitting her in her mid body or her thighs so it wasn't noticeable, and then he would tie her to the bed post. The first few times it happened he used a jump rope, eventually he bought handcuffs. Kysana was long past fighting back now, it'd been 10 years since her mothers' passing, 10 years since this had all started. To be truthful her soul and mind had regressed into itself after so long of being tormented, and her boundaries had all one by one been broken down. She stopped talking about 9 years ago, no one really worried about it other than her brother, she knew how to sign so she could still communicate even without a pen and paper. Everyone thought that this was little Kysanas' way of handling her mothers' death, and all pitied her, she didn't care. Eventually most forgot about the passing of Victorique and guessed that Kysana was either deaf and an incredibly good lip-reader, or she was just some cute mute chick going through a phase. Riley was a sweet guy, he was very protective of his little sister, and he had no idea what their father was doing to her. He had learned sign language for her, and even though he was twentyfive now he only lived next door, just so he could be with his family. The last time Riley had cried was at the funeral, she had hated that, she never wanted to see him cry again. So, as much as he thought he was protecting her, she had decided to protect him. She knew how Riley loved their father, and she had decided not to tell him, or ever let him know. Maybe it was just some instinctual thing, but he never ever caught on in any way that anything was wrong with her. She was happy about that, and made sure that he was too invested in himself, his studies, and work to be worrying too much about her. Besides lately it seemed he had gotten himself a girlfriend, and that was of very much help, seeing as he was so completely in love with whoever it was that he barely had time to worry about her anymore. Kysana finally opened her eyes, her father had already been spent and so he had left. It was midnight now, he had gone at her twice, and she began to wonder if the man ever had any left over for her step-mother. She was left with no bottoms, of any fashion, and her white button up blouse with only the top button buttoned. At least he had taken off most of her clothes this time, so none of them were stained. There were times when he didn't care enough, and her clothes did get stained. Either way something would get stained, the sheets. Her father never wore a condom, and people would probably question her if she asked for birth control, especially if she'd asked for it when she was seven. She had read a lot of books when she was a child, and she knew about how babies were made by the time she was six, and she began to steal birth control the minute she began having her period, when she was eleven. It's pretty easy to steal things from the pharmacy when your brothers' worked there since he was nineteen and you're as quiet as Kysana is. It was 1:00 now, Kysana liked to keep time, it helped her think for some reason. She sat up in the quiet darkness, her ankle long dark black hair falling over her shoulders. Sometimes people would ask her why her hair was so long, she'd never tell them the truth. She'd say it was because she just liked it that way, when the truth was so much more complicated. Her hair was the only thing she could control, and it was her prayer, her prayer for freedom. She stood letting what was inside of her flow down her legs, she knew everyone was asleep by now, her father and her step-mother. Used to be she had to be more careful, Riley would wake up to go pee or something, and she would have to say she couldn't sleep because she felt like she needed a shower. Of course she would have to get clothed before she left the room when he lived there, now she just took a tissue and wiped most of the access of his seed from herself. Ignoring the nakedness of herself she took a change of clothes and walked down the stairs to the bathroom. Setting the change of clothes on the toilet she began to run the water, when it was a good height she shut off the tap and let herself sink into the steaming water slowly. Whenever she was in the hot water like this, cleaning herself after whatever her father had done to her, she felt a little like she was part of the water, and in that way she was cleansed, but she was never really truly clean. Sometimes she wanted to be clean so bad it hurt. After getting out of the bath she unclogged the tub and clothed herself. She now wore plain white underwear, and a layered cotton white dress. The dress had a knee high hemline with long sleeves and a v-neck. It was a perfect dress for her really, it covered all bruises and scars. She was a beautiful girl she had a long neck, high cheekbones, a button nose, a chiseled jawline, incredibly big slanted electric blue eyes with long eyelashes, arched eyebrows, and pouty lips, her upper lip a little smaller than her lower. Her skin was very pale, though now it was a little pink from the hot water. Her wet hair was curling as she brushed it out slowly, when she was done she got out of the bathroom and went back into her room. Now was 4:00, the sun wasn't showing yet, it wouldn't for another hour. Clicking her tongue she took the sheets off the bed and went downstairs to put them in the washing machine that resided in the basement. Chucking the sheets in there and starting the wash she went about her duties. No one ever asked her to do anything, she always wondered why. She made breakfast, and set the table, she opened the curtains, and she swept the floor, she continued on in the quietness, and when she was done it was 7:00 in the morning. Her parents woke up and her family ate breakfast together, mostly it was just her step-mother trying to start conversations with either Kysana or her father, but the silence remained in the air like a stagnant and pungent stink that could never be washed away no matter how hard you scrubbed. She put on her black leather steel toed boots, her red leather watch, her woollen red scarf, and her grey beanie. With one look back on her forsaken family she went out the door, waiting out front was her brother in his sleek black car, waiting to pick her up. `Hello, my Riley' Kysana signed as she settled herself in the car and closed the door. Riley had a long neck, high cheekbones, arched eyebrows, and a button nose too, but his jaw was more rounded with a cleft chin, his lips were a little thinner, his hazel eyes were smaller and they weren't at all slanted. He had olive skin and freckles on his face, his jaw length black hair was combed back a bit but his bangs still fell over his face a little bit. "And hello my Sana," He said with a chuckle as he began to drive ", so how goes the day?" Kysana bit her lip and looked out the window, she was tired, no sleep again tonight, and now she had to go to school. Thank the gods she was so quiet and unnoticeable that she was practically invisible, besides that fact she had a few friends who would protect her if trouble ever did happen. She may be bullied at home, but she wasn't at school, far from it in fact she was spoiled at school... kind of `So-so' she signed, Riley looked at her a moment before looking back on the road. He sighed and then smiled "Almost there, hey you know to text me if anything ever happens right?" he asked with a worried tone. Kysana stared at him for a moment with questioning eyes. After awhile he noticed her pointed stare "Wha- I mean you've been bullied before, I'm just worried about you, geez, sue me." he said with another tiny chuckle. Lie, it was a lie Kysana had to tell once because when she was nine their father dislocated her arm. Kysana had kept it a secret for three days before Riley found out and took her to a hospital, thankfully nothing but the dislocated arm and the wrist bruises were found. She had said it was bullies, and that was beginning to prove more trouble than it was worth. `Okay, okay, I'll phone if anything happens' she signed rolling her eyes deliberately, making him think she was just being a belligerent teenager. She lied, she acted, she felt little to nothing, the only point to living she had left was protecting him. In her bitter pursuit of happiness, she gained no hope. |__________________________________________________________________________| Alrighty then my lovely readers, I'll update more asap, but the meeting between the two destined won't even happen `till the update after next, at least I don't think so... Anyway, feedback? Email; Blue_sinclaire@yahoo.com Monsieur Muffin man will now make you all muffins for bearing with me --L