Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2000 18:32:09 -0800 (PST) From: Sarah Bailey Subject: The Kayak Trip Kayaking the River The cold mountain water cascaded its blends of melted snow from the different peaks that broke through into the clouds. Those hapless trickles of melting snow joined other trickles, meshing with the sweet spring rains, blending and mixing into streams, which then stretched into small rivers. These swell every so slightly, yet insistently. Great roars of delight resound against the river shores as the rocks of its life stand strongly against the flow of life, breaking the gentleness into white caps of efforts to pass successfully by the obstacles. The roar of the water was deafened to my ears sometimes as my head was submerged, my ears filled with the sweet coolness of its voice, then I would break above the rapture to catch a breath while it drove me harder and harder to a breaking point, only to allow me to catch my breath while laughing, yet crying, all at once. I was afraid, and yet I was hungry for another kiss of the sweet resounding passion of the living water. I wanted to become one with it, feel the currents against my skin and through my soul. I wanted to feel more of how we never notice the obstacles of boulders in our path. The day had started as many had before. Waking up to the songs of the birds in the trees, feeling once again the fresh dampness of the grass beneath me, breathing in deeply the sweet pleasure of cool fresh air. The river was my life's blood, my spiritual blood. Every river drew me to her as a lover, reaching out her fingers to run through my hair, my soul, and my life. Calling me to dive deep within her, become one with her, let my frustrations and my passions flow from me into her, where she could take them to the bottomless sea and leave them. Letting me see that there is no obstacles in my life that can stop me, but only make me stronger. She showed me her wrath as there are even more obstacles in her way, but it only makes the calmness the sweeter. She shows me how sometimes the earth drops away from under her, not to cause an ending, but an astounding beauty as the miniature droplets of her life mix with the sunshine to blind a person in the brilliance of her rainbows. She holds my spirit in the base of her lineage, and everywhere she is I can call home. She teaches me, holds me, scolds me, and yet could break me if I should but make one mistake. I respect her, and I love her. That is why I am here today. I heard her calling me, and I came to her. She has a message for me, and it is only right and good that I listen. I had started out in my kayak, paddling across the calm waters, feeling the tightness in my muscles, stretching my sides and finding my balance. She seemed temper mental today. Almost like stinging for a fight, but I was up for the challenge. The ride today could be rough, I knew, but what is that against the blueness of the skies, or the sight of a hawk gliding in the morning breezes. It would be a good day to die, and I prayed for safe keeping in the passage of the day, yet if my name was called, I give thanks for such a wonderful gift as this river. To me, I gave thanks for life and the love that flows unhindered and true. My paddles dip again and again, and I gain speed, then I dig deeply into her and swing around my paddle to climb into her lap by going against her flow. I watch the path of the water, and begin climbing from eddy to eddy, feeling the slow pulse under my legs as the water churned around the calmness behind the stones. I feel the pleasure of catching a wave and standing there, facing her, not moving, surfing, feeling the tease of her fingers trying to pull me to one side or another. It becomes easier as I find our place, and she allows me to sit in silence, listening to her groans and tantalizing calls for me. I pause enough to dip my fingers gently into her, and wipe my face with her sweetness. Another dip with my other hand brings her sweetness to my lips and I taste her, and smile as I bask in her pleasures. Then I allow myself to glide gently down with her, letting her take me where she is a bit calmer, and I have arrived. Again, I work my way upwards, letting her tease me with her fingers, and her groans as I dip first slow then harder and faster to reach this place again where we stand almost melted together, then I dip deeply into her depths and turn hard to ride down her rolling waves into her graceful curves of calmness. I explore every inch of her. Every rock that breaks through her being provides a curious incentive to stop and look from this point of view. Every shallowness exhibits thousands of smaller stones and sand that have shaped her into what she is today. Every depth blends together with the small grains of sand and rock to give her movement along her way. The trees dig their roots into her edges to live off the life giving substance that she so freely provides. Some have clung too closely to her, and they now hang lifeless in their fallen greed. Animals come to her and drink from her, or take the life of that which lives deep within her, so that they may live. She doesn't mind a bit to give and share herself. We all know to come to her with caution and respect. Taking no more than we need. Leaving no trash behind. Keep her happy and clean. We have reached a place where her pulse quickens, and I begin to take more extra attention to my roaming. I find her triangles of rushing waters, and I make my way down them. Today, I will play where I want, and let her take me for a ride. She takes me through a gentle slope, and she pulsates beneath me as I weave in and out and around her mounds of rocks. She stops my roaming by blocking the way and shows me the way for a more exhilarating ride. I turn from my pressing, and follow her directions, and find myself fighting for my own balance, groaning with my own exertion, feeling the sweat begin to tickle down my back as I balance and check and twist and turn above her. She calls to me, and I feel the urgency beneath me, but I just twist my body around the paddles watching behind me, in front of me, feeling her, riding her. I see an eddy of calm water by the rushing cascades of yet another drop of the earth beneath us, and I push myself toward it. It must be caught at the right instant or we will continue to rush down her pleasures. It draws quickly closer to me, and I bite into her with a quick break and turn, and with another stroke with passion we are here. Gasping, and filled with the roaring burn of adrenalin, we rest for a moment. But the ride is far from over, as I feel her beneath me, gently arching, stroking me, gently calling me. I must gain my own senses back into control or I will be lost to her wills, which is dangerous for me. Not here and not at this moment. I must breath. However, I never let go of the pleasure she is giving me so freely, so completely. I never stop listening to her gentle roars, her tugs, her urging me for more. In what seems like only a moment of time and space, I have caught my breath, and I twist into her flow once again. The pulse of her instantly quickens, and her waves stand strong and tall in her stretching, and I find myself sweeping backwards, so that I can turn and ride them. She stretches towards the clouds in her throbs of pleasure, and I find myself gasping in my own efforts to stay afloat, balancing, working hard, feeling her lift me again and again as I dig deeply into her depths, catching her rhythm of arches and wanes, keeping aligned with her flow. I am breathless again, and sweating from my own pleasure. I groan to sink deeply into her, to feel her wetness wash over me, yet I refuse my own release, and I seek to hold myself here for just another moment. She arches herself and throws me from her crests and I hear the crashing of the white caps as they rush one by one over me, as I pierce through her faster and faster as we ride together. She wets me with her coolness and it blends quickly with my own hotness. I find myself riding backwards for a moment, before I can find my way downward again, dipping into her quickly and deeply. Her voice resounds in my ears with her throbs over the rocks, pushing me over, rolling on top of me. I am holding my breath as I ride with her, watching the rocks rush by my head, not caring as I thrill in her touch. I quickly find a grip and roll over again and I am riding on her once again, gasping for breath, alive and wonderfully loving this pleasure. She has kissed me deeply, and we still ride. I laugh as I feel the earth drop away from beneath me, and I almost scream as I fall for what seems like eternity before I dive straight into her rich sweetness. She envelops me with her being, and rolls me, pulling me from my boat, away from my own comfort. She allows me to breathe for a second before pulling me once again into her depths, pushing and pulsating, diving deeply into my being. I break for the surface, and feel the tugging of her currents against my hot and wet skin. She sucks me into her once again, driving me mad, as I frantically grasp against her to find the rushing of the air as it flows into my burning lungs. She licks me, she flings me, she rides me with the passion only a woman can give, and I find myself weakening under her fingers. She gives me a reprieve, and I pull my legs forward so that I may bounce from the rocks that may jump in our way. I have no choice now but to ride, to feel the deep pleasures of her, to feel the depths that she can so easily drive me toward. I feel my own reserves weaken and flow from me as a bursting dam. I am madly aware, yet sink with a gasp and spasm of life. What I thought was just a short distance to her calmness, I find, has a hidden reserve of passion, and we flow downwards together, loving, touching, sharing. Sharing the juices of our passion with every fiber of our being. She allows me yet another breath, and holds me in her grips as I flow with her, up and down large standing waves, and I do not want to go to shore. I want to stay here. Ride here. Be here. Yet in a moment, she has released her grip on me, and we gently float toward the calmness of a love well ridden. She places my boat, my comfort, within reach, but my grip is weak yet tenacious. I float gently with her, pulling along my comfort, until we reach a place where my feet hit solid ground once again. She seems to smile in her gentle calling of my name. I can only thank her. Just love her. As I stand in the shallow water breathing deeply, slowly pulling myself together, I lay again beside her just to listen to her voice and watch the clouds roll by. I wash myself with her, and I feel alive. My heart is beating, my lungs full of air, and a deep satisfaction throbs through my being. I notice the sun and smile. The clouds have been swept away, and the suns rays pierce my skin, drying me slowly with its warmth. It is still early yet. Perhaps after getting a little something to eat, we can ride again. This is home, and this is my love. This is a very good morning.