Date: Sat, 21 Sep 2002 16:21:44 EDT From: ForMySaniT@aol.com Subject: Need, Serenity and Joy Title: Need, Serenity and Joy By: Christene (lesbian, romance) Disclaimer: This is a fictional story involving a romance between two females, if that offends you, I recommend that you stop reading. "I need you," was all she had said. Words so simple by many standards but, the feeling that had been placed within them gave them merit like few others. I found myself willing to move heaven and even, earth, itself, to get to her. To be quite honest, I am not sure how I arrived at our home. My desire to hold her was so intense that I could not concentrate on anything else. It was almost, as though, my love for this woman had willed me to her. Yes, I know. That sounds a bit farfetched but, this is how I was as I entered our living room. I stared at her sitting in the light of the sun which filtered in through the corner window. You know, that soft light that gives everything such a dreamy and mystical look. The sun made it so easy to see any and all dust that might have been floating idly across the room. Looking around the darkened room, I could barely make out anything except for my weeping angel, who did not seem to be warmed by the bright light bathing her alone. Her ivory skin seemed a bit paler than was usually the case. I wondered why. It stood out against the black satin robe that she always loved to wear for me. Judging by the way it fit her now, I could guess that she wore nothing underneath it. She sat with her knees tucked close to her body in what was my favorite chair. Delicate arms hugged her own slender body, trying to stop the shaking that she thought might never end. Golden strands of silky hair had been pulled off her neck but, there were the usual stray strands falling here and there. These things I always thought made my Serenity, just that, my serenity. So why was my every happiness crying this way? Those blue eyes were never meant to house such pain within them. I took a step forward watching as her entire body turned to steel. "What's wrong, my love?" I asked in the most gentle voice that I could muster. With my voice, Serenity felt her sobs crushing her more violently than before. I fell to my knees at her feet wishing with my entire being that I could stop her from ever hurting in this way again. "What happened to us, Joy?"Serenity asked with so much pain seeping through to her voice. The dagger that pierced my heart caused a saddened groan to leave my lips. I would have done anything to take away her worry, her tears, her pain but, she just seemed to stare right through me. "Serenity," I started, weakly. "I know that I have been working a lot, lately. I know that I haven't been showing you that I appreciate you as much as I should--" I quickly corrected myself. "I know that I haven't been showing you that I appreciate you as much as I do. I truly do, baby! You have to know that." I sighed. Why did my chest feel as though it had a weight against it? The sound of Serenity's crying growing louder answered that question for me. "I can do better, love. Just don't give up on me! Stay with me." The tears were stinging at my deep brown eyes as I said, "Please." Serenity clutched her head painfully. "None of this makes any sense, Joy!" I placed a mocha-skinned hand upon hers. She felt so warm, so nice. She was everything I had ever wanted and I was letting her slip away from me. "I know, baby. I know. We can get through this, though, if you just have a little faith in us." "I'm so tired," she sniffled. "God, I haven't slept for days." My brown eyes showed my concern as I flinched with her words. I was such a heavy sleeper. If she had tossed and turned, I would not have known without being told. Smoothing her cheek, I wiped away her tears. "Why don't you rest now? We can discuss this, later." Serenity held her breath for just a moment before releasing it and her words in one long weary exhale. "I don't want to go to our bed alone, Joy. I can't go alone." I quickly rose to my feet with a hopeful expression covering my face. "Oh, you won't be," I assured her. "I'm right here with you, Serenity. I will be for as long as you need." She smiled softly as she brushed away the last of her tears. Serenity rose slowly to her feet then held herself for comfort even as I placed my hand gently to the small of her back. I knew how much she enjoyed when I guided her that way so my hand resting against the cool fabric of the satin robe seemed like the best thing that I could do for her at the moment. We walked together into our bedroom. The large full size bed welcomed us with the invitation of hope and perhaps reconciliation. I helped her gently pull back the white down comforter. I remembered when she had brought it home shortly after we had first moved in together. She had told me that it made her feel as though she were sleeping on a cloud. I had never thought too much about that sort of thing until Serenity. Before her, my house was just a place where I slept until I had to leave for work the next day. Somehow, she made these walls a home, full of warmth and love. Her soft little touches were now present all about the house. This is the way it should be. There should be a merger of both our selves and our styles inside this, our home. Serenity absently pulled the sash at her waist, causing the robe to open before puddling to the ground at her feet. My hands lightly caressing over her arms and shoulders brought tiny goose-bumps to her skin. Kissing lovingly over her neck, I apologized for her pain and promised to do my best to ease her mind. I sat down on the side of the bed watching over her as she settled under the blankets. Trying to relax, myself, I took off my heels, unclasping them at the ankles. In the large room, the sound of my heels falling to the hardwood floor seemed to echo just a bit. I turned back to Serenity as I heard her all but, purring those words which had caused me to drop everything as I knew it to come home to her. "I need you, Joy." I smiled happily. "I need you, too, love." There were those words again. They were the same as the ones which had caused me to hurry to her before but, they had such a different meaning this time. What Serenity had not said but, was supposed to be clearly understood was that she needed me with her. She needed me to be with her right now. Although we would most assuredly make love, that is not what Serenity needed. She needed the contact of skin on skin which came with it. She needed the touching, the expression of feeling through every caress, every look, every moan. This is what Serenity meant in that small phrase. Fighting the urge to tear away my clothes, I instead slowly removed my black tailored suit. My eyes roamed over my suit as I slipped out of it. This suit had become a bit of a trademark for me. My lover joked that she rarely saw me out of one. Perhaps, I would take a vacation and then invest in jeans. The next, to fall to the floor was my lacy white bra. Blue eyes warmed my being as Serenity watched me slowly pull my white panties over my hips. I slowed my actions to a seductive show strictly for her benefit. The smile that I received in response made me happy beyond imagining. "I love you," Serenity whispered. Joining my lover in our bed, I pressed my tall body to hers. A moan left my lips at the feel of her body's warmth. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer to me. It wasn't long before I found myself kissing over her hair, her neck and moving once again to her shoulders. "Joy, please," I heard her purring. Maneuvering under the soft comforter, I eased my body atop hers. She parted her long smooth legs for me, wrapping them around my body. I looked down to see her left hand slowly beginning to caress her small thatch of dark blonde hair at the apex of her legs. Smiling, I stooped down to kiss over her full breasts. The pale rose nipple that I took into my mouth demanded my attention while her other breast found itself on the receiving end of both our teasing fingers. My thigh teasingly brushed against her sex, testing her readiness for me. I watched the beautiful woman beneath me shivering because of it. There was a fiery warmth originating from my lover, making her skin begin to feel almost feverish. Serenity stroked her outer lips, feeling the collection of moisture accumulating there. She closed her blue eyes trying to keep her breathing even despite her accelerated heartbeat. Her fingers gently separated her lips, revealing her swollen clit. In all my life, I had never seen anything as beautiful as this woman so trusting beneath me. What I saw being unveiled to me reminded me so much of a dew-covered flower opening up to greet the warmth of the morning sun. "Oh, love," I moaned softly. "You are so beautiful." Serenity held her breath for the longest heartbeat as both, her middle and ring finger, pushed inside of her. "Joy, kiss me, please." My lips fell on hers in a slow kiss. I tried to convey every powerful emotion that I had for this, my beautiful lover into that kiss. My tongue gently caressed against hers, charting the recesses of her mouth and savoring her sweet taste. I pressed my body to hers feeling our breasts come together for the first time. The sensation caused a ripple to pass through me. Serenity broke our kiss, saying a very breathy, "More, Joy. I need more." She didn't have to say any more. I knew what she meant. I reached my hand down between her sweat-glistened legs taking a moment to lightly caress over her abdomen. My hand lay on top of hers. I could feel her fingers working smoothly but, diligently in their rhythm. After waiting for Serenity's fingers to begin their withdrawal, I eased my two fingers inside with hers. I listened to her cry out in the immense pleasure that was enveloping her. "Let me in deeper, my love," I whispered against her ear. She purred a simple, yes, before opening her hips to grant me more of her. I could feel us moving together as one inside of her silky wetness. In all our lovemaking, I had never felt anything like this, now. It was as though I could feel her every thought. We were connected like I had never imagined we could be. Serenity's ivory skin was rosy with our efforts. The light sheen that covered her body captivated me in the intricacy of the beads rolling in scattered patters over her body. Leaning down, I kissed her breasts, rolling my tongue over a hardened nipple while she gasped for air. My name was on her lips as was always the case in those short and precious moments just before her climax. I increased our pace, reaching upward with my thumb to caress her clit with it. The first ripples of orgasm hit her in that moment, I knew. I could feel the surges of wetness surrounding our fingers while her innermost muscles massaged them in spasmodic grip after grip. I looked down on her, glowing beneath me. She looked so beautiful, struggling in exhaustion to catch her breath. "Joy, I love you so much," she began to chant over and over again. Those words, said from her lips, in this manner, after such a wonderful event, never failed to leave me speechless. I could only stroke her blonde hair, smooth her cheek and lightly kissing over her head. **** The next morning, Serenity woke feeling her muscles sore in that glorious way after a session of lovemaking while the scent of sex wafted into her nostrils. She reached out to the body next to hers but, found that she was alone in the bed. Judging by the cold feel of the bed on that side, she had been alone for some time. Suddenly, her body lurched upward as her blue eyes grew wide. "Joy," she gasped. Serenity threw back the sheets of her bed, rushing to the bathroom. She showered and dressed in lightning speed, thinking of nothing but, Joy. She knew exactly where to find her. It was no surprise. Joy would be where she had been for the past two months now. Nothing had changed on this the morning after, Serenity knew this. Serenity hurried down the road, driving on a sort of autopilot. When she entered, her body tensed. She hated this place. She hated its bleached-white, sterilized and impersonal feel in what she thought should have been such a warm and comforting place. She rounded the corner, dipping her head in acknowledgment of the three women, who had as was the case every day, offered her a warm hello. Upon arriving at her lover's door, she knocked gently. "Joy," Serenity said softly, as she peaked into the room. Serenity smiled warmly. There was her Joy. The sun was at Joy's back giving mocha skin a nice glow. Long silky black hair caught the sunlight wonderfully. The blonde entered the room and took a chair at her lover's side. She gently took Joy's hand into her own. "Last night, was. . ." Her voice trailed off as she listened to the sound of machines monitoring Joy's every function. The chirping machine keeping track of her lover's heart seemed so impersonal to the sound of the steady drumming she used to love to listen to with her head placed against Joy's soft chest. "It seemed so real," she said with tears in her eyes. "I felt you there, Joy! I was so certain that you were there!" Wearily, her head fell forward, resting against Joy's hospital bed. Serenity struggled not to cry just as she struggled every visit not to cry since the day of the car accident. She raised her head to look at her lover, who appeared to be sleeping peacefully and not actually in the comatose state that had taken her from her loved ones for months, now. "Come back to me, Joy. I need you!" So slight at first was this flutter that she doubted that she had actually seen it. Serenity stared closer squeezing the hand in hers tightly. "That's it, baby. Come on! Wake up!" The sudden powerful vice grip on her hand could have medically been explained as a muscle jerk, a twitch. She was standing, now. The rough motion in which she had risen to her feet had caused the chair behind her to jar backwards nearly falling to the ground."Come on, baby. Lemme see those beautiful brown eyes!" Serenity saw the fluttering once more. It was just as subtle as before but, she was determined to watch those long lashes for as long as it took until she was sure of what was happening. There, in that, the longest ten minutes of her natural born life, she waited, scared to move or even breathe. Joy never opened her eyes. In fact, Serenity felt the hand holding hers loosen until it fell limp. "A muscle spasm," Serenity whispered. She felt a tear run hotly down her cheek. Angry, disappointed and hurt, she released her girlfriend's hand. She pushed off the bed moving to stand at the window. "Dammit, Joy! You are such a tease, sometimes!" "Never bothered you before." Serenity felt her entire body tense. She looked over her shoulder to her motionless girlfriend. Joy hadn't said that. It was only her mind wishing that she had. She walked around to the bed, lying beside her lover. Wrapping her arms around Joy, she kissed over her neck and cheek. "I love you, Joy. Do you hear me?" There in her lover's presence, she dozed because when Serenity opened her eyes she realized just where she was. The hospital, her inner voice groaned. She looked from the ceiling above to the woman beside her. Brown eyes were staring at her lovingly. "Joy?!" Serenity felt a finger press lightly against her lips. "Shh," Joy whispered. "I could hear you." Serenity thought that she might cry from sheer happiness. Instead, she forced herself to remain calm, despite her trembling hands. "What is the last thing that you remember?" The flashed fragmented memory of her car being sideswiped by a red car caused Joy to harden. "It's okay," Serenity promised. She kissed her lover softly. "You're okay, now." Joy forced those dark thoughts away. "That isn't the last thing that I remember though." Serenity's eyebrows knit together in a curious frown. "What do you remember?" "You calling. You said you needed me." Blue eyes grew wide. "That was you that I felt!" Joy smiled before nuzzling wearily at her lover's neck to rest until the doctor came. They would have a long road ahead of them but, she was certain that Serenity would help her through it.